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On September 20 2014 18:08 hfglgg wrote:Show nested quote +On September 20 2014 17:35 maartendq wrote:On September 20 2014 17:32 hfglgg wrote:On September 20 2014 17:25 maartendq wrote:On September 20 2014 16:36 hfglgg wrote:On September 20 2014 15:47 Passion wrote:On September 20 2014 15:21 GettingIt wrote:
I was spanked as a child and don't see how people can think that spanking is okay. There are ways to teach children proper behavior that doesn't involve hitting them. Kids don't know any better they should be taught the consequences of their actions and why they shouldn't do improper things and what those reasons are. Getting hit isnt one of those reason. Have fun endlessly debating with your kids. Also, I'd take a spanking any day over the mental abuse that nowadays is often considered an acceptable educational method. Obviously not referring to above example... beating your kid to the point of bleeding is just ridiculous. if you dont want to talk to your kids, dont have kids. That's got little to do with it. You cannot reason with children, their brains aren't developed enough for that. They will not think "yes, this rational argument my dad just gave for not being allowed to do that sounds reasonable. I will not do that anymore", they think "If I do that, I risk getting spanked/shouted at/shamed; doing that does not pay off to me, even though I really want to". Imagine what schools would be like if teachers were required to give rational arguments to children on why they should sit still and be quiet in class. Then again, nowadays everything that even slightly reeks of discipline or respect for authority is considered bad. i am certain your teachers did not beat you, lol. we are not in the 19th century anymore. if you can not explain something to your child, then there is a pretty big chance that you have no idea why you explain it to it in the first place. I didn't get beaten by teachers, obviously. Just learned very quickly that "because I say so" was a valid argument to not do stuff, both at home and at school. That gradually changed when I grew into a teenager, of course, but even then we were expected to do what the teachers told us to, not to question every word they said. Especially the older generation of teachers had very little patience with overly vocal pupils. The younger generation had less problems with that, but I think a lot of that stems from the fact that they're still growing in their job, and are trying to find their place in an often new work environment (i.e. I want to be a cool teacher). When they get more experienced, they seem to shift their focus more towards the content rather than outside appearances. After all, 40-somethings are rarely regarded 'cool' by teenagers anyway. soooo your teachers did not beat you and you still behaved? interesting...
That's probably the difference between a good teacher with autority, and a pitiful teacher you can't make himself listen but with a stick ?
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I have never found any need for punishment of any kind. This bullshit about having to condition children like pigeons is just ridiculous to me, children are hardwired to see you as an authority and take your suggestions seriously. They also respond very well to relationships based on reciprocation. You give me shit, i will not be inclined to do aything fun with you. They draw on the wall, I explain that drawing is better when you do it on a piece of paper. Bedtime can be difficult, but I don't think you can punish a child to sleep. I don't know how it is when a kid has some kind of condition obviously.
I honestly don't understand what a child could possibly do to deserve being phyisically assaulted, but people will rationalize anything if it makes them feel better about their relationship with their parents and/or kids.
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I was spanked but i was never in much pain.
Spanking is ok as long as it is not used frequently,and shouldnt be very painful.If you have to spank your child every day,you are ether bad parent or there is something wrong with your child psychologically.
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On September 20 2014 17:35 maartendq wrote:Show nested quote +On September 20 2014 17:32 hfglgg wrote:On September 20 2014 17:25 maartendq wrote:On September 20 2014 16:36 hfglgg wrote:On September 20 2014 15:47 Passion wrote:On September 20 2014 15:21 GettingIt wrote:
I was spanked as a child and don't see how people can think that spanking is okay. There are ways to teach children proper behavior that doesn't involve hitting them. Kids don't know any better they should be taught the consequences of their actions and why they shouldn't do improper things and what those reasons are. Getting hit isnt one of those reason. Have fun endlessly debating with your kids. Also, I'd take a spanking any day over the mental abuse that nowadays is often considered an acceptable educational method. Obviously not referring to above example... beating your kid to the point of bleeding is just ridiculous. if you dont want to talk to your kids, dont have kids. That's got little to do with it. You cannot reason with children, their brains aren't developed enough for that. They will not think "yes, this rational argument my dad just gave for not being allowed to do that sounds reasonable. I will not do that anymore", they think "If I do that, I risk getting spanked/shouted at/shamed; doing that does not pay off to me, even though I really want to". Imagine what schools would be like if teachers were required to give rational arguments to children on why they should sit still and be quiet in class. Then again, nowadays everything that even slightly reeks of discipline or respect for authority is considered bad. i am certain your teachers did not beat you, lol. we are not in the 19th century anymore. if you can not explain something to your child, then there is a pretty big chance that you have no idea why you explain it to it in the first place. Just learned very quickly that "because I say so" was a valid argument to not do stuff, both at home and at school.
You know, i have haten that saying since i was a child because atleast for me it just shows that the adult doesnt have a valid point.
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On September 20 2014 18:22 Luolis wrote:Show nested quote +On September 20 2014 17:35 maartendq wrote:On September 20 2014 17:32 hfglgg wrote:On September 20 2014 17:25 maartendq wrote:On September 20 2014 16:36 hfglgg wrote:On September 20 2014 15:47 Passion wrote:On September 20 2014 15:21 GettingIt wrote:
I was spanked as a child and don't see how people can think that spanking is okay. There are ways to teach children proper behavior that doesn't involve hitting them. Kids don't know any better they should be taught the consequences of their actions and why they shouldn't do improper things and what those reasons are. Getting hit isnt one of those reason. Have fun endlessly debating with your kids. Also, I'd take a spanking any day over the mental abuse that nowadays is often considered an acceptable educational method. Obviously not referring to above example... beating your kid to the point of bleeding is just ridiculous. if you dont want to talk to your kids, dont have kids. That's got little to do with it. You cannot reason with children, their brains aren't developed enough for that. They will not think "yes, this rational argument my dad just gave for not being allowed to do that sounds reasonable. I will not do that anymore", they think "If I do that, I risk getting spanked/shouted at/shamed; doing that does not pay off to me, even though I really want to". Imagine what schools would be like if teachers were required to give rational arguments to children on why they should sit still and be quiet in class. Then again, nowadays everything that even slightly reeks of discipline or respect for authority is considered bad. i am certain your teachers did not beat you, lol. we are not in the 19th century anymore. if you can not explain something to your child, then there is a pretty big chance that you have no idea why you explain it to it in the first place. Just learned very quickly that "because I say so" was a valid argument to not do stuff, both at home and at school. You know, i have haten that saying since i was a child because atleast for me it just shows that the adult doesnt have a valid point.
It can very well be that whatever rationale underlies the argument is simply too complex for a young child to understand. Humans are genetically hardwired to accept adult authority as kids, which can easily be observed in the fact that most children will share their parents' beliefs and values until they reach the age of reason. There are good evolutionary reasons for this, and there is nothing inherently wrong with a parent ruling by fiat rather than compromise.
It only becomes a problem if the parent is indoctrinating the child with patently bad or erroneous ideas, which happens rather often.
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Interesting results, Europe vs the rest of the world.
I personally didn't get spanked ever. My brother did a few times, but I was a much more well-behaved kid. He was a good kid as well, but sometimes he crossed the line. He was the first kid, a lot older.
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Northern Ireland25372 Posts
Very rarely, if I had properly fucked up and no spoons or anything.
I see people who seem to use it as a first course of action and don't even explain to their kids what it is they are doing wrong. Can't see that being a good method.
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never been spanked, my little brother was a few times tho when he did extremly dumb shit
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Poll is a big strange, I think almost every kid in the world been spanked at least few times, but the question is about frequency of spanks, right? Personally I've been spanked few times when I was a kid, but I deserved that for sure, and still don't remember any spanking process like it was any other punishment for kids, for example a week without TV or so on, so my answer was "No".
So as a kid I never felt the violence.
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On September 20 2014 19:24 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:
Poll is a big strange, I think almost every kid in the world been spanked at least few times, but the question is about frequency of spanks, right? Personally I've been spanked few times when I was a kid, but I deserved that for sure, and still don't remember any spanking process like it was any other punishment for kids, for example a week without TV or so on, so my answer was "No".
So as a kid I never felt the violence.
nope, not every child gets spanked.
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On September 20 2014 19:24 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:
Poll is a big strange, I think almost every kid in the world been spanked at least few times, but the question is about frequency of spanks, right? Personally I've been spanked few times when I was a kid, but I deserved that for sure, and still don't remember any spanking process like it was any other punishment for kids, for example a week without TV or so on, so my answer was "No".
So as a kid I never felt the violence.
none of my friends whom i've asked have ever been hit by their parents. zero. to me, the idea of beating your own child because you fail to get your point across otherwise seems pretty fucking pathetic. violence is disgusting and kids should grow up learning not to use it, but as long as their parents do it, it's no biggie. makes me sick.
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On September 20 2014 18:15 Crushinator wrote:
I have never found any need for punishment of any kind. This bullshit about having to condition children like pigeons is just ridiculous to me, children are hardwired to see you as an authority and take your suggestions seriously. They also respond very well to relationships based on reciprocation. You give me shit, i will not be inclined to do aything fun with you. They draw on the wall, I explain that drawing is better when you do it on a piece of paper. Bedtime can be difficult, but I don't think you can punish a child to sleep. I don't know how it is when a kid has some kind of condition obviously.
I honestly don't understand what a child could possibly do to deserve being phyisically assaulted, but people will rationalize anything if it makes them feel better about their relationship with their parents and/or kids.
Maybe some kids are like what you described; I certainly wasn't, and I see MANY children who could do with a good spanking because they most DEFINITELY do not see their parents as an authority, and do not take their suggestions seriously. Not all children are made alike. I'm fairly confident your mind would change if you had any naughty, high-energy children who refuse to listen to you.
Some children will turn out just fine without spanking, but I was not one of them. I'm very thankful that I was spanked, because I was pretty naughty as a kid and would be in a lot worse situation now if I hadn't been. It is important to draw a line between beating and spanking, however. Child abuse is terrible, but punitive and loving punishment, whether timeouts or spanking or grounding or whathaveyou are generally positive influences on a child's life.
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On September 20 2014 19:26 qotsager wrote:Show nested quote +On September 20 2014 19:24 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:
Poll is a big strange, I think almost every kid in the world been spanked at least few times, but the question is about frequency of spanks, right? Personally I've been spanked few times when I was a kid, but I deserved that for sure, and still don't remember any spanking process like it was any other punishment for kids, for example a week without TV or so on, so my answer was "No".
So as a kid I never felt the violence. none of my friends whom i've asked have ever been hit by their parents. zero. to me, the idea of beating your own child because you fail to get your point across otherwise seems pretty fucking pathetic. violence is disgusting and kids should grow up learning not to use it, but as long as their parents do it, it's no biggie. makes me sick.
It's fairly telling why that is, just from looking at your respective countries of residence. I think it's safe to say that Germany and Ukraine may have some differing philosophies on child rearing.
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There's a huge difference between being beaten by a belt or a stick for misbehaving and just getting whacked for doing something stupid. Sorry, if my kid does something blatantly dangerous or stupid, I'm going to slap him in the face and I'm not going to be pleasant about it.
Actions have consequences, anyone remotely responsible understands that. If my kid starts throwing rocks at cars, I'm going to slap him for being an idiot. Being slapped isn't that painful (compare it to falling off your bike for example) and it does serve its purpose as a sharp reminder to think of the consequences of your actions.
Telling a kid to "go get the belt" though is stupid I feel. Just slap him? Using belts or sticks to leave a genuinely painful impression on the kid (e.g. hours after the spanking) is stupid and it doesn't help the kid understand what he did. If you really want to make a big impression on the kid, grounding him to his room for even a day can be pretty big already, I would think.
Well, that's what I think. I think breaking a kid's toys to make a point would be far nastier than whacking a kid though for example.
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When I discussed this once with a group of friends, it turned into quite the heated debate, until one of them said: "Beating children is horrible, and besides, spankings are wasted on kids as they can't fully appreciate the pleasure of a good, long spanking session."
Needless to say the discussion took a very interesting turn from there.
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Yes. Whenever I did something wrong and it was really bad.
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On September 20 2014 19:32 Squat wrote:Show nested quote +On September 20 2014 19:26 qotsager wrote:On September 20 2014 19:24 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:
Poll is a big strange, I think almost every kid in the world been spanked at least few times, but the question is about frequency of spanks, right? Personally I've been spanked few times when I was a kid, but I deserved that for sure, and still don't remember any spanking process like it was any other punishment for kids, for example a week without TV or so on, so my answer was "No".
So as a kid I never felt the violence. none of my friends whom i've asked have ever been hit by their parents. zero. to me, the idea of beating your own child because you fail to get your point across otherwise seems pretty fucking pathetic. violence is disgusting and kids should grow up learning not to use it, but as long as their parents do it, it's no biggie. makes me sick. It's fairly telling why that is, just from looking at your respective countries of residence. I think it's safe to say that Germany and Ukraine may have some differing philosophies on child rearing.
The irony is that i'm not acting violently, never. And few slaps on ur butt won't change a whole thing when u're a kid, right? The question is about would u ever cross the edge.
And it's not about specific country philosophy, it's very personal way of punishment for kids, some gonna choose a week TV ban for his kid, and somebody gonna slap a butt few times, and u never know which punishment will be better/worse for kid personally.
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I think the line that people in this thread draw between acceptable physical punishment and unacceptable is pretty arbitrary and easy to abuse. Incognotos and Limans posts are a good example of this.
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Never got spanked, but got my hair pulled a few times and mouth washed with soap. 
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On September 20 2014 20:02 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:Show nested quote +On September 20 2014 19:32 Squat wrote:On September 20 2014 19:26 qotsager wrote:On September 20 2014 19:24 cSc.Dav1oN wrote:
Poll is a big strange, I think almost every kid in the world been spanked at least few times, but the question is about frequency of spanks, right? Personally I've been spanked few times when I was a kid, but I deserved that for sure, and still don't remember any spanking process like it was any other punishment for kids, for example a week without TV or so on, so my answer was "No".
So as a kid I never felt the violence. none of my friends whom i've asked have ever been hit by their parents. zero. to me, the idea of beating your own child because you fail to get your point across otherwise seems pretty fucking pathetic. violence is disgusting and kids should grow up learning not to use it, but as long as their parents do it, it's no biggie. makes me sick. It's fairly telling why that is, just from looking at your respective countries of residence. I think it's safe to say that Germany and Ukraine may have some differing philosophies on child rearing. The irony is that i'm not acting violently, never. And few slaps on ur butt won't change a whole thing when u're a kid, right? The question is about would u ever cross the edge. And it's not about specific country philosophy, it's very personal way of punishment for kids, some gonna choose a week TV ban for his kid, and somebody gonna slap a butt few times, and u never know which punishment will be better/worse for kid personally.
There are absolutely arguments to be made that using physical violence as a form of punishment is objectively worse than banning them from using the internet for the weekend. Everything we know about human psychology is reducible to bio-chemistry, neurology and how it operates in the brain.
At some point, I strongly suspect it will be perfectly compatible with science to say that beating one's children is objectively bad for them, and for the parents as well.
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EPT
