EPTWere you spanked? - Page 23
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AssyrianKing
Australia2116 Posts
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Volband
Hungary6034 Posts
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Snotling
Germany885 Posts
On October 15 2014 19:23 Volband wrote: Slap is definitely needed. If someone thinks a child can be raised (roperly) without getting slapped at all... well, I'd certainly like to hear his/her arguement for it. Well I wasn't slapped even once, and I'm pretty sure it's the same for almost all of my friends. And it turned out very well for them :D. Well educated, good jobs, good relationships, well behaved. Also I'd like to point out this article frome the University of New Hampshire Correlation between spanking and IQ. It seems you actually can slap your children silly :/ http://phys.org/news173077612.html The two main findings in case of tldr. More and explanation inside the article IQs of children ages 2 to 4 who were not spanked were 5 points higher four years later than the IQs of those who were spanked. The IQs of children ages 5 to 9 years old who were not spanked were 2.8 points higher four years later than the IQs of children the same age who were spanked. Straus also found a lower national average IQ in nations in which spanking was more prevalent. His analysis indicates the strongest link between corporal punishment and IQ was for those whose parents continued to use corporal punishment even when they were teenagers. | ||
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Volband
Hungary6034 Posts
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Aikin
Austria532 Posts
On October 15 2014 19:23 Volband wrote: Slap is definitely needed. If someone thinks a child can be raised (roperly) without getting slapped at all... well, I'd certainly like to hear his/her arguement for it. Education should involve punishment but that does not have to be in the form of violence. We try to tell our kids that violence is bad and then we use it ourselfes if they do something that we don´t like? Isn´t that a contradiction? Teaching them that it is okay to hit someone who is weaker then them to get what they want? There are many other methods in my experience ranging from taking away toys, refusing to take them out to things they enjoy, doing additional housework, don´t allow them invite friends etc. My parents never hit me in any way or form and I think I turned out pretty well. | ||
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Volband
Hungary6034 Posts
On October 15 2014 20:44 Aikin wrote: Education should involve punishment but that does not have to be in the form of violence. We try to tell our kids that violence is bad and then we use it ourselfes if they do something that we don´t like? Isn´t that a contradiction? Teaching them that it is okay to hit someone who is weaker then them to get what they want? There are many other methods in my experience ranging from taking away toys, refusing to take them out to things they enjoy, doing additional housework, don´t allow them invite friends etc. My parents never hit me in any way or form and I think I turned out pretty well. Listen to yourself for a moment. You were depraved from what you enjoy, even social interactions with your FRIENDS. How is it less cruel than getting slapped in every 5 years? | ||
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calmasfok
91 Posts
On October 15 2014 21:00 Volband wrote: Listen to yourself for a moment. You were depraved from what you enjoy, even social interactions with your FRIENDS. How is it less cruel than getting slapped in every 5 years? troll? | ||
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calmasfok
91 Posts
On October 01 2014 01:23 danl9rm wrote: To be fair, you explicitly said you weren't spanked, but this sounds like a good example of how not to discipline your child - how not to "spank" your child. I and my wife spank our 2 year old, but only if she is expressing open defiance. If she spills her milk, or "tee tees" on accident, we just talk to her about it and give her encouragement. However, if I tell her to pick up her toys and she says "no," that's altogether different. I usually give her 2 or more chances, depending on the situation and depending on how defiant she has been recently, but if she keeps saying "no" or just flat out ignores us, she gets a spanking. Spanking in our household: I explain to her that what she did was wrong and that now she's getting a spanking because she didn't listen. We have a designated "tool" for the spanking. It's actually very close to an old paper towel holder with a little tape added because it started falling apart, hah. Sometimes, not always, she's upset that she's even getting a spanking and may start crying. In that case, I don't usually spank her that hard because she's already feeling the punishment and that is the whole point. After the spanking is over, I look her in the eyes and explain again what she did wrong, that she has to listen to mommy and daddy, and that's why she got a spanking. Then, I pick her up and hug her for an extended time and tell her I love her. Most times before I'm even over it myself, she's already wanting to play again, looking at me with those mischievous eyes that a child does when they want to horseplay. For anyone that may think, "Oh, you don't do that every time. Please." Yes, I do. I take disciplining my daughter very seriously because I believe I am helping her, not harming her. Her future is only made easier through our discipline, not more difficult. you make me sick and i think you shouldnt be allowed to be around children | ||
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Volband
Hungary6034 Posts
No? Unless he said he does not agree with those things either, but the way he worded, I interpreted it as that he rather do those things instead. | ||
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fronkschnonk
Germany622 Posts
It's questionable if parenting needs punishment at all. Education as a whole may need it (I can't imagine school or kindergarden without it). But I remember that for me a change in the tone and strict eyes or face were quite displeasing. One could say, that this alone was a punishment in itself, but in the narrower sense I wouldn't classify this as "punishment". @calmasfok Yeah, I was almost disgusted by that, too. To spank a 2 year old sounds fundamentally wrong. | ||
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Nyxisto
Germany6287 Posts
On October 15 2014 19:23 Volband wrote: Slap is definitely needed. If someone thinks a child can be raised (roperly) without getting slapped at all... well, I'd certainly like to hear his/her arguement for it. Because it is outlawed and virtually not practised in countries like Sweden for over 40 years now. So given the fact that Sweden is still a pretty civlized country full of apparently happy people, I'd say that's plenty of empirical evidence that you don't actually need to physically punish your children, as generations of people have already grown up without it. | ||
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Rassy
Netherlands2308 Posts
For some kids a spanking is good, for others its not. Some countrys need a lot of spanking in general and some countrys can do with less spanking. I was spanked as a child, not often btw maybe 3 or 4 times max after I did something realy bad. It did not in anyway negatively effect my life. Some childs need punishment, arguing and explaining patiently why things are bad and good works for some children but not for every child. Every situation is different. Parents who spank their kids on a weekly basis are doing something wrong though. Btw, even though that I think spanking can be ok in some situations I would nor could ever spank a child myself,not even if it would lead to good results in the end. | ||
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Snotling
Germany885 Posts
On October 16 2014 01:11 Rassy wrote: I was spanked as a child, not often btw maybe 3 or 4 times max after I did something realy bad. It did not in anyway negatively effect my life. how do you know? nobody knows how he/she would have turned out the other way (yes, i made the anecdotical evidence mistake too) the why studys like the one I quoted are so important | ||
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Millitron
United States2611 Posts
On October 16 2014 00:56 Nyxisto wrote: Because it is outlawed and virtually not practised in countries like Sweden for over 40 years now. So given the fact that Sweden is still a pretty civlized country full of apparently happy people, I'd say that's plenty of empirical evidence that you don't actually need to physically punish your children, as generations of people have already grown up without it. Something being the law doesn't mean its right. Segregation was the law from 1865 to the 1960's. Unless you'd like to argue that Rosa Parks didn't need to sit at the front of the bus. I mean, generations of people had already grown up without black people sitting at the front of the bus. On October 16 2014 01:22 Snotling wrote: how do you know? nobody knows how he/she would have turned out the other way (yes, i made the anecdotical evidence mistake too) the why studys like the one i quoted are so important The same is true of those studies then too. Maybe the people who weren't spanked would have turned out better if they had been. Maybe the ones who showed negative effects would've ended up with them anyways. These studies are nothing more than lots of anecdotal evidence. | ||
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Snotling
Germany885 Posts
On October 16 2014 01:26 Millitron wrote: Something being the law doesn't mean its right. Segregation was the law from 1865 to the 1960's. Unless you'd like to argue that Rosa Parks didn't need to sit at the front of the bus. I mean, generations of people had already grown up without black people sitting at the front of the bus. The same is true of those studies then too. Maybe the people who weren't spanked would have turned out better if they had been. Maybe the ones who showed negative effects would've ended up with them anyways. These studies are nothing more than lots of anecdotal evidence. Comparing the development of hundreds (and thousands) of people its not anecdotical evidence anymore. And even if the spanking isnt the reason for the lower iqs, the parents that spank must have something else in common that hampers the developement of their children. I mean there is a reason that the countries with the best education, are the one were corporal punishment of children is illegal. If you just ignore every study that doesnt fit your point of fiew as anecdotical evidence, there is not much point talking with you at all. (please feel free to post any cientifical evidence that spanking is beneficial to children) | ||
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Nyxisto
Germany6287 Posts
On October 16 2014 01:26 Millitron wrote: Something being the law doesn't mean its right. Segregation was the law from 1865 to the 1960's. Unless you'd like to argue that Rosa Parks didn't need to sit at the front of the bus. I mean, generations of people had already grown up without black people sitting at the front of the bus. I clearly did not argue that it is right because it is the law, but it is right because Sweden is one of the most liveable places on this planet and it has been working there for decades. It is like arguing whether a single payer healthcare system is a great idea or not. It is. Why? Because it has been employed successfully for decades. "The American way" is not a trump card over reality. | ||
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Ghostcom
Denmark4783 Posts
On October 16 2014 01:26 Millitron wrote: Something being the law doesn't mean its right. Segregation was the law from 1865 to the 1960's. Unless you'd like to argue that Rosa Parks didn't need to sit at the front of the bus. I mean, generations of people had already grown up without black people sitting at the front of the bus. The argument isn't that it is right not to spank your children because it is the law (in which case your counterargument makes plenty sense). The argument is that unlike what Volband stated, a slap isn't definitely needed as examplified by Sweden not going all to shit when spanking was outlawed. Considering that it is a nationwide example, across all social layers, it is probably safe to say that spanking isn't needed to raise children into happy and productive citizens. I personally don't buy the cultural argument that has been raised. Sweden (and Denmark/Norway) had a culture of physical punishment before outlawing it. If it was possible for these countries to go from physical punishment to no physical punishment it should be possible for other countries as well. | ||
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Millitron
United States2611 Posts
On October 16 2014 01:41 Nyxisto wrote: I clearly did not argue that it is right because it is the law, but it is right because Sweden is one of the most liveable places on this planet and it has been working there for decades. It is like arguing whether a single payer healthcare system is a great idea or not. It is. Why? Because it has been employed successfully for decades. "The American way" is not a trump card over reality. And America was one of the most liveable places on the planet, and had been for decades when Segregation was in its prime. Sweden being good has nothing to do with spanking or the lack thereof. | ||
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Nyxisto
Germany6287 Posts
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Snotling
Germany885 Posts
On October 16 2014 01:47 Millitron wrote: And America was one of the most liveable places on the planet, and had been for decades when Segregation was in its prime. Sweden being good has nothing to do with spanking or the lack thereof. that must be one of the stupidest things i have ever read on the internet..... please rethink that^^ | ||
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