|
We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
To the dude with the quiet weird chick--don't think. Just do.
I used to be dreadfully, like...paralysis incapable of talking to girls. Don't think about it, thinking about it makes you nervous and you start outlining conversation paths in your head about how saying what will provoke what response and you get caught up in it. It never plays out like you think it will, ever.
Just do it. And be a fucking man about it too, explicitly state your intentions. You want to date her, you say that shit. Man confidence. Man confident as fuck.
You're a baller mother fucker, and you can do this shit because it's whatever. Coffee sounds good, does she even like coffee? Fuck that she does now. If she does, just be like, "Hey, you wanna go on a date? Like grab coffee or something?" And you go do that shit. And you know what you talk about? Whatever the fuck, just say shit, say anything, ask about everything, notice shit about her, ask about it. And be confident as fuck.
Your mental image should be of a Big Monkey. Team Liquid doesn't know about Big Monkey yet but it's a way of fucking life. Imagine if you were a silverback gorilla. Would you even give a shit? No. You're a big fucking monkey. You do big monkey shit. Monkeys are chill as fuck. And confident as fuck. So you should be too. Because there's no reason not to be. There is 100% no imaginable reason to ever doubt anything you do, especially not when you're a fucking gorilla. They don't think about that shit.
The first word, when you're like that, is harder than any other. Just start talking, if she rejects you it's whatever. You tried. You can't make her say yes and her saying no would have happened no matter what, and you know what? Knowing is a fuckton better than not knowing.
Anyways, back to my shit.
So I joined an online dating site, Match.com, going to try that out. First day on it someone sent me something which was pretty cool, I dunno, we'll see what happens.
Currently I'm not in a position to really hit up bars or clubs, A: I fucking hate clubs, and B: I'm not within reasonable walking distance of a bar that younger people go to. A friend still in college hosts a lot of parties though, so I go to those whenever I can.
Man-mode as fuck. I want a girlfriend, doing everything available to me to get one. Shit I'm even working out a lot, which consequently makes me feel fuckin super baller.
*EDIT* And by the way TeamLiquid, you're welcome. You're allowed to use Big Monkey now. There's other applications of it but this is how it applies to dating. It impacts all aspects of life and embracing it makes you universally badass.
|
Worst date ever(little over 1 year ago):
Made reservations for an upscale restaurant for 6:45. Arrived at the restaurant at 6:40. My reservation was lost. Joy. Had to wait about 45 minutes to finally be seated. It wasn't that bad at this point, it made good conversation seeing as that we were both in the restaurant industry.
We finally eat and enjoy our meal. She suggests we go to a bar down the street. I feel pretty good since she is obviously interested in hanging out more. I take her up on the offer and we walk about 1/4 mile and get to a nice little piano bar. We have a couple drinks and chat it up. Everything is going swell. Midnight rolls around and we decide to call it a night and I ask for the check. Pass my debit card to the waitress and she comes back and says it is declined. I knew for a fact that there was more than enough to cover the tab. I ask her politely to try it again. Declined. I explain to the waitress that it is impossible for it to be declined and ask if they have an ATM machine. She says they don't have an ATM but luckily there is a bank on the corner with a walk up ATM. So I ask my date to hang tight while I run down the street and get money out.
ATM machine out of order.
I pull out my phone and find out that my bank has an ATM machine two blocks away. I make my way and finally get the money out and return about 30 minutes later and apologize profusely. I can tell she is a bit annoyed, but understanding. We pay our tab and we head to my car. We get in the car and I put my key in the ignition and turn. Nothing. Turn again. Nothing. Battery dead. You must be fucking kidding me. Luckily I have cables, but everyone I approach just shrugs me off and doesn't offer to help. After about 30 minutes I finally get a kind soul to give me a jump.
Driving her home was the most awkward thing ever. Literally everything that could have gone wrong, did. Lost reservation, rejected card, dead battery. Ugh. I tried to make light of it and joke about it but she had nothing of it.
I laugh about it now, but man that night was brutal!
|
Spoilered your post vgijamven:
+ Show Spoiler +On February 01 2013 07:05 vgijamven wrote:+ Show Spoiler +On January 28 2013 19:16 Deimos0 wrote:
Frankly, I've had problems like you. Now I think you shouldn't go all in with your confessions. Especially if you feel she's not interested in you. There always (well maybe not 100% always) are some signals that a girl likes you more than anyone. If she's dating someone and she didn't give you anything to think about then unfortunately I think you should let her go. I know it's not optimistic scenario, but judging from my own experience, it's pointless to let yourself get hurt over a woman, who's not going to share your feelings. You gained some experience, use it to find someone worth your efforts.
On January 28 2013 21:37 ulfryc wrote:
Don't confess, that's almost never the right move. Just ask her out for a date, if you want you can do it super romantically at valentines day or something.
On January 28 2013 23:57 weareallclowns wrote:
The Approach
The "don't confess, wait till she's in love with you" approach won't work. Ask her out on a date, but don't be like "I have been in love with you for so long...", that'll just scare her off probably, you should try to be more chilled (though that might be hard) and say something like: "Do you have plans for tonight? Cause I was wondering if you wanted to grab a coffee?"
A movie might be too much, also you won't talk much with each other, and you might end up just saying goodbye outside the theatre. A restaurant can be fine, though don't go to the most expensive one. A cosy one with good food you know of is probably best.
Girls are aware that it can be hard asking the opposite sex out on dates, and she will appreciate it if you show that you "got some balls" and just ask her.
Her "date" can be a lot of things. If you don't ask her out and find out, you won't know, basically.
If she says she already has a boyfriend, at least you found out, and it'll be a lot easier to move on and still be friends if you keep it chilled. Imagine if a girl spilt her guts to you and you had to reject her because you didn't feel the same way, how hard it would be to keep being friends afterwards.
The Date
This is a place for you to find out more about each other, so you need to ask her questions about her, just as she is going to ask you questions about you.
Be confident, or at least act like you are.
Don't agree with her on everything just because it's her, be honest and say your opinions as you would to a friend.
And lastly, be yourself, don't act cool, girls don't like fake cool guys. (not saying you aren't cool, hehe, but you get what I'm saying)
I got many of these advices from girls myself, so that's my reference. On January 29 2013 04:51 matthewfoulkes wrote:
seconded so hard, just please please don't go the 'confess' route, the whole idea of confessing makes it sound like being sexually attracted to someone is wrong......, it might be quite out of character but just say something to her, by the sounds of it you don't know her that much and your proclamations of love might be exaggerations....just do something about just ring her up or ask if she wants to hang out after a class or some shit, its not that hard honestly, you have to find that killer instinct inside yourself and just pull the trigger and shoot, shoot enough times and you'll hit. On January 29 2013 05:40 KO_SharpMind wrote:
I'm a major lurker on these forums but I had to reply to you.
I used to be in a situation, that you could say was sort of similar to the one that you are talking about. There was this girl, my current gf now, that I really liked. We went to the same high school and for 3 years I did nothing, and then finally one day I started talking to her, and eventually asked her out on a date, and for the past 2 and a half years we've had plenty of more amazing dates.
During one of your skype conversations just ask her out. It doesn't need to be anything big, or special. A movie and a dinner, or an activity that you both enjoy doing. If you really like her as much as you say, then through your actions when you are out with her she will see how much you really like her. You normally don't need to tell someone you like them, your actions and behavior when you are with them is, in most cases, enough. Through the time what you spend together you will also be able to tell how she feels about you.
You could also just tell her that you like her and ask her out. But don't make it seem like a confession, as someone said above. That can at times turn a girl off. Just be friendly, and most of all BE YOURSELF, things will work out. On January 29 2013 06:53 Alryk wrote:
Personally I'd disagree with asking her out on skype. Not for the first date (for later ones; sure). It is definitely an excuse to not be face to face, and it kind of kills the whole confidence vibe you're trying to put out. Be man enough to ask her to her face - if she declines a cup of coffee and you're friends, she's weird. On January 29 2013 09:29 Dosey wrote:
So... You've been talking to this girl for a while and haven't even found out for sure if she's single or not? That's usually one of the first three topics of discussion when talking to a female you are interested in (unless at a club/bar, because you don't want to know then). I'm afraid you don't even know enough about this girl to be in love with her, hell, I don't even believe you know what "love" is. What this sounds like is a case of infatuation with her because she's actually given you the time of day.
That said, just ask her out. The worst she can say is no. Skype, text, in person, whatever. If she's more talkative on Skype, that's your best bet because maybe she has the same problem as you in person. This "man" shit some of these guys are spouting is nonsense. If a girl likes you, they don't give a fuck how you ask them out. If she's so superficial as to say "Oh, he didn't ask me out in person. He's not MAN enough for me!" then maybe she isn't for you...? On January 29 2013 09:42 Alryk wrote:
I might have exaggerated the "bad" part of asking her out on skype, but you're underexaggerating it... having the balls to ask somebody in person is always much better than sending them a message where you can crawl into a corner if you get rejected. If we're spouting about how confidence attracts women, starting a relationship in a way that give you a "get away from the conversation free" card isn't the best way to do it.
Either confidence attracts women, or it doesn't. If it does, then you should be as confident as possible from the get go - i.e. talk to her face to face. Now, if for some reason you both absolutely fail at human conversation, then people go to skype sometimes. But generally, face to face is considered better.
Although I do agree that it is infatuation. It's pretty hard to go from never having dated somebody to totally in love that quickly imo. On January 29 2013 10:06 Dosey wrote:
The way he described her and the way she talks to him on skype/in person. Skype is absolutely his best bet. If he gets her where they are both uncomfortable, it creates the least favorable situation for the both of them. Asking a girl out isn't just about confidence. It's about being able to read the situations properly and executing your objective based on your reads. Much like sales. On January 29 2013 10:27 Najda wrote:
I feel like it would just create an even worse in-person situation though because as far as I can tell they've never had any meaningful contact in person which would make the first date really awkward. On January 29 2013 10:50 Alryk wrote:
But if he can't ask her out on person, how is he supposed to go on a full-out date in person? Even if it's something as simple as coffee 1 on 1. He's going to have to face her in person sooner or later, and if he can't ask her out like that, it will just make for an awkward date.
On January 29 2013 11:21 phosphorylation wrote:
askign her skype or face to face, you guys are fussing over a small detail. that he actually goes on a date with her is far more important -- and of course, how he handles himself on that occasion. if he acts alright during the date, shes not going to remember how he asked her at all... and if he screws up, he never had a chance to begin with... On January 29 2013 11:25 Alryk wrote:
As true as that is, isn't asking her face to face, a good way to get over the first "hump" of having a moderately meaningful conversation, considering it would be weird to just ask out of the blue, so they'll probably having been chatting for a few minutes (face or skype).
I mean he's right, to whoever this is adressed towards. If you ask her out on skype and have a great date, it doesn't matter. But if you think you have trouble talking to her face to face, just remember that a date is only that. and more...First off I would like to give you all a big THANK YOU for all the replies, serious or not. I never imagined getting this much response on my petty situation. I've read everything through once and I will probably read through it all a couple of times more before this is all over. Sorry for not responding to the replies - I've been drowning in school work and deadlines as a course was coming to an end this week. I guess I won't go with the full-blown emotional confession I was planning then for Valentine's day. Thanks for that feedback. Most discussion have been on HOW i ask her out. Frankly, I would very much prefer to ask her out in person of course, but seeing as she haven't been in school during the whole January, I can't really be picky about this too much I feel. I haven't seen her since 21st of December when I gave her a Christmas present (official reason for this was that she helped me a lot with finding a place for me to do my internship - which is true, but not the real reason). She said it was very unexpected but she seemed relatively happy about it and accepted it. Opinions have differed on whether I should ask her out as for a hanging out or as a date. Honestly, I don't know, and your discussions have valid points on both sides. Spontaneously, I feel like the dinner or coffee approach are the best, but I have no clue whether the former should be as a date or as two friends eating a dinner together. As someone said, we've barely had a good face-to-face conversation, and I want to try and have good talks with her, but it's not easy when she's never in school. (Ask her out? :D) She has said that she doesn't really like going to the cinemas (weird?), so I guess that's out of the question. But she has said that she instead prefers "home cinema" with a big TV and surround sound and whatnot. In a month I am moving out from my parents to my own place, so maybe asking her to come over to watch a movie could be a possible path? Responding to the "talking to her for months and still doesnt know if she has a boyfriend" person - She is sort of a mysterious person in general. My inability to properly talk to women doesn't help in this. I'm also getting the feeling that she is a bit evasive when it comes to personal questions, so I've been hesitant to ask her clearly about what she really means with "her date". I don't want to seem nosy or rude. But maybe I'm being too careful about this? Fair enough, straight and honest answers about this would help me reach a conclusion on what to do a lot easier. I also read a response claiming I don't know what love is. That may very well be so, but if this feeling I've had in my chest and stomach for 2 months now isn't love, then I don't know what it is. I do feel like I know her a bit at least - I know a lot of her likes and dislikes and some of her views on life, so it's not as she's still a total stranger to me. That being said, I do admit I feel very pathetic for falling in love with both my two first female friends I've ever made (not including a good friend's girlfriend with whom I speak to a few times per year). So maybe my emotions are over-exaggerated or blown up beyond reasonable proportions. But it still doesn't change my feelings as they are right now.
If you want to ask her out in person, definitely do it. Then again, if there's no chance of seeing her anytime soon, and you want to sert up something for her to look forward to or something, that's fine.
Movie at a house or home theater would be a good idea imo, especially if she's said she enjoys it. You could do a light lunch or something (basically meet in the middle of the day) and go back to your? place afterwards and watch a movie. One thing about movie dates (at theaters, not at home) is that there isn't much conversation, obviously, so usually you should include something before or after, especially if you're just starting to date. Once you've been dating for a while it's not as big of a deal though.
|
Any good lines or approaches I could use to talk to girls at a concert I'm going to tomorrow night?
I've had 1 relationship, I'm 22. It lasted for little over 2yrs and ended about 1.5yrs ago and I haven't had any real luck with girls since then, been on 2 dates with girls I met through work/other friends but nothing came of it. Had a 1night stand with a girl I'm friends with but thats it. Love to meet a girl but I don't frequent bars or anything and I don't have alot of shots at meeting new people.
I'm not worried about keeping a conversation going or trying to act like anyone I'm not, I'm fairly confident in myself and pretty laid back and chill.
Just never done anything in a club, bar, concert place before and don't know how I should best go about it tomorrow for hopefully a good result lol.
|
On February 01 2013 09:58 Siffer wrote:
Worst date ever(little over 1 year ago):
Made reservations for an upscale restaurant for 6:45. Arrived at the restaurant at 6:40. My reservation was lost. Joy. Had to wait about 45 minutes to finally be seated. It wasn't that bad at this point, it made good conversation seeing as that we were both in the restaurant industry.
We finally eat and enjoy our meal. She suggests we go to a bar down the street. I feel pretty good since she is obviously interested in hanging out more. I take her up on the offer and we walk about 1/4 mile and get to a nice little piano bar. We have a couple drinks and chat it up. Everything is going swell. Midnight rolls around and we decide to call it a night and I ask for the check. Pass my debit card to the waitress and she comes back and says it is declined. I knew for a fact that there was more than enough to cover the tab. I ask her politely to try it again. Declined. I explain to the waitress that it is impossible for it to be declined and ask if they have an ATM machine. She says they don't have an ATM but luckily there is a bank on the corner with a walk up ATM. So I ask my date to hang tight while I run down the street and get money out.
ATM machine out of order.
I pull out my phone and find out that my bank has an ATM machine two blocks away. I make my way and finally get the money out and return about 30 minutes later and apologize profusely. I can tell she is a bit annoyed, but understanding. We pay our tab and we head to my car. We get in the car and I put my key in the ignition and turn. Nothing. Turn again. Nothing. Battery dead. You must be fucking kidding me. Luckily I have cables, but everyone I approach just shrugs me off and doesn't offer to help. After about 30 minutes I finally get a kind soul to give me a jump.
Driving her home was the most awkward thing ever. Literally everything that could have gone wrong, did. Lost reservation, rejected card, dead battery. Ugh. I tried to make light of it and joke about it but she had nothing of it.
I laugh about it now, but man that night was brutal!
Haha wow that's quite the night, I'm surprised nothing caught fire or you didn't get lost on the way back.
At least you got an awesome story out of it.
|
Had a dessert today with a girl from dating website. First dating in a long time. Kind of fast though. We started talking like 3 days ago and she asked me yesterday to meet (we met today)
We pretty much only discussed. She just broke out with her BF (the same day). I'm surprised she's already trying to find a new one. Overall, we share some similarities. On the political/philosophical level though, we share some differences, nothing major though.
The age difference is 7, she's 18 and I'm 25. She claims it doesn't botter her and that she is looking for someone mature.
Overall, I think it went well. I resisted to the urge of reading some dating tips beforehand. So I was just natural, not even acting like a potential GF. I acted like I would with someone who wanted to talk with me.
End : hug, and she wants us to keep talking.
To be continued...
|
On February 01 2013 11:06 Zooper31 wrote:
Any good lines or approaches I could use to talk to girls at a concert I'm going to tomorrow night?
I've had 1 relationship, I'm 22. It lasted for little over 2yrs and ended about 1.5yrs ago and I haven't had any real luck with girls since then, been on 2 dates with girls I met through work/other friends but nothing came of it. Had a 1night stand with a girl I'm friends with but thats it. Love to meet a girl but I don't frequent bars or anything and I don't have alot of shots at meeting new people.
I'm not worried about keeping a conversation going or trying to act like anyone I'm not, I'm fairly confident in myself and pretty laid back and chill.
Just never done anything in a club, bar, concert place before and don't know how I should best go about it tomorrow for hopefully a good result lol.
The Universal Opener: "Hi." To put it another way, focus less on what you say and more on how you say it. Since you know how to carry a conversation, just let that flow naturally. As for the rest:
Pay attention to your own body language; present yourself with a strong posture and carry yourself like a man with confidence. If you're not sure how this looks like on you, walk in front of a mirror, close your eyes, and imagine that you are the leader, champion, and protector of your tribe. Open your eyes, and memorize what that looks like, and try to present yourself that way in general.
Touch her. Use every excuse possible to make body contact and give her a chance to become comfortable with you. Shake her hand (or better yet, hug her) after you introduce yourselves, high-five her (and hold it just a half second longer than you would if it were a dude) when you give her props for something, put your hand on the small of her back to guide her through a crowd, gently pull her closer by the waist so she can speak into your ear due to the loudness of the concert, etc.
|
On February 01 2013 11:06 Zooper31 wrote:
Any good lines or approaches I could use to talk to girls at a concert I'm going to tomorrow night?
I've had 1 relationship, I'm 22. It lasted for little over 2yrs and ended about 1.5yrs ago and I haven't had any real luck with girls since then, been on 2 dates with girls I met through work/other friends but nothing came of it. Had a 1night stand with a girl I'm friends with but thats it. Love to meet a girl but I don't frequent bars or anything and I don't have alot of shots at meeting new people.
I'm not worried about keeping a conversation going or trying to act like anyone I'm not, I'm fairly confident in myself and pretty laid back and chill.
Just never done anything in a club, bar, concert place before and don't know how I should best go about it tomorrow for hopefully a good result lol.
I read this and was like wtf this kid sounds like me. But then I realized I was 23 and not 22 -_-.
Yea just listen to what sunprince said, idk about the whole high five thing though lol.
I'm kinda in the same boat as you, twoish years ag broke up with my gf of 3+ years, have been on dates with 2-3 girls, nothing came of those. Went to my friends Wedding, ended up taking the Maid of Honor home(She was not happy[bride/myfriend]). Later went to this girls place and spent the weekend there. Then about a week later she stopped talking to me. Now I'm currently talking to another girl I met at the wedding(was in October). We have quite a bit in common, she's slightly older, but she's really nice and is really easy to talk to, only problem is she lives 2 hours away. I'm also almost done with College(like 1 1/2 semesters left including this one) so I don't even see the point starting a relationship with someone around here since I don't even want to live in Kent when I graduate. And this has led to me being kind of a recluse when I'm in Kent, but I'm far far more active and outgoing when I'm out with friends away from school.
So what I'm essentially getting at is I'm interested in this girl who's 2 hours away but she's also friends with the chick I was with after the wedding(live in close proximity). Meaning getting close with her means I have to possibly see the other one, which really isn't on my list of things to do.
....OK I started writing this and suddenly realized I'm insecure about what this chick thinks about me because of what her friend has done with me. Fuck that. I'll ask her out, Idc she lives two hours away so what if it doesn't work out.
|
On February 01 2013 13:08 XenOmega wrote:
Had a dessert today with a girl from dating website. First dating in a long time. Kind of fast though. We started talking like 3 days ago and she asked me yesterday to meet (we met today)
We pretty much only discussed. She just broke out with her BF (the same day). I'm surprised she's already trying to find a new one. Overall, we share some similarities. On the political/philosophical level though, we share some differences, nothing major though.
The age difference is 7, she's 18 and I'm 25. She claims it doesn't botter her and that she is looking for someone mature.
Overall, I think it went well. I resisted to the urge of reading some dating tips beforehand. So I was just natural, not even acting like a potential GF. I acted like I would with someone who wanted to talk with me.
End : hug, and she wants us to keep talking.
To be continued...
Hey, I just joined one of those sites (match.com)--what do you usually send to girls you're interested in? Just like a "Hey what's up?" sort of thing? I don't want to seem like a creeper haha.
And she's way too young for you dude. She's just starting college, at 25, you should at least be looking for a girl you can go to the bar with. She's going to be looking at you more like her dad or an older brother at that point.
|
On February 01 2013 22:39 Kich wrote:Show nested quote +On February 01 2013 13:08 XenOmega wrote:
Had a dessert today with a girl from dating website. First dating in a long time. Kind of fast though. We started talking like 3 days ago and she asked me yesterday to meet (we met today)
We pretty much only discussed. She just broke out with her BF (the same day). I'm surprised she's already trying to find a new one. Overall, we share some similarities. On the political/philosophical level though, we share some differences, nothing major though.
The age difference is 7, she's 18 and I'm 25. She claims it doesn't botter her and that she is looking for someone mature.
Overall, I think it went well. I resisted to the urge of reading some dating tips beforehand. So I was just natural, not even acting like a potential GF. I acted like I would with someone who wanted to talk with me.
End : hug, and she wants us to keep talking.
To be continued... Hey, I just joined one of those sites (match.com)--what do you usually send to girls you're interested in? Just like a "Hey what's up?" sort of thing? I don't want to seem like a creeper haha. And she's way too young for you dude. She's just starting college, at 25, you should at least be looking for a girl you can go to the bar with. She's going to be looking at you more like her dad or an older brother at that point.
that is really a good question, and I really don't know if my approach is good -.-
I will usually write something depending on her description. For example, if she says she likes movies, well I will write a message and will also talk about movies (IE : have you watched this movie, it is really good).
I know that some people will write stuff like : "Hey beautiful, you look sexy, let's talk". But that's just not me
|
On January 30 2013 14:59 Sitinte wrote:Show nested quote +On January 30 2013 12:10 Zooper31 wrote:
If you can hang around the girl without getting attached or expecting things to change, then do it. Otherwise it's best to cut connections. Show nested quote +On January 30 2013 12:47 Dosey wrote:
No problem with remaining friends with the girl. If something forms from that, fine, if not, you still have a friend. No one can ever have too many friends. It all just depends on whether or not you are capable of doing that without getting attached and being weird. Yeah, I'm not worried about getting weird and creepy around her or expecting things to change. I'm just doing my own thing and if she's there, she's there. I've already accepted that pretty quickly and I should be fully over it once I sleep it off. But it's weird how life throws curveballs at you. Two hours after being rejected, a girl gave me her number and asked me out to dinner later this week. Personally not interested at the moment after what happened tonight but we'll see what happens.
Do these two girls know each other?
|
On February 01 2013 13:33 sunprince wrote:Show nested quote +On February 01 2013 11:06 Zooper31 wrote:
Any good lines or approaches I could use to talk to girls at a concert I'm going to tomorrow night?
I've had 1 relationship, I'm 22. It lasted for little over 2yrs and ended about 1.5yrs ago and I haven't had any real luck with girls since then, been on 2 dates with girls I met through work/other friends but nothing came of it. Had a 1night stand with a girl I'm friends with but thats it. Love to meet a girl but I don't frequent bars or anything and I don't have alot of shots at meeting new people.
I'm not worried about keeping a conversation going or trying to act like anyone I'm not, I'm fairly confident in myself and pretty laid back and chill.
Just never done anything in a club, bar, concert place before and don't know how I should best go about it tomorrow for hopefully a good result lol. The Universal Opener: "Hi." To put it another way, focus less on what you say and more on how you say it. Since you know how to carry a conversation, just let that flow naturally. As for the rest: Pay attention to your own body language; present yourself with a strong posture and carry yourself like a man with confidence. If you're not sure how this looks like on you, walk in front of a mirror, close your eyes, and imagine that you are the leader, champion, and protector of your tribe. Open your eyes, and memorize what that looks like, and try to present yourself that way in general. Touch her. Use every excuse possible to make body contact and give her a chance to become comfortable with you. Shake her hand (or better yet, hug her) after you introduce yourselves, high-five her (and hold it just a half second longer than you would if it were a dude) when you give her props for something, put your hand on the small of her back to guide her through a crowd, gently pull her closer by the waist so she can speak into your ear due to the loudness of the concert, etc.
Sounds like good advice on the whole, Ill just add never forget that if you have a girl out on a date the hardest bit is already taken care of, be yourself, try to relax and make sure that if and when you enjoy her company - you let her know. If you can mix being direct but polite/complimentary, confident and relaxed - you'll soon know if shes into you - happy hunting
|
On February 01 2013 22:39 Kich wrote:Show nested quote +On February 01 2013 13:08 XenOmega wrote:
Had a dessert today with a girl from dating website. First dating in a long time. Kind of fast though. We started talking like 3 days ago and she asked me yesterday to meet (we met today)
We pretty much only discussed. She just broke out with her BF (the same day). I'm surprised she's already trying to find a new one. Overall, we share some similarities. On the political/philosophical level though, we share some differences, nothing major though.
The age difference is 7, she's 18 and I'm 25. She claims it doesn't botter her and that she is looking for someone mature.
Overall, I think it went well. I resisted to the urge of reading some dating tips beforehand. So I was just natural, not even acting like a potential GF. I acted like I would with someone who wanted to talk with me.
End : hug, and she wants us to keep talking.
To be continued... Hey, I just joined one of those sites (match.com)--what do you usually send to girls you're interested in? Just like a "Hey what's up?" sort of thing? I don't want to seem like a creeper haha. And she's way too young for you dude. She's just starting college, at 25, you should at least be looking for a girl you can go to the bar with. She's going to be looking at you more like her dad or an older brother at that point.
I don't know about "way too young" but yeah, it's pushing it a bit. I think the "standard norm" is 7 + half your age = 19 if you're 24. 18 and 25 in my opinion is pushing it, since she's so young, although I have a friend who's 27 dating a 21 year old. It's just still a little much imo, but if you too really connect I wouldn't worry about it. Personally I wouldn't do it, but every situation is different.
|
On February 02 2013 14:14 Alryk wrote:Show nested quote +On February 01 2013 22:39 Kich wrote:On February 01 2013 13:08 XenOmega wrote:
Had a dessert today with a girl from dating website. First dating in a long time. Kind of fast though. We started talking like 3 days ago and she asked me yesterday to meet (we met today)
We pretty much only discussed. She just broke out with her BF (the same day). I'm surprised she's already trying to find a new one. Overall, we share some similarities. On the political/philosophical level though, we share some differences, nothing major though.
The age difference is 7, she's 18 and I'm 25. She claims it doesn't botter her and that she is looking for someone mature.
Overall, I think it went well. I resisted to the urge of reading some dating tips beforehand. So I was just natural, not even acting like a potential GF. I acted like I would with someone who wanted to talk with me.
End : hug, and she wants us to keep talking.
To be continued... Hey, I just joined one of those sites (match.com)--what do you usually send to girls you're interested in? Just like a "Hey what's up?" sort of thing? I don't want to seem like a creeper haha. And she's way too young for you dude. She's just starting college, at 25, you should at least be looking for a girl you can go to the bar with. She's going to be looking at you more like her dad or an older brother at that point. I don't know about "way too young" but yeah, it's pushing it a bit. I think the "standard norm" is 7 + half your age = 19 if you're 24. 18 and 25 in my opinion is pushing it, since she's so young, although I have a friend who's 27 dating a 21 year old. It's just still a little much imo, but if you too really connect I wouldn't worry about it. Personally I wouldn't do it, but every situation is different.
I don't think that's the standard, it's just what XKCD chose to make a joke about the available dating pool.
25 to 18 is a big gap. Not just because of the number but because of the phases in your life. She is either a senior in highschool or about/just started college while typically at 25 you've already finished college. It might be okay between you and her, but would you really want to go to freshman parties and hang out with a bunch of <20 yo kids?
|
On February 02 2013 14:28 Najda wrote:Show nested quote +On February 02 2013 14:14 Alryk wrote:On February 01 2013 22:39 Kich wrote:On February 01 2013 13:08 XenOmega wrote:
Had a dessert today with a girl from dating website. First dating in a long time. Kind of fast though. We started talking like 3 days ago and she asked me yesterday to meet (we met today)
We pretty much only discussed. She just broke out with her BF (the same day). I'm surprised she's already trying to find a new one. Overall, we share some similarities. On the political/philosophical level though, we share some differences, nothing major though.
The age difference is 7, she's 18 and I'm 25. She claims it doesn't botter her and that she is looking for someone mature.
Overall, I think it went well. I resisted to the urge of reading some dating tips beforehand. So I was just natural, not even acting like a potential GF. I acted like I would with someone who wanted to talk with me.
End : hug, and she wants us to keep talking.
To be continued... Hey, I just joined one of those sites (match.com)--what do you usually send to girls you're interested in? Just like a "Hey what's up?" sort of thing? I don't want to seem like a creeper haha. And she's way too young for you dude. She's just starting college, at 25, you should at least be looking for a girl you can go to the bar with. She's going to be looking at you more like her dad or an older brother at that point. I don't know about "way too young" but yeah, it's pushing it a bit. I think the "standard norm" is 7 + half your age = 19 if you're 24. 18 and 25 in my opinion is pushing it, since she's so young, although I have a friend who's 27 dating a 21 year old. It's just still a little much imo, but if you too really connect I wouldn't worry about it. Personally I wouldn't do it, but every situation is different. I don't think that's the standard, it's just what XKCD chose to make a joke about the available dating pool. 25 to 18 is a big gap. Not just because of the number but because of the phases in your life. She is either a senior in highschool or about/just started college while typically at 25 you've already finished college. It might be okay between you and her, but would you really want to go to freshman parties and hang out with a bunch of <20 yo kids?
It's not the standard, it's just a nice way of saying "It's fine to date people way older or younger than you once you're old enough."
25 dating 18 is not normal. In terms of maturity and development you might as well be 40, you're 22 years older than she is. I'm 23, I'd never date anyone younger than 20 and even 20 is pushing it--I'm in a career now, I'd rather be meeting people who are also into a career. I want to be able to go out to a bar with them.
|
On February 01 2013 22:39 Kich wrote:Show nested quote +On February 01 2013 13:08 XenOmega wrote:
Had a dessert today with a girl from dating website. First dating in a long time. Kind of fast though. We started talking like 3 days ago and she asked me yesterday to meet (we met today)
We pretty much only discussed. She just broke out with her BF (the same day). I'm surprised she's already trying to find a new one. Overall, we share some similarities. On the political/philosophical level though, we share some differences, nothing major though.
The age difference is 7, she's 18 and I'm 25. She claims it doesn't botter her and that she is looking for someone mature.
Overall, I think it went well. I resisted to the urge of reading some dating tips beforehand. So I was just natural, not even acting like a potential GF. I acted like I would with someone who wanted to talk with me.
End : hug, and she wants us to keep talking.
To be continued... Hey, I just joined one of those sites (match.com)--what do you usually send to girls you're interested in? Just like a "Hey what's up?" sort of thing? I don't want to seem like a creeper haha. And she's way too young for you dude. She's just starting college, at 25, you should at least be looking for a girl you can go to the bar with. She's going to be looking at you more like her dad or an older brother at that point.
I was like, 'What? They can both go to a bar together', then I remembered: straya, mate.
|
On February 02 2013 14:38 Kich wrote:Show nested quote +On February 02 2013 14:28 Najda wrote:On February 02 2013 14:14 Alryk wrote:On February 01 2013 22:39 Kich wrote:On February 01 2013 13:08 XenOmega wrote:
Had a dessert today with a girl from dating website. First dating in a long time. Kind of fast though. We started talking like 3 days ago and she asked me yesterday to meet (we met today)
We pretty much only discussed. She just broke out with her BF (the same day). I'm surprised she's already trying to find a new one. Overall, we share some similarities. On the political/philosophical level though, we share some differences, nothing major though.
The age difference is 7, she's 18 and I'm 25. She claims it doesn't botter her and that she is looking for someone mature.
Overall, I think it went well. I resisted to the urge of reading some dating tips beforehand. So I was just natural, not even acting like a potential GF. I acted like I would with someone who wanted to talk with me.
End : hug, and she wants us to keep talking.
To be continued... Hey, I just joined one of those sites (match.com)--what do you usually send to girls you're interested in? Just like a "Hey what's up?" sort of thing? I don't want to seem like a creeper haha. And she's way too young for you dude. She's just starting college, at 25, you should at least be looking for a girl you can go to the bar with. She's going to be looking at you more like her dad or an older brother at that point. I don't know about "way too young" but yeah, it's pushing it a bit. I think the "standard norm" is 7 + half your age = 19 if you're 24. 18 and 25 in my opinion is pushing it, since she's so young, although I have a friend who's 27 dating a 21 year old. It's just still a little much imo, but if you too really connect I wouldn't worry about it. Personally I wouldn't do it, but every situation is different. I don't think that's the standard, it's just what XKCD chose to make a joke about the available dating pool. 25 to 18 is a big gap. Not just because of the number but because of the phases in your life. She is either a senior in highschool or about/just started college while typically at 25 you've already finished college. It might be okay between you and her, but would you really want to go to freshman parties and hang out with a bunch of <20 yo kids? It's not the standard, it's just a nice way of saying "It's fine to date people way older or younger than you once you're old enough." 25 dating 18 is not normal. In terms of maturity and development you might as well be 40, you're 22 years older than she is. I'm 23, I'd never date anyone younger than 20 and even 20 is pushing it--I'm in a career now, I'd rather be meeting people who are also into a career. I want to be able to go out to a bar with them.
This is what I was referring to  whether or not you choose to believe it, it's currently the social norm I guess. It's the generic rule that seems to be used, with a nice example point being a 24 year old dating a 19 year old (that's where 5+ years becomes 'ok')
|
On February 01 2013 15:37 Shotcoder wrote:Show nested quote +On February 01 2013 11:06 Zooper31 wrote:
Any good lines or approaches I could use to talk to girls at a concert I'm going to tomorrow night?
I've had 1 relationship, I'm 22. It lasted for little over 2yrs and ended about 1.5yrs ago and I haven't had any real luck with girls since then, been on 2 dates with girls I met through work/other friends but nothing came of it. Had a 1night stand with a girl I'm friends with but thats it. Love to meet a girl but I don't frequent bars or anything and I don't have alot of shots at meeting new people.
I'm not worried about keeping a conversation going or trying to act like anyone I'm not, I'm fairly confident in myself and pretty laid back and chill.
Just never done anything in a club, bar, concert place before and don't know how I should best go about it tomorrow for hopefully a good result lol. I read this and was like wtf this kid sounds like me. But then I realized I was 23 and not 22 -_-. Yea just listen to what sunprince said, idk about the whole high five thing though lol. I'm kinda in the same boat as you, twoish years ag broke up with my gf of 3+ years, have been on dates with 2-3 girls, nothing came of those. Went to my friends Wedding, ended up taking the Maid of Honor home(She was not happy[bride/myfriend]). Later went to this girls place and spent the weekend there. Then about a week later she stopped talking to me. Now I'm currently talking to another girl I met at the wedding(was in October). We have quite a bit in common, she's slightly older, but she's really nice and is really easy to talk to, only problem is she lives 2 hours away. I'm also almost done with College(like 1 1/2 semesters left including this one) so I don't even see the point starting a relationship with someone around here since I don't even want to live in Kent when I graduate. And this has led to me being kind of a recluse when I'm in Kent, but I'm far far more active and outgoing when I'm out with friends away from school. So what I'm essentially getting at is I'm interested in this girl who's 2 hours away but she's also friends with the chick I was with after the wedding(live in close proximity). Meaning getting close with her means I have to possibly see the other one, which really isn't on my list of things to do. ....OK I started writing this and suddenly realized I'm insecure about what this chick thinks about me because of what her friend has done with me. Fuck that. I'll ask her out, Idc she lives two hours away so what if it doesn't work out.
...sad nerd
One time I went to the bar, I hit on many girls and told them my iccup rank. I even showed them the list I carry of all the nerds I slayed with the replay packs on my netbook. I thought for sure this would be a good way to hit on girls. Anyway, as the story goes of course I picked up mad girls on the first night. This one girl though after I was dating her for about 2 weeks, I found out a terrible secret... She played league of legends. So I dumped that bitch and I hope she has a horrible life.
+ Show Spoiler +BTW I picked them up with this hat ![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/9YrsPJa.jpg)
|
After three months, the girl I was dating didn't want to continue. She wanted to be fwb instead.
|
On February 02 2013 15:16 SilverSkyLark wrote:
After three months, the girl I was dating didn't want to continue. She wanted to be fwb instead.
I got a girl like that too. Fun times.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT![[image loading]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mb6stm2WAW1r8lhs5o1_400.gif)
