EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 892
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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JimmyJRaynor
Canada17518 Posts
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On November 15 2016 00:13 JimmyJRaynor wrote: its not just about sex. we are good friends. sometimes i'm her backup guy for sex. sometimes for 1 of her big family events when she was not married and wants someone to go with her i'd be her "bf for the event". i'm skilled at helping her exit from mandatory family events ASAP.. like within 3 or 4 hours. Sounds like a very one sided "relationship"/deal. Are you persuing something that will last as well? | ||
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Rocket-Bear
3070 Posts
Anyway last friday I was at a bar and a guy I found really attractive walked it. It was quite late so wasn't very many customers left and the bartender and I had been talking and it was quite obvious I thought the guy walking in was attractive.. Anyway the bartender tried to wingman for me lol, he spoke in Korean but I understood the geist of it so was very nice of him. Unfortunately the guy didn't seem interested so we gave up. Until I came across the same guy today on a dating app, I asked him it he was at the bar last friday because I was a bit drunk and wasn't 100% sure because people look slightly different in pictures as well. It was him and now he seem interested so we're going on a coffee date woo. | ||
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Artisreal
Germany9235 Posts
On November 15 2016 03:13 bloodwhore~ wrote: Sounds like a very one sided "relationship"/deal. Are you persuing something that will last as well? Idk, to me it sounds like a very balanced friendship where lines appear to be clear for both parties involved. From what I've read, it doesn't appear to be a case of being taken advantage of or sth. like that. On November 15 2016 14:47 Rocket-Bear wrote: Oh first time posting but check this thread every now and then. But finally I have a good success story Anyway last friday I was at a bar and a guy I found really attractive walked it. It was quite late so wasn't very many customers left and the bartender and I had been talking and it was quite obvious I thought the guy walking in was attractive.. Anyway the bartender tried to wingman for me lol, he spoke in Korean but I understood the geist of it so was very nice of him. Unfortunately the guy didn't seem interested so we gave up. Until I came across the same guy today on a dating app, I asked him it he was at the bar last friday because I was a bit drunk and wasn't 100% sure because people look slightly different in pictures as well. It was him and now he seem interested so we're going on a coffee date woo. There ya go, good luck with that! Props for asking him! | ||
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evilfatsh1t
Australia8865 Posts
On November 15 2016 14:47 Rocket-Bear wrote: Oh first time posting but check this thread every now and then. But finally I have a good success story Anyway last friday I was at a bar and a guy I found really attractive walked it. It was quite late so wasn't very many customers left and the bartender and I had been talking and it was quite obvious I thought the guy walking in was attractive.. Anyway the bartender tried to wingman for me lol, he spoke in Korean but I understood the geist of it so was very nice of him. Unfortunately the guy didn't seem interested so we gave up. Until I came across the same guy today on a dating app, I asked him it he was at the bar last friday because I was a bit drunk and wasn't 100% sure because people look slightly different in pictures as well. It was him and now he seem interested so we're going on a coffee date woo. 1. i didnt know you were a girl 2. is this in korea? 3. what dating app pls | ||
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Rocket-Bear
3070 Posts
2. Yes 3. Called Hornet, which is a bit more dating oriented than grindr/tinder | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
On November 08 2016 13:50 evilfatsh1t wrote: i care reasonable range for me (+/- 4 years) still puts me in range of girls that have bricks in their heads, so i do care about age somewhat. ive got a full time job, have a good career path, just bought a house and am actually going somewhere with my life. i dont want to be dating a girl who still has years before they finish their 'party life' and join the real world (not saying the real world is a dull hellhole, but you get my point). i also dont want to be dating a girl whos 4 years older than me but is still living like shes a student either. where are you going in your life? also damn dude, that heteronormativity | ||
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Artisreal
Germany9235 Posts
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
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Artisreal
Germany9235 Posts
Then I'd agree. | ||
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Mikau
Netherlands1446 Posts
4th date. We went to an arcade/bar thing. We had dinner, drinks, played boardgames and videogames and talked a lot. Banter and conversation was amazing, there was much flirting. When I went in for the kiss I got rejected (wouldn't look me in the eyes, kept her head down). Later, when I told her I was confused she seemed so into me but refused to kiss me, she told me she's "very awkward" with intimacy. She told me that 2 years ago something happened that made it that way, and that "she finds it hard to trust guys enough now". Honestly, she made it sound like she was abused or raped, but didn't want to elaborate. We continued the date, I rode her home. She invited me in for coffee, we talked for another few hours. I left with a hug. I'm guessing popular advice will be something along the lines of "too much bagage, plenty of fish in the sea", but I'm really enjoying her company and the banter and conversation is the best I've ever had this early in. She's also really sexy. I want to see where this goes for now. | ||
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farvacola
United States18857 Posts
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evilfatsh1t
Australia8865 Posts
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xDaunt
United States17988 Posts
On November 18 2016 11:30 Mikau wrote: Just came back from one of the best, but also easily the most confusing, date ever. Same girl as a few pages back. 4th date. We went to an arcade/bar thing. We had dinner, drinks, played boardgames and videogames and talked a lot. Banter and conversation was amazing, there was much flirting. When I went in for the kiss I got rejected (wouldn't look me in the eyes, kept her head down). Later, when I told her I was confused she seemed so into me but refused to kiss me, she told me she's "very awkward" with intimacy. She told me that 2 years ago something happened that made it that way, and that "she finds it hard to trust guys enough now". Honestly, she made it sound like she was abused or raped, but didn't want to elaborate. We continued the date, I rode her home. She invited me in for coffee, we talked for another few hours. I left with a hug. I'm guessing popular advice will be something along the lines of "too much bagage, plenty of fish in the sea", but I'm really enjoying her company and the banter and conversation is the best I've ever had this early in. She's also really sexy. I want to see where this goes for now. What else do you know about her dating history? Has she been with other guys since whatever happened to her? If something bad happened within the past 3-6 months, that'd be one thing. Two years and still no kiss after four dates? Something's off. More likely than not, she's not that into you. If I were you, I'd make myself a little bit scarcer and date some other people (though you can keep seeing her). She may come around. If not, then I doubt that she would otherwise. | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
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xDaunt
United States17988 Posts
On November 18 2016 14:04 IgnE wrote: Something is off but I don't agree that she's not into you. People don't invite you in for coffee at the end of the night on the fourth date just to be polite. Eh, I've basically had that happen to me before. And I was too stupid at the time to really understand what was going on, and I sure as hell wasn't listening to reason from my friends at the time. Regardless, it's hard to judge in a vacuum without knowing more about the girl and the specific circumstances. I think that the dating history will tell the tale. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On November 18 2016 11:30 Mikau wrote: Just came back from one of the best, but also easily the most confusing, date ever. Same girl as a few pages back. 4th date. We went to an arcade/bar thing. We had dinner, drinks, played boardgames and videogames and talked a lot. Banter and conversation was amazing, there was much flirting. When I went in for the kiss I got rejected (wouldn't look me in the eyes, kept her head down). Later, when I told her I was confused she seemed so into me but refused to kiss me, she told me she's "very awkward" with intimacy. She told me that 2 years ago something happened that made it that way, and that "she finds it hard to trust guys enough now". Honestly, she made it sound like she was abused or raped, but didn't want to elaborate. We continued the date, I rode her home. She invited me in for coffee, we talked for another few hours. I left with a hug. I'm guessing popular advice will be something along the lines of "too much bagage, plenty of fish in the sea", but I'm really enjoying her company and the banter and conversation is the best I've ever had this early in. She's also really sexy. I want to see where this goes for now. Can't say I've been in this exact situation. However I met a girl at a club before, we made out there etc, she wasn't interested in taking it further there so I asked her on a date instead. I tried to kiss her after the first date, got rejected, however she still wanted to continue seeing me. We went on two more dates and I never really bothered with trying kiss her again assuming she would go for it. After the third date we stopped dating. However your girl seems to a bit more interested. Anyway, if you are going to continue seeing her, I think it would be unwise to expect her to make the first move. | ||
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Broetchenholer
Germany1961 Posts
 I might learn how to be more open to strangers but that woud mean to first change my life to one where you meet people and i don't want to do both. So i guess i am back to being sad about not having someone and accepting that it won't change. Le sigh. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On November 18 2016 14:04 IgnE wrote: Something is off but I don't agree that she's not into you. People don't invite you in for coffee at the end of the night on the fourth date just to be polite. She might like him very much, just not romantically - what's strange with that. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On November 18 2016 21:18 Broetchenholer wrote: So i am back to being seingle after 9 months of a relationship and i am missing it, but i don't see me getting back anytime soon. I met my last girl on okcupid, but this seems kinda worn out now. The women on the platform are either there since 3 year or have no profile etc. I have payed for 3 months but haven't actually started putting any effort in it and i absolutely don't feel like it. The women in my natural feeding grounds are all in relationships and those feeding grounds are extremely small anyway. I am awkward around people in don't know and so i don't ask women out unless i already know them. So, if my friends, coworkers and sportswomen are all taken or not interested, i am out of options I might learn how to be more open to strangers but that woud mean to first change my life to one where you meet people and i don't want to do both. So i guess i am back to being sad about not having someone and accepting that it won't change. Le sigh.This does not compute Either it bothers you and you will do something about it Or you accept the situation, in which case why would you be sad about something you consciously have chosen? It's okay to be cool with being alone As it's okay to to take action if you're not. | ||
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