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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
November 07 2016 09:33 GMT
#17781
On November 07 2016 16:21 Mikau wrote:
I'm curious how you can argue that her asking me out for a follow up date is anything but a good sign, regardless of whether it was done over phone or text.

Oh you wrote you were talking about each other's days not that she's asking you out, her doing that is a great sign ofc
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
Artisreal
Profile Joined June 2009
Germany9235 Posts
November 07 2016 10:28 GMT
#17782
On November 07 2016 18:18 Laurens wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 07 2016 16:21 Mikau wrote:
I'm curious how you can argue that her asking me out for a follow up date is anything but a good sign, regardless of whether it was done over phone or text.


It's just a LemOn thing. He advocates never texting/instant messaging but only talking when meeting in person, and the occasional necessary phonecall for setting these dates up.

Obviously not all women/relationships are the same, but this is a concept LemOn does not understand.

If your girl likes chatting, chat.

I actually agree with that kind of statement, not communicating indirectly that is.
So many misunderstandings are happening because compared to face-to-face talk or even talking on the phone, a lot of meaning, context, emotion, sentiment is lost in text.

Of course it doesn't apply to every occasion, but for important messages, please, do not use text messages,
Whether it being a whatsapp or email. It is, in my opinion, imperative to provide intonation (phone/face-to-face) and the opportunity of a direct feedback/question regarding the message sent. It is of the utmost difficulty to convey through emoticons what you can convey through voice.

As I said, not necessarily applicable here. And of course it varies from person to person. But even if someone likes to communicate in written form, I still think it is way too prone to misinterpretation than it being a sensible choice of communication for important matters / arguing.
passive quaranstream fan
Skynx
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
Turkey7150 Posts
November 07 2016 11:23 GMT
#17783
On November 04 2016 11:32 ragnasaur wrote:
This girl & I were hanging out and I said something and she laughed, but then she added, "you're funny " after she laughed. Now I don't know what to do. Like does she think I'm funny like how? Like a clown or something? Or maybe she just thinks im there to amuse her. I think i'll blow her off

Lol get the fuck out of here rag you almost had me.
"When seagulls follow the troller, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea. Thank you very much" - King Cantona | STX 4 eva
bdonballer
Profile Joined October 2014
United States408 Posts
November 07 2016 11:25 GMT
#17784
I'm curious, why would a girl randomly ask how old are you?
I carry hard!
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
November 07 2016 11:27 GMT
#17785
On November 07 2016 20:25 bdonballer wrote:
I'm curious, why would a girl randomly ask how old are you?

Because she is interested? Why wouldn't you ask this question?
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
November 07 2016 15:16 GMT
#17786
Women find age important because they accredite a certain level of maturity to whatever your age is.
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
November 07 2016 19:44 GMT
#17787
On November 08 2016 00:16 B.I.G. wrote:
Women find age important because they accredite a certain level of maturity to whatever your age is.

You make it sound like women are the only ones who care how old the person you are dating is.

If you're dating someone and he/she never asks how old you are, that's rather strange to be honest. You will get the question sooner or later.
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
Pipes
Profile Joined June 2016
9 Posts
November 07 2016 21:10 GMT
#17788
Well boys, this is my first post in this thread after lurking for a few months. Reading all the posts and now I'm at page 871.
My now ex-girlfriend just broke up with me after almost 3 years. It's still very surreal right now and I'm dazed.
All the feels will probably be felt later and I'm going to be miserable AF.
On a positive note, I'm looking forward to installing Tinder on my phone, which is nice, I guess.
Live and let live.
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
November 07 2016 21:49 GMT
#17789
I traded telling my age for our first kiss :D
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
November 08 2016 00:19 GMT
#17790
On November 08 2016 04:44 bloodwhore~ wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 08 2016 00:16 B.I.G. wrote:
Women find age important because they accredite a certain level of maturity to whatever your age is.

You make it sound like women are the only ones who care how old the person you are dating is.

If you're dating someone and he/she never asks how old you are, that's rather strange to be honest. You will get the question sooner or later.

I got the "I normally date older guys" and "I think you are too young for me" comments so often while most guys I know don't care about age much as long as it is in the reasonable range.
Dark_Chill
Profile Joined May 2011
Canada3353 Posts
November 08 2016 00:27 GMT
#17791
On November 08 2016 06:10 Pipes wrote:
Well boys, this is my first post in this thread after lurking for a few months. Reading all the posts and now I'm at page 871.
My now ex-girlfriend just broke up with me after almost 3 years. It's still very surreal right now and I'm dazed.
All the feels will probably be felt later and I'm going to be miserable AF.
On a positive note, I'm looking forward to installing Tinder on my phone, which is nice, I guess.

If you've still got the ability to post well enough and describe how you feel, hopefully the feels are manageable. GL man, and the thread is here for you.
CUTE MAKES RIGHT
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
November 08 2016 03:33 GMT
#17792
#committedrelationship
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
evilfatsh1t
Profile Joined October 2010
Australia8913 Posts
November 08 2016 04:50 GMT
#17793
On November 08 2016 09:19 B.I.G. wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 08 2016 04:44 bloodwhore~ wrote:
On November 08 2016 00:16 B.I.G. wrote:
Women find age important because they accredite a certain level of maturity to whatever your age is.

You make it sound like women are the only ones who care how old the person you are dating is.

If you're dating someone and he/she never asks how old you are, that's rather strange to be honest. You will get the question sooner or later.

I got the "I normally date older guys" and "I think you are too young for me" comments so often while most guys I know don't care about age much as long as it is in the reasonable range.

i care
reasonable range for me (+/- 4 years) still puts me in range of girls that have bricks in their heads, so i do care about age somewhat.
ive got a full time job, have a good career path, just bought a house and am actually going somewhere with my life. i dont want to be dating a girl who still has years before they finish their 'party life' and join the real world (not saying the real world is a dull hellhole, but you get my point). i also dont want to be dating a girl whos 4 years older than me but is still living like shes a student either.
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
November 08 2016 08:19 GMT
#17794
On November 08 2016 06:10 Pipes wrote:
Well boys, this is my first post in this thread after lurking for a few months. Reading all the posts and now I'm at page 871.
My now ex-girlfriend just broke up with me after almost 3 years. It's still very surreal right now and I'm dazed.
All the feels will probably be felt later and I'm going to be miserable AF.
On a positive note, I'm looking forward to installing Tinder on my phone, which is nice, I guess.

Did you read ALL the pages!? That must be like reading a book almost, watching people evolve.

Also, I don't think you will enjoy Tinder as much as you think you do.
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
CosmicSpiral
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States15275 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-11-08 18:42:47
November 08 2016 16:39 GMT
#17795
On November 08 2016 13:50 evilfatsh1t wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 08 2016 09:19 B.I.G. wrote:
On November 08 2016 04:44 bloodwhore~ wrote:
On November 08 2016 00:16 B.I.G. wrote:
Women find age important because they accredite a certain level of maturity to whatever your age is.

You make it sound like women are the only ones who care how old the person you are dating is.

If you're dating someone and he/she never asks how old you are, that's rather strange to be honest. You will get the question sooner or later.

I got the "I normally date older guys" and "I think you are too young for me" comments so often while most guys I know don't care about age much as long as it is in the reasonable range.

i care
reasonable range for me (+/- 4 years) still puts me in range of girls that have bricks in their heads, so i do care about age somewhat.
ive got a full time job, have a good career path, just bought a house and am actually going somewhere with my life. i dont want to be dating a girl who still has years before they finish their 'party life' and join the real world (not saying the real world is a dull hellhole, but you get my point). i also dont want to be dating a girl whos 4 years older than me but is still living like shes a student either.


When it comes to girls, I think there are more important things for you to worry about.

As a general rule, people are stupid and irresponsible regardless of age. Age largely determines whether people adhere to popular norms of behavior, and those (in my opinion) are flimsy at best.
WriterWovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muß man schweigen.
Pipes
Profile Joined June 2016
9 Posts
November 08 2016 20:58 GMT
#17796
On November 08 2016 09:27 Dark_Chill wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 08 2016 06:10 Pipes wrote:
Well boys, this is my first post in this thread after lurking for a few months. Reading all the posts and now I'm at page 871.
My now ex-girlfriend just broke up with me after almost 3 years. It's still very surreal right now and I'm dazed.
All the feels will probably be felt later and I'm going to be miserable AF.
On a positive note, I'm looking forward to installing Tinder on my phone, which is nice, I guess.

If you've still got the ability to post well enough and describe how you feel, hopefully the feels are manageable. GL man, and the thread is here for you.


Yeah, I've been dumped before, so I have experience in handling breakups.
My defense mechanism is to just keep myself busy so she stays out of my mind.
Thanks man. I will probably stay out of relationships for a while. I've been in a relationship for 9 years straight (with different girls and never had any gaps) so being single will hopefully be refreshing.
Live and let live.
Pipes
Profile Joined June 2016
9 Posts
November 08 2016 21:07 GMT
#17797
On November 08 2016 17:19 bloodwhore~ wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 08 2016 06:10 Pipes wrote:
Well boys, this is my first post in this thread after lurking for a few months. Reading all the posts and now I'm at page 871.
My now ex-girlfriend just broke up with me after almost 3 years. It's still very surreal right now and I'm dazed.
All the feels will probably be felt later and I'm going to be miserable AF.
On a positive note, I'm looking forward to installing Tinder on my phone, which is nice, I guess.

Did you read ALL the pages!? That must be like reading a book almost, watching people evolve.

Also, I don't think you will enjoy Tinder as much as you think you do.


Yes, I did. But to be fair I mostly ignored posts that talked about PUA and if it became way out of topic (like psychoanalysis and evolution LOL).
True, and it's amusing. I remember you being the mascot virgin a year ago and now turned into a full blow Casanova (no offense).

Installed Tinder now and I can relate with Volband's post a few pages back.
I got a decent amount of matches, however 1/3 doesn't respond from my initial greeting, another 1/3 doesn't reply after the hi/hello, and the last 1/3 isn't interested in meet-ups and just wanna chit chat.
Also, most 9s and 10s will never match with me because they're either bots, attention seekers or will not settle for a 6/7 like me.
Live and let live.
evilfatsh1t
Profile Joined October 2010
Australia8913 Posts
November 08 2016 22:35 GMT
#17798
On November 09 2016 01:39 CosmicSpiral wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 08 2016 13:50 evilfatsh1t wrote:
On November 08 2016 09:19 B.I.G. wrote:
On November 08 2016 04:44 bloodwhore~ wrote:
On November 08 2016 00:16 B.I.G. wrote:
Women find age important because they accredite a certain level of maturity to whatever your age is.

You make it sound like women are the only ones who care how old the person you are dating is.

If you're dating someone and he/she never asks how old you are, that's rather strange to be honest. You will get the question sooner or later.

I got the "I normally date older guys" and "I think you are too young for me" comments so often while most guys I know don't care about age much as long as it is in the reasonable range.

i care
reasonable range for me (+/- 4 years) still puts me in range of girls that have bricks in their heads, so i do care about age somewhat.
ive got a full time job, have a good career path, just bought a house and am actually going somewhere with my life. i dont want to be dating a girl who still has years before they finish their 'party life' and join the real world (not saying the real world is a dull hellhole, but you get my point). i also dont want to be dating a girl whos 4 years older than me but is still living like shes a student either.


When it comes to girls, I think there are more important things for you to worry about.

As a general rule, people are stupid and irresponsible regardless of age. Age largely determines whether people adhere to popular norms of behavior, and those (in my opinion) are flimsy at best.

who says its the most important thing i worry about?
im saying its not something that people shouldnt worry about at all.
people have expectations of others depending on their age. i wouldnt expect the same thing out of a 20yr old girl and a 28yr old girl, but if they turn out to be similar then how i judge each of them changes drastically. the 20yr old girl may be way ahead of the curve in terms of maturity, 'life progression' etc whereas the 28yr old is at the back of the line. if that isnt a factor for you then good for you
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
November 09 2016 04:06 GMT
#17799
On November 08 2016 13:50 evilfatsh1t wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 08 2016 09:19 B.I.G. wrote:
On November 08 2016 04:44 bloodwhore~ wrote:
On November 08 2016 00:16 B.I.G. wrote:
Women find age important because they accredite a certain level of maturity to whatever your age is.

You make it sound like women are the only ones who care how old the person you are dating is.

If you're dating someone and he/she never asks how old you are, that's rather strange to be honest. You will get the question sooner or later.

I got the "I normally date older guys" and "I think you are too young for me" comments so often while most guys I know don't care about age much as long as it is in the reasonable range.

i care
reasonable range for me (+/- 4 years) still puts me in range of girls that have bricks in their heads, so i do care about age somewhat.
ive got a full time job, have a good career path, just bought a house and am actually going somewhere with my life. i dont want to be dating a girl who still has years before they finish their 'party life' and join the real world (not saying the real world is a dull hellhole, but you get my point). i also dont want to be dating a girl whos 4 years older than me but is still living like shes a student either.

AKA you agree with me that it's not age that determines maturity. Maturity is indeed important.
evilfatsh1t
Profile Joined October 2010
Australia8913 Posts
November 09 2016 06:46 GMT
#17800
i agree that maturity and age have low correlation. i dont agree that most guys dont care about age. i personally use age as an indicator for other factors related to maturity
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