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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On November 09 2016 15:46 evilfatsh1t wrote: i agree that maturity and age have low correlation. i dont agree that most guys dont care about age. i personally use age as an indicator for other factors related to maturity The 18 y/o I'm currently dating is the most mature person I've dated so far. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On November 10 2016 12:42 GoTuNk! wrote:The 18 y/o I'm currently dating is the most mature person I've dated so far. How long have you been dating? I thought my 17 year old fwb was mature as well, but after a while you start noticing that she was pretty naive in a lot of ways. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
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solidbebe
Netherlands4921 Posts
On November 10 2016 20:18 LemOn wrote: I mean, I only commit to monogamy when I actually see a long -term future with the perso and am excited by it, I'm talking 50+years here. And things like social and emotional intelligence can come very early and you can recognise them, where experience just comes in a couple years and is no big deal really It takes years to get to know a person well enough to know if you want to spend the rest of your life with them, all you not monogamous for the first few years of any relationship? I agree that you can recognize social and emotional intelligence very early, but that still doesn't mean you are a compatible couple. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On November 09 2016 06:07 Pipes wrote: Yes, I did. But to be fair I mostly ignored posts that talked about PUA and if it became way out of topic (like psychoanalysis and evolution LOL). True, and it's amusing. I remember you being the mascot virgin a year ago and now turned into a full blow Casanova (no offense). Installed Tinder now and I can relate with Volband's post a few pages back. I got a decent amount of matches, however 1/3 doesn't respond from my initial greeting, another 1/3 doesn't reply after the hi/hello, and the last 1/3 isn't interested in meet-ups and just wanna chit chat. Also, most 9s and 10s will never match with me because they're either bots, attention seekers or will not settle for a 6/7 like me. Haha, I am far from a casanova  Yeah that is pretty much Tinder. Pictures are everything, so if you actually want to give it a shot, definitely tryhard a few good photos. It increase your chances drastically. | ||
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Ben...
Canada3485 Posts
On November 11 2016 21:34 bloodwhore~ wrote: Haha, I am far from a casanova Yeah that is pretty much Tinder. Pictures are everything, so if you actually want to give it a shot, definitely tryhard a few good photos. It increase your chances drastically. Better yet, get a friend to take photos of you. It looks way better if all your pictures aren't selfies. Even better, if it's girls you're after, get one who is a friend and will be honest with you to take a few for you. It'll turn out way better since they can give you useful feedback on what to do. I think my self-imposed hiatus from dating is pretty much done. I'm gonna start putting myself out there a bit again. Hopefully the next girl I find isn't like the last one. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On November 12 2016 11:53 Ben... wrote: Better yet, get a friend to take photos of you. It looks way better if all your pictures aren't selfies. Even better, if it's girls you're after, get one who is a friend and will be honest with you to take a few for you. It'll turn out way better since they can give you useful feedback on what to do. I think my self-imposed hiatus from dating is pretty much done. I'm gonna start putting myself out there a bit again. Hopefully the next girl I find isn't like the last one. Yeah that works if your friend is actually good at taking picture. Me and a friend took some pictures of each other. However most turned out pretty bad to be honest. We got like 1-2 decent photos. A far better alternative is to start filming yourself, and then just take a screenshot of that movie. Much easier to get a natural look. What happened to the last girl? I'm thinking about taking a break again.. I said I was going to take a break a month ago, I however did not and instead met three different girls. Maybe I just should reset my tinder account  | ||
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RvB
Netherlands6274 Posts
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On November 12 2016 22:13 RvB wrote: Any particular reason for taking a break? My reason is that I've gotten bored of meeting up with girls just to reject them one or two dates later. Met 9 girls last year and 9 so far this year, of these 18, 5 have been awesome. I guess it's just the energy spent vs what you get back is not really always worth it. | ||
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On November 13 2016 05:16 WarSame wrote: There's also the possibility that you are simply burning through all the valid matches instead of developing a relationship, and that developing said relationship may be a solution to your problems. Well it is possible that I could have possible fallen for some if I had continued dating them for a long time. But how long should you try before you give up? Debateable. I've given like 4-5 dates on girls who I could possibly see myself with but haven't been super interested in. And the ones that I have been super interested in have unfortunately been the ones to diss me. I don't see any reason to continue dating someone if you don't click on the second date either. That's definitely a downside with tinder, sure you can talk a long time on text but it is just time consuming, but if you don't there is a bigger chance you do not click in real. | ||
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hunts
United States2113 Posts
On November 10 2016 12:42 GoTuNk! wrote: The 18 y/o I'm currently dating is the most mature person I've dated so far. And how old are you? | ||
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
26 | ||
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Ben...
Canada3485 Posts
On November 12 2016 19:59 bloodwhore~ wrote: Yeah that works if your friend is actually good at taking picture. Me and a friend took some pictures of each other. However most turned out pretty bad to be honest. We got like 1-2 decent photos. A far better alternative is to start filming yourself, and then just take a screenshot of that movie. Much easier to get a natural look. Oh, haha, yes, that's probably important. I have a friend who has a fancy camera who helped me out. But she does photography as a side job and a hobby. On November 12 2016 19:59 bloodwhore~ wrote: What happened to the last girl? I cut things off after the third date. She kept sending me texts for a while after. She didn't understand the concept of giving someone space. She was good for the first two dates but then things went downhill quickly. I was only on my third date with her and she was already not giving me room to breathe. She seemed to assume she was in a relationship with me when that was not the case. I told her I wasn't big on texting but she kept sending me messages all hours of the day anyway. I also noticed she was lacking in maturity (and because of the discussion I saw on here, I'll say she was 26. I'm younger than her. I think age and maturity have nothing to do with each other). She came off as very condescending and selfish at times, especially when we were dealing with other people. There's that way of testing someone's character by looking at how they deal with complete strangers, and she failed that test completely. We went out for food one evening and she was condescending to our waitress and gave her a shitty tip for no apparent reason (our waitress did a good job and was friendly and everything. I was very confused. We paid for our own food and I paid after her and saw what happened so I gave a 30% tip to make up for it). I talked the whole thing over with a friend and they figured she was probably jealous because the waitress was good looking and was friendly towards me. The whole thing just kinda soured me on dating for a bit. Wow this whole post ended up being way longer than I thought it would be. | ||
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Acrofales
Spain18292 Posts
Oh, just read the last bit. So what your fiends said. | ||
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iSometric
2221 Posts
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On November 14 2016 09:34 Ben... wrote: + Show Spoiler + I cut things off after the third date. She kept sending me texts for a while after. She didn't understand the concept of giving someone space. She was good for the first two dates but then things went downhill quickly. I was only on my third date with her and she was already not giving me room to breathe. She seemed to assume she was in a relationship with me when that was not the case. I told her I wasn't big on texting but she kept sending me messages all hours of the day anyway. I also noticed she was lacking in maturity (and because of the discussion I saw on here, I'll say she was 26. I'm younger than her. I think age and maturity have nothing to do with each other). She came off as very condescending and selfish at times, especially when we were dealing with other people. There's that way of testing someone's character by looking at how they deal with complete strangers, and she failed that test completely. We went out for food one evening and she was condescending to our waitress and gave her a shitty tip for no apparent reason (our waitress did a good job and was friendly and everything. I was very confused. We paid for our own food and I paid after her and saw what happened so I gave a 30% tip to make up for it). I talked the whole thing over with a friend and they figured she was probably jealous because the waitress was good looking and was friendly towards me. The whole thing just kinda soured me on dating for a bit. Wow this whole post ended up being way longer than I thought it would be. Ah yeah that definitely sounds like a good cause for ending it. Not every girl is like this, get back on that horse! | ||
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JimmyJRaynor
Canada17518 Posts
the gf i was with off and on in my last 2 years of high school recently decided to divorce her husband. We've remained friends for 15 years. I'm basically her designated back up guy. Which i'm totally cool with. Anyhow, she is pretty distraught and needs some attention and spiritual rejuvenation. i live 1 hour away from her and she still lives with her husband as they work out the details of the split. So we can't really play at her place. I get this brilliant super-genius idea! Let's go make-out in my car at the old park we used to go when we were in high school. Just to rekindle those amazing memories. She thinks it would be fun. Damn i'm a genius! I pull into the very dark park that has a long meandering very poorly lit car path that can barely accommodate 1 car going in each direction.. so i'm thoroughly focused on the road. We get to the parking area and i'm having trouble finding a secluded spot because there are far more cars than i ever remember in my high school daze. I do the best i can to find a spot as far away from other cars as possible. My ex-gf starts to notice a pattern.. and gets an anxious look.. i know her reactions very well and i know this look is NOT GOOD. I can see gears turning in her mind as she announces.... "every car passing us has just 1 man in it and they're all staring at us". I don't have to stare at the road because we are now stationary and ummmm... she is correct. LOLOLOLOL. It's all single gay men in this park and its been transformed from a "high school make out spot" into a "gay cruising zone". As we look around more carefully there are men having sex only partially obstructed by bushes. Total mood killer. My ex-gf was already distraught and messed up about getting divorced and this unforeseen surprise only increased her anxiety as car after car with a single guy passed by with the guy staring at her for like 5+ seconds. She now had zero interest in any "fun times" and any rekindling of the past. So much for that... we just went to a local dive donut shop and talked for the evening. No action for me. today i found this article about the park. https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2016/11/13/toronto-police-cracking-down-on-public-sex-in-etobicoke-park.html oh how times have changed. | ||
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Acrofales
Spain18292 Posts
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On November 14 2016 23:29 JimmyJRaynor wrote:I'm basically her designated back up guy. What do you mean by this? Back up guy to fuck when she isn't in a relationship? Otherwise it was a pretty hilarious story! | ||
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