Dating: How's your luck? - Page 871

On August 13 2016 12:09 SK.Testie wrote:
Maybe she's flaky, nervous, worried, self-conscious or scared.

I would just call her on it and tell her there's really no need to be nervous (or ask her, "you're not cancelling because you're nervous, right? If you have a big fat pimple I really don't care". Then if she showed up with a pimple, tell her you lied. You do care and that the date was a mistake. Seems like a pretty simple solution.

In all seriousness though if she cancelled twice, it's up to you whether to give her one more chance. And if she breaks that chance, from then on she must do all the lifting to get the next date because you've lost enough interest and are skeptical of whether she's worth your time.

On August 13 2016 11:16 Zooper31 wrote:
Haven't posted in this thread in like 2yrs.

Non-existent atm. I just live my life and if someone comes along worth spending time with then I can dig it, content with how things are though as well. Though what prompted me to post here is a random Tinder interaction.

We matched, and then chatted for a bit last night. We both laughed, shared some mutual interests, had a real conversation about the Olympics and how we both seemed to be each others type. I ask a random question today after my shift at work about how she said she was a Batman nerd (I'm a huge Batman nerd myself, wanted to gauge her interest and see if she was a faker or not lol). I then randomly get deleted... I mean fuck me right? Okay... I guess I didn't ask her if she was dtf fast enough or what idk lmao.

Anyway moving on! Not too bothered by it, just seemed kinda weird...

On August 13 2016 00:31 levelping wrote:


I think if you had the chance to read my preceeding posts, you'd have seen that I am going to regard her as a friend, and if she wants to rekindle anything down the road that's for her prerogative (and which I have no control over anyway). I've also mentioned that I set aside time to meet people. Again, I would appreciate that you don't assume that it's at the bottom of my priority list.

So you do not really need to prove points which are in my own posts. These are truisms that are inherently applicable, and I'd have thought there is not very much value in mentioning things which are so trite. Giving you the benefit of the doubt though, perhaps you were too busy to read everything, I appreciate the effort.

On August 13 2016 14:45 kaykaykay wrote:


hi levelping, just wanted to offer some perspective from a fellow Singaporean.(for how much its worth)
From reading your posts and putting myself in your shoes, remember that it could have been much worst.
She could have totally ignored you. She could already be seeing someone.
Or if you're that much of a stoic sage, even you could have never met her and this wanting for her not existed.
My point, be appreciative of your former experiences with her even if it doesn't amount to anything in the future. You will also find that you derive more delight from your interactions with her as a result.

You're right when you say that whether or not she ever wants something more is something that's you have no control over. We should therefore not concern ourselves with these things. However you can also see it as something which we have some but not complete control over.

With respects to these things, we should internalize the goals we form with them.
i.e. in your case, internalizing it could mean trying to date her and showing her why you're the man for her to the best of your ability. (This is something internal over which you've complete control)

As compared to an external goal would be whether she becomes your girlfriend or not.

Since the goal was not simply whether or not she becomes your girlfriend or not, even if in the future she says no, you will not have failed to attain your goal, as long as you've tried your best. Your tranquility will thus not be disrupted.

I don't know whether it's perception or evolution, but women all seem to be much taller than me these days, which isn't that great for the old self confidence, especially when they then also say they are looking for large men.

On August 15 2016 16:44 Morfildur wrote:
Well, had the first "date" in probably 6 years yesterday evening, though I'm not sure whether it classifies as a real date.

Matched with her on tinder at 5pm, 3 messages later I asked whether she wanted to continue the chat over a coffee, because I don't like the whole messaging thing, she said she doesn't like it either and asked when I have time. I responded with a few options which included yesterday and she went for yesterday 8pm, so my lazy Sunday in front of the PC binge watching John Oliver ended with me going out and having a chat with a nice woman. Since it wasn't really planned and was only an hour long since we both had to work the next day it doesn't really count as a date for me, but it's probably still the closest thing I've been to in the last 6 years. I even took the time to iron my favorite shirt. Essentially, the "date" was just a short coffee and then a walk along her favorite streets, so nothing too fancy, but at least I managed to keep the conversation active.

Not that happy that she's even two years older than me, but then again as a mid thirty such minor age differences become less important. At least she earns her own money and doesn't have children, which is a major plus. I also like that I feel big next to her even as a small (1.75m, 5ft 9in) guy. I don't know whether it's perception or evolution, but women all seem to be much taller than me these days, which isn't that great for the old self confidence, especially when they then also say they are looking for large men.

Have to see how it develops from here. I suggested we meet on Tuesday since the weather is supposed to finally be sunny again then, but since there is a crunchtime at her work at the moment she might not have the time. It's also hard to tell how interested she really was since she was very tired, so maybe nothing will come out of it.

On August 15 2016 16:44 Morfildur wrote:
Well, had the first "date" in probably 6 years yesterday evening, though I'm not sure whether it classifies as a real date.

Matched with her on tinder at 5pm, 3 messages later I asked whether she wanted to continue the chat over a coffee, because I don't like the whole messaging thing, she said she doesn't like it either and asked when I have time. I responded with a few options which included yesterday and she went for yesterday 8pm, so my lazy Sunday in front of the PC binge watching John Oliver ended with me going out and having a chat with a nice woman. Since it wasn't really planned and was only an hour long since we both had to work the next day it doesn't really count as a date for me, but it's probably still the closest thing I've been to in the last 6 years. I even took the time to iron my favorite shirt. Essentially, the "date" was just a short coffee and then a walk along her favorite streets, so nothing too fancy, but at least I managed to keep the conversation active.

Not that happy that she's even two years older than me, but then again as a mid thirty such minor age differences become less important. At least she earns her own money and doesn't have children, which is a major plus. I also like that I feel big next to her even as a small (1.75m, 5ft 9in) guy. I don't know whether it's perception or evolution, but women all seem to be much taller than me these days, which isn't that great for the old self confidence, especially when they then also say they are looking for large men.

Have to see how it develops from here. I suggested we meet on Tuesday since the weather is supposed to finally be sunny again then, but since there is a crunchtime at her work at the moment she might not have the time. It's also hard to tell how interested she really was since she was very tired, so maybe nothing will come out of it.

On August 15 2016 19:50 farvacola wrote:
I once dated a 6'3 Asian-American girl for a few weeks. Given that I'm 6'2, we were almost always the tallest couple in the room. That was fun