EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 87
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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hotpink019
United States9 Posts
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Jisall
United States2054 Posts
On January 24 2013 15:28 S_SienZ wrote: Cool beans to know that guys who hate clubbing like me still have a shot. Asking coz I'm probably heading back home later this year, never felt like being in a relationship in a country I would only be in temporarily so I've been in self-imposed isolation mode. Number of fingers on a hand > number of contacts on my phone. Haha, just because you can't get into a long lasting relationship with a lady doesn't mean you two can't enjoy each others company. A night of companionship is far outweighs a morning of awkwardness. | ||
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Inertiaddict
United States126 Posts
All my girlfriends have turned out to be crazy, unfortunately. I've had a couple relationships go 4 years or so (then they move to some other state with some guy they met on WoW, rofl - twice now, seriously), but I always seem to snap at that 4 year mark point, because things don't get better, they typically stagnate or slowly deteriorate. I don't get to meet a lot of girls, because I work nights. Despite being a nerd I will go and risk making a fool of myself, but I have to have a reason to approach a girl in the first place. I have an open mind, patience, and a positive attitude, but I'm distant, and I'm told that I don't "say it enough", even though I show it. Anyway, a long story short, is that they'll all been crazy, and it makes me sad, but I'll be fine as long as I take days off from work and I make the effort to get out there at some point. For now, though, it seems like a waste of time to chase and something that you can't force. Right, so, good luck to you all, and hopefully we'll all be happy. Thanks. | ||
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S_SienZ
1878 Posts
On January 24 2013 15:54 Jisall wrote: Haha, just because you can't get into a long lasting relationship with a lady doesn't mean you two can't enjoy each others company. A night of companionship is far outweighs a morning of awkwardness. Heh I'm a bit of an IdrA when it comes to ladies... long game macro all the way. Also when you've sort of committed yourself to being a lone wolf for 3 years... you kinda let standards slip, currently already whipping myself back into shape for when I get back, already lost like 19% of my (old) body weight  | ||
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r.Evo
Germany14079 Posts
On January 24 2013 15:28 S_SienZ wrote: Cool beans to know that guys who hate clubbing like me still have a shot. Asking coz I'm probably heading back home later this year, never felt like being in a relationship in a country I would only be in temporarily so I've been in self-imposed isolation mode. Number of fingers on a hand > number of contacts on my phone. Well, technically any location where you meet a woman is a place where you "have a shot". The hard part is usually getting into the mindset of "Oh, that girl is cute/sexy/up my alley, I'll go talk to her". | ||
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Jisall
United States2054 Posts
On January 24 2013 16:01 S_SienZ wrote: Heh I'm a bit of an IdrA when it comes to ladies... long game macro all the way. Also when you've sort of committed yourself to being a lone wolf for 3 years... you kinda let standards slip, currently already whipping myself back into shape for when I get back, already lost like 19% of my (old) body weight Lol long macro-games. I like it. All i'm saying is to make sure you keep yourself up. You seem to have the right mindset, so my worry was without cause. Best of luck to you on your return dude. | ||
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Jisall
United States2054 Posts
On January 24 2013 16:01 r.Evo wrote: Well, technically any location where you meet a woman is a place where you "have a shot". The hard part is usually getting into the mindset of "Oh, that girl is cute/sexy/up my alley, I'll go talk to her". I normally go at it from the angle of finding out what is special about that girl and then showing that trait to them. Never really go after sex, just trying to make the girls day better. Takes the pressure off completely. Edit: sorry for double post. | ||
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Latty
Germany567 Posts
well, i bet all of you know what the friendzone is right. i was not particulary friendzoned, i was more like not motivated to date a girl for like 2 years now, because of shitty job, horrible roommate situation which pretty much wrecked every day of mine and the for me extremly dissapointing thing that im a bit overweight, because i love sports and have bad knee problems and shit. so i thought to myself, "well latty, fix your shit first and then approach them girls" so i have a lot of female friends aswell as males, i would say i am well mannered and treat everyone like i would like to be treatend. Now that i hang around with people alot because i hate my living situation with my roommate it appears that i have spent a lot of time with this one girl. and i did not even think about approaching her because she is super cute and what i thought "not my league". no problems at all for me because i wasnt looking to date someone. now what happend is, we were at a bar with like 6 people or so, i went home pretty early like at 1 am because i was exhausted. got a call from a friend half an hour later i should come back please. i asked wtf was happend but got no answer. i was pretty pissed off .. drove back to the bar. what happend was, the girl had a complete breakdown..... she couldnt hold it back and startet crying so all the others asked her what was going on. she was crying because of me leaving already.. she was crying because she fell madly in love with me and was already for a month or so. she then told me stuff for like 2 hours with me rarely saying anything. i was a bit confused first, hearing from her what an amazing person i apperently are :D now were dating and its incredibly different then everything before, because all her feelings are build upon how nice i treated her as a person all the time and my feelings for her are not originated by getting in her pants or whatnot. so at 28 years old and a lot of confusing relationships and dating happenings in the past. i can truly say now: be nice! someone appreciates that!! have a good one TL.net ! | ||
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kmillz
United States1548 Posts
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TiTanIum_
Brazil1335 Posts
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Zeepje
Netherlands34 Posts
On January 25 2013 17:44 Latty wrote:... i can truly say now: be nice! someone appreciates that!! have a good one TL.net ! This. Sure, some girls may want an exciting, dangerous tough guy to be with (especially when they're younger). But I always feel that just being gallant and chivalrous (is that a word) and nice, and putting EFFORT into anything you do with your girl just works best, and is by far the most rewarding. Mind you, I had no luck at all with being nice before. You either get friendzoned or used (this one girl apparently had some triangle thing going on with me and a friend of mine, I thought only men pulled stuff like that). Either way, of course that happens at first, because you are young and the girls are young. Now, I am 25, my girlfriend just turned 22, and we are both very happy together. Going strong for 3+ years, living together for almost a year now. She always tells me how suprised she was when she met me, that guys can actually be nice all the time (and not only trying to get in her pants). So: TL;DR: Just wait for when you get a bit older, and especially wait for girls to be a bit older (not like, 50, but 20 or something). Be very nice to them! Their brains have matured by then and they'll be less tempted to go after some fling with a rough, tough guy, and be more tempted to be with you; the easy-going supernice guy  .Disclaimer: I am by no means an expert in dating. I had no luck before. But I do feel that sticking to being nice really works out when you are older. Being nice gets you a nice girl. | ||
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hotpink019
United States9 Posts
On January 24 2013 15:56 Inertiaddict wrote: Sorry to hear it, hotpink. That sounds like no fun at all. :/ All my girlfriends have turned out to be crazy, unfortunately. I've had a couple relationships go 4 years or so (then they move to some other state with some guy they met on WoW, rofl - twice now, seriously), but I always seem to snap at that 4 year mark point, because things don't get better, they typically stagnate or slowly deteriorate. I don't get to meet a lot of girls, because I work nights. Despite being a nerd I will go and risk making a fool of myself, but I have to have a reason to approach a girl in the first place. I have an open mind, patience, and a positive attitude, but I'm distant, and I'm told that I don't "say it enough", even though I show it. Anyway, a long story short, is that they'll all been crazy, and it makes me sad, but I'll be fine as long as I take days off from work and I make the effort to get out there at some point. For now, though, it seems like a waste of time to chase and something that you can't force. Right, so, good luck to you all, and hopefully we'll all be happy. Thanks. Really and I thought I have the worse of luck when it comes to dating? I have dated jerks and the last one was really a jerk. The part that I hate the most I see them often because we have the same circle of friends. That jerk even bragged how he got me now others think I'm a slut. I really hate him. | ||
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Falcynn
United States3597 Posts
Now everything has just been completely awkward for the last week, although I'll admit I made things awkward by being incredibly uncomfortable around her afterwards and not just trying to laugh it off. At this point I just want to try to get things back to normal. Prior to this the only relationships I've had have been with crazy chicks, and I'm not trying to sound bitter, I mean they were legitimately taking meds and seeing therapists. So I guess the "absolutely terrible" part applies to my whole life as well :/ | ||
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EchoZ
Japan5041 Posts
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arb
Noobville17920 Posts
I haven't had luck in either of my past few ventures. Which is weird cuz its like they ask me to go then act like assholes. like wtf. On January 19 2013 05:52 Alryk wrote: He's been trolling the thread for like 10 pages now, I just ignore it. I'm not sure whether it's from being on a "women are easy" side or a "I can't get a gf so I'm going to troll" side Most women like confidence, but theres a fine line between being Confident and Arrogant | ||
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OkStyX
Canada1199 Posts
On January 26 2013 02:50 Falcynn wrote: Absolutely terrible. Have been hanging out with this girl for a few months now and developed a huge crush on her. Then one night I got stoned and completely drunk with some friends and thought it would be an amazing idea to call her at 1am and spill my heart out to her. Now everything has just been completely awkward for the last week, although I'll admit I made things awkward by being incredibly uncomfortable around her afterwards and not just trying to laugh it off. At this point I just want to try to get things back to normal. Prior to this the only relationships I've had have been with crazy chicks, and I'm not trying to sound bitter, I mean they were legitimately taking meds and seeing therapists. So I guess the "absolutely terrible" part applies to my whole life as well :/ It may have taken old green and some liquid courage but you told her your feelings act like you said what you needed to say and then be her friend . She will appreciate that you were honest . Edit : feelings are nothing to be ashamed about no reason to feel awkward ! | ||
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Enzymatic
Canada1301 Posts
Met my gf just about 2 years ago at wal-mart (was looking to work there just as a part-time weekend job during uni). First day was the infamous "orientation" day, where you have a bunch of new employees that are clueless thrown into a room to be given a briefing and everything. I remember walking into the orientation room during the 1st day.. Saw a bunch of old guys mainly brown dudes, felt a bit out of place.. Then I looked to the other side of the table and saw this fricken gorgeous chick standing out amongst them all, my jaw pretty much dropped (not literally, but you know what I mean). Ever seen The Godfather? It was like that moment when michael is hiding in Italy and see's that chick he marries for the first time, thats the best I can describe it, haha. So anyways, couple hours later was lunch, and we had a 30 min break.. I decided to go to the mall next door to the wal-mart for lunch with some of the new guys to get to know them (they were a LOT older than me, but hey, why not). So we're walking out of the front doors for lunch.. And I see the same girl from orientation standing outside just on the side of the front doors.. Was just standing out there by herself texting.. So I figured I'd ask her if she wanted to come with us as I didn't want anyone to be left out doing nothing. She said sure, and walked with me So we had lunch at the mall food court, good conversation; and just before we were gonna walk back to punch in, I asked her if she lived nearby.. She said yeah.. Then I asked if she had a way home.. She said her mom was gonna pick her up. Then I asked if she wanted to go for coffee or something after work and said I could just drive her home. She said sure, and then phoned her mom to cancel and not pick her up tip for guys regarding this: Don't always do this and straight up ask a chick if she wants a ride home and to do something after meeting them for the first time.. It can catch them as creepy and odd if you don't seem trustworthy, and really backfire. It just has to "feel" right to be able to ask if you are asking someone to do that the same day of meeting them for the first time. Went for coffee after, had a really good time, and pretty much fell in love after the first week of talking to each other. The only somewhat difficult part was she told me up-front that she still had baggage from a past relationship, and had her recent ex stalking her. Was sort of tough for me, but after a few months, it was history. We've been together ever since. Some days are difficult, had our ups and downs obviously with any young relationship that tends to happen (I'm 23, shes 21).. But no matter what, we're always there for each other; have a really, really strong bond. | ||
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Jisall
United States2054 Posts
On January 26 2013 03:59 Shakattak wrote: It may have taken old green and some liquid courage but you told her your feelings act like you said what you needed to say and then be her friend . She will appreciate that you were honest . Edit : feelings are nothing to be ashamed about no reason to feel awkward ! Feelings arn't, but I would act on your feeling in person. Not over the phone. The girl isn't some monster, you can show how much you care by doing nice things for her, instead of telling her how much you care over the phone. | ||
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Mistakes
United States1102 Posts
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sc4k
United Kingdom5454 Posts
On January 26 2013 02:50 Falcynn wrote: Absolutely terrible. Have been hanging out with this girl for a few months now Yeah afaik this is basically a few months too long. Unlucky dude. | ||
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