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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On January 16 2013 09:19 Essbee wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2013 07:59 Alryk wrote:On January 15 2013 15:14 Essbee wrote:On January 15 2013 14:55 Alryk wrote:
So in my opinion from the last couple posts, it seems like some of the people are mixing love with infatuation/attraction/whatever term that isn't love you can insert here. I didn't read Essbee's post, but other people's replies seem to indicate the same thing. I don't think you can imagine being with this girl for the rest of your life before you've actually dated for a good amount of time and gotten to truly know her. There's a reason that a lot of those "whirlwind courtships" or whatever you call it where people get married after a month fail a lot more than stable, multi year relationships. You might think you're in love, but from my personal experience, I think I'm much more in love with my girlfriend now (and starting to think about the future) than I was when I first told her. You can think you're in love when it really is just infatuation. Hmmm I see but I am now confused with this: - Some people will say that you need to hang out with her more rather than confess early. - Others will say that you need to confess quite soon or else you will be considered a friend because you took too much time. :/ Well there's a difference between telling her you're into her, and want to pursue a relationship, and saying "I love you" after barely knowing her, and never dating her. At least, IMO. Edit: Just read your story. My thoughts: 1) It sucks that she was leaving  2) It definitely sounds like infatuation, not love, just to be honest. Knowing somebody for 4 days in my opinion isn't long enough to really "love" them. You need to actually get to know them. How much did you know about her life, her family, her dreams? There's certainly a difference between being infatuated with the outer personality and falling in love with her "inner self" so to speak. 3) You don't have to go full out with an "I love you" or something. Can you really be sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with her after knowing her for 4 days? (not saying that every time you say I love you that's what you mean). You can just tell her you like her, or ask her out on a date again or something. Obviously that's harder with your specific circumstances, but still. As an aside, long distance relationships suck. I've been in one for the better part of the last year, and we're great, but they still suck. I definitely would not recommend it for your first relationship. It will just leave you unhappy. The only reason that ours has worked so well is because I know her so well, and we aren't really a "physically-oriented" relationship. TL;DR exactly what I said the first time. Infatuation is not love, and you can tell a girl you're into her without saying "I love you." That tends to scare people off (same for girls --> boys if you're a girl reading this) Also: Some asian parents are STRICT on dating. I dated a girl in high school completely in secret because she was scared of what her parents might say/do. Like, only our closest friends knew. It was very romeo/julietesque. Except we broke up, and nobody died. I see, this is very interesting.  Do you think I would be able to apologize and ask to meet her one day and maybe go from there? I personally think it's still possible but I also don't want to have false hopes.
1. Apologize ? For what exactly ? As far as I read your story you didn't hurt her or something... You certainly seems to have rushed it but why would you apologize ?
Your feelings were real, you infatuated (?) them and made an awkward confession. Ok, not the smoothest move but apologizing would be even worse. Its weak and sends the wrong message: "I fear I'm losing you so I back off and pretend I'm just a friend".
Dating has a lot in common with Poker. To get the pot you have to take risks, and you did. It was miscalibrated. Apologizing for it would be like folding after being all-in.
2. Hope in the context of dating: Either way, don't create hopes. Get out of the mindset of having hopes and fearing them to be crushed. Hopes is dreaming and creating a fantasy artificially making the stakes higher. You don't even have a relationship yet, the stakes are low, do not infatuate (is that really a verb ?) them (again). While being happy if it succeeds is a great thing, daydreaming about it isn't.
I have a great quote for you: Wanting to control something you can't is suffering.
3. Why would you not contact her if that's your only option ? As long as you still follow step 1 and 2, its perfectly okay to send a message saying you want to meet her at X during Y for activity Z. Add that if she cannot at that exact time, she has to chose another time (or propose yourself different times).
Then forget about it. Once you have thrown the ball, she either send it back or keep it. If she keeps it, let her be and forget it.
You'll either get a yes a answer, a no answer or no answer at all. Either way you'll know. But please please please, do something else dating realted in the meantime it should divert your mind out of this situation and make you less sad in the event of a refusal.
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On January 15 2013 16:58 MiyaviTeddy wrote:
Does anyone have any idea when a girl says that she feels "off" about a relationship?
In my experience, when a girl says something like this, it means she doesn't see you as a potential mate anymore and you're moving more to the 'good friend' stage otherwise known as the friendzone. Basically you have to use some game to recharm them or risk getting dumped.
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On January 16 2013 11:10 rezoacken wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2013 09:19 Essbee wrote:On January 16 2013 07:59 Alryk wrote:On January 15 2013 15:14 Essbee wrote:On January 15 2013 14:55 Alryk wrote:
So in my opinion from the last couple posts, it seems like some of the people are mixing love with infatuation/attraction/whatever term that isn't love you can insert here. I didn't read Essbee's post, but other people's replies seem to indicate the same thing. I don't think you can imagine being with this girl for the rest of your life before you've actually dated for a good amount of time and gotten to truly know her. There's a reason that a lot of those "whirlwind courtships" or whatever you call it where people get married after a month fail a lot more than stable, multi year relationships. You might think you're in love, but from my personal experience, I think I'm much more in love with my girlfriend now (and starting to think about the future) than I was when I first told her. You can think you're in love when it really is just infatuation. Hmmm I see but I am now confused with this: - Some people will say that you need to hang out with her more rather than confess early. - Others will say that you need to confess quite soon or else you will be considered a friend because you took too much time. :/ Well there's a difference between telling her you're into her, and want to pursue a relationship, and saying "I love you" after barely knowing her, and never dating her. At least, IMO. Edit: Just read your story. My thoughts: 1) It sucks that she was leaving 2) It definitely sounds like infatuation, not love, just to be honest. Knowing somebody for 4 days in my opinion isn't long enough to really "love" them. You need to actually get to know them. How much did you know about her life, her family, her dreams? There's certainly a difference between being infatuated with the outer personality and falling in love with her "inner self" so to speak. 3) You don't have to go full out with an "I love you" or something. Can you really be sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with her after knowing her for 4 days? (not saying that every time you say I love you that's what you mean). You can just tell her you like her, or ask her out on a date again or something. Obviously that's harder with your specific circumstances, but still. As an aside, long distance relationships suck. I've been in one for the better part of the last year, and we're great, but they still suck. I definitely would not recommend it for your first relationship. It will just leave you unhappy. The only reason that ours has worked so well is because I know her so well, and we aren't really a "physically-oriented" relationship. TL;DR exactly what I said the first time. Infatuation is not love, and you can tell a girl you're into her without saying "I love you." That tends to scare people off (same for girls --> boys if you're a girl reading this) Also: Some asian parents are STRICT on dating. I dated a girl in high school completely in secret because she was scared of what her parents might say/do. Like, only our closest friends knew. It was very romeo/julietesque. Except we broke up, and nobody died. I see, this is very interesting. Do you think I would be able to apologize and ask to meet her one day and maybe go from there? I personally think it's still possible but I also don't want to have false hopes. 1. Apologize ? For what exactly ? As far as I read your story you didn't hurt her or something... You certainly seems to have rushed it but why would you apologize ? Your feelings were real, you infatuated (?) them and made an awkward confession. Ok, not the smoothest move but apologizing would be even worse. Its weak and sends the wrong message: "I fear I'm losing you so I back off and pretend I'm just a friend". Dating has a lot in common with Poker. To get the pot you have to take risks, and you did. It was miscalibrated. Apologizing for it would be like folding after being all-in. 2. Hope in the context of dating: Either way, don't create hopes. Get out of the mindset of having hopes and fearing them to be crushed. Hopes is dreaming and creating a fantasy artificially making the stakes higher. You don't even have a relationship yet, the stakes are low, do not infatuate (is that really a verb ?) them (again). While being happy if it succeeds is a great thing, daydreaming about it isn't. I have a great quote for you: Wanting to control something you can't is suffering. 3. Why would you not contact her if that's your only option ? As long as you still follow step 1 and 2, its perfectly okay to send a message saying you want to meet her at X during Y for activity Z. Add that if she cannot at that exact time, she has to chose another time (or propose yourself different times). Then forget about it. Once you have thrown the ball, she either send it back or keep it. If she keeps it, let her be and forget it. You'll either get a yes a answer, a no answer or no answer at all. Either way you'll know. But please please please, do something else dating realted in the meantime it should divert your mind out of this situation and make you less sad in the event of a refusal.
Oh yeah I see, it makes sense, I will do that. Thanks for the advices.
When I was saying apologizing, it was because I thought I could apologize for rushing it and making an awkward situation, I dunno... but yeah I see, you are right.
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Yeah well don't worry too much. The elephant is still in the room but the best you can do is not chase it, it's to live with it. Apologizing wouldn't make it all less awkward right ? so don't.
But this time tone it down a bit and go at it step by step. Go back to having a good time.
Don't worry she knows now what you want, so your job is just to guide her and still have the best time ever while around you. She will either follow the steps or just rejects everything, but its up to her, not you.
Anyway... this being long distance doesn't help you either so "good luck" is in order.
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Yep, but I will study 1 year in korea starting next fall so I think I will have plenty of time to meet with her. But yeah, thank you man, really appreciate your feedback.
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Dont forget to say Hi to the other girls, they deserve some attention too. So be a good farmer and spread the seeds for a good harvest 
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After having gone through way too much so far in my life, after being single for such a long time just because I didn't want any of it, felt good being a lone wolf but I finally decided to take the risk with someone and she's amazing. I can definitely say I haven't felt this good in a very long time, meeting her family, meeting her friends, s'all going really good. Staying over during the week-ends, doing lots of stuff together..
It's weird, getting to know that feeling again of being in love, being in a serious relationship, after having forgotten 'bout how good it could be, but one should be able to take the risk to get hurt in order to find happiness with someone beside him/her..
12/1/2013, where I decided that I can allow someone in my life again. (at least when it comes to relationships)
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On January 16 2013 09:19 Essbee wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2013 07:59 Alryk wrote:On January 15 2013 15:14 Essbee wrote:On January 15 2013 14:55 Alryk wrote:
So in my opinion from the last couple posts, it seems like some of the people are mixing love with infatuation/attraction/whatever term that isn't love you can insert here. I didn't read Essbee's post, but other people's replies seem to indicate the same thing. I don't think you can imagine being with this girl for the rest of your life before you've actually dated for a good amount of time and gotten to truly know her. There's a reason that a lot of those "whirlwind courtships" or whatever you call it where people get married after a month fail a lot more than stable, multi year relationships. You might think you're in love, but from my personal experience, I think I'm much more in love with my girlfriend now (and starting to think about the future) than I was when I first told her. You can think you're in love when it really is just infatuation. Hmmm I see but I am now confused with this: - Some people will say that you need to hang out with her more rather than confess early. - Others will say that you need to confess quite soon or else you will be considered a friend because you took too much time. :/ Well there's a difference between telling her you're into her, and want to pursue a relationship, and saying "I love you" after barely knowing her, and never dating her. At least, IMO. Edit: Just read your story. My thoughts: 1) It sucks that she was leaving 2) It definitely sounds like infatuation, not love, just to be honest. Knowing somebody for 4 days in my opinion isn't long enough to really "love" them. You need to actually get to know them. How much did you know about her life, her family, her dreams? There's certainly a difference between being infatuated with the outer personality and falling in love with her "inner self" so to speak. 3) You don't have to go full out with an "I love you" or something. Can you really be sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with her after knowing her for 4 days? (not saying that every time you say I love you that's what you mean). You can just tell her you like her, or ask her out on a date again or something. Obviously that's harder with your specific circumstances, but still. As an aside, long distance relationships suck. I've been in one for the better part of the last year, and we're great, but they still suck. I definitely would not recommend it for your first relationship. It will just leave you unhappy. The only reason that ours has worked so well is because I know her so well, and we aren't really a "physically-oriented" relationship. TL;DR exactly what I said the first time. Infatuation is not love, and you can tell a girl you're into her without saying "I love you." That tends to scare people off (same for girls --> boys if you're a girl reading this) Also: Some asian parents are STRICT on dating. I dated a girl in high school completely in secret because she was scared of what her parents might say/do. Like, only our closest friends knew. It was very romeo/julietesque. Except we broke up, and nobody died. I see, this is very interesting. Do you think I would be able to apologize and ask to meet her one day and maybe go from there? I personally think it's still possible but I also don't want to have false hopes.
Anything is possible, especially when it comes to dating. It depends on how you present yourself, how confident you are, what you say, and possibly a bit on her personality and how weirded out she was or wasn't by what you said earlier. Apologizing isn't the right word though like someone said I guess, "repairing" might be better  it's not like you hurt her like rezoacken I think? said.
If she didn't take it too badly, it's possible you could get some time to see her again. If she's the kind of girl that freaks out at that kind of stuff, or maybe is high maintenance or what not, you might not have as much luck, but then you might not have wanted to date her anyways. (Stuff like that comes out after infatuation wears off; whether or not you're actually compatible)
On January 16 2013 12:44 PLACiDDota wrote:
After having gone through way too much so far in my life, after being single for such a long time just because I didn't want any of it, felt good being a lone wolf but I finally decided to take the risk with someone and she's amazing. I can definitely say I haven't felt this good in a very long time, meeting her family, meeting her friends, s'all going really good. Staying over during the week-ends, doing lots of stuff together..
It's weird, getting to know that feeling again of being in love, being in a serious relationship, after having forgotten 'bout how good it could be, but one should be able to take the risk to get hurt in order to find happiness with someone beside him/her..
12/1/2013, where I decided that I can allow someone in my life again. (at least when it comes to relationships)
1) Congrats
2) Are you a time traveler?
@Esbee again, dating another girl or getting your mind off this one is definitely a good idea. Until you're in a stable relationship (and not when you feel like there could be one, but until you're actually in one), there are a lot of women out there.
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On January 16 2013 09:19 Essbee wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2013 07:59 Alryk wrote:On January 15 2013 15:14 Essbee wrote:On January 15 2013 14:55 Alryk wrote:
So in my opinion from the last couple posts, it seems like some of the people are mixing love with infatuation/attraction/whatever term that isn't love you can insert here. I didn't read Essbee's post, but other people's replies seem to indicate the same thing. I don't think you can imagine being with this girl for the rest of your life before you've actually dated for a good amount of time and gotten to truly know her. There's a reason that a lot of those "whirlwind courtships" or whatever you call it where people get married after a month fail a lot more than stable, multi year relationships. You might think you're in love, but from my personal experience, I think I'm much more in love with my girlfriend now (and starting to think about the future) than I was when I first told her. You can think you're in love when it really is just infatuation. Hmmm I see but I am now confused with this: - Some people will say that you need to hang out with her more rather than confess early. - Others will say that you need to confess quite soon or else you will be considered a friend because you took too much time. :/ Well there's a difference between telling her you're into her, and want to pursue a relationship, and saying "I love you" after barely knowing her, and never dating her. At least, IMO. Edit: Just read your story. My thoughts: 1) It sucks that she was leaving 2) It definitely sounds like infatuation, not love, just to be honest. Knowing somebody for 4 days in my opinion isn't long enough to really "love" them. You need to actually get to know them. How much did you know about her life, her family, her dreams? There's certainly a difference between being infatuated with the outer personality and falling in love with her "inner self" so to speak. 3) You don't have to go full out with an "I love you" or something. Can you really be sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with her after knowing her for 4 days? (not saying that every time you say I love you that's what you mean). You can just tell her you like her, or ask her out on a date again or something. Obviously that's harder with your specific circumstances, but still. As an aside, long distance relationships suck. I've been in one for the better part of the last year, and we're great, but they still suck. I definitely would not recommend it for your first relationship. It will just leave you unhappy. The only reason that ours has worked so well is because I know her so well, and we aren't really a "physically-oriented" relationship. TL;DR exactly what I said the first time. Infatuation is not love, and you can tell a girl you're into her without saying "I love you." That tends to scare people off (same for girls --> boys if you're a girl reading this) Also: Some asian parents are STRICT on dating. I dated a girl in high school completely in secret because she was scared of what her parents might say/do. Like, only our closest friends knew. It was very romeo/julietesque. Except we broke up, and nobody died. I see, this is very interesting. Do you think I would be able to apologize and ask to meet her one day and maybe go from there? I personally think it's still possible but I also don't want to have false hopes.
Just move on. Find someone closer to you. If this girl was willing to talk to you for four days, and found you interesting, other girls will too. You're not in love, you're just caught up on her because it's the first pretty (assuming she is) girl that's talked to you for more than 30 seconds. Go talk to another pretty girl.
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On January 16 2013 13:21 Alryk wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2013 09:19 Essbee wrote:On January 16 2013 07:59 Alryk wrote:On January 15 2013 15:14 Essbee wrote:On January 15 2013 14:55 Alryk wrote:
So in my opinion from the last couple posts, it seems like some of the people are mixing love with infatuation/attraction/whatever term that isn't love you can insert here. I didn't read Essbee's post, but other people's replies seem to indicate the same thing. I don't think you can imagine being with this girl for the rest of your life before you've actually dated for a good amount of time and gotten to truly know her. There's a reason that a lot of those "whirlwind courtships" or whatever you call it where people get married after a month fail a lot more than stable, multi year relationships. You might think you're in love, but from my personal experience, I think I'm much more in love with my girlfriend now (and starting to think about the future) than I was when I first told her. You can think you're in love when it really is just infatuation. Hmmm I see but I am now confused with this: - Some people will say that you need to hang out with her more rather than confess early. - Others will say that you need to confess quite soon or else you will be considered a friend because you took too much time. :/ Well there's a difference between telling her you're into her, and want to pursue a relationship, and saying "I love you" after barely knowing her, and never dating her. At least, IMO. Edit: Just read your story. My thoughts: 1) It sucks that she was leaving 2) It definitely sounds like infatuation, not love, just to be honest. Knowing somebody for 4 days in my opinion isn't long enough to really "love" them. You need to actually get to know them. How much did you know about her life, her family, her dreams? There's certainly a difference between being infatuated with the outer personality and falling in love with her "inner self" so to speak. 3) You don't have to go full out with an "I love you" or something. Can you really be sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with her after knowing her for 4 days? (not saying that every time you say I love you that's what you mean). You can just tell her you like her, or ask her out on a date again or something. Obviously that's harder with your specific circumstances, but still. As an aside, long distance relationships suck. I've been in one for the better part of the last year, and we're great, but they still suck. I definitely would not recommend it for your first relationship. It will just leave you unhappy. The only reason that ours has worked so well is because I know her so well, and we aren't really a "physically-oriented" relationship. TL;DR exactly what I said the first time. Infatuation is not love, and you can tell a girl you're into her without saying "I love you." That tends to scare people off (same for girls --> boys if you're a girl reading this) Also: Some asian parents are STRICT on dating. I dated a girl in high school completely in secret because she was scared of what her parents might say/do. Like, only our closest friends knew. It was very romeo/julietesque. Except we broke up, and nobody died. I see, this is very interesting. Do you think I would be able to apologize and ask to meet her one day and maybe go from there? I personally think it's still possible but I also don't want to have false hopes. Anything is possible, especially when it comes to dating. It depends on how you present yourself, how confident you are, what you say, and possibly a bit on her personality and how weirded out she was or wasn't by what you said earlier. Apologizing isn't the right word though like someone said I guess, "repairing" might be better it's not like you hurt her like rezoacken I think? said. If she didn't take it too badly, it's possible you could get some time to see her again. If she's the kind of girl that freaks out at that kind of stuff, or maybe is high maintenance or what not, you might not have as much luck, but then you might not have wanted to date her anyways. (Stuff like that comes out after infatuation wears off; whether or not you're actually compatible) Show nested quote +On January 16 2013 12:44 PLACiDDota wrote:
After having gone through way too much so far in my life, after being single for such a long time just because I didn't want any of it, felt good being a lone wolf but I finally decided to take the risk with someone and she's amazing. I can definitely say I haven't felt this good in a very long time, meeting her family, meeting her friends, s'all going really good. Staying over during the week-ends, doing lots of stuff together..
It's weird, getting to know that feeling again of being in love, being in a serious relationship, after having forgotten 'bout how good it could be, but one should be able to take the risk to get hurt in order to find happiness with someone beside him/her..
12/1/2013, where I decided that I can allow someone in my life again. (at least when it comes to relationships) 1) Congrats 2) Are you a time traveler? @Esbee again, dating another girl or getting your mind off this one is definitely a good idea. Until you're in a stable relationship (and not when you feel like there could be one, but until you're actually in one), there are a lot of women out there.
Ehm, over here dates are usually put as day-month-year, not month-day-year. Can change it if it makes you feel more comfortable.
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So you've been seeing this girl for four days?
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On January 16 2013 22:48 PLACiDDota wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2013 13:21 Alryk wrote:On January 16 2013 09:19 Essbee wrote:On January 16 2013 07:59 Alryk wrote:On January 15 2013 15:14 Essbee wrote:On January 15 2013 14:55 Alryk wrote:
So in my opinion from the last couple posts, it seems like some of the people are mixing love with infatuation/attraction/whatever term that isn't love you can insert here. I didn't read Essbee's post, but other people's replies seem to indicate the same thing. I don't think you can imagine being with this girl for the rest of your life before you've actually dated for a good amount of time and gotten to truly know her. There's a reason that a lot of those "whirlwind courtships" or whatever you call it where people get married after a month fail a lot more than stable, multi year relationships. You might think you're in love, but from my personal experience, I think I'm much more in love with my girlfriend now (and starting to think about the future) than I was when I first told her. You can think you're in love when it really is just infatuation. Hmmm I see but I am now confused with this: - Some people will say that you need to hang out with her more rather than confess early. - Others will say that you need to confess quite soon or else you will be considered a friend because you took too much time. :/ Well there's a difference between telling her you're into her, and want to pursue a relationship, and saying "I love you" after barely knowing her, and never dating her. At least, IMO. Edit: Just read your story. My thoughts: 1) It sucks that she was leaving 2) It definitely sounds like infatuation, not love, just to be honest. Knowing somebody for 4 days in my opinion isn't long enough to really "love" them. You need to actually get to know them. How much did you know about her life, her family, her dreams? There's certainly a difference between being infatuated with the outer personality and falling in love with her "inner self" so to speak. 3) You don't have to go full out with an "I love you" or something. Can you really be sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with her after knowing her for 4 days? (not saying that every time you say I love you that's what you mean). You can just tell her you like her, or ask her out on a date again or something. Obviously that's harder with your specific circumstances, but still. As an aside, long distance relationships suck. I've been in one for the better part of the last year, and we're great, but they still suck. I definitely would not recommend it for your first relationship. It will just leave you unhappy. The only reason that ours has worked so well is because I know her so well, and we aren't really a "physically-oriented" relationship. TL;DR exactly what I said the first time. Infatuation is not love, and you can tell a girl you're into her without saying "I love you." That tends to scare people off (same for girls --> boys if you're a girl reading this) Also: Some asian parents are STRICT on dating. I dated a girl in high school completely in secret because she was scared of what her parents might say/do. Like, only our closest friends knew. It was very romeo/julietesque. Except we broke up, and nobody died. I see, this is very interesting. Do you think I would be able to apologize and ask to meet her one day and maybe go from there? I personally think it's still possible but I also don't want to have false hopes. Anything is possible, especially when it comes to dating. It depends on how you present yourself, how confident you are, what you say, and possibly a bit on her personality and how weirded out she was or wasn't by what you said earlier. Apologizing isn't the right word though like someone said I guess, "repairing" might be better it's not like you hurt her like rezoacken I think? said. If she didn't take it too badly, it's possible you could get some time to see her again. If she's the kind of girl that freaks out at that kind of stuff, or maybe is high maintenance or what not, you might not have as much luck, but then you might not have wanted to date her anyways. (Stuff like that comes out after infatuation wears off; whether or not you're actually compatible) On January 16 2013 12:44 PLACiDDota wrote:
After having gone through way too much so far in my life, after being single for such a long time just because I didn't want any of it, felt good being a lone wolf but I finally decided to take the risk with someone and she's amazing. I can definitely say I haven't felt this good in a very long time, meeting her family, meeting her friends, s'all going really good. Staying over during the week-ends, doing lots of stuff together..
It's weird, getting to know that feeling again of being in love, being in a serious relationship, after having forgotten 'bout how good it could be, but one should be able to take the risk to get hurt in order to find happiness with someone beside him/her..
12/1/2013, where I decided that I can allow someone in my life again. (at least when it comes to relationships) 1) Congrats 2) Are you a time traveler? @Esbee again, dating another girl or getting your mind off this one is definitely a good idea. Until you're in a stable relationship (and not when you feel like there could be one, but until you're actually in one), there are a lot of women out there. Ehm, over here dates are usually put as day-month-year, not month-day-year. Can change it if it makes you feel more comfortable.
oh haha no its perfectly fine. I didn't think about that because there was no country next to your name
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I did have one relationship last year and it was pretty terribad lol
In short: I had not been with anyone for a looong time, so I really wanted someone to love me and me loving her.
So I hit the first girl I can find and suceed (wtf?)
She lives kinda far away and things go fast. Which is normal because if we don't see each other often the relation will go to hell. I tell her I love her first.
Then a few weeks later I realize I really don't. Just was really desperate to have a relationship. Maybe she was in the same vibe, dunno. I keep trying to make it work but it just gets worse.
I dump her.
Everything happened in less than 5 months. Now she hates me and she has good reasons lol. FAIL much.
So my tip is: Don't do what I did. Be sure about your feeling before and don't force yourselves to love someone just to have a partner.
Also ProTip: Don't get friendzoned. It hurts, a lot. If you are interested in some girl tell her ASAP before becoming super friends, I did not, and she broke my heart into tiny pieces. Friend relationships don't break because of someone asking the other out, at least not in a serious adult life.
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Well I'm in high school and just got out of a relationship with a girl I really liked. It was working out really well, both of us were happy. Then, she heard from another person that I wasn't a Christian (Which is something I thought she knew when we were going into the relationship), and decided that God was an important person in her life (I really, really wanted to interject with "Oh yea? When's the last time you two spoke?" ) and she dumped me. Oh, the world we live in :D
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On January 17 2013 04:13 Chance.Gilbert wrote:Well I'm in high school and just got out of a relationship with a girl I really liked. It was working out really well, both of us were happy. Then, she heard from another person that I wasn't a Christian (Which is something I thought she knew when we were going into the relationship), and decided that God was an important person in her life (I really, really wanted to interject with "Oh yea? When's the last time you two spoke?" ) and she dumped me. Oh, the world we live in :D
lol, tough luck. You got dumped in favor of a bearded, old dude, who likes to hide in burning bushes scaring passing shepherds by suddenly appointing them missions. Whatever floats her boat, right? :D
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On January 17 2013 04:13 Chance.Gilbert wrote:Well I'm in high school and just got out of a relationship with a girl I really liked. It was working out really well, both of us were happy. Then, she heard from another person that I wasn't a Christian (Which is something I thought she knew when we were going into the relationship), and decided that God was an important person in her life (I really, really wanted to interject with "Oh yea? When's the last time you two spoke?" ) and she dumped me. Oh, the world we live in :D
Think of it as you dodging a bullet and be happy about it. She's obviously super way into her religion of choice and you are clearly not religious at all. Things weren't going to work there.
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On January 17 2013 05:19 REDBLUEGREEN wrote:Show nested quote +On January 17 2013 04:13 Chance.Gilbert wrote:Well I'm in high school and just got out of a relationship with a girl I really liked. It was working out really well, both of us were happy. Then, she heard from another person that I wasn't a Christian (Which is something I thought she knew when we were going into the relationship), and decided that God was an important person in her life (I really, really wanted to interject with "Oh yea? When's the last time you two spoke?" ) and she dumped me. Oh, the world we live in :D lol, tough luck. You got dumped in favor of a bearded, old dude, who likes to hide in burning bushes scaring passing shepherds by suddenly appointing them missions. Whatever floats her boat, right? :D
Hahahaha, yup :D
On January 17 2013 05:53 Zooper31 wrote:Show nested quote +On January 17 2013 04:13 Chance.Gilbert wrote:Well I'm in high school and just got out of a relationship with a girl I really liked. It was working out really well, both of us were happy. Then, she heard from another person that I wasn't a Christian (Which is something I thought she knew when we were going into the relationship), and decided that God was an important person in her life (I really, really wanted to interject with "Oh yea? When's the last time you two spoke?" ) and she dumped me. Oh, the world we live in :D Think of it as you dodging a bullet and be happy about it. She's obviously super way into her religion of choice and you are clearly not religious at all. Things weren't going to work there.
No, I'm not religious. I'm kinda happy that she ended it before we got WAYYY into the relationship.
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On January 17 2013 04:13 Chance.Gilbert wrote:Well I'm in high school and just got out of a relationship with a girl I really liked. It was working out really well, both of us were happy. Then, she heard from another person that I wasn't a Christian (Which is something I thought she knew when we were going into the relationship), and decided that God was an important person in her life (I really, really wanted to interject with "Oh yea? When's the last time you two spoke?" ) and she dumped me. Oh, the world we live in :D
I might be a fairly religious christian, but people who can't interact with non-christians bother me >.> I've had some of my most memorable/favorite conversations with 2 different friends, both of whom are agnostic.
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Asking TL for advice about this does not sound like the best idea in my head...but fuck it, i do need some.
Ive started getting feelings for this girl at work, problem is she is in a longterm relationship...and we work in a restaurant(Im a chef, shes a waitress) with only about 10 people working there i see her every day.
Question; How do you force yourself to...stop liking/stop thinking about someone
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EPT
