EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 801
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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Jerubaal
United States7684 Posts
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
but since you said texts, voicemails and phone calls we assumed it was a lot more than that I'd be pretty weirded out by someone who in this day and age where its super unlikely I haven't received the persons messages who doesn't even have the patience to wait for my reply for a few days And think about it from your perspective - you reached out, she ignored you, dating is all about seeing if the person is right for you and is willing to put in the effort. If she doesn't even reply to your message she probably isn't and you should move on and if you keep bombarding her with follow up messages you're shooting yourself in the foot and won't find out if she is right for you Wait for her to be in touch after a date and if she isn't just give her a call, optionally send her one text right after and that's all you have to do. | ||
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Jerubaal
United States7684 Posts
I honestly don't know what world you live in though. Unless you are on a totally blind date or something (it was our second date and we had been texting pretty regularly in between), who would just go cold for days afterward? Cut the bullshit, we know almost everyone is glued to their phones for hours a day. If you can't be bothered to send a "ttyl" for days, you're a flake. I wouldn't do that to the barest of acquaintances. Really, this is just humans not acclimating to the new technology yet. If someone walked into a room and said your name you wouldn't just ignore them and then accuse them of being pushy if they said your name a second time. | ||
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Jerubaal
United States7684 Posts
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waffelz
Germany711 Posts
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Acrofales
Spain18291 Posts
On February 20 2016 09:41 Jerubaal wrote: I'm going to try to cut the hostility out of my post. I could explain in painstaking detail how you made wrong assumptions, but honestly it's none of your business and it would just be a waste of everyone's time. Try not to jump to conclusions next time please. I honestly don't know what world you live in though. Unless you are on a totally blind date or something (it was our second date and we had been texting pretty regularly in between), who would just go cold for days afterward? Cut the bullshit, we know almost everyone is glued to their phones for hours a day. If you can't be bothered to send a "ttyl" for days, you're a flake. I wouldn't do that to the barest of acquaintances. Really, this is just humans not acclimating to the new technology yet. If someone walked into a room and said your name you wouldn't just ignore them and then accuse them of being pushy if they said your name a second time. Bad analogy. What you are actually doing is walking into an empty room with one other person there. You start talking and that person pointedly ignores you. You think they might not have heard you, so you move a bit closer and speak louder. If they are still ignoring you, you can safely assume they do not want to talk to you. While that is quite rude, it is also rude if you insist on moving closer and talking louder. Leave that person be. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
I do agree with you that it is a cop out rejection and I'm pretty sure we had this exact debate with further back in this thread before. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
1) she just wants something cool to write you . There's just girls that'll draft and re-write the perfect message, and that stuff takes time. My GF does it all the time she always has loads of drafts she never sent because they weren't "cool enough" no matter how much I tell her how stupid that is 2) maybe there's another guy in the picture, she's sorting out her feelings + subconsciously looking for who's the less needy one. 3) straight up test from girls that have been burned by pushy guys/stalkers before. You're a girl that is seeing someone she doesn't know almost at all when all you've been on is a couple dinner dates. All you can see is the small signs during and in-between dates that you can go by, rape an d toxic personality is a real concern when dealing with strangers. If I was a girl I'd totally do this too on purpose and insta reject a guy who can't even wait for my reply for a couple days 4) and you know...maybe she's genuinely busy... and combined with 1) it really can take several days to get back to you, especially if your texting game is shit/overcomplicated and you texted anything other than "I'd love to see you when are you free to get together" and even then it can take a few days to figure her schedule. | ||
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
And Jerubaal I know you would like an answer back, even if its rejection, but thats simply not the way most people work. I also used to be like that but now I have "come at peace" with rejection through being ignored. Entering the job market and frequently looking for and applying for jobs will do that to you ;p | ||
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[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
On February 21 2016 00:27 WarSame wrote: Just treat it as an exception and be happily surprised if it isn't. We've been over this before. Look at it like game theory. If they let you down then at best you accept it, at worst you flip out. If they cut off contact then at best you wonder what happened, at worst you wonder what happened. For them, as a logical actor, silence is the best option. I'd be down to try and get this into its own body of work. The game theory behind dating. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On February 21 2016 08:58 B.I.G. wrote: Come on Lemon, be real. If someone takes several days to reply to a text you can safely assume you are pretty damn low on the priority list. They've been on two dinner dates Do you expect to get the presidential priority treatment, when pretty much every single smart attractive girl has countless options and guys trying to bag her? Women fall in love slowly is what you need to understand - just because at first she takes her time doesn't mean she won't start blowing up your phone a few weeks down the line, and that's the way things usually happen. That's why I'd personally prefer to date multiple women when single when dating was my priority because it was bugging me too - that's just the way girls are. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
Talked to my friend yesterday. Her roomate had been partying and talked about guys with a girl. The girl she talked with I had planned on dating but we agreed not to after pushing the date for a while. Anyway, she had apparently showed the conversation she had with me to the roomate. The roomate said she seemed disappointed that we never went on a date. I'm doing something right at least. Feelsgoodmang.jpg | ||
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Laurens
Belgium4557 Posts
On February 22 2016 20:00 bloodwhore~ wrote: I'm doing something right at least. Entertaining TL readers for ~8 months or however long you've been posting here. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On February 22 2016 23:28 Laurens wrote: Entertaining TL readers for ~8 months or however long you've been posting here. Hue, that too. But to make an impression like that so that it reaches me, that's kinda amazing. | ||
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LaNague
Germany9118 Posts
I was shopping for glasses and in that one store a female salesperson was helping me out for an hour, it was very pleasent but well its a salesperson and eye contact also is part of the job. What i did pick up was that she asked "is there anything else i can do for you" after i bought 2 glasses and it was 30 mins past closing time, but again, salesperson. IF she handles me when i pick up my glasses, would it be too much to just give her my number again and telling her to call me if she wants to? Dont want to creep someone that has to be nice to me. Also any germans want to tell me if i need to switch to the informal way of adressing her when giving my number? I dont think i ever thought about a problem like that. | ||
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Fi0na
0 Posts
On February 24 2016 21:48 LaNague wrote: Need some opinion. I was shopping for glasses and in that one store a female salesperson was helping me out for an hour, it was very pleasent but well its a salesperson and eye contact also is part of the job. What i did pick up was that she asked "is there anything else i can do for you" after i bought 2 glasses and it was 30 mins past closing time, but again, salesperson. IF she handles me when i pick up my glasses, would it be too much to just give her my number again and telling her to call me if she wants to? Dont want to creep someone that has to be nice to me. Also any germans want to tell me if i need to switch to the informal way of adressing her when giving my number? I dont think i ever thought about a problem like that. Do not switch to formal. It makes her feel old and puts quite the distance between you two. But if you think about switching to formal, maybe that is just your gut telling you she is way older? :p I hope you pick up your glasses soon or she will probably have forgotten you. Either way I think it is perfectly fine to just leave your number on a piece of paper, tell her that you enjoyed talking to her when picking your glasses and if she ever wants to grab a coffee or something is welcome to call you. If you don't have your number prepared she will need to enter it into her phone or get something to write it down. At this point you are already coming off strong, forcing her to enter your number when she might not be interested. A piece of paper is old-fashioned but not as pushy/creepy and leaves her with plausible deniability as well as curiosity about you. Also she might not be there when you pick up your glasses. Good luck! | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
"You seem really cool, how about we go grab a coffee outside of your work sometime, when are you free to get together?" boom, done. Just be casual about it, use a "by the way, obvious kind of thing" tone and she can let you down super easy with don't date customers line. If you do it right she should be flattered, not creeped out if she says no. | ||
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Kleinmuuhg
Vanuatu4091 Posts
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LaNague
Germany9118 Posts
I dont have problems with women, i just had problems with the enviroment i was in BTW | ||
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