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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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fishjie
United States1519 Posts
If you do interesting things you are no longer a boring person. No one who has traveled around the world and experienced new cultures and made new friends is dull. You may have started off as a boring dull person, but by pushing yourself outside your comfort zone, you will have transformed into a more confident person. It will show. Disclaimer: Did a solo trip to mongolia and wandered the steppes of war and came back a changed man :D | ||
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LeLfe
France3160 Posts
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Grumbels
Netherlands7032 Posts
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Maluk
France987 Posts
On December 03 2014 17:20 fishjie wrote: Disagree If you do interesting things you are no longer a boring person. No one who has traveled around the world and experienced new cultures and made new friends is dull. You may have started off as a boring dull person, but by pushing yourself outside your comfort zone, you will have transformed into a more confident person. It will show. I'm pretty sure peeps like Plotinus did tons of interesting things and were still very "boring" people, at least when you would consider dating them. Not all experiences make you "interesting" in the perspective of dating. | ||
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farvacola
United States18858 Posts
Please reflect for a moment on how lacking that bit of logic is..... Specific activities do not an interesting man make, rather how that person engages in said activities and incorporates them into his perspective on life. The boring, well-traveled person is very real, as is the exciting and dynamic homebody. Coming up with rigid categories based on non-essential characteristics is part of how nerds overthink interacting with the opposite sex, and it should be avoided. | ||
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Mikau
Netherlands1446 Posts
Traveling doesn't make you interesting just like sitting at home reading a book won't make you boring. It's all about how you present it, both to yourself and to others. | ||
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Erasme
Bahamas15899 Posts
One can have the most interesting life but if he cant talk about it, nobody will know and it won't matter | ||
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Najda
United States3765 Posts
On December 03 2014 19:15 LeLfe wrote: did you bunker rush there? (sorry had to) The 12 drone rush on that map was unreal though. | ||
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MysteryMeat1
United States3292 Posts
On December 04 2014 00:01 Najda wrote: The 12 drone rush on that map was unreal though. Nightmares tonight... | ||
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Xiphos
Canada7507 Posts
" A couple of questions you should always be asking yourself: "Is this woman the mother of my child?" "Can I do better?" "Can I tolerate living with this person for the rest of my life?" " turned into this On December 03 2014 13:08 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: I agree; I just don't think that the three answers you need to know by the end of your first date- regardless of how old or experienced you are- are "Is this woman the mother of my child?", "Can I do better?", and "Can I tolerate living with this person for the rest of my life?", which is what Xiphos said. But listen, the examples I've used was only to screen our general interest and future prospect. You can easily separate girls w/ motherly qualities and girls w/o even on the first date. Ask her about her family structure, is she the older sibling? Ask her about any volunteer/charity work that she participate in. Does she have any pets? If so, how does she take care of it? When she doesn't have experience in taking care of younger siblings/another being and doesn't care about the world in a positive manner, you can easily speculate whether or not she will be a responsible mother or not. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States45979 Posts
On December 04 2014 02:32 Xiphos wrote: What a guy! " A couple of questions you should always be asking yourself: "Is this woman the mother of my child?" "Can I do better?" "Can I tolerate living with this person for the rest of my life?" " turned into this Um, exactly? Did you read what you wrote? You said you should always be asking yourself those 3 questions, and you said that to a person who hadn't even had a first official date yet with this girl he was thinking about. Don't take this out of context. That was the advice you gave someone who wanted to enter into a relationship (while he was still in school, mind you), not someone who's been dating his girlfriend for a few months or years and is thinking about settling down. Your advice of those three questions is great for that small group of people (dating someone for a while, older and self-sufficient enough to be thinking about marriage and kids), but not for the vast majority of TLers or young daters- and especially not for the person who you replied to. Give him relevant advice. Some people aren't prepared to think 10+ years down the road, nor should they always need to. | ||
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Grumbels
Netherlands7032 Posts
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Slayers_Red.Cracker
36 Posts
On December 03 2014 22:47 Erasme wrote: being interesting is all about being able to sell yourself One can have the most interesting life but if he cant talk about it, nobody will know and it won't matter Nah people that try too hard to sell themselves are superficial and not interesting. Generally you find that people "go along" with the superficial bullshit, because it's the way of least resistance, but behind their backs the world is making fun of the people that have to brag about how interesting they are. If you wanna be interesting, just go do shit with other people, have fun, get into situations. Your friends will say stuff about the awesome shit they did with you, just like you talk about the awesome shit you did with your friends. When people start asking you about whether it's really true, and when you don't really feel the need to prove it, but you're also not denying the story, that's when you start to become interesting. | ||
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
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Najda
United States3765 Posts
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States45979 Posts
On December 04 2014 07:22 Grumbels wrote: I'm trying to set two of my friends up, but both of them are loath to come out of their house and take any sort of initiative. They really are the sort of people that need to be told what to do before they realize their opportunities. I was thinking I would need to find interactions for them that could be framed as having a romantic dimension, because if I just put them in a room together they will merely have polite conversation while being too shy to do anything else. It's kind of complex. :o Honestly it sounds like you're trying to force something that just isn't going to happen based on their personalities. I love playing matchmaker, but they need to be willing participants :/ I'd leave it alone. | ||
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Epishade
United States2267 Posts
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States45979 Posts
On December 04 2014 10:45 Epishade wrote: I see a lot of recent posts about selling myself, but I'm not sure how much to charge per hour. Can someone give advice on this? Depends on which street corner you're going to turn tricks. | ||
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Acrofales
Spain18299 Posts
On December 04 2014 09:40 WarSame wrote: In that case I agree with you. However, too often I see people focus on the marketing side of things rather than the product side of things. If you already have a product then marketing is great. That's just the thing, though. Almost everyone has a product. Maybe their product isn't for you, but their product is for someone. However, most people have absolutely no idea how to market themselves even to their target audience. And this metaphor is about as stretched as it can get without breaking, but hopefully the point is clear. Even the person who sits at home and watches reruns of Lost ad infinitum has something interesting to talk about with somebody (although it wouldn't be me), and if he spins a good story about his life, and can talk engagingly about the stuff he likes to do, THAT makes him interesting, not the activities. Although obviously doing things that a lot of people (the general public) find interesting helps with spinning an interesting story. It is simply easier to engage people when talking about how awesome your trip to Australia was than it is when explaining why S05E14 is the best episode of Lost. | ||
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