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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
Mexico2170 Posts
From my experience most of the "nerdy girls" i've met have that part of themself hidden. Well, its not a secret, they just don't talk about, kind of like, go to partys/talk girl stuff in person/then go to their house and play games. Also depending on the games you play you might encounter more or less girls, for example, in percentage, way more women play WoW like they play sc2, so if you are looking for a gamer girl, maybe you can try that (not saying this in a misoginistic way, or trying to be rude or anything).
But since you've gone over that topic...
Chocolate, i would suggest to you just trying to be yourself, as you've said it is eeasier to atrack girls which you don0t have any interest because you are more confident when you talk with them, aren't afraid of saying anything wrong and that kind of stuff. You should try (and I, and everyone) to talk to the girls you like that way. But don't try too hard, just do it, if you think a lot about it and well yeah, try too hard they are going to notice, you just gotta be yourself and roll with it withouth thinking much about it. I've found that works pretty well. Show some interest of course, but just talk to them normally otherwise.
So just don't try to hard, just do it withouth thinking a lot about it, just think it for a second and go, no more, at least that works for me.
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On November 03 2014 10:50 Chocolate wrote:
Also this is kind of unrelated but is there a way to like psyche yourself into becoming more confident around attractive women? I've realized that I always do a much better job at getting girls I don't really like to like me because I just generally don't give a shit around them whereas girls I actually like make me nervous.
Yeah. It's called being in a relationship =D
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United States15275 Posts
On November 03 2014 10:50 Chocolate wrote:
I'm mostly just tired of hooking up / having booty calls and want to meet a nice girl that is interested in a relationship but isn't a prude.
There are many nice non-prude girls out there interested in relationships. You can meet them by hooking up, talking to them, encountering each other at social events, pretty much anywhere possible. Keep an open mind.
On November 03 2014 10:50 Chocolate wrote:
You seem to think my problem is that I am not attractive enough when I think the problem I am really running in to is that women that I think would make good partners for me aren't interested in commitment and I don't know if I'm approaching this with the wrong mindset/attitude (i.e. I'm silly for wanting a relationship) or what. It's not as if I'm asking girls on dates or continually being rejected for trying to make things serious though.
To be fair, there's no reason for you to think you have a problem in that area. After all, you are having casual sex with multiple women. In the eyes of most men, who struggle to even initiate a conversation with one they're attracted to, that makes you "successful" with them. And that's the socially constructed proof for the term.
But you're not happy. If you were really meeting the girls you liked, you wouldn't be posting here. Instead you're having unfulfilling sex with girls who aren't that good-looking (judging from your question below), and everyone you like beyond that doesn't want a relationship with you. Not only that, but even the easy lays don't like you enough to bring up the question. So yes, you do have an attraction problem. It's just not the one you were initially supposing.
A relationship is not something you should be worried about at this stage in your life. Right now, you're still in the process of figuring out your limitations and desires. That also includes the type of women you're sexually attracted to versus the type of women you want to have an interdependent relationship with. Usually those two coincide, but it takes a long time for most people to reconcile the two. In short, don't put too much pressure on yourself to find someone. Focus your energy on becoming the person who can make this hypothetical girl's life amazing.
On November 03 2014 10:50 Chocolate wrote:
Also this is kind of unrelated but is there a way to like psyche yourself into becoming more confident around attractive women?
There are many ways to do that but the last thing you need is a crutch to prop up your ego. The best way to overcome approach anxiety is desensitization. Go out and meet hot women until you can logically and emotionally accept there is no appreciable difference between them and other girls. It only exists in your mind.
On November 03 2014 10:50 Chocolate wrote:I've realized that I always do a much better job at getting girls I don't really like to like me because I just generally don't give a shit around them whereas girls I actually like make me nervous.
Of course. When men have no dependence on the outcome. they generally express all the traits that attract women in the first place. It's only when something is at risk that they lose their self-esteem and start doubting themselves.
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This morning I got laid for the first time in I don't even want to say how long. We went on a road trip a month and a half ago, I told her I had a crush on her and got rejected. Okay, fine, she's still my best friend... then last week we got drunk at a party and she's pressing up against me the entire time, her roommate is dropping us off at my house and she announces that she's coming in, the next thing I know she's in my arms kissing me... sometimes life just works out. It's stupid how a thing like this changes your outlook, it would be nice not to need anyone but damn does it feel good not to be sleeping alone. She's the best, she cooks incredible vegetarian food, doesn't wear makeup, will go camping with me, and can talk about Deleuze... what more could a guy want
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On November 04 2014 03:15 bookwyrm wrote:
This morning I got laid for the first time in I don't even want to say how long. We went on a road trip a month and a half ago, I told her I had a crush on her and got rejected. Okay, fine, she's still my best friend... then last week we got drunk at a party and she's pressing up against me the entire time, her roommate is dropping us off at my house and she announces that she's coming in, the next thing I know she's in my arms kissing me... sometimes life just works out. It's stupid how a thing like this changes your outlook, it would be nice not to need anyone but damn does it feel good not to be sleeping alone. She's the best, she cooks incredible vegetarian food, doesn't wear makeup, will go camping with me, and can talk about Deleuze... what more could a guy want
congrats buddy
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On November 04 2014 03:15 bookwyrm wrote:
This morning I got laid for the first time in I don't even want to say how long. We went on a road trip a month and a half ago, I told her I had a crush on her and got rejected. Okay, fine, she's still my best friend... then last week we got drunk at a party and she's pressing up against me the entire time, her roommate is dropping us off at my house and she announces that she's coming in, the next thing I know she's in my arms kissing me... sometimes life just works out. It's stupid how a thing like this changes your outlook, it would be nice not to need anyone but damn does it feel good not to be sleeping alone. She's the best, she cooks incredible vegetarian food, doesn't wear makeup, will go camping with me, and can talk about Deleuze... what more could a guy want
way to go champ
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Vegetarian food, -1
Can talk about Deleuze, + indefinite quantity
You lucky sonuvabitch.
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On November 04 2014 07:52 farvacola wrote:
Vegetarian food, -1
Can talk about Deleuze, + indefinite quantity
You lucky sonuvabitch.
I would not trust a girl who read Deleuze. Schizophrenia and girls don't do good things.
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On November 02 2014 09:23 Zooper31 wrote:
A costume and drinks totally brings me out of my shell. Got a number from a cute chick dressed as a fox from that certain song/music video. Thought she was there with her boyfriend and all of a sudden she brings it up saying that's just her good friend and she thinks of him as her brother and he's not her type, ok... lol. Gonna wait a day or two before contacting her when I actually have some time off and see if we can meet up.
She texted me first. Score!
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On November 04 2014 08:17 WhiteDog wrote:Show nested quote +On November 04 2014 07:52 farvacola wrote:
Vegetarian food, -1
Can talk about Deleuze, + indefinite quantity
You lucky sonuvabitch. I would not trust a girl who read Deleuze. Schizophrenia and girls don't do good things.
She has her difficulties 
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On November 03 2014 14:39 CosmicSpiral wrote:
Of course. When men have no dependence on the outcome. they generally express all the traits that attract women in the first place. It's only when something is at risk that they lose their self-esteem and start doubting themselves.
You either really know your shit, or you're rather convincing at writing.
That's exactly my problem! If I'm really excited about a girl, I know I have no chance in hell, but if I just want to have a nice time for a night or three and then move on, they usually seem super into me and try to pressure me into being their boyfriend.
But how will I ever get a fulfilling relationship again if I can't show a girl that I'm into her beyond liking her body?
The last really great relationship I had was my very first one, and that included meeting at 15, moving in together at 17, getting engaged at 18 and breaking up at 20.
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I met a girl friday night who agree'd to go out with me. She seemed way too good looking for me but i figured what the fuck why not.
Get to her house that evening and thats when I realize i am way too deep bc she looks like someone who should be in a magazine or something not anywhere near me tbh. We go out to a bar, made it clear to her before hand id buy whatever, we have a few drinks. says she has to go to the bathroom(lol right) Takes her a bit longer than i figured fo rsomeone needing to use it so im like whatever, she comes back we talk for a few more minutes. Says she wants to go home, I'm like okay i'll take you on then after i pay. Tells me not to worry she went ahead and paid and her friend is waiting outside.
so im like uh okay. told me she had a good time we'd talk later(also bullshit) but whatever.
Havent talked to her sense and feel no reason to.
Guess it didnt go too bad but whateveer. still retarded as fuckkkkk.
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I don't get the whole mindset of "she's too good looking for me," especially after she already agreed to go on a date with you. Just be the person she agreed to go on a date with and have fun.
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On November 04 2014 13:04 arb wrote:
I met a girl friday night who agree'd to go out with me. She seemed way too good looking for me but i figured what the fuck why not.
Get to her house that evening and thats when I realize i am way too deep bc she looks like someone who should be in a magazine or something not anywhere near me tbh. We go out to a bar, made it clear to her before hand id buy whatever, we have a few drinks. says she has to go to the bathroom(lol right) Takes her a bit longer than i figured fo rsomeone needing to use it so im like whatever, she comes back we talk for a few more minutes. Says she wants to go home, I'm like okay i'll take you on then after i pay. Tells me not to worry she went ahead and paid and her friend is waiting outside.
so im like uh okay. told me she had a good time we'd talk later(also bullshit) but whatever.
Havent talked to her sense and feel no reason to.
Guess it didnt go too bad but whateveer. still retarded as fuckkkkk.
Didn't pay! Sounds like a win in my book.
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Mexico2170 Posts
Haha yeah, at least you didn't pay  but the other guy is right is not that someone is way too hot for you (well most of the time at least) it just didn't work out for other reasons
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On November 04 2014 13:37 Najda wrote:
I don't get the whole mindset of "she's too good looking for me," especially after she already agreed to go on a date with you. Just be the person she agreed to go on a date with and have fun.
I feel like we had fun, told a bunch of stories and what not i guess.
It was like I got reverse catfished though.
On November 04 2014 15:05 Epishade wrote:Show nested quote +On November 04 2014 13:04 arb wrote:
I met a girl friday night who agree'd to go out with me. She seemed way too good looking for me but i figured what the fuck why not.
Get to her house that evening and thats when I realize i am way too deep bc she looks like someone who should be in a magazine or something not anywhere near me tbh. We go out to a bar, made it clear to her before hand id buy whatever, we have a few drinks. says she has to go to the bathroom(lol right) Takes her a bit longer than i figured fo rsomeone needing to use it so im like whatever, she comes back we talk for a few more minutes. Says she wants to go home, I'm like okay i'll take you on then after i pay. Tells me not to worry she went ahead and paid and her friend is waiting outside.
so im like uh okay. told me she had a good time we'd talk later(also bullshit) but whatever.
Havent talked to her sense and feel no reason to.
Guess it didnt go too bad but whateveer. still retarded as fuckkkkk.
Didn't pay! Sounds like a win in my book.
Thats why i was a bit upset afterwords then i realized, i didnt make off too bad after all!
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On November 04 2014 13:04 arb wrote:
I met a girl friday night who agree'd to go out with me. She seemed way too good looking for me but i figured what the fuck why not.
Get to her house that evening and thats when I realize i am way too deep bc she looks like someone who should be in a magazine or something not anywhere near me tbh. We go out to a bar, made it clear to her before hand id buy whatever, we have a few drinks. says she has to go to the bathroom(lol right) Takes her a bit longer than i figured fo rsomeone needing to use it so im like whatever, she comes back we talk for a few more minutes. Says she wants to go home, I'm like okay i'll take you on then after i pay. Tells me not to worry she went ahead and paid and her friend is waiting outside.
so im like uh okay. told me she had a good time we'd talk later(also bullshit) but whatever.
Havent talked to her sense and feel no reason to.
Guess it didnt go too bad but whateveer. still retarded as fuckkkkk.
What happened on the date? Who did most of the talking? The girl should do 70-80% of the talking. The guy should focus on getting to know her, asking questions and bantering. Being a good listener is important.
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On November 05 2014 04:56 instantdry wrote:Show nested quote +On November 04 2014 13:04 arb wrote:
I met a girl friday night who agree'd to go out with me. She seemed way too good looking for me but i figured what the fuck why not.
Get to her house that evening and thats when I realize i am way too deep bc she looks like someone who should be in a magazine or something not anywhere near me tbh. We go out to a bar, made it clear to her before hand id buy whatever, we have a few drinks. says she has to go to the bathroom(lol right) Takes her a bit longer than i figured fo rsomeone needing to use it so im like whatever, she comes back we talk for a few more minutes. Says she wants to go home, I'm like okay i'll take you on then after i pay. Tells me not to worry she went ahead and paid and her friend is waiting outside.
so im like uh okay. told me she had a good time we'd talk later(also bullshit) but whatever.
Havent talked to her sense and feel no reason to.
Guess it didnt go too bad but whateveer. still retarded as fuckkkkk.
What happened on the date? Who did most of the talking? The girl should do 70-80% of the talking. The guy should focus on getting to know her, asking questions and bantering. Being a good listener is important.
I dunno know about this. It doesn't really matter who does the talking. As long as somebody is in fact talking.
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On November 05 2014 04:56 instantdry wrote:Show nested quote +On November 04 2014 13:04 arb wrote:
I met a girl friday night who agree'd to go out with me. She seemed way too good looking for me but i figured what the fuck why not.
Get to her house that evening and thats when I realize i am way too deep bc she looks like someone who should be in a magazine or something not anywhere near me tbh. We go out to a bar, made it clear to her before hand id buy whatever, we have a few drinks. says she has to go to the bathroom(lol right) Takes her a bit longer than i figured fo rsomeone needing to use it so im like whatever, she comes back we talk for a few more minutes. Says she wants to go home, I'm like okay i'll take you on then after i pay. Tells me not to worry she went ahead and paid and her friend is waiting outside.
so im like uh okay. told me she had a good time we'd talk later(also bullshit) but whatever.
Havent talked to her sense and feel no reason to.
Guess it didnt go too bad but whateveer. still retarded as fuckkkkk.
What happened on the date? Who did most of the talking? The girl should do 70-80% of the talking. The guy should focus on getting to know her, asking questions and bantering. Being a good listener is important.
I dunno she talked alot about her plans college etc etc, i mostly listened and asked a couple questions.
She asked if i graduated college i was like lol, i was working then joined the army so no.
gave me kind of a "...oh" and i was like. She must think I'm some dumb redneck or something(i do have a real thick accent, but im far from dumb lolol) Then a minute or so later she went to the bathroom and the rest was history
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guys. it's really stupid to add your bank account to a girl's credit card account.
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EPT
