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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On April 30 2014 15:52 Orcasgt24 wrote:
Dear any guy or girl who will ever go on a date with a man/woman he/she asked out:
Do not forget your god damn method of payment in your coat at home! I left my bank card in my coat pocket and forgot I didn't put it in my wallet after using it to pay a bill online. Go on date, have good time, eat yummy food, drink delicious drink and then the bill arrives. FML
Thank god she found the whole thing hilarious and teased me relentlessly as she paid. I don't think my face could have been any redder.
Doesn't leave you with any other option than to ask her out again, so that you can make up for that. "Next time I buy!" ^____^
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On May 01 2014 18:35 Shotcoder wrote:Show nested quote +On April 30 2014 21:35 r.Evo wrote:
Super classy case of not being persistent and/or sexual enough imo. As a general note, good bye kisses as your first kiss suck major balls, all you're doing is building more and more pressure for both you and the girl and in most cases you take away the chance to calibrate properly to her exact reaction since you're simply not there to witness it.
My guess would be from your description that you came off as more sexual at the very first event (which you described as touchy) than you actually were at the others. Coffee date with no or not much touching, fine, not the end of the world but also not great. And then when it comes to the cooking date all I'm reading is "cooking/laughing/discussing/having a great time" - which is all fine, but not enough for a sexual relationship.
The last nail in the coffin is what effect her rejection had on you. If you're in such a situation and you can genuinely convey some kind of "Sigh, alright, I'll try again tomorrow!" without sounding disappointed but more in the vein of "I know I'll get you eventually and so do you (;" that can still do some wonders.
tl;dr: If you like someone it's normal to be touchy with them. If they seem to enjoy it and/or become touchy with you keep escalating until a kiss is nothing more but a small step that had to happen eventually. If it ever feels like something insanely huge, you did something wrong. Go next, have fun and try to not get so emotionally attached so quickly - it's usually neither helpful nor healthy. I agree with everything he said here, I actually think you should have made you initial "move" after the bar. Set the tone for everything else, you're both kind of tipsy so it's easier for both of you and it's a better intimate(being touchy and lots of eye contact situation) rather than the situation you had while cooking. I've been going through something with my old boss, I doubt you all remember that was months ago. Since then she's changed departments and so have I(got promoted beotches =D). I left about a week after she did and I went to first to train for my new position while she stayed on second and we kinda stopped talking a whole lot even though we were still really close friends(at least for me I tend not to keep friends very long because I move around). Two weeks ago...or maybe it was 3, I moved back to second shift so I started seeing her all the time, talking and hanging out on breaks and stuff. Small aside, this is the girl who has a "boyfriend" and a kid( use boyfriend loosely because she sometimes refers to him as baby daddy and I don't qualify someone who makes their significant other sleep on the couch just so they don't get woken up in the night or refuse to help with their kid except when its convenient as a boyfriend) Ok, so we're back to where we were right before I started walking her out to her car, and everything got complicated last time. We make sexual references to each other, we poke and touch each other all the time, she's stays up late to talk to me and we're starting to flirt really hard again. She's also stopped referring to me as "buddy" or "friend" and now I'm her "best friend" to everyone. Well I made the mistake of texting her while she was drinking one night and she started flirting really hard and I made a comment about how her being single would make this easier. She kind of brushed it off at first but brought it up later in a different conversation when I said "I wasn't happy where I was" to which I got something like "Me either". She's pretty vocal about her displeasure at work so I just thought that's what she meant so I was like "I don't mean just work" and she sent me "Yea I know, I'm not happy where I'm at either" And then another guy was hitting on her at work while I was talking to her, This dude and I went out with other co-workers the Friday before and he was telling her how she should have come to, and she could stay at his place and all this shit, she laughed told him she wasn't single and walked away and when we walked back into the room she was like "I would have stayed at your place anyways" Like it's this little shit that fucks with me really hard. And I today was a really wtf moment when we were talking about work again and I was explaining how I'm getting shit on by my fellow manager in my area and she sent me a 3 text spiel about how he's an asshole and nothing but fat and lazy and I care more than he does...etc etc. She's never defended me like that. So I don't know exactly how to read anything. I'm taking as we've just become such good friends that the flirting and everything has become normal and acceptable but there's that lingering doubt in the back of my mind that she's just waiting for me to force the issue.
Never mind, I actually talked to her about it today. I have since admitted that I am in love with her, been told the feeling is mutual, been invited to a water park for a weekend(which he boyfriend will not be present, only me, her and her kid), and been told she can't stop smiling like an idiot. Onward and upward!
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On May 03 2014 16:54 Shotcoder wrote:Show nested quote +On May 01 2014 18:35 Shotcoder wrote:On April 30 2014 21:35 r.Evo wrote:
Super classy case of not being persistent and/or sexual enough imo. As a general note, good bye kisses as your first kiss suck major balls, all you're doing is building more and more pressure for both you and the girl and in most cases you take away the chance to calibrate properly to her exact reaction since you're simply not there to witness it.
My guess would be from your description that you came off as more sexual at the very first event (which you described as touchy) than you actually were at the others. Coffee date with no or not much touching, fine, not the end of the world but also not great. And then when it comes to the cooking date all I'm reading is "cooking/laughing/discussing/having a great time" - which is all fine, but not enough for a sexual relationship.
The last nail in the coffin is what effect her rejection had on you. If you're in such a situation and you can genuinely convey some kind of "Sigh, alright, I'll try again tomorrow!" without sounding disappointed but more in the vein of "I know I'll get you eventually and so do you (;" that can still do some wonders.
tl;dr: If you like someone it's normal to be touchy with them. If they seem to enjoy it and/or become touchy with you keep escalating until a kiss is nothing more but a small step that had to happen eventually. If it ever feels like something insanely huge, you did something wrong. Go next, have fun and try to not get so emotionally attached so quickly - it's usually neither helpful nor healthy. I agree with everything he said here, I actually think you should have made you initial "move" after the bar. Set the tone for everything else, you're both kind of tipsy so it's easier for both of you and it's a better intimate(being touchy and lots of eye contact situation) rather than the situation you had while cooking. I've been going through something with my old boss, I doubt you all remember that was months ago. Since then she's changed departments and so have I(got promoted beotches =D). I left about a week after she did and I went to first to train for my new position while she stayed on second and we kinda stopped talking a whole lot even though we were still really close friends(at least for me I tend not to keep friends very long because I move around). Two weeks ago...or maybe it was 3, I moved back to second shift so I started seeing her all the time, talking and hanging out on breaks and stuff. Small aside, this is the girl who has a "boyfriend" and a kid( use boyfriend loosely because she sometimes refers to him as baby daddy and I don't qualify someone who makes their significant other sleep on the couch just so they don't get woken up in the night or refuse to help with their kid except when its convenient as a boyfriend) Ok, so we're back to where we were right before I started walking her out to her car, and everything got complicated last time. We make sexual references to each other, we poke and touch each other all the time, she's stays up late to talk to me and we're starting to flirt really hard again. She's also stopped referring to me as "buddy" or "friend" and now I'm her "best friend" to everyone. Well I made the mistake of texting her while she was drinking one night and she started flirting really hard and I made a comment about how her being single would make this easier. She kind of brushed it off at first but brought it up later in a different conversation when I said "I wasn't happy where I was" to which I got something like "Me either". She's pretty vocal about her displeasure at work so I just thought that's what she meant so I was like "I don't mean just work" and she sent me "Yea I know, I'm not happy where I'm at either" And then another guy was hitting on her at work while I was talking to her, This dude and I went out with other co-workers the Friday before and he was telling her how she should have come to, and she could stay at his place and all this shit, she laughed told him she wasn't single and walked away and when we walked back into the room she was like "I would have stayed at your place anyways" Like it's this little shit that fucks with me really hard. And I today was a really wtf moment when we were talking about work again and I was explaining how I'm getting shit on by my fellow manager in my area and she sent me a 3 text spiel about how he's an asshole and nothing but fat and lazy and I care more than he does...etc etc. She's never defended me like that. So I don't know exactly how to read anything. I'm taking as we've just become such good friends that the flirting and everything has become normal and acceptable but there's that lingering doubt in the back of my mind that she's just waiting for me to force the issue. Never mind, I actually talked to her about it today. I have since admitted that I am in love with her, been told the feeling is mutual, been invited to a water park for a weekend(which he boyfriend will not be present, only me, her and her kid), and been told she can't stop smiling like an idiot. Onward and upward!
how does she prevent her kid from telling her boyfriend about the nice uncle he went to the waterpark with? or does he know about you?
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On May 03 2014 23:37 Snotling wrote:Show nested quote +On May 03 2014 16:54 Shotcoder wrote:On May 01 2014 18:35 Shotcoder wrote:On April 30 2014 21:35 r.Evo wrote:
Super classy case of not being persistent and/or sexual enough imo. As a general note, good bye kisses as your first kiss suck major balls, all you're doing is building more and more pressure for both you and the girl and in most cases you take away the chance to calibrate properly to her exact reaction since you're simply not there to witness it.
My guess would be from your description that you came off as more sexual at the very first event (which you described as touchy) than you actually were at the others. Coffee date with no or not much touching, fine, not the end of the world but also not great. And then when it comes to the cooking date all I'm reading is "cooking/laughing/discussing/having a great time" - which is all fine, but not enough for a sexual relationship.
The last nail in the coffin is what effect her rejection had on you. If you're in such a situation and you can genuinely convey some kind of "Sigh, alright, I'll try again tomorrow!" without sounding disappointed but more in the vein of "I know I'll get you eventually and so do you (;" that can still do some wonders.
tl;dr: If you like someone it's normal to be touchy with them. If they seem to enjoy it and/or become touchy with you keep escalating until a kiss is nothing more but a small step that had to happen eventually. If it ever feels like something insanely huge, you did something wrong. Go next, have fun and try to not get so emotionally attached so quickly - it's usually neither helpful nor healthy. I agree with everything he said here, I actually think you should have made you initial "move" after the bar. Set the tone for everything else, you're both kind of tipsy so it's easier for both of you and it's a better intimate(being touchy and lots of eye contact situation) rather than the situation you had while cooking. I've been going through something with my old boss, I doubt you all remember that was months ago. Since then she's changed departments and so have I(got promoted beotches =D). I left about a week after she did and I went to first to train for my new position while she stayed on second and we kinda stopped talking a whole lot even though we were still really close friends(at least for me I tend not to keep friends very long because I move around). Two weeks ago...or maybe it was 3, I moved back to second shift so I started seeing her all the time, talking and hanging out on breaks and stuff. Small aside, this is the girl who has a "boyfriend" and a kid( use boyfriend loosely because she sometimes refers to him as baby daddy and I don't qualify someone who makes their significant other sleep on the couch just so they don't get woken up in the night or refuse to help with their kid except when its convenient as a boyfriend) Ok, so we're back to where we were right before I started walking her out to her car, and everything got complicated last time. We make sexual references to each other, we poke and touch each other all the time, she's stays up late to talk to me and we're starting to flirt really hard again. She's also stopped referring to me as "buddy" or "friend" and now I'm her "best friend" to everyone. Well I made the mistake of texting her while she was drinking one night and she started flirting really hard and I made a comment about how her being single would make this easier. She kind of brushed it off at first but brought it up later in a different conversation when I said "I wasn't happy where I was" to which I got something like "Me either". She's pretty vocal about her displeasure at work so I just thought that's what she meant so I was like "I don't mean just work" and she sent me "Yea I know, I'm not happy where I'm at either" And then another guy was hitting on her at work while I was talking to her, This dude and I went out with other co-workers the Friday before and he was telling her how she should have come to, and she could stay at his place and all this shit, she laughed told him she wasn't single and walked away and when we walked back into the room she was like "I would have stayed at your place anyways" Like it's this little shit that fucks with me really hard. And I today was a really wtf moment when we were talking about work again and I was explaining how I'm getting shit on by my fellow manager in my area and she sent me a 3 text spiel about how he's an asshole and nothing but fat and lazy and I care more than he does...etc etc. She's never defended me like that. So I don't know exactly how to read anything. I'm taking as we've just become such good friends that the flirting and everything has become normal and acceptable but there's that lingering doubt in the back of my mind that she's just waiting for me to force the issue. Never mind, I actually talked to her about it today. I have since admitted that I am in love with her, been told the feeling is mutual, been invited to a water park for a weekend(which he boyfriend will not be present, only me, her and her kid), and been told she can't stop smiling like an idiot. Onward and upward! how does she prevent her kid from telling her boyfriend about the nice uncle he went to the waterpark with? or does he know about you?
Her kid is 1 currently
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On May 04 2014 02:09 Shotcoder wrote:Show nested quote +On May 03 2014 23:37 Snotling wrote:On May 03 2014 16:54 Shotcoder wrote:On May 01 2014 18:35 Shotcoder wrote:On April 30 2014 21:35 r.Evo wrote:
Super classy case of not being persistent and/or sexual enough imo. As a general note, good bye kisses as your first kiss suck major balls, all you're doing is building more and more pressure for both you and the girl and in most cases you take away the chance to calibrate properly to her exact reaction since you're simply not there to witness it.
My guess would be from your description that you came off as more sexual at the very first event (which you described as touchy) than you actually were at the others. Coffee date with no or not much touching, fine, not the end of the world but also not great. And then when it comes to the cooking date all I'm reading is "cooking/laughing/discussing/having a great time" - which is all fine, but not enough for a sexual relationship.
The last nail in the coffin is what effect her rejection had on you. If you're in such a situation and you can genuinely convey some kind of "Sigh, alright, I'll try again tomorrow!" without sounding disappointed but more in the vein of "I know I'll get you eventually and so do you (;" that can still do some wonders.
tl;dr: If you like someone it's normal to be touchy with them. If they seem to enjoy it and/or become touchy with you keep escalating until a kiss is nothing more but a small step that had to happen eventually. If it ever feels like something insanely huge, you did something wrong. Go next, have fun and try to not get so emotionally attached so quickly - it's usually neither helpful nor healthy. I agree with everything he said here, I actually think you should have made you initial "move" after the bar. Set the tone for everything else, you're both kind of tipsy so it's easier for both of you and it's a better intimate(being touchy and lots of eye contact situation) rather than the situation you had while cooking. I've been going through something with my old boss, I doubt you all remember that was months ago. Since then she's changed departments and so have I(got promoted beotches =D). I left about a week after she did and I went to first to train for my new position while she stayed on second and we kinda stopped talking a whole lot even though we were still really close friends(at least for me I tend not to keep friends very long because I move around). Two weeks ago...or maybe it was 3, I moved back to second shift so I started seeing her all the time, talking and hanging out on breaks and stuff. Small aside, this is the girl who has a "boyfriend" and a kid( use boyfriend loosely because she sometimes refers to him as baby daddy and I don't qualify someone who makes their significant other sleep on the couch just so they don't get woken up in the night or refuse to help with their kid except when its convenient as a boyfriend) Ok, so we're back to where we were right before I started walking her out to her car, and everything got complicated last time. We make sexual references to each other, we poke and touch each other all the time, she's stays up late to talk to me and we're starting to flirt really hard again. She's also stopped referring to me as "buddy" or "friend" and now I'm her "best friend" to everyone. Well I made the mistake of texting her while she was drinking one night and she started flirting really hard and I made a comment about how her being single would make this easier. She kind of brushed it off at first but brought it up later in a different conversation when I said "I wasn't happy where I was" to which I got something like "Me either". She's pretty vocal about her displeasure at work so I just thought that's what she meant so I was like "I don't mean just work" and she sent me "Yea I know, I'm not happy where I'm at either" And then another guy was hitting on her at work while I was talking to her, This dude and I went out with other co-workers the Friday before and he was telling her how she should have come to, and she could stay at his place and all this shit, she laughed told him she wasn't single and walked away and when we walked back into the room she was like "I would have stayed at your place anyways" Like it's this little shit that fucks with me really hard. And I today was a really wtf moment when we were talking about work again and I was explaining how I'm getting shit on by my fellow manager in my area and she sent me a 3 text spiel about how he's an asshole and nothing but fat and lazy and I care more than he does...etc etc. She's never defended me like that. So I don't know exactly how to read anything. I'm taking as we've just become such good friends that the flirting and everything has become normal and acceptable but there's that lingering doubt in the back of my mind that she's just waiting for me to force the issue. Never mind, I actually talked to her about it today. I have since admitted that I am in love with her, been told the feeling is mutual, been invited to a water park for a weekend(which he boyfriend will not be present, only me, her and her kid), and been told she can't stop smiling like an idiot. Onward and upward! how does she prevent her kid from telling her boyfriend about the nice uncle he went to the waterpark with? or does he know about you? Her kid is 1 currently
She better be the most amazing person ever born to be worth the trouble of the situation you're in.
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On May 03 2014 16:54 Shotcoder wrote:Show nested quote +On May 01 2014 18:35 Shotcoder wrote:On April 30 2014 21:35 r.Evo wrote:
Super classy case of not being persistent and/or sexual enough imo. As a general note, good bye kisses as your first kiss suck major balls, all you're doing is building more and more pressure for both you and the girl and in most cases you take away the chance to calibrate properly to her exact reaction since you're simply not there to witness it.
My guess would be from your description that you came off as more sexual at the very first event (which you described as touchy) than you actually were at the others. Coffee date with no or not much touching, fine, not the end of the world but also not great. And then when it comes to the cooking date all I'm reading is "cooking/laughing/discussing/having a great time" - which is all fine, but not enough for a sexual relationship.
The last nail in the coffin is what effect her rejection had on you. If you're in such a situation and you can genuinely convey some kind of "Sigh, alright, I'll try again tomorrow!" without sounding disappointed but more in the vein of "I know I'll get you eventually and so do you (;" that can still do some wonders.
tl;dr: If you like someone it's normal to be touchy with them. If they seem to enjoy it and/or become touchy with you keep escalating until a kiss is nothing more but a small step that had to happen eventually. If it ever feels like something insanely huge, you did something wrong. Go next, have fun and try to not get so emotionally attached so quickly - it's usually neither helpful nor healthy. I agree with everything he said here, I actually think you should have made you initial "move" after the bar. Set the tone for everything else, you're both kind of tipsy so it's easier for both of you and it's a better intimate(being touchy and lots of eye contact situation) rather than the situation you had while cooking. I've been going through something with my old boss, I doubt you all remember that was months ago. Since then she's changed departments and so have I(got promoted beotches =D). I left about a week after she did and I went to first to train for my new position while she stayed on second and we kinda stopped talking a whole lot even though we were still really close friends(at least for me I tend not to keep friends very long because I move around). Two weeks ago...or maybe it was 3, I moved back to second shift so I started seeing her all the time, talking and hanging out on breaks and stuff. Small aside, this is the girl who has a "boyfriend" and a kid( use boyfriend loosely because she sometimes refers to him as baby daddy and I don't qualify someone who makes their significant other sleep on the couch just so they don't get woken up in the night or refuse to help with their kid except when its convenient as a boyfriend) Ok, so we're back to where we were right before I started walking her out to her car, and everything got complicated last time. We make sexual references to each other, we poke and touch each other all the time, she's stays up late to talk to me and we're starting to flirt really hard again. She's also stopped referring to me as "buddy" or "friend" and now I'm her "best friend" to everyone. Well I made the mistake of texting her while she was drinking one night and she started flirting really hard and I made a comment about how her being single would make this easier. She kind of brushed it off at first but brought it up later in a different conversation when I said "I wasn't happy where I was" to which I got something like "Me either". She's pretty vocal about her displeasure at work so I just thought that's what she meant so I was like "I don't mean just work" and she sent me "Yea I know, I'm not happy where I'm at either" And then another guy was hitting on her at work while I was talking to her, This dude and I went out with other co-workers the Friday before and he was telling her how she should have come to, and she could stay at his place and all this shit, she laughed told him she wasn't single and walked away and when we walked back into the room she was like "I would have stayed at your place anyways" Like it's this little shit that fucks with me really hard. And I today was a really wtf moment when we were talking about work again and I was explaining how I'm getting shit on by my fellow manager in my area and she sent me a 3 text spiel about how he's an asshole and nothing but fat and lazy and I care more than he does...etc etc. She's never defended me like that. So I don't know exactly how to read anything. I'm taking as we've just become such good friends that the flirting and everything has become normal and acceptable but there's that lingering doubt in the back of my mind that she's just waiting for me to force the issue. Never mind, I actually talked to her about it today. I have since admitted that I am in love with her, been told the feeling is mutual, been invited to a water park for a weekend(which he boyfriend will not be present, only me, her and her kid), and been told she can't stop smiling like an idiot. Onward and upward!
Post more updates.
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Ask co-worker if she wants to go a party after work for one of our co-workers who's leaving after being with us for a long time. She says sure, even accepts my invitation to go together in 1 vehicle and I pick her up. Bails on the last second and decides to drive there herself because she doesn't want there to be a problem if I'm drinking and she's dependant on me for transportation, say sure that's ok. Gives me cold shoulder entire time at party and doesn't socialize with me much. Eats some of the fries I order for myself though and helps herself to it after I say ok. Declines invitation to go back to my place and hang out a bit more and w/e. We've done this before after our last party and we had a great time eating a drunk meal together sitting on the floor haha.
I don't get women. Thought she was letting me in and then she denies me after seemingly giving me to go ahead. Went from totally stoked thinking I was going to get somewhere tonight, to going home alone and confused.
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Dont even bother trying to apply logic to a woman's sudden change of heart. It's a fool's game. Best to just back off and see how it works out.
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Do you guys think it's ok to go on multiple "second dates" with girls?
Met two girls through online dating within a week, both went really fine, I like both girls. Both dates ended with "hey, why not see each other again?".
I feel wrong about it because if both second dates happen and go well, someone is going to be disappointed after I make a choice...
Or is it just me and I should not worry about that too much?
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On May 05 2014 00:50 Merany wrote:
Do you guys think it's ok to go on multiple "second dates" with girls?
Met two girls through online dating within a week, both went really fine, I like both girls. Both dates ended with "hey, why not see each other again?".
I feel wrong about it because if both second dates happen and go well, someone is going to be disappointed after I make a choice...
Or is it just me and I should not worry about that too much?
It is really personal, so you'll probably hear a few different answers, but my opinion is that it's fine in the beginning if you are honest about it when she asks, or if you are open about it if things become intimate with one of them. If you feel you need to lie, then that's when you've probably gone too far.
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On May 05 2014 00:50 Merany wrote:
Do you guys think it's ok to go on multiple "second dates" with girls?
Met two girls through online dating within a week, both went really fine, I like both girls. Both dates ended with "hey, why not see each other again?".
I feel wrong about it because if both second dates happen and go well, someone is going to be disappointed after I make a choice...
Or is it just me and I should not worry about that too much?
I wouldn't think it was a problem so long as it was early on in the courtship, ideally before the first kiss. She may actually be okay with you seeing other girls, but if she finds out too late, she'll likely feel lied to.
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On May 05 2014 00:50 Merany wrote:
Do you guys think it's ok to go on multiple "second dates" with girls?
Met two girls through online dating within a week, both went really fine, I like both girls. Both dates ended with "hey, why not see each other again?".
I feel wrong about it because if both second dates happen and go well, someone is going to be disappointed after I make a choice...
Or is it just me and I should not worry about that too much?
If one of them ends up disappointed you conveyed something to them that wasn't true.
There's a fine line between a guy who dates multiple women and gets admired for it and one who gets called out on it.
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United States42971 Posts
Is there a presumption of exclusivity? If there is then you should correct that because otherwise it's a lie by omission and not something you want to open a relationship with. If there isn't and you're both on the same page about just getting to know each other then no need to bring it up. You know your deal better than any of us.
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Yeah like having premarital sex and masturbating.
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Why would anyone feel bad about either of those two things?
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On May 05 2014 14:41 Monsen wrote:
Yeah like having premarital sex and masturbating.
what a useless argument, this has nothing to do with lying to two women about them respectively......
Also: Not beeing oppressed by some laws of a church has nothing to do with a basic moral compass.....
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The point is that it's absolutely possible to feel bad about things that you don't need to feel bad about.
On May 05 2014 12:39 chadissilent wrote:
If you feel bad about something, you're probably doing something you should feel bad about.
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On May 05 2014 08:06 r.Evo wrote:Show nested quote +On May 05 2014 00:50 Merany wrote:
Do you guys think it's ok to go on multiple "second dates" with girls?
Met two girls through online dating within a week, both went really fine, I like both girls. Both dates ended with "hey, why not see each other again?".
I feel wrong about it because if both second dates happen and go well, someone is going to be disappointed after I make a choice...
Or is it just me and I should not worry about that too much? If one of them ends up disappointed you conveyed something to them that wasn't true. There's a fine line between a guy who dates multiple women and gets admired for it and one who gets called out on it.
On May 05 2014 08:46 KwarK wrote:
Is there a presumption of exclusivity? If there is then you should correct that because otherwise it's a lie by omission and not something you want to open a relationship with. If there isn't and you're both on the same page about just getting to know each other then no need to bring it up. You know your deal better than any of us.
When I asked my question, I was fully aware of that "exclusivity" thing. Truth is, I have no idea what I implied...
Really, met two girls, had a fun time, both were at least 3h talk, light flirting but nothing else and both ended with suggestions of seeing us again... I mean, there was no mention of "exclusivity" nor "it's just so I can get to know you a bit more".
Seeing I've no idea what I conveyed, I would be cautious making a call on what they thought :p
Thing is, it has happened to me many times in the past where a girl accepted a "second date" just to end up at the end of it with "hey, let's be friend instead"... Again, it could just be me not being able to read signs and it should have been expected.
This time I don't wanna lose an opportunity with any of them.
Meh, I'm obviously bad at this :D In case both "second dates" happen, what would be your advice then?
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EPT
