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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
chadissilent
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Canada1187 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-05-15 16:36:54
April 26 2014 22:14 GMT
#9161
edit
aTnClouD
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Italy2428 Posts
April 26 2014 23:22 GMT
#9162
Watching a movie together at home means intimacy.
The thought of getting intimate often harbors sex expectations.
If that much is not obvious to you then you might want to consider reading some books on how women communicate.
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g64/hunter692007/kruemelmonsteryn0.gif
Metalreflux
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States165 Posts
April 27 2014 01:55 GMT
#9163
On April 27 2014 07:14 chadissilent wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 27 2014 04:16 Metalreflux wrote:
On April 27 2014 03:05 aTnClouD wrote:
When I read the comments about people even considering that the girl would come over just to watch the movie I bursted out laughing really hard. You guys make my day.


In my experience it's a movie you plan for her to see, but then it just turns into what she wanted to watch all along that night.

"Come over to watch a movie" is code for "let's watch the first 15 minutes then fool around or hook up."


With my girlfriends, it meant
Me:"Hey, wanna watch A Clockwork Orange?"
Her:"SURE!"
*we turn on netflix*
Her:"Hey let's watch Married with Children"
Me: "But... ACO...." "
Xiphos
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Canada7507 Posts
April 27 2014 03:00 GMT
#9164
A lot of guys just aren't aggressive and straightforward enough w/ their women and then gets frustrated afterward of being in the "friendzone".

I think a lot of men could be happier if they just make their intention as clear as possible.

Think of it like a salesman, if you start selling them on a platonic relationship w/o any sparks, ofc that's how women will respond to you.

So in regarding to watching movies. How about adding another line along of "Hey let's head back to my place for a movie...and if you are good, we'll do something else..." while touching her seductively or a wink (that is if you really want to make love to her while watching the movie).

If you truly just want to share the movie with her. You still gotta sell it w/ "Hey I know that you don't particularly like movies with class*. However I think this specific one can change your mind on it." and if she still doesn't want to watch something that you want to watch and isn't exactly stressed about anything, then she isn't really a good girlfriend anyways and is definitely a red flag.

*At this point, if she gets angry that you don't think she has class, just respond with "Well prove it to me then!". Which will even function better as she want to take on the challenge and thus will be more willing to center her focus toward the movie.

Even in workplace, 80% of the accident happens due to communication error. So there really isn't anything wrong by being forward to a girl.

As matter of fact, girls that cries "rape" for a men are really mad because the guy probably wasn't being clear enough so she think she is being duped by him. That's another idea to sleep upon.
2014 - ᕙ( •̀ل͜•́) ϡ Raise your bows brood warriors! ᕙ( •̀ل͜•́) ϡ
chadissilent
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Canada1187 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-05-15 16:36:37
April 27 2014 04:15 GMT
#9165
edit
Baltor
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States171 Posts
April 27 2014 06:58 GMT
#9166
The engineering school blues are really hitting me hard right now... Although the education is great, our school is 74% male. As a result, literally every girl that I've been interested in at all over the past six months has been dating someone. It's gotten to the point where it's hard to still work up the motivation to approach and meet new girls in my classes, just because they're almost definitely going to be dating someone. I know that's a detrimental attitude,but it's hard to ignore all the same.

Luckily I have friends at other schools nearby, which don't have awful ratios (and the girls are, for the most part, much more friendly about meeting new people. People at my school on the whole aren't really amazing at social skills, haha.) I've hit it off with girls there before, but the problem that always comes up is logistics - I don't have a car, so that kind of limits options as far as things to do goes. I don't really want to be like "Hey, let me bus an hour down to you just to do nothing in your apartment."

I dunno, has anyone else been in a similar situation? What do you guys do when there really aren't that many girls available?
chadissilent
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Canada1187 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-05-15 16:36:17
April 27 2014 07:40 GMT
#9167
edit
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17922 Posts
April 27 2014 09:44 GMT
#9168
On April 27 2014 12:00 Xiphos wrote:
A lot of guys just aren't aggressive and straightforward enough w/ their women and then gets frustrated afterward of being in the "friendzone".

I think a lot of men could be happier if they just make their intention as clear as possible.

Think of it like a salesman, if you start selling them on a platonic relationship w/o any sparks, ofc that's how women will respond to you.

So in regarding to watching movies. How about adding another line along of "Hey let's head back to my place for a movie...and if you are good, we'll do something else..." while touching her seductively or a wink (that is if you really want to make love to her while watching the movie).

If you truly just want to share the movie with her. You still gotta sell it w/ "Hey I know that you don't particularly like movies with class*. However I think this specific one can change your mind on it." and if she still doesn't want to watch something that you want to watch and isn't exactly stressed about anything, then she isn't really a good girlfriend anyways and is definitely a red flag.

*At this point, if she gets angry that you don't think she has class, just respond with "Well prove it to me then!". Which will even function better as she want to take on the challenge and thus will be more willing to center her focus toward the movie.

Even in workplace, 80% of the accident happens due to communication error. So there really isn't anything wrong by being forward to a girl.

As matter of fact, girls that cries "rape" for a men are really mad because the guy probably wasn't being clear enough so she think she is being duped by him. That's another idea to sleep upon.

If you want to be a virgin forever say something like that rofl.
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
Nausea
Profile Joined October 2010
Sweden807 Posts
April 27 2014 13:45 GMT
#9169
All these long posts... you're thinking too much about this and this is why it's hard to get anywhere with the girl.
Set it ablaze!
JoeCool
Profile Joined January 2012
Germany2520 Posts
April 27 2014 14:20 GMT
#9170
If a girl asks you - via sms - whether you are mad at her with a smiley at the end; because you had a bad day and weren´t as good tempered as usual.
Would you apologize, or make clear that it was just a bad day? I tried it with a humorous sms but since she´s not responding I´ve got the feeling that I messed up. Now I feel guilty... and thought about giving her a short call.
On the other hand I do not want to chase after her.
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17922 Posts
April 27 2014 14:23 GMT
#9171
On April 27 2014 23:20 JoeCool wrote:
If a girl asks you - via sms - whether you are mad at her with a smiley at the end; because you had a bad day and weren´t as good tempered as usual.
Would you apologize, or make clear that it was just a bad day? I tried it with a humorous sms but since she´s not responding I´ve got the feeling that I messed up. Now I feel guilty... and thought about giving her a short call.
On the other hand I do not want to chase after her.

lol was she like "are you mad at me? " if she did that id drop that bitch.

you should just say, "sorry ive had a tough day" then leave i at that lolol.
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
JoeCool
Profile Joined January 2012
Germany2520 Posts
April 27 2014 14:46 GMT
#9172
On April 27 2014 23:23 arb wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 27 2014 23:20 JoeCool wrote:
If a girl asks you - via sms - whether you are mad at her with a smiley at the end; because you had a bad day and weren´t as good tempered as usual.
Would you apologize, or make clear that it was just a bad day? I tried it with a humorous sms but since she´s not responding I´ve got the feeling that I messed up. Now I feel guilty... and thought about giving her a short call.
On the other hand I do not want to chase after her.

lol was she like "are you mad at me? " if she did that id drop that bitch.

you should just say, "sorry ive had a tough day" then leave i at that lolol.


Yeah, after she left work she wrote me "Are you somehow mad ad me ?" ... Like I said, I´ve had a bad day. And she probably thinks it was because of her. Well, that´s basically what the message said that I´ve sent her.
Like I said no response.
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17922 Posts
April 27 2014 14:51 GMT
#9173
On April 27 2014 23:46 JoeCool wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 27 2014 23:23 arb wrote:
On April 27 2014 23:20 JoeCool wrote:
If a girl asks you - via sms - whether you are mad at her with a smiley at the end; because you had a bad day and weren´t as good tempered as usual.
Would you apologize, or make clear that it was just a bad day? I tried it with a humorous sms but since she´s not responding I´ve got the feeling that I messed up. Now I feel guilty... and thought about giving her a short call.
On the other hand I do not want to chase after her.

lol was she like "are you mad at me? " if she did that id drop that bitch.

you should just say, "sorry ive had a tough day" then leave i at that lolol.


Yeah, after she left work she wrote me "Are you somehow mad ad me ?" ... Like I said, I´ve had a bad day. And she probably thinks it was because of her. Well, that´s basically what the message said that I´ve sent her.
Like I said no response.

you should go out and try to find a new girl and stop fucking with the same one.

alternatively you can adapt my style and just text them once if they dont text back fuck them theres plenty of other girls out there.

The only time i'd text a girl a second time after she hasnt responded to the first is if she does that to you when you dont respond, that means she wants to talk or something but generally you can get that vibe from her responses or how she seems to act around you.
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
JoeCool
Profile Joined January 2012
Germany2520 Posts
April 27 2014 15:00 GMT
#9174
Well we´re not texting very much maybe twice a week. And when she´s around me she´s always happy and looking for physical contact. Like hugging, pinching and so on ...
Xiphos
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Canada7507 Posts
April 27 2014 15:24 GMT
#9175
On April 27 2014 18:44 arb wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 27 2014 12:00 Xiphos wrote:
A lot of guys just aren't aggressive and straightforward enough w/ their women and then gets frustrated afterward of being in the "friendzone".

I think a lot of men could be happier if they just make their intention as clear as possible.

Think of it like a salesman, if you start selling them on a platonic relationship w/o any sparks, ofc that's how women will respond to you.

So in regarding to watching movies. How about adding another line along of "Hey let's head back to my place for a movie...and if you are good, we'll do something else..." while touching her seductively or a wink (that is if you really want to make love to her while watching the movie).

If you truly just want to share the movie with her. You still gotta sell it w/ "Hey I know that you don't particularly like movies with class*. However I think this specific one can change your mind on it." and if she still doesn't want to watch something that you want to watch and isn't exactly stressed about anything, then she isn't really a good girlfriend anyways and is definitely a red flag.

*At this point, if she gets angry that you don't think she has class, just respond with "Well prove it to me then!". Which will even function better as she want to take on the challenge and thus will be more willing to center her focus toward the movie.

Even in workplace, 80% of the accident happens due to communication error. So there reaully isn't anything wrong by being forward to a girl.

As matter of fact, girls that cries "rape" for a men are really mad because the guy probably wasn't being clear enough so she think she is being duped by him. That's another idea to sleep upon.

If you want to be a virgin forever say something like that rofl.


Just because you don't have the courage to say similar lines, it doesn't mean that others don't.

Getting girls to like you is all about being bold.

To the guy that say that it is "creepy". Again, that's not girls think at all.

Girls are much more attracted to a guy that knows what he wants and be firms w/ it than some passive "Mr. Nice".
2014 - ᕙ( •̀ل͜•́) ϡ Raise your bows brood warriors! ᕙ( •̀ل͜•́) ϡ
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17922 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-27 15:26:24
April 27 2014 15:24 GMT
#9176
On April 28 2014 00:00 JoeCool wrote:
Well we´re not texting very much maybe twice a week. And when she´s around me she´s always happy and looking for physical contact. Like hugging, pinching and so on ...

do you cuddle and does she put out? do you do anything sexual?

On April 28 2014 00:24 Xiphos wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 27 2014 18:44 arb wrote:
On April 27 2014 12:00 Xiphos wrote:
A lot of guys just aren't aggressive and straightforward enough w/ their women and then gets frustrated afterward of being in the "friendzone".

I think a lot of men could be happier if they just make their intention as clear as possible.

Think of it like a salesman, if you start selling them on a platonic relationship w/o any sparks, ofc that's how women will respond to you.

So in regarding to watching movies. How about adding another line along of "Hey let's head back to my place for a movie...and if you are good, we'll do something else..." while touching her seductively or a wink (that is if you really want to make love to her while watching the movie).

If you truly just want to share the movie with her. You still gotta sell it w/ "Hey I know that you don't particularly like movies with class*. However I think this specific one can change your mind on it." and if she still doesn't want to watch something that you want to watch and isn't exactly stressed about anything, then she isn't really a good girlfriend anyways and is definitely a red flag.

*At this point, if she gets angry that you don't think she has class, just respond with "Well prove it to me then!". Which will even function better as she want to take on the challenge and thus will be more willing to center her focus toward the movie.

Even in workplace, 80% of the accident happens due to communication error. So there reaully isn't anything wrong by being forward to a girl.

As matter of fact, girls that cries "rape" for a men are really mad because the guy probably wasn't being clear enough so she think she is being duped by him. That's another idea to sleep upon.

If you want to be a virgin forever say something like that rofl.


Just because you don't have the courage to say similar lines, it doesn't mean that others don't.

Getting girls to like you is all about being bold.

To the guy that say that it is "creepy". Again, that's not girls think at all.

Girls are much more attracted to a guy that knows what he wants and be firms w/ it than some passive "Mr. Nice".


I've never had to say something like that personally lol. so i guess to each their own
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
JoeCool
Profile Joined January 2012
Germany2520 Posts
April 27 2014 15:29 GMT
#9177
On April 28 2014 00:24 arb wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 28 2014 00:00 JoeCool wrote:
Well we´re not texting very much maybe twice a week. And when she´s around me she´s always happy and looking for physical contact. Like hugging, pinching and so on ...

do you cuddle and does she put out? do you do anything sexual?


About the sex no not yet, we´ve only had one date so far. Tried to set up the second one for yesterday, but since she thought I was mad at her.... Well like I said multiple times, no response^^
Slayers_Red.Cracker
Profile Joined March 2011
36 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-27 15:46:19
April 27 2014 15:43 GMT
#9178
As always, just stay cool and dont overthink. You dont need her to make you feel good, but you should give her the chance to cheer you up. So you dont really want to brush her off, but you dont really want to downplay your feelings either. Making a joke about the bad situation will probably just confuse her. Because apparently you did come across as being pissed at her, but the stuff that made you feel bad apparently mattered so little that you can just joke about it to her. Which makes her think like "is he pissed off or is he not pissed off? I dont know, but whatever I'll leave him alone for now"

Next time say something like "had a bad day, not your fault, but seeing you actually cheered me up quite a lot already so thank you "
TwiggyWan
Profile Blog Joined December 2013
France342 Posts
April 27 2014 16:52 GMT
#9179
On April 27 2014 15:58 Baltor wrote:
The engineering school blues are really hitting me hard right now... Although the education is great, our school is 74% male. As a result, literally every girl that I've been interested in at all over the past six months has been dating someone. It's gotten to the point where it's hard to still work up the motivation to approach and meet new girls in my classes, just because they're almost definitely going to be dating someone. I know that's a detrimental attitude,but it's hard to ignore all the same.

Luckily I have friends at other schools nearby, which don't have awful ratios (and the girls are, for the most part, much more friendly about meeting new people. People at my school on the whole aren't really amazing at social skills, haha.) I've hit it off with girls there before, but the problem that always comes up is logistics - I don't have a car, so that kind of limits options as far as things to do goes. I don't really want to be like "Hey, let me bus an hour down to you just to do nothing in your apartment."

I dunno, has anyone else been in a similar situation? What do you guys do when there really aren't that many girls available?


Lived the exact same situation with an even worse ratio D:

Fortunately there is student night parties where you can hopefully meet girls from other kinds of schools with much more favorable ratios
No bad days
biology]major
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States2253 Posts
April 27 2014 18:09 GMT
#9180
Just gotta quit engineering and go into vet school for the exact opposite ratio
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