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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
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3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On April 25 2014 00:28 TwiggyWan wrote:Show nested quote +On April 24 2014 23:07 r.Evo wrote:On April 24 2014 21:00 LeLfe wrote:On April 24 2014 20:50 TwiggyWan wrote:On April 24 2014 18:23 jrkirby wrote:On April 24 2014 17:43 TwiggyWan wrote:+ Show Spoiler +Ok so I started an internship last week, managed to meet some youngsters pretty quickly including a cute girl I'd like to hang out with. She's quite talkative and friendly so we talked all together quite a bit. I felt I needed the weekend to get my shit together and know what I wanted precisely, so yesterday I took an opportunity to help her work related then coffee break into me asking her out (that sounds like a build order lol). I asked her to go together to the arcade on weekends so I could teach her some stuff about me/IT/inet culture (she actually questioned me on how to code and what's an OS just before when I was helping her D  . She ended up saying mmh I'm usually pretty busy on the weekends and gave me a somewhat valid excuse (imo) but dodged my eyes for a while after my move. So now I don't know what went wrong, I tried not to force a specific date at the start and added 'tell me if you have availabilites' when she dodged. Problem is that she's leaving company after next week (won't see her from may first) so I'm playing against the clock. Should I ask her again asap or wait a bit even tho i dont have that much time? Should I try to force a yes/no response and be clearer when asking? Goal is just to take her out I don't wanna freak her :/ #helplz Good chance she's just not interested. Don't push too hard. Just let girls know you're interested, then move on if it isn't obvious that they are too. Isn't it a woman thing to give mixed signals/say noes that means yes? I'm confused on how to read it.. it's also a man's thing to take things as mixed signals. If she thinks you're a nice person and don't want to hurt your feelings, she will try to avoid saying "no" too directly. If she were interested she would have taken the opportunity to spend time with you imo. If you want to make things sure, since she's busy on the weekends, invite her for something on a weekday, afterwork drink can be a good starter! good luck The question that should be asked is: "Why does this woman I barely know worry about my feelings towards her?" The answer most likely is that the person is giving off a vibe that says "I don't know anything about you but I'm already getting emotionally attached!" Here's the catch: If you simply don't take her things as mixed signals and assume she's into you until proven otherwise you're suddenly not worried about her being interested in you. Suddenly even if you ARE emotionally interested in her it doesn't matter because it's not affecting your behavior or how you approach the situation - which is the very thing that makes you most likely attractive to her. So if I followed you correctly I ask again until i get a clear response while ignoring how she reacts to show her I don't care?
No, you use your socially more and more competent self to judge the situation as best as you can and at the same time change your attitude.
Being persistent and confident in your own attractiveness isn't the same as being a total nutcase who ignores any and all reactions in a social setting.
On April 25 2014 20:29 SoSexy wrote:F*** myself. Yesterday night I went to this club and I started doing my thing (faking that I'm from Florida: my english is good and people here are terrible so they always fall for my tricks) and a girl was absolutely flattered. At a certain point she turned towards her friend and said 'I'm in love with him, I'm going home with him tonight'. A huge grin appeared on my face and we kept on dancing etc. Then, I DON'T KNOW WHY, at a certain point I went to grab a drink and when I came back she moved away o.o like if I went near her, she would go to the other side of the room. Few minutes later she left. WTF? Damn me, I should have acted quicker 
Not quicker. Slower. It's very, very rare that a woman can be so open about her sexuality towards her peer group without negative repercussions. The second a comment like that comes up I would, semi-jokingly, pull back and make damn sure said friend gets the message depending on how I judge their relationship. Besides that, since she's obviously attracted, the name of the game is comfort, comfort and more comfort at that point for both her and her buddies.
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On April 25 2014 18:35 Slayers_Red.Cracker wrote:
JoeCool, STOP OVERTHINKING!!!!! She is showing signs that it's okay. So just relax and believe that it actually is okay, and go do shit that you like. Tell her something like "ahhh thats a bummer, then its your turn to pick a date for sushi, I'm really excited as well!!!".
Also, she hugs you, thats nice. She probably does not mind touching you which basically means that youre not revolting. Dont go thinking in all kind of "what if then else, could I have done better". And dont listen to the things like "Friends Hug, Lovers Kiss". Sure you gotta make a move, but just follow the flow. Like, hold her hand when you want to, take her along where you want to, and yes when saying goodbye, dont do the quick friends hug but actually try to kiss her, IF YOU WANT TO. But dont go thinking stuff like Hug Bad Kiss Good. It will just make you tense, will probably fuck up the moment, and it will turn you into a self hating wreck.
It's the second date and she has essentially been hitting him in the head with a 2by4 in an attempt to communicate that she is interested. Not kissing her is most likely to communicate disinterested or at least no interest in anything more than being friends. Sure he should only kiss her if he wants to and shouldn't make the kiss into something big, but I'll maintain that a kiss is in order.
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So this girl comes over to watch movie at night. I was like alright, gonna play this out naturally and see what happens, not gonna make a big deal out of it. What happened you ask? Well we watched the movie with 0 physical contact and then she left lol, the shame. So I guess it is extremely unnatural for me to be physical with girls and next time I am really gonna have to force myself to make a move. I'd have to say my upbringing is the cause of this, basically been taught that wanting sex outside of marriage is equivalent to being a rapist. I'm more motivated to take action now though, I can't let that scenario happen again lol
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On April 24 2014 19:48 Ghostcom wrote:
Wait until tonight before you freak out - no matter what you can't really do anything right now. The ball is on her part of the court. However, being slow to reply might mean that she is hesitating or might just mean that she is trying to keep you on your toes and interested. I would guess the latter from what you have said.
EDIT: Also, kiss her, don't go for the hug. Friends hug. Couples kiss.
Still no answer on my date suggestion; but I received another message from her yesterday after work asking if I am mad at her. (Yesterday was a bad day for me and she probably thought it was because of her). She added a " " at the end.
I replied that I´m becoming big and green when I´m mad, it was a rough day + she should relax. Plus "" here and there.
I think it is kinda funny that she´s not able to respond to my dating request for three days, but instantly wrote me a message when she got home from work (where I met her for a short time) to ask whether I´m mad at her...
On April 25 2014 18:35 Slayers_Red.Cracker wrote:
JoeCool, STOP OVERTHINKING!!!!! She is showing signs that it's okay. So just relax and believe that it actually is okay, and go do shit that you like. Tell her something like "ahhh thats a bummer, then its your turn to pick a date for sushi, I'm really excited as well!!!".
Also, she hugs you, thats nice. She probably does not mind touching you which basically means that youre not revolting. Dont go thinking in all kind of "what if then else, could I have done better". And dont listen to the things like "Friends Hug, Lovers Kiss". Sure you gotta make a move, but just follow the flow. Like, hold her hand when you want to, take her along where you want to, and yes when saying goodbye, dont do the quick friends hug but actually try to kiss her, IF YOU WANT TO. But dont go thinking stuff like Hug Bad Kiss Good. It will just make you tense, will probably fuck up the moment, and it will turn you into a self hating wreck.
I guess you´re right about the overthinking... although I really want to know why it is that diffcult for her to give me a "yes" or a "no".
Anyway, sincere there is still no answer I guess that it´s best to put her on hold.
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On April 26 2014 05:00 biology]major wrote:
So this girl comes over to watch movie at night. I was like alright, gonna play this out naturally and see what happens, not gonna make a big deal out of it. What happened you ask? Well we watched the movie with 0 physical contact and then she left lol, the shame. So I guess it is extremely unnatural for me to be physical with girls and next time I am really gonna have to force myself to make a move. I'd have to say my upbringing is the cause of this, basically been taught that wanting sex outside of marriage is equivalent to being a rapist. I'm more motivated to take action now though, I can't let that scenario happen again lol
I could go into monstrous details about sex outside of marriage, but equating it to being a rapist is is just illogical. Did she hint that she wanted more from you? Are you guys good friends? Perhaps she just wanted to watch a movie. If not, did she ever look at you during it?
Moar details!
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On April 26 2014 23:39 IronManSC wrote:Show nested quote +On April 26 2014 05:00 biology]major wrote:
So this girl comes over to watch movie at night. I was like alright, gonna play this out naturally and see what happens, not gonna make a big deal out of it. What happened you ask? Well we watched the movie with 0 physical contact and then she left lol, the shame. So I guess it is extremely unnatural for me to be physical with girls and next time I am really gonna have to force myself to make a move. I'd have to say my upbringing is the cause of this, basically been taught that wanting sex outside of marriage is equivalent to being a rapist. I'm more motivated to take action now though, I can't let that scenario happen again lol I could go into monstrous details about sex outside of marriage, but equating it to being a rapist is is just illogical. Did she hint that she wanted more from you? Are you guys good friends? Perhaps she just wanted to watch a movie. If not, did she ever look at you during it? Moar details!
I feel like if youre close when youre watching a movie or something, throwing or atleast attempting to put your arm around her can convey your intention. Alot of times i'll do that and if she lets me thats all i'll go for, then in about 10 or so minutes make up an excuse to stand up for a second(cut a light off, cut heater down go piss or whatever) come back and do it again, if she likes it or wants to do more usually she'll cuddle up to you and make it a bit more obvious in my experience. If she still don't do shit then just assume she doesnt want much more but really if she lets you do anything physical with her starting with that maybe into a bit of cuddling type stuff youre usually in.
Also i really feel like, i guess it could just be girls here i dont really know, but when you get to cuddling(even on a first date or first time meeting), kissing + sex has usually a 90% chance of happening afterwords once that starts. anyone else feel this way?
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OP here. So let me tell you guys and gals a quick story. So my former best friend of 15 years and no longer talk. My father passed away and she chose to spend her time with a method head so she could get iced while I dealt with the whole situation alone. My family erupted against one another over my father's belongings because there was no will and I was the first born and it all should have gone to me but some of my family took it upon themselves to take anyways. I then moved to a new city where I know nobody and currently working at a burger king. However this other friend of mine, let's call her Sue. Her and I have been hitting it off over facebook for several months now and I used to go drinking with Sue and some friends, and party with her and just do stuff, but never her by herself. Sue wants to spend a week with me at my apartment in my new town and I think her and I might become something here. She's been supportive of some of my PTS from my father and her and I share stories constantly of our ex's in a rather humorous light. Like how they both cheated on us with one another and how they left us and now they're the ones alone, burning every bridge.
Sue sure is someone wonderful. Never have I had someone initiate conversation with me as much as I do with them, or give sincere complements. It is so interesting to me to have a thing with a girl who isn't scummy, and is all I find attractive in a girl, good looking, thin, artistic, honest, etc.
It sounds incredibly cliché but she is truly a step up from the dirtballs I've dated. Although even though I was never prompted about rules being applied in my own thread I guess I'll end this with my dating "no-no's" and terrible girlfriend stories are over for good.
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On April 27 2014 00:41 Metalreflux wrote:
My family erupted against one another over my father's belongings because there was no will and I was the first born and it all should have gone to me.
Firstborn gets everything if there is no will in the US? What time is this? 1500?
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That would be funny if all of our girlfriends stalked us here
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On April 27 2014 01:16 Snotling wrote:Show nested quote +On April 27 2014 00:41 Metalreflux wrote:
My family erupted against one another over my father's belongings because there was no will and I was the first born and it all should have gone to me. Firstborn gets everything if there is no will in the US? What time is this? 1500?
Why wouldn't they? If you are the oldest child, and there is no will, someone has to accept responsibility for lingering debts and credits.This doesn't however mean that if someone owes 20,000 on a car and there was a contract that their child get that debt, but rather that if there was 90,000 owed on the house, the bank has to accept your liability should you offer it, to take on the debt rather than foreclosing right away.
But if it were the first MALE child, then that would beg to raise your question, but if there is no wife, or will, than first born is next of kin.
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Netherlands6191 Posts
On April 27 2014 01:27 ragnasaur wrote:
That would be funny if all of our girlfriends stalked us here
If you're from Zimbabwe I probably know your girlfriend...
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On April 27 2014 01:32 Metalreflux wrote:Show nested quote +On April 27 2014 01:16 Snotling wrote:On April 27 2014 00:41 Metalreflux wrote:
My family erupted against one another over my father's belongings because there was no will and I was the first born and it all should have gone to me. Firstborn gets everything if there is no will in the US? What time is this? 1500? Why wouldn't they? If you are the oldest child, and there is no will, someone has to accept responsibility for lingering debts and credits.This doesn't however mean that if someone owes 20,000 on a car and there was a contract that their child get that debt, but rather that if there was 90,000 owed on the house, the bank has to accept your liability should you offer it, to take on the debt rather than foreclosing right away. But if it were the first MALE child, then that would beg to raise your question, but if there is no wife, or will, than first born is next of kin.
how about all children get the same?
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When I read the comments about people even considering that the girl would come over just to watch the movie I bursted out laughing really hard. You guys make my day.
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QUOTE]On April 27 2014 02:01 Snotling wrote:
On April 27 2014 01:32 Metalreflux wrote:Show nested quote +On April 27 2014 01:16 Snotling wrote:On April 27 2014 00:41 Metalreflux wrote:
My family erupted against one another over my father's belongings because there was no will and I was the first born and it all should have gone to me. Firstborn gets everything if there is no will in the US? What time is this? 1500? Why wouldn't they? If you are the oldest child, and there is no will, someone has to accept responsibility for lingering debts and credits.This doesn't however mean that if someone owes 20,000 on a car and there was a contract that their child get that debt, but rather that if there was 90,000 owed on the house, the bank has to accept your liability should you offer it, to take on the debt rather than foreclosing right away. But if it were the first MALE child, then that would beg to raise your question, but if there is no wife, or will, than first born is next of kin.
how about all children get the same? [/QUOTE]
Well who chooses that? What if one two of the three children were handicapped? What if one of the children was disowned? Who pays the person to choose? How do you devide a watch three ways? What if the other two children are under 18? You can't make rules for every situation because then every situation needs to be ruled over, compared to one rule for all situations.
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On April 27 2014 03:05 aTnClouD wrote:
When I read the comments about people even considering that the girl would come over just to watch the movie I bursted out laughing really hard. You guys make my day.
In my experience it's a movie you plan for her to see, but then it just turns into what she wanted to watch all along that night.
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On April 27 2014 03:05 aTnClouD wrote:
When I read the comments about people even considering that the girl would come over just to watch the movie I bursted out laughing really hard. You guys make my day.
And why the fuck wouldn't she ? I have girls come over for movies all the time, I'm not expecting to bang all of them... and they are not either. We don't even know what kind of relationship or history these two had.
On April 27 2014 00:11 arb wrote:
Also i really feel like, i guess it could just be girls here i dont really know, but when you get to cuddling(even on a first date or first time meeting), kissing + sex has usually a 90% chance of happening afterwords once that starts. anyone else feel this way?
Correct. Apart from the girl who just like friendly cuddling (I know a few) and you know it will stop at that, when you start to get a bit physical, if you don't fuck up, it's a score. Just be tender for a while, only fingers moving on her arm, shoulder, slightly neck, don't go too fast, make her wait a little bit (a *little*, not 2 hours), and when you make a move she'll already be turned on and ready since her mind had the time to feel, dream and expect !
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On April 27 2014 04:14 Metalreflux wrote:Show nested quote +On April 27 2014 02:01 Snotling wrote:On April 27 2014 01:32 Metalreflux wrote:On April 27 2014 01:16 Snotling wrote:On April 27 2014 00:41 Metalreflux wrote:
My family erupted against one another over my father's belongings because there was no will and I was the first born and it all should have gone to me. Firstborn gets everything if there is no will in the US? What time is this? 1500? Why wouldn't they? If you are the oldest child, and there is no will, someone has to accept responsibility for lingering debts and credits.This doesn't however mean that if someone owes 20,000 on a car and there was a contract that their child get that debt, but rather that if there was 90,000 owed on the house, the bank has to accept your liability should you offer it, to take on the debt rather than foreclosing right away. But if it were the first MALE child, then that would beg to raise your question, but if there is no wife, or will, than first born is next of kin. how about all children get the same? Well who chooses that? What if one two of the three children were handicapped? What if one of the children was disowned? Who pays the person to choose? How do you devide a watch three ways? What if the other two children are under 18? You can't make rules for every situation because then every situation needs to be ruled over, compared to one rule for all situations.
You might be surprised but what Snotling said actually is the one rule for all situations over here unless there was a specific arrangement differing from it.
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On April 27 2014 04:29 Nouar wrote:Show nested quote +On April 27 2014 03:05 aTnClouD wrote:
When I read the comments about people even considering that the girl would come over just to watch the movie I bursted out laughing really hard. You guys make my day. And why the fuck wouldn't she ? I have girls come over for movies all the time, I'm not expecting to bang all of them... and they are not either. We don't even know what kind of relationship or history these two had. Show nested quote +On April 27 2014 00:11 arb wrote:
Also i really feel like, i guess it could just be girls here i dont really know, but when you get to cuddling(even on a first date or first time meeting), kissing + sex has usually a 90% chance of happening afterwords once that starts. anyone else feel this way? Correct. Apart from the girl who just like friendly cuddling (I know a few) and you know it will stop at that, when you start to get a bit physical, if you don't fuck up, it's a score. Just be tender for a while, only fingers moving on her arm, shoulder, slightly neck, don't go too fast, make her wait a little bit (a *little*, not 2 hours), and when you make a move she'll already be turned on and ready since her mind had the time to feel, dream and expect !
Idk any girl i've had ask me to come over/me ask them to come over to "watch a movie" usually means they wanna fuck straight up lol.
I even had a girl once, who we had agree'd on dinner and she made up some bullshit excuse to get out of it, i thought she was just standing me up being a cunt, texts me a couple hours after and asks if she can just come over instead, i was pretty stoked about that. (ended up banging her after wanting to for like 4 years lolol)
I feel like that is close to 100% because if she gets that friendly with you the first time you met her chances are shes gonna want some dick and you just happen to be the one there to give it to her lol.
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On April 27 2014 01:35 dravernor wrote:Show nested quote +On April 27 2014 01:27 ragnasaur wrote:
That would be funny if all of our girlfriends stalked us here If you're from Zimbabwe I probably know your girlfriend...
#gold.
Also, Metal, this is why a will is so important, remember that for yourself. With that said, I hope this goes well with your girl Sue.
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EPT
