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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On May 07 2014 03:36 biology]major wrote:
So I posted earlier about having a girl over to watch a movie, which ended in an epic friendzone because I didn't do anything physically. So I had to make some drastic changes to how I approached women and asked a girl out to some drinks. We sit on a bench in an isolated area on top of a school building, drinking wine and looking at stars nd what not ( I was already good friends with this girl so she wasn't scared). I was basically like oh god, its happening again.. If I don't do anything we are going to have a repeat of the epic friendzone. So I put my arm around her, nd then things became super comfortable. Held hands, kissed, moved around and came back to my place and watched some GoT and then gg'd (sex). what the fuck all it took was touching her lol.
tl;dr talk means nothing, touch
That's... what I... keep... saying... =P
Grats, enjoy! =)
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On May 07 2014 03:59 r.Evo wrote:Show nested quote +On May 07 2014 03:36 biology]major wrote:
So I posted earlier about having a girl over to watch a movie, which ended in an epic friendzone because I didn't do anything physically. So I had to make some drastic changes to how I approached women and asked a girl out to some drinks. We sit on a bench in an isolated area on top of a school building, drinking wine and looking at stars nd what not ( I was already good friends with this girl so she wasn't scared). I was basically like oh god, its happening again.. If I don't do anything we are going to have a repeat of the epic friendzone. So I put my arm around her, nd then things became super comfortable. Held hands, kissed, moved around and came back to my place and watched some GoT and then gg'd (sex). what the fuck all it took was touching her lol.
tl;dr talk means nothing, touch That's... what I... keep... saying... =P Grats, enjoy! =)
Yeah Game of Thrones is really good  . Gj
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Not sure how much they want us to avoid talking about PUA, but biology]major, that's one of the major points of PUA(it's called kino). The idea is that you can talk and charm all you want, but unless the woman(or man as the case may be) is aggressive/confident, until you start breaching that physical bubble of personal space nothing will actually happen. It will still be just talk.
Chocolate, good luck with that. Hopefully it goes well. I've heard very good things about some frats, so hopefully one works for you.
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On May 07 2014 03:36 biology]major wrote:
So I posted earlier about having a girl over to watch a movie, which ended in an epic friendzone because I didn't do anything physically. So I had to make some drastic changes to how I approached women and asked a girl out to some drinks. We sit on a bench in an isolated area on top of a school building, drinking wine and looking at stars nd what not ( I was already good friends with this girl so she wasn't scared). I was basically like oh god, its happening again.. If I don't do anything we are going to have a repeat of the epic friendzone. So I put my arm around her, nd then things became super comfortable. Held hands, kissed, moved around and came back to my place and watched some GoT and then gg'd (sex). what the fuck all it took was touching her lol.
tl;dr talk means nothing, touch
Got a coffee date with a girl from school this coming sunday, I've known her for more than a year but this is the first time we're going out solo. I'd like to think that I know and can handle women but sometimes I'm not so sure..
This really calmed my nerves, thanks!
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Yay, i am free! I have a good friend (female) i was slowly falling for. I tried escalating things by seeing her more often, finally asked her out, got denied. Things stayed freindly though, we regularly watch GoT together on my couch and i can't help but find scenarios in which she tells me she made a terrible mistake. Yesterday she informed me she was planning to bring a friend (male) of hers to one of the next GoT evenings who is visiting that week. I think i got it now  If she weren't just so awesome.
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Why am I squeeing so much it's just a date ONE date it's nothing special just go there take a drink with her talk like you would any other girl be yourself and don't force yourself to expect anything like all the times you did and it was really just a friendly thing that ended in "how could you think it was a date-date?"
Why heart calm yourself down it's not the beginning nor the end of a world you don't have to hope for it to go well, it's neither the first nor the last of a song of dozen women curled up in the smoke of your thoughts
It's always the same you feel too much and then you fall but if it's always the same how can it always seem so special
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At what point girls will tell you they already have a boyfriend usually?
Did you experienced asking a girl out, get a yes but learn later on she has a bf? Or do you just assume she's free until proven otherwise?
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On May 07 2014 21:18 TwiggyWan wrote:
At what point girls will tell you they already have a boyfriend usually?
Did you experienced asking a girl out, get a yes but learn later on she has a bf? Or do you just assume she's free until proven otherwise?
Assuming she's free until she says otherwise is fine. Personally, as soon as I get the hint I'm being hit on, I find a way to mention I'm taken. She shouldn't say yes to going out if she has a boyfriend...
So say you hit it off really well with someone, go on several dates, everything seems just perfect and you both decide that you'd like this to develop into a real relationship. In all the talking you did, for some reason age didn't come up until after this decision... and then it comes up and you learn there's a 10 year gap. We're both grad students so that usually puts you within 4-5 years of each other, so that's what I assumed.
What opinions do you all have on age differences? Age is just a number, yeah? Even if that number is bigger than you're comfortable with, it shouldn't be a deciding factor as to whether or not you keep seeing someone... right?
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On May 07 2014 21:46 Ideal26 wrote:Show nested quote +On May 07 2014 21:18 TwiggyWan wrote:
At what point girls will tell you they already have a boyfriend usually?
Did you experienced asking a girl out, get a yes but learn later on she has a bf? Or do you just assume she's free until proven otherwise? Assuming she's free until she says otherwise is fine. Personally, as soon as I get the hint I'm being hit on, I find a way to mention I'm taken. She shouldn't say yes to going out if she has a boyfriend... So say you hit it off really well with someone, go on several dates, everything seems just perfect and you both decide that you'd like this to develop into a real relationship. In all the talking you did, for some reason age didn't come up until after this decision... and then it comes up and you learn there's a 10 year gap. We're both grad students so that usually puts you within 4-5 years of each other, so that's what I assumed. What opinions do you all have on age differences? Age is just a number, yeah? Even if that number is bigger than you're comfortable with, it shouldn't be a deciding factor as to whether or not you keep seeing someone... right?
you cant be serious
well we really like each other but then he/she told me some number and now i dont wanna anymore
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+ Show Spoiler +On May 07 2014 21:51 Kleinmuuhg wrote:Show nested quote +On May 07 2014 21:46 Ideal26 wrote:On May 07 2014 21:18 TwiggyWan wrote:
At what point girls will tell you they already have a boyfriend usually?
Did you experienced asking a girl out, get a yes but learn later on she has a bf? Or do you just assume she's free until proven otherwise? Assuming she's free until she says otherwise is fine. Personally, as soon as I get the hint I'm being hit on, I find a way to mention I'm taken. She shouldn't say yes to going out if she has a boyfriend... So say you hit it off really well with someone, go on several dates, everything seems just perfect and you both decide that you'd like this to develop into a real relationship. In all the talking you did, for some reason age didn't come up until after this decision... and then it comes up and you learn there's a 10 year gap. We're both grad students so that usually puts you within 4-5 years of each other, so that's what I assumed. What opinions do you all have on age differences? Age is just a number, yeah? Even if that number is bigger than you're comfortable with, it shouldn't be a deciding factor as to whether or not you keep seeing someone... right? you cant be serious well we really like each other but then he/she told me some number and now i dont wanna anymore
I'm not saying I'm ending anything; I have no intentions to. I know it can lead to issues down the road though, being in different stages of life and such. I was just seeking opinions/experience on the matter to get a feeling for whether or not that typically becomes a huge issue.
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On May 07 2014 22:06 Ideal26 wrote:+ Show Spoiler +On May 07 2014 21:51 Kleinmuuhg wrote:Show nested quote +On May 07 2014 21:46 Ideal26 wrote:On May 07 2014 21:18 TwiggyWan wrote:
At what point girls will tell you they already have a boyfriend usually?
Did you experienced asking a girl out, get a yes but learn later on she has a bf? Or do you just assume she's free until proven otherwise? Assuming she's free until she says otherwise is fine. Personally, as soon as I get the hint I'm being hit on, I find a way to mention I'm taken. She shouldn't say yes to going out if she has a boyfriend... So say you hit it off really well with someone, go on several dates, everything seems just perfect and you both decide that you'd like this to develop into a real relationship. In all the talking you did, for some reason age didn't come up until after this decision... and then it comes up and you learn there's a 10 year gap. We're both grad students so that usually puts you within 4-5 years of each other, so that's what I assumed. What opinions do you all have on age differences? Age is just a number, yeah? Even if that number is bigger than you're comfortable with, it shouldn't be a deciding factor as to whether or not you keep seeing someone... right? you cant be serious well we really like each other but then he/she told me some number and now i dont wanna anymore I'm not saying I'm ending anything; I have no intentions to. I know it can lead to issues down the road though, being in different stages of life and such. I was just seeking opinions/experience on the matter to get a feeling for whether or not that typically becomes a huge issue.
you said you were unsure whether it was a "deciding factor"
Going of the assumption that there might be issues down the road is pretty easy as there always are going to be issues of some sorts. Preemptively questionning a relationship due to it sounds pretty dumb, but thats just my opinion
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On May 07 2014 22:10 Kleinmuuhg wrote:Show nested quote +On May 07 2014 22:06 Ideal26 wrote:+ Show Spoiler +On May 07 2014 21:51 Kleinmuuhg wrote:Show nested quote +On May 07 2014 21:46 Ideal26 wrote:On May 07 2014 21:18 TwiggyWan wrote:
At what point girls will tell you they already have a boyfriend usually?
Did you experienced asking a girl out, get a yes but learn later on she has a bf? Or do you just assume she's free until proven otherwise? Assuming she's free until she says otherwise is fine. Personally, as soon as I get the hint I'm being hit on, I find a way to mention I'm taken. She shouldn't say yes to going out if she has a boyfriend... So say you hit it off really well with someone, go on several dates, everything seems just perfect and you both decide that you'd like this to develop into a real relationship. In all the talking you did, for some reason age didn't come up until after this decision... and then it comes up and you learn there's a 10 year gap. We're both grad students so that usually puts you within 4-5 years of each other, so that's what I assumed. What opinions do you all have on age differences? Age is just a number, yeah? Even if that number is bigger than you're comfortable with, it shouldn't be a deciding factor as to whether or not you keep seeing someone... right? you cant be serious well we really like each other but then he/she told me some number and now i dont wanna anymore I'm not saying I'm ending anything; I have no intentions to. I know it can lead to issues down the road though, being in different stages of life and such. I was just seeking opinions/experience on the matter to get a feeling for whether or not that typically becomes a huge issue. you said you were unsure whether it was a "deciding factor" Going of the assumption that there might be issues down the road is pretty easy as there always are going to be issues of some sorts. Preemptively questionning a relationship due to it sounds pretty dumb, but thats just my opinion
stop being a hater like you would be in a serious relationship with someone 10 years older without batting an eye. maybe you're old or desperate tho i don't know.
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On May 07 2014 22:06 Ideal26 wrote:+ Show Spoiler +On May 07 2014 21:51 Kleinmuuhg wrote:Show nested quote +On May 07 2014 21:46 Ideal26 wrote:On May 07 2014 21:18 TwiggyWan wrote:
At what point girls will tell you they already have a boyfriend usually?
Did you experienced asking a girl out, get a yes but learn later on she has a bf? Or do you just assume she's free until proven otherwise? Assuming she's free until she says otherwise is fine. Personally, as soon as I get the hint I'm being hit on, I find a way to mention I'm taken. She shouldn't say yes to going out if she has a boyfriend... So say you hit it off really well with someone, go on several dates, everything seems just perfect and you both decide that you'd like this to develop into a real relationship. In all the talking you did, for some reason age didn't come up until after this decision... and then it comes up and you learn there's a 10 year gap. We're both grad students so that usually puts you within 4-5 years of each other, so that's what I assumed. What opinions do you all have on age differences? Age is just a number, yeah? Even if that number is bigger than you're comfortable with, it shouldn't be a deciding factor as to whether or not you keep seeing someone... right? you cant be serious well we really like each other but then he/she told me some number and now i dont wanna anymore I'm not saying I'm ending anything; I have no intentions to. I know it can lead to issues down the road though, being in different stages of life and such. I was just seeking opinions/experience on the matter to get a feeling for whether or not that typically becomes a huge issue.
You said you were both in grad school, so doesn't that put you at relatively the same stage in your life? There's no harm in just trying it for a while, it's not like you are getting married right away (unless she's underage, but in this case I think she is the older one?)
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On May 07 2014 23:46 ComaDose wrote:Show nested quote +On May 07 2014 22:10 Kleinmuuhg wrote:On May 07 2014 22:06 Ideal26 wrote:+ Show Spoiler +On May 07 2014 21:51 Kleinmuuhg wrote:Show nested quote +On May 07 2014 21:46 Ideal26 wrote:On May 07 2014 21:18 TwiggyWan wrote:
At what point girls will tell you they already have a boyfriend usually?
Did you experienced asking a girl out, get a yes but learn later on she has a bf? Or do you just assume she's free until proven otherwise? Assuming she's free until she says otherwise is fine. Personally, as soon as I get the hint I'm being hit on, I find a way to mention I'm taken. She shouldn't say yes to going out if she has a boyfriend... So say you hit it off really well with someone, go on several dates, everything seems just perfect and you both decide that you'd like this to develop into a real relationship. In all the talking you did, for some reason age didn't come up until after this decision... and then it comes up and you learn there's a 10 year gap. We're both grad students so that usually puts you within 4-5 years of each other, so that's what I assumed. What opinions do you all have on age differences? Age is just a number, yeah? Even if that number is bigger than you're comfortable with, it shouldn't be a deciding factor as to whether or not you keep seeing someone... right? you cant be serious well we really like each other but then he/she told me some number and now i dont wanna anymore I'm not saying I'm ending anything; I have no intentions to. I know it can lead to issues down the road though, being in different stages of life and such. I was just seeking opinions/experience on the matter to get a feeling for whether or not that typically becomes a huge issue. you said you were unsure whether it was a "deciding factor" Going of the assumption that there might be issues down the road is pretty easy as there always are going to be issues of some sorts. Preemptively questionning a relationship due to it sounds pretty dumb, but thats just my opinion stop being a hater like you would be in a serious relationship with someone 10 years older without batting an eye. maybe you're old or desperate tho i don't know.
im not being a hater and its not about going out and searching for partners who are 10 years older.
in this situation 2 people already found themselves and seem to be happy until one side finds out about the age
nice try "calling me out" though
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Age (within reason) is just a number in my experience. Stage of life is what actually matters in my experience (which also explains why the age-difference seems to matter less and less the older you get).
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Good god, Tinder is amazing.
I would have never guessed that
a) I actually get quite a few matches
b) those actually lead to conversations
c) those actually lead to dates
d) those actually lead to getting intimate
I'm just happy it's still not too big in Germany, all of the matches I've 'talked' to were either students or done with uni, so I didn't have to deal with the stereotypical 'has four kids from five different men'-types.
I think what I like most about it is how fast you can leave it behind.
Most of the dates I had so far were seven or eight messages in Tinder, a short Skype chat and then an actual meet-up.
On May 07 2014 21:18 TwiggyWan wrote:
At what point girls will tell you they already have a boyfriend usually?
Depends.
If you're hot, they tell you after you had sex a couple of times.
If you look like me, that's literally the first thing they say when you even think of looking in their direction.
I'm not joking, I have a really handsome male friend and he has the 'I have a boyfriend / I have a husband'-talk like once a week and it's always after they have slept with him repeatedly.
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On May 08 2014 06:37 SixStrings wrote:Good god, Tinder is amazing. I would have never guessed that a) I actually get quite a few matches b) those actually lead to conversations c) those actually lead to dates d) those actually lead to getting intimate I'm just happy it's still not too big in Germany, all of the matches I've 'talked' to were either students or done with uni, so I didn't have to deal with the stereotypical 'has four kids from five different men'-types. I think what I like most about it is how fast you can leave it behind. Most of the dates I had so far were seven or eight messages in Tinder, a short Skype chat and then an actual meet-up. Show nested quote +On May 07 2014 21:18 TwiggyWan wrote:
At what point girls will tell you they already have a boyfriend usually?
Depends. If you're hot, they tell you after you had sex a couple of times. If you look like me, that's literally the first thing they say when you even think of looking in their direction. I'm not joking, I have a really handsome male friend and he has the 'I have a boyfriend / I have a husband'-talk like once a week and it's always after they have slept with him repeatedly.
Kuckuckskinder FTW! :D <-German word for a child who is raised by a man who only hinks he is the father.
Some studies say that is the case for up to 12 pecent of children (though 2-5% is moe realistic)
Women are often on the lookout for some ood genes^^
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On May 08 2014 06:37 SixStrings wrote:Show nested quote +On May 07 2014 21:18 TwiggyWan wrote:
At what point girls will tell you they already have a boyfriend usually?
Depends. If you're hot, they tell you after you had sex a couple of times. If you look like me, that's literally the first thing they say when you even think of looking in their direction. I'm not joking, I have a really handsome male friend and he has the 'I have a boyfriend / I have a husband'-talk like once a week and it's always after they have slept with him repeatedly.
It's much less about your actual looks and more about what you represent.
If you get the "I have a boyfriend" extremely early on you're too direct and/or come across way too attracted way too quickly.
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Spain17989 Posts
On May 08 2014 19:06 r.Evo wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2014 06:37 SixStrings wrote:On May 07 2014 21:18 TwiggyWan wrote:
At what point girls will tell you they already have a boyfriend usually?
Depends. If you're hot, they tell you after you had sex a couple of times. If you look like me, that's literally the first thing they say when you even think of looking in their direction. I'm not joking, I have a really handsome male friend and he has the 'I have a boyfriend / I have a husband'-talk like once a week and it's always after they have slept with him repeatedly. It's much less about your actual looks and more about what you represent. If you get the "I have a boyfriend" extremely early on you're too direct and/or come across way too attracted way too quickly.
Obviously the other guy wasn't coming on strongly enough... he only got the "I have a boyfriend" after sleeping with the girl.
Alternative hypothesis: Six's friend is really bad in bed?
On a more serious note: I'd rather come on strongly enough to get told she has a boyfriend during first contact than after 2 dates... and I don't think it's coming on too strong. Of course, SixString is a special case, and could probably have avoided half of his epic troubles if he had actually listened to the girls when they say something important like that
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On May 08 2014 19:49 Acrofales wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2014 19:06 r.Evo wrote:On May 08 2014 06:37 SixStrings wrote:On May 07 2014 21:18 TwiggyWan wrote:
At what point girls will tell you they already have a boyfriend usually?
Depends. If you're hot, they tell you after you had sex a couple of times. If you look like me, that's literally the first thing they say when you even think of looking in their direction. I'm not joking, I have a really handsome male friend and he has the 'I have a boyfriend / I have a husband'-talk like once a week and it's always after they have slept with him repeatedly. It's much less about your actual looks and more about what you represent. If you get the "I have a boyfriend" extremely early on you're too direct and/or come across way too attracted way too quickly. Alternative hypothesis: Six's friend is really bad in bed?
Oh man, thank you for that, I'll propose this hypothesis when next I get the chance.
Really looking forward to that conversation!
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EPT
