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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
dravernor
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
Netherlands6190 Posts
May 09 2014 05:20 GMT
#9281
On May 09 2014 10:32 chadissilent wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 08 2014 23:57 KwarK wrote:
On May 08 2014 22:43 chadissilent wrote:
The strangest thing I've ever heard from a girl in bed is "you're so much bigger than my boyfriend." It has happened on multiple occasions too. Other times girls just tell me they have a boyfriend right away, I make it clear I'm not hitting on them, and we usually talk for a bit.

Not to ruin it for you but 90% chance that if she says that she's left her phone on speaker on a call to him and he's jacking it off on the other end.

Not to ruin it for you but I know that is 100% not the case. It was just said in the heat of the moment as I was smashing them like a champ.

That is at least what you would like to believe
<3
LeeDawg
Profile Joined April 2012
United States1306 Posts
May 09 2014 07:12 GMT
#9282
girlfriend and I are now taking a break. Wasn't really working, and although I'm kind of sad about it, I'm kind of relieved. The whole situation was becoming a bit of a burden, and we've both got to figure our own respective shit out before we can do anything romantic.

I'm probably going to look around for some casual stuff though, nothing bad about that as long as me and the hypothetical partner have an understanding.
:-)
Zooper31
Profile Joined May 2009
United States5711 Posts
May 09 2014 07:17 GMT
#9283
On May 09 2014 16:12 LeeDawg wrote:
girlfriend and I are now taking a break. Wasn't really working, and although I'm kind of sad about it, I'm kind of relieved. The whole situation was becoming a bit of a burden, and we've both got to figure our own respective shit out before we can do anything romantic.

I'm probably going to look around for some casual stuff though, nothing bad about that as long as me and the hypothetical partner have an understanding.


A break? Or a breakup. If me and my gf were taking a break, no way in hell I'd allow her to fuck other dudes in the meantime... Break can be good to look at your options, have some time to yourself and to figure out where you both want to be. Not a pass to see other guys/girls, that's what breakups are for. Least in my opinion.
Asato ma sad gamaya, tamaso ma jyotir gamaya, mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
ScoutWBF
Profile Joined April 2005
Germany628 Posts
May 09 2014 07:38 GMT
#9284
On May 09 2014 16:17 Zooper31 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 09 2014 16:12 LeeDawg wrote:
girlfriend and I are now taking a break. Wasn't really working, and although I'm kind of sad about it, I'm kind of relieved. The whole situation was becoming a bit of a burden, and we've both got to figure our own respective shit out before we can do anything romantic.

I'm probably going to look around for some casual stuff though, nothing bad about that as long as me and the hypothetical partner have an understanding.


A break? Or a breakup. If me and my gf were taking a break, no way in hell I'd allow her to fuck other dudes in the meantime... Break can be good to look at your options, have some time to yourself and to figure out where you both want to be. Not a pass to see other guys/girls, that's what breakups are for. Least in my opinion.


I second this. When my ex-GF asked for a break, I told her that if she has any intimate contact with another guy, I won't want her back.
Didn't last long after the break anyway.

If you're not even sad about the break, just break up completely. It won't work afterwards anyway, as neither you or your GF seem to very invested in the relationship.
TwiggyWan
Profile Blog Joined December 2013
France333 Posts
May 09 2014 09:23 GMT
#9285
On May 09 2014 10:52 SixStrings wrote:


"Boys, whoever she is, she will trade a lifetime of love and happiness with you for a night with a well hung stranger."



I knew it!
No bad days
Monsen
Profile Joined December 2002
Germany2548 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-05-14 06:59:53
May 09 2014 09:25 GMT
#9286
On May 09 2014 18:23 TwiggyWan wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 09 2014 10:52 SixStrings wrote:


"Boys, whoever she is, she will trade a lifetime of love and happiness with you for a night with a well hung stranger."



I knew it!


WOMEN ARE PIGS !!!! *rabble, rabble*

11 years and counting- TL #680
jrkirby
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States1510 Posts
May 09 2014 09:45 GMT
#9287
+ Show Spoiler +
God, so many posts in this thread are shit.


So I met this girl on tinder, and it turns out we have a real lot in common. We've been chatting an absolute ton (which is maybe bad for me because finals aren't over yet) and we really turn each other on. I've invited her over the weekend after this one, after my finals (and my roommate leaves), and I get the impression we're gonna have a real lot of sex.

So, yay! After about 15 months of no sex at all, I think I'm finally gonna get laid again!
JoeCool
Profile Joined January 2012
Germany2520 Posts
May 09 2014 11:28 GMT
#9288
On May 07 2014 03:59 r.Evo wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 07 2014 03:36 biology]major wrote:
So I posted earlier about having a girl over to watch a movie, which ended in an epic friendzone because I didn't do anything physically. So I had to make some drastic changes to how I approached women and asked a girl out to some drinks. We sit on a bench in an isolated area on top of a school building, drinking wine and looking at stars nd what not ( I was already good friends with this girl so she wasn't scared). I was basically like oh god, its happening again.. If I don't do anything we are going to have a repeat of the epic friendzone. So I put my arm around her, nd then things became super comfortable. Held hands, kissed, moved around and came back to my place and watched some GoT and then gg'd (sex). what the fuck all it took was touching her lol.

tl;dr talk means nothing, touch

That's... what I... keep... saying... =P

Grats, enjoy! =)


And what if you are (still) a virgin?
It seems like the whole dating is about having sex as soon as possible; but that won´t work out if you´re to nervous. :/
Kleinmuuhg
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Vanuatu4091 Posts
May 09 2014 11:42 GMT
#9289
On May 09 2014 20:28 JoeCool wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 07 2014 03:59 r.Evo wrote:
On May 07 2014 03:36 biology]major wrote:
So I posted earlier about having a girl over to watch a movie, which ended in an epic friendzone because I didn't do anything physically. So I had to make some drastic changes to how I approached women and asked a girl out to some drinks. We sit on a bench in an isolated area on top of a school building, drinking wine and looking at stars nd what not ( I was already good friends with this girl so she wasn't scared). I was basically like oh god, its happening again.. If I don't do anything we are going to have a repeat of the epic friendzone. So I put my arm around her, nd then things became super comfortable. Held hands, kissed, moved around and came back to my place and watched some GoT and then gg'd (sex). what the fuck all it took was touching her lol.

tl;dr talk means nothing, touch

That's... what I... keep... saying... =P

Grats, enjoy! =)


And what if you are (still) a virgin?
It seems like the whole dating is about having sex as soon as possible; but that won´t work out if you´re to nervous. :/

dating is about what you want it to be , dont let other people set the goals for you
This is our town, scrub
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14080 Posts
May 09 2014 12:10 GMT
#9290
On May 09 2014 20:28 JoeCool wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 07 2014 03:59 r.Evo wrote:
On May 07 2014 03:36 biology]major wrote:
So I posted earlier about having a girl over to watch a movie, which ended in an epic friendzone because I didn't do anything physically. So I had to make some drastic changes to how I approached women and asked a girl out to some drinks. We sit on a bench in an isolated area on top of a school building, drinking wine and looking at stars nd what not ( I was already good friends with this girl so she wasn't scared). I was basically like oh god, its happening again.. If I don't do anything we are going to have a repeat of the epic friendzone. So I put my arm around her, nd then things became super comfortable. Held hands, kissed, moved around and came back to my place and watched some GoT and then gg'd (sex). what the fuck all it took was touching her lol.

tl;dr talk means nothing, touch

That's... what I... keep... saying... =P

Grats, enjoy! =)


And what if you are (still) a virgin?
It seems like the whole dating is about having sex as soon as possible; but that won´t work out if you´re to nervous. :/

All the general principles stay the same no matter in which situation. It's still in a nutshell about emotional and sexual attraction.

By definition if you're a guy, have a functioning wiener and are into girls you already know what sexual attraction feels like. Also by definition if you're a human being and ever had an extended emotional contact to another human being you already know what a solid emotional connection feels like.

At a super basic level every single successful seduction goes through these steps:
-Find partner you're sexually attracted to.
-Go along well with partner.
-Ensure that the other side knows through actions (not words!) that you're attracted to them.

---> Work with feedback.


Whether you're a virgin or not is absolutely irrelevant. You'll still have to go out, meet girls and get comfortable being around them. You still have to learn how you appear as a potential sexual partner (and not "only" as a friend). And you'll still have to learn what certain reactions mean and how to adjust to them.
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
May 09 2014 14:16 GMT
#9291
On May 09 2014 14:08 Najda wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 09 2014 13:39 chadissilent wrote:
On May 09 2014 10:52 SixStrings wrote:
On May 09 2014 10:32 chadissilent wrote:
On May 08 2014 23:57 KwarK wrote:
On May 08 2014 22:43 chadissilent wrote:
The strangest thing I've ever heard from a girl in bed is "you're so much bigger than my boyfriend." It has happened on multiple occasions too. Other times girls just tell me they have a boyfriend right away, I make it clear I'm not hitting on them, and we usually talk for a bit.

Not to ruin it for you but 90% chance that if she says that she's left her phone on speaker on a call to him and he's jacking it off on the other end.

Not to ruin it for you but I know that is 100% not the case. It was just said in the heat of the moment as I was smashing them like a champ.


Now isn't that an uplifting message for all the youngsters coming here for dating advice.

"Boys, whoever she is, she will trade a lifetime of love and happiness with you for a night with a well hung stranger."

Here's the takeaway message: Girls love sex just as much as guys, sometimes even more. They're just not allowed to admit it due to societal norms.


Liking sex is not the same thing as cheating, which is what he was talking about.


Yeah, and I wasn't really serious, at any rate.
LeeDawg
Profile Joined April 2012
United States1306 Posts
May 09 2014 17:10 GMT
#9292
On May 09 2014 16:38 ScoutWBF wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 09 2014 16:17 Zooper31 wrote:
On May 09 2014 16:12 LeeDawg wrote:
girlfriend and I are now taking a break. Wasn't really working, and although I'm kind of sad about it, I'm kind of relieved. The whole situation was becoming a bit of a burden, and we've both got to figure our own respective shit out before we can do anything romantic.

I'm probably going to look around for some casual stuff though, nothing bad about that as long as me and the hypothetical partner have an understanding.


A break? Or a breakup. If me and my gf were taking a break, no way in hell I'd allow her to fuck other dudes in the meantime... Break can be good to look at your options, have some time to yourself and to figure out where you both want to be. Not a pass to see other guys/girls, that's what breakups are for. Least in my opinion.


I second this. When my ex-GF asked for a break, I told her that if she has any intimate contact with another guy, I won't want her back.
Didn't last long after the break anyway.

If you're not even sad about the break, just break up completely. It won't work afterwards anyway, as neither you or your GF seem to very invested in the relationship.


I'm definitely sad about it, it's just been coming for a while. Just glad it ended on friendly terms and not an argument.
:-)
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland26063 Posts
May 10 2014 17:48 GMT
#9293
Shitty love life still, curses. Minibat is prospering well but his mum is being a royal pain the arse. TLDR, continually flipping and flopping as to where 'we' stand, which eventually just pissed me off to such a degree that I just said fuck it and am gradually excising her from my life where Minibat isn't concerned.

Unfortunately she is that type that seems to thrive in such scenarios, namely me getting angry is me 'fighting for her' and all that crap.

I am in no rush to find anyone, but would be nice to meet some new folks so I may return to the world of the internet . Actually got introduced to a friends new lady and they're a pretty cool couple and met on PoF. I have yet to really figure out the knack of using such tools, any generalised tips?
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
LeeDawg
Profile Joined April 2012
United States1306 Posts
May 10 2014 17:51 GMT
#9294
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/closed-threads/98041-kennigits-guide-to-online-dating

great thread on the subject that helped me a ton.
:-)
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-05-11 17:12:58
May 11 2014 17:06 GMT
#9295
My god, another wonderful date thanks to Tinder.

It's amazing how 'pro-active' Tinder-girls are. Match, she messages me first, she suggests meeting up, doesn't even flinch when I say 'Let's go to my place' within 2 minutes of meeting her and asks if I minded her staying the night.

That makes five successful dates within three weeks and two of them even want to see me again.

At this rate, I'll find love in no time.

On May 11 2014 02:48 Wombat_NI wrote:
Shitty love life still, curses. Minibat is prospering well but his mum is being a royal pain the arse. TLDR, continually flipping and flopping as to where 'we' stand, which eventually just pissed me off to such a degree that I just said fuck it and am gradually excising her from my life where Minibat isn't concerned.

Unfortunately she is that type that seems to thrive in such scenarios, namely me getting angry is me 'fighting for her' and all that crap.

I am in no rush to find anyone, but would be nice to meet some new folks so I may return to the world of the internet . Actually got introduced to a friends new lady and they're a pretty cool couple and met on PoF. I have yet to really figure out the knack of using such tools, any generalised tips?


Seriously, use Tinder.
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland26063 Posts
May 11 2014 17:34 GMT
#9296
Your tawdry tales may convince me. It does seem pretty useful from what I've seen when my friend showed me how it functioned, takes a bit of the trawling/onus on the guy to message etc
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
chadissilent
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Canada1187 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-05-15 16:33:59
May 11 2014 21:01 GMT
#9297
edit
levelping
Profile Joined May 2010
Singapore759 Posts
May 11 2014 23:39 GMT
#9298
On May 12 2014 02:06 SixStrings wrote:
My god, another wonderful date thanks to Tinder.

It's amazing how 'pro-active' Tinder-girls are. Match, she messages me first, she suggests meeting up, doesn't even flinch when I say 'Let's go to my place' within 2 minutes of meeting her and asks if I minded her staying the night.

That makes five successful dates within three weeks and two of them even want to see me again.

At this rate, I'll find love in no time.

Show nested quote +
On May 11 2014 02:48 Wombat_NI wrote:
Shitty love life still, curses. Minibat is prospering well but his mum is being a royal pain the arse. TLDR, continually flipping and flopping as to where 'we' stand, which eventually just pissed me off to such a degree that I just said fuck it and am gradually excising her from my life where Minibat isn't concerned.

Unfortunately she is that type that seems to thrive in such scenarios, namely me getting angry is me 'fighting for her' and all that crap.

I am in no rush to find anyone, but would be nice to meet some new folks so I may return to the world of the internet . Actually got introduced to a friends new lady and they're a pretty cool couple and met on PoF. I have yet to really figure out the knack of using such tools, any generalised tips?


Seriously, use Tinder.


You know if you took 5 minutes off from all that amazing sex you're having and read the mod note, you'd see that posts like yours are the reason why this thread is on the verge of being closed down.
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
May 12 2014 00:39 GMT
#9299
At this point if they closed the thread nothing of real value would be lost.
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland26063 Posts
May 12 2014 01:48 GMT
#9300
So what falls under the auspices of acceptable discussion? I like the variety of value systems and how posters negotiate their own particular issues and pursue their own desires in radically different ways.
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
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