Dating: How's your luck? - Page 441

On March 20 2014 07:24 Dogfoodboy16 wrote:
Literally every song made in the 1970's was about statutory rape. These songs created rape culture.

On March 20 2014 07:33 freewareplayer wrote:
Just reading through the last pages is a serious case of "wtf did i just read". Rape, stupid arguments, white knights, a non fact topic which cant be proven either way, internet in a nutshell.


Like this, what the eff sorta argument is this? Statutory rape isnt even rape unless were talking some pedophile level shit here. So why the fuck would you compare having sex with some 16-17 year old girl and/or writing songs about it evidence or foundation of "rape culture".

On March 20 2014 05:59 fishjie wrote:


What songs are there about raping people are on the radio? These are the kind of sensationalist claims feminists make. Yes there is rap music about having sex with lots of girls at the club, but unless you consider having a one night stand with a girl rape, that's not a song about rape being played all over the radio. There are songs about rape, such as Immortal Technique's dance with the devil, however the song shows how awful rape is. Rape culture is offensive to me because it implies that because I'm a guy I condone raping women and do it myself. Wtf?! Rape is committed by a minority and those people are thrown in jail. Rape is so vilified here that men's entire reputations are ruined by false rape claims because their information is leaked by the media and they are presumed guilty off the bat.

On March 20 2014 07:45 freewareplayer wrote:
i fully realised that and went ahead with it anyway, theres a point where im baffled by things i consider stupid, after which ill drag myself down with em for all i care. One of my many flaws.

But really, bringing songs about having consentual sex with young women as evidence or foundation about rape culture... jeez, I prefered if more people would be really ignorant towards lolololol claims or opinions like this.

On March 20 2014 08:31 KwarK wrote:
Who is responsible for the rape with the options of the victim being not to blame, partially to blame and totally to blame.

On March 20 2014 08:25 KwarK wrote:
Well, a decade ago Amnesty international commissed polling company ICM to look into views on rape in the UK. Some shocking findings include
4% of respondents believe that a woman is totally to blame for being a victim of rape if she was intoxicated.
26% of respondents said that a woman who had been drinking was partially to blame for being a victim of rape.
6% of respondents said that if she had flirted with her rapist she was totally to blame for the subsequent rape (totally as in the rapist was in no way at fault for raping her), while 28% said flirting made her partially to blame.
6% also viewed wearing revealing clothing as entirely justifying a sexual assault and absolving the rapist of all blame while 20% thought it made her partially to blame.
Promiscuity is even more damning with 8% of people believing that a promiscuous woman is totally to blame for being a victim of her own rape although only 14% more said she was partially to blame.
The more minor crime of walking alone at night still, in the mind of 5% of respondents, made a woman totally to blame for her own rape although 17% of people were generous enough to only give her a portion of the blame, perhaps saving some for the person who decided to rape her.

So yes, oddly enough when you ask people when it's okay to rape someone an awful lot of them will list a dozen scenarios in which she brought it on herself through her actions with a significant minority of around 5% believing that the rapist has absolutely no blame for the rape because she was drinking or flirting. It sounds bizarre if you're not a rapist, that so many people literally believe this stuff, but basically there are a huge number of rapists out there and they literally don't get that they're doing anything wrong. Hard to believe if the idea of raping someone is incomprehensible to you, as I hope it would be, but how often do you really discuss this kind of shit with your peers? It might not be so strange to them, not if the girl wore revealing clothing and therefore deserved it anyway.

On March 20 2014 06:11 ComaDose wrote:

rapey songs include Blurred Lines, Blame it on the alcohol, Age ain't nothing but a number. And you conveniently ignored what i said about college bar chants. which is a much more obvious example

you've made it abundantly clear you dont know what it means. you should look it up before you keep gussing. as a hint this is wrong.

On March 20 2014 07:50 Kukaracha wrote:

Rape occurs in a grey area. The size of this "is-this-rape?" zone varies from one culture to another.

You seem to have a sensationalist vision of rape, while in most cases it happens in a very trivial, familiar environment and is undereported because of that. If I remember correctly, it is estimated that in France about 80% of victims knew the rapist - abusing a passed out cousin at a party, throwing yourself on a friend who's too puzzled to say no, playing "games" with your little nice. All these things are in the end fairly common and take place in silence. The extent of this phenomenon is hypothetical, since any information is mostly gathered by associations and not by the police, usually long after the events, but common guesses points towards a general underepresentation of rape and abuse in statistics.

The odd thing is that many men are much, much more vocal about the few false rape claims that happen here and there but don't seem concerned by the fact that their own sister might one day reveal that some cousin fingered her at a wedding when she was 12.

But as I said, such things vary greatly from one country to another. Scandinavia has the reputation to treat this matter very seriously, while other nations like France seem very prone to street harassment. We recently had numerous waves of stories told by women on tumblr and other blogs about harassment and abuse they had suffered on the streets, which seems somewhat frequent.

Some elements that you may consider to understand how this is a "grey area" :

• victims often do not say "no" at the time, or fail to express their "opinion" loudly enough to stop the rapist. The phenomenon is hard to understand for some people, but psychologists stress that the mental state of the victim is in those cases altered by the absurdity of the situation - it's no different than being victim to a strange and/or shocking form of assault. In short, victims go through psychological chaos caused by the extreme character of the situation.
  
• a more subtle approach to what is called "rape culture" appears if you consider that dating, in our culture, puts men in the place of predators, and women in the place of prey. It's a state of mind that is toxic in both ways: it excludes those we call "beta males", and promotes the use of violence towards women in the context of romance.
  
• the concept of consent is a complex one, that is (I feel) oversimplified in the case of men. The desire for sex and simplicity often puts this question aside, when consent is often the result of many conflicting factors, some superficial like physical attraction and others more complex, like moral structure.
  
• sex is still a big deal for us. And we are in no way equals. Women though are still the losers in my eyes, as the slut/virgin dichotomy persists: society puts pressure on girls to be sexual beings, but at the same time teaches them that they're a temple that can be villified if visited too often. In short, people want girls to fuck, but not too much, because they would be sluts, and sluts are bad.