Dating: How's your luck? - Page 371

On January 08 2014 06:07 rezoacken wrote:
Texting someone after 4 years is usually not a very good idea.

As to options you can:
-Keep going to parties and avoid the guy you don't like, or ignore his jokes, or twist them around to your advantage. And talk to the girls there.
-Talk to the ones in your activities outside school
-Ask friends (preferably female friends) if they can hook you up. Not just for prom, a real date.

What does "ldr" mean ?



Pfff bullshit. There's no age to learn an instrument. Sure you might not become a rock star or a producer but who cares, you either want to play and age is irrelevant or you don't.
And people learning at 6 are good because between 6 and 25 there are freaking 19years. Of course there is no way you can be as good in 2years at 22.

On January 08 2014 06:41 Chocolate wrote:

Hmm I think you are right about texting. We do have a few things in common though: we both really care about school, we both do medical research at the local university, I did know her for like 6 years before I stopped talking to her (though that could be more of a bad thing), and most importantly her friend group seems to overlap somewhat with my group. My friend sent her a snapchat of me and him to her recently and she seemed pretty excited, and back when I talked to her she was usually the one to text me (but hell, we were like 13-14). At the same time I don't know if she is seeing someone else or isn't interested. If I know any girls in my peer group who are probably worth the time in actually having a relationship, she is it, though. I guess I can talk to my friends and ask about her.

The thing about the friend is that if I avoid him I wouldn't know many people. I don't really go to parties with him as-is, but I've been with him while I try to talk to girls before. I could probably ask him to take me to one, but it sounds nerve-wracking to show up to a party and only know one guy that you intend to stay away from and to try to chat up girls that literally have no clue who you are.

About activities outside of school, it is really only academic team competitions where I come into contact with girls. It's kind of hard to approach someone there because typically all the time is spent playing against each other, when you can't talk outside of answering, or chilling with your team. And there are only like 4-5 tournaments left in the year. My team is always playing and I am always playing and busy because I'm the captain and we always make it to the finals *flexes epeen*

I was kind of just wondering if there were an alternative option when it comes to meeting more girls. Yeah I could ask my friends who don't go to parties but still have girlfriends to introduce me to their girlfriends' friends for a date, but I was hoping for an approach that would not be as potentially awkward. I know awkward is all in your head, but still. I think I will try to find out about that girl I mentioned previously though, she seems to be my best option.

LDR stands for long-distance relationship by the way

On January 08 2014 06:07 rezoacken wrote:


Pfff bullshit. There's no age to learn an instrument. Sure you might not become a rock star or a producer but who cares, you either want to play and age is irrelevant or you don't.
And people learning at 6 are good because between 6 and 25 there are freaking 19years. Of course there is no way you can be as good in 2years at 22.

On January 08 2014 06:41 Chocolate wrote:

Hmm I think you are right about texting. We do have a few things in common though: we both really care about school, we both do medical research at the local university, I did know her for like 6 years before I stopped talking to her (though that could be more of a bad thing), and most importantly her friend group seems to overlap somewhat with my group. My friend sent her a snapchat of me and him to her recently and she seemed pretty excited, and back when I talked to her she was usually the one to text me (but hell, we were like 13-14). At the same time I don't know if she is seeing someone else or isn't interested. If I know any girls in my peer group who are probably worth the time in actually having a relationship, she is it, though. I guess I can talk to my friends and ask about her.

The thing about the friend is that if I avoid him I wouldn't know many people. I don't really go to parties with him as-is, but I've been with him while I try to talk to girls before. I could probably ask him to take me to one, but it sounds nerve-wracking to show up to a party and only know one guy that you intend to stay away from and to try to chat up girls that literally have no clue who you are.

About activities outside of school, it is really only academic team competitions where I come into contact with girls. It's kind of hard to approach someone there because typically all the time is spent playing against each other, when you can't talk outside of answering, or chilling with your team. And there are only like 4-5 tournaments left in the year. My team is always playing and I am always playing and busy because I'm the captain and we always make it to the finals *flexes epeen*

I was kind of just wondering if there were an alternative option when it comes to meeting more girls. Yeah I could ask my friends who don't go to parties but still have girlfriends to introduce me to their girlfriends' friends for a date, but I was hoping for an approach that would not be as potentially awkward. I know awkward is all in your head, but still. I think I will try to find out about that girl I mentioned previously though, she seems to be my best option.

LDR stands for long-distance relationship by the way

On January 08 2014 07:37 Chocolate wrote:
It is important for my parents that I go to prom. Nobody ever asked my mom's best friend, and even though I don't give two shits about prom my parents want me to go so that no girl has to feel like her (which is a fucking retarded reason, but whatever). If I don't find someone, either they will or they will make me feel like a loser.

I am definitely looking forward to college but I don't want to get ahead of myself.

On January 08 2014 08:15 MysteryMeat1 wrote:


My parents said i wasnt allowed to go to prom. And if i really really wanted to, they wpuld allow me to take a girl from church who was 6 years older than me an my parents faithful watchdog to make sure nothing happened. Thats fucked up.

On January 08 2014 09:39 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
Im not even lieing

+ Show Spoiler +

On January 08 2014 05:13 Volband wrote:

@chadissilent:
From my rather short lived experience, I have to disagree with you on this. When I felt things are woking out and I'm in some kind of a romantic relationship, I suddenly became much more active and confident. I was getting more social with my friends - while usually I like to remain/act forgotten -, I decided to go to the gym, and things like that. Now I kinda slumped back where I was, but I still go to the gym, and still have some of that newly gained motivation, though I'm not doing much with it, just asking pretty much asking around here.

What do you mean by I should read? Like, the background of things I'm interested in, or you mean those things called books? I have a hard time imagining a scenario, when I blast something like "Oh yeah, Orwell wrote once, that..." on a date.

You might touched on a thing that interests me, is probably come off as "cool" to others, and I could probably be quite passionate about it, and it's music, especially composing something. My idol is somewhat of a music producer as well, so you might say "that's it then!", but that's not how it works. We're back to the "I'm 22" topic, and who the fuck starts learning any musical instruments after their 20s, especially if thir motoric skills are bad. You can check up every musician's bio, it stats with "He/She started playing the piano/drums/guitar/bass when he/she was 6". And producing music is kinda hard if you can't actually make music.

I wish I was talented in something, or at least being gifted with something I just had to perfect, like having a good voice. I'm that person who struggles with the negative thoughts you can read out from almost all of my posts in this thread, but makes everyone smile on the outside.

I just want to preface this with a disclaimer: This is MY approach, which has been exceedingly successful in enriching my life with the company of amazing, attractive and worthwhile women. While your results may vary based on environment, execution and other variables, this is not so much about how you do it as why you do it, and your general attitude concerning personal interactions with people you find interesting.

Perhaps the most important position to adopt is not to be too deterministic about approaching strangers. Approaching a stranger with dating/sex as your primary motivator is putting the cart before the horse a bit. Your first motivation should be simply to interact successfully. That means just being good company and enjoying good company for their own sake. That nervousness you feel when approaching a woman, that you don't feel when you talk to a guy? That's what I'm talking about.

The people who find cold approaches most easy and successful are people who are simply happy to be good company to anyone they talk to, male or female. This general air of friendliness and approachability bypasses the "salesman awareness" we all have (the feeling that triggers, for instance, when you get a phone call and you KNOW they're trying to sell you something, and you just want them to go away). It's "I'm not asking anything from you but some pleasant conversation, and I'm not offering anything more than that either (at this point)." When your goal is simply good company, if all you get out of your interaction is some pleasant conversation with an attractive person, you're still WAY ahead, and you don't feel defeated or terrible about yourself when it doesn't go well. You just roll on to the next pleasant conversation with the next attractive person, rather than feel like you just blew your shot with "the one." When you lower the stakes, you risk less and still get the enjoyment of the game, and it's a lot easier for a woman to reject your approach if she thinks you're just trying to fuck her or con her into a date (which is often just pretext for trying to fuck her).

This shift in objective gives you time to determine if this person is someone you actually WANT to know more about, and I promise you that anyone worth having is going to appreciate that opportunity to do the same. You'll find that, in many cases, the person you cold-approach ends up having nothing going on, or raising red flags that you'll be glad you gave her time to reveal before you took it further. We're not talking about a half-hour here-- If you can find a way to keep her attention for five minutes or more, you usually have a LOT more usable information about her suitability than if you just said something nice about her hair and gave her your number.

If you find, after a comfortable amount of chit-chat, that she's worth your time, don't overstay your welcome. Find a natural reason to take off while there's still a little momentum in the discourse (usually looking at the time and saying "Oh, damn, I've got to run" will do the trick), and suggest some means of non-invasive interaction. A phone number is fine, but email is perfectly good too. Just some way of communicating that you enjoyed your chat and would like to continue the interaction later when you've both got time. If she gives you a phone number, text her right there and then. If it's a fake, you know right away and save yourself a lot of hassle. If it's not, now she has YOUR number and the door is open for HER to initiate further contact at her convenience.

Overall, this advice is only useful if you're looking for the company of a worthwhile person that could potentially become an ongoing dating/relationship situation. If you're just looking to get laid, you might find that cold-approaching outside of situations that advance that agenda (clubs, bars, etc) is going to produce mixed results (and invite a lot of chaos and crazy drama into your life).

In any case, good luck.

TL;DR: The world doesn't need another pick-up technician, but it definitely needs more good company. Be good company. People like good company. After that, the rest handles itself.

On January 09 2014 18:02 LeeDawg wrote:
I am so fucking sick of the fucking games people feel the need to play with relationships and shit. Jesus Christ.