EPTOn December 21 2013 18:34 IgnE wrote:
Stop being an insecure piece of shit.
Stop being an insecure piece of shit.
This. You shouldn't even bring it up. If it's that big an issue with you maybe you should find someone who is more closeted in general.
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 355
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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Figgy
Canada1788 Posts
This. You shouldn't even bring it up. If it's that big an issue with you maybe you should find someone who is more closeted in general. | ||
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Belisarius
Australia6233 Posts
On December 21 2013 18:13 FreedomMurder wrote: So my girlfriend posted a semi-scandalous picture as her profile on facebook. I don't have any problems with picture just the thought process that probably went behind it. Why would she post a picture like this unless she wanted guys attention? Why would she want guys attention when shes dating me? I want to talk to her about it but I feel like she will get mad.... what do i do? Honestly I would talk to her, myself. If you're not okay with it it's not a great idea to just ignore it, because that road leads to a lot of unspoken things that can really come back to bite you. If you've been dating for like a few weeks then maybe not, but if you're in an actual relationship she should care what you think. | ||
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IMHope
Korea (South)1241 Posts
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Acrofales
Spain18445 Posts
On December 21 2013 21:00 Volband wrote: Well, I called her, and it was weird. She'll call me in the evening, since she had to go, though she asked if it's okay, lol. 4 weeks ago she didn't even pick up the phone, and now I'm asked if I'm fine with having this conversation later, since she's about to go to work implying that if I had said "no" she probably would've stayed on the phone. People are funny. Anyway, I'm not sure where I want to lead the conversation. I'd like to think she's a manipulative son of a..., but if I'd just think everyone's out to get me, I'd turn insane pretty soon. A sure question of mine is definetly the "what do you want now?", I'm just not sure how should I go about this ignore thingy. I mean, if I force a "yeah, I felt it wasn't working out" answer out of her, then the former question becomes irrelevant for me, because there is no way in hell I would make up with her on a friend-level after this. Also, even if she says sth along the lines that we could try again, I have to tie a knot on my dick, because I have to take charge, and force her into a corner, where she can only say a definite yes or no. So basically, I have to translate "we either get dirty or gtfo" in a way it doesn't sound as blunt. Your mindset doesn't sound like it'll get you anywhere you want to go. Honestly, it sounds like you're still hung up on this girl. That happens, and she is getting back in touch with you. Now you can play the blame game and force her to apologize, which might be satisfying, but it is also a bit petty and vindictive. If you want the relationship to move forward that is not a good starting point... it especially doesn't matter why she ignored you: the signal at the time was clear that she didn't want to see you, talk to you, or have anything to do with you. However, she is now getting back in touch, which means that right now her mindset is different. You need to decide whether she's worth a second chance after what she did. If she is, then go for it. If she's not, then just let her know that you don't want anything more to do with her. You can talk to her and try to figure things out if you aren't sure what you actually want, but those are basically your two options. | ||
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Najda
United States3765 Posts
On December 21 2013 21:20 IMHope wrote: I got a question for this thread. How many of you are actively looking for someone vs those of you who are hoping that one day the girl you've been looking for comes to you? I'd hope people are looking because waiting for the perfect girl to come to you is a fool's game. Not to mention if someone has confidence issues, which is common among guys 'not looking,' they'll likely miss the chance when that girl comes along anyway. | ||
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Chaosu
Poland404 Posts
Oh and Volband, what you did when she first called you was awesome, couldn't have played it better! | ||
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Aeroplaneoverthesea
United Kingdom1977 Posts
On December 21 2013 21:20 IMHope wrote: I got a question for this thread. How many of you are actively looking for someone vs those of you who are hoping that one day the girl you've been looking for comes to you? Women don't really hit on guys that much. If you want a woman and don't want to spend a long time waiting you should be actively looking. | ||
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WonnaPlay
Netherlands912 Posts
It all started when we had our Christmass Party at work. Which is an actual party with alotttt of alcohol and this year they had huge buckets of Flügel (a small drink of about 10%, which normally you only drink when you're 16-17. haha). So this party lasted untill about 0:00, which is pretty early in the night, but trust me, the alcohol percentages are high at this point. Work arranged for busses which drove to different cities, I took one of these busses to my city and called up some friends of mine, who were partying somewhere. Me in my drunken stupor decided to go there aswell and drink even more. The night turns late and it's about 4:00 AM or something and I go to a cab. Now here starts the weirdness, I get into a cab after agreeing on the price to my house. The moment before we (I was alone at this point) drive off a random girl gets in the backseat of the car and she decides to ride with us. I talk a bit with the girl and turns out she has to go the same direction. I then decided that I would chill at a friends place near my home and I asked her to come join. She agreed to come with and we got there at about 4:30 AM. This girl was absolutely crazy, she was from Iceland so we talked in English and when things got crazy I'd talk dutch to my mate, since she could not understand us (even if she could, I didn't care at this point). So after smoking some joints and drinking some more beer, I decide to go home and took this girl with me, where I litterally fucked her brains out. I'm not sure how everything was still working since I was drunk as fuck, but somehow it was all good. This morning she went away and almost left without me having her number, so just before she left I told her to give me her number for whenever one of us wants to enjoy another crazy night. It feels a bit like good karma for me, since the last 4 months I've been dating a girl (it's been over for about a week) without having sex at all. I was in love with this girl, but after many efforts it just didn't work out. | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32158 Posts
On December 21 2013 18:13 FreedomMurder wrote: So my girlfriend posted a semi-scandalous picture as her profile on facebook. I don't have any problems with picture just the thought process that probably went behind it. Why would she post a picture like this unless she wanted guys attention? Why would she want guys attention when shes dating me? I want to talk to her about it but I feel like she will get mad.... what do i do? You'll need to post it so we can give a proper opinion. | ||
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raga4ka
Bulgaria5679 Posts
On December 21 2013 23:50 Najda wrote: I'd hope people are looking because waiting for the perfect girl to come to you is a fool's game. Not to mention if someone has confidence issues, which is common among guys 'not looking,' they'll likely miss the chance when that girl comes along anyway. Normally for me to ask a girl on a date i would have to know her somewhat and like her character as well as looks . I never invite a girl just based on her looks . I would probably have to change that , because it wastes me a lot of time and in the end she either has a boyfriend or isn't interested in me. Might as well ask a bunch of random cute girls out and see if that would have better results. I think i would enjoy myself more and not think about the outcome since i haven't really invested a lot of time and thoughts on what i should be doing to impress her ... Dunno ... i don't hit on girls i don't know , but i guess even for the sake of experience i would try that and see what happens . | ||
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rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
@Volband Not being a girl's pet doesn't mean you should be too angry either. I have a feeling you're being a bit too emotional over a very minor event here. Put that in perspective. But maybe your rage is only for TL folks to witness I don't know. In both situation your emotions cloud your judgement. But still, kudos to actually stand your ground. @IMHope I'm in a couple. I'd advise people to seek and not wait. There's a better chance finding someone you like if you try a lot of people than if you just wait to be chosen. @Wonnaplay You just had your first drunk one night stand. | ||
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Dogfoodboy16
364 Posts
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rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
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VayneAuthority
United States8983 Posts
On December 21 2013 21:20 IMHope wrote: I got a question for this thread. How many of you are actively looking for someone vs those of you who are hoping that one day the girl you've been looking for comes to you? Neither, I prefer the static state of being single as opposed to the ups and downs of a relationship. Plenty of women want the same thing, to mess around or because their career keeps them busy or whatever. in fact it is becoming more common now so it isn't really a big deal. | ||
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Sitinte
United States499 Posts
On December 21 2013 21:20 IMHope wrote: I got a question for this thread. How many of you are actively looking for someone vs those of you who are hoping that one day the girl you've been looking for comes to you? I did actively look last year, but after being in one, it's not really worth expending so much of my energy over for the time being. I still have to finish my last semester of school and get a job before I decide to look for a girl to be in a relationship with. | ||
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lannisport
878 Posts
On December 22 2013 05:48 Sitinte wrote: I did actively look last year, but after being in one, it's not really worth expending so much of my energy over for the time being. I still have to finish my last semester of school and get a job before I decide to look for a girl to be in a relationship with. This, I subscribe to the philosophy of the "lazy man's way" of meeting girls because going out bars/clubs a couple times a week (unless you actually like to do this) specifically to look for girls is a big drain of your resources. That time, money and energy can be better spent elsewhere. If you have certain "magnets" in your life that attract girls you'll meet girls, or rather they'll meet you no matter where you go. Have a fun lifestyle (be fun), have cool friends, have some social awareness, be assertive (and bold now and then). Have a number one in your life above any girl. The other thing I believe in is context. I don't go to random bars or clubs anymore unless I'm actually going there with friends or girls. I'd rather meet someone in an environment where I know that their interests align with mine. I know my types and my niche and where they hang out (which happen to be at the places I'd naturally go to surprise surpise). So I don't actively look but I do find the girls that I look for, and also the girls that look for me . | ||
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sluggaslamoo
Australia4494 Posts
On December 21 2013 21:00 Volband wrote: Well, I called her, and it was weird. She'll call me in the evening, since she had to go, though she asked if it's okay, lol. 4 weeks ago she didn't even pick up the phone, and now I'm asked if I'm fine with having this conversation later, since she's about to go to work implying that if I had said "no" she probably would've stayed on the phone. People are funny. Anyway, I'm not sure where I want to lead the conversation. I'd like to think she's a manipulative son of a..., but if I'd just think everyone's out to get me, I'd turn insane pretty soon. A sure question of mine is definetly the "what do you want now?", I'm just not sure how should I go about this ignore thingy. I mean, if I force a "yeah, I felt it wasn't working out" answer out of her, then the former question becomes irrelevant for me, because there is no way in hell I would make up with her on a friend-level after this. Also, even if she says sth along the lines that we could try again, I have to tie a knot on my dick, because I have to take charge, and force her into a corner, where she can only say a definite yes or no. So basically, I have to translate "we either get dirty or gtfo" in a way it doesn't sound as blunt. I think the issue is that you're massively tilted. You are thinking about how to deal with ignore game, when you just won ignore game, by also ignoring her until she called you back. It doesn't matter anymore, at least if she does it again (and she might), you know what to do, ignore her. This sort of thought pattern is like, trying to think about how to beat an opponent you already beat in the previous round, instead of focusing on your next opponent. By asking her "what do you want now?" even if she wanted your dick do you think she would make any sort of response even remotely alluding to the fact?  If over-thinking is causing you to tilt, then you might be better off switching off your brain and just play on instinct. Also, even if she says sth along the lines that we could try again, I have to tie a knot on my dick, because I have to take charge, and force her into a corner, where she can only say a definite yes or no. So basically, I have to translate "we either get dirty or gtfo" in a way it doesn't sound as blunt. Just a note of warning, people will typically will prefer to stick to their comfort zone, women especially. You can be prince charming but if you put too much pressure on her she will say no. You have to find that fine line between being too forceful and not taking charge, and the only way you can do that is by developing good emotional intelligence. Just saying your mindset currently may not be the best one, but then again everyone is different. Why not instead, create a situation where the odds of her saying yes are at its highest? While you were too busy thinking about the existence of a black and white card, you forgot about the gray card. Honestly the odds are pretty low regardless, but guys who score are the ones who take these low percentages enough times that it becomes a high percentage. They also don't let these low percentage losses get to them, probably because they know its a low percentage so there's no use being all butthurt about it. Also if she does end up rejecting you, you should try to avoid calling her back and trying to "deal with the situation". Because to her there is no situation, you would be making a big deal out of nothing. The best thing to do is not even respond, if she replies with a no, just don't respond, because you have better things to do in your life anyway. And you would be playing ignore game on her instead, which she obviously hates seeing as she called you back for validation, well that's her punishment. Always be rational about the situation, don't let your emotions control you because that's how you make mistakes. Think about how you are going to get to each base one step at a time. On December 21 2013 23:42 Acrofales wrote: Your mindset doesn't sound like it'll get you anywhere you want to go. Honestly, it sounds like you're still hung up on this girl. That happens, and she is getting back in touch with you. Now you can play the blame game and force her to apologize, which might be satisfying, but it is also a bit petty and vindictive. If you want the relationship to move forward that is not a good starting point... it especially doesn't matter why she ignored you: the signal at the time was clear that she didn't want to see you, talk to you, or have anything to do with you. However, she is now getting back in touch, which means that right now her mindset is different. You need to decide whether she's worth a second chance after what she did. If she is, then go for it. If she's not, then just let her know that you don't want anything more to do with her. You can talk to her and try to figure things out if you aren't sure what you actually want, but those are basically your two options. I think this is pretty good advice Anyway good luck to you | ||
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RoyGBiv_13
United States1275 Posts
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Dogfoodboy16
364 Posts
On December 22 2013 19:05 RoyGBiv_13 wrote: Just got dumped at an ugly sweater party. Not one of the highest points in my life. More presents for u | ||
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WonnaPlay
Netherlands912 Posts
On December 22 2013 04:00 rezoacken wrote: @Wonnaplay You just had your first drunk one night stand. Haha, no it wasn't my first drunk one night stand, however it was the first time where I met a girl and literally 5 minutes later took her with me somewhere | ||
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