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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On December 25 2013 22:31 Liquid`Ret wrote:Show nested quote +On December 22 2013 01:47 WonnaPlay wrote: So I was planning on writing something about this chick I was dating for the past couple of months, but last night i've probably had one of the craziest nights ever.
It all started when we had our Christmass Party at work. Which is an actual party with alotttt of alcohol and this year they had huge buckets of Flügel (a small drink of about 10%, which normally you only drink when you're 16-17. haha). So this party lasted untill about 0:00, which is pretty early in the night, but trust me, the alcohol percentages are high at this point. Work arranged for busses which drove to different cities, I took one of these busses to my city and called up some friends of mine, who were partying somewhere. Me in my drunken stupor decided to go there aswell and drink even more. The night turns late and it's about 4:00 AM or something and I go to a cab. Now here starts the weirdness, I get into a cab after agreeing on the price to my house. The moment before we (I was alone at this point) drive off a random girl gets in the backseat of the car and she decides to ride with us. I talk a bit with the girl and turns out she has to go the same direction. I then decided that I would chill at a friends place near my home and I asked her to come join. She agreed to come with and we got there at about 4:30 AM. This girl was absolutely crazy, she was from Iceland so we talked in English and when things got crazy I'd talk dutch to my mate, since she could not understand us (even if she could, I didn't care at this point). So after smoking some joints and drinking some more beer, I decide to go home and took this girl with me, where I litterally fucked her brains out. I'm not sure how everything was still working since I was drunk as fuck, but somehow it was all good. This morning she went away and almost left without me having her number, so just before she left I told her to give me her number for whenever one of us wants to enjoy another crazy night.
It feels a bit like good karma for me, since the last 4 months I've been dating a girl (it's been over for about a week) without having sex at all. I was in love with this girl, but after many efforts it just didn't work out.
well done
have to agree with Ret here. well done mate
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On December 26 2013 00:59 TheKefka wrote:Show nested quote +On December 25 2013 14:59 Dogfoodboy16 wrote: My dad just dropped this dating advise on me. "Find a 2 then drink until she looks like an 8" hahahah this is gold And then you hope he qualifies it by saying he didn't use that approach with your mom.
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On December 25 2013 21:08 Ahzz wrote: I dunno, this isn't an issue where black and white answers apply. Offer her support, offer her help. If she needs help, you could help her out with a couple months of rent, but she should be able to get her act together after that. If she can't, she has a very important life lesson to learn. Unless you two have plans of getting married or something, she should be asking for you to loan her some money which she'll eventually try to pay back rather asking you to keep paying her rent. It may feel natural or romantic to help out your female partner financially, but don't do it if you are attached to the money you give away. If you REALLY don't feel like the money is w/e and you could help almost any important person in similar fashion, don't do it.
But OP knows her and her situation the best, you do whatever YOU feel is right. If it turns out you were wrong, you learned an important lesson, and at least you did what you believed to be right. you dont find it at all odd that she asked for help paying the rent at a place that he would not live at vs any of the other more logical and affordable options they would have?
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On December 26 2013 03:23 QuanticHawk wrote:Show nested quote +On December 25 2013 21:08 Ahzz wrote: I dunno, this isn't an issue where black and white answers apply. Offer her support, offer her help. If she needs help, you could help her out with a couple months of rent, but she should be able to get her act together after that. If she can't, she has a very important life lesson to learn. Unless you two have plans of getting married or something, she should be asking for you to loan her some money which she'll eventually try to pay back rather asking you to keep paying her rent. It may feel natural or romantic to help out your female partner financially, but don't do it if you are attached to the money you give away. If you REALLY don't feel like the money is w/e and you could help almost any important person in similar fashion, don't do it.
But OP knows her and her situation the best, you do whatever YOU feel is right. If it turns out you were wrong, you learned an important lesson, and at least you did what you believed to be right. you dont find it at all odd that she asked for help paying the rent at a place that he would not live at vs any of the other more logical and affordable options they would have? I guess I do, and it's not something I'd do to my partner if I had the choice. Still, I want to assume that the OP knows the reason is good
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if the op knew the reason, it's pretty safe to assume he wouldn't be asking handsome smart strangers such as ouselves
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As the OP to the current discussion, thanks everyone for their inputs. I actually didn't expect that many responses.
My gf has not made plans to actually move out from her place just yet, but it has been a topic that we have been visiting a lot, so I wanted to see what kind of feedback everyone had if that next step was made.
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I'm 21. There's this girl I met a long time ago, but due to schools in different cities, I was not able to make a move at the time. But just now, I did. I asked her out. She said yes.
This is the first real "date" in my life. I have no prior experience with any females. I really like this girl too.
How do I not fuck up? What kind of emotions should I expect to experience during the date and how can I deal with them effectively?
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You're going to fuck up. But it doesn't matter. There will be other girls, and this girl isn't that great.
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the more you think about it, the worse you will fuck up. Wuwei my friend, wuwei
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On December 26 2013 14:48 ShangMing wrote: I'm 21. There's this girl I met a long time ago, but due to schools in different cities, I was not able to make a move at the time. But just now, I did. I asked her out. She said yes.
This is the first real "date" in my life. I have no prior experience with any females. I really like this girl too.
How do I not fuck up? What kind of emotions should I expect to experience during the date and how can I deal with them effectively?
I feel like this is cliche, but be yourself. Don't try to be someone you're not.
If she doesn't like you for who you are, she's not worth your time.
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Depends on the kind of date! For instance if you are going ice skating, you gotta skate
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Main emotion will be anxiety. Hopefully you have fun, too, since that is the point of a date. But she probably either likes you, doesn't like you, or isn't sure about you. Sounds obvious, but you probably already know the answer and thus how the date will go.
Btw you gotta sk8 breh
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On December 24 2013 17:56 rkshox wrote:Show nested quote +On December 24 2013 15:22 rkshox wrote:On December 23 2013 06:35 Holgerius wrote:Moving in with my girlfriend in the beginning of 2014.  Gun b awesum. Speaking of moving in, my girlfriend is thinking about moving out of her parents house in the near future and asked me if I would help her with rent. I've been with her for over 2 years now and she isn't the girl that would ask for something unless she genuinely needed it. I really don't have a problem with this since rent is really high in Taipei, I make almost twice the amount she makes and I will probably being staying over often. Nothing is really set in stone yet, but just wanted to see what you guys thought about the situation. I agree with rezoacken... is it possible/ appropriate/ plausible for you to move in with her?
Well, I'm not opposed to me moving in since I think we have made it to that stage in our relationship, however, it would not make too much sense since we are in a long distance relationship. (Sorry I should've mentioned that in my initial post)
I'm working in China and she's in Taiwan. The reason why I am willing to help her pay rent is because I have no expenses since my company pretty much covers everything. However, every two months I get paid time off to visit Taiwan, so that's when I would actually stay with her if she were to move out.
It would be nice for our relationship because she doesn't get too much privacy when we vid chat since her room is like..part of her parent's living room, just walled off =([/QUOTE]
The key here is how much I think and how much you like her.
If it's a small amount and she will be able to pay it all herself within six months - 1 year period I'd say go for it if you can afford it. If you think this is the girl for you long term then I don't think this is a problem.
What's the reason she can't come and live with you in China?
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On December 26 2013 14:48 ShangMing wrote: I'm 21. There's this girl I met a long time ago, but due to schools in different cities, I was not able to make a move at the time. But just now, I did. I asked her out. She said yes.
This is the first real "date" in my life. I have no prior experience with any females. I really like this girl too.
How do I not fuck up? What kind of emotions should I expect to experience during the date and how can I deal with them effectively?
You already know this girl right? So that's most of the shittyness of a first date dodged right there because you skip all the potential for awkwardness, making meaningless conversation etc..
And see as she knows you and you asked her in person (as opposed to online or through friends etc..) so she clearly finds you attractive.
As far as first dates go this is definitely an easier one to get right.
Just dress well (wear proper shoes, most girls love shoes), pick somewhere nice where you can talk (i.e not the cinema unless she suggests that) that she likes doing. When you're on the date be polite, pick up the cheque and try and be flirty in a none pervy way, but it's important she see's you in a sexual way. Also I personally always open with a hug and finish the date with a kiss but opinions differ on this.
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Once you find a girl who actually meshes well with your personality, you realize you dont need to try to "not fuck up". Things will just happen naturally. Unfortunately sometimes it takes a while for that to happen so you have to go through a bunch of bad relationships or starts of relationships before you can fall into an appropriate one. Girls are easy. Just be yourself, after all its not like you can help it.
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If we'd just be ourselves for our entire life we'd all be slobbering morons crawling on the ground naked who can't speak a single understandable word.
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On December 26 2013 23:24 r.Evo wrote: If we'd just be ourselves for our entire life we'd all be slobbering morons crawling on the ground naked who can't speak a single understandable word. Lol obviously there are social standards and manners, but my point was even if you try to act a certain way it is still you who is acting the part. If youre looking for a hot piece of ass to slam for a few months on and off you better be a hot piece of ass yourself. If not you just have to wait.
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And not get too desparate :p
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On December 26 2013 23:44 Mb79584 wrote:Show nested quote +On December 26 2013 23:24 r.Evo wrote: If we'd just be ourselves for our entire life we'd all be slobbering morons crawling on the ground naked who can't speak a single understandable word. Lol obviously there are social standards and manners, but my point was even if you try to act a certain way it is still you who is acting the part. If youre looking for a hot piece of ass to slam for a few months on and off you better be a hot piece of ass yourself. If not you just have to wait. no you dont
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On December 26 2013 23:45 TheKefka wrote:Show nested quote +On December 26 2013 23:44 Mb79584 wrote:On December 26 2013 23:24 r.Evo wrote: If we'd just be ourselves for our entire life we'd all be slobbering morons crawling on the ground naked who can't speak a single understandable word. Lol obviously there are social standards and manners, but my point was even if you try to act a certain way it is still you who is acting the part. If youre looking for a hot piece of ass to slam for a few months on and off you better be a hot piece of ass yourself. If not you just have to wait. no you dont o
User was warned for this post
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