We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
On December 26 2013 23:24 r.Evo wrote: If we'd just be ourselves for our entire life we'd all be slobbering morons crawling on the ground naked who can't speak a single understandable word.
Lol obviously there are social standards and manners, but my point was even if you try to act a certain way it is still you who is acting the part. If youre looking for a hot piece of ass to slam for a few months on and off you better be a hot piece of ass yourself. If not you just have to wait.
no you dont
o
The problem is exactly this mentality of"IMA FIND ME A HOT PIECE OF ASS TO SLAM". Those kind of people have such a retarded mentality and unreasonably high standard in their mind that they nitpick on every irrelevant thing they can find on a girl. I can honestly say as I have grown older,I find that I'm attracted to more types of girls and it just seems like there aren't that many that I would classify as "ugly" or what ever.The wast majority of girls have something that makes them appealing.To have sex you don't need a top model or your future wife material. If you want to find someone to just have sex with all you need is to kiss a girl and if your brain doesn't tell your penis to get up than leave it at that,otherwise knock yourself out while you are young,it's really not that hard.
On December 26 2013 23:24 r.Evo wrote: If we'd just be ourselves for our entire life we'd all be slobbering morons crawling on the ground naked who can't speak a single understandable word.
Lol obviously there are social standards and manners, but my point was even if you try to act a certain way it is still you who is acting the part. If youre looking for a hot piece of ass to slam for a few months on and off you better be a hot piece of ass yourself. If not you just have to wait.
Nothing will change if you do what you always have done.
If someone has a certain issue that issue won't go away by pretending he's just perfect the way he is. Go change yourself. Be the best self you can be. Be whoever you want to be. Act, try new shit and accept that fucking up is just another step in the learning process. Don't be afraid of mistakes because the more you make the more you will develop as a person.* - Don't be who you are and always have been, try to be like whoever you want to be.
And that is what makes certain people sexy as hell. The first step to being confident as a human being is to try to be less afraid. Confidence comes from experience, experience comes from doing things you haven't done before and then doing them until you are... confident with them.
On December 26 2013 23:24 r.Evo wrote: If we'd just be ourselves for our entire life we'd all be slobbering morons crawling on the ground naked who can't speak a single understandable word.
Lol obviously there are social standards and manners, but my point was even if you try to act a certain way it is still you who is acting the part. If youre looking for a hot piece of ass to slam for a few months on and off you better be a hot piece of ass yourself. If not you just have to wait.
Nothing will change if you do what you always have done.
If someone has a certain issue that issue won't go away by pretending he's just perfect the way he is. Go change yourself. Be the best self you can be. Be whoever you want to be. Act, try new shit and accept that fucking up is just another step in the learning process. Don't be afraid of mistakes because the more you make the more you will develop as a person.* - Don't be who you are and always have been, try to be like whoever you want to be.
And that is what makes certain people sexy as hell. The first step to being confident as a human being is to try to be less afraid. Confidence comes from experience, experience comes from doing things you haven't done before and then doing them until you are... confident with them.
If you still havent found out who you are after high school it might be a little too late to start experimenting. Actually i guess thats what a lot of people do in college, but even then you can only keep an act up for so long.
On December 26 2013 23:24 r.Evo wrote: If we'd just be ourselves for our entire life we'd all be slobbering morons crawling on the ground naked who can't speak a single understandable word.
Lol obviously there are social standards and manners, but my point was even if you try to act a certain way it is still you who is acting the part. If youre looking for a hot piece of ass to slam for a few months on and off you better be a hot piece of ass yourself. If not you just have to wait.
Nothing will change if you do what you always have done.
If someone has a certain issue that issue won't go away by pretending he's just perfect the way he is. Go change yourself. Be the best self you can be. Be whoever you want to be. Act, try new shit and accept that fucking up is just another step in the learning process. Don't be afraid of mistakes because the more you make the more you will develop as a person.* - Don't be who you are and always have been, try to be like whoever you want to be.
And that is what makes certain people sexy as hell. The first step to being confident as a human being is to try to be less afraid. Confidence comes from experience, experience comes from doing things you haven't done before and then doing them until you are... confident with them.
If you still havent found out who you are after high school it might be a little too late to start experimenting. Actually i guess thats what a lot of people do in college, but even then you can only keep an act up for so long.
This is a losers mentality, why would highschool be the deadline? I found out most stuff about myself after I was 24. Just be positive in everything you can be and want to be, and do it at your own pace.
On December 26 2013 23:24 r.Evo wrote: If we'd just be ourselves for our entire life we'd all be slobbering morons crawling on the ground naked who can't speak a single understandable word.
Lol obviously there are social standards and manners, but my point was even if you try to act a certain way it is still you who is acting the part. If youre looking for a hot piece of ass to slam for a few months on and off you better be a hot piece of ass yourself. If not you just have to wait.
Nothing will change if you do what you always have done.
If someone has a certain issue that issue won't go away by pretending he's just perfect the way he is. Go change yourself. Be the best self you can be. Be whoever you want to be. Act, try new shit and accept that fucking up is just another step in the learning process. Don't be afraid of mistakes because the more you make the more you will develop as a person.* - Don't be who you are and always have been, try to be like whoever you want to be.
And that is what makes certain people sexy as hell. The first step to being confident as a human being is to try to be less afraid. Confidence comes from experience, experience comes from doing things you haven't done before and then doing them until you are... confident with them.
If you still havent found out who you are after high school it might be a little too late to start experimenting. Actually i guess thats what a lot of people do in college, but even then you can only keep an act up for so long.
I'm confused as to why highschool or even college would be some sort of deadline for experimenting with new things. The only sort of deadline I can imagine is once you have kids and it becomes important to have stable income to support them. Until then, while you are only responsible for yourself, go ahead and do whatever.
People changing over time is a natural and oftentimes beneficial process. Folks whom I've met that claim to have "found themselves" in high school tend to be narrow minded nitwits. There's a healthy balance to be had between using your past as a basis of understanding yourself and using the present and future in order to change for the better.
On December 26 2013 23:24 r.Evo wrote: If we'd just be ourselves for our entire life we'd all be slobbering morons crawling on the ground naked who can't speak a single understandable word.
Lol obviously there are social standards and manners, but my point was even if you try to act a certain way it is still you who is acting the part. If youre looking for a hot piece of ass to slam for a few months on and off you better be a hot piece of ass yourself. If not you just have to wait.
Nothing will change if you do what you always have done.
If someone has a certain issue that issue won't go away by pretending he's just perfect the way he is. Go change yourself. Be the best self you can be. Be whoever you want to be. Act, try new shit and accept that fucking up is just another step in the learning process. Don't be afraid of mistakes because the more you make the more you will develop as a person.* - Don't be who you are and always have been, try to be like whoever you want to be.
And that is what makes certain people sexy as hell. The first step to being confident as a human being is to try to be less afraid. Confidence comes from experience, experience comes from doing things you haven't done before and then doing them until you are... confident with them.
If you still havent found out who you are after high school it might be a little too late to start experimenting. Actually i guess thats what a lot of people do in college, but even then you can only keep an act up for so long.
I'm confused as to why highschool or even college would be some sort of deadline for experimenting with new things. The only sort of deadline I can imagine is once you have kids and it becomes important to have stable income to support them. Until then, while you are only responsible for yourself, go ahead and do whatever.
Wtf highschool? LOL. No, not even college or graduate school. Some people don't know what they want or who they are until they are dead. It's not an act, it's not a deadline. It's fucking life. If you say that time's passed you by, and you're less than 30, you just want to have the loser mentality because it's safe. Get out there and get some new experiences in man, you'll have a paradigm shift soon after.
Our personalities never change, only our habits. Being yourself doesnt mean keeping bad habits, it only suggests that when you stray too far from your own personality it seems forced and unnatural. People can pick up on the fact that youre trying to be something you arent. Acting like your someone else is what people who want to hide something do. Make your life so you dont have to hide things and act constantly like someone youre not. If people get mad at certain habits you have, change the habit, dot act like you dont have a problem and that all of the negative feedback is because you werent being your "perfect" self. Admit to having flaws. Thats what brings relationships closer. Not telling yourself you have a personality problem that girls just arent attracted to.
On December 27 2013 02:47 Mb79584 wrote: Our personalities never change, only our habits.
Again, even personalities can change. If someone grew up super shy and afraid to talk to anyone then over time changed into a very outgoing person who enjoys interacting with other people, then that's a pretty dramatic personality shift.
On the topic of dating though, just because personalities CAN change, don't expect them to, especially in a partner.
On December 27 2013 02:47 Mb79584 wrote: Our personalities never change, only our habits.
Again, even personalities can change. If someone grew up super shy and afraid to talk to anyone then over time changed into a very outgoing person who enjoys interacting with other people, then that's a pretty dramatic personality shift.
On the topic of dating though, just because personalities CAN change, don't expect them to, especially in a partner.
I guess thats true. I have a few friends who were bery introverted and now they never shut up but expecting people to change is what keeps people in terrible relationships
On December 27 2013 02:47 Mb79584 wrote: Our personalities never change, only our habits.
Again, even personalities can change. If someone grew up super shy and afraid to talk to anyone then over time changed into a very outgoing person who enjoys interacting with other people, then that's a pretty dramatic personality shift.
On the topic of dating though, just because personalities CAN change, don't expect them to, especially in a partner.
I guess thats true. I have a few friends who were bery introverted and now they never shut up but expecting people to change is what keeps people in terrible relationships
My reasoning is similar to yours, in that I want to get better especially with women, but at the same time I hate the fact that I have to "change" myself to be more attractive. I feel that for some, relationships/friends/sex whatever comes really naturally and effortlessly just due to circumstance/upbringing. For the rest of us, we pretty much have to take action and force the issue in order to gain experiences. I do agree that people can very easily sniff out when you are not being genuine, and this is one of the worst things to feel. So all in all change is conflicting, is it worth it though? who knows
On December 27 2013 02:47 Mb79584 wrote: Our personalities never change, only our habits.
Again, even personalities can change. If someone grew up super shy and afraid to talk to anyone then over time changed into a very outgoing person who enjoys interacting with other people, then that's a pretty dramatic personality shift.
On the topic of dating though, just because personalities CAN change, don't expect them to, especially in a partner.
I guess thats true. I have a few friends who were bery introverted and now they never shut up but expecting people to change is what keeps people in terrible relationships
My reasoning is similar to yours, in that I want to get better especially with women, but at the same time I hate the fact that I have to "change" myself to be more attractive. I feel that for some, relationships/friends/sex whatever comes really naturally and effortlessly just due to circumstance/upbringing. For the rest of us, we pretty much have to take action and force the issue in order to gain experiences. I do agree that people can very easily sniff out when you are not being genuine, and this is one of the worst things to feel. So all in all change is conflicting, is it worth it though? who knows
It's worth it if it's a change you want to make in yourself for yourself. I'm pretty introverted but I realized that I was still not that happy because of the minuscule amount of social interaction I was having so I'm working on that. You can start going out more to clubs or bars to meet people and be social, but if you don't like doing that, it's really hard to do that, especially if you're doing it alone.
I know it's been said a lot but the best thing to do is take a small step outside your comfort zone and take a class in something that you would want to learn and meet people that way. Some ideas are a martial arts class, join a gym, check meetup for frisbee in your area or other sports or whatever you like doing. It really depends on where you are from, for example in Orlando I know there is a video game bar which would appeal to a lot of people here.
On December 27 2013 02:47 Mb79584 wrote: Our personalities never change, only our habits.
Again, even personalities can change. If someone grew up super shy and afraid to talk to anyone then over time changed into a very outgoing person who enjoys interacting with other people, then that's a pretty dramatic personality shift.
On the topic of dating though, just because personalities CAN change, don't expect them to, especially in a partner.
I guess thats true. I have a few friends who were bery introverted and now they never shut up but expecting people to change is what keeps people in terrible relationships
My reasoning is similar to yours, in that I want to get better especially with women, but at the same time I hate the fact that I have to "change" myself to be more attractive. I feel that for some, relationships/friends/sex whatever comes really naturally and effortlessly just due to circumstance/upbringing. For the rest of us, we pretty much have to take action and force the issue in order to gain experiences. I do agree that people can very easily sniff out when you are not being genuine, and this is one of the worst things to feel. So all in all change is conflicting, is it worth it though? who knows
It's worth it if it's a change you want to make in yourself for yourself. I'm pretty introverted but I realized that I was still not that happy because of the minuscule amount of social interaction I was having so I'm working on that. You can start going out more to clubs or bars to meet people and be social, but if you don't like doing that, it's really hard to do that, especially if you're doing it alone.
I know it's been said a lot but the best thing to do is take a small step outside your comfort zone and take a class in something that you would want to learn and meet people that way. Some ideas are a martial arts class, join a gym, check meetup for frisbee in your area or other sports or whatever you like doing. It really depends on where you are from, for example in Orlando I know there is a video game bar which would appeal to a lot of people here.
Thats true. Meeting people at those kinds of places takes a lot of awkwardness out of first interactions because you have a common reason to be wherever you are and the topics build off that. Also try just talking to random people at grocery stores or checkout lines. If you say something strange theres a good chance you'll never ser them again so its a good place to practice initiating conversation
On December 27 2013 02:47 Mb79584 wrote: Our personalities never change, only our habits.
Again, even personalities can change. If someone grew up super shy and afraid to talk to anyone then over time changed into a very outgoing person who enjoys interacting with other people, then that's a pretty dramatic personality shift.
On the topic of dating though, just because personalities CAN change, don't expect them to, especially in a partner.
I guess thats true. I have a few friends who were bery introverted and now they never shut up but expecting people to change is what keeps people in terrible relationships
My reasoning is similar to yours, in that I want to get better especially with women, but at the same time I hate the fact that I have to "change" myself to be more attractive. I feel that for some, relationships/friends/sex whatever comes really naturally and effortlessly just due to circumstance/upbringing. For the rest of us, we pretty much have to take action and force the issue in order to gain experiences. I do agree that people can very easily sniff out when you are not being genuine, and this is one of the worst things to feel. So all in all change is conflicting, is it worth it though? who knows
It's worth it if it's a change you want to make in yourself for yourself. I'm pretty introverted but I realized that I was still not that happy because of the minuscule amount of social interaction I was having so I'm working on that. You can start going out more to clubs or bars to meet people and be social, but if you don't like doing that, it's really hard to do that, especially if you're doing it alone.
I know it's been said a lot but the best thing to do is take a small step outside your comfort zone and take a class in something that you would want to learn and meet people that way. Some ideas are a martial arts class, join a gym, check meetup for frisbee in your area or other sports or whatever you like doing. It really depends on where you are from, for example in Orlando I know there is a video game bar which would appeal to a lot of people here.
Thats true. Meeting people at those kinds of places takes a lot of awkwardness out of first interactions because you have a common reason to be wherever you are and the topics build off that. Also try just talking to random people at grocery stores or checkout lines. If you say something strange theres a good chance you'll never ser them again so its a good place to practice initiating conversation
The fastest friendships are made when people are doing things they communally enjoy. Video games is a bit of a male dominated thing, but I will say that certain sports and social activities are definitely a great way of meeting people. Volunteering especially, it shows positive things about everyone present, and it tends to be equal girls to guys. Also, imo, the best way to change yourself is to leave where you are for an extended period of time. Pick a favorite country that is different than your own, and stay there for several months, you'll be surprised how much you can change when you know you'll never see anyone again so you can just do and say exactly what you want deep down.
Traveling also clears your head. Being in a place where nobody knows you is very enlightening and it gives you a confidence boost knowing that you could just go somewhere else and find a completely new set of people
I'm so tired of being a virgin at almost 25 and the insecurity around women it causes that I'm seriously considering losing my virginity to a prostitute. Not just a random streetwhore though, but a bit more high class, one that knows about my situation and is ok with being my first and 'teaching' me.
I know some of you were dying to see how it all turned out, so I finally got it. A couple months ago I posted this:
On October 23 2013 04:10 IronManSC wrote: On november 2, I'll be proposing to my girlfriend. We're gonna go repelling in the mountains at a 180 ft waterfall. At the bottom will be some GoPro cameras set up (hidden), and i'll have her older brother film it while hiding. When she gets down to the bottom (after I go first), i'll be in the water pond next to the waterfall on one knee :D mabye i'll post the video when the time comes.
One person responded:
On October 23 2013 21:19 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: This is really cute Post the video afterwards!
Well, the video has been created. It still needs minor adjustments and color correctness, but this is it!
To start off, it was on Wednesday. A canyoneering expert we knew, and her oldest brother (a photographer and videographer) all met there to scout out the area and get a general feel and idea of what we need to do to prep. The following saturday, it was my girlfriend (now fiance), myself, and the canyoneerer. We acted totally normal and oblivious to the fact that a proposal might be in store.
When we first arrived and were walking, I whispered to Ben if he saw her brothers arrive, and he said no. I got scared that it wasn't going to be timed right. Well, as grateful to God as I am, it was timed PERFECTLY. They got to their place and set up just 15 minutes before we started repelling. It was a wonderful experience, and our wedding is now on June 22, 2014 Needless to say, my dating experience has been amazing with her.
Enjoy the video, for those who wanted to know how it went.
EPT
but expecting people to change is what keeps people in terrible relationships
