EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 359
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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Mb79584
United States164 Posts
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Kleinmuuhg
Vanuatu4091 Posts
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Mb79584
United States164 Posts
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Roman
United States2595 Posts
On December 27 2013 09:11 Mikau wrote: I'm so tired of being a virgin at almost 25 and the insecurity around women it causes that I'm seriously considering losing my virginity to a prostitute. Not just a random streetwhore though, but a bit more high class, one that knows about my situation and is ok with being my first and 'teaching' me. Spending a night with a prostitute will do nothing for your insecurity around women. My advice to you if you really want to overcome this is to find 20 girls who are the right amount of drunk, and tell them your life situation; one of them will undoubtedly be happy to help you out. | ||
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Mikau
Netherlands1446 Posts
I honestly don't even care that much about the idea of having sex. I just hate the fact that I'm still a virgin and the stigma attached to it. It's as if I'm supposed to be ashamed of still being a virgin. I mean, I have tried to find a girlfriend, but more for the affection and not being alone part, where the sex would be an added bonus as opposed to the goal. | ||
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rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
I'm not necessarily against the idea but are you really comfortable going from "still a virgin" to "Had sex once, paid for it". I'm just not sure in terms of stigma or self esteem it's better. Either way I'd still advise to change a few things in your life or attitude first if possible before going that way. Also I must say, your posts feel revealing to me when you say you see sex only as an added bonus. It certainly isn't a really good attitude to have if you're looking for a relationship. Sex usually comes first and then if things clicks after a while it evolves into a real romantic relationship. Not the other way around. It's "I'm attracted to you, let's have some fun. And you're even a good person ! Let's marry and make kids." and not "You're a good person, let's marry. Oh and yeah there's this thing called sex". Not saying it never happens this way but I'd say it's not... "healthy". In other words, maybe wanting sex would be a good first step. | ||
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Azera
3800 Posts
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Azera
3800 Posts
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NbSky
Canada1023 Posts
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
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rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
On December 27 2013 14:35 NbSky wrote: Congrats on the proposal! Looked awesome. Just thought I'd ask for some peoples opinion on a certain subject, I got out of a relationship of 2 years on good terms, very mature, civil, we can still talk and I've even seen my ex a few times, I think we are at a point where if another person were to meet someone it wouldn't hurt..as much. That being said during a recent trip to school (2 hrs away I'm graduated) I ended up hooking and eventually sleeping with a girl. Girls never have been a problem for me, I have more girl friends than guy friends and for the most part all of them love me. That being said, this girl ended up being a good friends recent ex, one part of me needed to do this so it shows I'm over it, and to be honest I sort of wanted to, and before anything happened it was made clear, be mature about this, develop no feelings etc. As she is one of my very good friends as well. Didn't want to complicate things. My question to you guys is, was it wrong to sleep with a friend, to sleep with a friends ex or am I just over thinking things and we are just 2 single people? It will obviously change your relation with said person so it's not a matter of right or wrong but rather whether or not you like said change. Apart from that, overthinking. | ||
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IronManSC
United States2119 Posts
On December 27 2013 10:03 Mikau wrote: How would that help though? In terms of my ego paid sex will probably be less awkward than pity sex. I honestly don't even care that much about the idea of having sex. I just hate the fact that I'm still a virgin and the stigma attached to it. It's as if I'm supposed to be ashamed of still being a virgin. I mean, I have tried to find a girlfriend, but more for the affection and not being alone part, where the sex would be an added bonus as opposed to the goal. Society teaches men that if you don't bang a bunch of girls, you're not cool, and you're not a man (or manly). It is so accustomed into our culture now for dating couples to move in together and have a regular sex life before they're married. It's been accepted as a "normal" thing these days, and therefore if you're not part of the majority, you will feel unaccepted, uncool, and not "part of the crowd." The point is, you're letting society put pressure on you. Is it wrong to be a virgin until you're married? Absolutely not, and I would encourage it actually. It's more special and meaningful to a woman (and you) who will really care about you one day. The people in your life and the media you hear and watch will always tell you to fit in with the crowd and go with the flow. If you firmly believe that you need to wait until marriage, then stick to your guns. That's a noble thing to pride yourself in and it earns quite a bit respect. | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
On December 27 2013 16:29 IronManSC wrote: Society teaches men that if you don't bang a bunch of girls, you're not cool, and you're not a man (or manly). It is so accustomed into our culture now for dating couples to move in together and have a regular sex life before they're married. It's been accepted as a "normal" thing these days, and therefore if you're not part of the majority, you will feel unaccepted, uncool, and not "part of the crowd." The point is, you're letting society put pressure on you. Is it wrong to be a virgin until you're married? Absolutely not, and I would encourage it actually. It's more special and meaningful to a woman (and you) who will really care about you one day. The people in your life and the media you hear and watch will always tell you to fit in with the crowd and go with the flow. If you firmly believe that you need to wait until marriage, then stick to your guns. That's a noble thing to pride yourself in and it earns quite a bit respect. Are you a virgin? I don't think he's a virgin by choice. | ||
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IronManSC
United States2119 Posts
On December 27 2013 16:32 IgnE wrote: Are you a virgin? I don't think he's a virgin by choice. No. I grew up always believing I would be until marriage. At 22 I caved when I was manipulated in a awful, emotionally trapped relationship (and after saying no to her for a few months straight). I eventually broke free from the relationship and have just felt better overall. I'm glad I am out of that mess. Here now at 24 years old, I'm engaged to a wonderful woman who understands my past and forgives me (she's a virgin), and although we are on even terms, part of me still wishes I didn't give in. | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32135 Posts
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States45925 Posts
On December 27 2013 09:31 IronManSC wrote: I know some of you were dying to see how it all turned out, so I finally got it. A couple months ago I posted this: One person responded: Well, the video has been created. It still needs minor adjustments and color correctness, but this is it! To start off, it was on Wednesday. A canyoneering expert we knew, and her oldest brother (a photographer and videographer) all met there to scout out the area and get a general feel and idea of what we need to do to prep. The following saturday, it was my girlfriend (now fiance), myself, and the canyoneerer. We acted totally normal and oblivious to the fact that a proposal might be in store. When we first arrived and were walking, I whispered to Ben if he saw her brothers arrive, and he said no. I got scared that it wasn't going to be timed right. Well, as grateful to God as I am, it was timed PERFECTLY. They got to their place and set up just 15 minutes before we started repelling. It was a wonderful experience, and our wedding is now on June 22, 2014 Needless to say, my dating experience has been amazing with her.Enjoy the video, for those who wanted to know how it went. dawwww! I'm so glad you went ahead and posted it! Congratulations, and you two look really cute together! | ||
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IronManSC
United States2119 Posts
On December 27 2013 16:54 QuanticHawk wrote: that video was sweet hhahah. you were a nice mix of nervous, confident and really, really happy. ive always imagined that is how you will feel when you meet someone worth proposing too. i hope that when it happens to me, i get someone yelling yes into the air. congrats!! She was yelling yes up at Ben who stayed up on top of the cliff (he stayed up there so it would just be me and her at the bottom). He actually filmed it from his position up top! that was Ben, the canyoneering expert's view of the proposal. What's funny is that in his version, Amy is a little woozy and is tripping everywhere. She was yelling "off rope." We're both cracking up even lol. This video gives you a better perspective of the colors and sounds of the environment and sort of the in-between scenes that you don't see in the professional video. | ||
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Xenocide_Knight
Korea (South)2625 Posts
On December 27 2013 16:32 IgnE wrote: Are you a virgin? I don't think he's a virgin by choice. Ye, it doesn't sound to me like his problem is with whether or not society accepts his views on virginity. I think he's just tired of struggling to get laid. Mikau, do you have any friends who are single girls? Drinking away your single worries together with them usually results in what you're looking for. Oh, and super awesome proposal video man! I personally am really looking forward to the day I get to propose. Assuming I find the right girl and it ends well of course. ^^ | ||
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IronManSC
United States2119 Posts
On December 27 2013 17:14 Xenocide_Knight wrote: Oh, and super awesome proposal video man! I personally am really looking forward to the day I get to propose. Assuming I find the right girl and it ends well of course. ^^ It really is a great feeling. Like another person said previously, it's a mixture of nervousness/anxiety, confidence, and happiness, even though you know she'll say yes. It's not so much about wondering if she will say yes or no, but rather hoping that everything you planned goes the way you expected. Proposals these days are really becoming quite creative (social media makes it seem that way), but it's not necessarily about being creative or going all out. For the woman who loves you, you want it to be memorable obviously, but whether or not it's extravagant, it's simply you that matters to her. | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
On December 27 2013 17:58 IronManSC wrote: It really is a great feeling. Like another person said previously, it's a mixture of nervousness/anxiety, confidence, and happiness, even though you know she'll say yes. It's not so much about wondering if she will say yes or no, but rather hoping that everything you planned goes the way you expected. Proposals these days are really becoming quite creative (social media makes it seem that way), but it's not necessarily about being creative or going all out. For the woman who loves you, you want it to be memorable obviously, but whether or not it's extravagant, it's simply you that matters to her. And that's why you went all out to capture the dramatic proposal from three different vantage points. | ||
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