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Dating: How's your luck? - Page 202

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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
Cynry
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
810 Posts
June 20 2013 13:04 GMT
#4021
Well grumbels, I'm indeed not sure that she bit her lips for that reason. But for the rest, you don't know me, so, yeah...
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14080 Posts
June 20 2013 13:51 GMT
#4022
On June 20 2013 21:49 Grumbels wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 20 2013 21:29 r.Evo wrote:
On June 20 2013 21:19 Cynry wrote:
Ok your story makes more sense now, didn't understood that at first.

About mine, the issue isn't that much what to do once contact is made, but rather how to come to this point. I know where she works, as there is only one postal office, but she delivers, she's not cashier as far as I know. So no guarantee to find her there, hence my question. One of my buddy suggested to go and ask a cashier some infos about her, not sure how I feel about that. But I don't see many options to begin with, either that, wait for who knows how long where she works, order more stuff, move on.

I should also add that I'm not looking for a serious relationship, so going out of my way to find her seems a bit disproportionate now that I think about it. Especially as it, I think, would send a wrong message. Maybe I'm overthinking again though, I still do that a lot...

Turn around roles.

Imagine a random girl that you saw for 20 seconds shows up at your workplace or asks a colleague about you. If you're past the point where you believe this is incredibly cute because it's the stuff made for movies, it's just creepy as hell.

You pretty much have two choices:
a) Go find someone else, if you're lucky you'll see that mail girl again eventually.
b) Order something so that it arrives at the same day a week later and chat her up this time. While technically still creepy you can either choose to not let her figure it out or throw it out a bit later when you're already dating. If she doesn't deliver it, tough luck. Your next best option is to order something for every single day of the week until you meet her again!

I don't see how a mailperson one meets for 10 seconds could be so attracted to him (his raw animal magnetism presumably) that she bites her lip and is virtually undressing in front of his eyes. (the commercials say that all it takes is the right deodorant though).

Maybe he's just one sexy fucker. Even if he isn't and it was in his head it doesn't hurt to blurp out an "Oh. Wow. You're cute. Erhm. Sorry, I mean you're wearing a really nice uniform." or some similar crap like this. If she reacts positively there is no reason to not build something from there even though it's really, really rough to avoid flakes in situations like that unless you build them up over a longer timeframe.

In those scenarios I had the most success with just going with the good ol' "YOU again, what is it this time?" over a couple of times before asking for a number/setting up a date.
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
Dark_Chill
Profile Joined May 2011
Canada3353 Posts
June 20 2013 14:35 GMT
#4023
On June 20 2013 18:41 Broetchenholer wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 20 2013 17:05 B.I.G. wrote:
In out itself is a dick move. But don't feel sorry for her, feel sorry for her fiancee that she conveniently forgot to mention to me.


You made a mistake there, i think. Corrected it. You are welcome.

So, with all these alphamales around here, just a question how you would react.

I was with my roleplaying group yesterday, and here in Germany we had around 35 degrees. Unintentionally, i set on the opposide side of the table to our best looking gurl. She probably decided yesterday, that it was too hot to wear a top under her dress, and that dress was really loose. I realized after taking that seat that at every move she did, she basically could have been nude altogether. So i guess i turned into a tomato and tried my best to not just stare at her. She realized that pretty soon and the rest of the evening she did nothing but rearrange her dress :D

So, in the end, it was a liitle awkward... You with all your social skills, would you have found a way to get the awkwardness out of the room?

To clarify, she is not interested in me and i am not interested in her.


Acknowledge it somehow, then talk as if you didn't notice it. Lets her know that it's okay, everything is still fine even after you noticed it.
CUTE MAKES RIGHT
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14080 Posts
June 20 2013 16:00 GMT
#4024
On June 20 2013 23:35 Dark_Chill wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 20 2013 18:41 Broetchenholer wrote:
On June 20 2013 17:05 B.I.G. wrote:
In out itself is a dick move. But don't feel sorry for her, feel sorry for her fiancee that she conveniently forgot to mention to me.


You made a mistake there, i think. Corrected it. You are welcome.

So, with all these alphamales around here, just a question how you would react.

I was with my roleplaying group yesterday, and here in Germany we had around 35 degrees. Unintentionally, i set on the opposide side of the table to our best looking gurl. She probably decided yesterday, that it was too hot to wear a top under her dress, and that dress was really loose. I realized after taking that seat that at every move she did, she basically could have been nude altogether. So i guess i turned into a tomato and tried my best to not just stare at her. She realized that pretty soon and the rest of the evening she did nothing but rearrange her dress :D

So, in the end, it was a liitle awkward... You with all your social skills, would you have found a way to get the awkwardness out of the room?

To clarify, she is not interested in me and i am not interested in her.


Acknowledge it somehow, then talk as if you didn't notice it. Lets her know that it's okay, everything is still fine even after you noticed it.

a) Turn into tomato because you're afraid of what you really would like to do
b) Stare at her and be creepy
c) Acknowledge it. From "I love summer" when looking at her to "Nice dress" with a smirk it's all fun and games. What you do exactly should be based on how you judge your self-esteem, the stronger it is the more open and forward you can be about it. If it's on the low end I wouldn't even do it open in front of the group and maybe figure out something more subtle/nonverbal.

Just adding to you because I'm not entirely sure what you mean by "talking as if you didn't notice it" - there's nothing wrong with looking at a woman and sexualizing her, a good portion of social intelligence helps a long way to draw the line between creepy ape and flirty/funny.
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
Cynry
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
810 Posts
June 20 2013 19:12 GMT
#4025
On June 20 2013 22:51 r.Evo wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 20 2013 21:49 Grumbels wrote:
On June 20 2013 21:29 r.Evo wrote:
On June 20 2013 21:19 Cynry wrote:
Ok your story makes more sense now, didn't understood that at first.

About mine, the issue isn't that much what to do once contact is made, but rather how to come to this point. I know where she works, as there is only one postal office, but she delivers, she's not cashier as far as I know. So no guarantee to find her there, hence my question. One of my buddy suggested to go and ask a cashier some infos about her, not sure how I feel about that. But I don't see many options to begin with, either that, wait for who knows how long where she works, order more stuff, move on.

I should also add that I'm not looking for a serious relationship, so going out of my way to find her seems a bit disproportionate now that I think about it. Especially as it, I think, would send a wrong message. Maybe I'm overthinking again though, I still do that a lot...

Turn around roles.

Imagine a random girl that you saw for 20 seconds shows up at your workplace or asks a colleague about you. If you're past the point where you believe this is incredibly cute because it's the stuff made for movies, it's just creepy as hell.

You pretty much have two choices:
a) Go find someone else, if you're lucky you'll see that mail girl again eventually.
b) Order something so that it arrives at the same day a week later and chat her up this time. While technically still creepy you can either choose to not let her figure it out or throw it out a bit later when you're already dating. If she doesn't deliver it, tough luck. Your next best option is to order something for every single day of the week until you meet her again!

I don't see how a mailperson one meets for 10 seconds could be so attracted to him (his raw animal magnetism presumably) that she bites her lip and is virtually undressing in front of his eyes. (the commercials say that all it takes is the right deodorant though).

Maybe he's just one sexy fucker. Even if he isn't and it was in his head it doesn't hurt to blurp out an "Oh. Wow. You're cute. Erhm. Sorry, I mean you're wearing a really nice uniform." or some similar crap like this. If she reacts positively there is no reason to not build something from there even though it's really, really rough to avoid flakes in situations like that unless you build them up over a longer timeframe.

In those scenarios I had the most success with just going with the good ol' "YOU again, what is it this time?" over a couple of times before asking for a number/setting up a date.

Mh, what's a flake in this context ?
Also, we have separate deliverer for packages and regular mails. Unlikely that I'll see her again that way.
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14080 Posts
June 20 2013 21:16 GMT
#4026
On June 21 2013 04:12 Cynry wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 20 2013 22:51 r.Evo wrote:
On June 20 2013 21:49 Grumbels wrote:
On June 20 2013 21:29 r.Evo wrote:
On June 20 2013 21:19 Cynry wrote:
Ok your story makes more sense now, didn't understood that at first.

About mine, the issue isn't that much what to do once contact is made, but rather how to come to this point. I know where she works, as there is only one postal office, but she delivers, she's not cashier as far as I know. So no guarantee to find her there, hence my question. One of my buddy suggested to go and ask a cashier some infos about her, not sure how I feel about that. But I don't see many options to begin with, either that, wait for who knows how long where she works, order more stuff, move on.

I should also add that I'm not looking for a serious relationship, so going out of my way to find her seems a bit disproportionate now that I think about it. Especially as it, I think, would send a wrong message. Maybe I'm overthinking again though, I still do that a lot...

Turn around roles.

Imagine a random girl that you saw for 20 seconds shows up at your workplace or asks a colleague about you. If you're past the point where you believe this is incredibly cute because it's the stuff made for movies, it's just creepy as hell.

You pretty much have two choices:
a) Go find someone else, if you're lucky you'll see that mail girl again eventually.
b) Order something so that it arrives at the same day a week later and chat her up this time. While technically still creepy you can either choose to not let her figure it out or throw it out a bit later when you're already dating. If she doesn't deliver it, tough luck. Your next best option is to order something for every single day of the week until you meet her again!

I don't see how a mailperson one meets for 10 seconds could be so attracted to him (his raw animal magnetism presumably) that she bites her lip and is virtually undressing in front of his eyes. (the commercials say that all it takes is the right deodorant though).

Maybe he's just one sexy fucker. Even if he isn't and it was in his head it doesn't hurt to blurp out an "Oh. Wow. You're cute. Erhm. Sorry, I mean you're wearing a really nice uniform." or some similar crap like this. If she reacts positively there is no reason to not build something from there even though it's really, really rough to avoid flakes in situations like that unless you build them up over a longer timeframe.

In those scenarios I had the most success with just going with the good ol' "YOU again, what is it this time?" over a couple of times before asking for a number/setting up a date.

Mh, what's a flake in this context ?
Also, we have separate deliverer for packages and regular mails. Unlikely that I'll see her again that way.

In general even in situations like this where you barely know someone (<10 minutes) it's not hard to get the phone number if you do your stuff right. However it IS hard to build enough of a connection that she doesn't walk away with some kind of "Fuck, how could I give my number away like that?" and will just not answer calls afterwards.
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
sambo400
Profile Joined March 2011
United States378 Posts
June 20 2013 22:53 GMT
#4027
So I asked a girl to go out on friday and she said yes. But she told me the next day she's like 3 weeks pregnant. I had no idea.

Thats a new one...
jrkirby
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States1510 Posts
June 20 2013 23:15 GMT
#4028
On June 21 2013 07:53 sambo400 wrote:
So I asked a girl to go out on friday and she said yes. But she told me the next day she's like 3 weeks pregnant. I had no idea.

Thats a new one...


Give your time-traveling future self a high five and congratulations.
aTnClouD
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Italy2428 Posts
June 20 2013 23:16 GMT
#4029
On June 21 2013 07:53 sambo400 wrote:
So I asked a girl to go out on friday and she said yes. But she told me the next day she's like 3 weeks pregnant. I had no idea.

Thats a new one...

You still have time until she gets fat
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g64/hunter692007/kruemelmonsteryn0.gif
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland26225 Posts
June 20 2013 23:19 GMT
#4030
On June 21 2013 08:16 aTnClouD wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 21 2013 07:53 sambo400 wrote:
So I asked a girl to go out on friday and she said yes. But she told me the next day she's like 3 weeks pregnant. I had no idea.

Thats a new one...

You still have time until she gets fat

Unless she was fat to begin with

Strange situation to be in man, I mean my gf fell pregnant relatively quickly after we were dating, but at least the decisions to be made there were with the knowledge that the wee guy was mine!
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
Cynry
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
810 Posts
June 20 2013 23:24 GMT
#4031
On June 21 2013 06:16 r.Evo wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 21 2013 04:12 Cynry wrote:
On June 20 2013 22:51 r.Evo wrote:
On June 20 2013 21:49 Grumbels wrote:
On June 20 2013 21:29 r.Evo wrote:
On June 20 2013 21:19 Cynry wrote:
Ok your story makes more sense now, didn't understood that at first.

About mine, the issue isn't that much what to do once contact is made, but rather how to come to this point. I know where she works, as there is only one postal office, but she delivers, she's not cashier as far as I know. So no guarantee to find her there, hence my question. One of my buddy suggested to go and ask a cashier some infos about her, not sure how I feel about that. But I don't see many options to begin with, either that, wait for who knows how long where she works, order more stuff, move on.

I should also add that I'm not looking for a serious relationship, so going out of my way to find her seems a bit disproportionate now that I think about it. Especially as it, I think, would send a wrong message. Maybe I'm overthinking again though, I still do that a lot...

Turn around roles.

Imagine a random girl that you saw for 20 seconds shows up at your workplace or asks a colleague about you. If you're past the point where you believe this is incredibly cute because it's the stuff made for movies, it's just creepy as hell.

You pretty much have two choices:
a) Go find someone else, if you're lucky you'll see that mail girl again eventually.
b) Order something so that it arrives at the same day a week later and chat her up this time. While technically still creepy you can either choose to not let her figure it out or throw it out a bit later when you're already dating. If she doesn't deliver it, tough luck. Your next best option is to order something for every single day of the week until you meet her again!

I don't see how a mailperson one meets for 10 seconds could be so attracted to him (his raw animal magnetism presumably) that she bites her lip and is virtually undressing in front of his eyes. (the commercials say that all it takes is the right deodorant though).

Maybe he's just one sexy fucker. Even if he isn't and it was in his head it doesn't hurt to blurp out an "Oh. Wow. You're cute. Erhm. Sorry, I mean you're wearing a really nice uniform." or some similar crap like this. If she reacts positively there is no reason to not build something from there even though it's really, really rough to avoid flakes in situations like that unless you build them up over a longer timeframe.

In those scenarios I had the most success with just going with the good ol' "YOU again, what is it this time?" over a couple of times before asking for a number/setting up a date.

Mh, what's a flake in this context ?
Also, we have separate deliverer for packages and regular mails. Unlikely that I'll see her again that way.

In general even in situations like this where you barely know someone (<10 minutes) it's not hard to get the phone number if you do your stuff right. However it IS hard to build enough of a connection that she doesn't walk away with some kind of "Fuck, how could I give my number away like that?" and will just not answer calls afterwards.

Mh ok, that makes sense.
I guess to end that hypothetical situation where I was awake enough to react, and that she indeed was into me, one of the first thing that came to my mind was to tell her something along the line of "well you know where I live, I'd be pleased if we met outside of your job, come anytime." Not trying to put the form here, but you get the point. Maybe give her my number to make sure I'm home. How would that go ?
sunprince
Profile Joined January 2011
United States2258 Posts
June 20 2013 23:46 GMT
#4032
On June 20 2013 19:41 Broetchenholer wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 20 2013 19:37 zbedlam wrote:
On June 20 2013 18:41 Broetchenholer wrote:
On June 20 2013 17:05 B.I.G. wrote:
In out itself is a dick move. But don't feel sorry for her, feel sorry for her fiancee that she conveniently forgot to mention to me.


You made a mistake there, i think. Corrected it. You are welcome.

So, with all these alphamales around here, just a question how you would react.

I was with my roleplaying group yesterday, and here in Germany we had around 35 degrees. Unintentionally, i set on the opposide side of the table to our best looking gurl. She probably decided yesterday, that it was too hot to wear a top under her dress, and that dress was really loose. I realized after taking that seat that at every move she did, she basically could have been nude altogether. So i guess i turned into a tomato and tried my best to not just stare at her. She realized that pretty soon and the rest of the evening she did nothing but rearrange her dress :D

So, in the end, it was a liitle awkward... You with all your social skills, would you have found a way to get the awkwardness out of the room?

To clarify, she is not interested in me and i am not interested in her.


Tell her that she clearly needs more support and you would be more than happy to oblige?


I thought that line would be coming from sunprince or r.evo...:D


That would depend on what kind of existing interaction you have with her; unless you're already comfortable with that type of flirtatious joking around with each other, that line might make things more awkward because it's a little too forward.

In your position, I probably would have checked her out overtly when I first sat down across from her, told her that she doesn't need to worry about impressing anybody at an RPG session (perhaps with a cheeky wink/grin), and then proceeded with the session as if she was dressed normally. If she still spent the evening rearranging her dress, I'd hang a lampshade on it, something along the lines of "You're worrying too much, we're all friends here and it's no big deal," to hopefully break the tension.
sambo400
Profile Joined March 2011
United States378 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-06-21 00:11:56
June 21 2013 00:06 GMT
#4033
On June 21 2013 08:15 jrkirby wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 21 2013 07:53 sambo400 wrote:
So I asked a girl to go out on friday and she said yes. But she told me the next day she's like 3 weeks pregnant. I had no idea.

Thats a new one...


Give your time-traveling future self a high five and congratulations.

You either are literally her or you just happened to make the luckiest reverence imaginable. One of the first things we ever talked about was both loving the book Slaughterhouse 5

Its not mine btw, if I wasn't clear about that.

No she is not fat at all.
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14080 Posts
June 21 2013 00:51 GMT
#4034
On June 21 2013 08:24 Cynry wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 21 2013 06:16 r.Evo wrote:
On June 21 2013 04:12 Cynry wrote:
On June 20 2013 22:51 r.Evo wrote:
On June 20 2013 21:49 Grumbels wrote:
On June 20 2013 21:29 r.Evo wrote:
On June 20 2013 21:19 Cynry wrote:
Ok your story makes more sense now, didn't understood that at first.

About mine, the issue isn't that much what to do once contact is made, but rather how to come to this point. I know where she works, as there is only one postal office, but she delivers, she's not cashier as far as I know. So no guarantee to find her there, hence my question. One of my buddy suggested to go and ask a cashier some infos about her, not sure how I feel about that. But I don't see many options to begin with, either that, wait for who knows how long where she works, order more stuff, move on.

I should also add that I'm not looking for a serious relationship, so going out of my way to find her seems a bit disproportionate now that I think about it. Especially as it, I think, would send a wrong message. Maybe I'm overthinking again though, I still do that a lot...

Turn around roles.

Imagine a random girl that you saw for 20 seconds shows up at your workplace or asks a colleague about you. If you're past the point where you believe this is incredibly cute because it's the stuff made for movies, it's just creepy as hell.

You pretty much have two choices:
a) Go find someone else, if you're lucky you'll see that mail girl again eventually.
b) Order something so that it arrives at the same day a week later and chat her up this time. While technically still creepy you can either choose to not let her figure it out or throw it out a bit later when you're already dating. If she doesn't deliver it, tough luck. Your next best option is to order something for every single day of the week until you meet her again!

I don't see how a mailperson one meets for 10 seconds could be so attracted to him (his raw animal magnetism presumably) that she bites her lip and is virtually undressing in front of his eyes. (the commercials say that all it takes is the right deodorant though).

Maybe he's just one sexy fucker. Even if he isn't and it was in his head it doesn't hurt to blurp out an "Oh. Wow. You're cute. Erhm. Sorry, I mean you're wearing a really nice uniform." or some similar crap like this. If she reacts positively there is no reason to not build something from there even though it's really, really rough to avoid flakes in situations like that unless you build them up over a longer timeframe.

In those scenarios I had the most success with just going with the good ol' "YOU again, what is it this time?" over a couple of times before asking for a number/setting up a date.

Mh, what's a flake in this context ?
Also, we have separate deliverer for packages and regular mails. Unlikely that I'll see her again that way.

In general even in situations like this where you barely know someone (<10 minutes) it's not hard to get the phone number if you do your stuff right. However it IS hard to build enough of a connection that she doesn't walk away with some kind of "Fuck, how could I give my number away like that?" and will just not answer calls afterwards.

Mh ok, that makes sense.
I guess to end that hypothetical situation where I was awake enough to react, and that she indeed was into me, one of the first thing that came to my mind was to tell her something along the line of "well you know where I live, I'd be pleased if we met outside of your job, come anytime." Not trying to put the form here, but you get the point. Maybe give her my number to make sure I'm home. How would that go ?

Bad idea. What you're saying means you put the responsibility for a possible future meetup on her. You're expecting her to show up in some form if she wants to see you again.

Instead you want to be the person who wants to see her, you want to be the one who is completely fine with taking responsibility, which in this case means breaking the ice without being pushy or socially a dumbass. Having the balls to see something that you want and try to pursue it with a certain amount of fun attached is attractive enough in most cases already.

In practice for that scenario it can mean blurting out a "Wow, you're cute" / "Wow what do I have to do to always get my mail from you?" or similar stuff and check her reaction. If it's positive the hard part isn't getting her number but it's to connect enough with her in 5-10 minutes of small talk to make her answer the call after you get it. If it's negative, tough luck. I have a really hard time thinking of an indirect approach in that scenario.
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
jrkirby
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States1510 Posts
June 21 2013 00:56 GMT
#4035
On June 21 2013 09:06 sambo400 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 21 2013 08:15 jrkirby wrote:
On June 21 2013 07:53 sambo400 wrote:
So I asked a girl to go out on friday and she said yes. But she told me the next day she's like 3 weeks pregnant. I had no idea.

Thats a new one...


Give your time-traveling future self a high five and congratulations.

You either are literally her or you just happened to make the luckiest reference imaginable. One of the first things we ever talked about was both loving the book Slaughterhouse 5

Its not mine btw, if I wasn't clear about that.

No she is not fat at all.


I am her. I only going out with you because it IS your son, you time-traveling sexy beast.

+ Show Spoiler +
Just kidding. I just made a lucky joke.
Cynry
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
810 Posts
June 21 2013 01:44 GMT
#4036
On June 21 2013 09:51 r.Evo wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 21 2013 08:24 Cynry wrote:
On June 21 2013 06:16 r.Evo wrote:
On June 21 2013 04:12 Cynry wrote:
On June 20 2013 22:51 r.Evo wrote:
On June 20 2013 21:49 Grumbels wrote:
On June 20 2013 21:29 r.Evo wrote:
On June 20 2013 21:19 Cynry wrote:
Ok your story makes more sense now, didn't understood that at first.

About mine, the issue isn't that much what to do once contact is made, but rather how to come to this point. I know where she works, as there is only one postal office, but she delivers, she's not cashier as far as I know. So no guarantee to find her there, hence my question. One of my buddy suggested to go and ask a cashier some infos about her, not sure how I feel about that. But I don't see many options to begin with, either that, wait for who knows how long where she works, order more stuff, move on.

I should also add that I'm not looking for a serious relationship, so going out of my way to find her seems a bit disproportionate now that I think about it. Especially as it, I think, would send a wrong message. Maybe I'm overthinking again though, I still do that a lot...

Turn around roles.

Imagine a random girl that you saw for 20 seconds shows up at your workplace or asks a colleague about you. If you're past the point where you believe this is incredibly cute because it's the stuff made for movies, it's just creepy as hell.

You pretty much have two choices:
a) Go find someone else, if you're lucky you'll see that mail girl again eventually.
b) Order something so that it arrives at the same day a week later and chat her up this time. While technically still creepy you can either choose to not let her figure it out or throw it out a bit later when you're already dating. If she doesn't deliver it, tough luck. Your next best option is to order something for every single day of the week until you meet her again!

I don't see how a mailperson one meets for 10 seconds could be so attracted to him (his raw animal magnetism presumably) that she bites her lip and is virtually undressing in front of his eyes. (the commercials say that all it takes is the right deodorant though).

Maybe he's just one sexy fucker. Even if he isn't and it was in his head it doesn't hurt to blurp out an "Oh. Wow. You're cute. Erhm. Sorry, I mean you're wearing a really nice uniform." or some similar crap like this. If she reacts positively there is no reason to not build something from there even though it's really, really rough to avoid flakes in situations like that unless you build them up over a longer timeframe.

In those scenarios I had the most success with just going with the good ol' "YOU again, what is it this time?" over a couple of times before asking for a number/setting up a date.

Mh, what's a flake in this context ?
Also, we have separate deliverer for packages and regular mails. Unlikely that I'll see her again that way.

In general even in situations like this where you barely know someone (<10 minutes) it's not hard to get the phone number if you do your stuff right. However it IS hard to build enough of a connection that she doesn't walk away with some kind of "Fuck, how could I give my number away like that?" and will just not answer calls afterwards.

Mh ok, that makes sense.
I guess to end that hypothetical situation where I was awake enough to react, and that she indeed was into me, one of the first thing that came to my mind was to tell her something along the line of "well you know where I live, I'd be pleased if we met outside of your job, come anytime." Not trying to put the form here, but you get the point. Maybe give her my number to make sure I'm home. How would that go ?

Bad idea. What you're saying means you put the responsibility for a possible future meetup on her. You're expecting her to show up in some form if she wants to see you again.

Instead you want to be the person who wants to see her, you want to be the one who is completely fine with taking responsibility, which in this case means breaking the ice without being pushy or socially a dumbass. Having the balls to see something that you want and try to pursue it with a certain amount of fun attached is attractive enough in most cases already.

In practice for that scenario it can mean blurting out a "Wow, you're cute" / "Wow what do I have to do to always get my mail from you?" or similar stuff and check her reaction. If it's positive the hard part isn't getting her number but it's to connect enough with her in 5-10 minutes of small talk to make her answer the call after you get it. If it's negative, tough luck. I have a really hard time thinking of an indirect approach in that scenario.

Shit man, just realized that I'm wasting your time, I'm sorry. I don't want to figure it out on a forum (not that I could), I just want to play the game, and make my own mistakes. Already did a couple time, and it's all good laughs ^^
Guess it's just my brain that can't get over another missed opportunity and tries to live it again. Oh well...
Kenpachi
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States9908 Posts
June 21 2013 04:23 GMT
#4037
well it has been over a month and a half or so since I've been dating my current girlfriend and we really haven't done much. It's pretty much because she's busy all the time with some day consuming activity every day and then she has to be home at night cause she's still with her parents. I guess it could also be a nice thing cause we want to see each other more every passing day but if our schedule is difficult to pan out, what could we resort to?
Nada's body is South Korea's greatest weapon.
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
June 21 2013 04:27 GMT
#4038
How often do you actually see her? Or are you saying you haven't seen her irl for 1.5 month?
Kenpachi
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States9908 Posts
June 21 2013 04:29 GMT
#4039
On June 21 2013 13:27 B.I.G. wrote:
How often do you actually see her? Or are you saying you haven't seen her irl for 1.5 month?

until last week we saw each other every day for a brief moment of time cause we go to the same school but its break and she's graduating (tomorrow actually!). She has a job and does other stuff now so we saw each other once in the last two weeks.
Nada's body is South Korea's greatest weapon.
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17921 Posts
June 21 2013 04:30 GMT
#4040
On June 21 2013 07:53 sambo400 wrote:
So I asked a girl to go out on friday and she said yes. But she told me the next day she's like 3 weeks pregnant. I had no idea.

Thats a new one...

that means u got 37 weeks to pound that shit without risk
do it my son
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
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