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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On June 24 2013 20:11 REDBLUEGREEN wrote:
Dammit, this friday was crazy.
So there is this one girl A who started hanging out in our clique a few months ago. Maybe two months ago I notice that she is kind of into me. I wasn't sure at first how I felt towards her but I figured I am not really feeling attracted by her a little later. She started texting me a lot, like good morning texts and shit like that. I always replied because I like her quite a bit but just as a friend, I never really gave her any signals coming from me that I'm into her but she just didn't realize I guess.
This friday was one of my friends birthday parties and I figured it's maybe time to ask her and tell her I don't see her as more than a friend.
Was fucking hard man, I never had to turn anybody down like that before. Getting turned down and turning someone down both kind of suck -.-
Anyway, she drove home and the rest of us went to a club and girl B shows up.
Girl B is the ex gf of the guy who's birthday it was, although that was quite a few years ago already, and we basically had no contact since then.
I randomly bumped into her a few weeks ago in a club and she seemed to like me a bit.
Turns out I was right, she got me really wasted, bought me like 10 drinks lol. At one point the group kind of scattered to different clubs because there was some drama over girl C or something, I don't know was too wasted by then, and me and girl B decide to grab some food. Afterwards she wanted to go home and I decided to leave as well. In the taxi she asked me if I wanted to come on in to her place and watch a movie. Of course I knew this was kind of a codeword meaning "do you want to pretend to watch a movie and make out/fuck"
I followed her and of course we ended up making out, no sex though.
At the end of the night I felt kinda like a player and horrible person at the same time -_-
Not sure how to continue with girl B. I like her quite a bit but it is still kind of holding me back that she is the ex of one of my buddies, even though like I said that has been quite some years ago.
- don't feel bad about girl A. You did the right thing, even though it should always be hard to deny someone their love.
- for girl B, sort your feelings. What is really holding you back? Is it that she is the ex of your buddy, and you are not sure if she still "belongs" to him? Is it that there is a reason she broke up with your buddy, and the same fate might strike you? Is it that you do not really want a relationship with her, but because she is a nice girl and filled you up you went with her? Or is it just that you feeling bad for girl A confused your way with girl B? Depending on which one it is, take action. If you really feel like the only thing making you feel bad is that she is the ex of your buddy, talk to him. Ask him about his opinion on her, tell him she approached you, you liked her, nothing serious happened yet and that you want to know if he would be OK with you going out with her. If it is any of the other, tell the girl. But make sure it is not just because you feel bad about girl A, you deserve to be happy even when you had to turn down a sweet girl.
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Ahahahahahaa, this onlinedating thing is a constant source of amusement for me. I just created a female account, aswered the questions of that site thruthfully again up to the point where i had a working account again, and then checked the results i got. Not surprsingly, my own account showed up highest. I should really date myself i guess. Also, there were 25 profiles with better matching points compared to the best matching female i have on my real account. The best matching (myself) had 120 points on a scale of 60 - 140 from all entries in Baden Würrtemberg. So, i guess you can dedicate 2 things from all of this. First, i should become gay. Second, gender stereotypes are op in matchmaking algorithms (the site tells me my female side is very strong, which limits my matchmaking blablabla!). Or you could be really mean and dedicate, that there are 30 times the number of active males on these sites compared to women.
Edit1: There are 760 man above the average value of 100. Girls...119. Tehehehehe.
Edit2: Ahahaha, i am so stupid, changed back to my normal account, oh, there is a new proposed profile with 121 match points, omg, gotta check that out.
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It turns out that the pregnant girl is actually just a sociopathic self harming pathological liar. Oh well.
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On June 29 2013 11:09 sambo400 wrote:
It turns out that the pregnant girl is actually just a sociopathic self harming pathological liar. Oh well.
Oh wow, who whould have guessed :-D
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Pretty complicated right now. I have been together with a girl for about six months but two weeks ago we decided to split. She is going to study in another country for a year and I felt it was mutual when we agreed that our relationship wouldn't live through that. However I was wrong. Turns out there are apparently different ways to break up. She says she doesn't want to lose me and still wants to see me beacuse she's afraid I will dissapear, but thats not what I want, I just want to move on and live my life without having to talk to my ex and pretend I'm her friend. Beacuse seeing her and talking to her knowing we are no longer in a relationship makes me sad and I can't live like that.
So yesterday we got into a pretty big fight after not talking for a few days. She basically said I was selfish and only cared about myself in this, I replied that I can't pretend to want to be with her just so she can feel better. I was at a nightclub when all this happened and I noticed how much I had missed being single, it made me doubt our whole relationship and if I really loved her or not. Pretty sure I don't love her now. I walked away from the club with a few numbers from girls i met there and felt like shit going home. I just want it to end but it's so friggin hard telling her how I really feel.
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I always have some laughs reading this thread, don't make things too complicated guys - just tell things straight you don't have enough time in your life to play games.
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On June 29 2013 18:25 Cynry wrote:Show nested quote +On June 29 2013 11:09 sambo400 wrote:
It turns out that the pregnant girl is actually just a sociopathic self harming pathological liar. Oh well. Oh wow, who whould have guessed :-D
Teach me to give people the benefit of the doubt I suppose...
I actually had no idea people would do such crazy things so I guess its good experience going forward.
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On June 29 2013 23:32 sambo400 wrote:Show nested quote +On June 29 2013 18:25 Cynry wrote:On June 29 2013 11:09 sambo400 wrote:
It turns out that the pregnant girl is actually just a sociopathic self harming pathological liar. Oh well. Oh wow, who whould have guessed :-D Teach me to give people the benefit of the doubt I suppose... I actually had no idea people would do such crazy things so I guess its good experience going forward.
I get that about giving people too much credit. But didn't your spider senses went wild when she mentionned a 3 weeks pregnency ? I mean, be it true or false I don't know how you could salvage that into someone with a healthy mind...
But yeah, live and learn...
Edit : fantazmoes, someone there are no way out without someone getting his feelings hurt. Trying to be compassionate about how you formulate it is the best you can do I think.
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On June 29 2013 23:32 sambo400 wrote:Show nested quote +On June 29 2013 18:25 Cynry wrote:On June 29 2013 11:09 sambo400 wrote:
It turns out that the pregnant girl is actually just a sociopathic self harming pathological liar. Oh well. Oh wow, who whould have guessed :-D Teach me to give people the benefit of the doubt I suppose... I actually had no idea people would do such crazy things so I guess its good experience going forward.
so she is not pregnant at all?
Did she lie because she likes to sabotage herself?
Or because she likes trolling people?
When you say self harming, does that include physical harming?
I'm just curious, because she was apparently hot enough for you to go out with her on a date even though she told you she was pregnant.
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Hello,
I want to share a story.
Last night I slept with the girl I've been seeing for a month now. She's my first real girlfriend.
Here is the thing : I wasn't able to be hard enough to close the deal. We stayed on bed until 1PM... I feel so frustrated right now -_-
I asked her gently if she could help me (with her mouth), she didn't want to.
Two things to consider :
- The week has been very tiring for me
- There were a lot of kissing/petting. I was hard sometimes, but not "full on" (probably because of fatigue).
Any advices for next time ?
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On June 29 2013 23:49 Cirqueenflex wrote:Show nested quote +On June 29 2013 23:32 sambo400 wrote:On June 29 2013 18:25 Cynry wrote:On June 29 2013 11:09 sambo400 wrote:
It turns out that the pregnant girl is actually just a sociopathic self harming pathological liar. Oh well. Oh wow, who whould have guessed :-D Teach me to give people the benefit of the doubt I suppose... I actually had no idea people would do such crazy things so I guess its good experience going forward. so she is not pregnant at all? Did she lie because she likes to sabotage herself? Or because she likes trolling people? When you say self harming, does that include physical harming? I'm just curious, because she was apparently hot enough for you to go out with her on a date even though she told you she was pregnant.
When I asked she hadn't told me yet. I told her it was fine if she didn't want to but she wanted to. Yes she actually hurt herself. She just needed attention and was trying to get some other guy back. I'm over it now but I was pretty pissed for a day or two.
She had a "miscarriage" that nobody believes. So it goes.
Hey, guy above me. http://ionenewsone.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/viagra1.jpg
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[QUOTE]On June 29 2013 23:44 Cynry wrote:
[QUOTE]On June 29 2013 23:32 sambo400 wrote:
[QUOTE]On June 29 2013 18:25 Cynry wrote:
[QUOTE]On June 29 2013 11:09 sambo400 wrote:
It turns out that the pregnant girl is actually just a sociopathic self harming pathological liar. Oh well. [/QUOTE]
Oh wow, who whould have guessed :-D[/QUOTE]
Teach me to give people the benefit of the doubt I suppose...
Edit : fantazmoes, someone there are no way out without someone getting his feelings hurt. Trying to be compassionate about how you formulate it is the best you can do I think. [/QUOTE]
Yeah, I guess so. Very hard though when we obviously want different things and I don't want to hurt her. I guess clean break ups are more rare than you think. I'm gonna meet her tomorrow anyway to discuss things and I have a feeling that will be our last ever conversation.
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On June 30 2013 00:28 Ambre wrote:
Hello,
I want to share a story.
Last night I slept with the girl I've been seeing for a month now. She's my first real girlfriend.
Here is the thing : I wasn't able to be hard enough to close the deal. We stayed on bed until 1PM... I feel so frustrated right now -_-
I asked her gently if she could help me (with her mouth), she didn't want to.
Two things to consider :
- The week has been very tiring for me
- There were a lot of kissing/petting. I was hard sometimes, but not "full on" (probably because of fatigue).
Any advices for next time ?
Only time when something similar happened I was very tired as well. Also was my first time with this girl. The time after that, without being that much more rested, went much better. Except for that fucking condom that was as thick as a throwable plastic glass...
So advices : don't freak out, see how it goes next time, and buy quality condoms.
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On June 30 2013 00:28 Ambre wrote:
Hello,
I want to share a story.
Last night I slept with the girl I've been seeing for a month now. She's my first real girlfriend.
Here is the thing : I wasn't able to be hard enough to close the deal. We stayed on bed until 1PM... I feel so frustrated right now -_-
I asked her gently if she could help me (with her mouth), she didn't want to.
Two things to consider :
- The week has been very tiring for me
- There were a lot of kissing/petting. I was hard sometimes, but not "full on" (probably because of fatigue).
Any advices for next time ?
For me, now, the "she didn't want to" would be a red flag. I had this issue way too often for my taste when I was younger (15-20 or so) and it somewhat stuck around until I ran into a girl whos reaction literally was to simply be honest. Aka disappointed, still horny as hell for me and then pointing out that you don't need a rock hard cock to make your partner happy. When I tried to bring up the topic later trying to justify myself what I got was among the lines of "Shush, don't worry about it, we'll finish that part later" which we proceeded to do so the next morning.
Ever since that event it became rather rare for me and when it happens I can shrug it off rather easily. The difference for me was that with previous girls one side started to allocate blame. Either I was being a gigantic wussy among the lines of "Wow, sorry, I was tired this whole week blabla" or the girl made it a big topic in terms of "Do you actually want to sleep with me?" - both of those versions suck.
It's not a big deal. It doesn't change the fact that both parties involved got far enough to acknowledge that they... fucking want to fuck each other. It doesn't mean that you're not attracted to each other. Just because one day your car doesn't start up in the morning it doesn't mean that it hates you and it doesn't mean you suck at driving it.
Don't give it more weight than it has.
tl;dr: Can't get it rock hard enough? You still have two hands, a mouth and your horny as hell brain. Use them, enjoy making the other person happy and then cuddle each other to sleep if that's your thing. Your wiener will do its job much better when you're not busy yelling at him.
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On June 30 2013 00:30 sambo400 wrote:Show nested quote +On June 29 2013 23:49 Cirqueenflex wrote:On June 29 2013 23:32 sambo400 wrote:On June 29 2013 18:25 Cynry wrote:On June 29 2013 11:09 sambo400 wrote:
It turns out that the pregnant girl is actually just a sociopathic self harming pathological liar. Oh well. Oh wow, who whould have guessed :-D Teach me to give people the benefit of the doubt I suppose... I actually had no idea people would do such crazy things so I guess its good experience going forward. so she is not pregnant at all? Did she lie because she likes to sabotage herself? Or because she likes trolling people? When you say self harming, does that include physical harming? I'm just curious, because she was apparently hot enough for you to go out with her on a date even though she told you she was pregnant. When I asked she hadn't told me yet. I told her it was fine if she didn't want to but she wanted to. Yes she actually hurt herself. She just needed attention and was trying to get some other guy back. I'm over it now but I was pretty pissed for a day or two. She had a "miscarriage" that nobody believes. So it goes. Hey, guy above me. http://ionenewsone.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/viagra1.jpg
Wow. Your a jerk. The guy above you was just nervous and you ridicule him? What happened to him is natural and happens about 30% of the time to guys on their first time. Good luck with your ridiculous girl problems. I feel no sympathy for you anymore. Your' insensitive and ignorant ass probably deserves some redneck pregger.
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On June 30 2013 00:43 Cynry wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2013 00:28 Ambre wrote:
Hello,
I want to share a story.
Last night I slept with the girl I've been seeing for a month now. She's my first real girlfriend.
Here is the thing : I wasn't able to be hard enough to close the deal. We stayed on bed until 1PM... I feel so frustrated right now -_-
I asked her gently if she could help me (with her mouth), she didn't want to.
Two things to consider :
- The week has been very tiring for me
- There were a lot of kissing/petting. I was hard sometimes, but not "full on" (probably because of fatigue).
Any advices for next time ? Only time when something similar happened I was very tired as well. Also was my first time with this girl. The time after that, without being that much more rested, went much better. Except for that fucking condom that was as thick as a throwable plastic glass... So advices : don't freak out, see how it goes next time, and buy quality condoms.
You'll be fine from now man. It wasn't the condoms or anything. Just something similar to "stage fright". Almost a common thing for guys and their first time.
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Thx all for your comments. I really appreciate it !
Gl hf everybody
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On June 30 2013 02:02 willoc wrote:Show nested quote +On June 30 2013 00:43 Cynry wrote:On June 30 2013 00:28 Ambre wrote:
Hello,
I want to share a story.
Last night I slept with the girl I've been seeing for a month now. She's my first real girlfriend.
Here is the thing : I wasn't able to be hard enough to close the deal. We stayed on bed until 1PM... I feel so frustrated right now -_-
I asked her gently if she could help me (with her mouth), she didn't want to.
Two things to consider :
- The week has been very tiring for me
- There were a lot of kissing/petting. I was hard sometimes, but not "full on" (probably because of fatigue).
Any advices for next time ? Only time when something similar happened I was very tired as well. Also was my first time with this girl. The time after that, without being that much more rested, went much better. Except for that fucking condom that was as thick as a throwable plastic glass... So advices : don't freak out, see how it goes next time, and buy quality condoms. You'll be fine from now man. It wasn't the condoms or anything. Just something similar to "stage fright". Almost a common thing for guys and their first time.
Think you misquoted. Or maybe not as you mention the condom. But I'm not the one worried, thank you :-)
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On June 24 2013 18:34 djfoxmccloud wrote:
Hello,
I'm freshly single (3 weeks by now), my girlfriend left me after more than 3.5 years, almost 3 living together, because she figured that she doesn't love me anymore...
I am at the point where I don't want to feel alone even if I know I am not ready for a relationship or just "one day things" because that is not part of who I am. I am stil *in love*, but I feel the need to be appreciated by a girl that is not a friend etc..
As my longterm relationship exploded to my face without warnings, I've lost quite a bit of self esteem and confidence in myself.
It might sound selfish and stupid, but it would also be somekind of *revenge* to stick to her face the fact that I can find someone else before her.
Since the break up, I've forced myself to go out with friends, I have been doing much more exercise than I used to be, I'm not ugly,I'm friendly etc.
I know that after such a long relationship it will be hard to recover.
My friends paid me one month on a dating website in order to "see if it goes somewhere". Maybe it will, maybe it won't.
I think going out with friends + this website might be a good start to meet new people/girls but maybe some of you could share some thoughts on similar situation ?
Is it selfish of me to want someone to help me forget her even if I don't end up having a serious relationship ?
It's not selfish to not want a serious relationship. At least, not selfish in a bad way. What would be selfish in a bad way is to pretend to want a serious relationship, make someone fall in love with you, and then dump them once your dick is satisfied. So don't do that. But short time flings are definitely a thing, especially now in the summer. So in a way your girlfriend couldn't have picked a better time to break up with you (yes, I know it still sucks and all that). Find a girl at the beach or club or whatever and have fun while the weather is still warm and the skirts are still short.
Dating websites that charge money are usually chock full of people who want to find true love. I wouldn't be surprised if you have a hard time finding what you're looking for there. But hey, since the account is already paid for, knock yourself out.
On June 29 2013 21:30 Nerchio wrote:
I always have some laughs reading this thread, don't make things too complicated guys - just tell things straight you don't have enough time in your life to play games.
Says the professional gamer!
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On June 30 2013 00:28 Ambre wrote:
Hello,
I want to share a story.
Last night I slept with the girl I've been seeing for a month now. She's my first real girlfriend.
Here is the thing : I wasn't able to be hard enough to close the deal. We stayed on bed until 1PM... I feel so frustrated right now -_-
I asked her gently if she could help me (with her mouth), she didn't want to.
Two things to consider :
- The week has been very tiring for me
- There were a lot of kissing/petting. I was hard sometimes, but not "full on" (probably because of fatigue).
Any advices for next time ?
Don't worry! Sex fan get stressful. And the more you yell at your dick to work the more stresses you get.
O and if you're going to ask for a blow job it usually helps if you went down on her first; you don't need your dick to be hard to please a woman. Your mouth is always available.
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EPT
