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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
Grumbels
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Netherlands7032 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-13 20:18:07
June 19 2013 23:30 GMT
#3981
How old are you? My brother had an online girlfriend when he was 15, they would exchange photos, dwell on how much they cared for each other, try to come up with cuddly nicknames and so on. One side always gets bored with the arrangement and breaks off contact..
Well, now I tell you, I never seen good come o' goodness yet. Him as strikes first is my fancy; dead men don't bite; them's my views--amen, so be it.
NervO
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
Netherlands511 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-06-19 23:41:09
June 19 2013 23:37 GMT
#3982
On June 20 2013 08:30 Grumbels wrote:
How old are you? My brother had an online girlfriend when he was 15, they would exchange photos, dwell on how much they cared for each other, try to come up with cuddly nicknames and so on. One side always gets bored with the arrangement and breaks of contact..

I'm almost 17 but I also met her in real life ... It wasn't like a Internet gf for the sake of having one, if I want one I wouldn't search online but we just fit well... It's not even that I find it weird she breaks up rather the way she did, and I guess I ment sexual but tired me :p like even if she got bored after those hours of talking and even having seen each other real life I don't get why you can't just say something but I guess I'm a bit overreacting and learning some valuable live lessons ^^
Currently working with Team Acer CSGO | @AcerNervO
Zooper31
Profile Joined May 2009
United States5713 Posts
June 19 2013 23:42 GMT
#3983
On June 20 2013 08:10 r.Evo wrote:
You were not in a relationship with her.


That's what I'd have to agree with too.
Asato ma sad gamaya, tamaso ma jyotir gamaya, mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
NervO
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
Netherlands511 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-06-20 00:03:03
June 20 2013 00:02 GMT
#3984
On June 20 2013 08:42 Zooper31 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 20 2013 08:10 r.Evo wrote:
You were not in a relationship with her.


That's what I'd have to agree with too.

I first thought like yeah sure after reading this... But actually I get the light.. Probably a really valuable lesson
Currently working with Team Acer CSGO | @AcerNervO
Shiori
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
3815 Posts
June 20 2013 00:14 GMT
#3985
It wasn't the same as an in-person relationship is what is meant. We're not denying your feelings were real, because obviously they were. But you'll gain perspective on this as you age
NervO
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
Netherlands511 Posts
June 20 2013 00:25 GMT
#3986
On June 20 2013 09:14 Shiori wrote:
It wasn't the same as an in-person relationship is what is meant. We're not denying your feelings were real, because obviously they were. But you'll gain perspective on this as you age

Yeah she actually unblocked me and explained the obvious we agreed on being friends like talking now and then and seeing what becomes of each other since we did have feelings ofc
Currently working with Team Acer CSGO | @AcerNervO
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
June 20 2013 06:02 GMT
#3987
Some time ago I was seeing a girl in a casual way. She was pushing for a relationship but I made it clear to her that that was not what I was looking for (with her). We only had been seeing eachother for like a month, and she left on about a 1 to 2 month holiday. During this time I met and started dating a girl I really did like, so by the time the other girl came back I had to find a way to make it clear things weren't gonna happen anymore.

Guess which option I went for? That's right. Ignoring. Nope, not proud of it.

In all honesty, I think that if people are in a "relationship" they don't really care about the easiest way out is the ignoring way. And yeah it sucks to be on the receiving end.
Pulselol
Profile Joined June 2011
Canada1628 Posts
June 20 2013 06:16 GMT
#3988
On June 20 2013 15:02 B.I.G. wrote:
That's right. Ignoring. Nope, not proud of it.


wow that's a huge bitch move there m8
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-06-20 08:06:04
June 20 2013 08:05 GMT
#3989
In of itself its a dick move. But don't feel sorry for her, feel sorry for her fiancee that she conveniently forgot to mention to me.
JoeCool
Profile Joined January 2012
Germany2520 Posts
June 20 2013 09:24 GMT
#3990
I´m still not sure what to do with "my" girl. We´ve had a great time - with ups and downs - for like six months, both of us made mistakes so we "broke up" for like two months (we weren´t a couple, but it was more than an affair). Because she kept texting me once a week and wrote an email where she confessed that she misses me (and more) I (we) thought it would be a good idea to give it a second chance.That was four weeks ago.
Now there hasn´t been a single date since then. I´ve seen her a few times at the university which was okay but not more than 5 mins. Once a week she says sth like "We should do sth. together...". I already asked her out some weeks ago, that did not happen since she had no time which was okay back then, and she knows that I want to see her but whenever there´s the slightest chance that the topic "private meeting" comes up I feel like she tries to ignore it or has no time.

For expamle,
Her: "Oh we absolutely should do sth together..."
Me: "Cool, make a suggestion"
Her: *changes topic*

or

Her: "When can I meet you at the university?"
Me: "Don´t know, monday or friday I guess"
Her: *No answer for two days*

On the other hand, when I do not report she does. It may take two or three days but she does. like last sunday. I know everyone is busy and has stuff to do but come on.
I´m somehow torn between confronting her with my doubts, or acting as if everything is allright.
Cynry
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
810 Posts
June 20 2013 09:37 GMT
#3991
From the conversations you wrote, I'd say try to "impose" something instead of "I don't know what do you think"
Like plan something for 2 weeks from now, when she likely won't have anything planned already, and see how it goes.
Broetchenholer
Profile Joined March 2011
Germany1967 Posts
June 20 2013 09:41 GMT
#3992
On June 20 2013 17:05 B.I.G. wrote:
In out itself is a dick move. But don't feel sorry for her, feel sorry for her fiancee that she conveniently forgot to mention to me.


You made a mistake there, i think. Corrected it. You are welcome.

So, with all these alphamales around here, just a question how you would react.

I was with my roleplaying group yesterday, and here in Germany we had around 35 degrees. Unintentionally, i set on the opposide side of the table to our best looking gurl. She probably decided yesterday, that it was too hot to wear a top under her dress, and that dress was really loose. I realized after taking that seat that at every move she did, she basically could have been nude altogether. So i guess i turned into a tomato and tried my best to not just stare at her. She realized that pretty soon and the rest of the evening she did nothing but rearrange her dress :D

So, in the end, it was a liitle awkward... You with all your social skills, would you have found a way to get the awkwardness out of the room?

To clarify, she is not interested in me and i am not interested in her.
shabby
Profile Joined March 2010
Norway6402 Posts
June 20 2013 09:54 GMT
#3993
If it was me I would just mention it in a humorous way. Ask how much weight she's lost since the dress is too big or say that it looks damn comfortable to basically be nude. As long as you do it with a smile laugh you can almost say anything.
Jaedong, Gumibear, Leenock, Byun
marvellosity
Profile Joined January 2011
United Kingdom36161 Posts
June 20 2013 09:55 GMT
#3994
On June 20 2013 18:54 shabby wrote:
If it was me I would just mention it in a humorous way. Ask how much weight she's lost since the dress is too big or say that it looks damn comfortable to basically be nude. As long as you do it with a smile laugh you can almost say anything.


lol yeah, I'd do something similar.
[15:15] <Palmar> and yes marv, you're a total hottie
Cynry
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
810 Posts
June 20 2013 09:58 GMT
#3995
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

...No clue :-D

I guess humor could have worked, but could have made her feel worse. Or try to look for a way to make her dress fits her better, like a pin or something (my english vocabulary lacks the thing I'm looking for... Epingle a nourrice for the french).

In the end, you're both in an awkward position, and you didn't try to take advantage of it, I'm sure she noticed that too.
marvellosity
Profile Joined January 2011
United Kingdom36161 Posts
June 20 2013 10:01 GMT
#3996
On June 20 2013 18:58 Cynry wrote:
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

...No clue :-D

I guess humor could have worked, but could have made her feel worse. Or try to look for a way to make her dress fits her better, like a pin or something (my english vocabulary lacks the thing I'm looking for... Epingle a nourrice for the french).

In the end, you're both in an awkward position, and you didn't try to take advantage of it, I'm sure she noticed that too.


This is the worst idea imaginable, well done
[15:15] <Palmar> and yes marv, you're a total hottie
Cynry
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
810 Posts
June 20 2013 10:03 GMT
#3997
Well you have to explain yourself then :-D
I figured she would have enjoyed to not have to refit her dress all the time knowing everyone could see her goods. Guess I'm missing something.
marvellosity
Profile Joined January 2011
United Kingdom36161 Posts
June 20 2013 10:07 GMT
#3998
On June 20 2013 19:03 Cynry wrote:
Well you have to explain yourself then :-D
I figured she would have enjoyed to not have to refit her dress all the time knowing everyone could see her goods. Guess I'm missing something.


So you're in a group situation across the other side of a table from some random girl.

In a potentially awkward situation already, you go find a pin and somehow suggest to her that her tits are flapping about and maybe she should do something about it with this random piece of stationery.

Thus managing to draw the attention of the entire table to this loose-fitting dress, now *everyone's* looking at her tits, and you've put her in the position where you've apparently made the judgement that she should have worn something different / dealt with the problem herself, while everyone watches on.

Yeah, no. ^^
[15:15] <Palmar> and yes marv, you're a total hottie
Cynry
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
810 Posts
June 20 2013 10:23 GMT
#3999
Haha, sure, if you put it that way ^^
In my "defence" (remember I started with no clue heh)
I assumed she knew that it showed too much already, seeing the dude accross the table going all red and stuff.
And I would definitely not just have shown up with the pin and start rearranging it myself infront of everyone while saying "there, now I can't see your tits !". I'm not sure there's a good way to do it though, you're probably right.
As for the "she should have weared something else or done it herself", and again, not in front of everyone, but yeah, she should have worn something else or taken care of it herself. Unless she's fine being uncomfortable and rearranging all night, what do I know ^^


Broetchenholer
Profile Joined March 2011
Germany1967 Posts
June 20 2013 10:33 GMT
#4000
I don't know guys, saying something funny to relieve the awkwardness might have led to anyone else realizing the problem as well. So, IF (that's a big if) you happen to have something that would fix her issue and quitly giving it to her might be a really nice thing. But it would have to be really ninja :D
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