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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On June 20 2013 19:33 Broetchenholer wrote:
I don't know guys, saying something funny to relieve the awkwardness might have led to anyone else realizing the problem as well. So, IF (that's a big if) you happen to have something that would fix her issue and quitly giving it to her might be a really nice thing. But it would have to be really ninja :D
THANK YOU
At the very least we're both wrong ^^
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On June 20 2013 18:41 Broetchenholer wrote:Show nested quote +On June 20 2013 17:05 B.I.G. wrote:
In out itself is a dick move. But don't feel sorry for her, feel sorry for her fiancee that she conveniently forgot to mention to me. You made a mistake there, i think. Corrected it. You are welcome. So, with all these alphamales around here, just a question how you would react. I was with my roleplaying group yesterday, and here in Germany we had around 35 degrees. Unintentionally, i set on the opposide side of the table to our best looking gurl. She probably decided yesterday, that it was too hot to wear a top under her dress, and that dress was really loose. I realized after taking that seat that at every move she did, she basically could have been nude altogether. So i guess i turned into a tomato and tried my best to not just stare at her. She realized that pretty soon and the rest of the evening she did nothing but rearrange her dress :D So, in the end, it was a liitle awkward... You with all your social skills, would you have found a way to get the awkwardness out of the room? To clarify, she is not interested in me and i am not interested in her.
Tell her that she clearly needs more support and you would be more than happy to oblige?
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Hehe. No, guys, it's a terrible idea to give her a pin. All you'd do is make her more uncomfortable. There is nothing she can really do to fix the dress, and if you're not already dating or something its not your place to try to fix what she's wearing imo. Say something funny or just remark it with a wink. Of course if theres a lot of other people you lean in and do it quietly so not to draw attention. It's all about making her feel comfortable. It is as awkward as you make it. And this is coming from an introvert that has trouble with reading signs.
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United Kingdom36161 Posts
On June 20 2013 19:33 Broetchenholer wrote:
I don't know guys, saying something funny to relieve the awkwardness might have led to anyone else realizing the problem as well. So, IF (that's a big if) you happen to have something that would fix her issue and quitly giving it to her might be a really nice thing. But it would have to be really ninja :D
I think you'll find it's near-impossible to ever do these things ninja, no matter how good your intentions 
If you're worried about other people hearing you, a couple of choice facial expressions + a smile can do the trick. If you can both smile about it then the problem's solved
edit: shabby knows where it's at
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On June 20 2013 19:37 zbedlam wrote:Show nested quote +On June 20 2013 18:41 Broetchenholer wrote:On June 20 2013 17:05 B.I.G. wrote:
In out itself is a dick move. But don't feel sorry for her, feel sorry for her fiancee that she conveniently forgot to mention to me. You made a mistake there, i think. Corrected it. You are welcome. So, with all these alphamales around here, just a question how you would react. I was with my roleplaying group yesterday, and here in Germany we had around 35 degrees. Unintentionally, i set on the opposide side of the table to our best looking gurl. She probably decided yesterday, that it was too hot to wear a top under her dress, and that dress was really loose. I realized after taking that seat that at every move she did, she basically could have been nude altogether. So i guess i turned into a tomato and tried my best to not just stare at her. She realized that pretty soon and the rest of the evening she did nothing but rearrange her dress :D So, in the end, it was a liitle awkward... You with all your social skills, would you have found a way to get the awkwardness out of the room? To clarify, she is not interested in me and i am not interested in her. Tell her that she clearly needs more support and you would be more than happy to oblige?
I thought that line would be coming from sunprince or r.evo...:D
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Edit : note to self, shut up and take note. I guess...
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I'm pretty proud atm. Been out of the game for a while for a few reasons, but then met a great girl in the squatrack (romantic eh?). Worked up the guts to find her on facebook and ask her out. Trained together and went out with her a few times, no alcohol involved, and then after like 10 signs even I understood, I finally dared to make a move and she was receptive. WE'RE ALL GONNA MAKE IT!
Just to add some positivity to the thread and brag a little.
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United Kingdom36161 Posts
On June 20 2013 19:52 shabby wrote:
I'm pretty proud atm. Been out of the game for a while for a few reasons, but then met a great girl in the squatrack (romantic eh?). Worked up the guts to find her on facebook and ask her out. Trained together and went out with her a few times, no alcohol involved, and then after like 10 signs even I understood, I finally dared to make a move and she was receptive. WE'RE ALL GONNA MAKE IT!
Just to add some positivity to the thread and brag a little.
That's awesome. I dunno about everyone else, but I like reading about how things worked out for other people ^_^
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I like reading results more than questions as well :D
As for naked girl you could've just stared at her while slowly starting to pant louder and louder while using a dirty rag to wipe the sweat off your forehead before it drips down to your food and sweat stained slightly to small tanktop.
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My dating luck isn't too good. I felt like this girl at some shared activity was interested in me, but then I disrupted the natural progression of our relationship by getting sick and after not seeing her for a bit I made the ill-advised move to try and take part in the activity to see her again, even though I was still sick and behaving like a zombie and would always have a pained disorienting look on my face. I sent her a sort of formal invitation to some event on facebook, but she phrased it as "not really having time", which I understood to be a rejection of sorts. And then I asked her if she was going to the activity this week (which was semi-canceled but allowed for 'free play') and she said she didn't feel like going, so I'm not sure if I'll see her again. It's annoying, since I felt like my decision making was influenced by my illness.
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See, another thing I don't get. How can one define the line between someone "stalking" and someone putting efforts to find infos and making contact again ?
Interested because there's this cute mailgirl that delivered a package a few days ago, bit her lips when she saw me, but I was just out of bed and it clicked too late in my head. I'd like to meet with her, but don't really know how.
I know where she works as it's a small town, but showing up here and waiting for her rhymes with weird and desperate in my book. But my book seems to be full of shit from the conversation about the loose dress, so.... Advice anyone ?
Still, shabby, I guess that's....not too shabby........ Good for you man !
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On June 20 2013 20:14 Grumbels wrote:
My dating luck isn't too good. I felt like this girl at some shared activity was interested in me, but then I disrupted the natural progression of our relationship by getting sick and after not seeing her for a bit I made the ill-advised move to try and take part in the activity to see her again, even though I was still sick and behaving like a zombie and would always have a pained disorienting look on my face. I sent her a sort of formal invitation to some event on facebook, but she phrased it as "not really having time", which I understood to be a rejection of sorts. And then I asked her if she was going to the activity this week (which was semi-canceled but allowed for 'free play') and she said she didn't feel like going, so I'm not sure if I'll see her again. It's annoying, since I felt like my decision making was influenced by my illness.
If you're not sure if you did your best or if she's just not into you, just ask her if she wants to get together/do something some time. You'll regret it a lot more if you aren't sure if its a rejection or not and you didn't try. Much better to get a definite "not interested" and move on imo.
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On June 20 2013 20:16 Cynry wrote:
See, another thing I don't get. How can one define the line between someone "stalking" and someone putting efforts to find infos and making contact again ?
Interested because there's this cute mailgirl that delivered a package a few days ago, bit her lips when she saw me, but I was just out of bed and it clicked too late in my head. I'd like to meet with her, but don't really know how.
I know where she works as it's a small town, but showing up here and waiting for her rhymes with weird and desperate in my book. But my book seems to be full of shit from the conversation about the loose dress, so.... Advice anyone ?
Still, shabby, I guess that's....not too shabby........ Good for you man !
Well we talked a good deal when we met in the gym. So I got her name and she told me the powerlifting club she was a member of. I don't know, it just felt like there was something there but I was too autistic to act there and then. So I found her and sent her a message on FB (didn't add as friend) and asked if she wanted to train together some time. Very safe move and easy for her to turn down.
I'd say go for it. Just show up and say she made an impression and you can't get her off your mind before you ask her out or something. I'm sure you've heard it a shitload of times, but the best line is usually just "hi" and then take it from there. Just do it in a light mannered and not pushy/stalky way if that tells you something. The easier you make it for her to turn it down without feeling like she's the bad guy the better it is. Give her outs, so when she bites you know she's interested.
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Ok your story makes more sense now, didn't understood that at first.
About mine, the issue isn't that much what to do once contact is made, but rather how to come to this point. I know where she works, as there is only one postal office, but she delivers, she's not cashier as far as I know. So no guarantee to find her there, hence my question. One of my buddy suggested to go and ask a cashier some infos about her, not sure how I feel about that. But I don't see many options to begin with, either that, wait for who knows how long where she works, order more stuff, move on.
I should also add that I'm not looking for a serious relationship, so going out of my way to find her seems a bit disproportionate now that I think about it. Especially as it, I think, would send a wrong message. Maybe I'm overthinking again though, I still do that a lot...
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If you're not looking for something serious it's not worth your time, tbh. Easier to go out and meet someone else.
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On June 20 2013 21:19 Cynry wrote:
Ok your story makes more sense now, didn't understood that at first.
About mine, the issue isn't that much what to do once contact is made, but rather how to come to this point. I know where she works, as there is only one postal office, but she delivers, she's not cashier as far as I know. So no guarantee to find her there, hence my question. One of my buddy suggested to go and ask a cashier some infos about her, not sure how I feel about that. But I don't see many options to begin with, either that, wait for who knows how long where she works, order more stuff, move on.
I should also add that I'm not looking for a serious relationship, so going out of my way to find her seems a bit disproportionate now that I think about it. Especially as it, I think, would send a wrong message. Maybe I'm overthinking again though, I still do that a lot...
Turn around roles.
Imagine a random girl that you saw for 20 seconds shows up at your workplace or asks a colleague about you. If you're past the point where you believe this is incredibly cute because it's the stuff made for movies, it's just creepy as hell.
You pretty much have two choices:
a) Go find someone else, if you're lucky you'll see that mail girl again eventually.
b) Order something so that it arrives at the same day a week later and chat her up this time. While technically still creepy you can either choose to not let her figure it out or throw it out a bit later when you're already dating. If she doesn't deliver it, tough luck. Your next best option is to order something for every single day of the week until you meet her again!
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Yeah ok should have trusted my guts on this one then. A nice opportunity, but a missed one. Thanks !
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On June 20 2013 21:29 r.Evo wrote:Show nested quote +On June 20 2013 21:19 Cynry wrote:
Ok your story makes more sense now, didn't understood that at first.
About mine, the issue isn't that much what to do once contact is made, but rather how to come to this point. I know where she works, as there is only one postal office, but she delivers, she's not cashier as far as I know. So no guarantee to find her there, hence my question. One of my buddy suggested to go and ask a cashier some infos about her, not sure how I feel about that. But I don't see many options to begin with, either that, wait for who knows how long where she works, order more stuff, move on.
I should also add that I'm not looking for a serious relationship, so going out of my way to find her seems a bit disproportionate now that I think about it. Especially as it, I think, would send a wrong message. Maybe I'm overthinking again though, I still do that a lot... Turn around roles. Imagine a random girl that you saw for 20 seconds shows up at your workplace or asks a colleague about you. If you're past the point where you believe this is incredibly cute because it's the stuff made for movies, it's just creepy as hell. You pretty much have two choices: a) Go find someone else, if you're lucky you'll see that mail girl again eventually. b) Order something so that it arrives at the same day a week later and chat her up this time. While technically still creepy you can either choose to not let her figure it out or throw it out a bit later when you're already dating. If she doesn't deliver it, tough luck. Your next best option is to order something for every single day of the week until you meet her again!
I don't see how a mailperson one meets for 10 seconds could be so attracted to him (his raw animal magnetism presumably) that she bites her lip and is virtually undressing in front of his eyes. (the commercials say that all it takes is the right deodorant though).
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On June 20 2013 21:49 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On June 20 2013 21:29 r.Evo wrote:On June 20 2013 21:19 Cynry wrote:
Ok your story makes more sense now, didn't understood that at first.
About mine, the issue isn't that much what to do once contact is made, but rather how to come to this point. I know where she works, as there is only one postal office, but she delivers, she's not cashier as far as I know. So no guarantee to find her there, hence my question. One of my buddy suggested to go and ask a cashier some infos about her, not sure how I feel about that. But I don't see many options to begin with, either that, wait for who knows how long where she works, order more stuff, move on.
I should also add that I'm not looking for a serious relationship, so going out of my way to find her seems a bit disproportionate now that I think about it. Especially as it, I think, would send a wrong message. Maybe I'm overthinking again though, I still do that a lot... Turn around roles. Imagine a random girl that you saw for 20 seconds shows up at your workplace or asks a colleague about you. If you're past the point where you believe this is incredibly cute because it's the stuff made for movies, it's just creepy as hell. You pretty much have two choices: a) Go find someone else, if you're lucky you'll see that mail girl again eventually. b) Order something so that it arrives at the same day a week later and chat her up this time. While technically still creepy you can either choose to not let her figure it out or throw it out a bit later when you're already dating. If she doesn't deliver it, tough luck. Your next best option is to order something for every single day of the week until you meet her again! I don't see how a mailperson one meets for 10 seconds could be so attracted to him (his raw animal magnetism presumably) that she bites her lip and is virtually undressing in front of his eyes. (the commercials say that all it takes is the right deodorant though).
Lol this is too funny. I just opened the door to this cute red-head mail girl. She knows me by now and always smiles at me nicely.
I am not going to try anything, just funny coincidence that when I was still thinking of her I click on this thread and the first thing I read is this.
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EPT
