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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
Mikau
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Netherlands1446 Posts
May 26 2013 10:56 GMT
#3321
Lol, am I getting homework now? xD

We're still on for tonight, "yeah cya tonight, I just didn't know that's what your intentions were". Not going to watch Indiana Jones though, got enough Electrodynamics to study to take time off for movies .
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14081 Posts
May 26 2013 10:59 GMT
#3322
"Oh wtf he DOES want to date me, okay... let's see where this goes."

It's on, but not with a lot of leeway. She's gonna try and figure out how much is behind that sudden presence of balls. No red roses or presents plz.

glgl
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
Mikau
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Netherlands1446 Posts
May 26 2013 11:06 GMT
#3323
Is that even the norm on "first dates"? Would explain my lack of success so far

No pressure, just going to have fun tonight. Am going to have to step out of my comfort zone a bit to be a bit more flirty touchy than I usually am, but I have to learn some time .
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
May 26 2013 11:11 GMT
#3324
Norm on first dates is getting some alcohol in the both of you to smoothen things up
Mikau
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Netherlands1446 Posts
May 26 2013 16:01 GMT
#3325
On May 26 2013 20:11 B.I.G. wrote:
Norm on first dates is getting some alcohol in the both of you to smoothen things up

Hear hear!
Marathi
Profile Joined July 2011
298 Posts
May 26 2013 16:10 GMT
#3326
I know this question has probably been asked in abundance, but where do you guys go to meet geeky/similarly minded girls?

Is it just all online dating?
eSports tees designed by me - http://tinyurl.com/bqmexd9
Dullahan
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States248 Posts
May 26 2013 16:16 GMT
#3327
On May 27 2013 01:01 Mikau wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 26 2013 20:11 B.I.G. wrote:
Norm on first dates is getting some alcohol in the both of you to smoothen things up

Hear hear!


So what's the norm if you don't drink?
Rhino85
Profile Joined February 2011
United States90 Posts
May 26 2013 20:19 GMT
#3328
So after a really long dry spell (over 6 months with out sex) my friend showed me a new app on my iPhone. Its called Tinder, it uses Facebook to upload pictures to your profile. The main page is a photo of the opposite sex (or same sex if you change the settings) and it has a "like" or "nope" button. You can have up to 5 photos on it. The app also uses gps location to narrow your results down to however many miles away you want to search. It also shows you if you have mutual friends on facebook as well as mutual interests. Its completely anonymous and you only know if the girl/guy "likes" you back if you both hit the "like" button on each others profile. If you get a match it opens up a text messaging channel. With so many people on it and being able to like or pass on numerous people in a short time I view it as the speed dating of online dating.

Last night I broke my dry spell after a few hours of a girl "liking" me back. It could be the greatest app ever for the single and looking crowd. Hope this helps!
The object of war is not to die for your country but make the other bastard die for his.
Ghostcom
Profile Joined March 2010
Denmark4783 Posts
May 26 2013 21:05 GMT
#3329
On May 27 2013 01:16 Dullahan wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 27 2013 01:01 Mikau wrote:
On May 26 2013 20:11 B.I.G. wrote:
Norm on first dates is getting some alcohol in the both of you to smoothen things up

Hear hear!


So what's the norm if you don't drink?


You refrain from being awkward as fuck and realize why you are dating - to figure out if the two of you have a future, and that it is not the end of the world if you do not. You both did pretty well as single before meeting up for the first date, should the date not work out - odds are that you will both continue to do pretty well after.
tuho12345
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
4482 Posts
May 26 2013 21:13 GMT
#3330
what do you talk to a girl, i mean just random conversion with a girl that you've known for a bit, kinda like customer and cashier. Fuck I'm too dumb to think of something to say.
sunprince
Profile Joined January 2011
United States2258 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-26 22:22:24
May 26 2013 22:20 GMT
#3331
On May 26 2013 05:52 boxturtle wrote:
Show nested quote +
That's just the way it is. The economics of supply and demand apply to sex just as much as finance; male demand for women is substantially higher than female demand for men, so the "price" for women is higher.

If you want women to offer more, than you either need to increase your own value and/or demand a fair price for your value.


That sounds really weird. Apart from that, there are more mildly success women than men. The supply should decrease the overall value. Well, there are in America, where women are actually more likely to do well in college than men at average education levels.

I don't know about the "all that's expected of women is to be physically attractive" part either. I think that is the supply and demand reality that you're looking at. There is a lot more demand for an average looking guy with average social skills with a successful career than there is for an average looking woman with average social skills with a successful career. The supply for females with successful careers might even be higher (I'm talking about being able to afford a decent car and pay for a home by yourself, not be a CEO).

I'm pretty sure the women with exceptional qualities are out there, there just aren't many in bars where the only criterion people approach them for are their looks.


There is a fundamental error with this line of reasoning: you assume that women's value is measured the same way as men's. Unlike with men, a woman's career success is not a primary variable in determining her sexual marketplace value. Simply put, while women are primarily attracted to a man's social status (of which career success is a major component), men are primarily attracted to women's physical appearance. On top of that, studies consistently show that most women will not date below themselves in terms of socioeconomic status, which means that the trend of women outpacing men in educational/career achievements results in lower supply for most men, increased numbers of unhappily single successful women, and only a higher supply for the few men at the apex of society.

We also live in a time when there are more overweight/obese (the easiest way for a person to drastically lower their physical attractiveness) women than ever. In a world where over two-thirds of women are overweight, attractive women are in short supply. Consequently, remotely attractive or even average women command a disproportionately high price and are therefore less incentivized to bring more than just their vaginas to the dating table.

You're right that there are women with exceptional qualities out there. However, the point is that due to the economics of supply and demand, the price for women in general is currently inflated so that if you want an exceptional woman, you had better be a ridiculously exceptional man.
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
May 27 2013 01:13 GMT
#3332
On May 27 2013 06:13 tuho12345 wrote:
what do you talk to a girl, i mean just random conversion with a girl that you've known for a bit, kinda like customer and cashier. Fuck I'm too dumb to think of something to say.

-How are you doing today
-did you do anything fun this weekend (on Mondays)
-did you see/hear about event X (news/sports or something)
-weather
-etc etc
xicoo
Profile Joined June 2009
Portugal55 Posts
May 27 2013 01:23 GMT
#3333
weather?
Don´t talk about the weather man..
ignorance is bliss!
Ireniicas
Profile Joined April 2013
66 Posts
May 27 2013 01:23 GMT
#3334
Married so ummm GG
heroyi
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
United States1064 Posts
May 27 2013 01:40 GMT
#3335
On May 27 2013 10:23 xicoo wrote:
weather?
Don´t talk about the weather man..

Seriously.

Don't talk about things that limit the scope of the conversation. Asking about the weather can only net so many different responses. You want something broad but can be specific (how was weekend?). Sounds cliche but the reason why this works is because you are asking about her day and, if she isnt boring, will give you a legitimate response of which should allow you to follow up:
G: Oh, I had to help my grandma do some garden work.
You: Oh what does she grow? (or whatever question, story/anecdote of your choosing)

essentially just avoid anything that limits the conversation (if asking about weather):
You: hows the weather
Girl: its nice
---end of transmission--

^^how the hell do you follow up to that? Answer: you dont
wat wat in my pants
Zooper31
Profile Joined May 2009
United States5713 Posts
May 27 2013 01:43 GMT
#3336
On May 27 2013 10:40 heroyi wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 27 2013 10:23 xicoo wrote:
weather?
Don´t talk about the weather man..

Seriously.

Don't talk about things that limit the scope of the conversation. Asking about the weather can only net so many different responses. You want something broad but can be specific (how was weekend?). Sounds cliche but the reason why this works is because you are asking about her day and, if she isnt boring, will give you a legitimate response of which should allow you to follow up:
G: Oh, I had to help my grandma do some garden work.
You: Oh what does she grow? (or whatever question, story/anecdote of your choosing)

essentially just avoid anything that limits the conversation (if asking about weather):
You: hows the weather
Girl: its nice
---end of transmission--

^^how the hell do you follow up to that? Answer: you dont


Talk about how you have a grudge against snow and hate it or how about you been through several hurricanes and love lightning. Doesn't have to be about boring weather etc. Anything that keeps the conversation going and isn't silence is an ok topic imo.
Asato ma sad gamaya, tamaso ma jyotir gamaya, mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
sambo400
Profile Joined March 2011
United States378 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-27 01:48:36
May 27 2013 01:48 GMT
#3337
Say something personal or custom tailored to the person. I despise "How are you" type questions. Most people like it when you say something they didn't expect to hear.

For the "What if I don't drink" guy, just drink a little. One drink won't really do anything to you, and its way less awkward. This is coming from someone who drinks MAYBE once a month.
Zooper31
Profile Joined May 2009
United States5713 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-27 01:58:46
May 27 2013 01:58 GMT
#3338
On May 27 2013 10:48 sambo400 wrote:
Say something personal or custom tailored to the person. I despise "How are you" type questions. Most people like it when you say something they didn't expect to hear.

For the "What if I don't drink" guy, just drink a little. One drink won't really do anything to you, and its way less awkward. This is coming from someone who drinks MAYBE once a month.


PEER PRESURE!
Asato ma sad gamaya, tamaso ma jyotir gamaya, mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
sambo400
Profile Joined March 2011
United States378 Posts
May 27 2013 02:11 GMT
#3339
On May 27 2013 10:58 Zooper31 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 27 2013 10:48 sambo400 wrote:
Say something personal or custom tailored to the person. I despise "How are you" type questions. Most people like it when you say something they didn't expect to hear.

For the "What if I don't drink" guy, just drink a little. One drink won't really do anything to you, and its way less awkward. This is coming from someone who drinks MAYBE once a month.


PEER PRESURE!

I completely understand the cognitive dissidence about drinking for people like him and me. I've never found it difficult to stop after 1 or 2 drinks. When people try to pressure me into drinking when I don't want to, I just laugh at them.

If I do decide to drink in a social or date-like setting, I typically get something disgusting like gin and tonic. You could even let her try it and make a discussion about it tasting like a car air freshener.
Zooper31
Profile Joined May 2009
United States5713 Posts
May 27 2013 02:15 GMT
#3340
On May 27 2013 11:11 sambo400 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 27 2013 10:58 Zooper31 wrote:
On May 27 2013 10:48 sambo400 wrote:
Say something personal or custom tailored to the person. I despise "How are you" type questions. Most people like it when you say something they didn't expect to hear.

For the "What if I don't drink" guy, just drink a little. One drink won't really do anything to you, and its way less awkward. This is coming from someone who drinks MAYBE once a month.


PEER PRESURE!

I completely understand the cognitive dissidence about drinking for people like him and me. I've never found it difficult to stop after 1 or 2 drinks. When people try to pressure me into drinking when I don't want to, I just laugh at them.

If I do decide to drink in a social or date-like setting, I typically get something disgusting like gin and tonic. You could even let her try it and make a discussion about it tasting like a car air freshener.


So you've tasted a car air freshener? Lol I drink a little, only when I'm with friends though and not alot, usually just a bit tipsy at the most.
Asato ma sad gamaya, tamaso ma jyotir gamaya, mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
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