EPTTBH I'm not super good looking guy or anything, but I've never not gotten a second date, and that's solely because they always say I'm "different", aka I don't just take them to a lame classy restaurant and talk about every day life and just let her talk 90% of the time.
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 168
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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ffadicted
United States3545 Posts
TBH I'm not super good looking guy or anything, but I've never not gotten a second date, and that's solely because they always say I'm "different", aka I don't just take them to a lame classy restaurant and talk about every day life and just let her talk 90% of the time. | ||
dravernor
Netherlands6192 Posts
On May 27 2013 10:40 heroyi wrote: Seriously. Don't talk about things that limit the scope of the conversation. Asking about the weather can only net so many different responses. You want something broad but can be specific (how was weekend?). Sounds cliche but the reason why this works is because you are asking about her day and, if she isnt boring, will give you a legitimate response of which should allow you to follow up: G: Oh, I had to help my grandma do some garden work. You: Oh what does she grow? (or whatever question, story/anecdote of your choosing) essentially just avoid anything that limits the conversation (if asking about weather): You: hows the weather Girl: its nice ---end of transmission-- ^^how the hell do you follow up to that? Answer: you dont Bonus points if you can make her laugh with a witty response. Edit: In fact making her laugh will almost guarantee that she will feel positive feelings towards you, which is what you want, surely? | ||
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Mikau
Netherlands1446 Posts
On May 26 2013 19:59 r.Evo wrote: "Oh wtf he DOES want to date me, okay... let's see where this goes." It's on, but not with a lot of leeway. She's gonna try and figure out how much is behind that sudden presence of balls. No red roses or presents plz. glgl Either I messed up or there was just nothing there. Probably a bit of both. Story of my first dates so far though, I just can't seem to act differently than my standard friendly cheery self on dates. I guss I have to really change the way I approach dates or accept that part of me and wait for that girl that can see through that. At least I was relaxed during the date, that alone is somewhat of a step in the right direction. Anyway, next. | ||
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r.Evo
Germany14081 Posts
-Don't masturbate for a week or so before the date. -When you're at the date, picture her naked and what it would be like to make out with her/have sex with her. Use your potentially raging boner as your brain. Even if you might be too nervous/afraid to escalate, your inner caveman will know the drill. Some kind of potential "What are you thinking about?" gets answered among the lines of "You don't want to know" while holding eye contact and thinking dirty things. Suddenly things are easier than you could have imagined them. | ||
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Grumbels
Netherlands7032 Posts
On May 27 2013 19:35 r.Evo wrote: If that "standard friendly cheery self" seems to be an issue for you (aka you can keep up conversations well, think things go fine but don't do anything flirty/sexual enough) feel free to try some of the following: -Don't masturbate for a week or so before the date. -When you're at the date, picture her naked and what it would be like to make out with her/have sex with her. Use your potentially raging boner as your brain. Even if you might be too nervous/afraid to escalate, your inner caveman will know the drill. Some kind of potential "What are you thinking about?" gets answered among the lines of "You don't want to know" while holding eye contact and thinking dirty things. Suddenly things are easier than you could have imagined them. But what about self-respect? | ||
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MarlieChurphy
United States2065 Posts
Anyways, I always forget to ask people for numbers when I get talking too much. And later they disappeared and I got super drunk and I am still slapping myself for not asking. I need to like write a note or do something that will remind me to ask for numbers. Any ideas? | ||
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r.Evo
Germany14081 Posts
I surely hope someone is able to accept and respect himself as a sexual human being, without that it's hardly possible to enter a sexual relationship. | ||
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TOCHMY
Sweden1692 Posts
On May 27 2013 19:35 r.Evo wrote: If that "standard friendly cheery self" seems to be an issue for you (aka you can keep up conversations well, think things go fine but don't do anything flirty/sexual enough) feel free to try some of the following: -Don't masturbate for a week or so before the date. -When you're at the date, picture her naked and what it would be like to make out with her/have sex with her. Use your potentially raging boner as your brain. Even if you might be too nervous/afraid to escalate, your inner caveman will know the drill. Some kind of potential "What are you thinking about?" gets answered among the lines of "You don't want to know" while holding eye contact and thinking dirty things. Suddenly things are easier than you could have imagined them. Hahahahha wtf is this... | ||
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freewareplayer
Germany403 Posts
On May 27 2013 20:20 MarlieChurphy wrote: I was talking to these couple of chicks on the patio at a party on Saturday night for a long time. More specifically one of them, about psychology related stuff and how everyone needs therapy etc. It was a pretty deep convo and the chick was decent looking (my friend girl who brought me there was impressed that I was talking to the 'hottest chick at the party all night'). I personally would have given her a 7 or 8, she was a bit too skinny and didn't seem that intelligent (although she was emotionally intelligent). Anyways, I always forget to ask people for numbers when I get talking too much. And later they disappeared and I got super drunk and I am still slapping myself for not asking. I need to like write a note or do something that will remind me to ask for numbers. Any ideas? program an alarm note in your phone saying "GET HER NUMBER". Set it up to ring in, maybe in 30 min, or your desired time, right before you go talk to the girl. If your phone rings and your still talking to her, get her number. Just pretend you got a text or sth. | ||
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Grumbels
Netherlands7032 Posts
On May 27 2013 21:33 r.Evo wrote: I surely hope someone is able to accept and respect himself as a sexual human being, without that it's hardly possible to enter a sexual relationship. I don't think it's a good idea to use some technique to pursue a woman that you would be embarrassed to admit to her in case you're successful. If you're not, then more power to you, but personally I would find it creepy to do an exercise in fantasizing having sex with someone. If someone wants to escalate a relationship he can just ask her (e.g. "do you want to do something more romantic next time?" and then take her out for dinner) | ||
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Recognizable
Netherlands1552 Posts
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RvB
Netherlands6326 Posts
On May 28 2013 03:00 Recognizable wrote: So, I was studying for my exam in the school's library and this girl I've randomly talked to once came to me and we started to talk. Anyway, I asked for her phone number and she gave it to me. However, I have this idea that she might have a boyfriend, because I've seen her with a guy. Just ask her out and see what she says? Yeh, nee heb je ja kan je krijgen right? User was warned for this post | ||
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xicoo
Portugal55 Posts
On May 28 2013 03:00 Recognizable wrote: So, I was studying for my exam in the school's library and this girl I've randomly talked to once came to me and we started to talk. Anyway, I asked for her phone number and she gave it to me. However, I have this idea that she might have a boyfriend, because I've seen her with a guy. Just ask her out and see what she says? If she has a boyfriend and aproaches you like this, their relationship is problably already over despite being together (in case she has a bf), just ask her out what is wrong with that. | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
ze wil duidelijk gewoon piemel  User was warned for this post User was temp banned for this post. | ||
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AeroGear
Canada652 Posts
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r.Evo
Germany14081 Posts
On May 28 2013 02:55 Grumbels wrote: I don't think it's a good idea to use some technique to pursue a woman that you would be embarrassed to admit to her in case you're successful. If you're not, then more power to you, but personally I would find it creepy to do an exercise in fantasizing having sex with someone. If someone wants to escalate a relationship he can just ask her (e.g. "do you want to do something more romantic next time?" and then take her out for dinner) How often has just being friendly at a date or two and then asking "do you want to do something more romantic next time" worked out for you? How often has it turned some kind of "wow, I want more from that woman" into a sexual relationship? Do you ask whether she wants to kiss you as well? How does that work out?(*) =P You don't escalate a situation to be more physical by asking her about it. In cases like this you look at what the person in question is missing and look at how you can help him get it. If he'd have said that he's too forward and women perceive that as creepy my first suggestion would have been to go whack off two times before the date. Now that I think about it, it's pretty sad to perceive "go accept that you're horny for that girl and be honest about it" as a "creepy technique". Welp. (*) Irony aside, what really matters is: "Has it worked often enough in different situations and can you teach it to someone else so that it works consistently for him as well?" | ||
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MarlieChurphy
United States2065 Posts
On May 28 2013 01:18 freewareplayer wrote: program an alarm note in your phone saying "GET HER NUMBER". Set it up to ring in, maybe in 30 min, or your desired time, right before you go talk to the girl. If your phone rings and your still talking to her, get her number. Just pretend you got a text or sth. I would have to set me alarm to go off like every 30 minutes. If I can remember to set it then I would remember to ask for it | ||
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Grumbels
Netherlands7032 Posts
On May 28 2013 04:27 r.Evo wrote: How often has just being friendly at a date or two and then asking "do you want to do something more romantic next time" worked out for you? How often has it turned some kind of "wow, I want more from that woman" into a sexual relationship? Do you ask whether she wants to kiss you as well? How does that work out?(*) =P You don't escalate a situation to be more physical by asking her about it. In cases like this you look at what the person in question is missing and look at how you can help him get it. If he'd have said that he's too forward and women perceive that as creepy my first suggestion would have been to go whack off two times before the date. Now that I think about it, it's pretty sad to perceive "go accept that you're horny for that girl and be honest about it" as a "creepy technique". Welp. (*) Irony aside, what really matters is: "Has it worked often enough in different situations and can you teach it to someone else so that it works consistently for him as well?" If you think some elaborate scheme to deprive yourself of sex, while trying to program yourself to constantly fantasize about it, is a healthy way to prepare for escalating a relationship and is not at all creepy then I can't help you. | ||
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xicoo
Portugal55 Posts
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aTnClouD
Italy2428 Posts
On May 28 2013 06:30 xicoo wrote: why would you ask her to do something more romantic? you just ask her for dinner, in a romantic setting and she will get the signal for sure, if she doesn´t want to have a sexual relationship with you and says yes to the dinner and doesn´t avoid you at dinner and when you make a move she says no, well my friend she problably is not that nice of a person.. Almost every girl does that, and when you blame them they defend themselves saying they were too nice to say no upfront or didn't understand the situation. The best way to avoid this is to never go to a romantic dinner and never pay for anything. | ||
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