We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
On May 18 2013 00:59 Shady Sands wrote: "You should stop drinking so much diet dr pepper, its bad for your sperm quality"
cute or creepy?
Depends on the context.
we've seen each other for less than a month and she's thinking about my sperm quality
oag?
It's nothing to take too seriously. If you commented that a certain medication can cause birth defects, it's not much different.
Fair enough. I generally try to never talk about birth/kids stuff with a girl unless we've been together for awhile, so maybe that's why I thought it was odd
On May 18 2013 00:59 Shady Sands wrote: "You should stop drinking so much diet dr pepper, its bad for your sperm quality"
cute or creepy?
Depends on the context.
we've seen each other for less than a month and she's thinking about my sperm quality
oag?
It's nothing to take too seriously. If you commented that a certain medication can cause birth defects, it's not much different.
Fair enough. I generally try to never talk about birth/kids stuff with a girl unless we've been together for awhile, so maybe that's why I thought it was odd
Shady is your entire relationship with this girl from the airplane going to be chronicled in different posts in different threads on TL, and joinable together to form a grand tapestry, that you will send your grand kids on in the future to collect?! Perhaps giving them the website name on your death bed lol.
On May 10 2013 06:06 Garfailed wrote: I've only kissed a girl twice, and never had girlfriend. And next month i turn 19... Im rather pathetic...
Appareantly, that girl i kissed was setup by my friends... I feel really terrible now
i had my first girlfriend at 20, i never kissed anyone before her let alone have sex, right after i did it i realized how stupid i was for being ashamed of being a virgin, its just not that big of a deal trust me, society can be a bitch sometimes..
pretty good i have to say, despite starting rather later in life (19) i spent the earlier years on self improvement and have been reaping the results ever since as i have gotten with (not exclusively in a sexual sense) most of the girls ive pursued... In the last few years Ive dated every girl ive set after without too much effort (for the most part.)
Just wanted to share a tip that seemed to work pretty well
After getting a clear signal that she liked me, I hid a whole bunch of romantic/funny notes across her apartment, and every day I'll let her know where one of the notes is.
Since both of us travel quite a bit, this lets us share some degree of affection aside from the usual skyping/texting
On May 10 2013 06:06 Garfailed wrote: I've only kissed a girl twice, and never had girlfriend. And next month i turn 19... Im rather pathetic...
Appareantly, that girl i kissed was setup by my friends... I feel really terrible now
If this is important to you, you should start worrying and improving yourself to become more attractive to the other sex. And while I believe women, sex and relationships are overrated this can bring a lot of happiness to your life in many other aspects. Don't listen to the people saying it's normal and fine, because the truth is not having had any sort of contact with a girl at 19 is not by any means "normal" or ok.
I've been having an upswing lately. After the normal but unsuccessful two dates with that one girl a couple of weeks ago, I have since aquired a fuck buddy, one date scheduled with some girl from online who actually plays videogames (important) and one married woman wants to bang me. I must have been doing something right the past few weeks, although I don't know what cause I haven't changed anything.
On May 24 2013 01:04 heishe wrote: I've been having an upswing lately. After the normal but unsuccessful two dates with that one girl a couple of weeks ago, I have since aquired a fuck buddy, one date scheduled with some girl from online who actually plays videogames (important) and one married woman wants to bang me. I must have been doing something right the past few weeks, although I don't know what cause I haven't changed anything.
Awesome man, you're like a Muslim husband except you can eat pork
On May 10 2013 06:06 Garfailed wrote: I've only kissed a girl twice, and never had girlfriend. And next month i turn 19... Im rather pathetic...
Appareantly, that girl i kissed was setup by my friends... I feel really terrible now
if it is any consolation, if you have trouble finding girls who want in your pants, your buddies seem to care an awful lot about the usage of your weiner
On May 23 2013 06:19 Ambre wrote: Terrible terrible... luck.
Two days ago I ve been on a date with a girl I ve met on the Internet...
The date went fine, we both laughed quite a lot, but she wasn't really my type (physically), and she noticed. Now I think I made her REALLY sad, and I feel terrible. Before that we have been speaking for 2 weeks.
-_-'
unless you were rude or told her outright i dont find you hot you really cant feel bad. youre not going to be attracted to everyone. so long as you are respectful that is all tha matters
On May 10 2013 06:06 Garfailed wrote: I've only kissed a girl twice, and never had girlfriend. And next month i turn 19... Im rather pathetic...
Appareantly, that girl i kissed was setup by my friends... I feel really terrible now
heh, well I've never kissed a girl, i had a girlfriend once in high school. She asked ME out but I still somehow convinced myself that I wasn't good enough for her so I broke up with her by the end of the week...
Ive come a lot farther since than and I don't feel bad about being 19 and a virgin, coz when I meet someone I like I won't be afraid to take it to the next level
I met a girl I liked and that seemed to show some interest in me. We both agreed to sign up for this (recreational sports) activity, but failed to coordinate for she and I picked different time slots. As there are limited chances to sign up I would have to break protocol and defy university policy to make the switch, far from being guaranteed a spot. (and I am scared of bureaucrats) I felt like the flow of our relationship development had been disrupted: it was supposed to be the case that we could share in this activity and become closer to each other, but if I want to see her again I would have to make a direct move in pursuing her even if we were only friends before.
I think I can probably convince the trainer to let me switch time slots, but it will probably also require me to be quite insistent with him (which I don't like) and I don't want to make an enemy of him as I will be working with him closely for several months. I suspect she will be happy for me to make this effort, but I'm still quite worried since I'm not certain about this. There is a lingering suspicion in my mind that no woman can be attracted to me in this way, even despite her actual behavior, and I do lack self confidence. I would like to get through this without any strong emotional discomfort on my side, I really can't stand rejection, so I'll have to try to handle this situation carefully. My hope is that I can simply switch the time slots, have a proper non-committal reason for doing so to allow my actions to remain ambiguous from her point of view and then continue with seeing her weekly while becoming closer to her as I had originally planned.
(sorry if this level of elaboration sounds insane)
Oh, I have an update (to my highly boring romantic adventures).
I had mostly given up on my fancies of romance as, due to a succession of coincidences/school holidays, I ended up not seeing her for about a month, but eventually some more contrivances worked in my favor. We were the only two that showed up for a course, since a dozen people conveniently stayed home, so it's almost like I had a date handed to me. Actually, I went to play tennis with the instructor since I was the only one at first, but she was late and tracked us down and volunteered to play ballgirl, but it was still quite cozy, and we ended up talking a lot the next hour (for the next time slot for the same thing, although people actually showed up this time). And afterwards we walked together for a bit until out of nowhere it started to hail (and I was still wearing sports clothing), so she used her umbrella to protect me while we walked off into the sunset in romantic fashion..shield herself and to leave me to dash for my apartment, but I don't blame her since it was more practical as I was on my bike while she was walking. :p
On May 10 2013 06:06 Garfailed wrote: I've only kissed a girl twice, and never had girlfriend. And next month i turn 19... Im rather pathetic...
Appareantly, that girl i kissed was setup by my friends... I feel really terrible now
Dont worry, if you dont give a shit about it then girls wont. Do what you like and have fun and focus on developing yourself as a person. The less you care the more you get.
On May 18 2013 00:59 Shady Sands wrote: "You should stop drinking so much diet dr pepper, its bad for your sperm quality"
cute or creepy?
I have had that talks, but not exactly because of the fertility. Maybe you should look into it. Creepy stuff below just so i don't get called out again :d + Show Spoiler +
On May 10 2013 06:06 Garfailed wrote: I've only kissed a girl twice, and never had girlfriend. And next month i turn 19... Im rather pathetic...
Appareantly, that girl i kissed was setup by my friends... I feel really terrible now
If this is important to you, you should start worrying and improving yourself to become more attractive to the other sex. And while I believe women, sex and relationships are overrated this can bring a lot of happiness to your life in many other aspects. Don't listen to the people saying it's normal and fine, because the truth is not having had any sort of contact with a girl at 19 is not by any means "normal" or ok.
Its not the norm but why is it not "ok"? i mean the only thing i think can be bad is your first relationship you are bound to make many mistakes, the sooner you make them the better! but if you are a guy who goes to the club and picks up a chick for a one night stand at age 16 or w/e and you get laid, does that make you in anyway better then a virgin in a serious relationship? I think not.
The other thing is the stigma society puts on you for being a virgin and you can sometimes feel pressure to get a girl, i felt that and now i know how stupid that was.
I have friends who brag alot of how many chicks they banged and fucked and those who have gfs they all treat them poorly i just can´t see myself treating a womem the way they do, surprinsingly they all have far more experience with girls then me..
The female I have been crushing on at work has told me she is leaving the company and moving to Manhattan (I work in Connecticut) Now the good news is that I live in the Bronx so that is actually closer to me, but the bad news is that I feel like we will probably not talk again after next week if I do not take some drastic action. We only met a few weeks ago so this is pretty shitty timing.
I suppose I have to either get her digits or ask her out before she leaves. I am sure she'd give me her number if I just asked but I am not looking for a friendship I want to be clear I am looking for a date and/or sex. I am afraid asking for her number right before she leaves is going to come across as I either want her as like a business contact or I want to creep on her or some shit. Any ideas? I am despairing over here.
The female I have been crushing on at work has told me she is leaving the company and moving to Manhattan (I work in Connecticut) Now the good news is that I live in the Bronx so that is actually closer to me, but the bad news is that I feel like we will probably not talk again after next week if I do not take some drastic action. We only met a few weeks ago so this is pretty shitty timing.
I suppose I have to either get her digits or ask her out before she leaves. I am sure she'd give me her number if I just asked but I am not looking for a friendship I want to be clear I am looking for a date and/or sex. I am afraid asking for her number right before she leaves is going to come across as I either want her as like a business contact or I want to creep on her or some shit. Any ideas? I am despairing over here.
The female I have been crushing on at work has told me she is leaving the company and moving to Manhattan (I work in Connecticut) Now the good news is that I live in the Bronx so that is actually closer to me, but the bad news is that I feel like we will probably not talk again after next week if I do not take some drastic action. We only met a few weeks ago so this is pretty shitty timing.
I suppose I have to either get her digits or ask her out before she leaves. I am sure she'd give me her number if I just asked but I am not looking for a friendship I want to be clear I am looking for a date and/or sex. I am afraid asking for her number right before she leaves is going to come across as I either want her as like a business contact or I want to creep on her or some shit. Any ideas? I am despairing over here.
Needs more context for better tailored advice. How has your interaction been so far? Already flirtatious, or what?
You don't really need to be clear about anything. All you're looking to do is hang out with her over drinks, and you can escalate from there. What you don't want to do is essentially tell her while at work that you want to date/hook up.