Dating: How's your luck? - Page 160

On May 13 2013 16:13 aNGryaRchon wrote:
im ab out to date a really hot chick, any tips guys?

On May 12 2013 11:38 13JackaL wrote:
so theres this girl ive been crushing on for about a while now, an old friend from school. Eventually, I worked up the confidence to just send her a message, so we have a nice long conversation. We decide that we would most certainly catch up one of these days, though we don't really specify anything else. So a couple days later I throw her a message that I would take her out sometime after I get paid if she'd like of course. To that, I meet total silence, as if my existence just fades away.

She doesn't end up responding until a couple days later, which of course has me wondering, "How badly did I mess up?" and if so, "What the fuck?" All she says in her response is "LOL no its fine i have my own money." So I really want to meet her at some point but her sudden lack of interest disturbs me. It doesn't even need to be a "date" or anything like that, I just don't understand what's going through this girl's head.

Any advice TL? :D

On May 13 2013 16:19 EngrishTeacher wrote:


Edit:

Nvm I'm drunk don't want ban, just um... be yourself or something.

On May 13 2013 05:16 rezoacken wrote:


That reminds me of something I read once. To fall for somebody people get attracted by some traits. Of course, which traits, depends on the person but that's not what I'm going to discuss.
For each trait you possess, each will be attractive at different levels depending on how someone finds out about them. From best to worst:
1. She discovers one of your quality by herself (best)
2. One of her friend tells her.
3. One of your friend tells her.
4. You tell her yourself. (worst)

(Of course this also work for defaults)

So when you befriend her friends, they will at least not block you and at best even sell you and displaying qualities that way is imo one of the best ways.

That's also why trying to convince someone you have qualities is just the worst thing ever. You have to display them, not brag about it.

On May 13 2013 16:46 Metalreflux wrote:


Women are more then just skin, there is a brain in there.

On May 12 2013 13:10 kaykaykay wrote:


So it's okay if the ladies see me flirting with others?

On May 13 2013 19:27 aTnClouD wrote:

I personally find that the better looking they are the stupider they become. It might be cultural here but I always had to lower the level of the discussion and the language to speak with a really hot girl.

On May 13 2013 21:05 Wombat_NI wrote:

I don't think they are stupider as such, but through their lives are generally under less obligation to show their intelligence, wit or what have you than their less attractive peers.

I'd imagine it's why the whole 'negging' thing works better on hot chicks, they appreciate the ballsiness a bit more because it's less commonly directed at them.

On May 13 2013 16:45 quetzy wrote:


You seriously worded it like that?!
*sigh* Girls communicate on more than just the top "information sharing" level. I'm not trying to make you overthink everything ten times before saying it, but things you say do have implications, and a bit of forethought wouldn't hurt.
In the case of that bolded statement, you basically (rather obviously) implied that 'taking her out' is a costly thing (why?), and that you think of her as someone who expects you to pay for the date (which, even if it's a nice gesture that you probably will do, should not be expected by default in today's world).
In her head, you possibly implied the assumption that she's a sponsor-girl, which is never nice to hear (at least to any normal person).
You're lucky that, judging by her - perfectly normal - reaction ("LOL no its fine i have my own money."), she seems to be a rather down-to-earth normal person and just found your money-worry amusing (she probably now understands just how worked over this whole thing you actually are). The only possible problem is it took her three days to reply, which might mean you did shock her a bit at first with such an assumption - but the fact she replied and did so in a joking tone means she went over it and is giving you a chance.
So stop over-analysing and just go somewhere with her. And for god's sake, ignore the movies, you don't have to take her to a fancy restaurant (in fact, doing so would probably just end up being awkward, and you'll worry more about money than her), just go somewhere enjoyable where you feel at home. Show her a place you like, do an activity together (heck, even just a hike), anything... if she's interested (and normal), she won't care where you two go, as long as she gets to talk to you and learn more about you.

About the second part of the bolded statement ("if she'd like of course"), just skip saying those things. If you're asking someone out, it's implied that they will accept 'if they like', and decline 'if they don't like'. Stating it like this just makes it look like you're insecure about if she would accept at all, which means you feel that she's 'better than you'.
She doesn't know you, but she assumes you know yourself, and if she gets a feeling that you don't value yourself much, then why would she? (confidence is a tricky thing... I'm not saying be cocky, but you sure as hell shouldn't put yourself down, or lift her up in the sky either... you're just two persons checking out if you like to share each other's company, enjoy it )

Also, were those two messages you mentioned the last messages you exchanged? What was your response to her last message? Because I don't understand where in this is *her* lack of interest.
Can you clarify a bit please?

On May 13 2013 23:54 Wombat_NI wrote:
Depends where you go Cloud, agreed on the Eastern-European girls but that may be my irrational love of the Slavic ladies talking.

I find foreign girls tend to be 'smarter' or at least more comfortable in emphasising that aspect of themselves, when in other countries at least. That may be explicable by the average immigrant coming over here being more intelligent anyway (especially certain groups who only migrate for education reasons), or perhaps culturally it's more valued to be outspoken and interesting elsewhere in the world.

I actually do a lot better with foreign girls for whatever reason. I've found introducing myself is a lot less of a hassle as there's some kind of inbuilt point of reference (namely them being foreign), but equally that's not enough to sustain conversation beyond that. I find it close to impossible to just go up to somebody and say hello without such a reference point (being a smoker helps in some respects there.

Foreigners also tend to appreciate you actually knowing a bit about their homelands too, and I'm the kind of guy who has a very shallow, but extremely broad knowledge set so that helps too. I managed to have a rare casual encounter with a visiting Finn after discussing the Winter War with Russia and the famous sniper Simo Häyhä among other things. A pair of Latvians were enamoured with me and my friend because I guessed they were from Riga, a city I really only know because of the exploits of Skonto Riga and Maris Verpakovskis [sic].

On May 14 2013 01:37 Executor1 wrote:



Not that I suggest anyone start smoking, but i meet a lot of girls just because of the fact that i smoke. Even if you dont smoke you could always carry around an interesting lighter just in case a girl is in need of a light.

On May 13 2013 16:19 DragonLord wrote:


Sorry rez, I couldn't help notice your signature, I just wanted to let you know it is Khal Drogo Drogo is his name, and Khal is the Dothraki term for 'king'. Unless you are referring to a gamer with that handle that I don't know about, in which case please disregard me

On May 14 2013 07:14 Shady Sands wrote:
So just in case anybody from this thread missed my blog, my luck in dating has been amazing over the past two weeks.