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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On April 30 2013 08:03 McBengt wrote:
Good thing we have Cloud here, ain't nobody as alpha as this motherfucker. He is like the starcraft version of The Fonz, just being near him pretty much guarantees you at least a blowjob.
Glad you appreciate my value to the fullest
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On May 01 2013 03:54 Recognizable wrote:
It went well. We'll see where this progresses. Now I really need to study.
Define 'went well'
This is starting to become a gossip girl thread lol
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Dear diary: Fiddled Josie's nipple today. Was awesome. Stroked her breasts until she woke up. Note to self: need stronger chloroform.
User was warned for this post
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On May 01 2013 04:03 B.I.G. wrote:Show nested quote +On May 01 2013 03:54 Recognizable wrote:
It went well. We'll see where this progresses. Now I really need to study. Define 'went well' This is starting to become a gossip girl thread lol
Told her I liked her, she liked me. Agreed to do something together after exams.
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Few weeks ago, I was carrying a torch for someone.
Now when I'm not actively searching, I've had 5-6 girls come up and take the initiative to speak to me.
One even took my phone and keyed in her own number, giving her own phone a missed call to get my number, and then texted me first that very evening.
It's true what they say,
“Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing"
Or maybe it could just be that taking the effort to dress up, look good and smell fresh attracts more than just your intended target.
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Guys... I need some tips, okay?
So a short introduction to me would basicly include me having a girlfriend from age 16 through 24 (7½ years with the same girl)... But she dumped me in november... Well, I've never had issues talking to-, dancing with- og flirting with girls. So sure, I've had a few since then... But last saturday I went to a party at a friends house... Long story short - I end up with my friends sister. Both my friend and the girl are cool with it - but it's somehow holding me back. I saw her again last night and had an amazing time... But I still feel it's odd being my friends sister...
Any thoughts on dating your friends sisters? Because this girl is actually pretty terrific, but I can feel I'm holding back... a lot...
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What do you do when the girl you like, when asked what bands/artists she cant live without, answers: Lil Wayne, One Direction, Muse and U2.
What do? Jump ship?
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On May 02 2013 18:27 TOCHMY wrote:
What do you do when the girl you like, when asked what bands/artists she cant live without, answers: Lil Wayne, One Direction, Muse and U2.
What do? Jump ship?
Stay in it, Muse is awesome so not all hope is lost.
It's incredibly easy to - to put it in the most pretentious way possible - educate her about good music, if she's into you.
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Hey guys, I am at a crossroad xD. So, there is this girl, we went out once, it was all perfectly fine. She is however the type of person that you have to go slow with, so I didn't have the oppurunity to kiss her. Anyway, she confessed that she likes me, but just doesn't feel the same way I do and she said that she would go out with me again in the future (now this sounds like a 100% friendzone, but believe me, it doesn't feel exactly like that) So what do I do? Do I move on and look for another possibilities or do I keep fighting. It is more logical to give up, but personally , I hate giving up, I've said to myself that I would keep going until everything becomes futile.I'd really appreciate your advice haha.
PS: And I forgot to mention, the girl is definitely worth it xd .
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On May 02 2013 19:08 MagmaPunch wrote:
Hey guys, I am at a crossroad xD. So, there is this girl, we went out once, it was all perfectly fine. She is however the type of person that you have to go slow with, so I didn't have the oppurunity to kiss her. Anyway, she confessed that she likes me, but just doesn't feel the same way I do and she said that she would go out with me again in the future (now this sounds like a 100% friendzone, but believe me, it doesn't feel exactly like that) So what do I do? Do I move on and look for another possibilities or do I keep fighting. It is more logical to give up, but personally , I hate giving up, I've said to myself that I would keep going until everything becomes futile.I'd really appreciate your advice haha.
PS: And I forgot to mention, the girl is definitely worth it xd .
She's making you chase her, imo there's nothing to win there.
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On May 02 2013 18:13 Mentalizor wrote:
Guys... I need some tips, okay?
So a short introduction to me would basicly include me having a girlfriend from age 16 through 24 (7½ years with the same girl)... But she dumped me in november... Well, I've never had issues talking to-, dancing with- og flirting with girls. So sure, I've had a few since then... But last saturday I went to a party at a friends house... Long story short - I end up with my friends sister. Both my friend and the girl are cool with it - but it's somehow holding me back. I saw her again last night and had an amazing time... But I still feel it's odd being my friends sister...
Any thoughts on dating your friends sisters? Because this girl is actually pretty terrific, but I can feel I'm holding back... a lot...
sounds like the only one that has an issue with it is... you?
anyway, if everyone are perfectly happy, then it should be fine, the issue might be if/when everyone are not perfectly happy. for example if you make her upset, that might have a negative impact on your friendship with her brother, though I would say go for it and make the most of it.
On May 02 2013 19:59 aTnClouD wrote:Show nested quote +On May 02 2013 19:08 MagmaPunch wrote:
Hey guys, I am at a crossroad xD. So, there is this girl, we went out once, it was all perfectly fine. She is however the type of person that you have to go slow with, so I didn't have the oppurunity to kiss her. Anyway, she confessed that she likes me, but just doesn't feel the same way I do and she said that she would go out with me again in the future (now this sounds like a 100% friendzone, but believe me, it doesn't feel exactly like that) So what do I do? Do I move on and look for another possibilities or do I keep fighting. It is more logical to give up, but personally , I hate giving up, I've said to myself that I would keep going until everything becomes futile.I'd really appreciate your advice haha.
PS: And I forgot to mention, the girl is definitely worth it xd . She's making you chase her, imo there's nothing to win there.
agreed, nothing can be done while you are chasing her.
but what if you can make her chase you?
On May 02 2013 19:08 MagmaPunch wrote:
Hey guys, I am at a crossroad xD. So, there is this girl, we went out once, it was all perfectly fine. She is however the type of person that you have to go slow with, so I didn't have the oppurunity to kiss her. Anyway, she confessed that she likes me, but just doesn't feel the same way I do and she said that she would go out with me again in the future (now this sounds like a 100% friendzone, but believe me, it doesn't feel exactly like that) So what do I do? Do I move on and look for another possibilities or do I keep fighting. It is more logical to give up, but personally , I hate giving up, I've said to myself that I would keep going until everything becomes futile.I'd really appreciate your advice haha.
PS: And I forgot to mention, the girl is definitely worth it xd .
indeed, sounds like 100% friendzone. so here is how I understand it:
she likes you, but does not consider you as a candidate for dating.
you like her, and considers her a candidate for dating.
there are many, many paths that can lead to this situation, what all of them have in common is that she thinks she can choose and she feels like she can choose someone better than you.
what you need to do is demonstrate that that is false. there are 3 ways of doing that, the very wrong way, the wrong way and the right way. don't do the wrong way or the very wrong way.
the very wrong way: lower her self-esteem until she doesn't think she good enough for those other guys. this results in you potentially getting her, but due to her lowered self-esteem she will not be a high-quality girlfriend. both of you end up unhappy.
the wrong way: try to "out-alpha" the other people around her. basically if you are a douche then she will be "the one with the douchey friend" and both of you are alienated from everyone else, naturally you will be the only candidate for dating, though it is quite likely that she will just cut you off instead of cutting off everyone else. result: either you are "happy" (has the girl) and she is unhappy (stuck with a douche), or you are unhappy (branded as douche and alone) and she is happy (with her friends, having forgotten about you).
you might wonder why I started with the wrong ways, thats because the right way is much more difficult, and if you do the right way wrong, it might very easily revert to one of the worse ways. DON'T DO THAT! VERY IMPORTANT! DON'T BE A DOUCHE! DON'T MAKE HER FEEL BAD! it might sound obvious (and it is) but it is a common mistake to overcompensate for some kind of insecurity and end up being a douche, or making her feel bad.
the right way: both wrong ways have 1 thing in common, they reduce her candidates for dating until you are on top, the right way is the opposite, demonstrate that she misjudged you and that you are a prime candidate for dating, a good way of doing this is show her that you are good at making friends, either her friends or just random strangers neither of you knew before, point is to have her see you making new friends. the ability to make friends is very closely related to how many dating options you have, and when you do this you basically say (through your actions, you don't speak it out) "hey, you have a bunch of options, so do I, that makes me attractive and you want to date me." and hell! you might just find another girlfriend while making friends with a bunch of people!
and yes, this actually works. given that you don't screw it up.
of course, demonstrating that you can make friends is not the only way of proving you are a dating candidate, but it is a really good one.
point is, you have to make her re-think your quality as a boyfriend, and this time you have to rank first. right now she thinks she has your personality pinned down, you must disrupt this by doing something she doesn't expect you would do, and it must be a positive change. that will make her brain go haywire and be forced to redefine your personality, and that's what you want.
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indeed, sounds like 100% friendzone. so here is how I understand it:
she likes you, but does not consider you as a candidate for dating.
you like her, and considers her a candidate for dating.
there are many, many paths that can lead to this situation, what all of them have in common is that she thinks she can choose and she feels like she can choose someone better than you.
what you need to do is demonstrate that that is false. there are 3 ways of doing that, the very wrong way, the wrong way and the right way. don't do the wrong way or the very wrong way.
the very wrong way: lower her self-esteem until she doesn't think she good enough for those other guys. this results in you potentially getting her, but due to her lowered self-esteem she will not be a high-quality girlfriend. both of you end up unhappy.
the wrong way: try to "out-alpha" the other people around her. basically if you are a douche then she will be "the one with the douchey friend" and both of you are alienated from everyone else, naturally you will be the only candidate for dating, though it is quite likely that she will just cut you off instead of cutting off everyone else. result: either you are "happy" (has the girl) and she is unhappy (stuck with a douche), or you are unhappy (branded as douche and alone) and she is happy (with her friends, having forgotten about you).
you might wonder why I started with the wrong ways, thats because the right way is much more difficult, and if you do the right way wrong, it might very easily revert to one of the worse ways. DON'T DO THAT! VERY IMPORTANT! DON'T BE A DOUCHE! DON'T MAKE HER FEEL BAD! it might sound obvious (and it is) but it is a common mistake to overcompensate for some kind of insecurity and end up being a douche, or making her feel bad.
the right way: both wrong ways have 1 thing in common, they reduce her candidates for dating until you are on top, the right way is the opposite, demonstrate that she misjudged you and that you are a prime candidate for dating, a good way of doing this is show her that you are good at making friends, either her friends or just random strangers neither of you knew before, point is to have her see you making new friends. the ability to make friends is very closely related to how many dating options you have, and when you do this you basically say (through your actions, you don't speak it out) "hey, you have a bunch of options, so do I, that makes me attractive and you want to date me." and hell! you might just find another girlfriend while making friends with a bunch of people!
and yes, this actually works. given that you don't screw it up.
of course, demonstrating that you can make friends is not the only way of proving you are a dating candidate, but it is a really good one.
point is, you have to make her re-think your quality as a boyfriend, and this time you have to rank first. right now she thinks she has your personality pinned down, you must disrupt this by doing something she doesn't expect you would do, and it must be a positive change. that will make her brain go haywire and be forced to redefine your personality, and that's what you want.
ugh...life's too short to go through that much bullshit for a girl.
"Look Susie! Look how many random people I can get to like me!"
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On May 02 2013 20:41 mufin wrote:Show nested quote +
indeed, sounds like 100% friendzone. so here is how I understand it:
she likes you, but does not consider you as a candidate for dating.
you like her, and considers her a candidate for dating.
there are many, many paths that can lead to this situation, what all of them have in common is that she thinks she can choose and she feels like she can choose someone better than you.
what you need to do is demonstrate that that is false. there are 3 ways of doing that, the very wrong way, the wrong way and the right way. don't do the wrong way or the very wrong way.
the very wrong way: lower her self-esteem until she doesn't think she good enough for those other guys. this results in you potentially getting her, but due to her lowered self-esteem she will not be a high-quality girlfriend. both of you end up unhappy.
the wrong way: try to "out-alpha" the other people around her. basically if you are a douche then she will be "the one with the douchey friend" and both of you are alienated from everyone else, naturally you will be the only candidate for dating, though it is quite likely that she will just cut you off instead of cutting off everyone else. result: either you are "happy" (has the girl) and she is unhappy (stuck with a douche), or you are unhappy (branded as douche and alone) and she is happy (with her friends, having forgotten about you).
you might wonder why I started with the wrong ways, thats because the right way is much more difficult, and if you do the right way wrong, it might very easily revert to one of the worse ways. DON'T DO THAT! VERY IMPORTANT! DON'T BE A DOUCHE! DON'T MAKE HER FEEL BAD! it might sound obvious (and it is) but it is a common mistake to overcompensate for some kind of insecurity and end up being a douche, or making her feel bad.
the right way: both wrong ways have 1 thing in common, they reduce her candidates for dating until you are on top, the right way is the opposite, demonstrate that she misjudged you and that you are a prime candidate for dating, a good way of doing this is show her that you are good at making friends, either her friends or just random strangers neither of you knew before, point is to have her see you making new friends. the ability to make friends is very closely related to how many dating options you have, and when you do this you basically say (through your actions, you don't speak it out) "hey, you have a bunch of options, so do I, that makes me attractive and you want to date me." and hell! you might just find another girlfriend while making friends with a bunch of people!
and yes, this actually works. given that you don't screw it up.
of course, demonstrating that you can make friends is not the only way of proving you are a dating candidate, but it is a really good one.
point is, you have to make her re-think your quality as a boyfriend, and this time you have to rank first. right now she thinks she has your personality pinned down, you must disrupt this by doing something she doesn't expect you would do, and it must be a positive change. that will make her brain go haywire and be forced to redefine your personality, and that's what you want.
ugh...life's too short to go through that much bullshit for a girl. "Look Susie! Look how many random people I can get to like me!"
You have to become an actor, an entertainer, somewhat close to a clown to be liked by girls and random people in general. That's what you have to do if you want to have casual sex without sharing much with the other person.
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United Kingdom36161 Posts
On May 02 2013 20:46 aTnClouD wrote:Show nested quote +On May 02 2013 20:41 mufin wrote:
indeed, sounds like 100% friendzone. so here is how I understand it:
she likes you, but does not consider you as a candidate for dating.
you like her, and considers her a candidate for dating.
there are many, many paths that can lead to this situation, what all of them have in common is that she thinks she can choose and she feels like she can choose someone better than you.
what you need to do is demonstrate that that is false. there are 3 ways of doing that, the very wrong way, the wrong way and the right way. don't do the wrong way or the very wrong way.
the very wrong way: lower her self-esteem until she doesn't think she good enough for those other guys. this results in you potentially getting her, but due to her lowered self-esteem she will not be a high-quality girlfriend. both of you end up unhappy.
the wrong way: try to "out-alpha" the other people around her. basically if you are a douche then she will be "the one with the douchey friend" and both of you are alienated from everyone else, naturally you will be the only candidate for dating, though it is quite likely that she will just cut you off instead of cutting off everyone else. result: either you are "happy" (has the girl) and she is unhappy (stuck with a douche), or you are unhappy (branded as douche and alone) and she is happy (with her friends, having forgotten about you).
you might wonder why I started with the wrong ways, thats because the right way is much more difficult, and if you do the right way wrong, it might very easily revert to one of the worse ways. DON'T DO THAT! VERY IMPORTANT! DON'T BE A DOUCHE! DON'T MAKE HER FEEL BAD! it might sound obvious (and it is) but it is a common mistake to overcompensate for some kind of insecurity and end up being a douche, or making her feel bad.
the right way: both wrong ways have 1 thing in common, they reduce her candidates for dating until you are on top, the right way is the opposite, demonstrate that she misjudged you and that you are a prime candidate for dating, a good way of doing this is show her that you are good at making friends, either her friends or just random strangers neither of you knew before, point is to have her see you making new friends. the ability to make friends is very closely related to how many dating options you have, and when you do this you basically say (through your actions, you don't speak it out) "hey, you have a bunch of options, so do I, that makes me attractive and you want to date me." and hell! you might just find another girlfriend while making friends with a bunch of people!
and yes, this actually works. given that you don't screw it up.
of course, demonstrating that you can make friends is not the only way of proving you are a dating candidate, but it is a really good one.
point is, you have to make her re-think your quality as a boyfriend, and this time you have to rank first. right now she thinks she has your personality pinned down, you must disrupt this by doing something she doesn't expect you would do, and it must be a positive change. that will make her brain go haywire and be forced to redefine your personality, and that's what you want.
ugh...life's too short to go through that much bullshit for a girl. "Look Susie! Look how many random people I can get to like me!" You have to become an actor, an entertainer, somewhat close to a clown to be liked by girls and random people in general. That's what you have to do if you want to have casual sex without sharing much with the other person.
Quick wit and a ready smile is usually sufficient.
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On May 02 2013 19:59 aTnClouD wrote:Show nested quote +On May 02 2013 19:08 MagmaPunch wrote:
Hey guys, I am at a crossroad xD. So, there is this girl, we went out once, it was all perfectly fine. She is however the type of person that you have to go slow with, so I didn't have the oppurunity to kiss her. Anyway, she confessed that she likes me, but just doesn't feel the same way I do and she said that she would go out with me again in the future (now this sounds like a 100% friendzone, but believe me, it doesn't feel exactly like that) So what do I do? Do I move on and look for another possibilities or do I keep fighting. It is more logical to give up, but personally , I hate giving up, I've said to myself that I would keep going until everything becomes futile.I'd really appreciate your advice haha.
PS: And I forgot to mention, the girl is definitely worth it xd . She's making you chase her, imo there's nothing to win there.
It's ok if she want's to make you work for it (Hell, it's a lot better than sex on the first date girls imo), but she does have to give you a chance to chase. If she only says "a date in the future" or some crap than it's not gonna fly. She's gotta realise that good things don't last long so she better make a decision. AKA if she doesn't want you now she can go fuck herself while you fuck her friends. Don't be just an option bro.
Also, I am surprised by how often people seem to find themselves in this kind of situation in this thread because I've never known anyone in real life this has happened to.
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On May 02 2013 20:56 marvellosity wrote:Show nested quote +On May 02 2013 20:46 aTnClouD wrote:On May 02 2013 20:41 mufin wrote:
indeed, sounds like 100% friendzone. so here is how I understand it:
she likes you, but does not consider you as a candidate for dating.
you like her, and considers her a candidate for dating.
there are many, many paths that can lead to this situation, what all of them have in common is that she thinks she can choose and she feels like she can choose someone better than you.
what you need to do is demonstrate that that is false. there are 3 ways of doing that, the very wrong way, the wrong way and the right way. don't do the wrong way or the very wrong way.
the very wrong way: lower her self-esteem until she doesn't think she good enough for those other guys. this results in you potentially getting her, but due to her lowered self-esteem she will not be a high-quality girlfriend. both of you end up unhappy.
the wrong way: try to "out-alpha" the other people around her. basically if you are a douche then she will be "the one with the douchey friend" and both of you are alienated from everyone else, naturally you will be the only candidate for dating, though it is quite likely that she will just cut you off instead of cutting off everyone else. result: either you are "happy" (has the girl) and she is unhappy (stuck with a douche), or you are unhappy (branded as douche and alone) and she is happy (with her friends, having forgotten about you).
you might wonder why I started with the wrong ways, thats because the right way is much more difficult, and if you do the right way wrong, it might very easily revert to one of the worse ways. DON'T DO THAT! VERY IMPORTANT! DON'T BE A DOUCHE! DON'T MAKE HER FEEL BAD! it might sound obvious (and it is) but it is a common mistake to overcompensate for some kind of insecurity and end up being a douche, or making her feel bad.
the right way: both wrong ways have 1 thing in common, they reduce her candidates for dating until you are on top, the right way is the opposite, demonstrate that she misjudged you and that you are a prime candidate for dating, a good way of doing this is show her that you are good at making friends, either her friends or just random strangers neither of you knew before, point is to have her see you making new friends. the ability to make friends is very closely related to how many dating options you have, and when you do this you basically say (through your actions, you don't speak it out) "hey, you have a bunch of options, so do I, that makes me attractive and you want to date me." and hell! you might just find another girlfriend while making friends with a bunch of people!
and yes, this actually works. given that you don't screw it up.
of course, demonstrating that you can make friends is not the only way of proving you are a dating candidate, but it is a really good one.
point is, you have to make her re-think your quality as a boyfriend, and this time you have to rank first. right now she thinks she has your personality pinned down, you must disrupt this by doing something she doesn't expect you would do, and it must be a positive change. that will make her brain go haywire and be forced to redefine your personality, and that's what you want.
ugh...life's too short to go through that much bullshit for a girl. "Look Susie! Look how many random people I can get to like me!" You have to become an actor, an entertainer, somewhat close to a clown to be liked by girls and random people in general. That's what you have to do if you want to have casual sex without sharing much with the other person. Quick wit and a ready smile is usually sufficient.
It depends on how good the girl perceives she is. If you want to go for quality girls you have to invest a lot more. Of course there are ways to get girls easily, for example a progamer can easily get a fangirl even if he does everything wrong, but who would want someone with such a low value who is ready to surrender so easily?
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United Kingdom36161 Posts
On May 02 2013 21:00 aTnClouD wrote:Show nested quote +On May 02 2013 20:56 marvellosity wrote:On May 02 2013 20:46 aTnClouD wrote:On May 02 2013 20:41 mufin wrote:
indeed, sounds like 100% friendzone. so here is how I understand it:
she likes you, but does not consider you as a candidate for dating.
you like her, and considers her a candidate for dating.
there are many, many paths that can lead to this situation, what all of them have in common is that she thinks she can choose and she feels like she can choose someone better than you.
what you need to do is demonstrate that that is false. there are 3 ways of doing that, the very wrong way, the wrong way and the right way. don't do the wrong way or the very wrong way.
the very wrong way: lower her self-esteem until she doesn't think she good enough for those other guys. this results in you potentially getting her, but due to her lowered self-esteem she will not be a high-quality girlfriend. both of you end up unhappy.
the wrong way: try to "out-alpha" the other people around her. basically if you are a douche then she will be "the one with the douchey friend" and both of you are alienated from everyone else, naturally you will be the only candidate for dating, though it is quite likely that she will just cut you off instead of cutting off everyone else. result: either you are "happy" (has the girl) and she is unhappy (stuck with a douche), or you are unhappy (branded as douche and alone) and she is happy (with her friends, having forgotten about you).
you might wonder why I started with the wrong ways, thats because the right way is much more difficult, and if you do the right way wrong, it might very easily revert to one of the worse ways. DON'T DO THAT! VERY IMPORTANT! DON'T BE A DOUCHE! DON'T MAKE HER FEEL BAD! it might sound obvious (and it is) but it is a common mistake to overcompensate for some kind of insecurity and end up being a douche, or making her feel bad.
the right way: both wrong ways have 1 thing in common, they reduce her candidates for dating until you are on top, the right way is the opposite, demonstrate that she misjudged you and that you are a prime candidate for dating, a good way of doing this is show her that you are good at making friends, either her friends or just random strangers neither of you knew before, point is to have her see you making new friends. the ability to make friends is very closely related to how many dating options you have, and when you do this you basically say (through your actions, you don't speak it out) "hey, you have a bunch of options, so do I, that makes me attractive and you want to date me." and hell! you might just find another girlfriend while making friends with a bunch of people!
and yes, this actually works. given that you don't screw it up.
of course, demonstrating that you can make friends is not the only way of proving you are a dating candidate, but it is a really good one.
point is, you have to make her re-think your quality as a boyfriend, and this time you have to rank first. right now she thinks she has your personality pinned down, you must disrupt this by doing something she doesn't expect you would do, and it must be a positive change. that will make her brain go haywire and be forced to redefine your personality, and that's what you want.
ugh...life's too short to go through that much bullshit for a girl. "Look Susie! Look how many random people I can get to like me!" You have to become an actor, an entertainer, somewhat close to a clown to be liked by girls and random people in general. That's what you have to do if you want to have casual sex without sharing much with the other person. Quick wit and a ready smile is usually sufficient. It depends on how good the girl perceives she is. If you want to go for quality girls you have to invest a lot more. Of course there are ways to get girls easily, for example a progamer can easily get a fangirl even if he does everything wrong, but who would want someone with such a low value who is ready to surrender so easily?
Does the value matter that much if you're just after some casual sex? I might be missing the context here ^^
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On May 02 2013 21:04 marvellosity wrote:Show nested quote +On May 02 2013 21:00 aTnClouD wrote:On May 02 2013 20:56 marvellosity wrote:On May 02 2013 20:46 aTnClouD wrote:On May 02 2013 20:41 mufin wrote:
indeed, sounds like 100% friendzone. so here is how I understand it:
she likes you, but does not consider you as a candidate for dating.
you like her, and considers her a candidate for dating.
there are many, many paths that can lead to this situation, what all of them have in common is that she thinks she can choose and she feels like she can choose someone better than you.
what you need to do is demonstrate that that is false. there are 3 ways of doing that, the very wrong way, the wrong way and the right way. don't do the wrong way or the very wrong way.
the very wrong way: lower her self-esteem until she doesn't think she good enough for those other guys. this results in you potentially getting her, but due to her lowered self-esteem she will not be a high-quality girlfriend. both of you end up unhappy.
the wrong way: try to "out-alpha" the other people around her. basically if you are a douche then she will be "the one with the douchey friend" and both of you are alienated from everyone else, naturally you will be the only candidate for dating, though it is quite likely that she will just cut you off instead of cutting off everyone else. result: either you are "happy" (has the girl) and she is unhappy (stuck with a douche), or you are unhappy (branded as douche and alone) and she is happy (with her friends, having forgotten about you).
you might wonder why I started with the wrong ways, thats because the right way is much more difficult, and if you do the right way wrong, it might very easily revert to one of the worse ways. DON'T DO THAT! VERY IMPORTANT! DON'T BE A DOUCHE! DON'T MAKE HER FEEL BAD! it might sound obvious (and it is) but it is a common mistake to overcompensate for some kind of insecurity and end up being a douche, or making her feel bad.
the right way: both wrong ways have 1 thing in common, they reduce her candidates for dating until you are on top, the right way is the opposite, demonstrate that she misjudged you and that you are a prime candidate for dating, a good way of doing this is show her that you are good at making friends, either her friends or just random strangers neither of you knew before, point is to have her see you making new friends. the ability to make friends is very closely related to how many dating options you have, and when you do this you basically say (through your actions, you don't speak it out) "hey, you have a bunch of options, so do I, that makes me attractive and you want to date me." and hell! you might just find another girlfriend while making friends with a bunch of people!
and yes, this actually works. given that you don't screw it up.
of course, demonstrating that you can make friends is not the only way of proving you are a dating candidate, but it is a really good one.
point is, you have to make her re-think your quality as a boyfriend, and this time you have to rank first. right now she thinks she has your personality pinned down, you must disrupt this by doing something she doesn't expect you would do, and it must be a positive change. that will make her brain go haywire and be forced to redefine your personality, and that's what you want.
ugh...life's too short to go through that much bullshit for a girl. "Look Susie! Look how many random people I can get to like me!" You have to become an actor, an entertainer, somewhat close to a clown to be liked by girls and random people in general. That's what you have to do if you want to have casual sex without sharing much with the other person. Quick wit and a ready smile is usually sufficient. It depends on how good the girl perceives she is. If you want to go for quality girls you have to invest a lot more. Of course there are ways to get girls easily, for example a progamer can easily get a fangirl even if he does everything wrong, but who would want someone with such a low value who is ready to surrender so easily? Does the value matter that much if you're just after some casual sex? I might be missing the context here ^^
Would you really have sex with ANY cute girl you see, regardless of her personality? If you find out a super stunning beauty is stupid and uninteresting as a brick and you have nothing in common with her does she really deserve your sperm more than a girl who actively enjoys life and is in constant research to make it worth living? Personally if I find out a girl is retarded I wouldn't even touch her with a stick, and there's many out there (just as many as the men, but we aren't concerned with them sexually, so who cares)
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United Kingdom36161 Posts
On May 02 2013 21:11 aTnClouD wrote:Show nested quote +On May 02 2013 21:04 marvellosity wrote:On May 02 2013 21:00 aTnClouD wrote:On May 02 2013 20:56 marvellosity wrote:On May 02 2013 20:46 aTnClouD wrote:On May 02 2013 20:41 mufin wrote:
indeed, sounds like 100% friendzone. so here is how I understand it:
she likes you, but does not consider you as a candidate for dating.
you like her, and considers her a candidate for dating.
there are many, many paths that can lead to this situation, what all of them have in common is that she thinks she can choose and she feels like she can choose someone better than you.
what you need to do is demonstrate that that is false. there are 3 ways of doing that, the very wrong way, the wrong way and the right way. don't do the wrong way or the very wrong way.
the very wrong way: lower her self-esteem until she doesn't think she good enough for those other guys. this results in you potentially getting her, but due to her lowered self-esteem she will not be a high-quality girlfriend. both of you end up unhappy.
the wrong way: try to "out-alpha" the other people around her. basically if you are a douche then she will be "the one with the douchey friend" and both of you are alienated from everyone else, naturally you will be the only candidate for dating, though it is quite likely that she will just cut you off instead of cutting off everyone else. result: either you are "happy" (has the girl) and she is unhappy (stuck with a douche), or you are unhappy (branded as douche and alone) and she is happy (with her friends, having forgotten about you).
you might wonder why I started with the wrong ways, thats because the right way is much more difficult, and if you do the right way wrong, it might very easily revert to one of the worse ways. DON'T DO THAT! VERY IMPORTANT! DON'T BE A DOUCHE! DON'T MAKE HER FEEL BAD! it might sound obvious (and it is) but it is a common mistake to overcompensate for some kind of insecurity and end up being a douche, or making her feel bad.
the right way: both wrong ways have 1 thing in common, they reduce her candidates for dating until you are on top, the right way is the opposite, demonstrate that she misjudged you and that you are a prime candidate for dating, a good way of doing this is show her that you are good at making friends, either her friends or just random strangers neither of you knew before, point is to have her see you making new friends. the ability to make friends is very closely related to how many dating options you have, and when you do this you basically say (through your actions, you don't speak it out) "hey, you have a bunch of options, so do I, that makes me attractive and you want to date me." and hell! you might just find another girlfriend while making friends with a bunch of people!
and yes, this actually works. given that you don't screw it up.
of course, demonstrating that you can make friends is not the only way of proving you are a dating candidate, but it is a really good one.
point is, you have to make her re-think your quality as a boyfriend, and this time you have to rank first. right now she thinks she has your personality pinned down, you must disrupt this by doing something she doesn't expect you would do, and it must be a positive change. that will make her brain go haywire and be forced to redefine your personality, and that's what you want.
ugh...life's too short to go through that much bullshit for a girl. "Look Susie! Look how many random people I can get to like me!" You have to become an actor, an entertainer, somewhat close to a clown to be liked by girls and random people in general. That's what you have to do if you want to have casual sex without sharing much with the other person. Quick wit and a ready smile is usually sufficient. It depends on how good the girl perceives she is. If you want to go for quality girls you have to invest a lot more. Of course there are ways to get girls easily, for example a progamer can easily get a fangirl even if he does everything wrong, but who would want someone with such a low value who is ready to surrender so easily? Does the value matter that much if you're just after some casual sex? I might be missing the context here ^^ Would you really have sex with ANY cute girl you see, regardless of her personality? If you find out a super stunning beauty is stupid and uninteresting as a brick and you have nothing in common with her does she really deserve your sperm more than a girl who actively enjoys life and is in constant research to make it worth living? Personally if I find out a girl is retarded I wouldn't even touch her with a stick, and there's many out there (just as many as the men, but we aren't concerned with them sexually, so who cares)
No, but that's what alcohol is for.
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On May 02 2013 21:11 aTnClouD wrote:Show nested quote +On May 02 2013 21:04 marvellosity wrote:On May 02 2013 21:00 aTnClouD wrote:On May 02 2013 20:56 marvellosity wrote:On May 02 2013 20:46 aTnClouD wrote:On May 02 2013 20:41 mufin wrote:
indeed, sounds like 100% friendzone. so here is how I understand it:
she likes you, but does not consider you as a candidate for dating.
you like her, and considers her a candidate for dating.
there are many, many paths that can lead to this situation, what all of them have in common is that she thinks she can choose and she feels like she can choose someone better than you.
what you need to do is demonstrate that that is false. there are 3 ways of doing that, the very wrong way, the wrong way and the right way. don't do the wrong way or the very wrong way.
the very wrong way: lower her self-esteem until she doesn't think she good enough for those other guys. this results in you potentially getting her, but due to her lowered self-esteem she will not be a high-quality girlfriend. both of you end up unhappy.
the wrong way: try to "out-alpha" the other people around her. basically if you are a douche then she will be "the one with the douchey friend" and both of you are alienated from everyone else, naturally you will be the only candidate for dating, though it is quite likely that she will just cut you off instead of cutting off everyone else. result: either you are "happy" (has the girl) and she is unhappy (stuck with a douche), or you are unhappy (branded as douche and alone) and she is happy (with her friends, having forgotten about you).
you might wonder why I started with the wrong ways, thats because the right way is much more difficult, and if you do the right way wrong, it might very easily revert to one of the worse ways. DON'T DO THAT! VERY IMPORTANT! DON'T BE A DOUCHE! DON'T MAKE HER FEEL BAD! it might sound obvious (and it is) but it is a common mistake to overcompensate for some kind of insecurity and end up being a douche, or making her feel bad.
the right way: both wrong ways have 1 thing in common, they reduce her candidates for dating until you are on top, the right way is the opposite, demonstrate that she misjudged you and that you are a prime candidate for dating, a good way of doing this is show her that you are good at making friends, either her friends or just random strangers neither of you knew before, point is to have her see you making new friends. the ability to make friends is very closely related to how many dating options you have, and when you do this you basically say (through your actions, you don't speak it out) "hey, you have a bunch of options, so do I, that makes me attractive and you want to date me." and hell! you might just find another girlfriend while making friends with a bunch of people!
and yes, this actually works. given that you don't screw it up.
of course, demonstrating that you can make friends is not the only way of proving you are a dating candidate, but it is a really good one.
point is, you have to make her re-think your quality as a boyfriend, and this time you have to rank first. right now she thinks she has your personality pinned down, you must disrupt this by doing something she doesn't expect you would do, and it must be a positive change. that will make her brain go haywire and be forced to redefine your personality, and that's what you want.
ugh...life's too short to go through that much bullshit for a girl. "Look Susie! Look how many random people I can get to like me!" You have to become an actor, an entertainer, somewhat close to a clown to be liked by girls and random people in general. That's what you have to do if you want to have casual sex without sharing much with the other person. Quick wit and a ready smile is usually sufficient. It depends on how good the girl perceives she is. If you want to go for quality girls you have to invest a lot more. Of course there are ways to get girls easily, for example a progamer can easily get a fangirl even if he does everything wrong, but who would want someone with such a low value who is ready to surrender so easily? Does the value matter that much if you're just after some casual sex? I might be missing the context here ^^ Would you really have sex with ANY cute girl you see, regardless of her personality? If you find out a super stunning beauty is stupid and uninteresting as a brick and you have nothing in common with her does she really deserve your sperm more than a girl who actively enjoys life and is in constant research to make it worth living? Personally if I find out a girl is retarded I wouldn't even touch her with a stick, and there's many out there (just as many as the men, but we aren't concerned with them sexually, so who cares)
that makes no sense, if you are going for casual sex and nothing more (even if it is just friends), personality has almost nothing to do with it. Unless shes so extreme that it freaks you out somehow.
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