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On May 29 2011 11:36 zJayy962 wrote: I'm in a three year relationship and we haven't had sexual relations. I'm worried about bringing it up. Smash dem titties, you're a stallion.
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I enjoy listening to Die Antwoord in a twisted kind of way.
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On July 19 2011 14:12 Krohm wrote:Show nested quote +On May 29 2011 10:10 killa_robot wrote: Nearly everyone I have ever known has at one point asked me if I was gay, since I show little interest in actually dating girls (though I am straight).
I've been avoiding getting my license for 5 years, mainly because when I get behind the wheel I don't trust myself to not get carried away and start speeding/joy riding.
I used to over-analyze people when I talked to them when I was younger, as such I noticed they rarely actually cared about me and were more into talking about themselves so I tended to not talk about myself and in the end never got too close to anyone. Later in life now I just genuinely can't trust that people actually care about me and so am pretty distanced from everyone.
Sometimes when I listen to music I hear my name being called (it's faint but I notice it), but whenever I stop the music to see if someone is calling me no one is.
I have plenty of dreams and ambitions, yet I can't find the confidence to start most projects or tell anyone about any of them. My most achievable one is to go to Japan (I'm teaching myself Japanese right now) for about a year, and even though the university I'm going to go to in Sept offers Japanese courses (without it I doubt I'll actually learn enough to speak it properly) I find myself too embarrassed to admit I actually wanted to learn it and I fear I might get scared and miss the chance.
I always feel judged, as such I rarely express my true feelings/interests.
And now after reading all my confessions (and sadly this isn't all) I feel depressed at how pathetic I seem... You sound a lot like me when I was younger. I have a huge lack of interest in everyone including women, I'm really picky too which doesn't help. I over-analyze everything still to this day. My mind is just constantly thinking and playing out variables that could potentially happen with every situation I can think of dealing with little to big things. The music thing too, I don't really hear my name but I do hear people talking at times. I always felt judged as well but I grew out of that. One day I just realized that not many people are as judgmental as I am. They're too focused on themselves to notice me. Life has been a lot easier since that revelation. Anyway.... I'm pretty sure I have anti personality disorder. I feel like I lack the emotions that a "normal" person would have. The only reason I ever do anything for another person is if it's for self-gain. I'd like to say that bothers me but I would be lying. The only reason I ever feel any "bad" feelings as well is because that's how I should feel, but when I really reflect on it I actually don't care. I wouldn't necessarily say I'm a bad person either. Granted it has it's darker side, but I'd rather not get into those.
Hey, I'm pretty similar. I just don't really care about getting close to other people, and I don't think I will ever be able to trust and care about anyone as much as myself. From the times I have been in relationships, I've felt like they are just extremely tedious, and I become bored and increasingly fault-finding. I don't know what it is about my personality, but I don't get much out of human interaction; it's enervating for me, while other people--I guess--seem to benefit greatly. I don't want to be the way I am, but at the same time I just can't care enough to try to be different.
I can't stop thinking, and there's an endless dialogue in my head, which makes it hard for me to engage with other people. My greatest fear is that I will never know what someone else is truly thinking, and sometimes when I look other people in the eye, I feel like I'm peering into some kind of soulless depths; it's chilling and frightening, and I have a hard time grasping the concept of a completely distinct 'other,' to whom I might appear equally esoteric. This is not to say that I'm disconnected from the world, or some kind of sociopath; rather, I just have a very hard time being happy, and the first thing I ever notice in any thing is its most depressing qualities.
Now this might be a first world syndrome of upper middle-class suburbia, or it could be symptomatic of a larger, underlying psychological distress, but I'm afraid that I will listlessly traverse my lifetime with the same passionless and uninspired demeanor with which I regard my current situation. Oh, and another thing is that I get really caught up in my intellectualism, which is indicated by the shifts in tone evident throughout this post itself.
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Warning: opening this spoiler may cause you to be ill. + Show Spoiler +I don't seed my torrents.
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On July 19 2011 14:37 KimJongChill wrote:Show nested quote +On July 19 2011 14:12 Krohm wrote:On May 29 2011 10:10 killa_robot wrote: Nearly everyone I have ever known has at one point asked me if I was gay, since I show little interest in actually dating girls (though I am straight).
I've been avoiding getting my license for 5 years, mainly because when I get behind the wheel I don't trust myself to not get carried away and start speeding/joy riding.
I used to over-analyze people when I talked to them when I was younger, as such I noticed they rarely actually cared about me and were more into talking about themselves so I tended to not talk about myself and in the end never got too close to anyone. Later in life now I just genuinely can't trust that people actually care about me and so am pretty distanced from everyone.
Sometimes when I listen to music I hear my name being called (it's faint but I notice it), but whenever I stop the music to see if someone is calling me no one is.
I have plenty of dreams and ambitions, yet I can't find the confidence to start most projects or tell anyone about any of them. My most achievable one is to go to Japan (I'm teaching myself Japanese right now) for about a year, and even though the university I'm going to go to in Sept offers Japanese courses (without it I doubt I'll actually learn enough to speak it properly) I find myself too embarrassed to admit I actually wanted to learn it and I fear I might get scared and miss the chance.
I always feel judged, as such I rarely express my true feelings/interests.
And now after reading all my confessions (and sadly this isn't all) I feel depressed at how pathetic I seem... You sound a lot like me when I was younger. I have a huge lack of interest in everyone including women, I'm really picky too which doesn't help. I over-analyze everything still to this day. My mind is just constantly thinking and playing out variables that could potentially happen with every situation I can think of dealing with little to big things. The music thing too, I don't really hear my name but I do hear people talking at times. I always felt judged as well but I grew out of that. One day I just realized that not many people are as judgmental as I am. They're too focused on themselves to notice me. Life has been a lot easier since that revelation. Anyway.... I'm pretty sure I have anti personality disorder. I feel like I lack the emotions that a "normal" person would have. The only reason I ever do anything for another person is if it's for self-gain. I'd like to say that bothers me but I would be lying. The only reason I ever feel any "bad" feelings as well is because that's how I should feel, but when I really reflect on it I actually don't care. I wouldn't necessarily say I'm a bad person either. Granted it has it's darker side, but I'd rather not get into those. Hey, I'm pretty similar. I just don't really care about getting close to other people, and I don't think I will ever be able to trust and care about anyone as much as myself. From the times I have been in relationships, I've felt like they are just extremely tedious, and I become bored and increasingly fault-finding. I don't know what it is about my personality, but I don't get much out of human interaction; it's enervating for me, while other people--I guess--seem to benefit greatly. I don't want to be the way I am, but at the same time I just can't care enough to try to be different. I can't stop thinking, and there's an endless dialogue in my head, which makes it hard for me to engage with other people. My greatest fear is that I will never know what someone else is truly thinking, and sometimes when I look other people in the eye, I feel like I'm peering into some kind of soulless depths; it's chilling and frightening, and I have a hard time grasping the concept of a completely distinct 'other,' to whom I might appear equally esoteric. This is not to say that I'm disconnected from the world, or some kind of sociopath; rather, I just have a very hard time being happy, and the first thing I ever notice in any thing is its most depressing qualities. Now this might be a first world syndrome of upper middle-class suburbia, or it could be symptomatic of a larger, underlying psychological distress, but I'm afraid that I will listlessly traverse my lifetime with the same passionless and uninspired demeanor with which I regard my current situation. Oh, and another thing is that I get really caught up in my intellectualism, which is indicated by the shifts in tone evident throughout this post itself. should try meditation, I use to have alot of inner dialogue....It helped. But never knowing what someone is thinking.. how do u mean.. in like a paranoia sort of way? or just in general? people really aren't that complicated, you can get a strong idea what they're thinking with their body language.
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On July 19 2011 14:38 Konaa wrote:Warning: opening this spoiler may cause you to be ill. + Show Spoiler +I don't seed my torrents. That's why I only use what.cd and you get banned for being a leecher! SCUM! :p
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A few years ago I was in a relationship with this cute girl I met at church, we found each other after a few year's separation over Facebook, everything was going swimmingly until I tripped out on weed brownies during a phone call with her and told her to call 911 because I thought I was having a heartattack. An ambulance was actually called but thankfully they didn't take it seriously and just made a follow up call to me to confirm whether an ambulance was actually required and by that time I had calmed down. To this day I can't think back on it without cringing.
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I really want to get a girlfriend and I have had many girls talk to me, I'm just too afraid to ask them out in the fear of rejection. I realize they wouldn't be talking to me if they weren't interested, but still I always go limp at the last second. Maybe someday I will overcome this. 
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On July 19 2011 15:08 PerkyPenguin wrote:I really want to get a girlfriend and I have had many girls talk to me, I'm just too afraid to ask them out in the fear of rejection. I realize they wouldn't be talking to me if they weren't interested, but still I always go limp at the last second. Maybe someday I will overcome this.  First of all, a girl talking to you doesn't mean anything. And to help get over your nerves don't go right for the relationships, just ask a girl to keep you company while you get coffee in the morning or go to buy some headphones or something. Even go with a group
My confession: I have a door to the outside from my room and sometimes when I'm lazy, its late at night, and nature calls I saunter out and take a leak in my front yard.
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On July 19 2011 15:08 PerkyPenguin wrote:I really want to get a girlfriend and I have had many girls talk to me, I'm just too afraid to ask them out in the fear of rejection. I realize they wouldn't be talking to me if they weren't interested, but still I always go limp at the last second. Maybe someday I will overcome this.  Have no fear! The worst thing that could happen is that she says no but she'll still be willing to remain as friends more than likely. Don't have the concern to be rejected it happens to everyone it's just a part of life.
Edit: Confession: I can never make up my mind on things even if it's something important like picking classes for the next school term. T.T
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On May 29 2011 10:10 killa_robot wrote: Nearly everyone I have ever known has at one point asked me if I was gay, since I show little interest in actually dating girls (though I am straight).
I've been avoiding getting my license for 5 years, mainly because when I get behind the wheel I don't trust myself to not get carried away and start speeding/joy riding.
I used to over-analyze people when I talked to them when I was younger, as such I noticed they rarely actually cared about me and were more into talking about themselves so I tended to not talk about myself and in the end never got too close to anyone. Later in life now I just genuinely can't trust that people actually care about me and so am pretty distanced from everyone.
Sometimes when I listen to music I hear my name being called (it's faint but I notice it), but whenever I stop the music to see if someone is calling me no one is.
I have plenty of dreams and ambitions, yet I can't find the confidence to start most projects or tell anyone about any of them. My most achievable one is to go to Japan (I'm teaching myself Japanese right now) for about a year, and even though the university I'm going to go to in Sept offers Japanese courses (without it I doubt I'll actually learn enough to speak it properly) I find myself too embarrassed to admit I actually wanted to learn it and I fear I might get scared and miss the chance.
I always feel judged, as such I rarely express my true feelings/interests.
And now after reading all my confessions (and sadly this isn't all) I feel depressed at how pathetic I seem... Haha I can relate to everything U've said. Ive even had gay people hit on me, which turned realllllly awkward, though my conquest in the lady department is mostly a failure caused by incompatence rather then lack of interest. Im 28 and havent gotten my licence either, aint planning on getting it. hallucinations CHECK, failed goals CHECK.. but this is pretty shallow compared to the debts of my shame
Holy shit where should i start? forgive me father i have sinned?
Well I remember one time when i was supposed to take the buss home blackout drunk, when I instead antagonized a fight with a homeless guy, waking up in a loooong ass tunnel, outside an airport, like 2 hours opposite the direction I was supposed to go, losing my baggage and portable computer.
One time I woke up in a mall blackout drunk, inside a locked gate, with a sprained hand and no shoes. A guy locked me out in the morning, like it was the most normal thing in the world, and I had to walk to my girlfriends house in the winter and got a fever in the process.
Every single conversation with the Musicians I worship, has been such a awkward moment where I say stuff thats totally retarded. like I remember standing right next to Tom G Warrior badmouthing him while he stood right behind me, it was sort of hilarious at the time, but so fucking retarded.
Used to mix alchol with headache pills when I wasnt old enough to buy alchol in the store. Damn retarded, anything to get drunk
Shitloads of pointless damaging of property, smashing windows with my head and fist and stuff.
I once peed onto a window at a christian prayer house thing while i was drunk, not noticing that there people watching me inside, kids and stuff
I once stole a sheeps head from a mayhem concert out on the town, covered in blood and stench, getting thrown out everywhere, from bars and gass stations.
Being carried back to my quarters by a huge dude on a cruise ship, after being drunk and messing up a bingo game for old people.
Walking over to a table with lots of chicks to try and pick them up, only to sit down with them and fall asleep
Carving my arm pretty bad and deep with a bread knife in a party one time
Almost drove over an old couple on my moped, in a quick decision to do a jump
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I've lost interest in girls(im a guy) who aren't on my computer screen. I think it might have to do with my last relationship: + Show Spoiler +I'm 17 just now, gonna turn 18 in Sept 2011 this fall while in college. I have been in an on and off relationship with a girl for 3 years. It's been over for 6 months thankfully, and i've gotten over the pain(unlike a close friend who is going through the same thing now, but that's unrelated). about halfway throgh the 3 years in one of our longer on-stints, she came out and told me she was bi, and liked girls. I didn't really care, so long as it didnt affect teh relationship between her and myself. Fast forward through a few mini-breakups and back-togethers, she tells me that she's a lesbian, and that i'm basically keeping her from being her own girl. We still 'love' each other at this point, but since it's a long-distance thing, we finally agree to to have her talk to her dad about it, to see about a potential visit. no meant no, apparently, even though we had hid our relationship(s) for 3 years, so we had to break up. Later that night, she has sex with some girl, which is technically fine, but she wanted me to know for some reason. a few weeks later, she's slept with two other girls and is having relationship problems, and wants me to help. 'i still want to be friends' my ass. Now, she and i don't talk to each other at all, but, i'm kind of glad for it. I just feel so fucking useless and unwanted, and in general, i dont want to fucking go through that shit again. I dont want to be back on antidepressants like i have been since middle of junior year in high school up until a few months ago(makes me feel somewhat better that i dont need them anymore, but w/e). I just feel so fucking disinterested in dating chicks, or even (real)sex. Because then i would have to deal with feelings again. BRB, reposting this in the 'letting off steam' thread.
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it hit me by surprise, but now that I have became an adult (legally) + Show Spoiler +I am okay with watching gay porn once in a while for a change of pace -> I am interested in men?!!!
:O
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I shoved my pet cat into my microwave and turned it on for a while.
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On July 19 2011 16:49 Kamais_Ookin wrote: I shoved my pet cat into my microwave and turned it on for a while.
I love humanity.
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actually nevermind people i know might read this :p
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I'm finally starting to enjoy Kpop due to the ridiculous amount of it around the ESPORTS scene. I don't know how to feel about this. My past self would slap myself in the face.
+ Show Spoiler +But it's so catchyyyy, past self! You do not understand!
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