Personal Confessions - Page 13

On May 29 2011 11:36 zJayy962 wrote:
I'm in a three year relationship and we haven't had sexual relations. I'm worried about bringing it up.

On July 19 2011 14:12 Krohm wrote:


You sound a lot like me when I was younger. I have a huge lack of interest in everyone including women, I'm really picky too which doesn't help. I over-analyze everything still to this day. My mind is just constantly thinking and playing out variables that could potentially happen with every situation I can think of dealing with little to big things. The music thing too, I don't really hear my name but I do hear people talking at times.

I always felt judged as well but I grew out of that. One day I just realized that not many people are as judgmental as I am. They're too focused on themselves to notice me. Life has been a lot easier since that revelation.

Anyway....

I'm pretty sure I have anti personality disorder. I feel like I lack the emotions that a "normal" person would have. The only reason I ever do anything for another person is if it's for self-gain. I'd like to say that bothers me but I would be lying. The only reason I ever feel any "bad" feelings as well is because that's how I should feel, but when I really reflect on it I actually don't care. I wouldn't necessarily say I'm a bad person either.

Granted it has it's darker side, but I'd rather not get into those.

On July 19 2011 14:37 KimJongChill wrote:


Hey, I'm pretty similar. I just don't really care about getting close to other people, and I don't think I will ever be able to trust and care about anyone as much as myself. From the times I have been in relationships, I've felt like they are just extremely tedious, and I become bored and increasingly fault-finding. I don't know what it is about my personality, but I don't get much out of human interaction; it's enervating for me, while other people--I guess--seem to benefit greatly. I don't want to be the way I am, but at the same time I just can't care enough to try to be different.

I can't stop thinking, and there's an endless dialogue in my head, which makes it hard for me to engage with other people. My greatest fear is that I will never know what someone else is truly thinking, and sometimes when I look other people in the eye, I feel like I'm peering into some kind of soulless depths; it's chilling and frightening, and I have a hard time grasping the concept of a completely distinct 'other,' to whom I might appear equally esoteric. This is not to say that I'm disconnected from the world, or some kind of sociopath; rather, I just have a very hard time being happy, and the first thing I ever notice in any thing is its most depressing qualities.

Now this might be a first world syndrome of upper middle-class suburbia, or it could be symptomatic of a larger, underlying psychological distress, but I'm afraid that I will listlessly traverse my lifetime with the same passionless and uninspired demeanor with which I regard my current situation. Oh, and another thing is that I get really caught up in my intellectualism, which is indicated by the shifts in tone evident throughout this post itself.

On July 19 2011 14:38 Konaa wrote:
Warning: opening this spoiler may cause you to be ill.
+ Show Spoiler +

On July 19 2011 15:08 PerkyPenguin wrote:
I really want to get a girlfriend and I have had many girls talk to me, I'm just too afraid to ask them out in the fear of rejection. I realize they wouldn't be talking to me if they weren't interested, but still I always go limp at the last second. Maybe someday I will overcome this.

On July 19 2011 15:08 PerkyPenguin wrote:
I really want to get a girlfriend and I have had many girls talk to me, I'm just too afraid to ask them out in the fear of rejection. I realize they wouldn't be talking to me if they weren't interested, but still I always go limp at the last second. Maybe someday I will overcome this.

On May 29 2011 10:10 killa_robot wrote:
Nearly everyone I have ever known has at one point asked me if I was gay, since I show little interest in actually dating girls (though I am straight).

I've been avoiding getting my license for 5 years, mainly because when I get behind the wheel I don't trust myself to not get carried away and start speeding/joy riding.

I used to over-analyze people when I talked to them when I was younger, as such I noticed they rarely actually cared about me and were more into talking about themselves so I tended to not talk about myself and in the end never got too close to anyone. Later in life now I just genuinely can't trust that people actually care about me and so am pretty distanced from everyone.

Sometimes when I listen to music I hear my name being called (it's faint but I notice it), but whenever I stop the music to see if someone is calling me no one is.

I have plenty of dreams and ambitions, yet I can't find the confidence to start most projects or tell anyone about any of them. My most achievable one is to go to Japan (I'm teaching myself Japanese right now) for about a year, and even though the university I'm going to go to in Sept offers Japanese courses (without it I doubt I'll actually learn enough to speak it properly) I find myself too embarrassed to admit I actually wanted to learn it and I fear I might get scared and miss the chance.

I always feel judged, as such I rarely express my true feelings/interests.

And now after reading all my confessions (and sadly this isn't all) I feel depressed at how pathetic I seem...

On July 19 2011 16:49 Kamais_Ookin wrote:
I shoved my pet cat into my microwave and turned it on for a while.