EPTNow if many Asian parents are really, literally like what was described in the article, all I can say is that maybe I understand why that Korean kid started shooting people in that US school a while back.
Article: "Why Chinese mothers are superior." - Page 11
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targ
Malaysia445 Posts
Now if many Asian parents are really, literally like what was described in the article, all I can say is that maybe I understand why that Korean kid started shooting people in that US school a while back. | ||
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mIniAtURe
United States32 Posts
On January 09 2011 12:43 SpiritoftheTunA wrote: Well ideally you'd have learned all of that before reaching college; and ideally they'd have provided enough support such that it wasn't a terrible experience. My argument still stands: good Western parenting gives children both freedom and guidance, and it shouldn't be mostly on the child to figure everything out. But only parents with the perspective of growing up in the West can really understand how to guide well in every part of the process, whereas Chinese parents tend to care only about results. What happens when you have a child of average intelligence? With more lenient guidance, the child may not be as successful as some of the Chinese children that Chinese parenting has brought up. True, they may lack in some aspects, but for success and work, they've excelled their expectations. This way, Asian parents don't face the burden of having an unsuccessful child. Average white children may be happy, but they most likely will not be as successful as Asian children who have undergone rigorous learning methods as a child. Edit: In the end, it comes down to utility. Asians have a higher utility value on success and money, as opposed to White people, who have a lower value. This means that Asians will sacrifice more to achieve success and money, where White people will not work as hard for it. For example, if success is worth two points for Asians and one point for Whites, only Asian people would sacrifice one point of happiness to achieve two points later on. White people would think that is ridiculous. Asian children are not more intelligent than their White counterparts; they've only been raised to maximize their scholarly potential. | ||
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Licmyobelisk
Philippines3682 Posts
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mIniAtURe
United States32 Posts
On January 09 2011 12:56 Licmyobelisk wrote: lol bullshit, like that would make her "LULU" a damn millionaire.. skimmed through all the words in which he wanted her kid to learn an instrument.. pathetic, coming from an asian household they were pretty tight when i was in grade school, then started rebelling in high school but actually became a good student in college. It might not make her a millionaire, but it most likely prevents her from being a total failure. | ||
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beetlelisk
Poland2276 Posts
On January 09 2011 12:57 mIniAtURe wrote: It might not make her a millionaire, but it most likely prevents her from being a total failure. hahaha Is extremes the only thing you can operate with? Someone has to be either a failure or an engineer? Can you please elaborate how did your social interactions look like? Because I don't believe you would sacrifice true friendships unless your social life wasn't about friendship but wasting time with random kids. | ||
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BlueBird.
United States3890 Posts
if there was a best way to raise children, everyone would do it, and we would have it all figured out. The fact is, there is not a best way, every child is different, and every parent is different too. It is not my place to tell people how to raise their children, but this woman is doing it wrong, and the sad thing is, she is preaching it like she has worked some miracle, and she has the whole children success thing figured out. You only live once(imo, I guess we could be reincarnated).. go to sleep overs, play video games, get laid.. do what YOU want to do. If you want to have a successful job, grow up to be wealthy, sacrifice your entire childhood do it if you want, but that should never ever be a parents right to take that away and the fact is, some parents take it away just by brain washing their kids and telling them that's all that matters in life... which is really far from the truth. Kids will be kids, except this ladies and anyone else, no matter what race, who chooses to raise children like this, they are either unhappy, or brainwashed, and either way, they aren't themselves. Maybe im being a little idealistic, and brainwashed myself, I was brought up being told to do good in school, but have some fun and do what you want to do as well. I didn't do that well in school after Jr High School started, but at least I still mattered to my parents, thank whatever higher power there might be out there.. cause if my parents treated me the way this lady does in Jr High School.. I would never have made it through, they were all I had. | ||
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NrG.Bamboo
United States2756 Posts
On January 09 2011 10:48 Blisse wrote: That kid was just bad, sorry, or the parents did it wrong. Any kid who actually studies or focuses hard and well will turn out the same way, provided they don't have a mental disability. Any kid. And if he hung himself, that's just giving up. Why doesn't it work all the time then? Because the kid is not motivated to do it, since he is dreaming about his friends, and what else he could be doing rather than working. That's not called studying. He didn't try as hard as he could, he just didn't try. I have never known a person that sucked so badly that they couldn't grasp a concept if they actually tried. And I just realized you're not Chinese, so obvious you don't have the same approach, and obviously that's why your kids are or will be, on average, not as successful. It was the whole point of the article...? I'm an A+ student. I will annoy and bug my teacher if she gives me a 98 instead of a 99. I've done that on several occasions. And I'm perfectly fine with my life. I have friends. I'm up for valedictorian. I'm on several teams, and hopefully captain of one. My grade is my life, but why am I perfectly fine with it? Because it's fun doing work. It's fun doing work well. I don't understand why or how people can put the wrong answer on a test or whatnot, and be perfectly fine with that. The point is trying your best when it's obviously not your best. I love people who are trying their best, and then go out and party, drink, or otherwise not study, or study at the last second. Sorry, that's not trying your best. Everyone's best is 100%. Tell someone to study like a freak, the second they get home until they eat, and until they sleep and then write a no bull**** test, and I'll be damned if they don't get above 95%. Especially in high school. The difference is simple, some parents enforce that perfection is the child's best. Other parents allow them to settle for an obviously fake try-your-hardest best. Can you match the parent with the ethnicity? It's fantastic that you enjoy your life, but why is it so hard to understand those who can accept mediocrity? I would certainly rather have a child who was academically average but socially sound (this doesn't mean lazy, but just a more well-rounded person who does put forth effort) than an outstanding student without ever going out and partying once in a while. Also, not everybody is equipped to be the best, regardless of the work he/she puts in. | ||
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BLINKOFF
United States79 Posts
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shawster
Canada2485 Posts
sums it up pretty well | ||
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mIniAtURe
United States32 Posts
On January 09 2011 13:01 beetlelisk wrote: hahaha Is extremes the only thing you can operate with? Someone has to be either a failure or an engineer? Can you please elaborate how did your social interactions look like? Because I don't believe you would sacrifice true friendships unless your social life wasn't about friendship but wasting time with random kids. Sorry, I meant "failures" and "engineers" as complements. Or, "non-engineer-doctor-lawyer" and "engineer-doctor-lawyer" as opposed to failure and engineer. I do have friends other than my childhood friends, and I can still make more friends. Childhood is only 18 years of your 60+? year life... | ||
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chenchen
United States1136 Posts
No straight thinking "Chinese mother" would live through seeing her daughter marry a white dude. | ||
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kamikami
France1057 Posts
On January 09 2011 12:57 mIniAtURe wrote: It might not make her a millionaire, but it most likely prevents her from being a total failure. She will be a total failure just like her mother if she just follow the same approach as her mother. If my wife treat my kids like that, she will face a divorce, but that won't happen since only retards would marry this kind of woman. I'm Asian too. | ||
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mIniAtURe
United States32 Posts
On January 09 2011 13:06 Valentine wrote: It's fantastic that you enjoy your life, but why is it so hard to understand those who can accept mediocrity? I would certainly rather have a child who was academically average but socially sound (this doesn't mean lazy, but just a more well-rounded person who does put forth effort) than an outstanding student without ever going out and partying once and a while. Also, not everybody is equipped to be the best, regardless of the work he/she puts in. Why is it so hard to understand those who can't accept mediocrity? You may not want a brilliant-but-obviously-lacking child, but she sure does. And sure, everyone may not be equipped to be the best. No, everyone can't be the best at the same time. But everyone has the potential to be pretty close. | ||
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mIniAtURe
United States32 Posts
On January 09 2011 13:12 kamikami wrote: She will be a total failure just like her mother if she just follow the same approach as her mother. If my wife treat my kids like that, she will face a divorce, but that won't happen since only retards would marry this kind of woman. I'm Asian too. She's not a failure from a success standpoint. She clearly has a stable income and work, however much she lacks personality-wise. And besides, I'm sure SOMEBODY out there will like her child. Also, the mother isn't divorced yet. Somebody obviously does like her. | ||
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ILIVEFORAIUR
United States173 Posts
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shadymmj
1906 Posts
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dangots0ul
United States919 Posts
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LittleAtari
Jordan1090 Posts
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Kimaker
United States2131 Posts
So happy Yale Professors are such clever creatures...anecdotal evidence, never firmly establishing the limitations defining "superior", and then proceeding to waver her own parenting penis (her childrens' successes) around like it was the American Flag they planted at Iwo Jima. Do I think most Western Parents are too soft? Yes. Do I think this stereotype of an Asian parent is downright tyrannical? Sure as shit. In the end every human is different, and will react differently to alternate parenting styles. | ||
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beetlelisk
Poland2276 Posts
On January 09 2011 13:08 mIniAtURe wrote: Sorry, I meant "failures" and "engineers" as complements. Or, "non-engineer-doctor-lawyer" and "engineer-doctor-lawyer" as opposed to failure and engineer. I do have friends other than my childhood friends, and I can still make more friends. Childhood is only 18 years of your 60+? year life... I don't think this answers my question TBH. I think you didn't see your earlier posts as criticizing "western parenting style" because for you this is a belief, this is a fact. And it's hard for you to see it in any other way because you simply have never experienced it. And learning to learn is so hard for you now that the "Chinese mother" style seems to be the only thing that would work. At least to reach the "engineer-doctor-lawyer" degree. For me her way is inferior because it forces kid to get there instead of encouraging more. And the point is one can get there on his free will and still enjoy his life. At worst case scenario one will not become an engineer but will still choose something that he/she enjoys. And that's what is important and not how much one earns. "Chinese mother's" child worst case scenario is one dies before he has a chance to make any friends. Or kills her. Or maybe some other people. Only because she was too lazy and selfish to treat her child like a human being. | ||
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