EPTOn January 09 2011 13:13 mIniAtURe wrote:
Why is it so hard to understand those who can't accept mediocrity? You may not want a brilliant-but-obviously-lacking child, but she sure does.
And sure, everyone may not be equipped to be the best. No, everyone can't be the best at the same time. But everyone has the potential to be pretty close.
Show nested quote +
On January 09 2011 13:06 Valentine wrote:
It's fantastic that you enjoy your life, but why is it so hard to understand those who can accept mediocrity? I would certainly rather have a child who was academically average but socially sound (this doesn't mean lazy, but just a more well-rounded person who does put forth effort) than an outstanding student without ever going out and partying once and a while.
Also, not everybody is equipped to be the best, regardless of the work he/she puts in.
On January 09 2011 10:48 Blisse wrote:
That kid was just bad, sorry, or the parents did it wrong. Any kid who actually studies or focuses hard and well will turn out the same way, provided they don't have a mental disability. Any kid. And if he hung himself, that's just giving up.
Why doesn't it work all the time then? Because the kid is not motivated to do it, since he is dreaming about his friends, and what else he could be doing rather than working. That's not called studying. He didn't try as hard as he could, he just didn't try. I have never known a person that sucked so badly that they couldn't grasp a concept if they actually tried.
And I just realized you're not Chinese, so obvious you don't have the same approach, and obviously that's why your kids are or will be, on average, not as successful. It was the whole point of the article...?
I'm an A+ student. I will annoy and bug my teacher if she gives me a 98 instead of a 99. I've done that on several occasions. And I'm perfectly fine with my life. I have friends. I'm up for valedictorian. I'm on several teams, and hopefully captain of one. My grade is my life, but why am I perfectly fine with it?
Because it's fun doing work. It's fun doing work well. I don't understand why or how people can put the wrong answer on a test or whatnot, and be perfectly fine with that.
The point is trying your best when it's obviously not your best. I love people who are trying their best, and then go out and party, drink, or otherwise not study, or study at the last second. Sorry, that's not trying your best. Everyone's best is 100%. Tell someone to study like a freak, the second they get home until they eat, and until they sleep and then write a no bull**** test, and I'll be damned if they don't get above 95%. Especially in high school.
The difference is simple, some parents enforce that perfection is the child's best. Other parents allow them to settle for an obviously fake try-your-hardest best. Can you match the parent with the ethnicity?
On January 09 2011 10:19 G0dly wrote:
terrible article
I knew a kid whose chinese parents got pissed at him for not maintaining perfect grades. It's not that he didn't try - his parents forced him to study and he tried his best, but no matter he couldn't meet their standards. His parents called him stupid, they accused him of trying to disappoint them, they punished him by not letting him go to friends houses, go to movies, etc.
Eventually he straight up hung himself in school.
The best way is to have a balanced approach. Yes, you should establish a good work ethic - teach children to do their homework, to study, to get good grades, but also let them have some fun. Yelling at a child for getting an A- is ridiculous. I'd rather have a child who gets A- or B+ and has an active social life and friends as opposed to an A+ tryhard who studies/plays instruments all day and night.
addendum: in high school my parents didn't even check my grades. They give me complete independence and do not force me to study - I studied on my own and completed work on my own. When I was younger they taught me that learning was its own reward, that I should always try my best, and that it's important not to be lazy. I'm no genius, not valedictorian, but did get accepted into Cornell while still having fun in high school and maintaining an active social life.
There are a lot of kids in my school raised in the manner described in that article, and they hate their lives. They walk into class like zombies because they get 3-4 hours of sleep a night. They'll fight with the teacher over 3 points on a test because they got a 95 instead of a 98 (while I might be sitting in class happy with a 92). Their grades are their lives.
I say fuck that, go out and have some fun, you only fucking live once, you're only a kid once.
terrible article
I knew a kid whose chinese parents got pissed at him for not maintaining perfect grades. It's not that he didn't try - his parents forced him to study and he tried his best, but no matter he couldn't meet their standards. His parents called him stupid, they accused him of trying to disappoint them, they punished him by not letting him go to friends houses, go to movies, etc.
Eventually he straight up hung himself in school.
The best way is to have a balanced approach. Yes, you should establish a good work ethic - teach children to do their homework, to study, to get good grades, but also let them have some fun. Yelling at a child for getting an A- is ridiculous. I'd rather have a child who gets A- or B+ and has an active social life and friends as opposed to an A+ tryhard who studies/plays instruments all day and night.
addendum: in high school my parents didn't even check my grades. They give me complete independence and do not force me to study - I studied on my own and completed work on my own. When I was younger they taught me that learning was its own reward, that I should always try my best, and that it's important not to be lazy. I'm no genius, not valedictorian, but did get accepted into Cornell while still having fun in high school and maintaining an active social life.
There are a lot of kids in my school raised in the manner described in that article, and they hate their lives. They walk into class like zombies because they get 3-4 hours of sleep a night. They'll fight with the teacher over 3 points on a test because they got a 95 instead of a 98 (while I might be sitting in class happy with a 92). Their grades are their lives.
I say fuck that, go out and have some fun, you only fucking live once, you're only a kid once.
That kid was just bad, sorry, or the parents did it wrong. Any kid who actually studies or focuses hard and well will turn out the same way, provided they don't have a mental disability. Any kid. And if he hung himself, that's just giving up.
Why doesn't it work all the time then? Because the kid is not motivated to do it, since he is dreaming about his friends, and what else he could be doing rather than working. That's not called studying. He didn't try as hard as he could, he just didn't try. I have never known a person that sucked so badly that they couldn't grasp a concept if they actually tried.
And I just realized you're not Chinese, so obvious you don't have the same approach, and obviously that's why your kids are or will be, on average, not as successful. It was the whole point of the article...?
I'm an A+ student. I will annoy and bug my teacher if she gives me a 98 instead of a 99. I've done that on several occasions. And I'm perfectly fine with my life. I have friends. I'm up for valedictorian. I'm on several teams, and hopefully captain of one. My grade is my life, but why am I perfectly fine with it?
Because it's fun doing work. It's fun doing work well. I don't understand why or how people can put the wrong answer on a test or whatnot, and be perfectly fine with that.
The point is trying your best when it's obviously not your best. I love people who are trying their best, and then go out and party, drink, or otherwise not study, or study at the last second. Sorry, that's not trying your best. Everyone's best is 100%. Tell someone to study like a freak, the second they get home until they eat, and until they sleep and then write a no bull**** test, and I'll be damned if they don't get above 95%. Especially in high school.
The difference is simple, some parents enforce that perfection is the child's best. Other parents allow them to settle for an obviously fake try-your-hardest best. Can you match the parent with the ethnicity?
It's fantastic that you enjoy your life, but why is it so hard to understand those who can accept mediocrity? I would certainly rather have a child who was academically average but socially sound (this doesn't mean lazy, but just a more well-rounded person who does put forth effort) than an outstanding student without ever going out and partying once and a while.
Also, not everybody is equipped to be the best, regardless of the work he/she puts in.
Why is it so hard to understand those who can't accept mediocrity? You may not want a brilliant-but-obviously-lacking child, but she sure does.
And sure, everyone may not be equipped to be the best. No, everyone can't be the best at the same time. But everyone has the potential to be pretty close.
It isn't hard to understand, I thought it was pretty clear in the way my post was written.
