EPTArticle: "Why Chinese mothers are superior." - Page 14
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Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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furymonkey
New Zealand1587 Posts
People are stopping to realise that education is a luxury, there is alot people out there that wants education but couldn't. Back then, alot more teenagers need to work full time to even survive, now that some are forced to study it become inhumane? You should be thankful that you're allowed to do full time study. I would take strict educations over living on the street working all day just to buy food. Since when having alot of fun become a necessity? I'm not saying I agree with their method, but people need to realise the good life you get is hardwork of your parents and ancestors, and don't throw the word like inhumane around. Edit: Not to mention that you'll be free to do whatever you want when you're grown up. | ||
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ecaesar
Canada106 Posts
On January 09 2011 15:56 fearlessparagon wrote: But did your parents called you garbage and didn't let you pee until you knew how to play a piano song about a donkey? Yes, but it wasnt a song about a donkey. Was a song by Chopin: Fantasie Impromptu  | ||
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eecs4ever
United States106 Posts
no video games, wtf is she thinking? as we all know playing RTS like SC only enhances kid's performance by increasing their average APM in life, and helps with their multi-tasking skills | ||
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Broodwich
United States393 Posts
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Hautamaki
Canada1311 Posts
What she says is accurate in ideal cases. But it should also be noted that this method of parenting does not work on all children. Some kids are able to excel under that kind of constant pressure, but plenty of other kids crack. For every success story here there is also a story of rebellion, mental breakdown, or suicide. Every 'Chinese mother' expects their kid to be number 1, but there are 50 or 60 kids in a class and only one of them can be number 1. The other 59 are doomed to misery. And the lucky number 1? He/She is compared to the number 1 for the grade, the school, the district, the city, the province... it never ends. The other negative impact is that children don't grow up the same way western kids do. Children very often can't take care of themselves, do miserably in university (seriously Chinese university students are the worst students you will ever see in your life and if a Chinese engineer has to drive a taxi in Canada that's probably for the best because that's about all I would trust half the 'engineers' I've taught with. You can get your degree without ever showing up to a class in your life as long as you pay the tuition). Chinese students invariably get their real education on how to do their jobs only after they have actually started doing their jobs. In fact, most jobs will not pay you a salary for your first 6 months to a year because you will simply be getting the training you need to do that job. Obviously this varies a great deal depending on the major/profession but this is how it works in many cases, especially anything involving government/bureaucratic positions. The last thing that's wrong with this method of parenting is that while it raises good workers, it doesn't raise good leaders/managers. Right now the biggest problem hindering Chinese growth is the lack of management expertise that allows businesses to expand past a certain point. That point being the part where business owners have to hire and train people they aren't related to to important positions. Often times that transition breaks a growing and successful business because people are either corrupt, selfish, and incompetent, or lack all personal initiative and creativity for problem solving. There is a serious lack of competent management in China compared to the west and I think that this kind of parenting is in large part to blame. The bottom line is this: western kids DO oftentimes need to be forced to do things they don't want to do more often such as finishing their math homework and eating their vegetables and getting their exercise etc. But Chinese kids also need to be given more time to have unsupervised play time and socialization opportunities so they can develop other real life skills that will just as important to their future success and happiness as what they learn in the classroom. | ||
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Kimaker
United States2131 Posts
On January 09 2011 16:42 Hautamaki wrote: As a teacher in China I'm very familiar with this line of thinking/parenting. What she says is accurate in ideal cases. But it should also be noted that this method of parenting does not work on all children. Some kids are able to excel under that kind of constant pressure, but plenty of other kids crack. For every success story here there is also a story of rebellion, mental breakdown, or suicide. Every 'Chinese mother' expects their kid to be number 1, but there are 50 or 60 kids in a class and only one of them can be number 1. The other 59 are doomed to misery. And the lucky number 1? He/She is compared to the number 1 for the grade, the school, the district, the city, the province... it never ends. The other negative impact is that children don't grow up the same way western kids do. Children very often can't take care of themselves, do miserably in university (seriously Chinese university students are the worst students you will ever see in your life and if a Chinese engineer has to drive a taxi in Canada that's probably for the best because that's about all I would trust half the 'engineers' I've taught with. You can get your degree without ever showing up to a class in your life as long as you pay the tuition). Chinese students invariably get their real education on how to do their jobs only after they have actually started doing their jobs. In fact, most jobs will not pay you a salary for your first 6 months to a year because you will simply be getting the training you need to do that job. Obviously this varies a great deal depending on the major/profession but this is how it works in many cases, especially anything involving government/bureaucratic positions. The last thing that's wrong with this method of parenting is that while it raises good workers, it doesn't raise good leaders/managers. Right now the biggest problem hindering Chinese growth is the lack of management expertise that allows businesses to expand past a certain point. That point being the part where business owners have to hire and train people they aren't related to to important positions. Often times that transition breaks a growing and successful business because people are either corrupt, selfish, and incompetent, or lack all personal initiative and creativity for problem solving. There is a serious lack of competent management in China compared to the west and I think that this kind of parenting is in large part to blame. The bottom line is this: western kids DO oftentimes need to be forced to do things they don't want to do more often such as finishing their math homework and eating their vegetables and getting their exercise etc. But Chinese kids also need to be given more time to have unsupervised play time and socialization opportunities so they can develop other real life skills that will just as important to their future success and happiness as what they learn in the classroom. Great answer, and probably the best post I've read in this thread so far. If I may, what's your take on China's future economic endeavors given the trends in that nations children? You say they make good workers, but not good leaders, do you think they'll just overcome this through dumb luck and learning in the workplace, or will they use Western sources or leadership? The latter seems unlikely because of Chinese predilection toward ethnocentrism, but hey, ya never know. | ||
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Hautamaki
Canada1311 Posts
On January 09 2011 16:52 Kimaker wrote: Great answer, and probably the best post I've read in this thread so far. If I may, what's your take on China's future economic endeavors given the trends in that nations children? You say they make good workers, but not good leaders, do you think they'll just overcome this through dumb luck and learning in the workplace, or will they use Western sources or leadership? The latter seems unlikely because of Chinese predilection toward ethnocentrism, but hey, ya never know. Of all the nations on Earth I'd the Chinese are one of the least ethnocentric. They are very interested in learning from and adapting to other cultures. It's one of the main reasons they were a perennial world power; though they have been conquered many times, what invariably ended up happening is their conquerors were 'sinocized' as the Chinese learned from and adapted the strengths of their conquerors and gradually assimilated them into their culture. On a more practical note, I have been involved in training and exchanges with up-and-coming young Chinese business people who receive training on leadership skills here in China and are also sent on exchange programs to top business schools in America, Canada, Australia, and England. The Chinese are nothing if not aware of where they need to improve and focussed on doing so. Even small children are sent to foreigner taught English classes not just for English, but for the exposure to foreign culture/child rearing mores. Parents know that kids sent to one of my classes will not just get proper pronunciation training (which is hardly that important really) but more importantly will get training on teamwork and leadership skills and opportunities for creativity and problem solving skill development that they would not get in a classroom headed by a Chinese teacher. Also, it should be noted that Shanghai recently completely revamped their education system, have retrained virtually all their teachers and replaced the top adminsstrators. Their new motto is 'Every question must have more than one correct answer.' The emphasis, again, is on creative problem solving. And Shanghai just blew away the rest of the world in standardized testing in math, sciences, and language. Even perennial top countries like Finland, South Korea, and Singapore, were several percentage points behind the Shanghai kids (ages 15-16). What China is showing is that despite the fact that it is the world's largest country with the world's largest bureaucracy facing some of the world's most difficult problems, they still have the ability to change and adapt quickly to meet future needs. I'm putting my money (quite literally) on China in the 21st century. | ||
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We Are Here
Australia1810 Posts
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chenchen
United States1136 Posts
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DarthXX
Australia998 Posts
I just finished my last year at school a month ago. My group of friends had 6 people in it, and we took the top 6 spots (academically) of our year. Of these 6 people one of them had what this article calls "Chinese parents" She was very smart, at pretty much every subject but in the end took 2nd place, one of my other friends took 1st. The biggest difference between the two is one had totally loose parents, never forced him to do anything, but he was motivated to work hard, while the other was coerced. In my eyes you simply cannot equate coersion to motivation as this article does. She was also only alowed to attend birthday parties, but not any other social gathereing was allowed, she even had to get on MSN in secret every night just to talk to me. The other 5 of us went out most weekends to movies etc, yet this didn't seem to affect our grades at all, while she was denied a social life of any sort (which imo is a large part of being a kid) and didn't even take 1st place. Of course this is all anecdotal evidence, exactly what the article in the OP is, which by the way seems like a thinly veiled "my parenting methods are better than yours" rant. The piano story was especially heart-wrenching are her kids motivated by success, or by fear of serious repercussions? | ||
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RandomAccount#49059
United States2140 Posts
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Enderskmc
Canada110 Posts
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MiNiMuM
United States9 Posts
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Wire
United States494 Posts
it's people like these that make the headlines and establish the stereotypes. most asian parents in the western hemisphere are a fair balance of western and eastern values, with a higher tendency to be a little more strict. the author may appear to be fostering outward success, but she is definitely contributing to mental anguish and stunted psychological growth. kids who are not allowed to grow into their own individual beings end up socially inhibited and isolated. | ||
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GWBushJr
Canada35 Posts
and she's definitely whitewashed... probably doesn't speak canton... why the piano instead of teaching them how to practice usury... She named her child "Sophia".. or "Σοφíα"... or"Wisdom"... there's plenty more asian parents who don't force their kids to do something...and yet raise their kids pretty well | ||
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Pika Chu
Romania2510 Posts
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evanthebouncy!
United States12796 Posts
"That's something americans do right? It should be fun!!" "mom I don't have a date" "Get one! girls are passive you know!" <3 mom | ||
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evanthebouncy!
United States12796 Posts
Knows how to take exams and nothing else. Most of the times they're completely useless at doing work, and even in school at the later stage, say doing research, they become weak since they never think outside the box much. Chinese universities are largely crap since the students are pressured too hard in highschool to get into universities, once they're actually in them, they slack off and blow off the times. | ||
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dartoo
India2889 Posts
Lots of parent here cut-off internet connections, cable tv, prevent them from hanging out etc a month before exams. It all comes down to the individual, some people will not study when they are forced to do so, and might end up having very undesirable effects. If that lady is advocating her methods to be superior to other peoples parenting methods, it's just plain wrong. | ||
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