How to enjoy life? - Page 7

On November 15 2009 13:28 Wr3k wrote:
I've done the whole depression thing, and as you may already know, its overrated. It's good that you are trying to find hobbies and things you enjoy, but you have to realize that finding things that are fun to do only takes you so far towards finding happiness. You need to focus on being healthy, physically and mentally, as well as having an enjoyable lifestyle.

Not sure about the details of your life, but here is my advice:

***IMPORTANT***
Step 1: Get up at the same time every morning even if you feel like shit. Once you are up, DO SOMETHING. IDC what it is, starcraft, work, sex, croquet whatever. Also: get off the computer at least 10 hours before you need to wake up.
Step 2: Eat healthy, and do not eat 12 hours before you need to wake up.
Step 3: Get at least 30 mins of exercise every day, even if its just walking.
Step 4: Get some sunlight every day, it can be while you get your 30 mins of exercise.
***IMPORTANT***

Do steps 1-4 for at least 3-4 weeks, you will start getting a regular sleep cycle and start feeling more human. It's not going to make your depression go away entirely, but it will make a massive difference in your general mood. These 4 things had more of an effect on me than anti-depressants once I actually starting doing them regularly.

Step 5: Be honest with yourself. If you don't like hanging out with your friends do something else. If you get tired of a hobby get a new hobby. Don't convince yourself that you should be living your life a certain way. If you want something to change in your life, the only way its going to change is by your own doing. The world we live in is created for us by us. Don't make excuses for your life not being the way you want it to be.

Step 6: Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Let yourself feel your emotions good or bad. Recognize the way you feel, and don't tell yourself you shouldn't feel that way. Whether or not there is a rational reason for your emotions, they are there, and the only way to find a permanent solution to depression is by coming to terms with these emotions, and finding positivity. Happiness really does come from within, if you always bring yourself down with negativity, you are the only thing stopping yourself from being happy.

Step 7: Think about what you want to do with your life. Make a list of things you want to do. Write it down. I know its difficult to think about anything of the sort when you are depressed, but if you treat your body well, life is really quite a long adventure. You are only at the beginning, and the sooner you look at what you want in your future you will be able to see what you need for yourself now. Sure maybe you've been depressed for 4 years and are growing tired of it already, but have you really done everything you want to do on this planet? I highly doubt it. 4 years is a very small part of the average humans lifespan, so don't stress about it, you have lots of time to figure it out and be happy.

Step 8: Learn to be an optimist. I know you've heard it a thousand times, turn that frown upside down, look at the bright side of life etc. Honestly the retards who told you that can die in a fire, because they don't know what they are talking about. This part is not easy, it's not just about flicking a switch and magically being happy.

Here are the facts.

Life's a bitch an then you die.
Nobody knows the meaning of the universe, and its likely no one ever will.

That being said, would you rather enjoy your ambiguous mortal existence? Or would you rather be miserable the entire time? If you have any intelligence whatsoever you probably know the answer.

What it all boils down to, is a choice. Stop being a pussy and make it.

Once you've done that, figuring out the gritty details is called living.

"I don't think we're here for anything, we're just products of evolution. You can say 'Gee your life must be pretty bleak if you don't think there's a purpose,' but I'm anticipating a good lunch." -James Watson

On November 16 2009 05:33 r.Evo wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +


This.

Just requoting, because it is the best advise in this thread so far.


First, just to get you a medical perspective back in mind, there -ARE- cases of depression where you just -need- medication. Don't ignore this fact and realize that it would not be bad if that would be the case. In case you have prejudices here: Talk to someone with a medical background, but someone you can connect with please. (TL Manpower anyone?) ... Personally, knowing that a lot of the "omg psychotropic drugs omgomg evil omg" bullcrap you hear out there is simply not true would have helped me a lot a few years ago.

edit: Foucault vs Mora is some posts above mine. I'll leave the matter to those guys here, the statement above is the information I gathered personally, but those two seem more qualified here.


The main however that I'm seeing here (and also my main reason for responding) is, that most people (including yourself) are just scratching the surface here. What you deceive as your main problem ("I dont want to feel constantly bored, frustrated, sad or tired") is not a problem. It's an effect. Trying to fix that via trying things which make you feel excited, happy etc. is what comes to mind first, but it's your personal frame of the world which makes you not enjoy things.

[Before I start this I have to tell that I really, really love that you've already taken the first steps which is admitting the problem and the idea that you should do something about it. Even if this post might sound harsh at times, I'll just go ahead and try to make you conscious about your frame.]


I'll quote some of your posts and sentences in this thread to give you an idea where I think would be the REAL place to start fixing this stuff. It actually starts with getting rid of the word of "fixing".




You're not asking why people enjoy life. You're asking which stuff people enjoy doing.




Here's a huge point. Even though I'm sure 90% of the people here would have used words like "winning" and "losing" to describe this, you didn't. You talk about "leading" and "getting set back". To put your sentence into simple language you stated: I don't care if I'm winning, but if I lose I curl up and die.

That's pretty drastic in my opinion. Try to get aware that the problem is not "everything competetive sucks" (most people would have said "I don't like competetive stuff") the problem is that you don't care about winning and have a huge fear of losing.




This sentence is perfect to reflect your mindset. You expect things from the outside to give you "kicks or chills". ... Try and think about that for a second, we'll get back to it.



I'm now going to tear apart a few of your statements to rattle the cage a little, afterwards I'll get to some ideas and concepts how to get out of there.

... It would be "nice" to have a gf? It would be nice to be A+ at SC, it would be nice to have more money than bill gates and it would be nice to be the man women love. I guess, it would be nice to enjoy life, too, right? ... That concept doesn't get you anywhere. What do you want? - You have to get clear ideas of that.


... See what you did there? I see it so clear since I've been there about half a year ago. You don't want to do parkour. You don't want to say that. You're trying to suggest the reader in an evading language ("nice idea" / "quite bad architecture") that you're not fucking interested in it. ... If you would WANT something, you'd do something about it.


Oh. This one is perfect as well. Try and read what you actually wrote there. I'll highlight the important parts.



You get mentally shattered over losing a game. That's not as bad as "but if i get set back i simply curl up and die", but, still. You get where I'm going at now, right?

The next thing is HUGE: Mister, there is a problem (aka being mentally shattered about losing a game) and you "cant really help it". Terrible feeling, isn't it? Guess what: You can help it. You don't want to. You decide to pick the easy way out by lining up with the people who say things like... "Well, I don't like the relationship I'm in. But I just can't help it." ... "I hate my job but I can't help it." ... "I'd love to fuck a gorgeous women instead of playing stacraft but, hey, what can you do?"

Guess what? They could. They don't want to. They are not able to admit the thought process which goes like:

Current situation: I don't feel good in my current relationship.
Concept of the world: I'd like to feel good in my relationship.
Conclusion: I HAVE TO FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Telling your environment that you don't have something you want means admitting you are not where you want. Saying "I can't help it" is an easy way of getting approval from the people around you. ... People nod, tell you "Oh, I understand. That's pretty bad.", you answer with "yeah, kinda sucks". ... Guess what changes? Nothing. They'll continue to live a dull live they don't like. gg no re.


Each and every single one of your posts is full of statements like the ones above. ... Task #1 for you to get out of there: Find more of those. Become aware of what you really say. You're hiding a shit load of stuff. From you and everyone else.


"So, how do get to enjoy life?" ... Do'h! Wrong! "How do I change my perception of life?" is the real question. =)

A concept I love here is from Hypnotica (those who are a bit into pickup might recognize the name).

First, you have your environment.
Then there's the bullshit-box of all the stuff you experienced.
THEN comes your perception of your environment.

So, an input comes from outside, goes through our personal bullshit-box and then we get something out of there which is our personal reality.

To put it simple: Your bullshit-box is fucked up. When you get input you first think about how you can't realize it. For the cases where you pushed through here and STILL tried (which is awesome btw.)... you focussed on all the negative things attached to it, giving them the most value in the process. Then you realize the "whole thing is bad/boring/depressing" and don't like it anymore.

It's about half full vs half empty here. Sorry, to state it in your language: It's about "Has kinda some water in it" vs "I would say that the amount of water in there is not optimal at all and therefor you have to call it pretty empty".
/irony off.



What's going to work to make your life more exciting and enjoyable? I have no idea. It's your fucking life. Not mine. But I'll tell you some cool things which worked for me:

http://www.timetostand.com/viewvideo.htm ... Those four videos are gold. The person is gold. Yes, I'm a fanboy - and I can say just his videos/audios helped me most from all input I got. Feel free to google around and find more of his videos.

Setting priorities. Say "Yes" or "No". Which person seems to have more character? Someone who doesn't care if its Rock or Hip-Hop or who likes beer just as wine or who likes fat girls just like slim girls? Rather be a rock-loving hip-hop-hating, wineloving, beerhating embracer of slim girls who hates fat girls. Make choices.

Working on my language. Getting aware of the stuff I'm saying. Getting rid of "I don't have time for.." .. "I can't do..." ... and being honest about it and saying "I don't want to." ... Be carefull though, telling your girlfriend that you don't want to spend time with her right now since spending time with your best buddy has a higher priority right now might get you into some kind of shitfest. Realize your priorities and be honest about them. e.g. right now your priority is to read this huge post. You're not partying. You're not meeting people. You're not having sex (at least I hope that), you're not playing starcraft and on and on. AND ITS FUCKING OKAY TO SET THAT PRIORITY. ... Hell, it's even okay to play WoW 18/7. If that person choses to, it's his choice. Maybe get some ideas into his mind about what else he could do, but, hey, leave him. It's his choice.


When someone suggests you to do this or that, catch yourself thinking "Yeah, but..", hell stop mid-sentence when it comes out of your mouth (and I know it will) AND SLAP YOURSELF RIGHT THEN AND THERE.

Whenever you get a "Uh, yeah, that sucks for you." / "You poor thing" etc. blabla. response. Slap yourself even harder. You just asked someone to pity your for your situation, to strengthen your personal pity-party believes by getting approval for it and therefore keeping the way you are.


Two quotes to sum all this up:

“If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten.”

And...


Be mindful of your thoughts
For they become words.

Be mindful of your words,
For they become actions.

Be mindful of your actions,
For they become your habits.

Be mindful of your habits,
For they become your character.

Be mindful of your character,
For it becomes your fate.



My personal advice: Awareness. More awareness. Oh, and read kennigets pickup threads. =P

PS: I want some kind of "this user has written x-words"-systems instead of postcounts. 8)


Good luck, mate. You can do it. =)