I'm depressed, been on meds and psychiatrist for almost 2 years, still feeling like crab all the time.
Im figuring out, what are the stuff you enjoy doing? i'll give a list of different hobbies ive tried, but theyve left me cold.
Poker Starcraft (and alot of other computer games) Chess Soccer Icehockey Floorball Tennis Gym/jogging Reading/writing Drawing Cooking blacksmithing .. thats all that comes to mind right now.
I havent been enjoying social activities either for few years.. hell its over 4 years since the last time i had girlfriend. Its not that i havent tried, i just cant figure anything interesting to chat about.. talking has become awkward even with my friends.
Everything competitive sucks horribly.. i dont mind if im leading, but if i get set back i simply curl up and die, losing all interest to even try.
I've done some drugs and alcohol but they're not giving any kicks or chills anymore.
So.. How to enjoy life ? I dont want to feel constantly bored, frustrated, sad or tired
On November 15 2009 10:54 EscPlan9 wrote: See a professional.
Did you even read the post? If so, please try again!
To OP - do you have any interests or dreams at all? If so, what are they? (Doesn't matter how silly or unrealistic they seem to you at this point)
As hobbies I enjoy a lot of the things you've tried (Chess, tennis, anime, cooking, Judo). My studies make up the core of my existence right now, which I find very interesting and will hopefully fuel my future.
No, i dont recall having any dreams.. Well now that i think about it, a gf would be nice.. But its not like i havent been trying to achieve that allready.
What on earth is starting strenght, i guess ill google it up *edit, sounds like gym to me, been there done that :/ still doing actually
Looking at stars, the universe is amazing Watching Birds, Butterflies, things like that, appreciating other life. Racquetball Going for a walk in nice areas, a nice park for example. Going to the farmer's market is enjoyable to me, fresh food is something to appreciate. Fishing
you gotta have a life to enjoy life and appreciate it, experience new things. good luck hope you find something.
Edit: if your one of those people who find it hard to get excited maybe you need something like skydiving :D, I would also say you need to be content with yourself before you try getting a gf, be happy and confident with yourself.
On November 15 2009 10:59 suxN wrote: No, i dont recall having any dreams.. Well now that i think about it, a gf would be nice.. But its not like i havent been trying to achieve that allready.
What on earth is starting strenght, i guess ill google it up *edit, sounds like gym to me, been there done that :/ still doing actually
No dreams? None? List everything you've ever found cool or interesting in any way.
By the way - no one ever enjoys hobbies/pursuits at every single moment. Some things that are particularly enjoyable in some moments, such as learning an instrument or learning to sing well, are incredibly tedious at others due to the need to practice diligently. Are you sure you're not mistaking momentary laziness for disinterest? Pick something you find cool and stick with it and be very disciplined, and try to make appreciable progress before you determine you don't like it.
Also, while music lessons may be expensive, you can definitely make a lot of progress on your own even if you can only afford occasional lessons, and it can still be very enjoyable.
You should make sure to be active, jogging/gym/inline skates/whatever 3times a week minimum. That will
a) keep your mood higher b) get your body in better shape thus b1) feel much better about yourself b2) being perceived as more handsome guy c) keep you occupied
Dude, just be way more social. Make lots of friends and get a girlfriend. Set a goal for yourself and work your way to achieving it. Have a purpose in life that is greater than what you do day to day. Find yourself a hobby or two that gives you a positive feeling or an adrenaline rush, like surfing or mountain biking. Just go out there and try everything.
On November 15 2009 11:03 suxN wrote: Parkour seems like a nice idea, too bad the town i live in has quite bad architecture for it.
I have tried guitar, unless it differs heavily from piano, im gonna skip it since it costs quite a penny.
Damn...that can take the appeal away pretty quickly. I play guitar as well, and over time as I got bored with just playing I taught myself how to build by own effects pedals, and do crazy mods to guitars. So maybe that's an avenue you could take, or use a similar mentality. Take something you already know how to do, and make it innovative or crazy like me
Staring at the stars makes me mostly think about how worthless our planet and life in general is, dont really enjoy that too much.
Watching animals do their daily business is pretty enjoyable, i admit that.. not enjoying the birds and butterflies though, i like more of squirrels, hedgehogs, cats and other cute fellows.
Walking in nice areas.. well i do jog regularily, but am not really enjoying that.. beats sitting in bed anyday.
Call me emo but i dont really want to kill fish for shits and giggles, i rather sit knee deep on a dock and let the fishies explore my ever amazing legs.
Fresh food.. well i am at chef school so i get that allright.
On November 15 2009 11:07 Hyperbola wrote: Dude, just be way more social. Make lots of friends and get a girlfriend. Set a goal for yourself and work your way to achieving it. Have a purpose in life that is greater than what you do day to day. Find yourself a hobby or two that gives you a positive feeling or an adrenaline rush, like surfing or mountain biking. Just go out there and try everything.
It would definitely be interesting to see how you respond to some of the aforementioned sports. I remember hearing somewhere that some adrenaline junkies may be hormonally deficient? Not sure what the basis for that was, but it's worth trying it out.
Also - have you talked to your psychiatrist about phasing out of your meds? From what I've heard, the science behind them (specifically their correlation to actual psychiatric conditions) is not completely understood (if someone knows differently please say so!), and as such maybe they aren't going to work for everyone.
Yeah dude start parkour. It really makes you feel alive (and scared shitless) when you run. Who cares if your architecture is "bad". Build your style around your surroundings. Some moves that aren't normally used might work very well for you and the normal vaults like the kong might be really unpractical for you. Blacksmithing? how'd you get started on that?
so he posted like 10 different hobbies/activities and he is not happy and didnt find fulfillment in any of those (what a surprise), yet you people suggest him other new activities, yeah because joy and happiness is found in your hobbies!
On November 15 2009 11:15 baal wrote: so he posted like 10 different hobbies/activities and he is not happy and didnt find fulfillment in any of those (what a surprise), yet you people suggest him other new activities, yeah because joy and happiness is found in your hobbies!
It's actually your relationships with other people that make you feel happy or depressed. As someone said: "Money brings comfort but love brings happiness".
On November 15 2009 11:12 suxN wrote: Staring at the stars makes me mostly think about how worthless our planet and life in general is, dont really enjoy that too much.
Watching animals do their daily business is pretty enjoyable, i admit that.. not enjoying the birds and butterflies though, i like more of squirrels, hedgehogs, cats and other cute fellows.
Walking in nice areas.. well i do jog regularily, but am not really enjoying that.. beats sitting in bed anyday.
Call me emo but i dont really want to kill fish for shits and giggles, i rather sit knee deep on a dock and let the fishies explore my ever amazing legs.
Fresh food.. well i am at chef school so i get that allright.
Worthless according to whom? I like it... Even if there are many other worlds with similarly complex environments (this possibility alone is a reason to be excited by the stars), ours is still pretty cool.
Baal you sound pretty negative - did you read every post carefully? Is that really all you saw? Even if no one else is actually helping, do you think you are?
"By the way - no one ever enjoys hobbies/pursuits at every single moment." - Well i hardly enjoy anything ever, its more of matter which sucks more, sitting home scratching balls or actually doing something.
"You should make sure to be active, jogging/gym/inline skates/whatever 3times a week minimum." - Yup, doing that, im in decent shape actually.
"Incidentally, what is your iccup high rank?" I havent played starcraft since pgTour, was steady c+ back then.
"No dreams? None? List everything you've ever found cool or interesting in any way. " - As a kid i used to think being good at sports/games is cool, these days i just get mentally shattered if i lose, cant really help it.. besides im not thinking its that cool anyways. Currently i dont really see cool stuff anywhere, just feeling like people enjoying themselves at something are jackasses.
Man, depression is the hardest thing to deal with in the world.
Do you go out much or see your friends regularly? When I've been really close to the edge in the past I found that trying to force myself to live a "normal" life was one of the best ways to deal with it. You make yourself go out clubbing and make yourself be sociable, and you'll think you're awkward and that everyone can see through you, but it's remarkable how much it can break you out of your shell and make you feel worlds better.
Anyways, not to make this all about me lol, but here's some of the stuff I've done in the past to try and deal with it:
- Learn a language. Very productive, pretty easy to do with free online resources or stuff you can get from your local library, and incredibly rewarding.
- Find a competitive game and get really good at it. Or anything really, and get really good at it. Having something to focus on that lets you maybe be by yourself without making you feel that you're wasting your time is great.
- If you have school work like essays, reports, tests, etc, try focusing huge amounts of time and effort on them. a) it makes them more fun to do b) you get better grades c) it gives you something to focus on and be happy with once you achieve.
But then I don't really know if this is just down to the way I like to do things or not, it might be very different for you, but improving your studies and doing them well can really make you feel alot more confident and at ease with school, particularly if you happen to be the type to stress hardcore when you have exams.
Particular things to try?
- Cooking - Read more, read Confederacy of Dunces if you never have. - Watch films with friends, weird ones. - Stop eating junk. Fresh vegetable diets make you feel worlds better than living on grease and crap. - Work out more? I dunno, I exercise but I've never really "worked out" before... - Get a job. Job's will almost never make you any more depressed than you already are, and they can fill what can feel to be very empty days.
- For gods sake try and find someone you can talk to about this stuff. If you don't even speak to your family about this, it can really mess with you. Psychiatrists don't really count.
A friend of mine said to me once that there are two ways of looking at things in life. Theres a dark way and a light way. Depression is when everything is dark. So regardless of how bad things are, just try and remember that theres always a different way of looking at things, and don't do anything silly.
Anyways, somewhat long post, hope I didn't drift from the point too much :p
On November 15 2009 11:21 suxN wrote: Currently i dont really see cool stuff anywhere, just feeling like people enjoying themselves at something are jackasses.
I agree with my predecessors in that sports and social interaction are definitely the way to go here. However, I am aware that it's not easy to change ones habits on a whim. I found that large changes in your life can start or accelerate such processes. I don't know what your current situation is, but there are plenty of ways to make a clear cut. For example, moving to a place that isn't dark six months might help Exaggerated, of course, but seriously... If you have the chance to live in another country for some time, be it in an exchange program, or an internship, meeting new people and adjusting to another culture may give you a new start. And it would solve the parkour problem too...
Also, you said you read for a hobby? What did you read? There are many people that dealt with what you have to deal with now, in different ways and on different levels. Be it philosophers or rock stars, many people have searched for some purpose to their life and usually that was directly related to their wellbeing You just have to find something or someone to relate to, interact with and learn from the people in these books until you find it satisfactory to interact with real people again...
Also quoting, say classical literature, is a great way to pick up girls, especially when combined with deep, melancholic looks. :-p
Im not trolling, honestly when i walk around somewhere and see some dudes being all cool and happy i get envious and consider them idiots for enjoying something i cant.. Dunno better way to explain it
"Also, you said you read for a hobby? What did you read?" Fantasy (forgotten realms, LOTR) Some book vs movie stuff (dracula, interview with a vampire and harrypotters ..) comedies (some finnish ones about drinking and fucking) horror (stephen king mostly) some educational books, mostly about history life stories (pamela anderson, few rock stars)
currently im reading catch-22
edit: Yeah, i think im getting "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience" next, thanks for the idea
From reading your post suxN, it seems like you may be more depressed because of a possible lack in human interaction.
All of your hobbies seem to be somewhat solitary. I know it may be tough, but really any human interaction, even if it begins with hanging out with strictly family at first, is good for your mental health.
I went through the same thing when I was younger, and still experience the same feelings from time to time. I am somewhat quiet at school, and while I am not off putting or pushing people away, I am still more of an introvert.
However, over the last couple years, I have realized how important human interaction truly is. It is usually no more than 1-2 times a week, but I have come to enjoy it, and even look forward to it.
Don't feel obligated to drink or do anything you do not want to do. Just hang out with some friends, or find some like-minded people you can enjoy some free time with. Maybe even find a girlfriend.
On November 15 2009 10:52 suxN wrote: I'm depressed, been on meds and psychiatrist for almost 2 years, still feeling like crab all the time.
Im figuring out, what are the stuff you enjoy doing? i'll give a list of different hobbies ive tried, but theyve left me cold.
Poker Starcraft (and alot of other computer games) Chess Soccer Icehockey Floorball Tennis Gym/jogging Reading/writing Drawing Cooking blacksmithing .. thats all that comes to mind right now.
I havent been enjoying social activities either for few years.. hell its over 4 years since the last time i had girlfriend. Its not that i havent tried, i just cant figure anything interesting to chat about.. talking has become awkward even with my friends.
Everything competitive sucks horribly.. i dont mind if im leading, but if i get set back i simply curl up and die, losing all interest to even try.
I've done some drugs and alcohol but they're not giving any kicks or chills anymore.
So.. How to enjoy life ? I dont want to feel constantly bored, frustrated, sad or tired
Time for a girlfriend:D,don't worry bud all you need is to be "cool".... lol
honestly if you haven't had any luck dating then maybe you should try a dating website.
plentyoffish.com is free if you don't want to pay. (not sure if theres people in Finland there, but i'm sure theres some site you could find)
i went through this for....1.5 years and what finally got me out of it was breaking up with my girlfriend at the time and moving away from everything i owned. it really made me realize what i had back at home.
i took everything for granted and didn't know what i wanted to do with my life. now me and the girl i left are married and have been very happy since i came back.
not saying that you have to do something really drastic but maybe a big change would help you get a hold of what you want from your life.
To be honest i don't think u'll get much help here. Just throwing aroung new hobbies doesn't sound to work for you atm.
If you have been to a psychiatrist then u probably are aware of reasons to your depression, those are what u need to work on. These things are never easy, what we usually do is rationalising our problems away from us. What works for me is rationalising right back at it. If a part of you is working against you and your pursuit of happiness, then declare war. Write a letter to it. If it's making up lies to keep you unhappy, make up lies to make face them.
If you don't see any point in trying. If you don't value happiness at all atm, then remember the times when u did. Look at everything optimistic. No matter how bad shit's been you can always get back on track.
This might not make sense to anyone at all, but it's from my own experiences with dealing with deppressions, since psychiatrists don't seem to help here I am.
/someone believing you will recover, and knowing u can.
"From reading your post suxN, it seems like you may be more depressed because of a possible lack in human interaction. " - Quite possible, however cant seem to find the catch in these social situations, i come up, i stand there looking silly, hardly ever hearing anything that interests me. Same thing goes the otherway around, when im saying something, others arent interested.
I have been trying to solve this by getting somesort of activity while being social.. like floorball, you dont have to stand stupid when you dont have anything to say, you can play.
On November 15 2009 11:57 iamho wrote: doesnt the lack of sunlight cause a lot of depression in Scandinavia? you can try moving down to somewhere with a better environment
i've heard thats why some people get "winter depression" because the lack of sunlight and the sun is a lot weaker.
if you think this might have an effect on you it wouldn't hurt to invest in some of the lamps that are "real sunlight"
they're pretty cheap ~$20 where i live (canada)
i too know you can break this and once you do everything will be amazing again!
if you ever need advise feel free to PM me whenever and i'll try to give the best i can from my experience with depression.
"Doesnt the lack of sunlight cause a lot of depression in Scandinavia?" Yeah it does, and now happens to be the darkest time since there isnt even snow to light things up. However i dont feel much better during summers.
Do you have a job? If not then get one. The less time you have to sit around dwelling on how bored you are the less you will be angry with life. Also jobs introduce you to new people and different personalities.
Do volunteer work. Most cities have volunteer rescue squads, fire departments, and even police cadet programs. Either one of those would be an awesome experience where you will grow a bond with an entire team of people.
Hell, you can even join the military if you want to take drastic measures. There's nothing like flipping your life upside down in an effort to reinvent yourself or discover new things you enjoy. A sense of pride might be just thing you are looking for.
On November 15 2009 11:57 iamho wrote: doesnt the lack of sunlight cause a lot of depression in Scandinavia? you can try moving down to somewhere with a better environment
i've heard thats why some people get "winter depression" because the lack of sunlight and the sun is a lot weaker.
if you think this might have an effect on you it wouldn't hurt to invest in some of the lamps that are "real sunlight"
they're pretty cheap ~$20 where i live (canada)
i too know you can break this and once you do everything will be amazing again!
if you ever need advise feel free to PM me whenever and i'll try to give the best i can from my experience with depression.
It's called SAD, Seasonal affective disorder
winter pisses me off because of this. i have to wake up when it's dark at 7 in the morning, stay indoors the entire day, then when I leave school at like 4 or 5 it's pitch black again sad =(
In finland army is mandatory, during there they figured im depressed ( i didnt even notice it myself ). And i didnt really create a bond with anyone there. Sense of pride might be good for me, too bad thats one of those things you dont feel in army. Im too old to start at local fire department (they train kids and teenagers, there isnt really anything for newbie adults). Then theres red cross, i really dont know anything about it, could be worth a shot.
I dont have a job but im at school, its definately good to have something to do regularily instead of dwelling with boredness.
Think you gotta think out of the box here. Do something drastic. Take a flight to South America and tour for 3 months with some travel agency aimed at singles. Meet people, explore new areas, try all the new things a place like that has to offer and definitely have a sense that you have all the freedom in the world.
On November 15 2009 12:05 Frits wrote: drinking, screw wasting my time on a bunch of pointless hobbies
and if you want to be happier get a bunch of good friends to hang out with, easy way to achieve this: fraternity, if they have those in finland
Oh believe me i have been drinking, and it definately isnt making me happy.. it makes me mostly suicidal. And i dunno if there are fraternitys in finland, but definately not here where i live.
On November 15 2009 12:19 suxN wrote: In finland army is mandatory, during there they figured im depressed ( i didnt even notice it myself ). And i didnt really create a bond with anyone there. Sense of pride might be good for me, too bad thats one of those things you dont feel in army. Im too old to start at local fire department (they train kids and teenagers, there isnt really anything for newbie adults). Then theres red cross, i really dont know anything about it, could be worth a shot.
I dont have a job but im at school, its definately good to have something to do regularily instead of dwelling with boredness.
Ah, I didn't realize you were older.
Yea, definitely try out the red cross, what do you have to lose? Are you sure about the fire department stuff? If you really were born in1988 like your profile says then you would be the right age. Sure they look for 18 year olds but you really aren't that old. I would apply atleast.
On November 15 2009 12:22 Twisted wrote: Think you gotta think out of the box here. Do something drastic. Take a flight to South America and tour for 3 months with some travel agency aimed at singles. Meet people, explore new areas, try all the new things a place like that has to offer and definitely have a sense that you have all the freedom in the world.
Hmm somesort of single travel agency sure does sound good. Cant do it that drastical since im on student budget, but gotta check out some cheaper option during winter holidays.
On November 15 2009 12:22 Twisted wrote: Think you gotta think out of the box here. Do something drastic. Take a flight to South America and tour for 3 months with some travel agency aimed at singles. Meet people, explore new areas, try all the new things a place like that has to offer and definitely have a sense that you have all the freedom in the world.
Hmm somesort of single travel agency sure does sound good. Cant do it that drastical since im on student budget, but gotta check out some cheaper option during winter holidays.
Student loans or whatever are easy pickin's :p but yeah you don't have to be so drastic of course. It has to be realistic. I wouldn't care about money *that* much though since you are a student and don't have a lot of responsibilities.
Actually they search for people under 18 here, past 18 you have to have somesort of former experience with fire department. It could be possible in some other city, but i cant really move right now since i have the school to finish.
I would strongly reccomend getting to know a local roleplaying community if there is one (should be) its a very welcoming enviroment (it should be anyways) and tremendous fun as you get the hang of it ^^. Me and 4-6 friends meet up once a week minimum for just this purpouse and for us its really relaxed an un competative, thoug roleplaying can ofc be anything. Should be possible to find a group on the internets somwhere, and with roleplaying i dont mean final fantasy, i mean "classic" style with dice and nerds a stuff
But really, whatever your doing, if you dont have people you like to do it with it just wont be as fun. So finding people with similar intrests or that you just enjoy being with is very valuble. (playing starcraft against an AI sucks monkey balls, playing against a good friend is awesome:D)
In my unprofessional opinion, to be positive about anything that can be seen positivly, or twist the event so at the least something positive comes out , for example , you break a cup of coffe, now you dont have to go throug all the hassle of putting it in the dishwasher :D. Yes its retarded but i find it to be great fun.
As you enjoy fantasy you should read Steven Eriksons malazan series (starting with gardens of the moon) which is the best series ever. Also, if you have to power to go on the wild side, you could try to write a book to yourself about your depression, it might suddenly reveal unnoticed elements with it and make it easier to work with (when i learned i had social anxiety i started trying to be more activly open in unknow situations to "combat" this)
There was a local roleplaying community, and i was part of it. But now its dead, cant seem to find new people and old friends have moved elsewhere. Roleplaying is quite fun i agree
On November 15 2009 12:41 suxN wrote: There was a local roleplaying community, and i was part of it. But now its dead, cant seem to find new people and old friends have moved elsewhere. Roleplaying is quite fun i agree
Omg sux man dont give up, there must be more nerds out there
and on a side note, how can feeling like a crab be a bad thing? look at the pic you posted, that thing looks fekking awesoem O_O i loved it on first sight
learn an instrument, make up songs, find other people who like to do the same, play around. not many things can sustain you for as long or soak up frustration!
I've done the whole depression thing, and as you may already know, its overrated. It's good that you are trying to find hobbies and things you enjoy, but you have to realize that finding things that are fun to do only takes you so far towards finding happiness. You need to focus on being healthy, physically and mentally, as well as having an enjoyable lifestyle.
Not sure about the details of your life, but here is my advice:
***IMPORTANT*** Step 1: Get up at the same time every morning even if you feel like shit. Once you are up, DO SOMETHING. IDC what it is, starcraft, work, sex, croquet whatever. Also: get off the computer at least 10 hours before you need to wake up. Step 2: Eat healthy, and do not eat 12 hours before you need to wake up. Step 3: Get at least 30 mins of exercise every day, even if its just walking. Step 4: Get some sunlight every day, it can be while you get your 30 mins of exercise. ***IMPORTANT***
Do steps 1-4 for at least 3-4 weeks, you will start getting a regular sleep cycle and start feeling more human. It's not going to make your depression go away entirely, but it will make a massive difference in your general mood. These 4 things had more of an effect on me than anti-depressants once I actually starting doing them regularly.
Step 5: Be honest with yourself. If you don't like hanging out with your friends do something else. If you get tired of a hobby get a new hobby. Don't convince yourself that you should be living your life a certain way. If you want something to change in your life, the only way its going to change is by your own doing. The world we live in is created for us by us. Don't make excuses for your life not being the way you want it to be.
Step 6: Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Let yourself feel your emotions good or bad. Recognize the way you feel, and don't tell yourself you shouldn't feel that way. Whether or not there is a rational reason for your emotions, they are there, and the only way to find a permanent solution to depression is by coming to terms with these emotions, and finding positivity. Happiness really does come from within, if you always bring yourself down with negativity, you are the only thing stopping yourself from being happy.
Step 7: Think about what you want to do with your life. Make a list of things you want to do. Write it down. I know its difficult to think about anything of the sort when you are depressed, but if you treat your body well, life is really quite a long adventure. You are only at the beginning, and the sooner you look at what you want in your future you will be able to see what you need for yourself now. Sure maybe you've been depressed for 4 years and are growing tired of it already, but have you really done everything you want to do on this planet? I highly doubt it. 4 years is a very small part of the average humans lifespan, so don't stress about it, you have lots of time to figure it out and be happy.
Step 8: Learn to be an optimist. I know you've heard it a thousand times, turn that frown upside down, look at the bright side of life etc. Honestly the retards who told you that can die in a fire, because they don't know what they are talking about. This part is not easy, it's not just about flicking a switch and magically being happy.
Here are the facts.
Life's a bitch an then you die. Nobody knows the meaning of the universe, and its likely no one ever will.
That being said, would you rather enjoy your ambiguous mortal existence? Or would you rather be miserable the entire time? If you have any intelligence whatsoever you probably know the answer.
What it all boils down to, is a choice. Stop being a pussy and make it.
Once you've done that, figuring out the gritty details is called living.
"I don't think we're here for anything, we're just products of evolution. You can say 'Gee your life must be pretty bleak if you don't think there's a purpose,' but I'm anticipating a good lunch." -James Watson
The poster above has it right in just about every way.
There isn't one right way to enjoy life. There are as many ways as there are people. There are things you can do to get yourself into the right mindset, but it's up to you to find it yourself. And never get discouraged if you haven't yet.
Well, I had my own 2 isk to throw onto the idea stack, but Wr3k pretty much made my points and then some.
I know a lot of people lately seem to be dealing with depression. I myself haven't decided to see a psychiatrist yet, rather, I've been putting my "random" meditation/inner dialogues on paper. It doesn't make me happy, but it feels better putting it all on paper, even if nobody will read it.
On November 15 2009 10:57 JohnColtrane wrote: get a girlfriend
I cannot stand this comment. How would a depressed person be a good candidate for a relationship, hell even have the ability to attract a girl.
It can be tough, but not impossible. When I was depressed when I was younger I managed to get a girlfriend. She had her own emotional problems though. We helped each other a lot. She was exactly what I needed.
Try Salvia Divinorum and have your face melt and enter a new reality for 5 minutes that seems like an eternity. It might bring out latent psychological problems too that would be cool. Maybe you can an hero.
Learn about mushrooms. Edible and psychedelic and go pick them.
Start developing a snobbish taste in music by joining a private invite torrent site for music.
Turn off all of your lights, put on noise cancelling high quality headphones, make sure you can't see anything close your eyes and listen to a psychedelic band (after smoking a lot of pot).
Try to live on the streets for a week. You can't use any money you have to beg for it or find it.
Go camping by yourself. (Sweet ass backpack required)
Float on a river.
Go skiing.
Learn how to tie flies for fly fishing.
Get good at starcraft. Teach yourself that it's only a hobby and if I keep on playing it like 5 games a day eventually I'll get better at it. Just have to watch the replays and find small things that you're doing wrong and go back and correct them. Everyone loses. If you can't deal with it you're a shitty human being and you'll never learn anything.
Watch Carl Sagans Cosmos instead of looking at the stars. He'll really make you think the whole world is insignificant. But you'll learn a lot.
Start a conversation with a random stranger. Bullshit the fuck out of them. Lie about everything just to do it for fun. How many people are there in the world again?
On November 15 2009 10:59 suxN wrote: No, i dont recall having any dreams.. Well now that i think about it, a gf would be nice.. But its not like i havent been trying to achieve that allready.
What on earth is starting strenght, i guess ill google it up *edit, sounds like gym to me, been there done that :/ still doing actually
Chances are you're not doing it right. Do starting strength, it WILL cure cancer.
Your diet. You eat meat, saturated fat, sugar and white flour all the time. Just guessing of course. Eat real food, fruit, vegetables, whole grains, and GOOD fats like Avacados and Cashews. I garuntee you 100% this is why you feel bad.
Also gauge your intake of Sodium VS Potasium. You never ever want to lean too much to sodium.
And +1 for the guy who said Strength Training. This is the essence of life for the male. GL sir.
What would you like to do that makes you happy? Did you try to answer to that question? You've started on the opposite poll by stating things you don't like. It seems to me like you wait something interesting to happen.
It is quite hilarious though, because of known thinking in some people they tend to view life the way you do. But it's a matter of perspective. No one views the same situation in the same way as another. It has a commonality sure but never the same in other aspects. Because you focus your attention on what you don't want your mind picks from your daily routines only things that you think are bad.
Do you used to be all the time in this situation? I mean before starting going to psychiatrist 2 years ago?
Listen how you really think even when you phrase some things:
I havent been enjoying social activities either for few years...
Everything competitive sucks horribly..
You are even decided before starting any of the activities you've tried. So no matter what you do you end up with the same thought you had when you started: this all sucks. You've gotta start asking yourself some really serious questions about how you think your daily life. Start from when you were happy. What was that made you happy before? What qualities were then that are not now? Was the life exciting? Was the life enjoyable?
Go on ebay, find a guitar. Buy the cheapest crappiest one you can find. Take it home and learn to play a classic love song. Sing it to a girl, make her your girlfriend. Teach her to play starcraft. GLHF.
On November 15 2009 10:52 suxN wrote: I'm depressed, been on meds and psychiatrist for almost 2 years, still feeling like crab all the time.
Im figuring out, what are the stuff you enjoy doing? i'll give a list of different hobbies ive tried, but theyve left me cold.
Poker Starcraft (and alot of other computer games) Chess Soccer Icehockey Floorball Tennis Gym/jogging Reading/writing Drawing Cooking blacksmithing .. thats all that comes to mind right now.
I havent been enjoying social activities either for few years.. hell its over 4 years since the last time i had girlfriend. Its not that i havent tried, i just cant figure anything interesting to chat about.. talking has become awkward even with my friends.
Everything competitive sucks horribly.. i dont mind if im leading, but if i get set back i simply curl up and die, losing all interest to even try.
I've done some drugs and alcohol but they're not giving any kicks or chills anymore.
So.. How to enjoy life ? I dont want to feel constantly bored, frustrated, sad or tired
What did your psychiatrist say was the cause of your depression? I would think that you should figure out what the problem is (why you are depressed) before you begin to find a solution, or at least let us know so that people will stop throwing random answers at you that are each meant to attack different causes of depression.
Sorry for a repeat or if this has been answered. Didn't read the entire thread...
I've had the same problem, well have, I was prescribed Celexa, an SSRI, it worked but I recently stopped, although my Depression is a lot less, Drugs and Alcohol work a lot better for me, to be honest, I know its not a long term thing, and its not solving anything...But I was a danger to myself and its just better this way if I toak up, or have a drink, or do lets say other things...but I limit my drug use so I do not become a addict, but my advice to you...Is if you have some close friends, ask if you can talk to them, Friends are better psychiatrists then actual psychiatrists, well to me anyway...And just find something you like, and enjoy, and do it!
meet some guys who have a lot of self confidence. From them, learn how batnering back and forth works. This is usually easy if you're a half way decent call of duty player, but not too good.
From knowing how to tlak to other people, expand yoursocial circle as much as possible. this is honestly the secret to happiness.
Wr3k gave good advice to try, and improving your diet and exercise can't hurt.
I would say, don't get on the computer for at least the first half of the day. Wake up, drink some water, and go for a long walk. Practice meditation. Learn to be "used to" being alone, without extraneous stimulation. Become stronger at it, and everything will kind of level out.
Do like chronically bored people have done throughout all time: Learn a ridiculous amount of theoretical science. It wont make you "happy" but it will keep you busy and it feels good in its own way.
On November 15 2009 10:54 EscPlan9 wrote: See a professional.
Did you even read the post? If so, please try again!
To OP - do you have any interests or dreams at all? If so, what are they? (Doesn't matter how silly or unrealistic they seem to you at this point)
As hobbies I enjoy a lot of the things you've tried (Chess, tennis, anime, cooking, Judo). My studies make up the core of my existence right now, which I find very interesting and will hopefully fuel my future.
Go see more doctors. I mean real medical doctors. Depression is a strong sign that your body is weak and not functioning properly.
Check for all kind of stds. Like HIV, HBV and so on. Then check your vital organs. like liver, kidneys and so on. Then check for cancers.
You could be dieing of liver cancer because of HBV or some thing but just don't know it yet, because you didn't get the proper medical test.
A perfect healthy body should not be suffering from long term depression unless you have been frequently mistreated.
Spend your time so that every other day gives you something nice to remember later on - in short - collect memories. The best source for that for me is travelling and visiting new places. Make some friends/acquaintances who like travelling themselves and travel the shit out of your country (that should be affordable to almost anyone). Visit new places, walk their streets, hike mountains, meet new people from all over the country. At least that is what I am doing right now.
Snowboarding helped me out of a depression twice. Last year my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me and I was sooooooo down/miserable whatever. 4 weeks after this I went snowboarding for a week with 3 friends and boy, I totally forgot everything I left a home and when I got back, I didn't even care anymore. I just... started anew, dunno how to explain it... And you usually meet tons of new people on a skitrip through the travel organisation (apres ski, parties etc)
I say, go travel (doesn't even have to be snowboarding ^^) just for the sake of it
Wow, you really have tried everything. You still follow competitive gaming right? Also try some volunteering work anywhere. You meet lots of people, and maybe end up finding a good hobby, and it never hurts to give back to your community.
Suomi on aika masentunut maa ;P Niin kyllä ruotsikin mutta whatever
Anyways, feeling sorry for yourself won't do any good. I don't mean to be harsh but it's the fact of the matter. You are responsible for feeling good. I would stop eating meds, start supplementing with vitamins/minerals, eat healthy, work out for starters. It's weird how overlooked easy things like these often are when it comes to depression. Meds keep people in a state of status quo where they even see themselves as "ill" and "patients"; they are neither. They have a unbalance in transmittor substances, essential fats and or vitamins in the brain, in combination with a lifestyle that aren't helping them.
If you don't already run/swim/ride a bike or some other cardio, do it now. It has shown to be a very effective treatment in depression both because serotonin and endorphines are upregulated, adrenaline/noradrenaline are downregulated, and dopamine is upregulated as well when you work out, which makes you feel good and "up".
The food thing is very important. Alot of how we feel is not just what we think and what we experience, it's what we put into our systems in terms of nutrition. Believe that homie Get a good multi-vitamin and a b-complex. It will make you calmer and help you with nutritional needs. Also get omega-3
Now, stop moping and start exploring. What do you do otherwise, work/study what??
On November 16 2009 04:14 Foucault wrote: Move out from Finland!
Suomi on aika masentunut maa ;P Niin kyllä ruotsikin mutta whatever
Anyways, feeling sorry for yourself won't do any good. I don't mean to be harsh but it's the fact of the matter. You are responsible for feeling good. I would stop eating meds, start supplementing with vitamins/minerals, eat healthy, work out for starters. It's weird how overlooked easy things like these often are when it comes to depression. Meds keep people in a state of status quo where they even see themselves as "ill" and "patients"; they are neither. They have a unbalance in transmittor substances, essential fats and or vitamins in the brain, in combination with a lifestyle that aren't helping them.
If you don't already run/swim/ride a bike or some other cardio, do it now. It has shown to be a very effective treatment in depression both because serotonin and endorphines are upregulated, adrenaline/noradrenaline are downregulated, and dopamine is upregulated as well when you work out, which makes you feel good and "up".
The food thing is very important. Alot of how we feel is not just what we think and what we experience, it's what we put into our systems in terms of nutrition. Believe that homie Get a good multi-vitamin and a b-complex. It will make you calmer and help you with nutritional needs. Also get omega-3
Now, stop moping and start exploring. What do you do otherwise, work/study what??
some people need meds.
i understand the perspective that people should not do meds if they don't have to - and that there are a lot of people being treated with meds when they don't have to, but advice like this really bothers me.
some people need to be on meds, and only a qualified doctor should be telling someone to go off their meds.
i took anti-depressants for 2 years. I decided they weren't doing their job and stopped cold turkey. i honestly feel it was the best decision i could have made, as it allowed me to actually deal with shit instead of numbing it. But not everyone is like me. I have a few friends who should not EVER stop taking their meds - it's not wise to give unstable people such juvenile advice.
On November 16 2009 04:14 Foucault wrote: Move out from Finland!
Suomi on aika masentunut maa ;P Niin kyllä ruotsikin mutta whatever
Anyways, feeling sorry for yourself won't do any good. I don't mean to be harsh but it's the fact of the matter. You are responsible for feeling good. I would stop eating meds, start supplementing with vitamins/minerals, eat healthy, work out for starters. It's weird how overlooked easy things like these often are when it comes to depression. Meds keep people in a state of status quo where they even see themselves as "ill" and "patients"; they are neither. They have a unbalance in transmittor substances, essential fats and or vitamins in the brain, in combination with a lifestyle that aren't helping them.
If you don't already run/swim/ride a bike or some other cardio, do it now. It has shown to be a very effective treatment in depression both because serotonin and endorphines are upregulated, adrenaline/noradrenaline are downregulated, and dopamine is upregulated as well when you work out, which makes you feel good and "up".
The food thing is very important. Alot of how we feel is not just what we think and what we experience, it's what we put into our systems in terms of nutrition. Believe that homie Get a good multi-vitamin and a b-complex. It will make you calmer and help you with nutritional needs. Also get omega-3
Now, stop moping and start exploring. What do you do otherwise, work/study what??
some people need meds.
i understand the perspective that people should not do meds if they don't have to - and that there are a lot of people being treated with meds when they don't have to, but advice like this really bothers me.
some people need to be on meds, and only a qualified doctor should be telling someone to go off their meds.
i took anti-depressants for 2 years. I decided they weren't doing their job and stopped cold turkey. i honestly feel it was the best decision i could have made, as it allowed me to actually deal with shit instead of numbing it. But not everyone is like me. I have a few friends who should not EVER stop taking their meds - it's not wise to give unstable people such juvenile advice.
The reason my advice bothers you is because you are most likely clueless on the subject generally speaking. You are of the belief that there is an underlying serotonin deficiency in a depressed person, simple as that. Am I right? Anyways, my point is that the serotonin hypothesis that depression is pretty much a result of low serotonin has proven to be quite wrong. Serotonin plays in but it's far away from that clear-cut; all the transmittors play in, nutrition, EFA (EPA/DHA), exercise, activity, social circle etc.
SSRI:s don't cure people, they numb you out. I have yet to hear anyone who feels good on their anti-depressant meds in the long run. I think it's weird how doctors even thing that affecting ONE transmittor would produce a remarkable effect regarding to depression. Then again, when SSRI:s came, we hadn't come so far in brain research, to be fair. There has been so many reports and research on SSRI's and fact of the matter is that they are quite bad in terms of efficiency, where they usually score about the same as placebo AND workout/diet- changes.
So then tell me why a person should eat a medication with a ton of side-effects, where some REALLY tough ones are erectile dysfunction (ie not having a sexlife) and loosing affect, ie feeling numbed out. Anti-depressants are in some cases causing suicidal thoughts, and the notion that a medicine that has existed for soon 30-40 years would be a cure-all is ridiculous. People survived just fine before that too.
Of course I'm not advocating that someone just stops if they are on them, you should taper down. I've been on some meds a couple of years ago and boy are they an illusion of a magic pill. They do not solve anything. But yeah I do agree with you that in some severe cases of depression, SSRI's might be a decent start to get a person at least up for therapy and working out etc. However in that case they should be supervised by doctors because too many times, suicidal people have tried to commit suicide when they get put on meds, because they feel a sense of initative and action returning to them with the SSRI.
Mora, no one NEEDS to be on meds. That's just based on your limited view on what depression is. Hell, you might as well eat vitamin B6 in high amounts daily, because it plays a essential role in forming serotonine.
There's nothing magical about SSRI's at all. Trust me I've done research of my own at uni, and discussed them at length. Alot of the talk about SSRI's stem from medical companies, advertising and their hunt for money. To be frank.
hey man ive been in the same situation these last months it is pritty shitty but man it is up to you no one else.
the little i know about where you are from is that finnish people are prone to depression becouse of the climate. I dont know if you have any money but a trip always helps.
Why not try to go to a foreing country to work/live? how bout going to a place near the ecuator or in south america, that could be quite the experience.
. If you really are in a situation that you cannot do those things then the solution is to get away from your routine, even your entertainment routine, yeah we alwayse entertain ouselfs in the same way and it gets old fast. If all that fails, i dont know get super waisted with your best friends and tell them how fucked up you feel... If they are you friends at all they will give you a good awnser.
I tried to call a friend over a problem i had and he told me to fuck off, and he was right he had things worse off. So maybe the best thing to do is to think about all you have and all you did and know how kickass you were in those good moments that always brings a smile.
also what kind of drugs did you take? maybe they werent the right ones..
On November 15 2009 13:28 Wr3k wrote: I've done the whole depression thing, and as you may already know, its overrated. It's good that you are trying to find hobbies and things you enjoy, but you have to realize that finding things that are fun to do only takes you so far towards finding happiness. You need to focus on being healthy, physically and mentally, as well as having an enjoyable lifestyle.
Not sure about the details of your life, but here is my advice:
***IMPORTANT*** Step 1: Get up at the same time every morning even if you feel like shit. Once you are up, DO SOMETHING. IDC what it is, starcraft, work, sex, croquet whatever. Also: get off the computer at least 10 hours before you need to wake up. Step 2: Eat healthy, and do not eat 12 hours before you need to wake up. Step 3: Get at least 30 mins of exercise every day, even if its just walking. Step 4: Get some sunlight every day, it can be while you get your 30 mins of exercise. ***IMPORTANT***
Do steps 1-4 for at least 3-4 weeks, you will start getting a regular sleep cycle and start feeling more human. It's not going to make your depression go away entirely, but it will make a massive difference in your general mood. These 4 things had more of an effect on me than anti-depressants once I actually starting doing them regularly.
Step 5: Be honest with yourself. If you don't like hanging out with your friends do something else. If you get tired of a hobby get a new hobby. Don't convince yourself that you should be living your life a certain way. If you want something to change in your life, the only way its going to change is by your own doing. The world we live in is created for us by us. Don't make excuses for your life not being the way you want it to be.
Step 6: Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Let yourself feel your emotions good or bad. Recognize the way you feel, and don't tell yourself you shouldn't feel that way. Whether or not there is a rational reason for your emotions, they are there, and the only way to find a permanent solution to depression is by coming to terms with these emotions, and finding positivity. Happiness really does come from within, if you always bring yourself down with negativity, you are the only thing stopping yourself from being happy.
Step 7: Think about what you want to do with your life. Make a list of things you want to do. Write it down. I know its difficult to think about anything of the sort when you are depressed, but if you treat your body well, life is really quite a long adventure. You are only at the beginning, and the sooner you look at what you want in your future you will be able to see what you need for yourself now. Sure maybe you've been depressed for 4 years and are growing tired of it already, but have you really done everything you want to do on this planet? I highly doubt it. 4 years is a very small part of the average humans lifespan, so don't stress about it, you have lots of time to figure it out and be happy.
Step 8: Learn to be an optimist. I know you've heard it a thousand times, turn that frown upside down, look at the bright side of life etc. Honestly the retards who told you that can die in a fire, because they don't know what they are talking about. This part is not easy, it's not just about flicking a switch and magically being happy.
Here are the facts.
Life's a bitch an then you die. Nobody knows the meaning of the universe, and its likely no one ever will.
That being said, would you rather enjoy your ambiguous mortal existence? Or would you rather be miserable the entire time? If you have any intelligence whatsoever you probably know the answer.
What it all boils down to, is a choice. Stop being a pussy and make it.
Once you've done that, figuring out the gritty details is called living.
"I don't think we're here for anything, we're just products of evolution. You can say 'Gee your life must be pretty bleak if you don't think there's a purpose,' but I'm anticipating a good lunch." -James Watson
This.
Just requoting, because it is the best advise in this thread so far.
First, just to get you a medical perspective back in mind, there -ARE- cases of depression where you just -need- medication. Don't ignore this fact and realize that it would not be bad if that would be the case. In case you have prejudices here: Talk to someone with a medical background, but someone you can connect with please. (TL Manpower anyone?) ... Personally, knowing that a lot of the "omg psychotropic drugs omgomg evil omg" bullcrap you hear out there is simply not true would have helped me a lot a few years ago.
edit: Foucault vs Mora is some posts above mine. I'll leave the matter to those guys here, the statement above is the information I gathered personally, but those two seem more qualified here.
The main however that I'm seeing here (and also my main reason for responding) is, that most people (including yourself) are just scratching the surface here. What you deceive as your main problem ("I dont want to feel constantly bored, frustrated, sad or tired") is not a problem. It's an effect. Trying to fix that via trying things which make you feel excited, happy etc. is what comes to mind first, but it's your personal frame of the world which makes you not enjoy things.
[Before I start this I have to tell that I really, really love that you've already taken the first steps which is admitting the problem and the idea that you should do something about it. Even if this post might sound harsh at times, I'll just go ahead and try to make you conscious about your frame.]
I'll quote some of your posts and sentences in this thread to give you an idea where I think would be the REAL place to start fixing this stuff. It actually starts with getting rid of the word of "fixing".
"Im figuring out, what are the stuff you enjoy doing?"
You're not asking why people enjoy life. You're asking which stuff people enjoy doing.
Everything competitive sucks horribly.. i dont mind if im leading, but if i get set back i simply curl up and die, losing all interest to even try.
Here's a huge point. Even though I'm sure 90% of the people here would have used words like "winning" and "losing" to describe this, you didn't. You talk about "leading" and "getting set back". To put your sentence into simple language you stated: I don't care if I'm winning, but if I lose I curl up and die.
That's pretty drastic in my opinion. Try to get aware that the problem is not "everything competetive sucks" (most people would have said "I don't like competetive stuff") the problem is that you don't care about winning and have a huge fear of losing.
I've done some drugs and alcohol but they're not giving any kicks or chills anymore.
This sentence is perfect to reflect your mindset. You expect things from the outside to give you "kicks or chills". ... Try and think about that for a second, we'll get back to it.
I'm now going to tear apart a few of your statements to rattle the cage a little, afterwards I'll get to some ideas and concepts how to get out of there.
No, i dont recall having any dreams.. Well now that i think about it, a gf would be nice..
... It would be "nice" to have a gf? It would be nice to be A+ at SC, it would be nice to have more money than bill gates and it would be nice to be the man women love. I guess, it would be nice to enjoy life, too, right? ... That concept doesn't get you anywhere. What do you want? - You have to get clear ideas of that.
Parkour seems like a nice idea, too bad the town i live in has quite bad architecture for it.
... See what you did there? I see it so clear since I've been there about half a year ago. You don't want to do parkour. You don't want to say that. You're trying to suggest the reader in an evading language ("nice idea" / "quite bad architecture") that you're not fucking interested in it. ... If you would WANT something, you'd do something about it.
Oh. This one is perfect as well. Try and read what you actually wrote there. I'll highlight the important parts.
As a kid i used to think being good at sports/games is cool, these days i just get mentally shattered if i lose, cant really help it.. besides im not thinking its that cool anyways. Currently i dont really see cool stuff anywhere, just feeling like people enjoying themselves at something are jackasses.
You get mentally shattered over losing a game. That's not as bad as "but if i get set back i simply curl up and die", but, still. You get where I'm going at now, right?
The next thing is HUGE: Mister, there is a problem (aka being mentally shattered about losing a game) and you "cant really help it". Terrible feeling, isn't it? Guess what: You can help it. You don't want to. You decide to pick the easy way out by lining up with the people who say things like... "Well, I don't like the relationship I'm in. But I just can't help it." ... "I hate my job but I can't help it." ... "I'd love to fuck a gorgeous women instead of playing stacraft but, hey, what can you do?"
Guess what? They could. They don't want to. They are not able to admit the thought process which goes like:
Current situation: I don't feel good in my current relationship. Concept of the world: I'd like to feel good in my relationship. Conclusion: I HAVE TO FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
Telling your environment that you don't have something you want means admitting you are not where you want. Saying "I can't help it" is an easy way of getting approval from the people around you. ... People nod, tell you "Oh, I understand. That's pretty bad.", you answer with "yeah, kinda sucks". ... Guess what changes? Nothing. They'll continue to live a dull live they don't like. gg no re.
Each and every single one of your posts is full of statements like the ones above. ... Task #1 for you to get out of there: Find more of those. Become aware of what you really say. You're hiding a shit load of stuff. From you and everyone else.
"So, how do get to enjoy life?" ... Do'h! Wrong! "How do I change my perception of life?" is the real question. =)
A concept I love here is from Hypnotica (those who are a bit into pickup might recognize the name).
First, you have your environment. Then there's the bullshit-box of all the stuff you experienced. THEN comes your perception of your environment.
So, an input comes from outside, goes through our personal bullshit-box and then we get something out of there which is our personal reality.
To put it simple: Your bullshit-box is fucked up. When you get input you first think about how you can't realize it. For the cases where you pushed through here and STILL tried (which is awesome btw.)... you focussed on all the negative things attached to it, giving them the most value in the process. Then you realize the "whole thing is bad/boring/depressing" and don't like it anymore.
It's about half full vs half empty here. Sorry, to state it in your language: It's about "Has kinda some water in it" vs "I would say that the amount of water in there is not optimal at all and therefor you have to call it pretty empty". /irony off.
What's going to work to make your life more exciting and enjoyable? I have no idea. It's your fucking life. Not mine. But I'll tell you some cool things which worked for me:
http://www.timetostand.com/viewvideo.htm ... Those four videos are gold. The person is gold. Yes, I'm a fanboy - and I can say just his videos/audios helped me most from all input I got. Feel free to google around and find more of his videos.
Setting priorities. Say "Yes" or "No". Which person seems to have more character? Someone who doesn't care if its Rock or Hip-Hop or who likes beer just as wine or who likes fat girls just like slim girls? Rather be a rock-loving hip-hop-hating, wineloving, beerhating embracer of slim girls who hates fat girls. Make choices.
Working on my language. Getting aware of the stuff I'm saying. Getting rid of "I don't have time for.." .. "I can't do..." ... and being honest about it and saying "I don't want to." ... Be carefull though, telling your girlfriend that you don't want to spend time with her right now since spending time with your best buddy has a higher priority right now might get you into some kind of shitfest. Realize your priorities and be honest about them. e.g. right now your priority is to read this huge post. You're not partying. You're not meeting people. You're not having sex (at least I hope that), you're not playing starcraft and on and on. AND ITS FUCKING OKAY TO SET THAT PRIORITY. ... Hell, it's even okay to play WoW 18/7. If that person choses to, it's his choice. Maybe get some ideas into his mind about what else he could do, but, hey, leave him. It's his choice.
When someone suggests you to do this or that, catch yourself thinking "Yeah, but..", hell stop mid-sentence when it comes out of your mouth (and I know it will) AND SLAP YOURSELF RIGHT THEN AND THERE.
Whenever you get a "Uh, yeah, that sucks for you." / "You poor thing" etc. blabla. response. Slap yourself even harder. You just asked someone to pity your for your situation, to strengthen your personal pity-party believes by getting approval for it and therefore keeping the way you are.
Two quotes to sum all this up:
“If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten.”
And...
Be mindful of your thoughts For they become words.
Be mindful of your words, For they become actions.
Be mindful of your actions, For they become your habits.
Be mindful of your habits, For they become your character.
Be mindful of your character, For it becomes your fate.
My personal advice: Awareness. More awareness. Oh, and read kennigets pickup threads. =P
PS: I want some kind of "this user has written x-words"-systems instead of postcounts. 8)
On November 16 2009 05:13 HeadhunteR wrote: the little i know about where you are from is that finnish people are prone to depression becouse of the climate. I dont know if you have any money but a trip always helps.
Yeah alcohol and arctic climate. It's almost the same in Sweden, but Finland are a bit more depressed. "Tuhansien murheelisten laulujen maa" comes to mind lol
Anyways, it's getting dark at 3:30 pm here and the sun doesn't go up until like 7-8 o clock in the morning. Man it's like living in a constant darkness in Scandinavia during alot of months each year and it's not a coincidence that alot of people feel worse when the darkness of fall/winter sets in.
Btw, OP you should try a D-vitamin supplement (D3). There's been alot of talk about it in Sweden since it's a vitamin we hardly get without being exposed to the sun. D3 has been proven to help against SAD (seasonal depression) in clinical doses.
About TL manpower, I'm probably one of top 3 people who knows most about psychiatry and psychology here if that helps.
On November 15 2009 10:57 JohnColtrane wrote: get a girlfriend
I cannot stand this comment. How would a depressed person be a good candidate for a relationship, hell even have the ability to attract a girl.
how would an ugly person ever attract a girl? maybe they should just stop trying also?
dont like it, dont read it
I am saying that, for the most part, relationships are healthiest when both people are sure of themselves because they are able to give to the other, rather than just thinking about themselves. "Giving" in terms of loving/being able to focus on the other person. Simply just "getting a girlfriend" is a dumb remark because it's overused so much on this website and, let's be honest, when a guy who is depressed and asks for advice or w/e, I am pretty sure he has already been trying to get a girlfriend and isn't successful because he probably wouldn't be depressed in the first place if he DID have a girlfriend! So to type three words, trying to act like getting a girlfriend is the easiest task in the world, is just ignorant.
And yeah sorry too bad that I have to actually read the comment first before I decide whether or not I like it; I wish it was the other way around sometimes.
And come to realize that your life is 1) An amazing thing, just being alive is a miracle that many people do not appreciate and take for granted. Ultimately your life is the one single thing that you have that is the most valuable thing you can own, take care of it, enjoy it and most important of all:
2) Be thankful that you are in fact not that bad off after all, there are millions of people in this world who are worse off than you, that does not matter. What matters is what you do with your situation anf how you deal with your hardships, look here for an example....... how does he do it?
On November 16 2009 06:08 JohnColtrane wrote: dark at 3pm O.O
i woke up at like 6am and it was sunny already (Australia)
I'm jealous
OP, also read up on cosmology and physics in general. I find that stuff so interesting that I loose myself in it. There are more interesting things than yourself
On November 15 2009 13:28 Wr3k wrote: I've done the whole depression thing, and as you may already know, its overrated. It's good that you are trying to find hobbies and things you enjoy, but you have to realize that finding things that are fun to do only takes you so far towards finding happiness. You need to focus on being healthy, physically and mentally, as well as having an enjoyable lifestyle.
Not sure about the details of your life, but here is my advice:
***IMPORTANT*** Step 1: Get up at the same time every morning even if you feel like shit. Once you are up, DO SOMETHING. IDC what it is, starcraft, work, sex, croquet whatever. Also: get off the computer at least 10 hours before you need to wake up. Step 2: Eat healthy, and do not eat 12 hours before you need to wake up. Step 3: Get at least 30 mins of exercise every day, even if its just walking. Step 4: Get some sunlight every day, it can be while you get your 30 mins of exercise. ***IMPORTANT***
Do steps 1-4 for at least 3-4 weeks, you will start getting a regular sleep cycle and start feeling more human. It's not going to make your depression go away entirely, but it will make a massive difference in your general mood. These 4 things had more of an effect on me than anti-depressants once I actually starting doing them regularly.
Step 5: Be honest with yourself. If you don't like hanging out with your friends do something else. If you get tired of a hobby get a new hobby. Don't convince yourself that you should be living your life a certain way. If you want something to change in your life, the only way its going to change is by your own doing. The world we live in is created for us by us. Don't make excuses for your life not being the way you want it to be.
Step 6: Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Let yourself feel your emotions good or bad. Recognize the way you feel, and don't tell yourself you shouldn't feel that way. Whether or not there is a rational reason for your emotions, they are there, and the only way to find a permanent solution to depression is by coming to terms with these emotions, and finding positivity. Happiness really does come from within, if you always bring yourself down with negativity, you are the only thing stopping yourself from being happy.
Step 7: Think about what you want to do with your life. Make a list of things you want to do. Write it down. I know its difficult to think about anything of the sort when you are depressed, but if you treat your body well, life is really quite a long adventure. You are only at the beginning, and the sooner you look at what you want in your future you will be able to see what you need for yourself now. Sure maybe you've been depressed for 4 years and are growing tired of it already, but have you really done everything you want to do on this planet? I highly doubt it. 4 years is a very small part of the average humans lifespan, so don't stress about it, you have lots of time to figure it out and be happy.
Step 8: Learn to be an optimist. I know you've heard it a thousand times, turn that frown upside down, look at the bright side of life etc. Honestly the retards who told you that can die in a fire, because they don't know what they are talking about. This part is not easy, it's not just about flicking a switch and magically being happy.
Here are the facts.
Life's a bitch an then you die. Nobody knows the meaning of the universe, and its likely no one ever will.
That being said, would you rather enjoy your ambiguous mortal existence? Or would you rather be miserable the entire time? If you have any intelligence whatsoever you probably know the answer.
What it all boils down to, is a choice. Stop being a pussy and make it.
Once you've done that, figuring out the gritty details is called living.
"I don't think we're here for anything, we're just products of evolution. You can say 'Gee your life must be pretty bleak if you don't think there's a purpose,' but I'm anticipating a good lunch." -James Watson
This.
Just requoting, because it is the best advise in this thread so far.
First, just to get you a medical perspective back in mind, there -ARE- cases of depression where you just -need- medication. Don't ignore this fact and realize that it would not be bad if that would be the case. In case you have prejudices here: Talk to someone with a medical background, but someone you can connect with please. (TL Manpower anyone?) ... Personally, knowing that a lot of the "omg psychotropic drugs omgomg evil omg" bullcrap you hear out there is simply not true would have helped me a lot a few years ago.
edit: Foucault vs Mora is some posts above mine. I'll leave the matter to those guys here, the statement above is the information I gathered personally, but those two seem more qualified here.
The main however that I'm seeing here (and also my main reason for responding) is, that most people (including yourself) are just scratching the surface here. What you deceive as your main problem ("I dont want to feel constantly bored, frustrated, sad or tired") is not a problem. It's an effect. Trying to fix that via trying things which make you feel excited, happy etc. is what comes to mind first, but it's your personal frame of the world which makes you not enjoy things.
[Before I start this I have to tell that I really, really love that you've already taken the first steps which is admitting the problem and the idea that you should do something about it. Even if this post might sound harsh at times, I'll just go ahead and try to make you conscious about your frame.]
I'll quote some of your posts and sentences in this thread to give you an idea where I think would be the REAL place to start fixing this stuff. It actually starts with getting rid of the word of "fixing".
Everything competitive sucks horribly.. i dont mind if im leading, but if i get set back i simply curl up and die, losing all interest to even try.
Here's a huge point. Even though I'm sure 90% of the people here would have used words like "winning" and "losing" to describe this, you didn't. You talk about "leading" and "getting set back". To put your sentence into simple language you stated: I don't care if I'm winning, but if I lose I curl up and die.
That's pretty drastic in my opinion. Try to get aware that the problem is not "everything competetive sucks" (most people would have said "I don't like competetive stuff") the problem is that you don't care about winning and have a huge fear of losing.
I've done some drugs and alcohol but they're not giving any kicks or chills anymore.
This sentence is perfect to reflect your mindset. You expect things from the outside to give you "kicks or chills". ... Try and think about that for a second, we'll get back to it.
I'm now going to tear apart a few of your statements to rattle the cage a little, afterwards I'll get to some ideas and concepts how to get out of there.
No, i dont recall having any dreams.. Well now that i think about it, a gf would be nice..
... It would be "nice" to have a gf? It would be nice to be A+ at SC, it would be nice to have more money than bill gates and it would be nice to be the man women love. I guess, it would be nice to enjoy life, too, right? ... That concept doesn't get you anywhere. What do you want? - You have to get clear ideas of that.
Parkour seems like a nice idea, too bad the town i live in has quite bad architecture for it.
... See what you did there? I see it so clear since I've been there about half a year ago. You don't want to do parkour. You don't want to say that. You're trying to suggest the reader in an evading language ("nice idea" / "quite bad architecture") that you're not fucking interested in it. ... If you would WANT something, you'd do something about it.
Oh. This one is perfect as well. Try and read what you actually wrote there. I'll highlight the important parts.
As a kid i used to think being good at sports/games is cool, these days i just get mentally shattered if i lose, cant really help it.. besides im not thinking its that cool anyways. Currently i dont really see cool stuff anywhere, just feeling like people enjoying themselves at something are jackasses.
You get mentally shattered over losing a game. That's not as bad as "but if i get set back i simply curl up and die", but, still. You get where I'm going at now, right?
The next thing is HUGE: Mister, there is a problem (aka being mentally shattered about losing a game) and you "cant really help it". Terrible feeling, isn't it? Guess what: You can help it. You don't want to. You decide to pick the easy way out by lining up with the people who say things like... "Well, I don't like the relationship I'm in. But I just can't help it." ... "I hate my job but I can't help it." ... "I'd love to fuck a gorgeous women instead of playing stacraft but, hey, what can you do?"
Guess what? They could. They don't want to. They are not able to admit the thought process which goes like:
Current situation: I don't feel good in my current relationship. Concept of the world: I'd like to feel good in my relationship. Conclusion: I HAVE TO FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
Telling your environment that you don't have something you want means admitting you are not where you want. Saying "I can't help it" is an easy way of getting approval from the people around you. ... People nod, tell you "Oh, I understand. That's pretty bad.", you answer with "yeah, kinda sucks". ... Guess what changes? Nothing. They'll continue to live a dull live they don't like. gg no re.
Each and every single one of your posts is full of statements like the ones above. ... Task #1 for you to get out of there: Find more of those. Become aware of what you really say. You're hiding a shit load of stuff. From you and everyone else.
"So, how do get to enjoy life?" ... Do'h! Wrong! "How do I change my perception of life?" is the real question. =)
A concept I love here is from Hypnotica (those who are a bit into pickup might recognize the name).
First, you have your environment. Then there's the bullshit-box of all the stuff you experienced. THEN comes your perception of your environment.
So, an input comes from outside, goes through our personal bullshit-box and then we get something out of there which is our personal reality.
To put it simple: Your bullshit-box is fucked up. When you get input you first think about how you can't realize it. For the cases where you pushed through here and STILL tried (which is awesome btw.)... you focussed on all the negative things attached to it, giving them the most value in the process. Then you realize the "whole thing is bad/boring/depressing" and don't like it anymore.
It's about half full vs half empty here. Sorry, to state it in your language: It's about "Has kinda some water in it" vs "I would say that the amount of water in there is not optimal at all and therefor you have to call it pretty empty". /irony off.
What's going to work to make your life more exciting and enjoyable? I have no idea. It's your fucking life. Not mine. But I'll tell you some cool things which worked for me:
http://www.timetostand.com/viewvideo.htm ... Those four videos are gold. The person is gold. Yes, I'm a fanboy - and I can say just his videos/audios helped me most from all input I got. Feel free to google around and find more of his videos.
Setting priorities. Say "Yes" or "No". Which person seems to have more character? Someone who doesn't care if its Rock or Hip-Hop or who likes beer just as wine or who likes fat girls just like slim girls? Rather be a rock-loving hip-hop-hating, wineloving, beerhating embracer of slim girls who hates fat girls. Make choices.
Working on my language. Getting aware of the stuff I'm saying. Getting rid of "I don't have time for.." .. "I can't do..." ... and being honest about it and saying "I don't want to." ... Be carefull though, telling your girlfriend that you don't want to spend time with her right now since spending time with your best buddy has a higher priority right now might get you into some kind of shitfest. Realize your priorities and be honest about them. e.g. right now your priority is to read this huge post. You're not partying. You're not meeting people. You're not having sex (at least I hope that), you're not playing starcraft and on and on. AND ITS FUCKING OKAY TO SET THAT PRIORITY. ... Hell, it's even okay to play WoW 18/7. If that person choses to, it's his choice. Maybe get some ideas into his mind about what else he could do, but, hey, leave him. It's his choice.
When someone suggests you to do this or that, catch yourself thinking "Yeah, but..", hell stop mid-sentence when it comes out of your mouth (and I know it will) AND SLAP YOURSELF RIGHT THEN AND THERE.
Whenever you get a "Uh, yeah, that sucks for you." / "You poor thing" etc. blabla. response. Slap yourself even harder. You just asked someone to pity your for your situation, to strengthen your personal pity-party believes by getting approval for it and therefore keeping the way you are.
Two quotes to sum all this up:
“If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten.”
And...
Be mindful of your thoughts For they become words.
Be mindful of your words, For they become actions.
Be mindful of your actions, For they become your habits.
Be mindful of your habits, For they become your character.
Be mindful of your character, For it becomes your fate.
My personal advice: Awareness. More awareness. Oh, and read kennigets pickup threads. =P
PS: I want some kind of "this user has written x-words"-systems instead of postcounts. 8)
Good luck, mate. You can do it. =)
r.Evo gives some very good advice. I didn't mention anything about my opinion of anti-depressants other than I consider your choices, thoughts and lifestyle more important. Don't go off your meds unless you talk to your doctor about it first. If they have you on meds, its for a reason. Whether its low dosage SSRI's or some serious stuff, listen to your damn doctor. Changing how you think and how you live is a slow, long process, you shouldn't derail it because you think your meds aren't the solution. I strongly believe that sometimes meds are necessary, but its ultimately up to the individual to make progress towards being drug free and happy. If your goal is to be drug free, tell your doctor about it, and make realistic decisions.
Light therapy might help abit for the mood part. To spend more time outside during daylight, and to have more light in the appartment. Reasearch shows that people that live up north have more chance to become depressed during the winter than summer time, due to less exposure to daylight.
On November 16 2009 04:14 Foucault wrote: Move out from Finland!
Suomi on aika masentunut maa ;P Niin kyllä ruotsikin mutta whatever
Anyways, feeling sorry for yourself won't do any good. I don't mean to be harsh but it's the fact of the matter. You are responsible for feeling good. I would stop eating meds, start supplementing with vitamins/minerals, eat healthy, work out for starters. It's weird how overlooked easy things like these often are when it comes to depression. Meds keep people in a state of status quo where they even see themselves as "ill" and "patients"; they are neither. They have a unbalance in transmittor substances, essential fats and or vitamins in the brain, in combination with a lifestyle that aren't helping them.
If you don't already run/swim/ride a bike or some other cardio, do it now. It has shown to be a very effective treatment in depression both because serotonin and endorphines are upregulated, adrenaline/noradrenaline are downregulated, and dopamine is upregulated as well when you work out, which makes you feel good and "up".
The food thing is very important. Alot of how we feel is not just what we think and what we experience, it's what we put into our systems in terms of nutrition. Believe that homie Get a good multi-vitamin and a b-complex. It will make you calmer and help you with nutritional needs. Also get omega-3
Now, stop moping and start exploring. What do you do otherwise, work/study what??
some people need meds.
i understand the perspective that people should not do meds if they don't have to - and that there are a lot of people being treated with meds when they don't have to, but advice like this really bothers me.
some people need to be on meds, and only a qualified doctor should be telling someone to go off their meds.
i took anti-depressants for 2 years. I decided they weren't doing their job and stopped cold turkey. i honestly feel it was the best decision i could have made, as it allowed me to actually deal with shit instead of numbing it. But not everyone is like me. I have a few friends who should not EVER stop taking their meds - it's not wise to give unstable people such juvenile advice.
The reason my advice bothers you is because you are most likely clueless on the subject generally speaking. You are of the belief that there is an underlying serotonin deficiency in a depressed person, simple as that. Am I right? Anyways, my point is that the serotonin hypothesis that depression is pretty much a result of low serotonin has proven to be quite wrong. Serotonin plays in but it's far away from that clear-cut; all the transmittors play in, nutrition, EFA (EPA/DHA), exercise, activity, social circle etc.
SSRI:s don't cure people, they numb you out. I have yet to hear anyone who feels good on their anti-depressant meds in the long run. I think it's weird how doctors even thing that affecting ONE transmittor would produce a remarkable effect regarding to depression. Then again, when SSRI:s came, we hadn't come so far in brain research, to be fair. There has been so many reports and research on SSRI's and fact of the matter is that they are quite bad in terms of efficiency, where they usually score about the same as placebo AND workout/diet- changes.
So then tell me why a person should eat a medication with a ton of side-effects, where some REALLY tough ones are erectile dysfunction (ie not having a sexlife) and loosing affect, ie feeling numbed out. Anti-depressants are in some cases causing suicidal thoughts, and the notion that a medicine that has existed for soon 30-40 years would be a cure-all is ridiculous. People survived just fine before that too.
Of course I'm not advocating that someone just stops if they are on them, you should taper down. I've been on some meds a couple of years ago and boy are they an illusion of a magic pill. They do not solve anything. But yeah I do agree with you that in some severe cases of depression, SSRI's might be a decent start to get a person at least up for therapy and working out etc. However in that case they should be supervised by doctors because too many times, suicidal people have tried to commit suicide when they get put on meds, because they feel a sense of initative and action returning to them with the SSRI.
Mora, no one NEEDS to be on meds. That's just based on your limited view on what depression is. Hell, you might as well eat vitamin B6 in high amounts daily, because it plays a essential role in forming serotonine.
There's nothing magical about SSRI's at all. Trust me I've done research of my own at uni, and discussed them at length. Alot of the talk about SSRI's stem from medical companies, advertising and their hunt for money. To be frank.
bi-polar lithium deficient schizophrenic manic-depressives need to be on meds (one of the friends i was referring to).
i was not talking about serotonin. i was talking about people with actual problems.
you don't know anything about this guy. you don't know that he 'just has loew serotonin levels'. you are not his doctor.
i didn't study depression or biology in university, and i won't claim that my knowledge is vast. But i've been on anti-depressants, i've been through 7 psychologists, almost all the women on my mom's side of the family are on anti-depressants, my sister is a cocaine addict, my whole family on both sides are alcoholics, several of my friends have acute mental disorders; it's been prudent for me to learn about drugs and depression.
i, like you, often think that drugs are not the answer. I, unlike you, would never tell someone who is on a recipe of mental stabilizing medication that they should stop because 'the medication is not needed'. You do not know that it is unneeded. Again, you are not his doctor.
Stop giving a shit what random people think of you if you do. When i moved from my small town to the huge ass city im in now i became self concious as fuck, being around so many people i was always nervous of what they thought of me. Now i just dont give a fuck because i know ill never meet any of them again. Its much easier to hang out and meet friends now.
Also you should seriously look into not giving a fuck for a while. Do shit that makes you happy, go get completely shitfaced. Go smoke shitloads of weed. Just let loose for a while then see how you feel after.
Oh and think about the moto that "you only live once" so you might as well have fun and enjoy the ride.
On November 16 2009 08:17 jimminy_kriket wrote: Stop giving a shit what random people think of you if you do. When i moved from my small town to the huge ass city im in now i became self concious as fuck, being around so many people i was always nervous of what they thought of me. Now i just dont give a fuck because i know ill never meet any of them again. Its much easier to hang out and meet friends now.
Also you should seriously look into not giving a fuck for a while. Do shit that makes you happy, go get completely shitfaced. Go smoke shitloads of weed. Just let loose for a while then see how you feel after.
Oh and think about the moto that "you only live once" so you might as well have fun and enjoy the ride.
Not that I agree with this post or anything, but it reminded me of this.
What I often do when I talk with someone is to see what other people have been getting into (like hobbies, what movies people have watched, what did they do that was particularly interesting).
When you say this to either your friends or attempting to find a girlfriend, really pick up from that and youll be surprised how many things you can learn. Afterwards you can then enjoy hobbies or interests or even going to other events with people.
Basic thing is to just go outside more and socialise with your surroundings. Thats most importnat in a world where communication is ever so expanding (btw your idea to post your troubles here is a good idea to ask for help)
Foucault, I am going to pick on you, only because among all the people in this thread who have posted "stop taking your meds" you explained your reasoning the most.
On November 16 2009 04:48 Foucault wrote: The reason my advice bothers you is because you are most likely clueless on the subject generally speaking. You are of the belief that there is an underlying serotonin deficiency in a depressed person, simple as that. Am I right? Anyways, my point is that the serotonin hypothesis that depression is pretty much a result of low serotonin has proven to be quite wrong. Serotonin plays in but it's far away from that clear-cut; all the transmittors play in, nutrition, EFA (EPA/DHA), exercise, activity, social circle etc.
Actually, the reason your advice bothers me (and perhaps Mora as well) is because you are not a doctor, you do not know OP, yet you advise him to stop taking the meds his doctor prescribed, because you seem to be totally certain that he doesn't need them. You state a lot of opinions and hypothesis (like "depression is not a result of low serotonin") as facts, and you don't really offer any evidence or credentials other than you did some research at university.
SSRI:s don't cure people, they numb you out. I have yet to hear anyone who feels good on their anti-depressant meds in the long run.
SSRI's are an excellent treatment for people who have a serotonin deficiency. They DO treat low serotonin levels and don't necessarily cause feelings of numbness (if that is what you meant). You now know of someone who feels good and is living a normal life on anti-depressants, me. In my case that particular treatment works well.
There has been so many reports and research on SSRI's and fact of the matter is that they are quite bad in terms of efficiency, where they usually score about the same as placebo AND workout/diet- changes.
There has indeed been a lot of research on the effects of SSRI's. In some studies they weren't effective, which suggests that they aren't the right treatment in some cases. On the other hand, other studies indicate they were effective in other cases. There isn't in fact any test given for a suspected serotonin deficiency, so it's not surprising that some of those suspected cases weren't low serotonin at all.
So then tell me why a person should eat a medication with a ton of side-effects, where some REALLY tough ones are erectile dysfunction (ie not having a sexlife) and loosing affect, ie feeling numbed out. Anti-depressants are in some cases causing suicidal thoughts, and the notion that a medicine that has existed for soon 30-40 years would be a cure-all is ridiculous.
Definitely, some people get the side effects you mention (ED, feeling numb, suicidal thoughts) from taking SSRI. Not everyone gets them, I for example don't have any side effects on a particular anti-depressant (others didn't work for me). Nobody in this thread thinks that any medication is a "cure all", it's just a treatment that helps some people.
Mora, no one NEEDS to be on meds. That's just based on your limited view on what depression is.
This is simply wrong. There are plenty of people with mental illness who need medication. Generalizing like this because medication didn't help you or the subjects of a certain study is just stupid. Mora's knowledge of depression is correct as far as I can tell from his posts.
Hell, you might as well eat vitamin B6 in high amounts daily, because it plays a essential role in forming serotonine.
This is partially right-- vitamin B6 is necessary to form serotonin from tryptophan. Taking it will help someone who has a deficiency of B6, but not someone whose serotonin is low for another reason. SSRI's treat the condition where the brain reabsorbs serotonin too quickly, which is a totally different reason for the deficiency.
Alot of the talk about SSRI's stem from medical companies, advertising and their hunt for money. To be frank.
This is quite true, drug companies go way overboard in selling their medicines, even putting advertisements on TV to convince healthy people that they need Zoloft because it makes little dot feel bouncy. It sickens me that pharma companies advertise their drugs like a commodity that you should buy if you have a headache or a blue mood. However...this doesn't make the drugs ineffective for treating the illness they get prescribed for.
If after trying all what you did you still get those bad-ass depressions I would say is not something in your mind, it can be something on your body.
I would suggest you check on your nutrition. I suffer from depressions but they are sporadic and I have found out by myself that it usually coincides with times when I am eating certain types of food or I havent got enough sleep during a certain period of time.
But you know, Doctors spend so much time of their lives to study those things that I highly doubt that going against what the doctor prescribed is going to help you at all, most of them are there to really help people, so dont stop taking the meds. just because some guy here told you to... a guy that you dont even know and that havent even made any check on you either.
I am one of those guys who is really weary of medicaments but I wouldnt say Medicine doesnt help people.
Sleep in, go get some fancy coffee, (or your preferred morning drink), get crazy baked and just enjoy your morning. If you've got a semi-active sex life, go nuts. Spend the whole bloody morning in bed doing whatever the hell you want with whoever you want. If you get bored, try some kinky shit you've never even heard of. What do you enjoy doing? DO IT! Fuck being productive for the day! When you start to lose your buzz, go out for a ridiculously good meal. What's your favorite food? Go out to a nice restaurant and gorge yourself on it. Pick something that looks amazing for desert, but that you'd normally not order cause of cost or diet. Order two of them. Get a massage. Go home and enjoy your hobbies without worrying about what you need to be doing the next few days. You need a break. Rinse and repeat!
Bottom line: Your body is an amusement park. Enjoy yourself!
Start skating! It's a really social, challenging and extremely fun sport. And you don't have to compete against others. It's a big family and is very friendly towards newcomers.
Just don't go in with the "i wanna be the best" attitude. Because it's about having fun thats the most important part. Go to your local skae hall, bring your board and start rolling. Also you should talk with someone. Generally skaters are really open towards eachother. Try talking with the older guys, because younger teens usually have the "I wanna become best, that guy sucks" syndrome which is just really sad.
I see you're finnish too. I dont know why, but finns always extremely talented in extreme spots. So I guess you have a good chance here Good luck!
imo it helps a lot to have a goal in mind. figure out what you really want to do, no matter how big or small the goal. then find ways to work towards it (baby steps helps a lot).
1. List out your values in life. relationships, friends, happiness, sports, spirituality, academics, etc. 2. Under those values list things you want to improve. 3. Focus on what you want to put in priority. 4. Set up a schedule or specific days you want to do things to work towards this priority. 5. Set up milestones along the lines to achieve this goal. 6. Work on tasks you set for yourself. 7. Achieve goal.
U should meditate. Sit for 1 hour straight and relax(at least 30 min). The thing is not to find some hobby or something to do. You should instead focus on why you are depressed. What is the cause and why is it so. Then find a solution for your problems.
First of all, be active. The worst periods of my life happened when I had nothing to accomplish. I work a lot and study at night. It keeps me active, feeling productive and gets me through the day.
Gaming should be obvious enough. I play Starcraft at IC CUP, Heroes of Newerth with my friends, sometimes fire up WoW and level some lowbie toon (hardcore raiding = bad for you!) - sometimes, I even play Solitaire or a single Chess game against the computer... lol. Gaming is great, but that's not news in a site like TL I guess.
I'm a very "party hard" guy, which is great because I live in one of the best places on earth to party - Rio de Janeiro. I can't fathom staying at home during the weekends. I go out, get apeshit drunk and hit on random chicks. It never gets boring if you're hanging out with people you enjoy. I really don't bother looking for a girlfriend right now. For me they are too troublesome, expensive and not worth it. It had to be someone absolutely special in a way I can't even believe it's possible to find. When I'm approaching my 30's I guess I'll think about that again.
In the past I used to read a lot - not so much nowadays because I keep myself busy, but I still think it's one of the best hobbies one can inherit. It depends on your taste for books of course. I started small, with the obvious Lord of the Rings-esque fantasy books, and advanced to more complex readings. Kafka and Bukowski are hands down my favorite writers of all time.
Been a drummer for the last 10 years of my life, too. Not enough free time for a band now (been in 3 bands in the past...), but I still pratice a lot. Once a week I take drumming classes. Musical theory is insanely annoying to most people, but for some reason, I'm absolutely in love with it. I'm a very musical guy who spends a lot of time listening, praticing and thinking of music, and not so much a TV or a movies guy.
As far as sports go, I don't pratice anything but enjoy watching MMA and, obviously, Pro Starcraft. I follow the ProLeague closely and sometimes do bother staying up at night to watch the games live. eSTRO fighting!
On November 15 2009 10:57 JohnColtrane wrote: get a girlfriend
No girl is going to be attracted to a depressed piece of shit. Trust me, I know. He's got to work on making HIMSELF better and work on loving himself and then the girls will follow. If he stays depressed and manages to find a girl, chances are that girl will also be depressed and the two of them will only bring each other down. Your comment is infuriating because if it isn't just being a shitty troll post then it's obvious you have no purpose posting here.
Once again, "getting a girlfriend" can not and will not help him become any less depressed. Relationships are a lot of work and finding the right one can mean going through a lot of wrong ones which in the end will only end up adding to his depression.
My advice is to find the right medication, do not give up! I was struggling with clinical depression for years until I managed to find a med (Celexa) that helped.
Check out The Conquest of Happiness by Bertrand Russell. tis good stuff
"My purpose is to suggest a cure for the ordinary day-to-day unhappiness from which most people in civilized countries suffer, and which is all the more unbearable because, having no obvious external cause, it appears inescapable."
Unfortunately I did not have that much time to read the whole thread so I apologise if I am asking a question that was already answered.
But do you remember any time in your life when you were genuinely happy? If yes, then why?
And you're to turn your back on alcohol, drinking that when you are depressed is a recipe for disaster. I would fall in line with the posts above that suggest that new activities won't address the underlying issues but only at best serve as a kind of palliative treatment.
On November 16 2009 08:17 jimminy_kriket wrote: Stop giving a shit what random people think of you if you do. When i moved from my small town to the huge ass city im in now i became self concious as fuck, being around so many people i was always nervous of what they thought of me. Now i just dont give a fuck because i know ill never meet any of them again. Its much easier to hang out and meet friends now.
Also you should seriously look into not giving a fuck for a while. Do shit that makes you happy, go get completely shitfaced. Go smoke shitloads of weed. Just let loose for a while then see how you feel after.
Oh and think about the moto that "you only live once" so you might as well have fun and enjoy the ride.
Not that I agree with this post or anything, but it reminded me of this.
no, jimminy said don't give a fuck what others think the video is talking about don't give a fuck about your problems(= don't solve them, but ignore them)
Haha well if u wanna be happy that`s the first thing you should try, also some things that really improved my life : i got a really challenging and fun job... and a nice hobby( salsa dancing ) and that`s been really fun ,you get to travel a lot and dance with tons of girls ... there are like hundreds of events every year ... and it helped me get a really hot girlfriend also ))) . But still you can do the dumbest shit and feel greeeeat if you want to and also do the best shit and feel like a shit :D . So my advice is try and be happy and don`t take shit so seriously . I hope you get fast.
In reply to OP: Dancing (ballroom or latin etc.) A pet can help (puppy or kitten etc.)
Whenever I feel stressed I go for a random walk for a few hours and always seem to end up in a cemetery, reading random gravestones, and just chilling. I always feel a lot calmer afterwards - more at peace.
eat healthy, exercise regularly and get a girlfriend. the exercise and eating healthy helps regulate your body better, better chemical balances in your brain.
getting a girlfriend gives you a) hobbies due to her probably wanting to do things with you and b) make your life less pathetic.
On November 19 2009 18:04 roronoe wrote: I was actually feeling okay about life. now after reading the OP I feel depressed about what I should be doing.
On November 15 2009 11:49 xDark.Carnivalx wrote: read the dark tower series by stephen king, the ending makes you all warm and fuzzy on the inside
i ve heard so much good about this book,.. how the heck i still haven't read it -.-
btw... can you "get a gf " losers finally shut up ? thxn
as if it were like that simple^^ (it sometimes is... mostly not)
you appear pretty lazy to me as well, why not just keep to one sport for at least a year (doing it regular 2/week at least, and almost never skip one)
you will get good in this sport and seeing yourself improving is really a fine thing to see, plus you get to know people or so, and gives you something to talk about!
choose 1 sport careful and stick to it like i said^^
then if you have the possibility learn cooking, i know some guys who can cook really good, thats truly cool. when i have the option its very high on my list , only topped by learning how to do proper massages ^^
if you dont like sport just stay at guitar,and try to get really good there, you can join bands then etc
Well me aswell like almost two years now, but i just keep my eyes wide open for the future (i know little cliche but it helps a lot) also i enjoy little things example, making food at home or simple be with friends time to time...
On November 18 2009 08:43 rekul wrote: What you need is religion. No other thing can give a sense of purpose to your live like having something to believe in.
I don't mean any offence by this, but I don't think your biggest problem is finding a hobby. It sounds like you've tried so many diferent things that eventually you'd find one thing that motivated you. I honestly think your problem lies within your own head. But then the problem is I have nothing to suggest about that, maybe you need to sit down with parents or a really close friend (cliche, I know.) because they know you much better than any therapist ever will, and just confess your darkest deepest problems and try and get to a route. Sounds like you have a psychological problem that's just grown untouched and maybe perhaps you don't even realize you have a condition.
Honestly I meant no offence by this post at all, but I would have said this to my own best friend if he was sitting here.
Well i sometimes feel depressed too. I think it is probably another case, cause i am in a complicated stage of live. I quit university after 3 semesters, i dont even know why (i was probably too lazy) and now i have a job that is not bad but doesn't satisfy me. I always had these dreams about achieving something and now i see how hard it actually is and sometimes i feel miserable. We broke up with my last gf in january and haven't had any since. And to be honest i actually don't want any right now. I meet many girls and i just feel like i can't be with them. Even if the girl is really into me and i like her i still end up not being with her cause of my negative thoughts. I think about things and i just end up with: well we can't be together for long, it wouldn't work fine between us anyways). One night stands are ok and enjoyable...but that really doesn't satisfy me.
So that was about me and now to the point: What really helps against depression is to stay busy and not have time to actually think about how depressing everything is. If you have enough time (seems like it), definately get a job. You meet new people there, get some exerience and it keeps you busy. But the trick is in working hard and enjoy it even if it is "bad job". Then you will have a good feeling from it. It will also provide you with money, which is always good. Also always try to be positive and look at things from the "light side" instead of the dark one. Work on yourself and every step you make forward will make you happy and help you to do another step. Talking with friends/people is hard for you because you are depressed/dead inside your mind. When i am depressed i have problems with talking even with my very good friends and i don't enjoy it. So first you have to be positive and feel good about yourself and then you will enjoy talking and spending time in society. I could go on and on.... The most important thing is finding what is it that make you depressed and try your best to fight with it and overcome it. Because the fact that you don't enjoy things in life doesn't make you depressed. You don't enjoy them, because you are depressed...i hope that makes sense to you. I always end up smoking bunch of cigarettes and stuff, so don't do that. That makes it even worse. I now look like some depressed person, but i am actually not and enjoying my life... but i just have many goals and very complicated thinking ways. That's why i always end up doing nothing because i think about it too much....Sometimes it is better to do things and not think about it... Well i hope it was understandable and i am sorry for my english.
Now when i talk about english it reminded me, that if nothing helps, you should just go to another country to study or work and it will absoulutely shift your mind....I spent a year studying school in the US and i was there this summer for 2 months and it really helps!
On November 20 2009 01:11 Dr.Lettuce wrote: I don't mean any offence by this, but I don't think your biggest problem is finding a hobby. It sounds like you've tried so many diferent things that eventually you'd find one thing that motivated you. I honestly think your problem lies within your own head. But then the problem is I have nothing to suggest about that, maybe you need to sit down with parents or a really close friend (cliche, I know.) because they know you much better than any therapist ever will, and just confess your darkest deepest problems and try and get to a route. Sounds like you have a psychological problem that's just grown untouched and maybe perhaps you don't even realize you have a condition.
Honestly I meant no offence by this post at all, but I would have said this to my own best friend if he was sitting here.
You should really try hanging around in parks and enjoy nature in general. I used to be depressed as hell (although not so severe as the OP) but after I switched universities I had to pass by a park everyday to go to school. I have no idea but it's refreshing even just walking through, even if it takes a minute. There's mothers and their children, office workers eating lunch, people bringing their dogs to the dog park inside the park, or people feeding the squirrels. It just randomly boosts your mood to see stuff like this and it helped me a ton.
Maybe you should get a pet like a dog? It might boost your mood to have a companion.
On November 15 2009 11:07 Hyperbola wrote: Dude, just be way more social. Make lots of friends and get a girlfriend. Set a goal for yourself and work your way to achieving it. Have a purpose in life that is greater than what you do day to day. Find yourself a hobby or two that gives you a positive feeling or an adrenaline rush, like surfing or mountain biking. Just go out there and try everything.
Do you really think hes in a position of being able to "be more social"? The problem is most likely a lack of exposure to people who are positive thinkers/close friends.
start talking more to your friends hanging out with them and talking about whatever... Me and my friends used to go to starbucks and kick it there till 1 am talking about nothing lol... Then again music or any kinda hobby that gets you relaxed would be cool I compose on piano so sometimes i get up at midnight and go play piano and kinda forget about my problems... It's not something that's gonna happen overnight but you'll start feeling better... Also one of your friends has to be the party boy/girl type so pick a weekend and go party man, even if it's not your thing you'll have fun ;] Don't get stressed about not having a gf... those things just happen. It's better to be by yourself than on a bad relationship for however long you can stand it GL & HF
One suggestion is start doing things for other people. People are happiest when they're being social and helping others improve and do well. I recommend volunteering and helping others. A study was published in the NEJM that showed that money DOES buy happiness, but ONLY if that money is spent helping others. Spending time improving not your life, but the lives of others can help dramatically. When patients start developing symptoms of depression, doctors have a standard way of helping them begin to improve. It uses an acroym called SPEAK
S Schedule (counteracts motivational deficits) P Pleasurable activities (counteracts anhedonia) E Exercise (short term mood enhancer; endorphins) A Assertiveness (counteracts doubts of own judgment and opinions) K Kind thoughts about oneself (counteracts negative irrational thoughts)
Try doing these for you self. I hope you improve. Let me know if you want any more "semi" professional advice
I was thinking about this again after I posted earlier today and I would think that a lot of my positive mood comes from listening to a lot of happy, upbeat, uplifting music. I listen to trance and that might not be your thing but, try finding really happy and fun songs to listen to.
Honestly, dude, life can be a fucking miserable and lonely experience. Oftentimes, when things are going the best, you can still feel the worst.
There are a multitude of organizations, religious and otherwise, that exist only to exploit and profit from the fear, hopelessness and desperation that accompany the human condition. Don't bother with any of them.
What makes life worth living is the fact that there are others around to share your misery. The connections that you make with friends, lovers and family are sources of solace.
We're all in this horrific, ugly world together. Human existence is either an absolutely hilarious practical joke by a God suffering from extreme boredom, or an absurd coincidence.
Either way, the only thing you can do when you're really hurting, when you have no fucking clue what to do, is to have a drink and laugh at it all. No one's really getting a leg up on anyone else. We're all going to pay taxes (probably horrifically exorbitant ones if you're living in Scandinavia) and we're all going to die.
Don't be a douchebag. Don't be a liar. Be a friend to your friends and a husband to your wife. That's all any of us can do.
Dont live by a rules and do whatever you wanted to do, as long as it is legal.
and never mind too much on criticism. If it is untrue, DISREGARD it. If it is unfair, STAY CALM. If it is ignorant, SMILE. If it is justified, LEARN from it. Best wish.
p/s: and dont forget to read this awesome books too: David deAngelo
This thread is pretty damn depressing. And believe me, I'm a negative person on myself, but this is beyond my imagination of negativeness. I really wish you get out of this, don't have good ideas on how to tho, as I'm quite negative on myself as I already stated. I guess its pretty much true about needing a lot of people + conversations tho, because whenever I have some good company I feel good etc bla instead of being negative.
On November 20 2009 01:11 Dr.Lettuce wrote: I don't mean any offence by this, but I don't think your biggest problem is finding a hobby. It sounds like you've tried so many diferent things that eventually you'd find one thing that motivated you. I honestly think your problem lies within your own head. But then the problem is I have nothing to suggest about that, maybe you need to sit down with parents or a really close friend (cliche, I know.) because they know you much better than any therapist ever will, and just confess your darkest deepest problems and try and get to a route. Sounds like you have a psychological problem that's just grown untouched and maybe perhaps you don't even realize you have a condition.
Honestly I meant no offence by this post at all, but I would have said this to my own best friend if he was sitting here.
I've tried to explain what i mean - but the words are not comming to me. the best i can do is say when a day is better than expected it will make you happy.
Also go out and seek opportunities. (Seems like you've done this with the hobby thing)
I didn't read the whole thread, so I don't know if this has been mentioned yet. You said you did get some enjoyment out of animal watching specifically things like squirrels, cats, and other small, cute, furry animals. Have you ever thought about getting one as a pet? Something like a cat, bunny, or hamster?
On November 20 2009 11:21 iNfeRnaL wrote: This thread is pretty damn depressing. And believe me, I'm a negative person on myself, but this is beyond my imagination of negativeness. I really wish you get out of this, don't have good ideas on how to tho, as I'm quite negative on myself as I already stated. I guess its pretty much true about needing a lot of people + conversations tho, because whenever I have some good company I feel good etc bla instead of being negative.
That is exactly how I felt.
Good luck man.
I hope you find something that makes you happy.
I was shit miserable (gf or not) until I was 21 just because of my outlook. After my son was born I was lucky enough to under go alot of changes. I think you need to find a way to push yourself out of your isolation chamber and find people to share conversations - food and music with.
All of them made me appreciate other people AND my own time much more.
A school mate pointed out something amazing to me yesterday. I've always like Chopin but when I heard this young man play him it strcuk me in a whole other way. He literally feels the music through his fingers. Yundi li plays Chopin, Nocturno op. 9 no. 66 I thought I'd make myself useful and post it here since I enjoyed it a lot.
On November 20 2009 11:21 iNfeRnaL wrote: I guess its pretty much true about needing a lot of people + conversations tho, because whenever I have some good company I feel good etc bla instead of being negative.
Yeah!
The key to happiness is being around people and engage in discussion. Unless you've got aspergers or don't feel that you get anything out of spending time with people
I'm 30, and I've time and time again noticed that the key to happiness is interaction with other human beings. It sparks the spirit and lights the fire of happiness inside of us.
Well our society has largely lied to you my friend and told us that we are meant to be perpetual teenagers our whole lives. Therefore we get left in this sort of half boy-half man purgatory with no goal in life nor anyone telling us what the hell we should be doing with our lives.
In every society apart from ours a boy grows to be man and this is something our society has messed up big time by creating something called adolescence. So now theres like 20 year old + men who are living pointless lives with no goal, perhaps smoking weed and drinking and having no responsibilities.
Do you know what you should do? Give up your countless hobbies and grow up.
If your bored your obviously not doing much that is productive.
There are 4 goals you must achieve over the next few years and these things will come together probably around the same time. Get to work
1) Undertake some form of training (university, college or on the job) for a career (a real career not a dead-end job) that you will enjoy and in an area your talented and actually COMPLETE the training/education fully.
2) Move out of your parent's house permanently. 3) When finished undertaking your desired training/education - get a job in that area - a full time job. (get a part time one if you can whilst undertaking education). 4) Find a girl you like, ask her out, be her boyfriend for a while then get married - then have children.
Hobbies are good in moderation but they can never satisfy nor make you grow as a human being.
On November 21 2009 08:16 TechniQ.UK wrote: Well our society has largely lied to you my friend and told us that we are meant to be perpetual teenagers our whole lives. Therefore we get left in this sort of half boy-half man purgatory with no goal in life nor anyone telling us what the hell we should be doing with our lives.
In every society apart from ours a boy grows to be man and this is something our society has messed up big time by creating something called adolescence. So now theres like 20 year old + men who are living pointless lives with no goal, perhaps smoking weed and drinking and having no responsibilities.
Do you know what you should do? Give up your countless hobbies and grow up.
If your bored your obviously not doing much that is productive.
There are 4 goals you must achieve over the next few years and these things will come together probably around the same time. Get to work
1) Undertake some form of training (university, college or on the job) for a career (a real career not a dead-end job) that you will enjoy and in an area your talented and actually COMPLETE the training/education fully.
2) Move out of your parent's house permanently. 3) When finished undertaking your desired training/education - get a job in that area - a full time job. (get a part time one if you can whilst undertaking education). 4) Find a girl you like, ask her out, be her boyfriend for a while then get married - then have children.
Hobbies are good in moderation but they can never satisfy nor make you grow as a human being.
holy fuck I would so hang myself. don't. do. this.
On November 21 2009 08:16 TechniQ.UK wrote: Well our society has largely lied to you my friend and told us that we are meant to be perpetual teenagers our whole lives. Therefore we get left in this sort of half boy-half man purgatory with no goal in life nor anyone telling us what the hell we should be doing with our lives.
In every society apart from ours a boy grows to be man and this is something our society has messed up big time by creating something called adolescence. So now theres like 20 year old + men who are living pointless lives with no goal, perhaps smoking weed and drinking and having no responsibilities.
Do you know what you should do? Give up your countless hobbies and grow up.
If your bored your obviously not doing much that is productive.
There are 4 goals you must achieve over the next few years and these things will come together probably around the same time. Get to work
1) Undertake some form of training (university, college or on the job) for a career (a real career not a dead-end job) that you will enjoy and in an area your talented and actually COMPLETE the training/education fully.
2) Move out of your parent's house permanently. 3) When finished undertaking your desired training/education - get a job in that area - a full time job. (get a part time one if you can whilst undertaking education). 4) Find a girl you like, ask her out, be her boyfriend for a while then get married - then have children.
Hobbies are good in moderation but they can never satisfy nor make you grow as a human being.
Yeah listen to this guy man, he will fix all your problems with his 4-step guide that is applicable to every single man in the entire world regardless of culture or background or financial attributes or even their own personality....
Life's what you make it bro. It might sound like I'm being an ass, but you're being a bitch, I battled with depression, and Isolation as well, but now I'm a professional broadcaster for FM (fuck srious, yea i know its better). Grab your nuts, and work out! Nothing battles depression like a good run, not even kidding, dont belive me? Try it out and tell me it doesn't make you feel better, if you're 500 pounds and cant run, then walk. 1 step at a time (Yea I sound like a jerk, but this is what got me motivated, Now I got a great Fiance, wonderful kid, and the best job ever, I Talk, and get paid).
The advice about getting a girlfriend isn't always true....
Just broke up with my gf a couple of weeks ago (2years together) and 2 days ago I found out she already has another... I'm just devasted I still love her... So if you're depression-prone, watch out with gf's :s
On November 15 2009 10:52 suxN wrote: I'm depressed, been on meds and psychiatrist for almost 2 years, still feeling like crab all the time.
Im figuring out, what are the stuff you enjoy doing? i'll give a list of different hobbies ive tried, but theyve left me cold.
Poker Starcraft (and alot of other computer games) Chess Soccer Icehockey Floorball Tennis Gym/jogging Reading/writing Drawing Cooking blacksmithing .. thats all that comes to mind right now.
Start a Korean pro gaming website for another game.... make moderate the hell out from the forums : D
you remind me of some weird movie where there was this rich girl that lived in isolation who has a hobby of collecting hobbies.... but i can't seem to remember
EPT
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