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One-Line Confessions - Page 133

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M155_G33k
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States470 Posts
October 05 2010 22:44 GMT
#2641
I act like I miss my deployed boyfriend all the time but in truth I only miss him at night when I sleep. Other then that, I don't miss him because I keep busy leaving me no real time to think about him and this makes me feel like a bad person sometimes. =\
"It can't be a NE Lan without any problems!" ~ "Starcraft is like sex. After a rough round, sometimes you just need that cigarette."
ELA
Profile Joined April 2010
Denmark4608 Posts
October 05 2010 23:23 GMT
#2642
I cheated on my current girlfriend with one of the (female) officers from my world of warcraft guild.
The first link of chain forged, the first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably.
swanized
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
Canada2480 Posts
October 05 2010 23:29 GMT
#2643
the night before some of the habs paly-offs games... I have dreams about who wins and who scored and it always comes true

I never kissed a girl
Writer
Thoreezhea1
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States532 Posts
October 05 2010 23:42 GMT
#2644
I have never had sex or kissed a girl. I have never been high or drunk. I have never been beyond bronze for valid reasons. ( during the immense lag of patch 13 I got placed in platinum for placement, people just left their games.) The first game I ever played was starfox supernintendo.
What the Fu- REAPERS?!
FrostShadow
Profile Joined August 2010
United States335 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-10-05 23:50:26
October 05 2010 23:44 GMT
#2645
I once cheated on a math test, with my best friend's gf. He hasnt tutored me since.
BentoBox
Profile Joined November 2009
Canada303 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-10-06 00:00:28
October 06 2010 00:00 GMT
#2646
On October 06 2010 08:29 swanized wrote:
the night before some of the habs paly-offs games... I have dreams about who wins and who scored and it always comes true

I never kissed a girl


Lol. The habs always lose. :D
Only dead fish swim with the stream
Dagobert
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Netherlands1858 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-10-06 00:32:39
October 06 2010 00:28 GMT
#2647
On October 06 2010 08:44 FrostShadow wrote:
I once cheated on a math test, with my best friend's gf. He hasnt tutored me since.

You cheated on a math test and someone doesn't tutor you anymore? Huh?

My parents don't know I smoke weed occasionally and don't suspect anything since I despise when people smoke tobacco.
Masamune
Profile Joined January 2007
Canada3401 Posts
October 06 2010 00:32 GMT
#2648
I read it as he cheated with his best friend's gf ON the physical copy of a math test and the best friend hasn't tutored him since
mOnion
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States5660 Posts
October 06 2010 00:35 GMT
#2649
On October 05 2010 07:04 Shiragaku wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 05 2010 03:34 LSGamer wrote:
I had sex with my next door neighbour, while dating her best friend. Nobody but me and my ex know.

T_T I do not think this thread is about strutting your manliness, rather, it is about telling something that is so or dangerous embarrassing that you would never tell anyone in real life to prevent your life from going downhill
In fact, some of these "confessions" seem to want us to think you are doing this
[image loading]
And what you are doing in real life.
[image loading]


EDIT: I guess telling people that confession could ruin your relationship but the aura of someone strutting his manliness is still there.


you know ugly people have sex too? I'm sure of it cuz they keep popping up no matter how many laws I try to pass

in fact, they have more sex than attractive people do, because 1: there are more of them, 2: they wanna feel good cuz they're fucking ugly.
☆★☆ 7486!!! Join the Ban mOnion Anti-Trolling Initiative! - Caller | "on a scale of machine to 10, how bad is that Zerg?" - LZgamer | you are the new tl.net bonjwa monion, congrats - Rekrul | "Cheeseburgers dynamite lilacs" - Chill
Impervious
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada4222 Posts
October 06 2010 00:47 GMT
#2650
I met a girl in a party in London (Ontario) in the early part of the summer. She's in Toronto, and I was in Guelph for the summer, and we ended up meeting up at least 2 times a week for the rest of the summer.....

I moved back to Ottawa over a month ago, and I still haven't told her, even though she's been calling and texting me daily wondering when I'm available to fuck again..... And I have no clue how to break it to her.....
~ \(ˌ)im-ˈpər-vē-əs\ : not capable of being damaged or harmed.
Archas
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States6531 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-10-06 00:51:23
October 06 2010 00:50 GMT
#2651
On October 06 2010 07:41 Chimpychomp wrote:
i sing along to Jpop(and murder the language) while i play SC2 :S


I do too, except the difference is that I fucking own the language. I only know a smattering of Japanese so far, but I have the pronunciation down, so I can at least sing the lyrics coherently.

Then again, my singing is bad enough to fell an ox at twenty paces, so I still have some hurdles to clear. T_T

EDIT:
On October 06 2010 09:35 mOnion wrote:
you know ugly people have sex too? I'm sure of it cuz they keep popping up no matter how many laws I try to pass.

That's almost sigworthy.

Almost.
The room is ripe with the stench of bitches!
summerloud
Profile Joined March 2010
Austria1201 Posts
October 06 2010 00:55 GMT
#2652
i took so much acid that i realized how shitty everything is and now i m depressed
DAttEBay0
Profile Joined July 2010
Canada19 Posts
October 06 2010 01:02 GMT
#2653
I was watching a sc replay, not even that big of a deal, two no name koreans really. But anywyas I had a case of bad diarrhea, I wanted to watch this rep because the armies were clashing finally, and I underestimated the diarrhea. I got up to run to the washroom while holding my ass and trying to get to the toilet before my ass could explode. I got to the toilet as i was exploding and the fucking top part fell back down because everything was rushed, so i exploded all over the cover part. Diarrhea all over the place, thank god my gf wasnt home. But i probably wouldnt have prolonged it so long if my gf was home.
DATTEBAYO!
Bebop07
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States291 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-10-06 01:18:34
October 06 2010 01:16 GMT
#2654
I'll throw a decent one out there. I have bowel problems..pretty much every shit I take clogs the toilet. Not majorly but..I gotta use a plunger. This is even if I go every day. Anyways..my toilet somehow has adapted to my gigantic turds(not even joking) and is pretty much the only one that can handle my loads without completely overflowing. So I spend the night at my sisters house one night...yeah..had been a few days since I had done the deed and that thing had grown into a full grown baby. So I give birth in her toilet and it obv isn't going down. I keep flushing, plungering, everything. It just keeps overflowing..shit everywhere. This goes on for about 45 minutes and by then theres about a quarter of an inch of liquid shit filling the bathroom. I wake her up and tell her and she basically gives me this giant bucket to keep filling my shit soup in, then throw it outside in the rocks. I keep doing it, even putting on a glove and trying to scoop out my own feces with my hand inside the toilet. Nothings working. Eventually we just give up and call a plumber at like 5 AM. But I literally was in her bathroom almost foot deep in my own shit plungering for about 2 hours. Just..horrible man. At least it was my own though lol. Also had to spend about an hour or so cleaning it all up and scrubbing the entire bathroom down.
Flavalanche
Profile Joined May 2010
United States164 Posts
October 06 2010 01:21 GMT
#2655
I'm actually not very good at CS:S
Sup.
BaltA
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Norway849 Posts
October 06 2010 01:23 GMT
#2656
On October 06 2010 10:16 Bebop07 wrote:
I'll throw a decent one out there. I have bowel problems..pretty much every shit I take clogs the toilet. Not majorly but..I gotta use a plunger. This is even if I go every day. Anyways..my toilet somehow has adapted to my gigantic turds(not even joking) and is pretty much the only one that can handle my loads without completely overflowing. So I spend the night at my sisters house one night...yeah..had been a few days since I had done the deed and that thing had grown into a full grown baby. So I give birth in her toilet and it obv isn't going down. I keep flushing, plungering, everything. It just keeps overflowing..shit everywhere. This goes on for about 45 minutes and by then theres about a quarter of an inch of liquid shit filling the bathroom. I wake her up and tell her and she basically gives me this giant bucket to keep filling my shit soup in, then throw it outside in the rocks. I keep doing it, even putting on a glove and trying to scoop out my own feces with my hand inside the toilet. Nothings working. Eventually we just give up and call a plumber at like 5 AM. But I literally was in her bathroom almost foot deep in my own shit plungering for about 2 hours. Just..horrible man. At least it was my own though lol. Also had to spend about an hour or so cleaning it all up and scrubbing the entire bathroom down.



I was laughing through the whole post! hahahahaha
meeple
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
Canada10211 Posts
October 06 2010 01:25 GMT
#2657
On October 06 2010 10:16 Bebop07 wrote:
I'll throw a decent one out there. I have bowel problems..pretty much every shit I take clogs the toilet. Not majorly but..I gotta use a plunger. This is even if I go every day. Anyways..my toilet somehow has adapted to my gigantic turds(not even joking) and is pretty much the only one that can handle my loads without completely overflowing. So I spend the night at my sisters house one night...yeah..had been a few days since I had done the deed and that thing had grown into a full grown baby. So I give birth in her toilet and it obv isn't going down. I keep flushing, plungering, everything. It just keeps overflowing..shit everywhere. This goes on for about 45 minutes and by then theres about a quarter of an inch of liquid shit filling the bathroom. I wake her up and tell her and she basically gives me this giant bucket to keep filling my shit soup in, then throw it outside in the rocks. I keep doing it, even putting on a glove and trying to scoop out my own feces with my hand inside the toilet. Nothings working. Eventually we just give up and call a plumber at like 5 AM. But I literally was in her bathroom almost foot deep in my own shit plungering for about 2 hours. Just..horrible man. At least it was my own though lol. Also had to spend about an hour or so cleaning it all up and scrubbing the entire bathroom down.


Ahaha... awesome... I've given turd birth before... but I do the double flush...
Bebop07
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States291 Posts
October 06 2010 01:32 GMT
#2658
On October 06 2010 10:25 meeple wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 06 2010 10:16 Bebop07 wrote:
I'll throw a decent one out there. I have bowel problems..pretty much every shit I take clogs the toilet. Not majorly but..I gotta use a plunger. This is even if I go every day. Anyways..my toilet somehow has adapted to my gigantic turds(not even joking) and is pretty much the only one that can handle my loads without completely overflowing. So I spend the night at my sisters house one night...yeah..had been a few days since I had done the deed and that thing had grown into a full grown baby. So I give birth in her toilet and it obv isn't going down. I keep flushing, plungering, everything. It just keeps overflowing..shit everywhere. This goes on for about 45 minutes and by then theres about a quarter of an inch of liquid shit filling the bathroom. I wake her up and tell her and she basically gives me this giant bucket to keep filling my shit soup in, then throw it outside in the rocks. I keep doing it, even putting on a glove and trying to scoop out my own feces with my hand inside the toilet. Nothings working. Eventually we just give up and call a plumber at like 5 AM. But I literally was in her bathroom almost foot deep in my own shit plungering for about 2 hours. Just..horrible man. At least it was my own though lol. Also had to spend about an hour or so cleaning it all up and scrubbing the entire bathroom down.


Ahaha... awesome... I've given turd birth before... but I do the double flush...
Explain to me this technique.
TekKpriest
Profile Joined March 2010
308 Posts
October 06 2010 01:45 GMT
#2659
i came
A Man chooses, a slave obeys
slimmjimm
Profile Joined July 2010
United States3 Posts
October 06 2010 01:49 GMT
#2660
Both my older siblings managed to become successful professionally and in their personal/social lives, but I don't think I've ever accomplished anything worth talking about in either case. everyone seems to think it's because i'm extremely lazy (pot everyday in highschool will do that to ya), but the truth is i just don't care about anything or anyone beyond what is absolutely necessary to go day to day.

I also used to believe all these crazy conspiracy theories but at this point i realize it doesn't even matter anymore since we all gotta die sometime (but it would be cool if some monumental shift occurs in 2012 wouldnt it?). welcome to my cheery upbeat existence.
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