One-Line Confessions - Page 111

On August 29 2010 19:32 arb wrote:

oh yeah my bad, i forgot all about it splashing up.
happens to me sometimes so now ive changed my mind and id never do it

On August 31 2010 12:48 junemermaid wrote:


There's toilet paper already in the toilet, you know, after you wipe your wee wee. The shit does not splatter. If there isn't toilet paper in there, you can toss about 5-8 squares in there and the shit will not splash. I think it is aesthetically pleasing to see piss and shit going down the drain at the same time.
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While on the subject of poop...

I've shit in my pants in 3 separate occasions, one where I was literally seconds away from the toilet at a Baker's Square.

Another time was during a car trip in Georgia. I was about 13 years old and we pulled over on the side of the highway so I could drop trou. A police officer approached the car and asked if anything was wrong. She did not see the steaming pile of fecal matter. There wasn't any water to wash my ass with, but we did have 7up and diet 7up. Needless to say that was quite an uncomfortable car ride home.

EDIT: I just brought it up with my mom, and she said I was crying and kept saying that it was burning. I don't remember that part, but it was pretty traumatic for me, so who knows.

The third time was in an elevator in my college dorm (I was alone in it thankfully!). I was holding my shit in during class and I raced back home to my dorm. I didn't want to use the public bathroom cuz I knew it was going to make a mess. As the door was opening on my floor, I just spilled my ass all over my favorite shirt. I took a shower thanking god my roommate wasn't there, and tossed the clothes down the garbage chute, no bag.

On August 30 2010 01:01 willkillson wrote:
I lost my virginity at 11 in a bathroom, it was more tragic than it should have been.

On August 31 2010 12:57 arb wrote:

You wipe your dick with toilet paper?...

On August 31 2010 16:14 junemermaid wrote:


Thought that was pretty normal. If you don't, you get leaky dick with residual piss in your boxers. It is quite annoying. I give it a good yank or two to get out piss stuck in the shaft as well.

On August 31 2010 16:14 junemermaid wrote:


Thought that was pretty normal. If you don't, you get leaky dick with residual piss in your boxers. It is quite annoying. I give it a good yank or two to get out piss stuck in the shaft as well.

On August 31 2010 16:45 TheGrimace wrote:


I've never heard of someone wiping his dick. Not to be too graphic, but the slit is pretty effective when stopping the piss, then you shake. Then you're done. Nothing drips. Try spitting out a bit of water. I bet your face doesn't end up wet. Same thing, only that's the only function of your dick. So, yeah...

On August 31 2010 23:00 FecalFrown wrote:
This page is phenomenal.

Continuing on the subject of poop, how many of you fold, and how many of you ball the toilet paper up like a child and wipe your ass with it?

I had always been taught to fold, and the concept of balling it up had been totally lost in the recesses of my mind. Then, my freshman year of college, one of my friends I had met that year explained to me that he wiped his ass that way (even better, he used the multiple sides of the same ball, carefully avoiding holding the poopy parts) and it struck a chord. I seriously have never laughed that hard before or since. I was quite literally incapacitated for upwards of 10 minutes. I just couldn't believe it.

Pretty much like this:
+ Show Spoiler +

On August 31 2010 23:00 FecalFrown wrote:
This page is phenomenal.

Continuing on the subject of poop, how many of you fold, and how many of you ball the toilet paper up like a child and wipe your ass with it?

I had always been taught to fold, and the concept of balling it up had been totally lost in the recesses of my mind. Then, my freshman year of college, one of my friends I had met that year explained to me that he wiped his ass that way (even better, he used the multiple sides of the same ball, carefully avoiding holding the poopy parts) and it struck a chord. I seriously have never laughed that hard before or since. I was quite literally incapacitated for upwards of 10 minutes. I just couldn't believe it.

Pretty much like this:
+ Show Spoiler +

On August 31 2010 23:00 FecalFrown wrote:
This page is phenomenal.

Continuing on the subject of poop, how many of you fold, and how many of you ball the toilet paper up like a child and wipe your ass with it?

I had always been taught to fold, and the concept of balling it up had been totally lost in the recesses of my mind. Then, my freshman year of college, one of my friends I had met that year explained to me that he wiped his ass that way (even better, he used the multiple sides of the same ball, carefully avoiding holding the poopy parts) and it struck a chord. I seriously have never laughed that hard before or since. I was quite literally incapacitated for upwards of 10 minutes. I just couldn't believe it.

Pretty much like this:
+ Show Spoiler +