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was browsing gotfrag and came across this.
Suposed to be old but here it is ^^
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa, (Cheerleader Captain and Class Valedictorian) during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night and again this morning, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven, and thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!!!"
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LOOOOOOOOL hahahah nice one.
hahahah I can't believe it hahah xD
LOOOOOOOL
Oh man, that was fucking nice haha xD
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how old is this again? im too lazy to search.
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My English instructor read this to the class last year. I think the end was different though, I don't think he succeeded in sleeping with the girl in the version I heard, but otherwise its pretty much the same.
Funny stuff though. I had a paper of stupid/funny things people wrote in AP US History exams that just about killed me the first time I read it. Maybe I should try to dig it up, no doubt its on the net somewhere.
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lol are u serious thats awesome never seen it anywhere 
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here is another similar college exercise that i thought was very funny
Remember the book - "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well, here is a true life example from the Phoenix College. An English Professor assigned his students to a joint writing exercise that quickly degraded.
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"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right.
As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on, back and forth.
Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of the English students:
Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).
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THE STORY:
(First paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
(Second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17", he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks that pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires that were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semiliterate adolescent.
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F***ING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
(Rebecca)
Asshole.
(Gary)
Bitch.
(Rebecca)
Get screwed.
(Gary)
Eat shit.
(Rebecca)
SCREW YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
(Gary)
GO DRINK SOME TEA - Bitch.
**********************************************
(TEACHER) A+ - I really liked this one. Only group to get an A.
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Ok, OT about hell is old as hell(lol) and has been posted several times...
The "drink some tea - bitch" is also old, but unleast funny!
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Vatican City State1872 Posts
Someone post the essays about Walt Whitman and the Tiannamen Square Massacre. I think the essays were written by a "nguyen" or something vietnamese like that.
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On July 14 2006 03:11 CrownRoyal wrote:
Someone post the essays about Walt Whitman and the Tiannamen Square Massacre. I think the essays were written by a "nguyen" or something vietnamese like that.
Random funny facts about the surname 'Nguyen':
-Two fifths of the population in Vietnam has the surname Nguyen.
-It's remotely popular surname in the united states as well. (Surpassing Douglas. fe.)
-It's quite popular in France (due to Vietnam being colonized by the french).
-There was a guy called Nguyen in my platoon. (Finnish army, mind you.)
So finding 'a guy called nguyen, or something' might prove out to be quite hard 
-j
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lol. good one.. I used to learn in chemistry fire itself is exothermic. Because of it, the surrounding temperature rises and itself is losing heat all the time until the chemical fuel is totally exhausted... I think that doesn't make it cold still because you are considered the surrounding eh?
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wow i have never heard the first one but i found it funny as hell lol
and the second one posted was kinda funny but i read it 10 times already -_-;;
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On July 14 2006 01:00 i.lOve.pearL wrote:
how old is this again? im too lazy to search.
very very very
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On July 14 2006 03:33 juggelo wrote:Random funny facts about the surname 'Nguyen': -Two fifths of the population in Vietnam has the surname Nguyen. -It's remotely popular surname in the united states as well. (Surpassing Douglas. fe.) -It's quite popular in France (due to Vietnam being colonized by the french). -There was a guy called Nguyen in my platoon. (Finnish army, mind you.) So finding 'a guy called nguyen, or something' might prove out to be quite hard -j
i knew a guy named Nguyen Nguyen
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More than 8 years old. I first read this around 1997. It's even been posted on tl.net before iirc.
The essay thing has also been posted on tl.net, more recently.
Both are ok, but i'm not really going to laugh again.
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I knoew an arabic guy named Yousif Yousif. We used to call him "Yousif-squared"
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Yeah this has been everywhere. I first saw it as a junior in high school, so I'd have been 16, I am now 24. So it has been 8 years, and it was probably old when I saw it, so lets go with 12 years old.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://img20.photobucket.com/albums/v60/profmadhatter/nguyen1.jpg)
