The PUA community - Page 119

On March 27 2012 01:32 Snotling wrote:
Tyler Durden had a youtube channel?

On March 27 2012 23:40 SeXyBaCk wrote:
Maybe someone in the 'scene' can elaborate how they feel about pickup in regard to their general life's progress. So the goal is the skill, as you put it Casa. And once you feel you have mastered it, and gotten laid plenty, what happens then? Is this a phase of your life you will put in your CV? Tell your parents about or future wife/wives/employers? How long will you do this for, until none of your close friends are remotely your age anymore?

I get the feeling PUA is sold as some kind of lifestyle, is it really though? Not more a phase you can get away with in your early 20s when you're free, hopefully out of college, have a little money to play with and no real responsibilities? I get the whole...drive to be more attractive and i also appreciate that people feel they don't get the attention they deserve or have the success they want with women. I'm all for guys learning to be more comfortable in their skin, and it's a kind of therapy, probably similiarly effective than going to see a psychiatrist 5 times a week for psychotherapy.

But ... I feel you can only get away with any of this in your early twenties. Eventually you're going to have to grow up, cause all of the halfway intelligent attractive women I know my age (28) will cringe and laugh at a man who practices lines and psychology on how to get in someones good book. It's very immature. And life is more than simple interactions, kissing or fucking. I think that's something that needs to be in the back of your head if youre into the whole PUA thing.

Finally the whole alpha vs beta issue. It's nonsensical theory to me. But even if your goal is to become an alpha male, just by constantly measuring your success on how well you do with females, that benchmark along has a very submissive ring to me.

Oh and who was the gal in the pics with the pornstar? I feel ive seen her around somewhere. I used to work at UCLA MC.

On March 27 2012 23:40 SeXyBaCk wrote:Maybe someone in the 'scene' can elaborate how they feel about pickup in regard to their general life's progress. So the goal is the skill, as you put it Casa. And once you feel you have mastered it, and gotten laid plenty, what happens then? Is this a phase of your life you will put in your CV? Tell your parents about or future wife/wives/employers?

On March 27 2012 23:40 SeXyBaCk wrote:How long will you do this for, until none of your close friends are remotely your age anymore?

On March 27 2012 23:40 SeXyBaCk wrote:But ... I feel you can only get away with any of this in your early twenties. Eventually you're going to have to grow up, cause all of the halfway intelligent attractive women I know my age (28) will cringe and laugh at a man who practices lines and psychology on how to get in someones good book.

That's a non-sequitur. Your dating life doesn't necessarily impact your relationship with your close friends, unless you want it to.

One think I can tell you is that pickup is not just for people in their 20's. There are a ton of people in their 30s and 40s doing pickup. I went to the Seattle lair and I swear to god half the people there were in their 40s. You might target a different age group of women when you get older. Probably not going to be hitting on the 18 year olds when you are 30 and 40, there are still plenty of cougars out there loooool. But seriously, if you are 40 and you never got this handled.... what other option do you have? Sit out the rest of your live being sterile?

On March 28 2012 23:47 SeXyBaCk wrote:
Do you put "seduction" as an interest in your CV? Really what I meant is this a covert pastime of yours or do your friends (those that don't do pickup) and family know about it? I don't know about your family but my mother and sister for instance have always been awfully curious and judgemental about my dating life. The more private you keep it the more curious they tend to get. Mum's want their son's to marry and make grandchildren. That's just how the cookie crumbles. it's a sort of social pressure that I'd say 95% of men have coming their way once they get into their late 20's.

Interestingly enough I heard this expression before "getting this area of my life handled", like dealing with women and courting is a tedious matter that needs working on, not unlike taking driving lessons. I understand that is the PUA philosophy that it takes work and effort.



I think you will be surprised to eventually find out how judgemental, maybe not your closest friends but members of your nearer social circle can turn out to be. It just so happens once you're in your late 20s, you start going to weddings, if you don't, your friends start having children, they can't go out anymore, nighttime activity has to become daytime activity (if you still want to see your friends), you need to sort of have dates to go to weddings or dinner parties, what people do for fun changes. Also I can't stay up all night boozing and go to work at 7 the next morning, my body can't take it anymore. What I'm trying to say is people move on from that early 20s lets go to a club mentality and what is considered a good time changes as we get older.



Don't you just laugh though when you see a guy at a club in his 40s trying to chat up girls that are barely 21? Apart from that, past the first 5 minutes a 20 year old girl, what do they have to say to you tonight to keep you interested? Their head is in a difference place. At least it should be. What I'm saying is you don't want to become that creepy old guy at the club that hasn't grown up.

There's just that progression of life that unarguably takes place:child.. school...university...young adult/playtime...adulthood/marriage/career/family/responsibility/mortgage ...golfing & times shares. Okay you can opt to live differently indeed, but most likely everyone you know your age today will go down that path. It also happens to be what most woman want/expect out of life, and from you.

I'm not familiar with the term of impression management. But my experience has taught me that a woman aged 28 is far less impressionable than a girl of 19. We all try and act cool in our late teens early 20s around girls, but the older you get the better feedback you get just be being upfront and yourself. Then again...I can imagine it all depends on where you're coming from. At this point I would rather have a stimulating conversation with one woman even if she's not going to put out anytime soon, than have two 20 year olds be all in awe of me and trying to get my attention. But i guess if you never had enough of that experience, it's what you need right now. Eventually you'll get over it.

I think men in particular but also women need to go through that playing phase, it's part of growing up. I doubt it teaches you anything for later in life, probably just bad habits while establishing unproductive or pathologic emotional structures. I regret a lot of things I did when I was 20-24, stuff I told women, occasionally cutting them off, acting like a douche, sometimes lying. Therefore, enjoy it while it lasts. Get it all out of your system. Ultimately it probably does make you a better person and treat the people you eventually really care about with the dignity and respect they deserve.

On March 29 2012 03:57 squattincassanova wrote:
"You guys are the hottest girls I have seen .... *pause*..... in the last five minutes". Its one of my funny openers. Some girls get super offended, and some girls crack up laughing. Right then you can see who has a fun personality and a sense of humor and whos got a stick up their ass.

On March 29 2012 03:57 squattincassanova wrote:



Sounds like a lot of excuses. Either you want to do it or you don't. Simple as that.

1. Don't tell your friends about pickup. Yes people will judge you for it. If they don't understand you, why should they know? Keep it a secret if you have to. People are just offended at the concept of pickup. But nobody is going to give a shit that you are in the club talking to people, which is really what it boils down to.

2. Of course there are sacrifices in pickup. If it was easy, every ugly loser would be dating playboy playmates. Its just a path or journey out there, doesn't mean its for everyone. For me, pickup has negatively impacted my work life. For one, all I do is day dream about pickup and my dates while at work. I am also terrible at time management and I spend way too much time playing video games, making youtube videos, and posting on forums lol. But with proper time management, you can fit in going out 2 nights a week, Friday/Saturday. And no drinking. So technically it shouldn't affect work at all if you do it right. But again, its up to you to make it happen.

3. Who cares if it feels weird that you are 40 and hitting up on girls 20 years old. From your development point of view. Who cares? If you care about what people think about you.... pick up is NOT for you lol. Cuz you are going to get blown out of thousands of sets and some times the girls can be down right rude and belligerent. So yeah, if you care about what people think and you want to be successful at pickup, you better learn how to not give a shit REAL quick.

4. Stop caring about what other people think of you, and what you think of other people. A cold approach is random. Some times the best conversations come out where you least expect it. Some times you can meet an 18 year old who is super mature. Some times you can meet a 40 year old whos completely retarded. Its all random and its the luck of the draw. Just go into a set open with a blank slate and see where it takes you. Some times you can use the same fucking opener, one girl will fucking get angry, and another girl would be giving me a great big smile. This one opener:

"You guys are the hottest girls I have seen .... *pause*..... in the last five minutes". Its one of my funny openers. Some girls get super offended, and some girls crack up laughing. Right then you can see who has a fun personality and a sense of humor and whos got a stick up their ass.

On March 29 2012 05:27 storkfan wrote:

Look, you misunderstand it, you have it the wrong way around. You are like trying to put the cart in front of the horse. Just chasing after women as a goal is short sighted. The real goal ought to be to build a successful career, work hard and be productive. And women come as a reward for that. You see, when you get your business and finances smooth, the second follows up naturally, as a satisfied working man is a natural PUA without any schooling or practice. The only need for practice comes from frustration and low confidence of self achievement at job, that which is ones real duty to achieve in this world!

But if you end up practicing chasing women and PUA stuff without full confidence and satisfaction in your career, it will never lead to the true goal, and the PUA will end up going in circles, trying to fullfil himself with women but never achieving it whatever hot the girls may be, as he is trying to skip the actual work in order to get directly to dessert.

On March 29 2012 05:27 storkfan wrote:

Look, you misunderstand it, you have it the wrong way around. You are like trying to put the cart in front of the horse. Just chasing after women as a goal is short sighted. The real goal ought to be to build a successful career, work hard and be productive. And women come as a reward for that. You see, when you get your business and finances smooth, the second follows up naturally, as a satisfied working man is a natural PUA without any schooling or practice. The only need for practice comes from frustration and low confidence of self achievement at job, that which is ones real duty to achieve in this world!

But if you end up practicing chasing women and PUA stuff without full confidence and satisfaction in your career, it will never lead to the true goal, and the PUA will end up going in circles, trying to fullfil himself with women but never achieving it whatever hot the girls may be, as he is trying to skip the actual work in order to get directly to dessert.

its cause the girls your going for dont care about a degree. ur going for the dumb club chicks. thats why. go for a decent chick with a brain and it will probably matter

On March 28 2012 23:47 SeXyBaCk wrote:
Do you put "seduction" as an interest in your CV?

On March 28 2012 23:47 SeXyBaCk wrote:I don't know about your family but my mother and sister for instance have always been awfully curious and judgemental about my dating life. The more private you keep it the more curious they tend to get. Mum's want their son's to marry and make grandchildren. That's just how the cookie crumbles. it's a sort of social pressure that I'd say 95% of men have coming their way once they get into their late 20's.

On March 28 2012 23:47 SeXyBaCk wrote:
I think you will be surprised to eventually find out how judgemental, maybe not your closest friends but members of your nearer social circle can turn out to be.

On March 28 2012 23:47 SeXyBaCk wrote:
It just so happens once you're in your late 20s, you start going to weddings, if you don't, your friends start having children, they can't go out anymore, nighttime activity has to become daytime activity (if you still want to see your friends), you need to sort of have dates to go to weddings or dinner parties, what people do for fun changes.

On March 28 2012 23:47 SeXyBaCk wrote:
Also I can't stay up all night boozing and go to work at 7 the next morning, my body can't take it anymore. What I'm trying to say is people move on from that early 20s lets go to a club mentality and what is considered a good time changes as we get older.

Sounds like a lot of excuses. Either you want to do it or you don't. Simple as that.

1. Don't tell your friends about pickup. Yes people will judge you for it. If they don't understand you, why should they know? Keep it a secret if you have to. People are just offended at the concept of pickup. But nobody is going to give a shit that you are in the club talking to people, which is really what it boils down to.

2. Of course there are sacrifices in pickup. If it was easy, every ugly loser would be dating playboy playmates. Its just a path or journey out there, doesn't mean its for everyone. For me, pickup has negatively impacted my work life. For one, all I do is day dream about pickup and my dates while at work. I am also terrible at time management and I spend way too much time playing video games, making youtube videos, and posting on forums lol. But with proper time management, you can fit in going out 2 nights a week, Friday/Saturday. And no drinking. So technically it shouldn't affect work at all if you do it right. But again, its up to you to make it happen.

3. Who cares if it feels weird that you are 40 and hitting up on girls 20 years old. From your development point of view. Who cares? If you care about what people think about you.... pick up is NOT for you lol. Cuz you are going to get blown out of thousands of sets and some times the girls can be down right rude and belligerent. So yeah, if you care about what people think and you want to be successful at pickup, you better learn how to not give a shit REAL quick.

4. Stop caring about what other people think of you, and what you think of other people. A cold approach is random. Some times the best conversations come out where you least expect it. Some times you can meet an 18 year old who is super mature. Some times you can meet a 40 year old whos completely retarded. Its all random and its the luck of the draw. Just go into a set open with a blank slate and see where it takes you. Some times you can use the same fucking opener, one girl will fucking get angry, and another girl would be giving me a great big smile. This one opener:

On March 29 2012 06:53 sunprince wrote:Do you put serious romantic one-on-one dating in your CV? Watching porn? Going to strip clubs?

On March 29 2012 22:16 SeXyBaCk wrote:
This whole PUA stuff becomes a lifestyle once you start going to seminars travel to places and meet up with others. And every lifestyle comes with sacrifices, that is my point. Hiding your entire lifestyle doesn't work, you shouldn't have to.

On March 29 2012 23:12 nRoot wrote:
You sure know a lot about girls, try talking to smart ones sometimes though

I've had plenty of good conversations with girls that involve logic, dunno where your experience comes from but honestly