|
|
Maybe someone in the 'scene' can elaborate how they feel about pickup in regard to their general life's progress. So the goal is the skill, as you put it Casa. And once you feel you have mastered it, and gotten laid plenty, what happens then? Is this a phase of your life you will put in your CV? Tell your parents about or future wife/wives/employers? How long will you do this for, until none of your close friends are remotely your age anymore?
I get the feeling PUA is sold as some kind of lifestyle, is it really though? Not more a phase you can get away with in your early 20s when you're free, hopefully out of college, have a little money to play with and no real responsibilities? I get the whole...drive to be more attractive and i also appreciate that people feel they don't get the attention they deserve or have the success they want with women. I'm all for guys learning to be more comfortable in their skin, and it's a kind of therapy, probably similiarly effective than going to see a psychiatrist 5 times a week for psychotherapy.
But ... I feel you can only get away with any of this in your early twenties. Eventually you're going to have to grow up, cause all of the halfway intelligent attractive women I know my age (28) will cringe and laugh at a man who practices lines and psychology on how to get in someones good book. It's very immature. And life is more than simple interactions, kissing or fucking. I think that's something that needs to be in the back of your head if youre into the whole PUA thing.
Finally the whole alpha vs beta issue. It's nonsensical theory to me. But even if your goal is to become an alpha male, just by constantly measuring your success on how well you do with females, that benchmark along has a very submissive ring to me.
Oh and who was the gal in the pics with the pornstar? I feel ive seen her around somewhere. I used to work at UCLA MC.
|
On March 27 2012 23:40 SeXyBaCk wrote: Maybe someone in the 'scene' can elaborate how they feel about pickup in regard to their general life's progress. So the goal is the skill, as you put it Casa. And once you feel you have mastered it, and gotten laid plenty, what happens then? Is this a phase of your life you will put in your CV? Tell your parents about or future wife/wives/employers? How long will you do this for, until none of your close friends are remotely your age anymore?
I get the feeling PUA is sold as some kind of lifestyle, is it really though? Not more a phase you can get away with in your early 20s when you're free, hopefully out of college, have a little money to play with and no real responsibilities? I get the whole...drive to be more attractive and i also appreciate that people feel they don't get the attention they deserve or have the success they want with women. I'm all for guys learning to be more comfortable in their skin, and it's a kind of therapy, probably similiarly effective than going to see a psychiatrist 5 times a week for psychotherapy.
But ... I feel you can only get away with any of this in your early twenties. Eventually you're going to have to grow up, cause all of the halfway intelligent attractive women I know my age (28) will cringe and laugh at a man who practices lines and psychology on how to get in someones good book. It's very immature. And life is more than simple interactions, kissing or fucking. I think that's something that needs to be in the back of your head if youre into the whole PUA thing.
Finally the whole alpha vs beta issue. It's nonsensical theory to me. But even if your goal is to become an alpha male, just by constantly measuring your success on how well you do with females, that benchmark along has a very submissive ring to me.
Oh and who was the gal in the pics with the pornstar? I feel ive seen her around somewhere. I used to work at UCLA MC.
I'm 1.4 years into the game. I'm not far enough to tell you where it eventually leads me. Not sure where I will be in 5 years. Hopefully I wont be doing pick up 5 years later in the sense that I go out every week to clubs and bars. I want to eventually make a lot of money and travel 
One think I can tell you is that pickup is not just for people in their 20's. There are a ton of people in their 30s and 40s doing pickup. I went to the Seattle lair and I swear to god half the people there were in their 40s. You might target a different age group of women when you get older. Probably not going to be hitting on the 18 year olds when you are 30 and 40, there are still plenty of cougars out there loooool. But seriously, if you are 40 and you never got this handled.... what other option do you have? Sit out the rest of your live being sterile?
I still look young enough that I can pick up even 18 year olds and still feel not awkward, lucky I am Asian and I still look young haha. I am almost 29 but damn, it feels like I just got out of college. I still remember back in 2001 when I was chatting on the bnet forums. I would say being 25 - 30 is probably the best age for pickup. You are old enough to be financially independent, but you are also young enough to hang with people in all age groups.
The whole alpha / beta thing... its more just an internet persona for me. I rarely think about the concept of alpha ever when I go out. Other than working out, I really don't think about it. I think a lot of it is beta guys trying to over compensate. Guys who really get good with women, don't even need to try and act alpha. Some times showing your vulnerability to a woman is a good thing. For example, at the end of rapport building, telling a girl a vulnerability about you that you never told anyone can bring her really close to you and actually have her connect with you more. Its funny being macho and alpha or at least having that persona can actually hurt you in the game. There is a big difference between not being submissive and leading vs. the macho man concept.
|
On March 27 2012 23:40 SeXyBaCk wrote:Maybe someone in the 'scene' can elaborate how they feel about pickup in regard to their general life's progress. So the goal is the skill, as you put it Casa. And once you feel you have mastered it, and gotten laid plenty, what happens then? Is this a phase of your life you will put in your CV? Tell your parents about or future wife/wives/employers?
Since when does anyone include their (past of present) sex life in their CV, or talk about it with their parents or employers?
As for future wives, they would have already known that I've spent some time studying seduction, since I already tell girlfriends now and have no plans to discontinue doing so.
On March 27 2012 23:40 SeXyBaCk wrote:How long will you do this for, until none of your close friends are remotely your age anymore?
That's a non-sequitur. Your dating life doesn't necessarily impact your relationship with your close friends, unless you want it to.
On March 27 2012 23:40 SeXyBaCk wrote:But ... I feel you can only get away with any of this in your early twenties. Eventually you're going to have to grow up, cause all of the halfway intelligent attractive women I know my age (28) will cringe and laugh at a man who practices lines and psychology on how to get in someones good book.
Everyone practices impression management. Pick-up artists have simply studied how to do it better. None of this implies "practicing lines" beyond the most inexperienced beginners.
|
Do you put "seduction" as an interest in your CV? Really what I meant is this a covert pastime of yours or do your friends (those that don't do pickup) and family know about it? I don't know about your family but my mother and sister for instance have always been awfully curious and judgemental about my dating life. The more private you keep it the more curious they tend to get. Mum's want their son's to marry and make grandchildren. That's just how the cookie crumbles. it's a sort of social pressure that I'd say 95% of men have coming their way once they get into their late 20's.
Interestingly enough I heard this expression before "getting this area of my life handled", like dealing with women and courting is a tedious matter that needs working on, not unlike taking driving lessons. I understand that is the PUA philosophy that it takes work and effort.
That's a non-sequitur. Your dating life doesn't necessarily impact your relationship with your close friends, unless you want it to.
I think you will be surprised to eventually find out how judgemental, maybe not your closest friends but members of your nearer social circle can turn out to be. It just so happens once you're in your late 20s, you start going to weddings, if you don't, your friends start having children, they can't go out anymore, nighttime activity has to become daytime activity (if you still want to see your friends), you need to sort of have dates to go to weddings or dinner parties, what people do for fun changes. Also I can't stay up all night boozing and go to work at 7 the next morning, my body can't take it anymore. What I'm trying to say is people move on from that early 20s lets go to a club mentality and what is considered a good time changes as we get older.
One think I can tell you is that pickup is not just for people in their 20's. There are a ton of people in their 30s and 40s doing pickup. I went to the Seattle lair and I swear to god half the people there were in their 40s. You might target a different age group of women when you get older. Probably not going to be hitting on the 18 year olds when you are 30 and 40, there are still plenty of cougars out there loooool. But seriously, if you are 40 and you never got this handled.... what other option do you have? Sit out the rest of your live being sterile?
Don't you just laugh though when you see a guy at a club in his 40s trying to chat up girls that are barely 21? Apart from that, past the first 5 minutes a 20 year old girl, what do they have to say to you tonight to keep you interested? Their head is in a difference place. At least it should be. What I'm saying is you don't want to become that creepy old guy at the club that hasn't grown up.
There's just that progression of life that unarguably takes place:child.. school...university...young adult/playtime...adulthood/marriage/career/family/responsibility/mortgage ...golfing & times shares. Okay you can opt to live differently indeed, but most likely everyone you know your age today will go down that path. It also happens to be what most woman want/expect out of life, and from you.
I'm not familiar with the term of impression management. But my experience has taught me that a woman aged 28 is far less impressionable than a girl of 19. We all try and act cool in our late teens early 20s around girls, but the older you get the better feedback you get just be being upfront and yourself. Then again...I can imagine it all depends on where you're coming from. At this point I would rather have a stimulating conversation with one woman even if she's not going to put out anytime soon, than have two 20 year olds be all in awe of me and trying to get my attention. But i guess if you never had enough of that experience, it's what you need right now. Eventually you'll get over it.
I think men in particular but also women need to go through that playing phase, it's part of growing up. I doubt it teaches you anything for later in life, probably just bad habits while establishing unproductive or pathologic emotional structures. I regret a lot of things I did when I was 20-24, stuff I told women, occasionally cutting them off, acting like a douche, sometimes lying. Therefore, enjoy it while it lasts. Get it all out of your system. Ultimately it probably does make you a better person and treat the people you eventually really care about with the dignity and respect they deserve.
|
On March 28 2012 23:47 SeXyBaCk wrote:Do you put "seduction" as an interest in your CV? Really what I meant is this a covert pastime of yours or do your friends (those that don't do pickup) and family know about it? I don't know about your family but my mother and sister for instance have always been awfully curious and judgemental about my dating life. The more private you keep it the more curious they tend to get. Mum's want their son's to marry and make grandchildren. That's just how the cookie crumbles. it's a sort of social pressure that I'd say 95% of men have coming their way once they get into their late 20's. Interestingly enough I heard this expression before "getting this area of my life handled", like dealing with women and courting is a tedious matter that needs working on, not unlike taking driving lessons. I understand that is the PUA philosophy that it takes work and effort. Show nested quote +That's a non-sequitur. Your dating life doesn't necessarily impact your relationship with your close friends, unless you want it to. I think you will be surprised to eventually find out how judgemental, maybe not your closest friends but members of your nearer social circle can turn out to be. It just so happens once you're in your late 20s, you start going to weddings, if you don't, your friends start having children, they can't go out anymore, nighttime activity has to become daytime activity (if you still want to see your friends), you need to sort of have dates to go to weddings or dinner parties, what people do for fun changes. Also I can't stay up all night boozing and go to work at 7 the next morning, my body can't take it anymore. What I'm trying to say is people move on from that early 20s lets go to a club mentality and what is considered a good time changes as we get older. Show nested quote +One think I can tell you is that pickup is not just for people in their 20's. There are a ton of people in their 30s and 40s doing pickup. I went to the Seattle lair and I swear to god half the people there were in their 40s. You might target a different age group of women when you get older. Probably not going to be hitting on the 18 year olds when you are 30 and 40, there are still plenty of cougars out there loooool. But seriously, if you are 40 and you never got this handled.... what other option do you have? Sit out the rest of your live being sterile? Don't you just laugh though when you see a guy at a club in his 40s trying to chat up girls that are barely 21? Apart from that, past the first 5 minutes a 20 year old girl, what do they have to say to you tonight to keep you interested? Their head is in a difference place. At least it should be. What I'm saying is you don't want to become that creepy old guy at the club that hasn't grown up. There's just that progression of life that unarguably takes place:child.. school...university...young adult/playtime...adulthood/marriage/career/family/responsibility/mortgage ...golfing & times shares. Okay you can opt to live differently indeed, but most likely everyone you know your age today will go down that path. It also happens to be what most woman want/expect out of life, and from you. I'm not familiar with the term of impression management. But my experience has taught me that a woman aged 28 is far less impressionable than a girl of 19. We all try and act cool in our late teens early 20s around girls, but the older you get the better feedback you get just be being upfront and yourself. Then again...I can imagine it all depends on where you're coming from. At this point I would rather have a stimulating conversation with one woman even if she's not going to put out anytime soon, than have two 20 year olds be all in awe of me and trying to get my attention. But i guess if you never had enough of that experience, it's what you need right now. Eventually you'll get over it. I think men in particular but also women need to go through that playing phase, it's part of growing up. I doubt it teaches you anything for later in life, probably just bad habits while establishing unproductive or pathologic emotional structures. I regret a lot of things I did when I was 20-24, stuff I told women, occasionally cutting them off, acting like a douche, sometimes lying. Therefore, enjoy it while it lasts. Get it all out of your system. Ultimately it probably does make you a better person and treat the people you eventually really care about with the dignity and respect they deserve.
Sounds like a lot of excuses. Either you want to do it or you don't. Simple as that.
1. Don't tell your friends about pickup. Yes people will judge you for it. If they don't understand you, why should they know? Keep it a secret if you have to. People are just offended at the concept of pickup. But nobody is going to give a shit that you are in the club talking to people, which is really what it boils down to.
2. Of course there are sacrifices in pickup. If it was easy, every ugly loser would be dating playboy playmates. Its just a path or journey out there, doesn't mean its for everyone. For me, pickup has negatively impacted my work life. For one, all I do is day dream about pickup and my dates while at work. I am also terrible at time management and I spend way too much time playing video games, making youtube videos, and posting on forums lol. But with proper time management, you can fit in going out 2 nights a week, Friday/Saturday. And no drinking. So technically it shouldn't affect work at all if you do it right. But again, its up to you to make it happen.
3. Who cares if it feels weird that you are 40 and hitting up on girls 20 years old. From your development point of view. Who cares? If you care about what people think about you.... pick up is NOT for you lol. Cuz you are going to get blown out of thousands of sets and some times the girls can be down right rude and belligerent. So yeah, if you care about what people think and you want to be successful at pickup, you better learn how to not give a shit REAL quick.
4. Stop caring about what other people think of you, and what you think of other people. A cold approach is random. Some times the best conversations come out where you least expect it. Some times you can meet an 18 year old who is super mature. Some times you can meet a 40 year old whos completely retarded. Its all random and its the luck of the draw. Just go into a set open with a blank slate and see where it takes you. Some times you can use the same fucking opener, one girl will fucking get angry, and another girl would be giving me a great big smile. This one opener:
"You guys are the hottest girls I have seen .... *pause*..... in the last five minutes". Its one of my funny openers. Some girls get super offended, and some girls crack up laughing. Right then you can see who has a fun personality and a sense of humor and whos got a stick up their ass.
|
On March 29 2012 03:57 squattincassanova wrote: "You guys are the hottest girls I have seen .... *pause*..... in the last five minutes". Its one of my funny openers. Some girls get super offended, and some girls crack up laughing. Right then you can see who has a fun personality and a sense of humor and whos got a stick up their ass.
Daummmm!
Youre good I take my shit back. I never thought of an opener like that.
|
On March 29 2012 03:57 squattincassanova wrote:Show nested quote +On March 28 2012 23:47 SeXyBaCk wrote:Do you put "seduction" as an interest in your CV? Really what I meant is this a covert pastime of yours or do your friends (those that don't do pickup) and family know about it? I don't know about your family but my mother and sister for instance have always been awfully curious and judgemental about my dating life. The more private you keep it the more curious they tend to get. Mum's want their son's to marry and make grandchildren. That's just how the cookie crumbles. it's a sort of social pressure that I'd say 95% of men have coming their way once they get into their late 20's. Interestingly enough I heard this expression before "getting this area of my life handled", like dealing with women and courting is a tedious matter that needs working on, not unlike taking driving lessons. I understand that is the PUA philosophy that it takes work and effort. That's a non-sequitur. Your dating life doesn't necessarily impact your relationship with your close friends, unless you want it to. I think you will be surprised to eventually find out how judgemental, maybe not your closest friends but members of your nearer social circle can turn out to be. It just so happens once you're in your late 20s, you start going to weddings, if you don't, your friends start having children, they can't go out anymore, nighttime activity has to become daytime activity (if you still want to see your friends), you need to sort of have dates to go to weddings or dinner parties, what people do for fun changes. Also I can't stay up all night boozing and go to work at 7 the next morning, my body can't take it anymore. What I'm trying to say is people move on from that early 20s lets go to a club mentality and what is considered a good time changes as we get older. One think I can tell you is that pickup is not just for people in their 20's. There are a ton of people in their 30s and 40s doing pickup. I went to the Seattle lair and I swear to god half the people there were in their 40s. You might target a different age group of women when you get older. Probably not going to be hitting on the 18 year olds when you are 30 and 40, there are still plenty of cougars out there loooool. But seriously, if you are 40 and you never got this handled.... what other option do you have? Sit out the rest of your live being sterile? Don't you just laugh though when you see a guy at a club in his 40s trying to chat up girls that are barely 21? Apart from that, past the first 5 minutes a 20 year old girl, what do they have to say to you tonight to keep you interested? Their head is in a difference place. At least it should be. What I'm saying is you don't want to become that creepy old guy at the club that hasn't grown up. There's just that progression of life that unarguably takes place:child.. school...university...young adult/playtime...adulthood/marriage/career/family/responsibility/mortgage ...golfing & times shares. Okay you can opt to live differently indeed, but most likely everyone you know your age today will go down that path. It also happens to be what most woman want/expect out of life, and from you. I'm not familiar with the term of impression management. But my experience has taught me that a woman aged 28 is far less impressionable than a girl of 19. We all try and act cool in our late teens early 20s around girls, but the older you get the better feedback you get just be being upfront and yourself. Then again...I can imagine it all depends on where you're coming from. At this point I would rather have a stimulating conversation with one woman even if she's not going to put out anytime soon, than have two 20 year olds be all in awe of me and trying to get my attention. But i guess if you never had enough of that experience, it's what you need right now. Eventually you'll get over it. I think men in particular but also women need to go through that playing phase, it's part of growing up. I doubt it teaches you anything for later in life, probably just bad habits while establishing unproductive or pathologic emotional structures. I regret a lot of things I did when I was 20-24, stuff I told women, occasionally cutting them off, acting like a douche, sometimes lying. Therefore, enjoy it while it lasts. Get it all out of your system. Ultimately it probably does make you a better person and treat the people you eventually really care about with the dignity and respect they deserve. Sounds like a lot of excuses. Either you want to do it or you don't. Simple as that. 1. Don't tell your friends about pickup. Yes people will judge you for it. If they don't understand you, why should they know? Keep it a secret if you have to. People are just offended at the concept of pickup. But nobody is going to give a shit that you are in the club talking to people, which is really what it boils down to. 2. Of course there are sacrifices in pickup. If it was easy, every ugly loser would be dating playboy playmates. Its just a path or journey out there, doesn't mean its for everyone. For me, pickup has negatively impacted my work life. For one, all I do is day dream about pickup and my dates while at work. I am also terrible at time management and I spend way too much time playing video games, making youtube videos, and posting on forums lol. But with proper time management, you can fit in going out 2 nights a week, Friday/Saturday. And no drinking. So technically it shouldn't affect work at all if you do it right. But again, its up to you to make it happen. 3. Who cares if it feels weird that you are 40 and hitting up on girls 20 years old. From your development point of view. Who cares? If you care about what people think about you.... pick up is NOT for you lol. Cuz you are going to get blown out of thousands of sets and some times the girls can be down right rude and belligerent. So yeah, if you care about what people think and you want to be successful at pickup, you better learn how to not give a shit REAL quick. 4. Stop caring about what other people think of you, and what you think of other people. A cold approach is random. Some times the best conversations come out where you least expect it. Some times you can meet an 18 year old who is super mature. Some times you can meet a 40 year old whos completely retarded. Its all random and its the luck of the draw. Just go into a set open with a blank slate and see where it takes you. Some times you can use the same fucking opener, one girl will fucking get angry, and another girl would be giving me a great big smile. This one opener: "You guys are the hottest girls I have seen .... *pause*..... in the last five minutes". Its one of my funny openers. Some girls get super offended, and some girls crack up laughing. Right then you can see who has a fun personality and a sense of humor and whos got a stick up their ass. Look, you misunderstand it, you have it the wrong way around. You are like trying to put the cart in front of the horse. Just chasing after women as a goal is short sighted. The real goal ought to be to build a successful career, work hard and be productive. And women come as a reward for that. You see, when you get your business and finances smooth, the second follows up naturally, as a satisfied working man is a natural PUA without any schooling or practice. The only need for practice comes from frustration and low confidence of self achievement at job, that which is ones real duty to achieve in this world!
But if you end up practicing chasing women and PUA stuff without full confidence and satisfaction in your career, it will never lead to the true goal, and the PUA will end up going in circles, trying to fullfil himself with women but never achieving it whatever hot the girls may be, as he is trying to skip the actual work in order to get directly to dessert.
|
On March 29 2012 05:27 storkfan wrote:Show nested quote +On March 29 2012 03:57 squattincassanova wrote:On March 28 2012 23:47 SeXyBaCk wrote:Do you put "seduction" as an interest in your CV? Really what I meant is this a covert pastime of yours or do your friends (those that don't do pickup) and family know about it? I don't know about your family but my mother and sister for instance have always been awfully curious and judgemental about my dating life. The more private you keep it the more curious they tend to get. Mum's want their son's to marry and make grandchildren. That's just how the cookie crumbles. it's a sort of social pressure that I'd say 95% of men have coming their way once they get into their late 20's. Interestingly enough I heard this expression before "getting this area of my life handled", like dealing with women and courting is a tedious matter that needs working on, not unlike taking driving lessons. I understand that is the PUA philosophy that it takes work and effort. That's a non-sequitur. Your dating life doesn't necessarily impact your relationship with your close friends, unless you want it to. I think you will be surprised to eventually find out how judgemental, maybe not your closest friends but members of your nearer social circle can turn out to be. It just so happens once you're in your late 20s, you start going to weddings, if you don't, your friends start having children, they can't go out anymore, nighttime activity has to become daytime activity (if you still want to see your friends), you need to sort of have dates to go to weddings or dinner parties, what people do for fun changes. Also I can't stay up all night boozing and go to work at 7 the next morning, my body can't take it anymore. What I'm trying to say is people move on from that early 20s lets go to a club mentality and what is considered a good time changes as we get older. One think I can tell you is that pickup is not just for people in their 20's. There are a ton of people in their 30s and 40s doing pickup. I went to the Seattle lair and I swear to god half the people there were in their 40s. You might target a different age group of women when you get older. Probably not going to be hitting on the 18 year olds when you are 30 and 40, there are still plenty of cougars out there loooool. But seriously, if you are 40 and you never got this handled.... what other option do you have? Sit out the rest of your live being sterile? Don't you just laugh though when you see a guy at a club in his 40s trying to chat up girls that are barely 21? Apart from that, past the first 5 minutes a 20 year old girl, what do they have to say to you tonight to keep you interested? Their head is in a difference place. At least it should be. What I'm saying is you don't want to become that creepy old guy at the club that hasn't grown up. There's just that progression of life that unarguably takes place:child.. school...university...young adult/playtime...adulthood/marriage/career/family/responsibility/mortgage ...golfing & times shares. Okay you can opt to live differently indeed, but most likely everyone you know your age today will go down that path. It also happens to be what most woman want/expect out of life, and from you. I'm not familiar with the term of impression management. But my experience has taught me that a woman aged 28 is far less impressionable than a girl of 19. We all try and act cool in our late teens early 20s around girls, but the older you get the better feedback you get just be being upfront and yourself. Then again...I can imagine it all depends on where you're coming from. At this point I would rather have a stimulating conversation with one woman even if she's not going to put out anytime soon, than have two 20 year olds be all in awe of me and trying to get my attention. But i guess if you never had enough of that experience, it's what you need right now. Eventually you'll get over it. I think men in particular but also women need to go through that playing phase, it's part of growing up. I doubt it teaches you anything for later in life, probably just bad habits while establishing unproductive or pathologic emotional structures. I regret a lot of things I did when I was 20-24, stuff I told women, occasionally cutting them off, acting like a douche, sometimes lying. Therefore, enjoy it while it lasts. Get it all out of your system. Ultimately it probably does make you a better person and treat the people you eventually really care about with the dignity and respect they deserve. Sounds like a lot of excuses. Either you want to do it or you don't. Simple as that. 1. Don't tell your friends about pickup. Yes people will judge you for it. If they don't understand you, why should they know? Keep it a secret if you have to. People are just offended at the concept of pickup. But nobody is going to give a shit that you are in the club talking to people, which is really what it boils down to. 2. Of course there are sacrifices in pickup. If it was easy, every ugly loser would be dating playboy playmates. Its just a path or journey out there, doesn't mean its for everyone. For me, pickup has negatively impacted my work life. For one, all I do is day dream about pickup and my dates while at work. I am also terrible at time management and I spend way too much time playing video games, making youtube videos, and posting on forums lol. But with proper time management, you can fit in going out 2 nights a week, Friday/Saturday. And no drinking. So technically it shouldn't affect work at all if you do it right. But again, its up to you to make it happen. 3. Who cares if it feels weird that you are 40 and hitting up on girls 20 years old. From your development point of view. Who cares? If you care about what people think about you.... pick up is NOT for you lol. Cuz you are going to get blown out of thousands of sets and some times the girls can be down right rude and belligerent. So yeah, if you care about what people think and you want to be successful at pickup, you better learn how to not give a shit REAL quick. 4. Stop caring about what other people think of you, and what you think of other people. A cold approach is random. Some times the best conversations come out where you least expect it. Some times you can meet an 18 year old who is super mature. Some times you can meet a 40 year old whos completely retarded. Its all random and its the luck of the draw. Just go into a set open with a blank slate and see where it takes you. Some times you can use the same fucking opener, one girl will fucking get angry, and another girl would be giving me a great big smile. This one opener: "You guys are the hottest girls I have seen .... *pause*..... in the last five minutes". Its one of my funny openers. Some girls get super offended, and some girls crack up laughing. Right then you can see who has a fun personality and a sense of humor and whos got a stick up their ass. Look, you misunderstand it, you have it the wrong way around. You are like trying to put the cart in front of the horse. Just chasing after women as a goal is short sighted. The real goal ought to be to build a successful career, work hard and be productive. And women come as a reward for that. You see, when you get your business and finances smooth, the second follows up naturally, as a satisfied working man is a natural PUA without any schooling or practice. The only need for practice comes from frustration and low confidence of self achievement at job, that which is ones real duty to achieve in this world! But if you end up practicing chasing women and PUA stuff without full confidence and satisfaction in your career, it will never lead to the true goal, and the PUA will end up going in circles, trying to fullfil himself with women but never achieving it whatever hot the girls may be, as he is trying to skip the actual work in order to get directly to dessert.
Uh most people are not successful at anything to be honest. Like Tyler says, most people live life like a dazing drone. Just because you are successful at work, does not mean you will be successful with women. There are plenty of students that get training with DJ Fuji who make quarter million a year at software companies in silicon valley. You can easily say they got their career handled. But where are the girls at? Conversely, I could say getting good with women will help you more at work.
There are a lot of people who think what you're thinking. "Oh if I get educated, if I get a good job, if I get this.... then girls will come". Not necessarily true. I thought that too myself too. Hey if I got my chemical engineering degree, if I started bodybuilding, if I got a decent job, I would have girls all around me no problem. Until I started approaching, none of that mattered. I did not get a single girl just by having a degree, a good job, and a physique. Don't get me wrong, having money and a great lifestyle will "help", if you already have some game.... but it will not completely substitute game.
Keep in mind, doing pick up for many becomes fun. Its not necessarily about chasing women, its not about filling a void anymore. Some times, its genuinely fun going out. Like having a good interaction for the night can be satisfying as playing a close Starcraft game. If nothing else, it really just is fun. And even if you didn't have goals, it can be the point where its just fun. Like during the weekdays when I am thinking about the weekend. I am not thinking "I can't wait till Friday, so I can fill the void in my heart". Its omg, Friday is going to be awesome, because I will have a lot of fun, and I am going on a date with blah blah blah on Sunday.
|
its cause the girls your going for dont care about a degree. ur going for the dumb club chicks. thats why. go for a decent chick with a brain and it will probably matter
|
On March 29 2012 05:27 storkfan wrote:Show nested quote +On March 29 2012 03:57 squattincassanova wrote:On March 28 2012 23:47 SeXyBaCk wrote:Do you put "seduction" as an interest in your CV? Really what I meant is this a covert pastime of yours or do your friends (those that don't do pickup) and family know about it? I don't know about your family but my mother and sister for instance have always been awfully curious and judgemental about my dating life. The more private you keep it the more curious they tend to get. Mum's want their son's to marry and make grandchildren. That's just how the cookie crumbles. it's a sort of social pressure that I'd say 95% of men have coming their way once they get into their late 20's. Interestingly enough I heard this expression before "getting this area of my life handled", like dealing with women and courting is a tedious matter that needs working on, not unlike taking driving lessons. I understand that is the PUA philosophy that it takes work and effort. That's a non-sequitur. Your dating life doesn't necessarily impact your relationship with your close friends, unless you want it to. I think you will be surprised to eventually find out how judgemental, maybe not your closest friends but members of your nearer social circle can turn out to be. It just so happens once you're in your late 20s, you start going to weddings, if you don't, your friends start having children, they can't go out anymore, nighttime activity has to become daytime activity (if you still want to see your friends), you need to sort of have dates to go to weddings or dinner parties, what people do for fun changes. Also I can't stay up all night boozing and go to work at 7 the next morning, my body can't take it anymore. What I'm trying to say is people move on from that early 20s lets go to a club mentality and what is considered a good time changes as we get older. One think I can tell you is that pickup is not just for people in their 20's. There are a ton of people in their 30s and 40s doing pickup. I went to the Seattle lair and I swear to god half the people there were in their 40s. You might target a different age group of women when you get older. Probably not going to be hitting on the 18 year olds when you are 30 and 40, there are still plenty of cougars out there loooool. But seriously, if you are 40 and you never got this handled.... what other option do you have? Sit out the rest of your live being sterile? Don't you just laugh though when you see a guy at a club in his 40s trying to chat up girls that are barely 21? Apart from that, past the first 5 minutes a 20 year old girl, what do they have to say to you tonight to keep you interested? Their head is in a difference place. At least it should be. What I'm saying is you don't want to become that creepy old guy at the club that hasn't grown up. There's just that progression of life that unarguably takes place:child.. school...university...young adult/playtime...adulthood/marriage/career/family/responsibility/mortgage ...golfing & times shares. Okay you can opt to live differently indeed, but most likely everyone you know your age today will go down that path. It also happens to be what most woman want/expect out of life, and from you. I'm not familiar with the term of impression management. But my experience has taught me that a woman aged 28 is far less impressionable than a girl of 19. We all try and act cool in our late teens early 20s around girls, but the older you get the better feedback you get just be being upfront and yourself. Then again...I can imagine it all depends on where you're coming from. At this point I would rather have a stimulating conversation with one woman even if she's not going to put out anytime soon, than have two 20 year olds be all in awe of me and trying to get my attention. But i guess if you never had enough of that experience, it's what you need right now. Eventually you'll get over it. I think men in particular but also women need to go through that playing phase, it's part of growing up. I doubt it teaches you anything for later in life, probably just bad habits while establishing unproductive or pathologic emotional structures. I regret a lot of things I did when I was 20-24, stuff I told women, occasionally cutting them off, acting like a douche, sometimes lying. Therefore, enjoy it while it lasts. Get it all out of your system. Ultimately it probably does make you a better person and treat the people you eventually really care about with the dignity and respect they deserve. Sounds like a lot of excuses. Either you want to do it or you don't. Simple as that. 1. Don't tell your friends about pickup. Yes people will judge you for it. If they don't understand you, why should they know? Keep it a secret if you have to. People are just offended at the concept of pickup. But nobody is going to give a shit that you are in the club talking to people, which is really what it boils down to. 2. Of course there are sacrifices in pickup. If it was easy, every ugly loser would be dating playboy playmates. Its just a path or journey out there, doesn't mean its for everyone. For me, pickup has negatively impacted my work life. For one, all I do is day dream about pickup and my dates while at work. I am also terrible at time management and I spend way too much time playing video games, making youtube videos, and posting on forums lol. But with proper time management, you can fit in going out 2 nights a week, Friday/Saturday. And no drinking. So technically it shouldn't affect work at all if you do it right. But again, its up to you to make it happen. 3. Who cares if it feels weird that you are 40 and hitting up on girls 20 years old. From your development point of view. Who cares? If you care about what people think about you.... pick up is NOT for you lol. Cuz you are going to get blown out of thousands of sets and some times the girls can be down right rude and belligerent. So yeah, if you care about what people think and you want to be successful at pickup, you better learn how to not give a shit REAL quick. 4. Stop caring about what other people think of you, and what you think of other people. A cold approach is random. Some times the best conversations come out where you least expect it. Some times you can meet an 18 year old who is super mature. Some times you can meet a 40 year old whos completely retarded. Its all random and its the luck of the draw. Just go into a set open with a blank slate and see where it takes you. Some times you can use the same fucking opener, one girl will fucking get angry, and another girl would be giving me a great big smile. This one opener: "You guys are the hottest girls I have seen .... *pause*..... in the last five minutes". Its one of my funny openers. Some girls get super offended, and some girls crack up laughing. Right then you can see who has a fun personality and a sense of humor and whos got a stick up their ass. Look, you misunderstand it, you have it the wrong way around. You are like trying to put the cart in front of the horse. Just chasing after women as a goal is short sighted. The real goal ought to be to build a successful career, work hard and be productive. And women come as a reward for that. You see, when you get your business and finances smooth, the second follows up naturally, as a satisfied working man is a natural PUA without any schooling or practice. The only need for practice comes from frustration and low confidence of self achievement at job, that which is ones real duty to achieve in this world! But if you end up practicing chasing women and PUA stuff without full confidence and satisfaction in your career, it will never lead to the true goal, and the PUA will end up going in circles, trying to fullfil himself with women but never achieving it whatever hot the girls may be, as he is trying to skip the actual work in order to get directly to dessert.
http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html#ixzz1qL0WQ94j
#5: Having a hot girlfriend is my reward for getting a job. What nonsense.
its cause the girls your going for dont care about a degree. ur going for the dumb club chicks. thats why. go for a decent chick with a brain and it will probably matter
There are actually a lot of smart chicks that goto the club. But if you've never talked to any of them I can see how you might make that mistake.
|
On March 28 2012 23:47 SeXyBaCk wrote: Do you put "seduction" as an interest in your CV?
Do you put serious romantic one-on-one dating in your CV? Watching porn? Going to strip clubs?
You're deliberately asking a stupid question. You don't include any details about your personal sex life in your CV.
Look, it's obvious that what you're doing is trying to pass judgment on seduction. Your argument boils down to"you know seduction is bad because you keep it a secret", which is bullshit.
On March 28 2012 23:47 SeXyBaCk wrote:I don't know about your family but my mother and sister for instance have always been awfully curious and judgemental about my dating life. The more private you keep it the more curious they tend to get. Mum's want their son's to marry and make grandchildren. That's just how the cookie crumbles. it's a sort of social pressure that I'd say 95% of men have coming their way once they get into their late 20's.
"I'm a coward who bows to social pressure, so I'm gonna assume you are too."
On March 28 2012 23:47 SeXyBaCk wrote: I think you will be surprised to eventually find out how judgemental, maybe not your closest friends but members of your nearer social circle can turn out to be.
No, I think you're the judgmental/cowardly one, and you're assuming everyone else is as judgmental/cowardly as you. You care way too much what other people think, which is why you're obsessed with whether or not I'd include seduction on a CV.
On March 28 2012 23:47 SeXyBaCk wrote: It just so happens once you're in your late 20s, you start going to weddings, if you don't, your friends start having children, they can't go out anymore, nighttime activity has to become daytime activity (if you still want to see your friends), you need to sort of have dates to go to weddings or dinner parties, what people do for fun changes.
What gives you the impression that studying seduction precludes anything else? People study seduction for all sorts of reasons, not just hooking up. Some people do it so they can find a girlfriend.
Personally, I finished studying seduction in a serious, methodical manner. I learned the skills that I needed to, the same way that I stopped seriously developing my BW skills when I reached C in ICCUP, since I don't plan to be a professional BW player. I'm happy with my rotation of ladyfriends, and I'll be more than happy to settle down with a wife or two as I get older.
On March 28 2012 23:47 SeXyBaCk wrote: Also I can't stay up all night boozing and go to work at 7 the next morning, my body can't take it anymore. What I'm trying to say is people move on from that early 20s lets go to a club mentality and what is considered a good time changes as we get older.
I've never had a club mentality, and never gave a shit about it. I much prefer other hobbies, and typically only go clubbing now when friends drag me along. But that doesn't mean there was anything wrong with using clubs as a way to efficiently refine my skills
|
Well said Sunprince and Shinosai haha. You show those trollers who wins at life lol.
|
Sounds like a lot of excuses. Either you want to do it or you don't. Simple as that.
1. Don't tell your friends about pickup. Yes people will judge you for it. If they don't understand you, why should they know? Keep it a secret if you have to. People are just offended at the concept of pickup. But nobody is going to give a shit that you are in the club talking to people, which is really what it boils down to.
2. Of course there are sacrifices in pickup. If it was easy, every ugly loser would be dating playboy playmates. Its just a path or journey out there, doesn't mean its for everyone. For me, pickup has negatively impacted my work life. For one, all I do is day dream about pickup and my dates while at work. I am also terrible at time management and I spend way too much time playing video games, making youtube videos, and posting on forums lol. But with proper time management, you can fit in going out 2 nights a week, Friday/Saturday. And no drinking. So technically it shouldn't affect work at all if you do it right. But again, its up to you to make it happen.
3. Who cares if it feels weird that you are 40 and hitting up on girls 20 years old. From your development point of view. Who cares? If you care about what people think about you.... pick up is NOT for you lol. Cuz you are going to get blown out of thousands of sets and some times the girls can be down right rude and belligerent. So yeah, if you care about what people think and you want to be successful at pickup, you better learn how to not give a shit REAL quick.
4. Stop caring about what other people think of you, and what you think of other people. A cold approach is random. Some times the best conversations come out where you least expect it. Some times you can meet an 18 year old who is super mature. Some times you can meet a 40 year old whos completely retarded. Its all random and its the luck of the draw. Just go into a set open with a blank slate and see where it takes you. Some times you can use the same fucking opener, one girl will fucking get angry, and another girl would be giving me a great big smile. This one opener:
Err, no, not an excuse (for what? was I trying to defend some point here? I'm confused)
I was letting you in on how life works for most of us (in the western hemisphere) once we hit the big 3-oh, at least from where I'm sitting. Fair enough, you say fuck what my old friends and family think, fuck I'm slacking off my career and foregoing previous ambitions i might have had to live a certain lifestyle. That's your prerogative. My point is the rest of us are moving in a different direction. You're stuck in an early 20s mindset. I can't believe you don't care if you come across as a creep though. And if you're stuck at 40 where you should have been at 20 your whole self development thing is regressing you, at best.
Sunprince, did I hit a nerve or something? You are spot on though, as a matter of fact, I invented judgement. I'm the only judgemental person out there. It's just a sea of tolerance out there. Women aren't judgemental. They don't want guys who have goals or ambitions or have their shit together and are independent. They just want someone who says all the right things, and put their hand on their back at the right moment.
Seriously, I get the whole I don't care attitude, as long as you appreciate those your age are moving on, getting a career, kids, marriage, a house, etc while you're doing "cold approaches". It's harder to kick start a career at 34 than it is at 26, that's all. I'm not asking you to submit or convince. Just take notice of reality while you're trying to catch up on something you felt you missed out on. This whole PUA stuff becomes a lifestyle once you start going to seminars travel to places and meet up with others. And every lifestyle comes with sacrifices, that is my point. Hiding your entire lifestyle doesn't work, you shouldn't have to.
I'm impressed how much you are convinced by the PUA stuff. "Don't bow to social pressure, be your own man, be dominant" ... okay... I can extract anything meaningful from that, you might as well be reading from fortune cookies to me.
In fact I wasn't trying to 'put down' seduction. I was trying to comprehend what it was about, but I accept I won't ever get it. If it helps people with serious social anxiety to overcome their daemons, more power to them. I can easily accept some guys are in a different place to myself. My advice stands, play.. if you missed out on playing take a year or two and go and play. Go out, sleep around, meet lots of different women/girls. If you are in your early 20s get it done. Don't be too focussed on academics and careers yet. However, be honest and straight forward about what you're doing, including and in particular with the opposite sex.
Finally the other guy who posted the link about the reasons why men loathe/love women, you need to re-read the whole thing man. You totally misunderstood it. The article is a humourous attempt at highlighting how warped men's thinking still is in this day and age. The guy is saying we need to come away from feeling we need to have a hot girlfriend to be someone ... and you're posting it in support of a cause that aims at finding a hot woman on your arm even if you're a uber-geek on the inside? We're led to believe we deserve and need to have a hot woman and if for whatever reason we don't it's a source of frustration. Written in mockery or not, it's pretty spot on and describes how most straight guys feel at times.
|
On March 29 2012 06:53 sunprince wrote:Do you put serious romantic one-on-one dating in your CV? Watching porn? Going to strip clubs?
Shit nigga, I'm going to be putting watching porn on my CV. Love to see the look on the HR girl's face when she sees that one.
User was temp banned for this post.
|
On March 29 2012 22:16 SeXyBaCk wrote: This whole PUA stuff becomes a lifestyle once you start going to seminars travel to places and meet up with others. And every lifestyle comes with sacrifices, that is my point. Hiding your entire lifestyle doesn't work, you shouldn't have to.
Afaik, PUA very largely is about the exact opposite. Sure, there's guys who make money out of running seminars and all that but most/all of them have plenty of material on the internet for free. Women to meet are not a scarce resource. The only cost really is in your time if that's all you want it to be. Social interaction is like a lot of other skills these days, be it learning a language, improving your physique, learning to play a musical instrument, a sport or whatever. You can pay to be taught any of those skills, or you can use the resources available and figure it out for yourself. The caveat with the latter method is that although it is cheaper, the only way to make up for not having someone more experienced/skilled to guide you is that you will be learning mostly by making a lot of mistakes (which requires a fair amount of courage to push through initially) and it will take up more of your time.
Note that the examples I used, like PUA, do not have to become your life's mission for most people to become relatively competent. For some people it is, but its arguably much more a pursuit that you can use to improve the life you already live.
|
Just reading the last few pages of this thread... Look guys, arguing and debating is something GUYS like to do. girls find it unattractive as shit. If you ever try to argue a point with a girl and try logically explaining it to her, she will think you are boring as fuck. Most guys find arguing interesting. Just like they find computer games interesting - 'cos most computer games require logic and brain exercising. Girls hate that shit. So if this is a thread about getting girls, you're doing it wrong.
|
You sure know a lot about girls, try talking to smart ones sometimes though
I've had plenty of good conversations with girls that involve logic, dunno where your experience comes from but honestly
|
On March 29 2012 23:12 nRoot wrote: You sure know a lot about girls, try talking to smart ones sometimes though
I've had plenty of good conversations with girls that involve logic, dunno where your experience comes from but honestly
Have you ever been to a party? Discuss science and rationalisation and she has to go. Talk about the beach and she'll be wanking you in no time.
|
Have you ever been to a (non-party school) university party? Plenty of girls enjoy discussions about "smart" topics: debates, maybe not as common, but definitely discussions.
I've picked up a good number of chicks while having intelligent discussion with them. Being articulate and intelligent is a turn-on, and smart girls rarely want to hook up with guys they feel are dumber than them. Of course, you have to be fun and playful as well, but stop spreading stupid (and insulting/sexist) stereotypes around: Girls can have intelligent discussions and many of them enjoy it.
|
|
|
|