The PUA community - Page 121

On April 02 2012 04:03 JudicatorHammurabi wrote: Now one question: how the hell is anyone supposed to talk when it's so fucking loud in downtown clubs (at least in my city)?

On April 02 2012 04:03 JudicatorHammurabi wrote:. Well, I sure as hell wasn't going to dance alone, so I tried my confidence and went and danced with random girls / groups of girls. Most were down with it, so I guess that's a good thing.
The ones who kinda just moved away, I don't know whether it was because they had a problem with me or they were uncomfortable with new people, or if it's a bit of both. I can't read them that well. :S

On April 02 2012 13:15 bloopie wrote:
Haha maybe I'm just slow, but I realised PUA has nothing to do with maintaining a relationship - both set of skills are invaluable and one must strive to learn both

On April 02 2012 13:15 bloopie wrote:
This might be offtopic, but hey I would love some help. I just broke up with my gf (which I might/might not have used PUA to get with) but anyhow, her biggest complaint was that a) i didnt spend enough time (i did call every other day, and maybe hung out twice/thrice a week) and b) her biggest hangup was that early on in the relationship, I did not introduce her as my girlfriend to my friends.

Do you guys think I really did commit a dealbreaker? also, how much contact between bf/gf is enough/too much, or how do you ask the girl or gauge her level of comfort for the amount of contact required?

On April 02 2012 13:15 bloopie wrote:
Well, I might as well ask this too. According to PUA (and my personal belief somewhat) is that you should never call your ex to be "friends". However, this might be akin to burning your bridges. What do you guys think? Call or not to call? How long after your breakup would be a good time to call, not to appear too needy?

On April 03 2012 12:48 giuocob wrote:
You guys are fucking pigs.

On April 03 2012 13:03 DoctorHelvetica wrote:
hey squattin since im a fellow TLer think i can get a discount on coming to your seminar, i want to learn more about PUA - particularly from s ledgehammer

On April 03 2012 14:11 sluggaslamoo wrote:
After seeing this thread before, I stopped watching youtube videos and reading PUAForums and started hitting up some books, I've finished The Mystery Method and am halfway through The Game and thinking of just reading up LNP out of curiosity. I feel that the balance between the very scientific nature of the mystery method, and the auto-biographic nature of the game helps blend it all in.

I've definitely learned a lot, although I'm not going to be mass gaming any time soon and I'm just going to practise on A2-3 B1-2 mostly occasionally with friends and waitresses and stuff, that's where my biggest weakness is I think (I always did bad in literature style english, and wasn't too good at establishing comfort with words. I'm very bad at telling long jokes and stories, or acting sincere or coming up with good things to say quickly.

Since reading the book I met an exchange student and very smoothly transitioned from A-C to a lay within 5-6 hours (the 7 hour rule is a good rule), where as before I had to ride out certain bumps by compensating with my other skills, this time I felt like I could safely transition into each phase much more easily.

It was a really good experiment for me because I knew I had nothing to lose as she was going back home that week, but after the close and what I thought was the last day, she spammed me with text messages the next day because she wanted to see me on the last day (even though I said "no sorry I can't" like 5 times). She really wants to see me again, and I said someday, she said "really? sounds like you are not coming ". I really am not sure whether I'm going to see her again, but at least the opportunity exists if I want it.

I've never been that good socially, but have relied on my kinesthetic awareness (I played a lot of sport, and played music), at clubs and parties like with dancing and escalating kino. I was also considered somewhat of a pretty boy and am naturally pretty confident, so A1 (first level attraction) is completely not a problem for me I don't think, neither is B-3 (comfort) to C-3 (sex)

For me I don't believe negging and showing too much disinterest in A1 will work that effectively, I already consider myself a lot more attractive than the regular PUA, and I've been caught blowing myself out of sets and girls becoming too nervous to talk to me again instead of just transitioning into comfort. Therefore very recently I've been calibrating myself to try to only use negs that are focused on establishing comfort more than lowering the perceived value of the target. The kind of punch-in-the-arm jokes that you make as if you are old friends.

One big mistake (although not as the result of a neg but from an action that has a similar effect) I did recently was a 9-10 waitress (and I have really high standards) opened up to me while I was waiting for my coffee. I knew she was really nervous because she would give strong IOI's whenever I walked into the shop, but nervous ones, like quickly turning around and loooking like 'oh shit hes here!' IOIs and then twirling her hair, taking a deep breath and giving a really bright smile and saying "hey!" and waiting for me to order.

So I one day I was waiting for my coffee and she came up to me and asked me how I was going blah blah blah and I asked her what she did on the weekend, she said she did a couple of parties, and that allowed me to transition into talking about the fake halloween costume party 21st my friend held on saturday.

She laughed and seemed really interested and gave a response about an item of clothing that took me a while to figure out what it was, but it was long enough to cause dead silence, and then I figured hey why not wait for an IOI and see if she re-initiates the conversation, so I looked the other way a bit to show disinterest and she started wiping the tables for a pretty long time and then walked away. I've done this before with less attractive more talkative girls, maybe she just wasn't used to a guy not being interested enough to hold the conversation (because hey when a 10 opens up to you, 99% of the time the guy would be all over her), or maybe she was a bit nervous to come up with anything.

I think her walk away was similar the kind guys do when girls use their bitch-shield or anti-slut-defense, so I think I just used my tactical-shield. My coffee came a minute later from another waitress (who is also quite attractive and seems somewhat keen on me although I'm not sure). Next day she asked for my order just like she did with everyone else. Well it was worth a shot and I'm not really fussed by it.

That said I still think I have a chance with her, she still shows IOIs physically (not as much), but verbally they are missing now, I guess I gotta work from lower down now and work really hard on establishing comfort and getting her more invested in me again (my biggest weakness T_T).

Atm just focusing on how to maximise demonstration of value, how to get a girl to invest, escalation of comfort without kino and learning how to tell stories and keep an [interesting] conversation going.

If you have any tips on above situation let me know. Yes I know early learning pickup is completely about trying more and making mistakes and learning from them but it would be still nice to know if anyone has any ideas.

On April 03 2012 14:21 squattincassanova wrote:



MysteryMethod, while it was amazing back in the day, a lot of the stuff is outdated.

1. Indirect style (the heart of MM) is not great if you want to eliminate bad inner game. Why? Because you aren't putting yourself out there. Direct game ever exists during the start of MM. Direct game puts your self out there, it forces you to put yourself on the spot. Can you even get hardcore blown out doing indirect? You won't grow balls doing indirect, and you certainly will learn how to escalate very SLOWLY. Now direct game may not always be tactically the best idea in certain situations, but if you NEVER do direct game, you are going to have a gaping hole in your overall skill level.

2. IOIs dont always mean anything. Ever met a girl who is naturally flirty with everyone? Shes smiling, laughing, touching her hair. But you ask her to come over 5 feet and she says no. We now know that IOIs dont mean shit. Compliance is KING. If a girl is not giving you IOIs, but you ask her to suck your dick and she complies, what matters more? Obviously compliance. Some girls just never give IOIs but she listens to your every request. What should you trust more? Obviously compliance.

3. Mystery's style is not universally applicable. His style only shines for him in his environment, which is the Hollywood club scene, where people dress weird. You go to a frat party or a some chill college environment such as Pacific Beach, and you wear a fucking TOP hat with black nails, you will get DESTROYED. People will think you are a god damn freak. My friend took him to Pacific Beach and he failed miserably.

Can you even get hardcore blown out doing indirect? You won't grow balls doing indirect, and you certainly will learn how to escalate very SLOWLY.

On April 03 2012 14:32 sluggaslamoo wrote:
For example if you tell her to suck your dick and she does, but then never rings you the next day, isn't this why the 7 hour rule exists and you need to establish enough attraction and comfort within those 7 hours to keep her interested in you following the f-close?

On April 03 2012 14:32 sluggaslamoo wrote:
You can't get hardcore blown out by going indirect but I think that's the point of it. Fear of the approach will always exist no matter how good you are at pick up. At the same time it prevents girls from using their anti-slut defense e.g "I have a boyfriend" or "I don't want to talk to you". The problem with direct game is this will happen a lot more as it makes their perceived value will be higher than yours, at the same time negs become less effective in removing the anti-slut defense.

However I am completely open to what your thoughts are on this.

On April 03 2012 14:52 squattincassanova wrote:


Dude, every girl is different. I have girls who have had sex with me in under 2 hours and I have had girls who NEVER had sex with me with over 20 hours of time! When it comes to pickup, there are never hard set rules. Every scenario is case by case. What I CAN tell you is. If you sleep with a girl, you can bet statistically shes more likely to answer your phone the next day than if you talk to her for 10 minutes at the club, got her number and then walked away. That's a simple no brainer.

On April 04 2012 00:39 sluggaslamoo wrote:
Thanks for the quick response



The point to the 7 hour rule (its not actually strictly 7 hours you can give or take a couple) is to improve your chances of maintaining a sexual relationship after the first f-close. 7 hours was decided to be around the minimum to average for the best long-term sexual relationships. A lot of player types will have a problem with having a one-night stand and then her never answering your calls again because she feels like a slut or she did something bad. If you do get a call back its probably because you got an STD

Also if she is the kind where you are basically sleeping with her no matter what from the get go (referred to as "fool's mate"), there are other things to worry about. I remember my friend who had sex with a girl in the public toilet, he lost his virginity that day, but the brightly coloured substances that accompanied his urine the following week was not for the faint of heart. I guess yeah there's also that point about safe sex.