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Sotamursu
Finland612 Posts
I can't believe how she even found me on facebook, she's a complete stranger and I've caught a glimpse of her a few times around the town, but nothing more than that. I'm gonna message her today and set up a date asap. I don't even care that much, if the date is a complete catastrophe. This whole thing just means that I must be doing something right. Just gotta say, this thread gave me the last bits of motivation to up my amount of cold approaching. Haters gonna hate etc. | ||
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
On March 20 2012 15:58 Sotamursu wrote: I'm here with an update. This caught me completely by surprise. A girl I asked to dance at a club on valentines day just messaged me yesterday, saying how she regrets not dancing with me, when I approached her twice. I just couldn't give up after the first time, she's pretty damn fine. Maybe she was impressed by my sick techno dance moves. I can't believe how she even found me on facebook, she's a complete stranger and I've caught a glimpse of her a few times around the town, but nothing more than that. I'm gonna message her today and set up a date asap. I don't even care that much, if the date is a complete catastrophe. This whole thing just means that I must be doing something right. Just gotta say, this thread gave me the last bits of motivation to up my amount of cold approaching. Haters gonna hate etc. feel free to post pics afterwards. | ||
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NDDseer
Australia204 Posts
Morals of that story are not to forget your wallet + the "You're amazing, will you marry me?" line is actually ridiculously effective (for added effect use at a wedding) when combined with a bit of contact and looking her straight in the eye. | ||
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
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Sotamursu
Finland612 Posts
On March 21 2012 16:22 squattincassanova wrote: I ended up bumping into SimplePickup in LA this weekend. I put captions, might be worthwhile watching it on youtube. It doesn't show up on the forum embed for some reason. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a2mVFp2AKw Wow at the drunk insecure asshole. He jelly. | ||
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SeXyBaCk
Switzerland174 Posts
I doubt guys nowadays are worse with women than our dads were. Knowing how my dad is, compared to myself, definitely not. My generation is better with women. So is there a real need for pickup advice? Most guys are clumsy awkward around women. Here's some news for you, women don't pay that much attention to the first 2 minutes of you meeting them. If the conversation carries on, they won't remember the intial awkwardness. Practicing definitely helps. It's an individual decision to dedicate serious time and effort to improving how one is with women, you have to respect that, like what Cassanova is doing. I myself (like a few other posters I'm sure) can maybe think of a few better ways of going about it, but you gotta let the man go and find his own way and do his thing. He seems content in it, and is here promoting his lifestyle so to speak. He's actually trying to help as well. I'd be really weary though of paying money for courses bootcamps etc to be instructed on how to gain some skill on picking up women. Just like any televangelist marketing scheme, it just reeks of b.s. And I think these people take advantage of lonely guys who really just need to get out and about and get active in order to feel better. If you're that desperate to get laid, seriously, call upon the services of a cute call girl and take it from there. I really believe you can get past your awkwardness much better paying a lady to be nice to you than paying some guy who has no real profession talking about his conquests with the help of a power point presentation and a night out. I just want to touch on starting points and that reflects on ones view with such a controversial topic. If you have serious social axiety, teaming up with other men to get over your axiety sounds positive to me (maybe while seeing a therapist to maximise it's effect?). However if you look really dorky, or behave like a total nerd, you have to be realistic about your goals. There aren't enough beatiful women in this world for every average joe to be banging them aplenty. It's not about the looks, there are plenty of pretty girls out there who aren't making the best out of themselves because they're not seeing a guy they want to be pretty for. It should be appreciated that some guys just like picking up women for the ego boost, it's a game, like starcraft is a game, it's just about scoring points. You might be missing out on life making that choice, but to each his/her own. It's a pastime. I'm all for guys bettering themselves. I think you need to be conscious of the goal though. Do you want to improve yourself and feel better about yourself, or do you just want a girlfriend/and or get laid. | ||
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SeXyBaCk
Switzerland174 Posts
To feel better about yourself Exercise. Any kind, at least 4 times a week. Sweating makes us happy. Average people don't have to move for their occupation. Regardless of what you do, exercising will make you feel sexier. Side effects are you will lose weight, generally look healthier, realise discipline is not hard to maintain, and so forth. You just will come across as much sexy to women. IAnd it's not the muscles or the size of your arms or thighs, those aren't important, it's the general level of fitness and health that attracts. Spend (a limited amount of) your time with style considerations. Your clothing, how you walk, talk and present yourself. How you live. Don't be a slob. It's not that women care so much about how you look, they care about what others think who they date. Their friends and family mostly. If you're a presentable mute who says 3 words every ten minutes they'll still go on dates with you. Again you don't have to look like some gay armani model, but you need to demonstrate you're making an effort, and getting the most out of what you have. Lifestyle: get out and about, do stuff, anything really. Be active, have a full calendar. Travel, eat out, try new things. Sideffect: you will meet new people, also women. Do those 3 things well your confidence will soar. You will get looks and what you say or do isn't that big of a deal. If you're more interested in improving your lifestyle, here's one of many websites on mens lifestyle http://postmasculine.com/ Really though, if you sit down, and brainstorm on how to become a more attractive person, you can come up with most of this on your own. You just want to get laid or get a cute girlfriend? I suggest you focus less on what you have to do and just pay attention to how the woman who is currently sitting across from you is. No, you cannot talk yourself into every woman's panties. Sometimes there's just no attraction/connection. But there's absolutely no need to approach 500 women to just get laid once. Your chances are significantly higher going on 3 dates with the same girl and getting some action. If you're walking about thinking I need to get laid tonight, you're shooting yourself in the foot. If your first impression with a woman is "he's a horndog", unless they happen to be in the exact same state, you will not be able to lose that tag and she won't be attracted to you. Desperation is just a turn off. Not caring about when you might have sex with them is more attractive to women. When it happens they feel it's because they seduced you. I don't usually like to quote such generalisation but this one is true. Anyway to cut this short: how to get laid - be chill/relaxed, or at least appear calm -don't be desperate for sex -be quietly generous, without insisting -be genuinely interested in her personalty, otherwise just get out of there, don't waste your and her time. -if youre not on a date, indicate your interest in a few words without being too telling, eg "come and have lunch/dinner/cofffee with me" hence turn what youre currently doing into a date -be ready, have the logistics in place for intimacy -if she seems uncomfortable because you're too aggressive, slow down, slow down to a point where she is coming across as desperate for you to do something. That's it from the top of my head. If you're sticking to that, 4 out 5 times by the third date you should get laid or have some kind of more than friends relationship with the women. If you're going on 3 or more dates and you keep getting friendzoned something else is up, you're sabotaging yourself and you need to probably get your friends and people who know you to tell you what's up. Just a general point on the whole PUA scene. I wouldn't go as far as saying it's misogynic, just completely ignorant about the opposite sex, and some of the misconceptions I've heard and read about just make me cringe. Women aren't animals or robots you can manipulate, they're just as individual as men. What works on one woman doesn't work on the next. PUA tries to solve this by boxing them according to their race. IMO you're better off hanging out and making females friends than reading PUA. Finally, the whole nightgame and daygame reasoning. Off the bat, I'd only ever touch women I'm not familiar with (in a non professional capacity) when they're giggly and intoxicated. Alcohol is what night game is. Don't go grabbing people (unless you're already dancing) if she's not in that "swaying not quite 100% on your feet" state. I tuned into Cassas video...approaching people from behind in the mall. Most women will run away, even if you're drop dead gorgeous. when someone is following you, you notice it, it's some kind of subconscious protective instinct, and you won't like them for it. And they won't if you do it to them. If you see someone cute in the street, you have to say hi right away, within one or two seconds. Smile make eye contact etc. I wouldn't approach anyone i hadn't made eye contact with anyway. If they see you and check you out and aren't remotely interested they're not going to change their opinion of you by having some awkward conversation on the fly. | ||
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bonedriven
258 Posts
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
On March 22 2012 01:15 bonedriven wrote: Not interested in bar girls like squatt posted at all. Anyone? Not about getting the girl in the bar. How many times so I have to tell people, the bar is for practice. If you can pick up a girl at a bar, you can pickup a girl at a bookstore. Its called get the skill, then get the girl. | ||
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bonedriven
258 Posts
I am single and she's single. We both work in a same university. She is looking for a husband (not a boyfriend), and I think she likes me. She's nice but I'm not looking for a wife so soon...I feel she's not very confident about herself when she's with me...I think she feels I don't like her much, because most of the time I talk to her in a playful manner. I guess it even annoys here in a way. Anyway I asked her if she wanted to travel with me, <Messenger> me: Do you have any plan to travel recently? she: (after a long long time) Yeah, you can ask more friends and we may go together. me: No. I don't like to travel in a group. It always looks like a bunch of refugees to me. I'm asking YOU! Germany? Switzerland? Paris Disneyland? But if you don't like it, it's all right. ^^ she: (after a long long time) "refugees". lol. OK, I think we can go to disneyland if you are interested too. We are still planning for the trip. What should I do so that we can have fun and I will not hurt her afterward? By having fun, I don't definitely mean sex. But she's getting all nervous when she's with me and not confident. I don't know what to do about it. | ||
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
On March 22 2012 03:17 bonedriven wrote: I recently get into a situation which I am not sure what is the best way to manage it. I am single and she's single. We both work in a same university. She is looking for a husband (not a boyfriend), and I think she likes me. She's nice but I'm not looking for a wife so soon...I feel she's not very confident about herself when she's with me...I think she feels I don't like her much, because most of the time I talk to her in a playful manner. I guess it even annoys here in a way. Anyway I asked her if she wanted to travel with me, <Messenger> me: Do you have any plan to travel recently? she: (after a long long time) Yeah, you can ask more friends and we may go together. me: No. I don't like to travel in a group. It always looks like a bunch of refugees to me. I'm asking YOU! Germany? Switzerland? Paris Disneyland? But if you don't like it, it's all right. ^^ she: (after a long long time) "refugees". lol. OK, I think we can go to disneyland if you are interested too. We are still planning for the trip. What should I do so that we can have fun and I will not hurt her afterward? By having fun, I don't definitely mean sex. But she's getting all nervous when she's with me and not confident. I don't know what to do about it. From reading that, it seems like you don't know what you want and she doesn't really know what you want. What do you want to achieve out of traveling with her? You clearly didn't kiss or gone out of the platonic stage with her. So if you just want a travel buddy, go find a travel buddy. Is something about her that makes her some how super amazing to travel with? Personally, I won't go on a trip 1on1 with a girl unless I bed her. You have to define your intent, and you have to let her know whats up. Think about it, most girls wait for you to lead the interaction. She clearly doesn't know what the heck she wants, and apparently if you act the same way, nothing is going to happen. You are doing this dance around to avoid putting yourself out there and risk being rejected. Don't fear rejection man. Life rewards guys who take risks. | ||
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
On March 22 2012 03:17 bonedriven wrote: I recently get into a situation which I am not sure what is the best way to manage it. I am single and she's single. We both work in a same university. She is looking for a husband (not a boyfriend), and I think she likes me. She's nice but I'm not looking for a wife so soon...I feel she's not very confident about herself when she's with me...I think she feels I don't like her much, because most of the time I talk to her in a playful manner. I guess it even annoys here in a way. Anyway I asked her if she wanted to travel with me, <Messenger> me: Do you have any plan to travel recently? she: (after a long long time) Yeah, you can ask more friends and we may go together. me: No. I don't like to travel in a group. It always looks like a bunch of refugees to me. I'm asking YOU! Germany? Switzerland? Paris Disneyland? But if you don't like it, it's all right. ^^ she: (after a long long time) "refugees". lol. OK, I think we can go to disneyland if you are interested too. We are still planning for the trip. What should I do so that we can have fun and I will not hurt her afterward? By having fun, I don't definitely mean sex. But she's getting all nervous when she's with me and not confident. I don't know what to do about it. Oh, if you were talking to 10 girls at the same time, you wouldn't be in this situation where you are fixated on this one girl who probably if you look back 5 years in the future... probably isn't even that great. | ||
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bonedriven
258 Posts
On March 22 2012 03:22 squattincassanova wrote: Don't fear rejection man. Life rewards guys who take risks. Is this what you write to everyone who asks question here disregarding what the question is? Anyway, please keep off my post plz. I will not comment on your posts in the future either. | ||
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
On March 22 2012 03:33 bonedriven wrote: Is this what you write to everyone who asks question here disregarding what the question is? Anyway, please keep off my post plz. I will not comment on your posts in the future either. PUA is never about getting that one particular girl. Its about learning good game and fundamentals. You clearly dont know what it is you want with that girl. Asking a girl to travel 1on1 with you is a BIG investment and risk on her end, especially if she doesn't know you that well. Shes spending multiple days with you, maybe even in the same room. Don't you think you jumped a few steps? And you don't even know how much she really likes you. Did you do any compliance tests? And if she wants to get married and you don't want to, why are you talking to her in the first place? You have a lot of gaping holes in this story and a lot of unanswered questions. | ||
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decafchicken
United States19932 Posts
On March 22 2012 01:15 bonedriven wrote: Not interested in bar girls like squatt posted at all. Anyone? No problem here with girls at bars. They're usually drunk attractive and easy. | ||
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Sotamursu
Finland612 Posts
If you're not terrified of dancing, you might want to give it a shot. It's simple as fuck and requires minimal effort. I'm no expert, but I'd say it relies more on a good first few second impression than just talking. @bonedriven Think of it this way, imagine you meet some random guy who wants to be your friend (but you don't know what he wants). He asks you to go on a trip with him (not in a gay way, but like bros having fun etc.). If you don't know him well, he's put you in an awkward position. Now think about what she feels like. | ||
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B1nary
Canada1267 Posts
So I notice in most of them you're not that well-spoken, as in you sometimes throw in lots of "like"s and "so"s to stall and stuff. I think you wrote in one of your posts that's something you should work on. But you also mentioned earlier that one of your weaknesses is coming off as TOO smooth, like making it obvious you're trying to pick them up. But you're pretty much make your intentions clear with your opening line, right? So I'm a little confused. Are smoothness and well-spokenness two different things? Can you elaborate a bit? | ||
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
On March 24 2012 16:13 B1nary wrote: Thanks for the vids squattin. I am watching like this O_O So I notice in most of them you're not that well-spoken, as in you sometimes throw in lots of "like"s and "so"s to stall and stuff. I think you wrote in one of your posts that's something you should work on. But you also mentioned earlier that one of your weaknesses is coming off as TOO smooth, like making it obvious you're trying to pick them up. But you're pretty much make your intentions clear with your opening line, right? So I'm a little confused. Are smoothness and well-spokenness two different things? Can you elaborate a bit? Well yeah, I'm not on fire ALL the time. Its just some sets you are on, and some times you are off. I dunno how to explain it but the disparity between when you are "ON" vs when you are "OFF" is like a million to one. I'm just a human, I get nervous and run out of shit to say too. Ill force myself to come up with some random shit which is still better than standing there with absolutely nothing. Especially when the girl doesn't say anything and I'm forced to plow 100%. It gets boring fast.... tired of cold reading for fucking 5 minutes straight. I don't do day game a whole lot so it was a little bit rusty for those videos. Again, the editing can make you either really smooth or really sloppy. Editing is huge. If I just cut the scenes when I am on fire, I would look straight gangster. But yeah, I do have a gamer / troll vibe. My friend told me I need to cut the trolling out hardcore. That I need to be AFC for a while just to knock out the trolling as it is seriously hurting my game progression. | ||
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
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Mjolnir
912 Posts
On March 24 2012 18:46 squattincassanova wrote: You know you troll girls too much, when a PUA coach tells you to be AFC just to stop the trolling. You know you're really just an AFC looking for validation from strangers when you post shit like this online. | ||
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