EPT[H] Parental abuse.... - Page 4
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Jonoman92
United States9110 Posts
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ahrara_
Afghanistan1715 Posts
On October 10 2008 20:06 Elite00fm wrote: haha wow, first off I especially like how you call me an "illterate peice of shit" spelling both illiterate and piece wrong, and then go on tell me that realistic long-term advice is retarded and fucked up? I don't even really know why I need to justify my position to a fucking psychopath who held a knife to someone's throat and threatened to kill them, but I'm going to do it anyway for anyone else who might not see where I am coming from (people who think rationally that is). The OP doesn't seem fucked up, and I doubt getting few doses of abuse are going to fuck him up mentally as he is 17, meaning he wont end up as a "fucked up loser" later in life. If his dad is pulling this shit (and yes, I do acknowledge that this is abuse and is completely over the line in terms of discipline) because of his grades, worst case scenario is that he is going to get this treatment like what, maybe 4-8 more times throughout his junior and senior years of high school? This doesn't seem like its some kind of fucking habitual "come home drunk and beat the shit out of your kid daily" kind of abuse, it seems like its just his dad going fucking nuts over his grades. So by using "white trash man-up bullshit" as you put it, he is going to have a few shitty days over the next 2 years. Now if he does what you advocate and leave because he will eventually "snap" (oh and by the way, not everyone is a fucking lunatic like you, and just by reading your post I'm pretty sure you're a future office/school shooter because your teacher/boss/whatever doesn't understand you or some other psychopathic shit that causes you to snap) then what will he do? Live with a friend? Find a relative to live with? Try and live on his own? First of all, it would be hard to move in with a friend seeing as the friend's parents would probably just call the police, serious fucking drama would ensue for a few months, court shit happens, then either his dad goes to jail or he ends up moving back in with his family lol. Probably same case with relative, except more drama would ensue and his dad would most likely be able to just convince the relative that it was just discipline and his son is being oversensitive and he would be forced to move back in. THE WORST solution would be trying to live on his own. If he says he is having trouble finding time to keep up with all his honors courses already, a 40+ hour a week job at fucking McDonalds or some other shitty job isn't going to help him. Oh and you think a 17 year old could EVER get a loan for anything? Down payments? Education loans? Yeah I didn't think so. Anyway moving out would pretty much ruin his entire life, as opposed to having him suffer through a few shitty years. oh man i'm sorry. this is too retarded not too refute. Last time I checked pride wasn't serious business, shit happens, i don't think some shit that happened when he was 17 is going to affect his emotional stability and destroy his sense of pride. If he is normal now, and seems to be, he isn't going to go insane over this, which is clearly what happened to you when you got into some emo faggot bitch scuffle with your dad over something you probably deserved because you are clearly a worthless piece of shit, and it fucked you for your whole life because you were probably an emotionally unstable faggot emo kid to begin with. you can't understand the psychological damage being physically dominated by someone does to you. it chips at your self-confidence and self-esteem. 17 year olds are hardly immune to psychological harm. nevermind how it's obviously distracting from everything elsei n life. look, i understand you're trying to help, but maybe posting like an "internet realist" and presuming so much shit about something you don't seem to have a lot of intimate experience with probably doesn't help? i'm just saying if you haven't been involved in a situation like this, you're not qualified to give help or advice. this is exactly the kind of judgment that makes it hard for people to get out of abusive relationships. it is NEVER fucking ok to throw things at your kid or spit at him or kick him to the point of bruising i dont give a fuck about your culture. | ||
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EtherealDeath
United States8366 Posts
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Mastermind
Canada7096 Posts
edit: imo you gotta just suck it up, fucking batshit crazy parents happen, but getting a humiliating beating a few times per year for 2 more years and then having him pay for college for you I think FAR outweighs starting serious fucking family drama by moving out at 17 and getting some shitty full-time job while still in school for 2 years while living in some piece of shit temp home or friends house or something else. Gotta think long term about this, flipping out after one night might cost you a university education. p.s. don't be a fucking retard and hold a knife to his throat why he is sleeping and threaten to kill him if he touches you again ROFL easily the most retarded advice I have ever heard in my life. This guy is a fucking idiot. DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM. What happened to you is some serious abuse. No person on earth should have that done to them by their parents. You father committed a felony offense and obviously you arent going to charge him because he is family, but get the fuck out. No abuse is worth a universtiy education. | ||
GHOSTCLAW
United States17042 Posts
On October 11 2008 01:34 EtherealDeath wrote: Dang what is it with asian parents. Sounds like my case. Not that I suggest this, but in my case, I escalated it. Resulting in a broken jaw for the aggressor. After that I had no problems. I don't think this is advisable, as you have just as great of a chance hurting yourself as you do hurting your aggressor. | ||
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HeavOnEarth
United States7087 Posts
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YPang
United States4024 Posts
LIke if i knew i was going to have to go through 11 lashes, i wouldn't feel that fear, but its not knowing how much i have to go through that gets my hurt pumping faster. PS: I've read every single post here...  | ||
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Chef
10810 Posts
My understanding of Asian family dynamics is pretty weak, but I think that you should choose your next actions very carefully. Try to think about what your father has sacrificed for you, and why he did this to you. If he hasn't done much for you, and he was only alleviating his own frustration, then perhaps you should consider distancing yourself from his authority.. But if he has, consider what you're sacrificing if you leave. Was he going to pay for your university? As a white kid grown up in a white family, I would talk to my father first, and let him know that this was crossing the line. That to be spat on was not just hurtful, but also made me feel as if he didn't love me as a son. If he hit or spat on me again in this conversation, I'd go so far as to defend myself, and then leave. I don't think it's your father's goal to disown you. I think he's just got some horrifying ways of keeping you in line. If he knows they won't work (you walk out on him), I honestly think he'll feel deep regret and a sense of his own failure. ... That said... This is a personal problem, and only you can know the answer. If you're afraid to talk to your father, then at least talk to your mother and sister before you just up and leave. They may convince you otherwise. I wish you the best of luck, and I hope that you act on rationality, not emotion when you decide your best course of action. | ||
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Salv
Canada3083 Posts
On October 10 2008 13:58 Hot_Bid wrote: if i saw my kid imitating firebathero i'd beat his ass too Not funny and inappropriate. GS, only you know if this shit has really gotten to the point of serious action. From anyones third person point of view here, this shit sounds wrong and goes beyond physical scolding. A lot of parents sometimes belt their kid on the ass or spankings if they do something wrong, but this sounds like it goes beyond that and into child abuse. If I were you I would talk to counsellors at school about it. I think it would be too much to leave your home because of this, your life would be completely different and I don't think you'd be ready for that. Yet if your Dad knows that your serious about putting an end to this (by him getting in shit with child services or police) then he might chill the fuck out and not be so abusive. BTW I'l talk to you on MSN if you want about this too EDIT: I read the whole thread and don't listen to the people telling you to fight back. Having a fist fight with your father isn't going to solve anything; neither will threatening to kill him. Your father is still your father and I think he needs to realize that this type of shit is abuse and your not going to take it anymore. Talk to a professional who handles this type of stuff (counsellors or at least something that counsellors can put you in touch with) and then go from there. Good luck, | ||
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Salv
Canada3083 Posts
On October 10 2008 20:06 Elite00fm wrote: haha wow, first off I especially like how you call me an "illterate peice of shit" spelling both illiterate and piece wrong, and then go on tell me that realistic long-term advice is retarded and fucked up? I don't even really know why I need to justify my position to a fucking psychopath who held a knife to someone's throat and threatened to kill them, but I'm going to do it anyway for anyone else who might not see where I am coming from (people who think rationally that is). The OP doesn't seem fucked up, and I doubt getting few doses of abuse are going to fuck him up mentally as he is 17, meaning he wont end up as a "fucked up loser" later in life. If his dad is pulling this shit (and yes, I do acknowledge that this is abuse and is completely over the line in terms of discipline) because of his grades, worst case scenario is that he is going to get this treatment like what, maybe 4-8 more times throughout his junior and senior years of high school? This doesn't seem like its some kind of fucking habitual "come home drunk and beat the shit out of your kid daily" kind of abuse, it seems like its just his dad going fucking nuts over his grades. So by using "white trash man-up bullshit" as you put it, he is going to have a few shitty days over the next 2 years. Now if he does what you advocate and leave because he will eventually "snap" (oh and by the way, not everyone is a fucking lunatic like you, and just by reading your post I'm pretty sure you're a future office/school shooter because your teacher/boss/whatever doesn't understand you or some other psychopathic shit that causes you to snap) then what will he do? Live with a friend? Find a relative to live with? Try and live on his own? First of all, it would be hard to move in with a friend seeing as the friend's parents would probably just call the police, serious fucking drama would ensue for a few months, court shit happens, then either his dad goes to jail or he ends up moving back in with his family lol. Probably same case with relative, except more drama would ensue and his dad would most likely be able to just convince the relative that it was just discipline and his son is being oversensitive and he would be forced to move back in. THE WORST solution would be trying to live on his own. If he says he is having trouble finding time to keep up with all his honors courses already, a 40+ hour a week job at fucking McDonalds or some other shitty job isn't going to help him. Oh and you think a 17 year old could EVER get a loan for anything? Down payments? Education loans? Yeah I didn't think so. Anyway moving out would pretty much ruin his entire life, as opposed to having him suffer through a few shitty years. oh man i'm sorry. this is too retarded not too refute. Last time I checked pride wasn't serious business, shit happens, i don't think some shit that happened when he was 17 is going to affect his emotional stability and destroy his sense of pride. If he is normal now, and seems to be, he isn't going to go insane over this, which is clearly what happened to you when you got into some emo faggot bitch scuffle with your dad over something you probably deserved because you are clearly a worthless piece of shit, and it fucked you for your whole life because you were probably an emotionally unstable faggot emo kid to begin with. I'd like to see how you would act if your father began beating the shit out of you. Your a fucking idiot. Shit like this will affect you, how old are you? I agree when you say that beating up his father or ambushing him is terrible advice, it's an extreme, but so is your advice. Your advice is to suck it up because it isn't that bad and you have no idea what your talking about. He isn't going insane over this but he is posting this for advice because hes got to the point now where he feels this shit needs to stop. BTW; In Canada, a 17 year old can get student loans, scholarships and help from the government in order to go to school. Your in debt afterwards, but it's a way to go to school without having a lot of money saved it. I don't know if it's like in the States, so I won't say your wrong, but I am skeptical of your information on that. | ||
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EtherealDeath
United States8366 Posts
On October 11 2008 06:06 Salv wrote: I'd like to see how you would act if your father began beating the shit out of you. Your a fucking idiot. In a way, my response in my case wasn't too different. Other than the initiating step, where I did snap and fought back. But after that, I realized the greater worth of that other path that Elite00fm suggested. It's not worth walking out, that will set you back further than it will get you ahead. Now if you have reached your breaking point in ignoring this stupid bullshit, what I realized (at least in my particular situation) was: 1) There's not too much hope changing parents' view. At any rate, the energy spent isn't worth the outcome, as that energy could have been applied elsewhere to much greater effect. 2) A good way to blow off steam was in quick, rapid burst, maximum intensity workouts: whether these be standard ones, or weapons/martial arts type workouts (the latter were much much more effective for me, beating the shit out of a bag or the air was very effective). I'm not advocating blind application though. Use your piss offness to give you extra energy in everything you pursue. 3) Remember the importance of the future. Whatever you do now, you must take the situation given to you and make the best use of it. The future may seem far off, where you are independent, but once you reach it, you'll realize how short that time period really was. I wouldn't call myself a passive person, but in my experience this seemingly passive approach worked best. I did try talking to parents, but if they get to this point, it's pretty much pointless. Who knows, maybe you would have more luck, but I wouldn't bet on it too much. Anger is quite a useful tool, if you use it to strengthen you. It was for me anyways. It sharpened my mind quite substantially when focused, and applied properly. Use to improve yourself, your grades, and your overall standing, not just in school, but in competition (like AIME/USAMO (I did math stuff, so i dunno about other such competitions which denote skill)), and make it so your parents have nothing to bitch about. Anyways, you can reach me on AIM as RaptorAce89 or in IRC as EtherealDeath if you want to talk more. Hope things go better for you. | ||
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Salv
Canada3083 Posts
On October 11 2008 06:17 EtherealDeath wrote: In a way, my response in my case wasn't too different. Other than the initiating step, where I did snap and fought back. But after that, I realized the greater worth of that other path that Elite00fm suggested. It's not worth walking out, that will set you back further than it will get you ahead. Now if you have reached your breaking point in ignoring this stupid bullshit, what I realized (at least in my particular situation) was: 1) There's not too much hope changing parents' view. At any rate, the energy spent isn't worth the outcome, as that energy could have been applied elsewhere to much greater effect. 2) A good way to blow off steam was in quick, rapid burst, maximum intensity workouts: whether these be standard ones, or weapons/martial arts type workouts (the latter were much much more effective for me, beating the shit out of a bag or the air was very effective). I'm not advocating blind application though. Use your piss offness to give you extra energy in everything you pursue. 3) Remember the importance of the future. Whatever you do now, you must take the situation given to you and make the best use of it. The future may seem far off, where you are independent, but once you reach it, you'll realize how short that time period really was. I wouldn't call myself a passive person, but in my experience this seemingly passive approach worked best. I did try talking to parents, but if they get to this point, it's pretty much pointless. Who knows, maybe you would have more luck, but I wouldn't bet on it too much. Anger is quite a useful tool, if you use it to strengthen you. It was for me anyways. It sharpened my mind quite substantially when focused, and applied properly. Use to improve yourself, your grades, and your overall standing, not just in school, but in competition (like AIME/USAMO (I did math stuff, so i dunno about other such competitions which denote skill)), and make it so your parents have nothing to bitch about. Anyways, you can reach me on AIM as RaptorAce89 or in IRC as EtherealDeath if you want to talk more. Hope things go better for you. I see what your saying, but I want to make it clear what my opinion on this was. Yang isn't at the point of 'ignoring' this because he said he used to do that before, but now he is reaching a point where he cannot; thus venting on this blog. I don't think he should live like this, but I don't advocate beating up your parents or threatening them with violence; I don't think that will solve anything. I think that Elite00fm is advocating an extreme, one in which Yang does nothing. Some other people were saying to try to fight his dad or threaten to kill him, that's also an extreme. I think what Yang needs to do is talk to a counsellor and they can confront the father or let him know that what he does is inappropriate. I don't think Yang talking to his father one on one is a good idea, he needs support from outside forces, either the school or police or w/e. | ||
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Krohm
Canada1857 Posts
I'd waste him. But yeah dude that's bullshit, but there is not much you can do really until you move out. Unless you want to get the police involved. | ||
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FragKrag
United States11567 Posts
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Nitrogen
United States5345 Posts
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Romance_us
Seychelles1806 Posts
J/k friends. | ||
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SaveyourSaviOrlaptop
United States7 Posts
Most likely your dad still sees you as an immature kid simply because of his ego despite your age of 17. I am 18 yet my dad still treats me and talks to me as if I am a retard who doesn't understand a thing. Don't get a knife to your dad's throat either; it could work but it could turn out really, really bad as well. Instead you should consider wearing a nice, black trenchcoat that will effectively stop the pain of belts and blows. It will work much better then your sweater and you can fake your pain so that he will stop beating you maybe as you squirm in "pain." Edit: Also, almost every asian Dad I know is fucked up in the same way so just know that you are not alone (although this is the first time i've heard of a dad blowing his nose on his son). So yes, don't worry about your dad being a homo because things will get better once you get into college. Don't feel bad about venting to your close friends or even on teamliquid since there's people who you can relate to in almost every level. Fighting back violence with violence is not the answer, just know that | ||
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ahrara_
Afghanistan1715 Posts
On October 11 2008 10:34 SaveyourSaviOrlaptop wrote: I highly recommend you don't call the police or move out. Despite the fact that you are getting owned (typical of MANY MANY asian parents, mine too), I suggest you just deal with it since you are going to go to college soon. My suggestion is to dorm in a college so that you don't simply drive there for classes then come back home. Not only is it a subpar college experience, I'm sure you don't want your dad on your ass for a reasonable drop in grades that happen not because you are dumb but because of circumstances. Most likely your dad still sees you as an immature kid simply because of his ego despite your age of 17. I am 18 yet my dad still treats me and talks to me as if I am a retard who doesn't understand a thing. Don't get a knife to your dad's throat either; it could work but it could turn out really, really bad as well. Instead you should consider wearing a nice, black trenchcoat that will effectively stop the pain of belts and blows. It will work much better then your sweater and you can fake your pain so that he will stop beating you maybe as you squirm in "pain." i think this post combined with the other guy who advised you to reason with your dad on an adult level is a the right approach. it's not worth starting a huge eruption of problems with police and everything, but you can't just let your dad get away with it gl man | ||
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YPang
United States4024 Posts
Back when i was a child, i'd scream and cry as I was beat, and all he did was say that the more I cry and scream the more he'll beat me, and as a result i no longer show emotions as he brings out his belt... | ||
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ahrara_
Afghanistan1715 Posts
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