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On October 10 2008 13:43 YPang wrote:Today i recieved my 6 week grading period progress report in the mail for my first semester as a junior in high school. The grades were the worst i've recieved throughout my entire high school courier. (keep in mind this is a progress report, and not the report card, the report card comes in 18 weeks, i just got my first 6 week progress report). This time in my honors gov class, i did bad on an essay which dragged my grade from an A to a C, and it happened to show as a C on the progress repot. I also got many B's because i haven't gotten time to study for those classes due to the hard amount of honors courses im taking. Basically i got home my dad looked at this report, and in disgust took out his belt and started whipping me. Fortunatly i had my sweater on so it minimizes the pain. He also give attempts to slap my face, but all of his throws are blocked by my arm, and as a result my right and left arm becames red and swollen. He also threw "light punches/kicks" towards my stomach area, which was also blocked by my arms. I believe if it was an actual punch/kick i wouldn't of been able to block it. My dad had a history of beating me even as a child. One of my most memorabl memories was when i was still in china and around the age of 5 I believe, i accidently spilled a cup of milk, and he furiously kicked me down and kicked/rolled my body with his foot. I've been beaten by him SEVERAL TIMES, and each time he does it, it makes me stronger. As a teen of 17 now, i've managed to develop a strong mentality to take those, but today was different.... He pushed me on the sofa, and used his belt to whip my arms and upper torso, i actually couldn't careless. What disgusted me was when he spat on me, and blew his nose on me as I was down on the sofa. He didn't even do it once, he did it NUMEROUS times. The first time he's ever done that was when i was in 7th grade, and i got a 73% on a math test. I sorta just sucked it up, but now i think i've had enough. He's reached my barrier to the point i can no longer stand. I want to move out. I dont know how, or if my actions will only be selfish. My mom and sister are both loving and caring, and i dont want to ditch them for my own benefits. I've thought about walking to y city's city hall is about 3-4 miles away, i can walk there if i wanted to and ask for help. However something deep in my mind tells me to just stay. I have never publicly revealed this, i've only told it to a few friends, but now i think i'm going to let it loose. Often times i've replaced this abuse with the word "scold", but what im experiencing isn't a disciplinary scold. Here is my other parental issue blog: http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=78488I've made a life goal to stop the child abuse to my generation of children. PS: If my parents finds out i still play SC, and browse TL. the consequences would be even worth.
YPang, you cannot let this abuse continue. Period. It's unfortunate, but a lot of chinese fathers have ridiculously egotistical and unrealistic expectations of their kids. Reading your post was like a kick to the face for me because until I was about 10 and my parents divorced, I went through a lot of the same shit. I didn't realize it then but it had a profoundly negative impact on my life and my ability to empathize with people that lasted until I started college. I was kicked for something as small as forgetting a notebook at school. I had utensils and plates thrown at me. I didn't even recognize it as abuse until YEARS later, because they told me that that's what happened with every family. Now i understand some parents use violence to discipline their kids, but the line is drawn when there's no emotional support or affection coupled with that. i was in the same situation as you and my advice right now is to GET HELP. Do it now before it's too late, frankly.
You cannot deal with this alone. You have to find help. There are resources, altho frankly, I don't know what they are. Find an adult you can trust (make sure you can trust them! if you can't find someone, approach a school counselor) family and they will help you. DO NOT:
edit: oh yeah, fight back. don't punch him in the face or something, just push him over or something of that manner, nothing serious.
This is not a battle of you against your father. It is abuse. You need to treat it like a condition or a crime and resolve it with that attitude.
Good luck, YP.
p.s. ya that was kinda douchey post hotbid o_O
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Ugh asian parents are always so demanding of their children.
Oh no you got one C and a couple Bs on a progress report.
Jesus titty fucking christ he went way overboard on you. Get a baseball bat and beat him with it until he agrees to stop hitting you.
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Learn Jiu-jitsu and make him submit. He'll feel like a real bitch.
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I don't want to go into much detail on my child-hood and private life but....
Went I was 17 my dad slapped me across the face , tripped me and got on top of my and started choking me... I got my ass beat.
That night I woke him up with a knife to his throat.
"Touch me again. Ever and I will fucking kill you. No matter how hard you hit me, you will die"
After that my dad never laid a hand on me, despite his weird complex, in fact from that day on he was scared of me, beceause he knew, he would be dead ..... literally.
After years of verbal abuse and a climatic physicall assult (the only one ever) I crossed the lines of my own sanity and did something I never could have normally done. I regret letting him push me to the point where I would have killed him.
You will eventually snap, whether you are a coward or a saint deep down eventually in some way you will. On some girl, on some guy in some bar, at school , at work, on him. You will eventually snap, I PROMISE YOU. Leave before you lose a peice of your dignity to his cruel and indignit behavior.
Leave, your mom and sister will always love you and in 4-5 years if your lucky and your dad sees you do well and become a good man you will have the honor of him tearfully apologizing. More then one of my friends piece of shit fathers have come around later in life.
Do Not Be A Victim. Being a man sometimes means saving yourself!
Good luck young man, I haven't been... into my memories for years and reading this brought it back somewhat. I'm not a mushy nice guy at all, but I can feel your pain, if you can leave and still finish school and have a safe (non-street) life you have to do it!
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I don't know how it works in the US, but can't you go to the police and file a report?
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Look, AttackZerg's story aside, violent confrontation with your dad is not a good idea. Depending on the kind of guy he is, it could only make him more aggressive. The way to stop it without outside help is to assert yourself emotionally. Speak out against it and make it clear to him he's not just disciplining a child anymore, but an adult.
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this is deep 0_0
I fortunately have not had to deal with this kind of situation
the only thing I can say would be to seek some outside assistance, and definitely do not make it a boxing match between father and son.
i hope everything works out ok for you
edit: my d+ in iccup seems so trivial now...
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Find a way to come start a new life in Canada! If your 17 you should be in the age to go to university right? See if you could just ship the fuck out completly, on your own if you have to. The Army is usually an option, I'm sure China will hook you up if you enlist. Anything better than that shit. You deserve a better life, even if it's harder you'd be happier i bet.
p.s. when you come back from the army you'd be the HNIC and could slap him around. Army is nuts.
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On October 10 2008 14:33 ahrara_ wrote:
Look, AttackZerg's story aside, violent confrontation with your dad is not a good idea. Depending on the kind of guy he is, it could only make him more aggressive. The way to stop it without outside help is to assert yourself emotionally. Speak out against it and make it clear to him he's not just disciplining a child anymore, but an adult.
Snorting and spitting is beyond talking about that. If you will it will more prove your strength against him and clarify that situation is as fucking bad as it looks like with no mistakes.
If you are saying you live with your sister and mother too I can't imagine why your parents aren't divorced if shit like that happens.
If your family doesn't know about this or not enough, start with telling them imo.
Like AttackZerg said Don't Be A Victim. If there is anyone who has to gtfo it's him not you.
And like he said. The sooner the better.
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United States43187 Posts
Call the fucking police. You're still a kid and he's your father ffs. Grown men shouldn't hit children, it's made all the more sickening that it's his own son.
You don't have to put up with it and you shouldn't.
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why didnt you talk about the report card when you handed it to him or was there no chance to reason at all
anyway your dads a fucking cunt i really dont know what to say but
good luck.
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Well, the way it is described by the OP, it looks like a Jackie Chan film without sound.
BACK ON TOPIC:
Spitting on you, that is just unacceptable! You should stand up and fight for your honor and respect you deserve!
I don't know if this is extreme or not, but my dad says if I get a B in high school as a final grade, he's forcing me to drop out and join the army. I think I'm going to join. ._.
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Be reasonable. He wants you to study harder--tell him why you've done your best. Tell him that when he beats you and treats you like shit, it really doesn't help the situation. Do that in front of the entire family, and be able to talk about it without sounding scared. Obviously you're a motivated student, or else why would you be taking honors classes? You should make it clear to your entire family that all your motivation to study comes from within, and not out of some perverted Chinese-American desire to please your family.
Look him in the eye as you say this. Don't flinch. He may get angry, he may throw things, but don't flinch. If he gets violent, well, then he just loses his own legitimacy.
That's what I told my mom (my dad was actually the more chill one) in 9th grade. It worked.
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T_T
im sorry dude, that's really fucking fpjdofjis. i would have ran away or some shit by now. i would rather live on the streets eating out of garbage cans than deal with that. gtfo or talk to someone or something real soon man. that is so uncool.
+ Show Spoiler +now doesn't seem like the time for that hot_bid -_-. although i did chuckle it was for half a second 
edit: btw dude, if you lived anywhere near me i would personally go over there and fuck your dad up
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On October 10 2008 14:55 t_co wrote:
Be reasonable. He wants you to study harder--tell him why you've done your best. Tell him that when he beats you and treats you like shit, it really doesn't help the situation. Do that in front of the entire family, and be able to talk about it without sounding scared. Obviously you're a motivated student, or else why would you be taking honors classes? You should make it clear to your entire family that all your motivation to study comes from within, and not out of some perverted Chinese-American desire to please your family.
Look him in the eye as you say this. Don't flinch. He may get angry, he may throw things, but don't flinch. If he gets violent, well, then he just loses his own legitimacy.
That's what I told my mom (my dad was actually the more chill one) in 9th grade. It worked.
This is probably some of the most sound advice in the thread. This is exactly the way to go about it. If you don't think you can bring yourself to do this though, then get outside help.
Like, dude, I have a decent idea of how you feel. You have no reason to feel guilty or embarrassed about approaching another adult about what goes on in your home, or telling a friend. Being abused the way you are being abused is NOT normal. Do not let your family delude you into thinking this is just family business and should be resolved in the family. Have faith that you can find the strength to carry on after getting help. Realize that the life you can potentially lead if you do something about the problem is magnitudes greater than if you never confront it. Any hurt this does to your family is FAR outweighed by the damage it is doing to YOU.
ed:
oh wtf lol you're Yangpang? I thought you were some new guy with a similar name. wtf, you are wayyy too well known and you have too many posts for a name change. gey
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When i got my ass beat, what i did was went to my grandpa and then my dad got his ass beat.
:{
When he confront me about it, i was like:
Har har, you are Asian too!
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EDIT: Ok I read your other thread, so I'm retyping my entire response.
Do you talk with your dad at all? Does he know it's the 18 week grades that get recorded permanently, and the 6 week progress report doesn't matter for crap (to a certain, reasonably degree, since you you fall too badly, it'd be impossible to catch up by the 18 weeks anyway)? Explain that to him clearly. I know it can be hard for Asian parents to grasp that concept (huh, if it doesn't count, why give grade reports that look official?), but having him understand that is the starting point.
Also, compare your grades with the rest of the class. Are you better, equal, or worse than the majority? A C means jackshit if everybody else got D's in the class (and trust me, if you write that down in the application colleges WILL listen), but if most people got B's or better, then you might want to review your studying habits and ask if you were just being lazy. If you just don't want to study, then move out, it'll be easier on both of you that way.
Anyways, where exactly do you stand on ACT/SAT? Every Asian that I knew, including myself, did the weekly SAT/ACT tests, it's normal for us. The thing is, from your other threads, you sound very disappointed when you can't go out for movies, can't play video games, etc. This is what I suggest, your dad may or may not listen. Work out a deal with him, if you achieve certain grades (seems to me in your case you need a full set of A's), you can play games or go out have fun with your friends one day of the week. Do this AFTER you pull a great 18 weeks grades or good ACT/SAT, so you have something as leverage.
If they're still "no you study all day, you make big bucks, money = happy", then they're just close minded and extremely unreasonable. There are more things to life than studying day to night. Once you get into college ACT/SAT will be nothing more than a number. Two year in college, nobody will ask "hey how'd you do on the SAT?".
But don't despair. Even if they are that unreasonable, just hang on for 2 more years. They can't hound you all the way to college now can they? Especially if you do well and get into a good first tier private school that's out of states. If they don't let you go to that school because of cost or whatever reason, then they're just being hypocrites. Why make you study so hard if you're going to end up in a state school anyways?
Hope it works out for you in the end.
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You should seriously beat the fuck out of him once or just scare him with something like waking him up and you having a bat or knife in your hand. Either that or call the cops on him. That kind of abuse is fucking ridiculous.
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Sorry dude you're dad's got some big problems.
What he's doing is like beyond what the normal average parents do. I should be glad the worst I've got from my parents was a simple lecture. But seek help asap.
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Also how about talking to your mom about it?
Oh and,
[B]On October 10 2008 14:54 OmgIRok wrote:[/B
I don't know if this is extreme or not, but my dad says if I get a B in high school as a final grade, he's forcing me to drop out and join the army. I think I'm going to join. ._.
You really don't know whether or not that's extreme? Hmm I wonder.
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EPT
