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[B]On October 10 2008 14:54 OmgIRok wrote:[/B
I don't know if this is extreme or not, but my dad says if I get a B in high school as a final grade, he's forcing me to drop out and join the army. I think I'm going to join. ._.
It's a fucking B, people get into Harvard even when they have MULTIPLE B's. Jesus fucking christ, some parents need to take a chill pill...
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On October 10 2008 15:43 SIUnit wrote:Show nested quote +[B]On October 10 2008 14:54 OmgIRok wrote:[/B
I don't know if this is extreme or not, but my dad says if I get a B in high school as a final grade, he's forcing me to drop out and join the army. I think I'm going to join. ._. It's a fucking B, people get into Harvard even when they have MULTIPLE B's. Jesus fucking christ, some parents need to take a chill pill...
Word. A B is not the end of the world. Let alone fucking undergraduate school. Sure, getting into an undergrad school is great, but if you can't make it, you can always study harder in college to try and transfer or get into a good grad school.
Parents need to realize that good grades aren't everything - there is so much more in life. I'm glad that my parents were more understanding than those asian parents who expected you to get Straight A's or "I'LL BEAT YOU" attitude.
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imo you gotta just suck it up, fucking batshit crazy parents happen, but getting a humiliating beating a few times per year for 2 more years and then having him pay for college for you I think FAR outweighs starting serious fucking family drama by moving out at 17 and getting some shitty full-time job while still in school for 2 years while living in some piece of shit temp home or friends house or something else.
Gotta think long term about this, flipping out after one night might cost you a university education.
p.s. don't be a fucking retard and hold a knife to his throat why he is sleeping and threaten to kill him if he touches you again ROFL easily the most retarded advice I have ever heard in my life.
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wait some of you would trade money (IE a college education) in exchange for getting harshly physically abused, spat on and "nose-blown" on?
Ypang if you've reached your limit for how much of this you can take then I agree with the others that you should talk to someone, IE a school counselor or a police officer.
i think one of the biggest mistakes people make in this situations due to youth is to think that they have to cover up the secret to protect their family, out of loyalty or something.
imo a police officer coming to your house and telling your father he will be arrested if he touches you again will be a healthy deterrent for him. and if it isn't a deterrent, then he will get arrested the next time (assuming cops in your area are competent?).
i do agree with the others though that you should get help. you are a human being and you are a valuable person and you do not deserve that treatment, and (i hope) there are authorities in your state who want to help people like you.
that's just some of my opinions though, i hope you have a place where you can go to think deeply on matters so you can truly come to know what you want regarding this situation. sounds cheesy but i wish i could give you a hug right now man.
PS. it takes a lot of bravery to come out like this and talk about this. you did the right thing though and i appreciate you speaking out about it. the worst thing you can do in these situations is just bottle it up. you took an important first step. and my opinion is you should talk to more people around you about this, especially adults.
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dont make any rash decisions and call up child service because that'll just fuck up your entire family. next time you see him, u should seriously confront him man to man and show him he cant beat you like a dog anymore (i dont mean physically fight him to assert alpha-male dominance or anything but tell him that if he touches you again, you'll fight back with all you got). and if he ever touches you again, beat the shit out of your dad or die trying, i mean it. what kind of wuss beats his son just because he's frustrated by the fact that you dont need straight A's to succeed in the us... if he treats you like an animal, he doesnt deserve any respect either and dont give it to him. he doesnt deserve to be a father but you got to deal with what life gives you.
edit: I read what some of the others have been saying about going to a counselor or police officers, but do you seriously want to get your dad arrested? no doubt he deserves it but the consequences might be worse... and even if he doesnt get arrested, having a police officer come to your front door might push him past the line and have him beat you for trying to get him arrested.. modern culture vs traditionalism can get really ugly. maybe u should talk to one of your dad's friends or your mom about it, but dont make this a legal matter
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On October 10 2008 14:54 OmgIRok wrote:
I don't know if this is extreme or not, but my dad says if I get a B in high school as a final grade, he's forcing me to drop out and join the army. I think I'm going to join. ._.
Extreme is one word, a phrase I would use is "An awful parent."
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On October 10 2008 14:54 OmgIRok wrote:
I don't know if this is extreme or not, but my dad says if I get a B in high school as a final grade, he's forcing me to drop out and join the army. I think I'm going to join. ._.
how exactly is he going to force you o.0? once u're 18, he cant do any legal shit to you
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On October 10 2008 16:19 caelym wrote:
I read what some of the others have been saying about going to a counselor or police officers, but do you seriously want to get your dad arrested? no doubt he deserves it but the consequences might be worse... and even if he doesnt get arrested, having a police officer come to your front door might push him past the line and have him beat you for trying to get him arrested.. modern culture vs traditionalism can get really ugly. maybe u should talk to one of your dad's friends or your mom about it, but dont make this a legal matter
i don't understand this. judging from his post, he will get beaten again in the future, so how is he taking any additional risks by bringing the authorities into it? the only risk i forsee is that the father will kick him out of the house, which seems like that would really suck but at this point what does Ypang have to lose.
i'm not advocating he go to the street or something, but really when a guy is basically treating you like his prison victim you have to take a long hard look at your options.
god i think the lowest form of human beings are the scum that don't even have the decency to realize they are in no way shape or form capable of raising a child, but go ahead and have a child anyways. those people have a special place in hell just for them...
Edit: but just to clarify, i agree that the repercussions of a decision of this magnitude are way too immense to just listen to what other people are telling you. you really have to think long and hard about this and make your own decision. i don't think any of us has the answer except to say we feel for you and hope you somehow pull through this Ypang...
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United States43187 Posts
I'm told that in Asian families the family unit is unbreakable and your obligation to become who your father demands you to be is more important than your right to make your own choices. If this is true for you then ignore my last comment about the police because obviously your father has the right to hit you whenever he feels like because you belong to him. That said, if you feel you do have the right to make your own decisions without fear of having your own father hit you then take action. It'll probably be worse for you long term because the retarded abusive way of forcing kids to become who the father wanted does seem to work. But you will end up making your own choices and being who you want to be.
I'm a white boy so take this example as such. I told my father that I wasn't going to do what he wanted and that he couldn't make me. That if he tried I'd force my mother to choose and she was always going to choose me. That if he kicked me out he'd destroy his family and I'd just end up living with her after the divorce. That it was far simpler for him to keep a roof over my head for another year until I was 18 when I could move out.
We barely spoke for a year but we had no problems. I made my own choices because there was nothing he could threaten me with. I worked part time for spending money, all I got from him was a roof and food. I moved out at 18 and have barely seen him since. I have absolutely no regrets about it because I can look back at my life and be confident that I made the decisions that took me here.
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On October 10 2008 15:58 Elite00fm wrote:
imo you gotta just suck it up, fucking batshit crazy parents happen, but getting a humiliating beating a few times per year for 2 more years and then having him pay for college for you I think FAR outweighs starting serious fucking family drama by moving out at 17 and getting some shitty full-time job while still in school for 2 years while living in some piece of shit temp home or friends house or something else.
Gotta think long term about this, flipping out after one night might cost you a university education.
p.s. don't be a fucking retard and hold a knife to his throat why he is sleeping and threaten to kill him if he touches you again ROFL easily the most retarded advice I have ever heard in my life.
That wasn't advice you illterate peice of shit. It was an example of how abuse can drive you insane. And your advice is the most white trash man-up bullshit I have ever read.
You sir are a fucking retard. Advising somebody to have a fucked up sense of pride and emotional stablity so they can go to college make money and then still be a fucked up loser with a decent job doesn't fix anything problem.
No where in my post did I recommend my actions, I actually said I regret them still.
Everything about your post is fucking pathetic. You are obviously an internet realist with magical wand solutions to real life problems. Guess what jackass being an independent man is better then a pussy wiped gold digging child. Get a clue fucktard.
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United States22883 Posts
On October 10 2008 16:35 a-game wrote:Show nested quote +On October 10 2008 16:19 caelym wrote:
I read what some of the others have been saying about going to a counselor or police officers, but do you seriously want to get your dad arrested? no doubt he deserves it but the consequences might be worse... and even if he doesnt get arrested, having a police officer come to your front door might push him past the line and have him beat you for trying to get him arrested.. modern culture vs traditionalism can get really ugly. maybe u should talk to one of your dad's friends or your mom about it, but dont make this a legal matter i don't understand this. judging from his post, he will get beaten again in the future, so how is he taking any additional risks by bringing the authorities into it? the only risk i forsee is that the father will kick him out of the house, which seems like that would really suck but at this point what does Ypang have to lose. i'm not advocating he go to the street or something, but really when a guy is basically treating you like his prison victim you have to take a long hard look at your options. god i think the lowest form of human beings are the scum that don't even have the decency to realize they are in no way shape or form capable of raising a child, but go ahead and have a child anyways. those people have a special place in hell just for them... Edit: but just to clarify, i agree that the repercussions of a decision of this magnitude are way too immense to just listen to what other people are telling you. you really have to think long and hard about this and make your own decision. i don't think any of us has the answer except to say we feel for you and hope you somehow pull through this Ypang...
The means sounds good, but I doubt the end result that he wants is for his family to be split up or his dad to go to jail. The end result that he wants is for his father to treat him like a good person and respect him. I don't think making him fear you gets that end either.
I'd start with reasoning with him, at a time when he's not angry. Let him know that you understand the mistakes you made and you're addressing them, but that it's not ok for him to degrade you like that and it isn't even helpful for what he wants to accomplish either. Don't blame the bad grades on his behavior, but you can say that every time he hurts you, it becomes more difficult for you to concentrate and perform.
Step 2 is actually concentrating and performing.
If it doesn't help, then there are some more examples in this thread of what you can do. :/
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the important thing to remember is that he will probably beat you again and again until you do something about it. you cant hide your head under your pillow and wait for it to go away because he sounds like a fucking coward.
i dont know how effective counselling and the police and all those support systems and how far they will be able to help you unless you have hard evidence against him, maybe do some research on that sort of stuff first
but man, the guy fucking spat on you and shit. thats fucking low, thats not just abuse thats him degrading you. thats fucking scummy and i think you should stand up to him the next time he tries to fight you and hit him back. tell him everytime he hits him youll hit him back, and everytime he spits on your youll cut one of his fingers off or something like that, so maybe he will hesitate next time.
also, if he comes at you with a weapon or tries to physically kill you or maim you substantially, you should call the police or break his kneecaps in his sleep and tell him not to fuck with you anymore, then call the police. i dont think you can get in trouble for that but if they try to charge you just tell them he was coming at you again and you had to do something.
your young and you dont need this kind of shit happening in your life because itll affect you later on
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I don't know about the OP, but standing up to an abusive father .... is very ..... hard.
Unless you are a beefy ass kid being 15-16-17 and physically standing up to a well formed/strong/dominate man who you also love is very hard. Harder then facing any school bully infact.
Standing up for yourself doesn't work. Verbally or physically.
Don't waste your breath, standing up and failing hurts worse then being beaten =(.
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you are gonna get beat anyway, at least save yourself some emotional pain
imo, if a man is fuckin spitting on you, at this moment in time you dont love him, and you need to do something right now to stop this horrible shit
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If my dad did that i'd fight back and knock the shit out of him.
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On October 10 2008 15:06 haduken wrote:
When i got my ass beat, what i did was went to my grandpa and then my dad got his ass beat.
:{
When he confront me about it, i was like:
Har har, you are Asian too!
hahahaha that's hilarious! i gotta admit i laughed at hb's joke too
and i think the first person you should talk to is a school counselor. go in there, shut the door, tell them what happened, and show them your bruises. high school counselors get their jobs because no matter how much bullshit they have to deal with, they absolutely want to help kids in whatever way they can. i'm not gonna pretend to know exactly how much influence they have, but if that means not sending your report card home, i think they can probably do something about that. it's not like they're gonna be like "well maybe don't get a B u idiot???"
once that's out of the way, and i think that's the most important step at the moment, you can start to look into other options for your future.
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On October 10 2008 17:12 AttackZerg wrote:Show nested quote +On October 10 2008 15:58 Elite00fm wrote:
imo you gotta just suck it up, fucking batshit crazy parents happen, but getting a humiliating beating a few times per year for 2 more years and then having him pay for college for you I think FAR outweighs starting serious fucking family drama by moving out at 17 and getting some shitty full-time job while still in school for 2 years while living in some piece of shit temp home or friends house or something else.
Gotta think long term about this, flipping out after one night might cost you a university education.
p.s. don't be a fucking retard and hold a knife to his throat why he is sleeping and threaten to kill him if he touches you again ROFL easily the most retarded advice I have ever heard in my life. That wasn't advice you illterate peice of shit. It was an example of how abuse can drive you insane. And your advice is the most white trash man-up bullshit I have ever read. You sir are a fucking retard. Advising somebody to have a fucked up sense of pride and emotional stablity so they can go to college make money and then still be a fucked up loser with a decent job doesn't fix anything problem. No where in my post did I recommend my actions, I actually said I regret them still. Everything about your post is fucking pathetic. You are obviously an internet realist with magical wand solutions to real life problems. Guess what jackass being an independent man is better then a pussy wiped gold digging child. Get a clue fucktard.
haha wow, first off I especially like how you call me an "illterate peice of shit" spelling both illiterate and piece wrong, and then go on tell me that realistic long-term advice is retarded and fucked up? I don't even really know why I need to justify my position to a fucking psychopath who held a knife to someone's throat and threatened to kill them, but I'm going to do it anyway for anyone else who might not see where I am coming from (people who think rationally that is).
The OP doesn't seem fucked up, and I doubt getting few doses of abuse are going to fuck him up mentally as he is 17, meaning he wont end up as a "fucked up loser" later in life. If his dad is pulling this shit (and yes, I do acknowledge that this is abuse and is completely over the line in terms of discipline) because of his grades, worst case scenario is that he is going to get this treatment like what, maybe 4-8 more times throughout his junior and senior years of high school?
This doesn't seem like its some kind of fucking habitual "come home drunk and beat the shit out of your kid daily" kind of abuse, it seems like its just his dad going fucking nuts over his grades. So by using "white trash man-up bullshit" as you put it, he is going to have a few shitty days over the next 2 years.
Now if he does what you advocate and leave because he will eventually "snap" (oh and by the way, not everyone is a fucking lunatic like you, and just by reading your post I'm pretty sure you're a future office/school shooter because your teacher/boss/whatever doesn't understand you or some other psychopathic shit that causes you to snap) then what will he do? Live with a friend? Find a relative to live with? Try and live on his own? First of all, it would be hard to move in with a friend seeing as the friend's parents would probably just call the police, serious fucking drama would ensue for a few months, court shit happens, then either his dad goes to jail or he ends up moving back in with his family lol. Probably same case with relative, except more drama would ensue and his dad would most likely be able to just convince the relative that it was just discipline and his son is being oversensitive and he would be forced to move back in. THE WORST solution would be trying to live on his own. If he says he is having trouble finding time to keep up with all his honors courses already, a 40+ hour a week job at fucking McDonalds or some other shitty job isn't going to help him. Oh and you think a 17 year old could EVER get a loan for anything? Down payments? Education loans? Yeah I didn't think so. Anyway moving out would pretty much ruin his entire life, as opposed to having him suffer through a few shitty years.
Advising somebody to have a fucked up sense of pride and emotional stablity so they can go to college make money and then still be a fucked up loser with a decent job doesn't fix anything problem.
oh man i'm sorry. this is too retarded not too refute. Last time I checked pride wasn't serious business, shit happens, i don't think some shit that happened when he was 17 is going to affect his emotional stability and destroy his sense of pride. If he is normal now, and seems to be, he isn't going to go insane over this, which is clearly what happened to you when you got into some emo faggot bitch scuffle with your dad over something you probably deserved because you are clearly a worthless piece of shit, and it fucked you for your whole life because you were probably an emotionally unstable faggot emo kid to begin with.
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wow.... that's disgusting. Hitting is bad enough, but spitting and shooting snot at you?
I'm just very thankful I never had this, because I'd smash him in the face with a hammer or something when he wasn't looking. Go to the cops or something man, that's horrible.
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start working out n kick his ass
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EPT
