|
I work at a restaurant and when it's not busy, everyone just chills at the back near the bar/empty dining lounge and just talks. A popular topic lately has been getting smashed and going to bars. I'm 19 and all my co-workers are older then me, so they feel obligated to tell me their own opinions of things and give me advice; I guess they think they are wise because of their age compared to mine.
So eventually they asked me about going to a bar to get smashed since I had just turned 19 a little while ago, (June 1) and I told them that I didn't drink. Then they asked if I smoked and I said no, and they acted as if this was the oddest thing they had ever heard and for the first time in my life, they actually criticised me for not drinking or smoking.
I'd like to point out that I put, 'actually criticised me' for not smoking or drinking; not because I think it's a better choice, but you can't really make a valid argument that's it's a bad choice. It's obviously healthier and I accept the fact that there are some things I miss out on. Just pointing this out so I don't receive comments about preaching how drinking and smoking are bad; because I could care less if anyone does really, it's their choice.
So basically, I was criticised by these people for the rest of the night about not drinking and one of the owners made the argument that I should be drinking; if for no other reason because everyone else where I work does and I wouldn't want to feel left out.
From then on, every night I work they bust my balls about not drinking with them. I've been thinking of some things to say to them about it, but the best I have come up with is:
"Your thirty-five with no education making as much as I do at nineteen, why would I take your life advice?"
Harsh, but rather factual. If your in your thirties making as much money as your nineteen your old co-worker, perhaps you should refrain by giving life advice and telling people how to better yourself. I don't want to turn into 'that guy' from work who everyone thinks is a dick, so I am curious if anyone has some good ideas about what to do. Two options I won't do:
1 ) Go drinking with them.
2 ) Let them bust my balls about this for the duration of my working tenure their.
So if anyone has any ideas, post away; or if you have a story or something that correlates to this, i'd like to hear it also.
|
I'm in the same boat really. I was never the type to go out with the sports dudes/stoners and get absolutely smashed on the weekends. Just not my thing.
|
I personally believe that after a certain age, your just not liable to start drinking and smoking if you haven't already. I tried to make the argument that I don't drink beer, so why would I go to a bar and purposely drink if I don't like the taste, but it totally went over their heads.
|
United States11637 Posts
|
The way I see it there isnt much purpose to smoke and drinking is for me only for celebratory occasions. Not to "hey lets go get hammered", thats just stupid e.e. Its pretty sad(funny) that they would bust your balls for having some standards and wanting to better your life. I dont know. Maybe they just dont want to grow up? Either way Id tell you to just keep doing what you're doing and work hard.
|
why would u want to be friends with co workers
u know unless u wanted to use them for personal gain but seriously, its a competition in most fields and they seem like idiots either way; i wouldn't associate myself with them
|
Say you have extremely low alcohol tolerance. Spin a tale about how you once had this one beer and then threw up everything you had for breakfast three days ago.
|
haha or its like my friends they're like "Hey Justin, lets go smoke or go to a party and get fucked up(drinking)."
I typically say no im good and they bust my balls for "not wanting to hang out". i dont hang out like that sorry I have better things to do. Probably why I have a year of college left and they're failing(third year) and have completed at most 4 classes. GG? yes I believe so  and im only 20 mind you.
|
i dont drink and i dont plan to either
i say let them talk shit and dont worry about whatever they say, like you said abstaining from alcohol is healthy
but im not one for parties and getting wasted and all that bullshit, but say what you feel and dw if people think you are 'that dick from work'
|
getting drunk is fun? why not do it?
|
Fuck them. The company you keep reflects on your character. Those people are thirty five and working in a restaurant for reasons that have to do with their character. Spending time with them will influence you. Now I'm not saying you shouldn't go out and experience things, or that the lives these people lead aren't just as worthwhile. But it's apparent their values and goals aren't like yours. If you want to live up to your values and achieve what you want in life, and believe me when you have later on it will be very rewarding, you have to be selective about the decisions you make.
There are going to people who say you ought to "try it" just to see what it's like, and I suppose I can't stop you if that's what you want to do, but there are lots of other things you can try to see if you like it -- like refusing to bend to pressure. And try to keep in mind that the people about to give you advice on this forum are likely in the same position as these 35 year olds. I'm telling you this from my experience as someone who's on his way to achieving what he wants. The decisions I've made have led me down a path I'm happy with, and I'm hoping the same can apply to you.
I know I'm sounding a bit prudish... but by all means, have fun. If you can handle it, drink socially a little. I wouldn't recommend smoking because the health risks there are a hell of a lot more real. I don't know anybody who does it that doesn't wish they didn't smoke, or could just quit. But have fun man... get wild. Just keep in mind what you really value. Never let anyone else's expectations of you change your expectations of yourself.
|
I don't drink, nor smoke, and I intend to never do either.
Going to university in Scotland, you can imagine how much I hear about it.
Luckily, most of the people I know are understanding, and sometimes even respect me for staying true to my personal values.
But you're going to have to get used to people trying to pressure you into things. After all, that's what "peer pressure" is about, it's just that these people are being more vocal and active about it. So just shrug them aside, because all that matters is you, especially when it comes to something that I feel is a "life-threatening cause" (I just don't drink/smoke because I feel no need to, and the fact that it doesn't improve my health if I did simply helps solidify my own resolve).
|
Oh hell, I've been pressured about drinking all the time. My friends always joke about how I don't drink or smoke, but that's just joking and I don't mind it then.
This bothers me because I have been hearing the most ridiculous arguments for drinking and smoking, but theres no one else around who I can turn to and say, 'Do you believe this shit?'. Literally everyone there shares the same position that if you don't drink or go to the bar, your some kind of leper. It's hard to explain, but it's if you were arguing with someone who insisted that apples were orange and everyone else backed this guy up; you'd pull your hair out.
|
On July 26 2008 16:29 decafchicken wrote:
getting drunk is fun? why not do it?
some people want to be the best they can be, and alcohol even in small portions doesnt really benefit the body in anyway that something else already can, and getting drunk really isnt a small portion. really there are many other non drug related ways to have fun
|
On July 26 2008 16:40 Salv wrote:
Oh hell, I've been pressured about drinking all the time. My friends always joke about how I don't drink or smoke, but that's just joking and I don't mind it then.
This bothers me because I have been hearing the most ridiculous arguments for drinking and smoking, but theres no one else around who I can turn to and say, 'Do you believe this shit?'. Literally everyone there shares the same position that if you don't drink or go to the bar, your some kind of leper. It's hard to explain, but it's if you were arguing with someone who insisted that apples were orange and everyone else backed this guy up; you'd pull your hair out.
i know your position, all my buddies at school get shitfaced every other weekend, and they arent even legally allowed to drink. just dont worry about it, when people start their arguments or fling shit at you just ignore it
|
The OP is kind of a pussy.. He is thinking of things to say in the future. On the internet.
but either way man if i were you i would just not say anything, it will get old really soon and they will realize that they are kind of immature when you dont respond.. Saying some planned out shit will do nothing but make you look even more stupid..
Im high right now so im probably being a dick,. smoking weed=not addicting + very fun + fun +very fun + lol=yeqaaa oranges
|
On July 26 2008 16:46 Hypnosis wrote:
The OP is kind of a pussy.. He is thinking of things to say in the future. On the internet.
but either way man if i were you i would just not say anything, it will get old really soon and they will realize that they are kind of immature when you dont respond.. Saying some planned out shit will do nothing but make you look even more stupid..
Im high right now so im probably being a dick,. smoking weed=not addicting + very fun + fun +very fun + lol=yeqaaa oranges
fine example >.>
Waterboy quote "Which brings me to my next point, don't do crack"
|
United States24698 Posts
One thing you can do is try to be more assertive than the guys pressuring you. If you make it clear that you are cool with their decisions, but there's no way in hell they are convincing you to drink/smoke, then they might back off a little... that is unless they are complete idiots like some of the people you might be associating with. If they really won't leave you alone about it no matter how much you try, then there's no point in associating with them socially. If the boss won't reasonably allow you to request that everyone stop bugging you about it during work, then it is no longer a good working environment... and decide whether or not you'll actually stick with it.
On July 26 2008 16:42 JohnColtrane wrote:Show nested quote +On July 26 2008 16:29 decafchicken wrote:
getting drunk is fun? why not do it? some people want to be the best they can be, and alcohol even in small portions doesnt really benefit the body in anyway that something else already can, and getting drunk really isnt a small portion. really there are many other non drug related ways to have fun
Additionally not everyone actually enjoys being drunk. If I become affected by alcohol, I just get angry... and that's no fun!
|
On July 26 2008 16:46 Hypnosis wrote:
The OP is kind of a pussy.. He is thinking of things to say in the future. On the internet.
but either way man if i were you i would just not say anything, it will get old really soon and they will realize that they are kind of immature when you dont respond.. Saying some planned out shit will do nothing but make you look even more stupid..
Im high right now so im probably being a dick,. smoking weed=not addicting + very fun + fun +very fun + lol=yeqaaa oranges
Your post lacks a lot of things; but mostly logic. If I made a post asking for comebacks to say to my coworkers, then you could call me a pussy. You would still be a dick for doing it, but at least people could understand where you were coming from.
The OP was asking/ encouraging two things:
1 ) Others to post a situation that is relevant to this.
2 ) Hear other peoples opinion on the ridiculous nature of my coworkers argument.
I have a hard time trying to understand what your even saying.
On July 26 2008 16:46 Hypnosis wrote:
but either way man if i were you i would just not say anything, .
OK
On July 26 2008 16:46 Hypnosis wrote:
it will get old really soon
Wait, what will? Responding to their arguments? Responding to someone when they are talking to you will get old? Sounds stupid to have to ask that, but you just told me I should say nothing. So apparently saying something to someone talking at me will get old. Ok.
On July 26 2008 16:46 Hypnosis wrote:
they will realize that they are kind of immature when you dont respond.
Now I should respond? You just said I shouldn't respond, because that gets old, but now I should, because then I will look immature.
On July 26 2008 16:46 Hypnosis wrote:
Im high right now
At least this is an excuse for your post and the nature of it.
On July 26 2008 16:46 Hypnosis wrote:
so im probably being a dick,
Good call.
On July 26 2008 16:46 Hypnosis wrote:
smoking weed=not addicting + very fun + fun +very fun + lol=yeqaaa oranges
Great point.
Your post has no merit.
|
United States24698 Posts
On July 26 2008 17:00 Salv wrote:Wait, what will? Responding to their arguments? Responding to someone when they are talking to you will get old? Sounds stupid to have to ask that, but you just told me I should say nothing. So apparently saying something to someone talking at me will get old. Ok. Show nested quote +On July 26 2008 16:46 Hypnosis wrote:
they will realize that they are kind of immature when you dont respond. Now I should respond? You just said I shouldn't respond, because that gets old, but now I should, because then I will look immature.
I believe he meant if you ignore them their attempts to bug you will get old.
|
Welcome to social engineering.
I have never drinked, smoked, or done any drugs but I am also a lean 240 lbs of muscle so when people ask me about it I just tell them I am a bodybuilder and am extremely strict about health and calories. That pretty much shuts them the fuck up.
But back when I in high school and a little while afterwards before I become a serious power lifter I got so much shit for it that I pretty much was regulated to being a loner since I couldn't find a group of people that weren't socially engineered into spending their free time drinking or doing weed. I have one friend who is like me and he is pretty much the only guy I can ever hang out with.
|
On July 26 2008 17:15 micronesia wrote:Show nested quote +On July 26 2008 17:00 Salv wrote:On July 26 2008 16:46 Hypnosis wrote:
it will get old really soon Wait, what will? Responding to their arguments? Responding to someone when they are talking to you will get old? Sounds stupid to have to ask that, but you just told me I should say nothing. So apparently saying something to someone talking at me will get old. Ok. On July 26 2008 16:46 Hypnosis wrote:
they will realize that they are kind of immature when you dont respond. Now I should respond? You just said I shouldn't respond, because that gets old, but now I should, because then I will look immature. I believe he meant if you ignore them their attempts to bug you will get old.
Yes, I reread it and I see what he means. Hes still an idiot, just slightly less.
|
United States22883 Posts
On July 26 2008 16:46 Hypnosis wrote:
The OP is kind of a pussy.. He is thinking of things to say in the future. On the internet.
but either way man if i were you i would just not say anything, it will get old really soon and they will realize that they are kind of immature when you dont respond.. Saying some planned out shit will do nothing but make you look even more stupid..
Im high right now so im probably being a dick,. smoking weed=not addicting + very fun + fun +very fun + lol=yeqaaa oranges
He's actually somewhat right. Definitely don't say that stuff you thought of. Just brush it off. Maybe they'll get tired of it, maybe they won't, but they won't hold it against you if you're a nice coworker. You'll just be the "clean" guy.
|
I'm not that big of a drinker myself, but I realize that we function in a society with a certain set of social norms. If my friends and co-workers didn't drink, I probably wouldn't either. It's probably because I'm not that experienced at it, but I don't find the taste of alcohol that great nor do I particularly enjoy getting shitfaced. I only started drinking (and continue to do so occasionally) because I thought it would be a good way to meet people and network.
Seeing as how you don't want to become a 30 something waiter either, I'd say you also have plans to "be somewhere" (not being a busboy) later on in life. Being able to drink with others might help you set-up connections with people that will go towards achieving whatever great ambition you have. I know this sounds like a pretty lame reason to drink, but if you don't like the taste or the effects, this is probably the only reason why you would want to drink.
I completely understand and respect what you're going through though. There was a time when I was sober guy in the room that didn't drink. But I personally thought I might be able to gain more out of drinking then from not drinking. I guess if I didn't think so much in terms of "how much can I gain from this", I would have yet to taste alcohol.
|
Lol don't say the money @ 45 thing, I dislike people who think money is that important more than people who don't drink or smoke. Even if you don't drink (don't see the point in having it as a principle) you can still join them when going out, right. As long as they don't get totally knackered there should be no problem as far as i can see...
|
DEFINITELY don't tell them whatever you thought of.
If you will do, they will think about you as a dick and you will just then get the feeling of being alone in unpleasant atmosphere.
Aren't there any other topics you can speak about with them? Like their families, some funny situations that happened to them, w/e?
If they will keep joking and you won't stand that, just say "Guys please don't, I just don't like it, let's speak about something else because that tires me" but don't seem to be angered or something.
In general try to stay connected, don't ignore them.
BTW respect about not smoking and not drinking, I smoke almost everyday and sometimes just have to buy like 2-3 beers to feel better. I know this isn't the best way of feeling better but what can I say, shitty period in my life, nothing big happens... vomited only once in my life tho, I know when I'm full 
|
On July 26 2008 19:01 aseq wrote:
Lol don't say the money @ 45 thing, I dislike people who think money is that important more than people who don't drink or smoke. Even if you don't drink (don't see the point in having it as a principle) you can still join them when going out, right. As long as they don't get totally knackered there should be no problem as far as i can see...
Problem is, it could be awkward if they would get drunk and w/e and he would just watch and pretend he's having fun :/
|
Become "allergic to alcohol".
|
10387 Posts
Just stick to your beliefs and ignore the dicks. It's not like they are going to become your lifelong buddies or be very important to you in the long run, so why bother sinking yourself to their level?
|
I am the same way. I don't drink or smoke. Hell the most caffeine I take in is from a soda here or there. I used to hang out with people in high school that smoked pot and drank a lot; had an ex that would drink with her friends, get all whiny and pissy telling me to kill her because of the headache and the next day she just goes drinking again! Dumb bitch.
Anyways, where was I going with this? Ohh yeah, I think of it like watching a SC replay. I see what the people that drink/smoke heavily go through and I know from them that it is something I would never inflict upon myself. So I learn from their mistakes.
|
I'm allergic (though no one ever believes me), so it's good for me since I don't like to drink anyway.
|
On July 26 2008 16:18 Salv wrote:
I work at a restaurant and when it's not busy, everyone just chills at the back near the bar/empty dining lounge and just talks. A popular topic lately has been getting smashed and going to bars. I'm 19 and all my co-workers are older then me, so they feel obligated to tell me their own opinions of things and give me advice; I guess they think they are wise because of their age compared to mine.
So eventually they asked me about going to a bar to get smashed since I had just turned 19 a little while ago, (June 1) and I told them that I didn't drink. Then they asked if I smoked and I said no, and they acted as if this was the oddest thing they had ever heard and for the first time in my life, they actually criticised me for not drinking or smoking.
For some reason everyone who smokes and/or drinks takes it upon themselves to make sure you smoke and/or drink. I have no idea why, all of my friends do this too, it's as if they are generally worried about me for not drinking and smoking, which makes no sense to me whatsoever. Stick to your guns though man, seriously. There's a bunch of them and one of you yet you're a pussy? What? I wouldn't reccomend saying your line to them, because it's pretty bastardly, but if you say it be sure to scream "GG NO RE BITCHEZ!" and do the FBH celebration right after. kk?
On July 26 2008 16:18 Salv wrote:
Harsh, but rather factual. If your in your thirties making as much money as your nineteen your old co-worker, perhaps you should refrain by giving life advice and telling people how to better yourself. I don't want to turn into 'that guy' from work who everyone thinks is a dick, so I am curious if anyone has some good ideas about what to do. Two options I won't do:
1 ) Go drinking with them.
2 ) Let them bust my balls about this for the duration of my working tenure their.
3) Go write more protoss to zerg blogs
So if anyone has any ideas, post away; or if you have a story or something that correlates to this, i'd like to hear it also.
|
Dont abandon your choices because of peer pressure -.-
|
On July 26 2008 16:24 EmeraldSparks wrote:
Say you have extremely low alcohol tolerance.
On July 26 2008 17:29 Gingerkid wrote:
a lean 240 lbs of muscle so when people ask me about it I just tell them I am a bodybuilder and am extremely strict about health and calories.
Don't make up some excuse. Just because you're in the minority you shouldn't be ashamed of it.
On July 26 2008 18:25 soudo wrote:
I'm not that big of a drinker myself, but I realize that we function in a society with a certain set of social norms. If my friends and co-workers didn't drink, I probably wouldn't either. It's probably because I'm not that experienced at it, but I don't find the taste of alcohol that great nor do I particularly enjoy getting shitfaced. I only started drinking (and continue to do so occasionally) because I thought it would be a good way to meet people and network.
This is a terrible reason for drinking. You shouldn't embrace things just because they are a societal function or because it is 'socially approved.' This is a very sheepish mindset.
|
Obviously, you've already made the choice to not drink. This makes them think you're weird or something. How much worse could it get if you flat out tell these folks "I've made a decision, I'm not changing it, and I've made it clear. Stop bugging me, because all it'll do is make me angry."
|
Katowice25012 Posts
You're really over thinking this. Guys bust eachother's balls because thats what they do. Rag on them back for something and move on, throw water at them when they mention it. Do absolutely anything but sit around and try to think of counterarguments. This is not a situation that is solved with logical reasoning, they're just having fun because it gets to you. You probably care about it way too much if you're even willing to ask the internet for advice, and I'm sure they know.
|
On July 27 2008 00:41 heyoka wrote:
throw water at them when they mention it.
lmao
|
What is the fucking point of this thread? Did you want a pat on the head or something? "No Salv, You Don't Need Drugs To Have Fun! Way To Make The Healthy Decision!". The fact that you're insecure about making daily decisions by yourself clearly points out why you have an "above the influence" attitude, and are not even open to TRYING a drug.
Although I do believe Alcohol is very, very dangerous, you need to grow some balls dude. One time isn't going to kill you.
and to Hypnosis: GTFO of this thread. You make weed look bad. I'm high right now and I'm not posting like a moron. Now you have these uneducated kids thinking that marijuana makes you an idiot. Thank you for the negative influence towards the cause.
|
Romance_us: I think the point was that he was sharing. What the hell's the problem with that? You make way too many generalizations about this guy's character based on one post. wtf?
|
On July 27 2008 01:07 Romance_us wrote:
What is the fucking point of this thread? Did you want a pat on the head or something? "No Salv, You Don't Need Drugs To Have Fun! Way To Make The Healthy Decision!". The fact that you're insecure about making daily decisions by yourself clearly points out why you have an "above the influence" attitude, and are not even open to TRYING a drug.
Although I do believe Alcohol is very, very dangerous, you need to grow some balls dude. One time isn't going to kill you.
and to Hypnosis: GTFO of this thread. You make weed look bad. I'm high right now and I'm not posting like a moron. Now you have these uneducated kids thinking that marijuana makes you an idiot. Thank you for the negative influence towards the cause.
It's a blog, dick. A blog is a daily log of thoughts. I was telling a story about an event that recently happened at work that I found interesting. The point of this blog wasn't to say that drugs are bad; it was to point out how ridiculously bad my coworkers arguments were for going out to drink with them or to try something new with them.
The two things I asked were:
1 ) What should I do? Which is more asking, what would you do?
&
2 ) Does any have any stories that are correlated to this.
It seems like my OP really pissed you off, which i'm happy with because you really are an asshole lol.
BTW: Telling Hypnosis to leave the thread because it makes weed users look bad is ironic, because at least his post was written so poorly that it was more of a joke then anything. You actually tried to make a point, but ended up failing entirely because you couldn't even understand the context and understand what I was trying to convey. In short; you didn't help make weed look any better.
EDIT: lmao, I was just thinking; the only two negative comments in this thread are from two people who failed entirely in writing their post, and were also high when doing so. Considering the nature of this thread, that's pretty funny.
|
Go drinking with them and stop being a bitch about it.
Edit: and don't smoke. That shit is nasty.
|
On July 27 2008 05:01 Goosey wrote:
Go drinking with them and stop being a bitch about it.
Edit: and don't smoke. That shit is nasty.
Insightful.
|
i love to drink, but i don't really like to party that much. most of the time when i party, i wake up in my underwear or covered in sharpie or missing an eyebrow or all three
edit: oh nvm they were being fags CARRY ON
|
to be honest, i wouldn't bring any issue of earnings on the table, some people get really offended by it heh.. I'd probably say "suck my ballz" but you won't listen to me anyways salv.
|
Have you tried talking with them about it, saying that you don't like it that much?
Sometimes it's surprising how well can it work.
If it won't, like someone said - do similar "jokes" to them :D call them drunken fatties or start asking when they will start eating carbon and smoking out of their asses, just don't let it become serious!
|
These situations is what humor is for. Just find a way to make them laugh about it.
|
My advice:
1: Don't give him the whole speech about not wanting to take his life advice because of where he is. That's insulting, unnecessary, and counter productive to your goal (which is a kinder working environment). It's true, but it's not cool to tell someone that. That's for his family and close friends to bug him about.
2. If it really bothers you so much, you can come up with excuses like "my family has a history of alcohol abuse," or "my grandparents all died of alcohol abuse," and such... It's not the most mature thing to do, but whatever, it gets to job done and it's not like anyone is going to harp you too bad if they find out... You can just tell them you were getting really pissed off and you'll both laugh.
3. You could just straight up ask them to stop it, because it's pissing you off. "It's my choice and I've made it, please shut up about it." Chances are they're just trying to be friendly and get you to socially drink with them because they don't realise how completely uninterested in it you are. They probably think they only reason you haven't drank is because no one's really put enough pressure inviting you to yet.
4. They're right, it is really odd to live in Canada and to have never drank by the age of 19. I don't know anyone like that. You might look down on these guys cause they're all blue collar, but even most people who are white collar drink on occasion. If you haven't drank with your friends in Canada by that age, you've at least been offered a glass of wine by your parents in most cases.
|
Honestly, whoever said that you should make up a story about your lack of tolerance was right.
Just bullshit them about how if you drink you'll just start puking all over the place or something. If it's too late to do that, or they don't believe you, just go with them one night, drink a beer or two, and than pretend your sick and run to the bathroom. Or pretend your drunk and act like a total ass.
|
I don't see anything wrong with going drinking with friends, you don't even have to drink every night if you don't feel like it but it seems like a waste to miss out on, at least go with them once. It's not gonna interfere with your studies if you time it right, every student here drinks.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
