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OK here it is.
I know this girl right, and she's about 1.90m, so about 15cm taller than i am. And she works in a boutique, and erm has a good sense of fashion. I met her at a privat party and she told me she wants to be a designer or something. Own product line and whatnot. The thing is she has a boyfriend and he's kind of a lumberjack. I'd say 2.0m tall and hands that could twist my neck until my head pops off.
She told me she really likes me, likes what i'm doing and one of my buddys knows her boyfriend and now you can consider those two a part of our friendzone i guess. She thinks i'm special, different you know. I was the dj at that privat party so she naturaly fell for my skills and good looks. Not the first time that happened to me, but it's different with her. We saw each other a couple of times in clubs afterwards but she's allways drunk and i don't know if i should exploit that. If it's right you know. I allways look if her boyfriend is around and he's allways there. So she found out my e-mail adresse and now i have her in my msn list. And she writes messages all the time. But i don't like talking over msn anyway so i don't write back. I can't get her out of my mind.
And here is why. When i see her my blood boils up. She's so fucking annyoing allways hangs at my side even tough she has a fucking boyfriend. And i have a girlfriend anyway! She's so fucking tall and when she's drunk and talks to me i have to close my eyes because she spits while she talks. When i'm mixing i don't wan't her to stand aside me and go all "yeah" and "so cool" and dance like she's on fucking crack. She thinks she's so "crazy" and that it's cool to be "crazy" but she's nothing but annoying.
Teamliquid.
This girl has to vanish.
I don't care how i do it but it has to happen. The plan of operation "get-the-fuck-away-from-me" has to be tought out in every possible detail. I trust you, the combined, the merged power of the internet to help me get rid of that woman.
But consider this while you help me come up with a masterplan:
1) I don't wan't to kill her. But i have nothing against an "ops did you fell down the stairs?" moment. Nono i'm talking about a 3 or 4 step stairs you lunatics! Just to embarrass her infront of everyone when her skirt goes up and everyone point's at her and goes "ha! look at that!" and she runs home crying haha.
2) Her boyfriend needs to be destracted. I don't fear him now, but i see a maniac behind his blue eyes. So i must be ninja. I must be a leaf in a forrest. Shadow must be my second home. There is no way on earth i can pull a "Goldenboy" on his girlfriend. I have tiny wrists and i'm afraid they will break under his strenght.
3) I will see them both next weekend. There are about 7 persons around. 3 women, 4 guys. I'm fairly shure that besides her boyfriend everyone is on my side. I will pay them for dinner over the next week to harden their loyality. The plan is to hang out and play billard. It's a fairly large center, not much stairs tough.
4) Everything has to go quick and if possible in the first half of the meet up. Otherwhise i don't know if i'm able to stop myself from trowing a bowl at her.
Maingoal
- Get rid of her "friendship" without pulling the boyfriend
Sidegoals
- Embarass her
- Somehow twist the situation that i'm a hero for my girlfriend
We need a copperfield here people. Think!
Edit:
- Refer to page 2 to learn about her secret fear
- Page3 might be interesting...
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United States32036 Posts
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On March 15 2008 04:11 Hawk wrote:
The fuck?
exactly what I was thinking.
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On March 15 2008 04:11 Hawk wrote:
The fuck?
I concur ... At least this is a blog not a thread in general section =\
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You people are useless...
i will seek a shamans help
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i dunno but this makes me laugh 
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tell her to fuck off or u rape her mom.
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Tell her you have a girlfriend and she's annoying. Problem solved. If the boyfriend is pissed tell him you didn't fuck her and he should thank you. That may get you hit but whatever.
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See my advice about using "the backhand."
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On March 15 2008 04:40 YanGpaN wrote:
tell her to fuck off or u rape her mom.
I don't know sounds a bit drastic. I will start a simulation when i'm at home tough and post it here.
On March 15 2008 04:40 MiniRoman wrote:
Tell her you have a girlfriend and she's annoying. Problem solved. If the boyfriend is pissed tell him you didn't fuck her and he should thank you. That may get you hit but whatever.
I'm really not good at taking hits. I usualy start crying for no reason. And it could backfire even harder and she desires me more because i had the power to reject her.
On March 15 2008 04:44 Titusmaster6 wrote:
See my advice about using "the backhand."
Where? Please link me to it. I have large hands, or long fingers, depens on how you look at them. Like i said i have tiny wrists. There is allways a chance they snap so i would have to practice first.
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How about you just go tell her boyfriend to keep better tabs on his girl, and that she's been hanging around you for a long ass time and won't leave you alone. That should pretty much cover all of your objectives I think.. you get her away, you could potentially embarass her by mentioning how she clings to you and shit, and your girlfriend will think no less of you for telling the boyfriend to get rid of her.
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On March 15 2008 04:49 Jayson X wrote:
I'm really not good at taking hits. I usualy start crying for no reason. And it could backfire even harder and she desires me more because i had the power to reject her.
lol. ^_^
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Not your average Tlnet girl help request.
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Zurich15317 Posts
BEst girl problem blog so far.
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if you push her down the stairs and her skirt flips up or smth. she probably finds it rather funny because she is soooo "crazy" and wont give a fuck at all.
I d rather change everything she likes on you. Talk a bit about how stupid all those fashion designers are etc. etc... Even the most annoying person wont stand a permanent snub.
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Next time you see her, drop your pants and take a fat shit right in front of her.
Problem solved.
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hhahahah at least this is a bit different to all othe other girl problem threads hahahaha
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pwn her and her bf at SC 2v1 EZ. Just mass workers.
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Just ... ignore her. She'll take the hint eventually
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On March 15 2008 05:07 zatic wrote:
BEst girl problem blog so far.
i second
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rofl at the plot twist!1
you can't just ignore her?! -__-
block her on msn, don't talk to her, etc.
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On March 15 2008 05:06 Pwntrucci[sR] wrote:
Not your average Tlnet girl help request.
Yeah, I was very pleasantly surprised to be honest. Hilarious blog.
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Wow a girl thats 1.9m tall.
Must be quite de-masculanizing eh?
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the nicer you are to a girl the more they want to keep away from her, so instead of trying to keep her away why not call her every 10mins, do it for a day then she'll be begging for you not to call her.
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On March 15 2008 05:53 YanGpaN wrote:
the nicer you are to a girl the more they want to keep away from her, so instead of trying to keep her away why not call her every 10mins, do it for a day then she'll be begging for you not to call her.
Uh that could go very very wrong.
But for plot twist sake, go for it.
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On March 15 2008 05:53 YanGpaN wrote:
the nicer you are to a girl the more they want to keep away from her, so instead of trying to keep her away why not call her every 10mins, do it for a day then she'll be begging for you not to call her.
annoying girl's bf will pwn him (:
Rejecting her is not actually as bad as you think, if you ignore her accordingly afterwards it should work.
Just avoid her.
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Tell her boyfriend that she's been trying to hook up with you. Boyfriend will be angry at her, and you can get away free. Or, you could find a way to make yourself extremely unattractive. For example, you could 'admit' to her that you have a necrophilia fetish, and invite her to come to the morgue. (although if she takes you up on the offer, you have a serious problem on your hands). Seriously, I don't know, I just think it would be hilarious if you tried that.
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Show her your penis...
She laughs and is gone forever...
JK
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Tell her you're gay. And when the rumour spreads just say she's jealous you don't like her.
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On March 15 2008 06:17 LastWish wrote:
Show her your penis...
She laughs and is gone forever...
JK
LMFAO
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yeah those people that think they are cool-crazy while they are only crazy can be annoying.
wow i just imagined such a big girl with that personality. now i understand.
but yeah basically 2v1 them both ez, just like XCetron said.
Remember to mass workers and you're fine.
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get her pregnant shell never want to see you again 
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On March 15 2008 04:56 PiSCeS wrote:
How about you just go tell her boyfriend to keep better tabs on his girl, and that she's been hanging around you for a long ass time and won't leave you alone. That should pretty much cover all of your objectives I think.. you get her away, you could potentially embarass her by mentioning how she clings to you and shit, and your girlfriend will think no less of you for telling the boyfriend to get rid of her.
Hm yeah i think that could work. But it's just not mean enough. And there is allways a chance that he goes berserk on me because he's envious of my good looks. I could tell it to him from a distance tough, i'm a fairly fast runner.
On March 15 2008 05:09 RavenWrath wrote:
if you push her down the stairs and her skirt flips up or smth. she probably finds it rather funny because she is soooo "crazy" and wont give a fuck at all.
I d rather change everything she likes on you. Talk a bit about how stupid all those fashion designers are etc. etc... Even the most annoying person wont stand a permanent snub.
Ah you're right! I never tought about that. Still i will simulate the scenario later to test it. Maybe i have to play around with the parameter x (x=steps). The more steps the less she finds it funny, but of course with the dramatic chance of breaking her neck.
Your alternative sounds good, but it involves a discussion with her and that's not really something i wan't. I wan't to lure her into my trap of evilness, only then a discussion is justified.
On March 15 2008 05:12 BalloonFight wrote:
Next time you see her, drop your pants and take a fat shit right in front of her.
Too extreme and it might drop my coolness points with my girlfriend. I don't think she's into that.
On March 15 2008 05:23 XCetron wrote:
pwn her and her bf at SC 2v1 EZ. Just mass workers.
Yeah, and no.
On March 15 2008 05:53 ._. wrote:
Wow a girl thats 1.9m tall.
Must be quite de-masculanizing eh?
Yeah she has the shoulders. And you know what they say about girls with the shoulders.
On March 15 2008 05:53 YanGpaN wrote:
the nicer you are to a girl the more they want to keep away from her, so instead of trying to keep her away why not call her every 10mins, do it for a day then she'll be begging for you not to call her.
Uuh sounds too risky. And my girlfriend might catch me. That would be more dangerous than her boyfriend punching me.
On March 15 2008 06:13 CDRdude wrote:
Tell her boyfriend that she's been trying to hook up with you. Boyfriend will be angry at her, and you can get away free. Or, you could find a way to make yourself extremely unattractive. For example, you could 'admit' to her that you have a necrophilia fetish, and invite her to come to the morgue. (although if she takes you up on the offer, you have a serious problem on your hands). Seriously, I don't know, I just think it would be hilarious if you tried that.
Wah that's hard for people like me. And thanks for your toughts, i shall use it in my simulation later on too.
On March 15 2008 06:17 LastWish wrote:
Show her your penis...
She laughs and is gone forever...
JK
That could work. But the plan is to embarass her. Stay focused people!
On March 15 2008 06:59 ShmotZ wrote:get her pregnant shell never want to see you again
That's like a death sentence for me.
Ok i just got off the phone with my buddy who know's her since years or so. And as i was looking in the mirror while i talked to him he told me this: She's afraid of worms! WORMS! Haha! What person is afraid of worms? How pathetic! I shall make that to my weapon of choice. Or maybe i could use that if everything fails, i toss in a worm as deflection and run away. Oh she will pay. PAY!
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tell your own gf that the tall bitch is hitting on you
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next time she's sobber and next to you, tell her this "I honestly don't want any other friends like you... I already have enough of those"
hmm My friend said that to this girl that didn't want anything to do with him but be his friend... worked like a charm, he didn't see her after that day.
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On March 15 2008 04:00 Jayson X wrote:
She thinks i'm special, different you know. I was the dj at that privat party so she naturaly fell for my skills and good looks. Not the first time that happened to me,
hhahahah lmfao this blog has to be a joke, the best line imo is this one and the i'll cry if i get hit hahah i can't stop lol'in at this shit.
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On March 15 2008 04:44 Titusmaster6 wrote:
See my advice about using "the backhand."
Where? Please link me to it. I have large hands, or long fingers, depens on how you look at them. Like i said i have tiny wrists. There is allways a chance they snap so i would have to practice first
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=67610#19
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On March 15 2008 07:28 Bond(i2) wrote:
tell your own gf that the tall bitch is hitting on you
lol
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On March 15 2008 04:56 PiSCeS wrote:
How about you just go tell her boyfriend to keep better tabs on his girl, and that she's been hanging around you for a long ass time and won't leave you alone. That should pretty much cover all of your objectives I think.. you get her away, you could potentially embarass her by mentioning how she clings to you and shit, and your girlfriend will think no less of you for telling the boyfriend to get rid of her.
case closed.
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The more you push her away, the more she'll come back. The more you run, the more she'll chase. My suggestion is to just walk up to her and tell her what you just told us (except for the pushing down the stairs part). No one will ever kill you for telling the truth, and most women would prefer for guys to be strait up with them.
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Just fuck her and never call her again
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United Arab Emirates5091 Posts
teamliquid.net CANTRECOGNIZEGIRLHELPSARCASM
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On March 15 2008 10:06 Lisk wrote:
Tell her you like anime.
Funny that you mention that...next episode maybe tomorrow
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Physician
United States4146 Posts
jayson x just owned a couple of unsuspecting members lol..
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Just tell her you love her and you need her and appear very clingy and needy and since she has a boyfriend you can't feel bad every time you see her and crap like that. She'll be gone in no time 
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Belgium8305 Posts
So, if I understand correctly, here's the case:
- She needs to be embarassed
- She is a drinker
- She hates worms
- No traces can lead back to you
Basically, what you need is this:
Tapeworm eggs! I haven't seen them in my local grocery store, but I'm sure they can't be very hard to come by.
Use your ninja training to slip these babies into her drink at the next social gathering and it won't take long for the tapeworms (more commonly known as "The Fat Woman's Best Friend") to start a nice little colony in her belly.
It won't take her very long to notice the alien infestation going on in her abdomen.
The very realization that she's not just touching worms, but in fact nursing and sheltering them inside of her own body will get her to commit suicide faster than a samurai who just had his pants drop to his ankles in front of the Emperor.
And honestly, what can be more embarassing than suicide because of tapeworms? That's right, not a goddamn thing.
+ Show Spoiler +
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rofl. Best answer so far.
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Ask her for naked pics and post it 4chan
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On March 15 2008 05:27 o3.power91 wrote:i second
i third
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i27.tinypic.com/23rz3q.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://img256.imageshack.us/img256/6435/image014to3.jpg)
