EPT
What would YOU DO?
| Blogs > oBlade |
|
oBlade
United States5383 Posts
| ||
Nakajin
Canada8988 Posts
Maybe you could try to informed to her mom/one of her close friends, maybe not tell everything (aka the pregancy if it does exist) but at least warn them to keep an eye out on her and her boyfriend to make sure nothing bad is going on? It's not perfect but I don't really see what else you can do. You can always try to have a conversation with her or her boyfriend but I think it's ok if you don't necessarily want to get involved too much, especially if you aren't sure the answers you will get are honest/ if they really want to speak with you. I don't think you have a duty to tell the BF about the other guys, it does suck for him, but at this point it's not your fault/problem. | ||
|
oBlade
United States5383 Posts
I guess her mom is the closest person she can trust so she went there, but even they. I mean, she abandoned her when she was young. If there's anyone you can say, help, I might be pregnant, I would've thought it should be mom. But I don't know. Husband controlling everything now so I doubt I could reach her. I always wondered actually maybe her BF knew everything she was up to and it was just their relationship. Because honestly, where did he think she was sleeping? But it could suck for me as well if he thinks it was all me. Like I stole his wife. Don't want some guy stalking me specifically when she just went crazy and went on a spree. On the other hand, if he doesn't know, and I revealed that, he might really hurt her, or she could be on the street. | ||
|
Danglars
United States12133 Posts
The trouble I see is that you're an ex-boyfriend, even trying to help her out of compassion, and have a history with her now-husband that he will use against you. The only gentlemanly thing I can think of is to see if you can connect her with some other friends that will hang out with her and offer counsel and see if the home life is bad or worse. The others just appear ineffectual or counter-productive to me. She repeatedly betrayed him, and lied to you and probably others about him, and has slept around with several guys while being married. He looks like a loser. A marriage like that won't be healthy. I think that's the first important thing to accept. Maybe take a month of extremely limited communication (like respond to texts/phone calls once a week) so she knows you aren't an extra emotional pillow to use. If you can find some distance, maybe then you can check in and see if there's abuse or something very serious and be knowledgeable enough to call the police if so. | ||
|
oBlade
United States5383 Posts
 Right, everything I know tells me their relationship is messed up (They're both... Off). And that all her relationships are messed up. Of course that's natural but it shouldn't mean someone deserves to be some abused prisoner. It has been a while of them together though. They have some kind of way of dealing with each other even if I don't have the slightest understanding of it. You think I'm the jumpy one, or overthinking? Just I'd hate to wake up Monday and read LOCAL GIRL MURDERED in the paper. I am kind of in alert mode now so I'll see. | ||
|
Danglars
United States12133 Posts
Two messed up people getting hitched and forming a messed up relationship is still their choice, and the first level is accepting there's nothing you can do about it. Which sucks and you're supposed to feel bad that it sucks if you're human with human emotions. The "what to do about it" is a parallel to pretending you could reach in and force her to get better treatment for her disorder and block her car when she wants to cheat on her husband for sixth or seventh time. For the same reason that isn't going to happen and is just pretend, you're not going to magically protect her from afar from her choices as a wronged ex-boyfriend and make it all better. If you can successfully do the month thing I suggested, maybe you can be one to check in here and there for abuse and connect her to better friends or treatment. So you can feel you helped and so she might not always be the girl in messed up relationships constantly coping by cheating on the current one. But if you're still in contact with people that see her regularly (the ones that tell you their relationship is messed up), then you can just encourage them to be aware of signs of abuse and whether she's receiving treatment. | ||
|
Starlightsun
United States1405 Posts
She's an alcoholic and suffers from bipolar disorder. Also not exactly sordid, but difficult, past. She's not stupid, and is quite honest in a way. It's just that what's "honest" changes frequently.In some ways it's like falling in love with someone who doesn't really exist. There's a base human, but then there's this mix of mentally ill and substance abuse. But I thought it was a beautiful thing. She says I was the first person she met, and got attached to. Edit: I mean started cheating with me, I was the first of that. In hindsight I can partly believe that. You have to understand, it's like living inside a detective novel trying to figure out what's true when opposite things are said depending on what day of the week it is. I'd say it's not your responsibility to fix things for her, especially when you can't even trust that what she says is true. I don't think you should allow her to continue unloading her personal life onto you when she has proven herself manipulative and untrustworthy. Judging from what you've written, it doesn't sound like she's in imminent danger, just a shitty situation that she needs to find her own way out of. Any action that I can think of you taking could lead you to getting further entangled into her life, which maybe a part of you wants. That doesn't sound like a good idea to me though. | ||
|
oBlade
United States5383 Posts
Edit 2nd post: Yes she's untrustworthy, but in a way that becomes predictable once you get used to her personality. I wouldn't say she is manipulative as almost everything fails for her. Manipulative has some sense of competence. And also malice. For me. I'd say bipolar and messed up but fundamentally not a bad person. Maybe. I have my doubts though I confess it's not easy to believe always. But I've dealt with malicious people and even them in situations where it's possible something could lead to their death it's not easy at all to live with that thought no matter how bad or what they did to you. | ||
|
NrG.Bamboo
United States2756 Posts
| ||
|
Dangermousecatdog
United Kingdom7084 Posts
So the husband finds out about you and her somehow, but you don't feel physically threatened because you are fatter than him. What to do? I don't know, it's kind of obvious from about the time you found out she was cheating on you along with three other guys. Cut her out from your life. You care about her? Well tough, it's for your own good. You still want to Also don't use the word cuck. What are you some kind of incel? Second also, the very attached husband doesn't have sex with his wife, spends all day playing online games, but has his loans paid off by his broke wife who works and who cheats on him with 4 guys. I'm not sure who is exploiting who here. Not sure why either are emotionally attached to either since they never see each other. Third also, "But what's she supposed to do, leave a pregnancy test in the trash at the home where she lives with a guy she doesn't fuck? " makes no sense. She can throw it in the trash anywhere. Or even *gasp!* litter. You don't seem to know this but a pregnancy test are tiny things that can be placed in a pocket. We are talking about someone who freely sleeps away from their home. There was no reason for her to go live with you for a pregnancy test especially when many give results in minutes. 2/10, chronological order confusing, many ambiguities. | ||
|
Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
-Don't necessarily believe anything she says, she's obviously not a trustworthy or honest person -If you have legitimate reasons to fear for her safety then contact the authorities, but it doesn't seem to be the case -She's an adult, she is responsible for her bad decisions -Your impact on the life of a married woman, as a guy who's been in her life for a brief period of time, is slim to none, there is nothing you can personally do | ||
|
oBlade
United States5383 Posts
update is not pregnant. Fatter than him. Haha yes. Second: As I said one time when angry they're a match made in retard heaven. Third: You're right of course there are public toilets but you sound like a man, no offense. I don't like taking shits outside of my house. Can only imagine checking for new life in a McDonalds... About cheating. If you don't commit to someone (me, unlike HUSBAND), it is kind of... I mean there's no reason to assume any attachment or exclusivity just because someone says they love you and want to marry you. People get drunk and say shit. She has a point. I don't know if she went straight to me. Maybe good point. But at least I maintained some image above the level of the other trash then. Update: Yeah he forgave her. I said he was a loser, inspired by Danglars, but that annoyed her as I guess she's protective of him. Anyway he's only mad at me (not his angel). And he only knows about me. And he's going to take her phone back so at least I know how to reach him. He was talking about visiting again. Maybe tried to come here already, but couldn't get in, but anyway he really has the address and building code. Thanks for running defense for me. "No, I do not know his building code. Sorry." She can't do anything about him with respect to me. So it looks like I have to preemptively text him to make an appointment and meet me somewhere like gentlemen rather than show up at my house and stuff. Right? I know this hasn't been my most elegant prose. It's more of a raw dump. But it's a confusing situation so it's difficult to articulate. The process is helping. | ||
|
oBlade
United States5383 Posts
On November 09 2019 05:27 Djzapz wrote: In that position I would do a few things: -Don't necessarily believe anything she says, she's obviously not a trustworthy or honest person -If you have legitimate reasons to fear for her safety then contact the authorities, but it doesn't seem to be the case -She's an adult, she is responsible for her bad decisions -Your impact on the life of a married woman, as a guy who's been in her life for a brief period of time, is slim to none, there is nothing you can personally do YES! Now I have to run defense for myself. Idiot is living with a serial cheater and might try to come after oBlade with everything because he doesn't want to see it. I will have to sleep on this. I have no idea how to navigate that. The fact that he forgave her is great because it means she won't bother me anymore. And he wouldn't have cause to hurt her. The fact that he's mad at me means I might have to divulge the other suitors in the course of exonerating myself. Which would leave her under the bus, because it's easier to forgive one guy than five guys. That is, I don't want to get him angry at her, if he's not now, because then she will get angry at me. Also, then she might get hurt, which was what my instinctive worry was, but is not an issue right now. So I have to defuse it between him and me without implicating her. | ||
|
Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On November 09 2019 06:16 oBlade wrote: YES! Now I have to run defense for myself. Idiot is living with a serial cheater and might try to come after oBlade with everything because he doesn't want to see it. I will have to sleep on this. I have no idea how to navigate that. The fact that he forgave her is great because it means she won't bother me anymore. And he wouldn't have cause to hurt her. The fact that he's mad at me means I might have to divulge the other suitors in the course of exonerating myself. Which would leave her under the bus, because it's easier to forgive one guy than five guys. That is, I don't want to get him angry at her, if he's not now, because then she will get angry at me. Also, then she might get hurt, which was what my instinctive worry was, but is not an issue right now. So I have to defuse it between him and me without implicating her. The number of people who would actually be violent towards the person their wife cheated with is rather small. It's just one of the ways in which people get "wronged" in life. Also, a guy who's being described as I guess a passive, lazy gamer and forgiving of her infidelities doesn't immediately come off to me as very threatening. | ||
|
NrG.Bamboo
United States2756 Posts
Also I feel the need to re-assess some of the initial points. Let's be honest, she probably just showed him the texts after he asked "hey wtf is with this email I got saying you've been fucking around on me?" She didn't tell you that because she is a liar and it's easier to place the blame on her "controlling" man. They reconcile, here we are. She didn't really throw you under the bus, you were laying in the street. All that being said, I've definitely been wrong before :p | ||
|
Dangermousecatdog
United Kingdom7084 Posts
Btw, there is no reason why she can't just do the pregnancy test in her own home. Can't throw the pregnancy test in the trash is such a dumb reason for someone who can freely move around. She doesn't have pockets? She can't just go do it in her mother's home? She is having sex with 3 guys in a month other than her husband, and you think a fast food restaurant toilet is too dirty for her? She must be having sex with those 3 guys in that exact previous month btw, that's kind of how you would think you are pregnant works, because you missed a period. Where is the pregnancy test now btw? In your trash? Actually I just want to repeat a point bamboo made. Everthing you know about her husband is from her. Apart from "From him. Who told me from her phone to back off. That he has my picture blahblah and knows what's going on and let's not have any trouble." which is so light on details it sounds made up, you never seen or met him, that may not even be her husband at all. For all you know, he might be a 7 foot tall gentle beefcake who wouldn't hurt a fly with an open relationship with her, and the other guy on the end of the phone is just some random guy. How did you even found his email anyways? How did you even find out that when she was your girlfriend that she was already living with her boyfriend of 5+ years.Why did he said she would have to go to court? This husband may not even exist at all. Like I have written before, your story is unclear on a lot of details. | ||
|
oBlade
United States5383 Posts
On November 09 2019 07:14 NrG.Bamboo wrote: You don't really need to diffuse anything lol. You contacted her again to call him a loser, evidently (how did you think that would go well, especially if he has access to her phone?) Why do you keep putting yourself in their business? Just leave it alone, man. Loser was incidental. She just texted me while he was sleeping and talked about what's going on. Not their business, mine, I don't want a guy after me you understand. On November 09 2019 07:14 NrG.Bamboo wrote: Also I feel the need to re-assess some of the initial points. Let's be honest, she probably just showed him the texts after he asked "hey wtf is with this email I got saying you've been fucking around on me?" She didn't tell you that because she is a liar and it's easier to place the blame on her "controlling" man. They reconcile, here we are. She didn't really throw you under the bus, you were laying in the street. All that being said, I've definitely been wrong before :p The controlling part was in regards to me worrying about his reaction and them being together. He has no history of being super controlling as we can see. The timing doesn't add up for me to think the email reached him or that it was anything about that. Could have just become independently suspicious due to them having a terrible relationship and her never being home. On November 09 2019 07:33 Dangermousecatdog wrote: You need to think what you want out of this. Not sure why you went ahead and told her that her husband is a loser, maybe you need to think on that one. If that's what you want to do though that's fine. Everyone is an idiot and a loser. Both of them are, and so are you for letting her into your home. If you want to tell her husband about the other 3 guys that's fine too. Set up a private meeting. Tell him you want to play some Lineage. How do you even know about the other three guys? She told you? If you worry about her getting hurt, then you don't need to worry at all, it's her life, she can hurt herself just fine. Like Bamboo has written, if you want to diffuse, just stop talking to her. Easy. I would like to meet him in a way where even if I'm scapegoated for her behavior I don't have him or anybody after me. Or what would he want with my address and building code. On November 09 2019 07:33 Dangermousecatdog wrote: Btw, there is no reason why she can't just do the pregnancy test in her own home. Can't throw the pregnancy test in the trash is such a dumb reason for someone who can freely move around. She doesn't have pockets? She can't just go do it in her mother's home? She is having sex with 3 guys in a month other than her husband, and you think a fast food restaurant toilet is too dirty for her? She must be having sex with those 3 guys in that exact previous month btw, that's kind of how you would think you are pregnant works, because you missed a period. Where is the pregnancy test now btw? In your trash? Thank you for illuminating. On November 09 2019 07:33 Dangermousecatdog wrote: Actually I just want to repeat a point bamboo made. Everthing you know about her husband is from her. Apart from "From him. Who told me from her phone to back off. That he has my picture blahblah and knows what's going on and let's not have any trouble." which is so light on details it sounds made up, you never seen or met him, that may not even be her husband at all. For all you know, he might be a 7 foot tall gentle beefcake who wouldn't hurt a fly with an open relationship with her, and the other guy on the end of the phone is just some random guy. How did you even found his email anyways? How did you even find out that when she was your girlfriend that she was already living with her boyfriend of 5+ years.Why did he said she would have to go to court? This husband may not even exist at all. Like I have written before, your story is unclear on a lot of details. Life is unclear, my friend. Go to court, because obviously he got mad and wanted to divorce? What is all the rest. Okay, for all I know, her father is Eisenhower and she's an 8 foot tall mermaid married to Rick Astley. | ||
|
oBlade
United States5383 Posts
I had been ruminating on what, if anything, to do. I thought just to offer to meet like a gentleman, friend told me his threatening texts were just big talk, and that he's blind, I said he's obviously operating emotionally so I have to focus extra hard on being rational. Friend said yeah rational. But what's the right answer. But in the meantime that backfired since he started angrily texting me on that app. Telling me not to talk to her (fine) and threatening stuff (not good for me). So I just said, she didn't say she was married, I hope you two can work things out, don't hurt her, don't threaten me, if there's anything else to talk about you have my number we can be polite and meet otherwise no reason to contact. Hope that won't end up provoking anything? I will update you fine folks if we meet or he tries any kind of revenge. Imagine texting your lovers on a phone in your spouse's name. | ||
|
IntoTheStorm
116 Posts
| ||
|
oBlade
United States5383 Posts
On November 09 2019 19:22 IntoTheStorm wrote: Man, this whole situation seems so wrong to me personally that I would immediately stay as far away as possible from this mad dog of a girl, form her aggressive friends and connections, from her mental and financial issues. And I would take the utmost care to look inside myself and improve my own mind and reasoning. The second part is fine but I don't get the first. Everyone has problems. You have problems. "Be afraid and run away from everyone who doesn't live up to your exacting standards." Marcus Aurelius I think. | ||
|
Dangermousecatdog
United Kingdom7084 Posts
You seem to be fishing for reasons to keep contacting her. Your ex-girlfriend wants to break contact with you but doesn't know how/you are deranged, so she makes up some story about a husband and having sex with 3 other guys in a month, that get steadily more nonsensical as you keep questioning her, saying anything just so you will just leave her alone. So just leave her alone already, she clearly doesn't want to talk to you and want you out of her life. | ||
|
oBlade
United States5383 Posts
It's interesting you would believe oBlade could be so deranged, and yet you give the benefit of the doubt to a strange woman you've never seen or talked to. Yeah she's totally innocent. Doesn't live with someone and isn't a serial cheater. Don't take my word for it that I know those are facts, just supplement your "alternative take" (alternative reality). | ||
|
Dangermousecatdog
United Kingdom7084 Posts
Everything is, she told me this, she told me that. Or it is "I learned" this, I learned that. How the fuck do you happen to learn these things? You tell us dumb shit like that a person can live in two places at the same time and how it isn't like you picked out furniture together. You haven't seen anybody related to her, so she either told you everything in person or through the medium of a phone, or you are a fucking stalker. I didn't say your ex is innocent. In case you haven't realised, and it seems that way, I wrote that she is lying to you about everything. It's the only thing that makes sense. Either that or you are lying to the blog about everything. The story stinks. The story either stinks because she stinks, or you stink or both of you stinks. Either she is utterly deranged, or you are. Or both. Only you can know. Either way, leave her alone already, she clearly doesn't want to talk to you and want you out of her life. Stop contacting her. | ||
|
oBlade
United States5383 Posts
On November 09 2019 23:18 Dangermousecatdog wrote: Reading your opening post again re-opened my eyes into what a hot mess you are. Everything is vague and unambigious and heck, you can't even place your thoughts in writing in chronological order. You are overly concerned with calling this mythical husband a loser and an idiot, and telling us how you are not a cuck (who actually uses this word in 2019 unironically?), yet this morning when you are texting directly with "him", you can't even tell him that she cheated on him with another three men in the last month alone. Firstly, cucks use the word unironically, and secondly it was an obvious next step from "No pedo" to "No cuck" just to use as an easy-to-understand and concise way of explaining my intent for internet savvy people. As well as a source of levity in a stressful situation. No, this evening when I was texting with him, I made the disciplined choice to follow the plan I had of not fucking things up for her by telling him about all the other guys when he's taken her back. And not especially concerned with insulting him in any way, but perhaps I did get carried away from the encouragement of those in this thread, as well as her and her mother. On November 09 2019 23:18 Dangermousecatdog wrote: Everything is, she told me this, she told me that. Or it is "I learned" this, I learned that. How the fuck do you happen to learn these things? You tell us dumb shit like that a person can live in two places at the same time and how it isn't like you picked out furniture together. You haven't seen anybody related to her, so she either told you everything in person or through the medium of a phone, or you are a fucking stalker. I'm not going to apologize for learning. On November 09 2019 23:18 Dangermousecatdog wrote: I didn't say your ex is innocent. In case you haven't realised, and it seems that way, I wrote that she is lying to you about everything. It's the only thing that makes sense. Either that or you are lying to the blog about everything. The story stinks. The story either stinks because she stinks, or you stink or both of you stinks. Either she is utterly deranged, or you are. Or both. Only you can know. Either way, leave her alone already, she clearly doesn't want to talk to you and want you out of her life. Stop contacting her. Yeah, I read that. Only I can know, but you seem to know better, and can tell me over the internet that up is down. I graciously admit I may be deranged but you have to trust that some things are true and not try to deconstruct everything and end up in some plane where nothing has any meaning and there's no point. Sure maybe I made the whole thing up. Then why are you wasting your valuable time telling us how much better you are and how dumb my behavior is if nothing ever actually happened? And why do you keep repeating that childish shit when I already explained what I'm trying to do is keep her husband from coming after me and at the same time not mess up their reconciled situation after he found out? | ||
|
Dangermousecatdog
United Kingdom7084 Posts
... For someone who is concerned about her husband coming after you, you are overly concerned with telling us that he is thin and how much of an idiot and a loser you think he is, and that he is just making big talk. Grow up a bit ok? Seriously though, don't use the word cuck. I can't even imagine a situation where someone would even say "no pedo". Also seriously, just stop talking to her. If you feel threatened, that is an issue for law enforcement. If you feel like he will attack you and your property in a fit of rage, he would had done so already. If you feel like your pride is hurt somehow by the husband, you never even met each other, why do you care about his opinion of you? Also also seriously, just stop contacting her and finding reasons to contact her. I don't care whether it is this morning or this evening (are you actually living in Korea? this morning was your words not mine), just stop contacting her. I don't know why you and her are still talking to each other on an app. Just stop contacting her. It's really simple what you have to do and yet you are just hung up on your pride about explaining yourself to some random internet person because you think random internet person thinks your ex is innocent and has a greater benefit of doubt despite being outright told she is probably making stuff up to you or something. I mean just look at this post: On November 09 2019 21:56 oBlade wrote: Your concern seems to be defending your sense of pride with some garbled nonsense. Instead of taking the advice to leave her alone.The second part is fine but I don't get the first. Everyone has problems. You have problems. "Be afraid and run away from everyone who doesn't live up to your exacting standards." Marcus Aurelius I think. Leave her alone already, she clearly doesn't want to talk to you and want you out of her life. | ||
|
oBlade
United States5383 Posts
On November 10 2019 00:19 Dangermousecatdog wrote: I ask how you are learning the things you write, and I say your info can only be from what she is telling you, or you are stalking her and you say "I'm not going to apologize for learning." What were you hoping for? It's not realistic for you to expect me to prove the nitty gritty of this to you when you've already showed where you're coming from. Even if I convinced you of basic facts, from what I've seen there's a low chance it would change the content or tone of what you're saying. If you had any extra insight to offer from you being personally satisfied with proof of the fact that she's married and slept with three other guys, you already could have shared it. "Supposing you're right, oBlade, and I'm wrong, then here's what..." Yeah. If you sincerely wanted me to prove or elaborate something, you've gone about it the wrong way as you aren't owed anything and apparently have nothing to offer for my trouble. On November 10 2019 00:19 Dangermousecatdog wrote: For someone who is concerned about her husband coming after you, you are overly concerned with telling us that he is thin and how much of an idiot and a loser you think he is, and that he is just making big talk. Grow up a bit ok? Receptionist: Good Morning. Dangermousecatdog: yoU SSEEM OVERLY C-CONcERnEd WiTh sAyInG gOod MoRNiNG! And no, I was quoting my friend's advice, who told me the husband is just talking big, and that I shouldn't actually be worried about him doing anything. It's not a personal attack on the husband, it's an opinion, and it wasn't mine. But it's one that you agree with, as you've told me if the husband was going to do something he would have done it already. I refer you to my signature. On November 10 2019 00:19 Dangermousecatdog wrote: Seriously though, don't use the word cuck. I can't even imagine a situation where someone would even say "no pedo". Your imagination is outclassed by probably anyone exposed to even the most rudimentary memes. What do you recommend people say? "Pedo?" Edit: Oh, what was I thinking. The original construction is "No homo." On November 10 2019 00:19 Dangermousecatdog wrote: Also seriously, just stop talking to her. If you feel threatened, that is an issue for law enforcement. If you feel like he will attack you and your property in a fit of rage, he would had done so already. If you feel like your pride is hurt somehow by the husband, you never even met each other, why do you care about his opinion of you? Or he's biding his time while perfecting some cunning scheme. On November 10 2019 00:19 Dangermousecatdog wrote: Also also seriously, just stop contacting her and finding reasons to contact her. I don't care whether it is this morning or this evening (are you actually living in Korea? this morning was your words not mine), just stop contacting her. I don't know why you and her are still talking to each other on an app. Just stop contacting her. Yeah I talked to her in the morning, her husband in the evening. It doesn't offend me if you don't read what I write, but you should at least be able to read what you write. On November 10 2019 00:19 Dangermousecatdog wrote: It's really simple what you have to do and yet you are just hung up on your pride about explaining yourself to some random internet person because you think random internet person thinks your ex is innocent and has a greater benefit of doubt despite being outright told she is probably making stuff up to you or something. I mean just look at this post:Your concern seems to be defending your sense of pride with some garbled nonsense. Instead of taking the advice to leave her alone. I'm struggling here, your argument is from your perspective you think it's a lie that she slept with 3 other people, and you're saying she's not innocent. With that post in particular I was just saying in life people aren't perfect, that's not a reason to just be scared and flee. It's not about what happens, it's about your reaction. Most people aren't that bad. Sometimes people get along and sometimes not, that's part of life. His post was good though. Just offered some general counterpoint as I think it's a little bit hyperbolic. MarlieChurphy's blog though, now there are some examples of really malicious people. Everyone go read that it's much more interesting. On November 10 2019 00:19 Dangermousecatdog wrote: Leave her alone already, she clearly doesn't want to talk to you and want you out of her life. I think we should see other people DMCD. | ||
|
NrG.Bamboo
United States2756 Posts
gl hf bro | ||
|
QuanticHawk
United States32028 Posts
this site needs more girl blogs | ||
|
oBlade
United States5383 Posts
On November 10 2019 03:57 NrG.Bamboo wrote: Damn, I should have looked at the title more clearly. For some reason I thought you wanted advice. gl hf bro Right now just waiting if anything else happens, or if he wants to meet. And in the mean time considering whether I should actively try to tell him about her indiscretions in their entirety. As would be totally understandable. A while ago I had originally wanted to tell him, because I believe in the truth, and if it were me I would prefer knowing over blissful ignorance. And there's nobody else who could tell him, no one who had that opportunity. But it seems not so simple. Especially now since he found out this way and is just mad at me. If we met I'd have to play it by ear I guess. On November 10 2019 12:05 QuanticHawk wrote: A crazy, drunk, unemployed honeypot somehow manages to nab a whole bunch of idiots and the op shrugs his shoulders and gives some stupid Marcus Aurelius quote this site needs more girl blogs Recently unemployed. In hindsight that fake quote was too sarcastic and esoteric if people aren't even familiar with Marcus Aurelius except as a Gladiator character. | ||
|
WombaT
Northern Ireland24215 Posts
Not that I particularly manage it well, I overcompensate a bit and think ‘do I really like this person or is it the bipolar impulsivity?’ far too frequently. As for other stuff I too frequently fell into the ‘if I have one more conversation with x person all will be cleared up and civil’ pattern way too frequently, and it rarely ever worked out like that. | ||
|
oBlade
United States5383 Posts
On November 10 2019 23:24 Wombat_NI wrote: Bipolar is a hell of a drug. You can be relatively emotionally stable with it, but it sounds like your woman doesn’t work hard enough at it. She has gotten worse over time. She tried medication but abandoned due to side effects. Of course, she self-medicates with the alcohol. Like I say it's incredible how nonviolent she is. I've known other bipolar or schizophrenic people. Some tried incredibly hard. One I never would have guessed she was bipolar until she told me. But then her unexplained nymphomania made sense. On November 10 2019 23:24 Wombat_NI wrote: Not that I particularly manage it well, I overcompensate a bit and think ‘do I really like this person or is it the bipolar impulsivity?’ far too frequently. That's fascinating that that's a conscious thing you think about. She said as well she doesn't even always know how she feels. Isn't that part of "working hard" though? Or what else do you do? It's really interesting you say that because that part is contagious. I found myself constantly doubting everything about what I think and my judgments and stuff... Like existentially. Just being close to that, it's like, what really is a person? or a mind? What are the boundaries? What's real? It seems like a totally different world. Of course I couldn't say I envy you. But in many ways she's one of the most real people I've ever met. I try to figure out why occasionally... Maybe your condition necessitates some kind of introspection that many people don't have? On November 10 2019 23:24 Wombat_NI wrote: As for other stuff I too frequently fell into the ‘if I have one more conversation with x person all will be cleared up and civil’ pattern way too frequently, and it rarely ever worked out like that. That's probably true. I'm leaning that way and hope he doesn't bother me or my life. But in the event he became suspicious of her story and wanted to know my side, I thought I should just offer to meet in person and say otherwise he has no reason to contact me. Also it serves as a good bookend to get him off my back hopefully. So hoping he wouldn't text or call or bother me with stuff, not that he would anyway even. It just felt like the right thing to say and I had to say something for closure. | ||
|
Samsakzerg
61 Posts
| ||
|
oBlade
United States5383 Posts
| ||
|
Dangermousecatdog
United Kingdom7084 Posts
Leave her alone. She doesn't want to talk to you and want you out of her life. Stop looking for support on TL to contact her. | ||
|
oBlade
United States5383 Posts
| ||
|
evilfatsh1t
Australia8612 Posts
run like the wind. no more problems | ||
|
JimmiC
Canada22817 Posts
| ||
|
Jerubaal
United States7684 Posts
On November 09 2019 05:19 Dangermousecatdog wrote: Also don't use the word cuck. What are you some kind of incel? Poe's Law. | ||
|
WombaT
Northern Ireland24215 Posts
On November 11 2019 00:36 oBlade wrote: She has gotten worse over time. She tried medication but abandoned due to side effects. Of course, she self-medicates with the alcohol. Like I say it's incredible how nonviolent she is. I've known other bipolar or schizophrenic people. Some tried incredibly hard. One I never would have guessed she was bipolar until she told me. But then her unexplained nymphomania made sense. That's fascinating that that's a conscious thing you think about. She said as well she doesn't even always know how she feels. Isn't that part of "working hard" though? Or what else do you do? It's really interesting you say that because that part is contagious. I found myself constantly doubting everything about what I think and my judgments and stuff... Like existentially. Just being close to that, it's like, what really is a person? or a mind? What are the boundaries? What's real? It seems like a totally different world. Of course I couldn't say I envy you. But in many ways she's one of the most real people I've ever met. I try to figure out why occasionally... Maybe your condition necessitates some kind of introspection that many people don't have? That's probably true. I'm leaning that way and hope he doesn't bother me or my life. But in the event he became suspicious of her story and wanted to know my side, I thought I should just offer to meet in person and say otherwise he has no reason to contact me. Also it serves as a good bookend to get him off my back hopefully. So hoping he wouldn't text or call or bother me with stuff, not that he would anyway even. It just felt like the right thing to say and I had to say something for closure. Well Bipolar people, if they’re skewing high as opposed to low and depressed will be the most ‘real’ people you’ll meet as a lack of impulse control will have people doing whatever they want to in that particular moment regardless of any long term considerations. Which would somewhat explain the train wreck of her romantic life, it’s not any kind of scheme or plan she is just doing what feels right at any particular moment regardless of the future complexities it is introducing. My condition absolutely requires introspection to manage and fighting emotional pulls with logic or coping structures, if you want to stay stable and have a life similar to that of someone who isn’t suffering from a mental illness. As I said previously with me I might be overcompensating to avoid reckless impulsivity and cutting off things that are ‘real’, but I err on the side of caution. Some people don’t do this out of laziness or ignorance of how to manage things, but others don’t because they actively like living in the moment and being impulsive and free-spirited. I personally prefer to be as stable as I can because at one stage I was extremely unwell and had to take a full year out of normal life via hospitalisation, and I’d rather avoid a return. I think your intentions re the husband are as you say, but in my experience expectation doesn’t match reality. I’ve had many times where if I just have that one more conversation things will be cool and all will be explained and it rarely works out like that. Sorry for the late reply to the post by the way, if you’re curious about the things I outlined briefly feel free to PM me. | ||
|
ninazerg
United States7291 Posts
Also, if another man even looks at your woman, you must challenge him to a duel. Always carry a sword with you so you are always prepared for a duel. | ||
|
JimmiC
Canada22817 Posts
| ||
|
WombaT
Northern Ireland24215 Posts
On November 16 2019 12:27 JimmiC wrote: I think really old and inaccurate pistols, Hamilton style, is the way to go when it comes to duels. Too much RNG. | ||
|
Archeon
3252 Posts
You need to stop clinging to the girl. She has no loyalty to you (or anyone else), she is a massive burden to everyone around her and she caused a lot of stress for other people by her inability to either get her shit together or at least being honest. Yes she's bipolar and that makes it very difficult, but that doesn't mean that she has no responsibility for all the shit she does. How many boyfriends/husbands would stay calm if they get cheated repetitively? How many would tell the lover to fuck off and leave it at that? At what point of your clinically insane wife keeping contact with her lover do you start looking for the guy, either to have a serious talk or because you feel ridiculed and horned and angry enough to snap? It's also pretty easy for him to get your address, since all he has to do is ask his wife. Could you stop acting like a dick to this guy and stop provoking him? Btw it's no wonder he has access to her phone when she's proven repetitively to be extremely unreliable and is clinically insane and chronically drunk on top. And she's worse than everything he's suspecting while they planned to get married soon. Also funny how you say that she's honest when she didn't tell you that she had a bf, played it down, made excuses, didn't tell you that she was going to get married, cheated on you and her husband with multiple different guys and sold you to her husband to deflect his anger on you. FFS man, rip those rose tinted glasses from your face, she lied to you, used you and threw you under the bus. She might be apologetic and maybe "this just happened in the spur of the moment", but you don't need to be malevolent or chronically drunk or crazy to choose the easy solution for yourself and the hard one for everyone else. You just need to be extremely irresponsible and self-centered. I agree with Dangermousecat in that regard: Get out now! Stop contacting her, it makes her husband (rightfully) angry, it doesn't help her and it doesn't help you. Stop getting in contact. | ||
|
SC-Shield
Bulgaria816 Posts
| ||
|
oBlade
United States5383 Posts
On November 16 2019 02:29 JimmiC wrote: You really need to cut off connection. I get that is not easy to do. But she is clearly in some way getting something out of the Drama, it is no coincidence that he keeps finding out about you and not others. She must oddly get some, oh he actually cares when he is mad thing out of it. With her substance abuse and other issues she has a lot to fix and there is nothing you can do for her until she does a bunch for herself. That's very true, I remember telling my friend that when we were together. If you're just relaxed and comfortable with her it seems like it's just empty, but getting mad or fighting is like proving you care. Or that's how it felt. Hard to imagine exactly what goes through her head. On November 16 2019 12:23 ninazerg wrote: I would've put the label [Girl Blog] before the title. Also, if another man even looks at your woman, you must challenge him to a duel. Always carry a sword with you so you are always prepared for a duel. I was the other man so this would be inappropriate. Like breaking into someone's house with a coin and saying let's flip for it. Also I did consciously want to elevate my tragedy beyond that particular category because it has a teenage type of sound to it. "Girl" doesn't seem like it should apply after tying the knot. On November 16 2019 09:03 Wombat_NI wrote: Well Bipolar people, if they’re skewing high as opposed to low and depressed will be the most ‘real’ people you’ll meet as a lack of impulse control will have people doing whatever they want to in that particular moment regardless of any long term considerations. Which would somewhat explain the train wreck of her romantic life, it’s not any kind of scheme or plan she is just doing what feels right at any particular moment regardless of the future complexities it is introducing. My condition absolutely requires introspection to manage and fighting emotional pulls with logic or coping structures, if you want to stay stable and have a life similar to that of someone who isn’t suffering from a mental illness. As I said previously with me I might be overcompensating to avoid reckless impulsivity and cutting off things that are ‘real’, but I err on the side of caution. Some people don’t do this out of laziness or ignorance of how to manage things, but others don’t because they actively like living in the moment and being impulsive and free-spirited. I personally prefer to be as stable as I can because at one stage I was extremely unwell and had to take a full year out of normal life via hospitalisation, and I’d rather avoid a return. I think your intentions re the husband are as you say, but in my experience expectation doesn’t match reality. I’ve had many times where if I just have that one more conversation things will be cool and all will be explained and it rarely works out like that. Sorry for the late reply to the post by the way, if you’re curious about the things I outlined briefly feel free to PM me. I don't mean only the highs. I mean that most people seem to wear masks. But with her, the highs or the lows, it was just a refreshingly pure kind of sincerity. Like maybe only crazy people can be themselves. Really start to question a lot after this experience. Maybe love is only for the mentally ill, or it is a mental illness itself. Not being facetious. Stable is good. Other person I knew who said they were bipolar, I would have never even guessed it like I said. It's quite a wide spectrum. But I've tried to be stable in mental terms, not being affected by other people or what they think, or at least pretended to be stable, but realized maybe I'm just a coward. | ||
| ||
